χρυσόπτερος

“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading

that is so amazing ohhhh my gods, this guy absolutely is not the asshole that is just???? amazing platonic intimacy and affection?? which is good????

“I kissed the homies, as is custom.” Blessed sentence

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

I'm taking a bath with lights off and a lit scented candle, I thought it would be a nice relaxing experience but I feel like a draugr in a skyrim dungeon

*makes a snow duck* *makes a snow duck* *makes a snow duck* *makes a sn

WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE WHY DID SOMEONE REBLOG THIS

Wish this would specify the purpose of hostile architecture - preventing homeless people from surviving.

you ever read a gay fanfic and you can just FEEL how straight the author is