I write about my interests sometimes

You held in a giggle. “Maybe.”

Rocky lifted his carapace off the floor from his side of the room. “What is packmate, question?”

Grace rubbed his face. You pushed your body in a sitting position and looked at Rocky.

You propped your elbow on the pillow. “A packmate is a member of the same social group or like an animal pack. Like a pack of wolves.”

Rocky held his claws together. “Oohh. Like the wolf documentary Grace had us watch?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda like that,” you said.

Grace shook his head. “I don’t like that. It feels weird. We’re not a group of dogs. And we’re not even the same species.”

“We hypothesized we all originate from Adrian, though. And we are crew!” Rocky chimed in.

You nodded. “Packmates, even.”

Rocky trilled and made jazz hands with his claws. “Yes, yes, yes! Packmates!”

Grace let out a long sigh. “I’ll take crewmates, not packmates.”

You frowned. “He’s such a lonewolf right now.”

Rocky tapped a foot on the ground. “Why Grace no like? Grace no fun.”

Grace sighed again, his back facing you. “I’m tired. Goodnight.”

In unison, both you and Rocky said, “Goodnight, packmates!”

Grace groaned in response and stubbornly closed his eyes. You let out a quiet laugh, and Rocky giggled in musical chords.

He turned his carapace to face you. “No understand. Rocky love love love you both.”

Your heart warmed at his words, and you smiled at him. Grace, who sat beside you, also smiled, with a little flush on his cheeks.

Grace elbowed your side. “See? I told you he wouldn’t get it.”

You shook your head. “Okay, but in this hypothetical, if you had to pick, who would it be?”

Rocky stared at you, unmoving. You stared back.

“No pick.”

You let out a loud groan.

Rocky put one of his arms up, exasperated. “Why ask a stupid question?”

Grace chuckled, holding his hand to his mouth.

You held in a laugh of your own. “Sometimes, kids with siblings will ask their mom or dad which kid is their favorite. It’s a question they ask because they want to feel special.”

Rocky tapped his claw on the floor. “Oh. Still a stupid question.”

He tilted his body to the side. “Why does my love for you have to be favored? Is the love I have for you not enough?”

Your face fell, and you stopped laughing. You felt Grace suck in a breath. Crossing the space, you stretched your arms and hugged the xenonite barrier. Rocky didn’t move for a second, but then pressed the top of his carapace towards your chest on the other side.

Your cheek flattened against the xenonite. “I’m sorry, bud. I was trying to make a joke.”

You closed your eyes. “I love love love you, too, Rocky.”

You turned your head to Grace and motioned for him to join you. He pressed his body against the barrier beside you, his arm resting on your back.

“I thought the question was stupid too, Rock,” Grace said.

He sat a few inches away, two of his limbs curled underneath the bottom of his carapace like he was a cat loafing. You were glad he moved out of his xenonite ball into an actual suit to cover his body.

Rocky shimmied in place. “Rocky notice your body is still active when sleeping. Why is that, question?”

You blinked in thought. “Oh yeah, I move around in my sleep. But a bunch of different reasons can cause it,” you started.

“Sometimes it’s maintaining physical comfort, regulating our body heat, or it can be tied to a sleep disorder.”

“What is a sleep disorder?” Rocky asked.

You yawned. “They’re conditions that affect how humans sleep, from the quality to the amount of sleep we’re getting. There’s different types of ‘em.”

Rocky nodded his carapace. “Too complicated. Humans too restless.”

You chuckled. “I think you’re describing Grace right now.”

Rocky tapped two of his claws together. “Grace should be sleeping soon, too. Rocky will remind and or get him if not.”

You reached your hands out towards him, a wordless cue that Rocky understood was a cultural thing.

Rocky trilled, happily trotting underneath your bedsheets to your chest. His body was like a personal little heater, given his insanely high body temperature.

You stroked the top of his carapace.

You had an urge to kiss the top of his carapace, but decided against it. He'd probably be uncomfortable about it, wondering why your mouth hole was on him. Perhaps another night you'd show him some other ways humans show affection to each other.

You let out a tired sigh. “G’night, Rock.”

Rocky shuffled closer. “Good night. Rocky hope you have sweet dreams.”

Closing your eyes, you fell into a dreamless sleep.

Grace shuffled into the dormitory a little later. He paused at the doorway, seeing you snuggled up with Rocky. He held in a coo at the sight, getting under his own bed opposite you.

He folded his glasses, putting them on the empty cot attached to the wall.

“How’s sleep watch going, Rocky?”

Rocky moved slightly, careful not to disturb your sleep. “Good, good, good. They’ve made minimal movements so far.”

And as if on cue, you flopped your arm over Rocky's vents, jostling him. You kicked your leg out from under the sheets.

Grace held in a laugh, chuckling into his pillow.

Rocky carefully returned your arm to your side and crawled out of bed. He readjusted your sheets for you.

He slumped his carapace onto the padded floor between you and Grace. “Nevermind. No understand human sleep.”

Grace patted the top of his carapace. “You know they can’t help it.”

“Yes, yes, understand that part.”

Grace rubbed his eye and relaxed under the covers. “Sweet dreams, Rocky.”

Rocky curled two of his arms under his carapace. “Rest good. Hope you have fun in other life.”

Grace slipped one of his hands under the pillow, his breath slowly evening out.

Natsuki:

Natsuki called you into the kitchen. You slowly pulled yourself to your feet, discarding the blanket on your lap. You shuffled into the kitchen, dinner on the table.

It was your favorite food. Your shoulders sagged at the sight.

Natsuki looked over at you, eyes soft. “Think you can eat what I made?”

You nodded. “Of course. I love when you cook.”

Natsuki’s voice was playfully smug. “I knew you were gonna agree, but good.”

You ate the food in silence. Natsuki kept throwing worried glances at you. After you were done, you took the dishes to the sink.

You washed the cutlery and the plates. Natsuki snaked her arms around your middle.

“Is there anything else I can do to help? I can dry,” Natsuki said.

You shook your head. “We make chores even. The food was great. I can wash and dry. It’s one of the few things I can do.”

You felt Natsuki frown on your back. “Don’t say that.”

You turned the faucet back on and continued washing.

Natsuki scoffed. “You’re a good listener, not only a good friend but a good partner. You’re passionate about the things you like and you work hard with what you have.”

Heat started to rise on your cheeks. “Natsuki…”

She released her arms from you. “No! I won’t let your stupid brain tell you things that aren’t true.”

She pulled at your wrist and turned you around to face her. You stumbled backwards. Droplets of water from your fingertips dribbled onto the floor in small puddles.

She glared at you and rested her hands on either side of your cheeks. “Your feelings are just your feelings!”

She paused. “I wish you’d believe that.”

You lowered your head and let out a sigh. Even if you couldn’t believe Natuski completely, some part of you knew she was right.

“‘M sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. I just wanna remind you that your brain is wrong and stupid.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you’re calling me stupid?”

She flicked you on the forehead. “No! I’m saying your mind is twisting sadness into negative self talk!”

She crossed her arms. “And if you don’t understand that, then yes, you’re stupid.”

You held your hand to your face and chuckled. Natsuki didn’t retort with a protest. She waited until you were done laughing, looking at you with a gentle smile.

You extended your arms. She quickly accepted the embrace, squeezing your shoulders. You got her shirt a little damp, but Natsuki didn’t seem to mind as she pulled in closer.

Sayori:

Sayori smiled at you. “The bath is ready.”

You kissed her on the forehead and went into the bathroom. You undressed yourself, dipping your feet into the tub first. The water was a little hot, but you stepped inside. Your limbs immediately relaxed from the heat.

You were slow with washing your body and your hair. Once you were done, you pulled at the drain. You dried yourself off and put on a robe. You felt a little less heavy as you stepped out of the bedroom.

Sayori waited for you in the bedroom. Her face lit up on your arrival.

“You feel any better?” she asked softly.

You joined her on the bed. “I do, thank you.”

She loudly sniffed your hair. “Mmm… you smell nice.”

You chuckled, and she intertwined her fingers with yours. “The thoughts were really loud today, huh? I know the feeling.”

You closed your eyes. “We’re two little depressed peas in a pod.”

Sayori giggled, and she grabbed a hairbrush on the night table. She pulled herself up brush your hair. You closed your eyes, enjoying the gentle sensation.

Sayori’s voice came out quiet. “I love you so much. And your dark thoughts are okay to have. That doesn’t mean they’re real, but they exist, and that’s okay.”

You held your breath.

“And I’m always here to listen to the negativity. I’ll always be here to sit with you in the dark.”

You blinked back tears. She finished brushing her hair and wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you into a hug. She tucked her chin on your shoulder. You held onto her wrist, squeezing it with your fingers.

“I love you too, Sayori. And I’ll do the same for you, always.”

Yuri:

Yuri led you into the living room, where a book lay on the coffee table. Beside the book, you saw your favorite mug. You gave her a smile, and she nervously smiled back.

You sat on the couch, sliding your hands to the mug’s handle. Yuri took a seat next to you, fumbling with the book between her thumb and forefinger.

Embarrassment crept onto her face. “I was wondering if I could read my book aloud to you.”

You lifted the mug to your lips. “I’d love that.”

Yuri visibly relaxed at your admission. She cracked open the book as you got comfortable on the couch. Once settled, Yuri read the chapter she was on. You sipped your drink as her voice carried throughout the room.

Yuri’s soothing voice made your body go lax. You closed your eyes, then opened them. She was too engrossed in her reading to notice you struggling. Sleep won, and your head started to lower.

Her voice brought you back to consciousness.

“I wasn’t boring you, was I?” asked Yuri.

You blinked awake and shook your head. “No, not at all…”

“It was comforting, actually.” You rubbed your eyes. “I felt really comfortable.”

Yuri stared at you and nodded with a jerk. You yawned.

“If you’re tired, maybe we should go to the bedroom.”

You nodded and followed Yuri out of the living room and into the bedroom. You both got comfortable, and you nestled yourself next to her.

Yuri’s voice was a gentle whisper. “Is this making you feel any better? I know you’ve been in a funk recently.”

You hummed. “Mhm. Anytime with you is time well spent.”

Her lips quirked into a big smile.

“I’m glad to hear that. And… if you ever wanna talk, you know I’m here to listen.”

You pressed your head to her shoulder. “I know. Thanks, Yuri.”

Yuri opened the book to the next chapter, her thumb holding the page. She opened her mouth to continue reading to you.

Monika:

Monika coaxed you into the living room from where you were bed-rotting. She had a small box of candy and a drink on the table for you. You noticed there was a notebook and a pen, too.

You turned to her, forcing back tears. “Thank you.”

She smiled and sat on the couch, patting the cushion beside her. You sat next to her, picking at the candy.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” asked Monika.

You shrugged. “I just have the mental illness that makes me sad for no reason.”

Her face fell at that. You grabbed a piece of candy, chewing slowly. Monika grabbed a spiral notebook, flipping open a new page.

“I have an idea.”

You lowered the candy back to the table, swallowing the one in your mouth.

“Okay?” you said.

She pressed her lips together. “Just word vomit whatever you’re feeling, and I’ll write it down. Think of it as collaborative journaling.”

You smiled despite yourself. You paused to collect your thoughts.

You opened your mouth and revealed every bad thought in your head. How you felt you were worthless, that you were lazy, and that you feel you don’t deserve the love you have.

Monika scribbled down every word, face hard in concentration. You could tell she was trying to keep her face neutral for you. Once you were done, she continued to write on the page. She turned the book towards you.

For every negative thought you said, Monika rewrote it to something more positive.

You’re not worthless. Your brain is playing tricks on you.

You’re not lazy. Your brain has chemical imbalances that decreases dopamine levels.

You are worthy of so much love because I love you. You are loved more than you will ever know.

Tears blurred your vision, and you turned away so they wouldn’t land on the page. Monika took the book from you, sliding it onto the table.

You pressed your lips together. “I know.”

He rubbed his face. “I’m a coward. I don’t wanna be sent off to die.” His voice wavered.

You pushed the chair closer to him. “I don’t think you’re a coward.”

Grace chuckled, devoid of any humor. “She called me that when I tried to argue that I wasn’t qualified.”

You grimaced slightly. “Stratt has… a certain way with words.”

Grace put his head back in his hands. You held your breath and reached your hand out, rubbing his back.

He involuntarily shuddered and leaned closer to you. He sobbed, sucking in quick breaths. His body trembled as he bit back on his own gasps.

You whispered in a soothing voice. “It’s okay, Ryland. Let it out.”

Grace mumbled incoherently, pushing the heels of his hands to his eyes. You said nothing as he cried and just gave him space.

Looking around, you saw a tissue box on the far side of the room. You retracted your hand, and he let out a small noise, almost like a whimper.

Your hand twitched. “Sorry! I’m just gonna grab you tissues.”

He sniffled, and you quickly retrieved the tissues and slid them next to his elbow. He took a couple more moments to collect himself and lifted his head. His hand fumbled for the tissues, and he cleaned his face.

He wiped at a stray tear. “Sorry…” he muttered weakly.

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “For what?”

Grace hiccuped. “You didn’t need to see me like this.”

You shook your head. “Dude, you have a lot on your shoulders right now. The least I can do is comfort you.”

He turned his head to you. “What would you do?” he asked softly.

You blinked. “In terms of what?”

He looked up at you, eyes, despite being puffy, looked pleading. “Would you agree to be sent off to space? Off to die?”

You closed your eyes and paused to collect your thoughts.

You thought about your life and the people you’d leave behind. The small moments of everyday life you’d lose. You wouldn’t be able to feel the grass between your feet, or go for a walk, or sit at your favorite restaurant, surrounded by your favorite people.

You took a deep breath. “No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t be strong enough for it.”

Grace didn’t respond.

“But…” you said slowly. “You’re not me, Ryland Grace. I support whatever decision you make, obviously.”

His eyes flickered towards you.

“But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You were the person to discover Astrophage. Not Stratt, or me, or anyone else on this mission.”

You grabbed both of his hands. “I want to remind you that you are not a coward if you turn this down. Make the choice that is best for you.”

He nodded with a jerk and picked at the tissue box.

“Wanna go on a walk, maybe? To help clear your head?”

He wiped his nose. “Yeah… yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

You pulled yourself to your feet and waited for Grace to walk out the door with you.

You stood outside of Stratt’s office, idling in front of Grace. He wrung his hands together, eyes glued to the floor. His shoulders were to his ears with his head low. You saw more of his blue beanie than his actual face.

Your voice was gentle, but firm. “Ryland.”

His shoulders tensed, and he forced himself to lift his head. The skin under his eyes looked a little blotchy, but it wasn’t super noticeable.

You smiled softly. “Let’s take a deep breath in, okay? It’ll slow your heart rate.”

You inhaled for emphasis, held it for a few seconds, and released your breath. Grace followed, he struggled at first, but the tension in his shoulders slowly relaxed. He lifted his head a little higher.

He gave you a weak smile.

You gestured to the door. “You can tell Stratt you don’t wanna go.”

Grace stepped towards the door, but stopped and turned to you.

Suddenly, a pair of warm arms surrounded you. You embraced him back. Grace held onto you for a little longer.

“Thank you,” Grace said softly.

He stepped inside Stratt’s office, shutting the door behind him. You let out a small sigh, your shoulders relaxing.

As you walked away, a small thought crept into your mind. Would Stratt really let him reject the offer? Not when all of Earth is at stake...

Ryland lowered the microphone. He reached his hand out to the laptop next to his leg and hit the keyboard. The song finally stopped.

Grace smiled. “I was just showing Rocky some earth history. This was the first song using computer speech synthesis in 1961.”

Rocky clapped two of his claws together. “Yes yes. Very interesting.”

You shuddered. “Dude, this song is horrifying! It’s creepy, and it’s used in horror movies.”

Grace’s face crinkled in amusement. He readjusted his glasses.

Rocky tilted his carapace. “Does friend not like song, question?”

Grace chuckled and patted Rocky’s ball. “It appears they do not.”

Grace pulled himself to his feet and approached you. You eyed him in confusion.

He took a big inhale and opened his mouth. “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do~”

Your face fell in horror, taking a step back. “No, stop it!” you cried, like an owner scolding their dog.

Grace paused to hold in a snicker. He extended his hands out to grab yours. His thumbs rested across your knuckles as he tugged you towards him.

“I’m half crazy, all for the love of you!” Grace continued, his voice growing louder.

You let him pull you across the room with a sigh. Rocky scuttled towards your leg, looking between you and Grace.

“What is Grace doing?” Rocky asked.

You let out a long sigh. “He’s torturing me.”

Rocky stared at you. “Oh.”

Grace stopped singing and let out a wheeze. He spun you around as Rocky followed.

He turned his head to Rocky. “Rocky, sing the next part!”

“It won’t be a stylish marriage?” Rocky said, his voice confused. He was a lot more off key than Grace.

Grace shook his head. “I can’t afford a carriage,” he sang slowly.

In unison, Grace and Rocky said, “But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two!”

Grace let go of your hands. Your torture finally ended.

You slowly clapped with a deadpan expression. “Nicely done, fellas.”

Rocky lifted his carapace higher, like he was puffing his chest. “Thank.”

Grace rubbed your back to placate you. “You wanna pick out the next song?”

You shrugged and grabbed the laptop on the floor. You situated the device on your lap.

“Sure. Let’s see what songs we have…”

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