Coffee Beans and Pudding

Me

I’m over here dying to have a wife and straight men are still making “marriage ruined my life” jokes. Like? Buddy? First of all that’s never been funny. Second, if you don’t want your wife I’ll take her

​if ppl joke about marriage ruining whatever… bro, you shouldn’t have gotten married and your wife deserves more.

I find myself having to ask this question constantly but as a straight dude am I allowed to reblog this because I relate so hard

Absolutely! I wrote this from a lesbian perspective but I think it’s great that there’s straight guys who can relate. Cherishing your partner should be a universal thing

corporate marketing exec: so, what are the kids into these days, eating tide pods? frogs? me, scrolling frantically through the data: ma'am, apparently it’s “loving and cherishing your life partner of any gender”

lips: soft face: soft hair: soft heart: soft

lips: chapped face: oily hair: greasy heart: clogged

palms: sweaty knees: weak arms: heavy vomit: on his sweater already mom’s: spaghetti

Hair: Wack Gear: Wack Jewlery: Wack Footstance: Wack The way that he talks: Wack Way he doesn’t even like to smile: Wack Me: Tight as fuck

Confidence: A must Cockiness: A plus Edginess: A rush Edges: I like em rough

all i ever think about is skincare and getting rawed

you know that feeling when you cannot fucking wait to be in a relationship and you day dream about what you’ll do on dates with your future s/o but also at the same time you’re afraid to put yourself out there AND YOU JUST DON’T FEEL READY bc same

Dostoevsky’s novels, but every time the devil is mentioned, it gets faster

@skeleton-richard

Too soon for the last one

alcohol poisoning lol