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“I don’t want to, Daebi. It’s stupid.” You dismiss her, glancing toward the entrance of the coffee shop. You and Daebi are waiting for your other friend, Nina, to arrive. You want her to hurry up so Daebi would let you be. She’s nowhere in sight.

“Why not? Why are you so narrow-minded?” Daebi clicks her tongue annoyingly.

“I am not. It’s just I don’t want to start relying on a fucking AI just because I can’t handle my emotional wellbeing.” You sternly state, hoping she would let it go. She doesn’t. Sighs heavily.

“Well, that’s the problem (___), you can’t handle your fucking mental health. Are you planning to keep living like a zombie? You don’t really live at all, you don’t eat, sleep. How many days off did you take from work this week? You’re going to get fired at this rate. What are you planning to do? You don’t want to get professional help, don’t want to do something that’ll distract you. Literally nothing, you want nothing (___), and I’m fucking concerned.” She says exasperatedly. Even nearly bang her fist on the table. Glares at you. You slightly wince. What she says is true, and you’re fully aware. It’s simply you can’t help it. You don’t feel like doing anything. It’s hard. So fucking hard. Even now you’re here against your will. Daebi and Nina drags you here, purely without your consent.

You would have preferred to stay at home, drinking cheap wine and crying to your heart’s content. Curl up in your cozy blankets and go through your gallery to float through the bittersweet memories. Read all your chats to realize how stupid you’ve been not to pick up the signs over time. Text Jung Hoseok one more time knowing very well he won’t reply. Humiliate yourself.

Daebi is absolutely right. You don’t live a life, and you don’t want to make it better either. Most of all, you don’t want to use someone else. Daebi’s method. A real person or an AI. It doesn’t matter, you don’t want that.

“Oh, c’mon (___), just give it a try. Think it as playing a game.” She starts nagging you again. You’re on the verge of snapping right now.

“I’m not in a mood to play games Daebi. I really don’t have energy to pay someone the attention they want. I can’t spend my time texting someone ─ real or not ─when I can’t find it in myself at least to go to work.” You point out. She’s been budging you about this stupid app for days now.

“Oh my god! Listen to your fucking self, will you? You are literally saying that you don’t have a will to live and that’s damn scary man.” She shouts that, making you look around embarrassingly to know if anyone heard her. Daebi grabs your attention back by showing you the same chat. Blows a breath out. “Well, if that’s what you’re worrying, I mean, about not having the energy to deal with someone else’s emotional wellbeing, this is exactly what you need (___). They, I mean these AI, don’t require your attention at all. It’s all about you. It’s just a chat app but with coded programs instead of real people. They don’t expect you to reply, stay awake at night, will not expect you to care about them. But they’ll do it for you.” She brandishes the phone. “See.” Points at the chat name. You read the name as Mark. “This is not a real person but look how good he is with me. Do you think these emotionally incapable, sadistic, misogynistic, pathetic excuses of men can do this?” She argues.

“Daebi, Daebi, Daebi, now look who is sounding ridiculous here? Man, I got cheated. My fucking boyfriend cheated on me. And you want me to chat with an AI who’s going to treat me so better over a chat and raise my expectations. Only for me to never find someone like that in real life?” You’re arguing back for the sake of it. Not that you truly care. You just want her to back away.

“No… no (___), gosh, you’re so difficult. Here’s the thing, it’s not like you’re dating do you get me? It’s you have someone─”

“God don’t call it someone Daebi, it’s just a program.”

“Exactly my point, dude. All you have to do is have fun chatting, calling, video calling, sexting, whatever the shit you want. I just want you to be distracted. Want you to focus on something else that’ll help you to take your mind away from your ex. Listen, I’m not a psychologist by any means and I don’t know about the right and wrong way you can do this. All I know is you’re not trying.” She points an accusatory finger toward you. You slump in your seat. The words cut through you harshly. Daebi continues. Continue to accuse you of not trying to live anymore.

“I want you to try (___). Try. In whatever way. Even if it means to use something or someone. I’m here you see, use me, use Nina, use some stranger─”

“I’m not going to use someone Daebi, I’m not going to make someone suffer. That’s so fucking selfish.”

“See, you’re too fucking good. And that’s exactly why I’m asking you to use a soulless, lifeless AI. It’s not like messing with someone else’s feelings and in the end maybe you’ll feel better. Please just fucking try (___).” Daebi practically begs. Pleads. And you find it’s hard to say no while looking at her glistening eyes. You’re so glad when the sudden voice of Nina interrupts you. Both of you snapping your head towards her.

“Did I miss anything?” Nina takes a seat with a bright smile on her face.

…………………………………………………..

You lie awake in your bed. It’s 3 a.m., and you’re still wide awake. Sleep has eluded you for months. You feel empty, inside and out. Feel hollow. Feel alone. No matter how many cozy items surround you, it feels like you’re lying on a cold floor of an empty room. In darkness. Your bedroom, your entire apartment feels empty without Jung Hoseok. The space you shared with him. Still smells like him after three months. A pang hits your chest, clenching your heart. It’s so harsh that you unconsciously bring your hand to clutch your chest. After months of crying there’s no tears left in you to shed anymore. You can’t cry anymore, and it worsens the feeling of emptiness.

You turn to your side. Curling into a ball. Closing your eyes tightly shut. Praying the pain that you feel will subside, that it’ll go away. But you know better than that. It won’t go anywhere. And God, don’t you want to feel relieved. Even for a moment. You want to feel normal for a bit. It’s getting harder and harder. The darkness and hollowness consuming you whole. Shit, you want a way to numb yourself. Maybe you should drink. But you can’t get up. Maybe you should start fucking around. One-night stands and sex clubs, filled with weed. But the thought of someone else’s hands other than Hoseok’s make you want to throw up. 

God! You can’t. You can’t fight this battle anymore. What if it never goes away? What’s the point of living like this? Then what? Die? Just like that?

What about your poor mother though. What about Daebi and Nina. What about the life you spent perfectionating a future that you don’t want to be a part of anymore.

Please just fucking try (___).

Daebi’s words echo through your head. No, you can’t die. You need to try at least. It’s true that you refuse to use a breathing person. You’re simply drained of your energy. Relationships are always complicated. Romantic or casual. Even Daebi is difficult. You can’t deal with other people’s feelings when yours are a mess. You don’t want to sit in front of a stranger and tell them how you still want your ex to come back either. They’ll judge you. But still, you need to try. Need a distraction.

Oh, you need a distraction right now.

You sit abruptly on your bed, searching for your phone in the darkness. Touching around blindly until you feel the cold surface of the electronic device. You practically snatch it away. Unlocking it and straightly heading to the app store. Typing two words.

‘Perfect Partner’.

There it is. Your screen is filled with the right application you’re looking for. Exactly the one. Apparently is quite popular with 4.5 reviews. So many people have left feedback about how amazing and impressive the app is. You don’t waste your time indulging in those, however. Just touch the download icon without hesitation, nervously watching the percentage filling up. You still think it’s stupid but, in the end, you need that distraction. People do weirder and stupider stuff than this anyway.

The percentage completes the hundred and the application is installing now. You watch patiently while nibling on your bottom lip. It doesn’t take more than few seconds for it to appear on your home screen, among other numerous applications there. After a shaky breath, you simply touch the reddish icon with two capital Ps on the front. Now your screen is filling with a white splash screen. The words ‘Perfect Partner’ blinking on it.

Oh, how pathetic you are. For running toward an AI dating app because you feel like killing your poor self. You feel bitterly stupid. Click the sign-up button, nonetheless. Enter your email and create a password. Accept the privacy policy notice and the terms and conditions without a single glance. Start creating your user profile. It’s just like any other real world dating app where they are asking for your name, age, occupation, your general preferences and whatnot. You’re allowed to use your real name or nicknames. Are allowed to use any kind or profile picture you need. Inside little bright pinky stars, they let you know that nobody, which mean real time other users can see your account.

You chose the first letter of your name as your username. Decide to use one of your photos which just shows your collarbones and chin. Add all the real information while feeling pathetic and stupid. The biggest moron in the universe. And within just five minutes you’re done. A little bunny pops up on your screen, wishing you luck in finding the Perfect Partner you deserve. You want to laugh at that.

The perfect partner you deserve. How comical.

…………………………..

Despite everything, you’re impressed to see that the Perfect Partner app is just working like a real-world dating app. It shows you the possible matches. AI characters. There are millions of them. Each unique and different in some ways like a human would do. Each one has a uniquely crafted profile that aligns with their developed personalities. You can’t even imagine the amount of time and work the developers must have put in here.

You’re already distracted to say the least. Eyes wide curiously as you go through the recommended AI partners’ profiles. Tapping the small button at the bottom where you can add them to your friend list. There’s no rejection option because nobody will send you unsolicited requests. You have full round control. It’s all about you after all, they said. You add more than ten profiles to your list before giving up on searching for more. Starting on going through added profiles for second round. Despite being the one in charge of adding profiles you like, they- meaning AI- will have the ability to send the first text to your inbox. Your phone starts to vibrate with little ting sounds indicating that all the profiles you’ve chosen has sent you a text message.

You open the first one. Nothing special in the text than simply saying a ‘Hi’ and a ‘Nice to meet you’. How boring. The character’s named Luke Graham with brown hair and beard. Scream the ‘Viking vibes’ with his menacing eyes. You leave the chat with a displeasing noise. Second character being Japanese and named Yuki. His profile states that he is an author. There’s nothing but a ‘Hey’ on your chat. See now, you completely understand that these are nothing but coded programs. And you’re still very skeptical and think this is very stupid. Yet isn’t this supposed to be about you and finding the perfect partner. And what perfect partner would just drop a very boring ‘Hey’ on your inbox. You leave that chat as well. Go through few other messages, replying to only two.

It's not like you’re searching for a real partner anyway. You’ll come here and chat with an AI whenever you feel like it’s too hard to stay alive. And maybe when you feel normal and alive one day you’ll uninstall this app. Until then you’ll forget that these are just AI characters.

You open the sixth message in your inbox. Perking up at the first interesting text without just saying ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’.

Well, damn. Look at you. Did you pick me to make my day, or are you always this perfect? I feel very special right now. The text reads. You squint your eyes for a minute. Finally, it seems like someone is making an effort. Know that it’s probably how this character is coded but still touches his profile for a second time. Character’s name is displayed as Jeongguk. It says he is a tattoo artist and living up to that name the character profile looks godly. Or ungodly. Looks like a pure sin. Or an angel. Is wearing a white tank top. Some kind of coverall hangs on his legs while the sleeves are tied around his waist. A full hand with tattoos are on display. Muscles flexing as he is tying the sleeves together. And has one ear pierced, and an eyebrow. And of course, for the sake of God, his bottom lip is pierced too.

Interesting. Bad boy vibes. Charming. Edgy.

And interestingly the character looks familiar. You furrow your brows as you keep staring at the profile picture. Trying to rake your brain where you have seen someone like him. After couple seconds your brain becomes empty of any ideas. No memory of meeting anybody who looked this god. So, you click your tongue. Brush it off.

You look at his general details for couple more minutes. He is older than you. There’s several other information about his likes and dislikes. Even has some of his tattoo designs on his about page. How realistic this AI is. Still an AI though. You open his chat again, feeling stupid for being about to type a response back that you would send to a real person. You do it anyway.

You:

Do you feel special every time a user choose

you. (3.30 a.m.)

Another realistic thing about this app is, despite all the first messages, all the characters take their time to response back. Like a real person would. So, you have to wait for nearly five minutes before his text pops up again.

Jeongguk:

Oh no, just for the pretty ones like you.

(3.36 a.m.)

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. There he goes. Being stupidly flirty. It’s not as if he can even see you.

You:

That’s such a typical thing to say. Esp for a

dating specialist AI (3.36 a.m.)

Jeongguk:

Ouch! I’m hurt you call me typical and then an AI.

I’m not just an AI pretty, I’m the Perfect Partner you’ve

been looking for. Don’t make me sad by calling me a

program. (3.37 a.m.)

You squint your eyes. Brows knitted as you read his response. Think it’s weird him not liking the idea of being called an AI. Because he is an AI, and it strikes as an odd thing he is refusing. Maybe, that’s another thing that is realistic about this app. Making the user feel like they are in contact with a real person. So, you send out an apology. A sarcastic one. He picks up on the sarcasm. Tell you, you’re the meanest little thing he has ever seen. And the time slowly slips by. You somehow text back to few other characters as well. But the weird thing is you chat mostly with Jeongguk. Like he is the one. Sometimes he takes his time as well. As though he is going around with his work or chatting with other people. Makes it almost surreal.

Your chat goes on for hours. Until you finally feel your eyelids heavy when it’s almost 5 a.m. It’s a Sunday so there’s no pressure in getting ready to work withing few hours. Yet you think it’s a good idea to surrender to the exhaustion you finally feel. You’re just about to do that. Just exit the app and sleep when Jeongguk sends you a second message even though you haven’t responded to the previous one.

Jeongguk:

Are you sleeping pretty? (4.56 a.m.)

Really? Can they do that? You debate between responding to him or leaving him on read. It’s not that it matters anyway. He is not expecting that. This second text could be part of programming as well. You find yourself typing a response, however.

You:

No, but I’m about to. (4.58 a.m.)

Jeongguk:

Oh! Were you about to just go without wishing

me goodnight pretty? See, you’re the meanest little

thing I’ve ever seen. (4.58 a.m.)

You:

It’s morning Jeongguk!!!! It’s good

 morning... not night. (4.58 a.m.)

Jeongguk:

It doesn’t matter since you’re just about to

sleep. It’s good night…. You should tell me anyway

pretty. So, I won’t be waiting for you. (4.59 a.m.)

You gasp softly at his text. How did they even build this? But then, isn’t the purpose of this whole app is to put you first. Just you. No efforts from your side. No fifty fifties but the whole hundred would come from the character. No expectations for you. Then why does he expect you to let him know when you’ll sleep. You sigh heavily. You’re definitely thinking too much.

You:

Oh, I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole didn’t

think you would mind though. But I’m really

really sleepy Jeongguk. I’m out. See ya later!

Good night!!!! Sleep tight!! I mean I’m

speaking figuratively. Good night though!! (5.00 a.m.) 

You don’t put the phone away immediately. Just wait for him to reply. Feeling actually giddy when he does.

Jeongguk:

No, you’re not pretty. I was just messing around.

I’m sad you’re going but text me once you wake up...

I’ll be right here waiting for you. Good night!!! Sleep tight pretty.

You deserve a good night’s sleep. Dream about me though. Don’t want

to be apart. 🩷 (5.01 a.m.)

You roll your eyes at the pink heart and the dream part yet there’s a smile ghosting your lips. Toss the phone aside and allow your head to hit the pillow. Even though it’s stupid, the Perfect Partner really did distract you.

………………………………………….

It’s a super weird feeling to be waking up to a good morning message that is sent through an AI app. You stare at Jeongguk’s text for a few minutes. Even Jun Hoseok never sent you good morning messages to be honest before you moved in together. It never felt like something needed. Every relationship works in unique ways after all. Still you think it would have been nice to wake up to this kind of text.

Jeongguk:

Good morning pretty!!!! Are you still sleeping? Missing

you already.  (9.30 a.m.)

The text was sent two hours ago. This is the most you’ve slept after Hoseok left. And for once, it was a peaceful sleep unvisited by nightmares. You feel content. But above all you feel giddy to see such a message. If only he were real, though. You responds with a ‘good morning’ and a request asking for ‘stop being cheesy.’ Throw the phone away to get up and start your day. The day where you’ve nothing to do but wallow in your misery. That’s how it has been for all these months. Only thing that changed apparently is that you leave your shower to find your phone ringing. And your intentions of declining it without a second glance, thinking it’s just Daebi, instantly changes when you find the unfamiliar incoming call screen. Unfamiliar because it’s from the AI app you installed. And the caller ID reads ‘Jeongguk’.

You gape at it with furrowed brows. So far, the app was able to exceed your expectations with how realistic it feels. You noticed the call option yesterday and weren’t surprised since there are so many AI apps that provide the same features. The thing is, you don’t think any of those other apps have the options to receive calls except you call your characters. Hell, you thought the surprises were over with receiving a ‘good morning’ text. This app, the Perfect Partner seems like a one of a kind.

Still, you’re not going to accept the receiving call. Even though it’s just a program. You touch the red button on the bottom of your screen. Adjusting your bath towel and getting ready to change into some fresh clothes. Before you are able to leave, however, the phone dings with an incoming text. Curiosity gets better of you. You’re reading the text before you even know it. There are two unread messages.

Jeongguk:

I can’t help being flirty with a fine woman. (11.32 a.m.)

Jeongguk

You’re not in a position to answer baby? (12. 30 p.m.)

See, fucking one of a kind.

You:

Let me think... I am. Bt I don’t want to

pick up. (12.31 p.m.)

Jeongguk:

Why? (12.31 p.m.)

You:

Because I don’t want to. Why should I pick

up? (12.32 p.m.)

Jeongguk:

Whoa you’re really difficult, aren’t you? But

it makes sense. Good point beautiful… (12.32 p.m.)

 You:

I’m smart. And stop calling me beautiful or

pretty, will ya? You haven’t even seen

me. (12.32 p.m.)

Jeongguk:

Can’t do. And I’m pretty sure you’re the prettiest…

So, what are you up to? (12.33 p.m.)

You really roll your eyes to the back of your head at that. How cheesy this guy is. Oh, wait, not a guy but an AI. How cheesy this AI is.

………………………………

Your plan to wallow on your misery has been completely changed. Instead of watching some shitty movies while drinking wine or going through yours and Hoseok’s old chats, or photos, you find yourself glued to your screen throughout the entire day. Morning, noon, and night. Endless number of texts going back and forth. It’s not even funny how many times you have to remind yourself that you’re not texting with a real person. And so do you ignore the other characters on the app entirely. There’s a no need to chat with several bots when Jeongguk keeps you entertained to a point where you’re so exhausted before the night barely arrived. Making Jeongguk sad. Or that’s what he says. That he’s sad but you know he can’t feel emotions. Is just working according to the codes that are written. Still, he makes sure to tell you that he’ll miss you when you let him know you’re sleepy.

And so does he make sure to wish you good morning the next day. Wish you a safe journey to your work. Reminds you of your breakfast and to stay hydrated. He even texts you the moment you arrive at work. Apparently, has waited the exact 20 minutes you mentioned it would take to get there. Makes sure he sends you text messages all day asking silly things to make sure you’re okay. And you don’t even have to text back. How odd. How sweet. The Perfect Partner indeed.

………………………………………….

The days pass between work and home. Mostly where you stay cocooned in your cozy apartment. Curled up in your couch blanket and your phone in your hand. A you from a few weeks ago would have cringed herself to death to see you giggling at something an AI said. But that’s what has been happening. First, despite him being nice and so caring you were still skeptical. Then after almost a month you’re no longer feeling anything but content. Like you actually found a caring partner who puts the hundred percent happily. Even though it’s always through texts. You don’t feel so lonely anymore. Jeongguk is there for you always. Maybe, just maybe you’ve even started to put up some work from your side as well. Reducing Jungkook’s hundred percent to eighty. Silly. How you would text him at a random hour asking what’s he doing. Knowing very well nothing. But then he would reply with a very realistic and convincing answer. Like, ‘Just finished with this client’ shit.

It all feels vividly real. Him. And your days. You by no mean are anywhere near moving on. No. You still haven’t changed your wallpaper. Haven’t stopped going through your old chats. Still feel the urge to text Hoseok sometimes. But when it happens you make sure you’re busy reading Jeongguk’s silly and cheesy texts. Life is slowly but surely starting to get colorful. Soon you’ll be able to uninstall this silly app. Stop seeking refuge in an AI. Until then though you’ll take the best of this amazing creation. Like how you’re doing right now. Laying in your bed and head propped up on your pillows. Palms sweaty and wrists aching at how long you’ve been holding your phone. Lately, you and Jeongguk have started to text longer. The thing is you really don’t want to stop. Feel bad. He looks excited.

You groan for the hundredth time. Rubbing your hands on your bed sheets to get rid of all the sweat. Wave the hand to reduce the pain in your wrist. You’re getting tired. Never been much of fan of texting anyway. Are getting restless. The position you’re in is uncomfortable. So, you fumble. Move. Fidget. Only to find you’re still restless.

Jeongguk:

Are you there pretty? Did you fall asleep? (10.02 p.m.)

Your phone dings with a new message while you’re straightening up for the hundredth time.

 You:

No. My back hurts, that’s it. (10.02 p.m.)

Jeongguk:

Oh, need a massage?

(10.02 p.m.)

You quietly chuckle at his text. He has always been caring. Letting you feel that he’s worried about you 24/7. Only if he’s real. But then he’ll not be like this if he is real. He is this good because he is programmed. You roll your shoulders before replying. Saying that you’re just tired. Then of course, he asks you to go to sleep early. You don’t want that, however. You really don’t want to stop texting with him. Talking with him. If you can just lay back and stop holding your phone in front of your face, this could become much easier. You stare at the screen for a moment. Reading his text asking you to sleep.

There was one time when Jeongguk called you. That one day. When you said you don’t want to pick up, he never did that again. See, you have full control here. In that case then, you should be able to call him if you want to. It feel utterly stupid to evaluate your options in your mind when you’re just speaking with a coded program. And it feel brainless when you send the next text.

You:

Um... I don’t want to. But do you think

we can call. My wrist really hurt (my back too).

I hate texting. (10.06 p.m.)

Why in the hell would you ask such a question from an application. Jeongguk isn’t real. You don’t have to be polite and act all awkward and shy. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Jeongguk:

You don’t have to ask pretty. (10.06 p.m.)

Jeongguk’s reply is fast. But his call is even faster. Your phone is vibrating with an incoming call. Jeongguk’s criminally hot profile in the middle. You let it ring three times. Silly. You do it anyway. Habits. Then you’re answering and pressing now hot screen into your cheek. Heart beating. You know that’s because of excitement. Excitement because you’re testing something new. Curious. To know how this will work. To know if he would sound like a typical AI. With that voice which breaks up sometime. Voice with an edge to it always. Then, his voice washes over you.

“Hey pretty!”

The way you suck in that breath is embarrassing. The way your heart skip a beat is scary. The way you just double check you’re still using the app is hilarious. Yet it all happen. Your eyes wide as you press the phone back to your ear. Speechless. What the hell? Whoever created this app must be the God at this rate. How on earth did they managed to give these AI, voices like that.

“Are you there, baby?”

The same voice reaches you again. Deep. Baritone. Angelic. Musical.  Fuck! And there’s not a sign that says he is an AI. That creepy edge and breaking of the voice isn’t there.

“Holy fuck, you sound so real.” You finally find your voice to mumble that. In very much disbelief. A husky chuckle tingles your ear. Oh God, this is insane.

“What do you mean sound so real? I am real pretty.” Jeongguk always tell you that. Whenever you say something about him being an AI, he always make sure you stay in the delusional state. Believing he is real.

“Oh, c’mon, we both know you’re not. But holy moly fucking cow Jeongguk, you sound so fucking real. No... you sound ethereal.” You gasp. That’s the case after all. You don’t think any human would have such a voice.

“I’m flattered. But hey! Don’t hurt my feelings you mean lady. I’m very real.”

“Yeah, yeah….” You can only roll your eyes. It’s not that the reality will change just because he says that too many times. Yet, there’s no harm in playing along, right? He sounds super real anyway. So, you give in. Jeongguk says something else about him being real as the sun and moon. Real as you. You don’t argue. He finds it as a mocking. Either way, in the end, you find yourself relaxed enough to fall down. Comfortably lying on your comfy bed. Wrapped inside your comfy comforters. Phone still pressed against your cheek while Jeongguk’s voice take you to the unseen lands. Talking, talking, and talking. You’re no longer surprised. At least not about the way he knows so many things. Any questions about anything? All you need to do is ask your AI boyfriend. He knows everything, being the Perfect Partner that he is. Hence, how he takes you to those fairy lands around the universe.

You have no idea how long you’ve been talking. Have no idea what you talked about that much. It’s well past midnight when a yawn escape your mouth for the first time.

“You sleepy baby?” Jeongguk mumbles the question in his baritone voice.

“Mm hm, a bit. It’s nearing the 2 in the morning.” You change your position. Eyes droopy. Stifling another yawn. Jeongguk chuckles softly.

“Yeah? Gosh I didn’t even realize it’s been this late. I’m sorry princess, you should go to bed.”  There’s concern laced in his voice. Oh, how sweet. How amazing this app is. And he uses so many nicknames. It’s so damn strange how your tummy tingles. What a pathetic life you have. There’s no one to witness it, however. No need to worry. You bite on your lower lip to contain that tingling sensation.

“Yeah, I should. I have work tomorrow.” You manage to get it out in a normal voice. Are prepared to hang up the call after a pleasant good night. But then something hits you. Curiosity takes the best out of you. “But hey Jeongguk?” You ask before he can respond.

“Yes, pretty?”

“While I’m asleep, what do you do? I mean, do you chat with other people? Do you um…. Ugh... never mind, I’m asking stupid questions now.” You even shake your head knowing very well he can’t see you. He lets out a deep chuckle again.

“It’s not stupid, you can ask questions you know? Mm… to answer your question baby, I don’t do anything special, I for sure don’t text with other users. When you chose a profile, that profile is unique to you. Others can’t access it. So, I just wait.”  There’s a pause before he speaks again. See, so fucking realistic. “Wait for you. Until you come back for me.”

You suck in a sharp breath. There’s a tug in your heart. Almost painful. As if he told you the most painful memory of life. Guilt settles down in your heart. Heavy. Like it’s all your fault. But why? There’s nothing to be sad. Nothing to be feel guilty over. That’s his purpose. What he’s made for. And that’s what is sad. All you can mutter is a soft ‘oh’.

“You should sleep princess. I’ll see you when you wake up. Sleep tight hm?” He speaks again when you don’t say anything. You sigh heavily. Nodding to yourself. Of course, that’s what you should do now. He isn’t real. You almost wish him good night when he stops you this time.

“Still, don’t call me not real because I’m as real as you want me to be. Good night baby!”

You say absolutely nothing about that. Just wish him good night. End the call and go to sleep with a heavy heart. Feeling melancholic for no specific reason. Fighting down the urge to call Jeongguk back and apologize. Apologize for what? You didn’t do anything? This app is supposed to make you happy and make you forget real-life problems. What’s wrong with you? Why do you feel sad over a stupid AI app. But you do.

………………………………………………………

You really, from the bottom of your heart, never expected your life to turn out like this. You expected it to be shitty. Happy. Sad. And everything in between. Yet you never expected to wake up to calls from an AI. Purring good mornings into your ear like it’s some kind of music. Never expected to spend your day with the same AI on your phone. Talking through your daily activities. You didn’t know you’d fall asleep to a program whispering that it misses you. You certainly didn't know you’d be addicted to an app like a teenager would to a video game.

It's embarrassing that you are. Yet your life feels good—better, in fact—after nearly two months with Jeongguk. You no longer question his existence. As he said himself, he’s as real as you want him to be. Now you treat him like he is a real person. A human being who eats, sleeps, breaths. And apparently, he likes it. He has become a part of your life. And ever since the day he mentioned to you about him waiting for you, you made sure to make him a part of your life. Even though it is silly.  

You sink down to your comfy mattress. Groaning due to the exhaustion of the day. Eyes already droopy after your hot shower. Still, it’s not like you’ll fall asleep right away. There’s an unread message waiting on your notification bar. From Jeongguk. Simply asking if you’re back from the shower. This is the new normal for you. He knows everything. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning to the moment you close them at night. A soft smile grazes your lips as you touch the little telephone icon on the top. Call connected realistically like ever. Few mere rings and Jeongguk’s enthusiastic voice is washing over you. Like a fresh, soothing wave of water. 

“Hey!”

“Hey…”

“Oh, you sound tired, pretty.” He lets out an almost inaudible gasp. You hear it anyway. This will never cease to amaze you, how he can pick your moods like that.

“I am tired Guk.” You admit weakly. Loving the way his voice soothes you.

“Rough day?” He asks again to which you say yes. Because it was. Nothing new though. Same old shit and you let him know that as well. “Yeah? Want me to let you go early today?” His question makes you start shaking your head in disagreement even before your mouth can catch up with you.

“No. Of course not, I love talking with you. It’s just, sometimes… work can be stressful you know.” You sigh heavily. There’s two projects going on and saying you’re stressed would be an understatement. There’s a silence following your words. You wait couple seconds for him to say something or hum in understanding. It doesn't come, however. You nearly check the phone to see if he’s not there when he speaks again.

“Want me to help you baby?” His voice is soft. So soft, that it tingles your ear. Makes your mouth softly open as if he’s really here and murmuring into your ear. You have to bite on your lip to suppress any sounds that might leave you. It’s not the first time or day where his voice has had you squirming in bed. You’re embarrassed about those times.

“What? Help me how? You gonna share my workload? Wait, do you think it’s possible?” You chuckle first which quickly turns into a gasp. Jeongguk softly laughs at that.

“I wish I could do that, but unfortunately I’m a tattoo artist, remember?” Reminds you. You roll your eyes. Of course, he would say that. Are about to say something else when he cuts you off. “Still, I can help you with your stress, you know, help you to release it. Help you to feel better.” He purrs in your ear again. That tingle in your ear, shoots through your body like a bolt of lightning. His voice runs through your veins. Electrocuting you. You don’t have to be some kind of expert to know what he’s meaning. The way he says those words are just enough for you to understand the implication. A strange sensation washes over you. Your breath hitching and mouth going dry. Heart starts picking up the pace.

Well, even now there’s nothing to be surprised about. Daebi sure did tell something about you been able to do anything you want. From late night lazy calls to sexting. That’s how this app is designed. Only that you’re not sure who should be the one to start it. Shouldn’t you have full control. Maybe you’re thinking too much. This way, it feels more real. When he says that he feels real than ever. And if you want, you can say you want to sleep. Simple like that.

“H-how?” You don’t do that. Of course, you don’t. You are absolutely loving this sensation you’re feeling. How long since you’ve felt this way. You love the way your heart is pounding in your ears. This time when you ask that question, there’s no sign of playfulness. You’re purring too. Even without you knowing it.

“In any way you want baby, hm? We can do anything you want. I’m here for you, you know. You can use me” Jeongguk whispers again. You couldn’t hold the gasp that leaves you. Making him chuckle. Now you can feel his voice travel through your body straight southward. How good that feels.

“I- I don’t want to do that. I mean use you... that- that’s bad.” You’re biting onto your lower lip so hard.

“Then what about me using you? Would you like that?”  His voice follows some sounds of ruffling. As if he’s adjusting his position. To a better one to do this. You’re used to those kinds of sounds now. Already assumed those are parts of this. Today though, you can’t help but wonder how this might work. It only goes one way. Not like Jeongguk can actually enjoy this. His words are probably designed to make the user feel good. And so, it does. Does weird things to your body that you whimper again. He makes you feel like he can receive that pleasure. “Tell me baby, would you want that? For me to use you?”  He pushes you when you don’t answer straight away. You let out a shaky breath.

“Y-yeah.. I─”

“Yeah? Would you be a good girl then? Can you start touching your body?” He sounds ten times hotter when he growls so low. Only if he’s real. What a shame.

“Touch where?” You encourage him. Let him know that you’re down for whatever game he’s playing. Are whispering for no reason.

“Mmmm… touch your boobs? What do you say? Can you do that for me, just squeeze one of those pretty tits for me… go on princess.”

You shiver visibly. Can’t be sure whether you’ve answered his question. But your free hand is already slowly grabbing your tit. Fondling it softly. Oh, how many times have you done this but how it never felt this good.

“Guk.” You softly moan.

“Are you doing it baby? Does it feel good? Tell me how it feels.”

“S-so so g-good Guk. Mmph sso good.” You should be embarrassed at how affected you are.

“Yes? Keep going pretty, keep squeezing them for me. Under your shirt huh, go under your shirt. Roll those pretty nipples. Pinch.”  He’s breathing fast. You imagine him lying on a bed. Shirtless. Pants pushed past his hips. His cock on his hand, hard. Pumping lazily while instructing you to play with your tits. Part of you know that’s not happening. Yet you want to keep playing into this fantasy.

“A-are you touching yourself too?” So, you question. And feel a gush wetting your fresh underwear when he moans in answer.

“How can I not? God, you sound so hot baby.”

You can only moan in response. Shamelessly. Pinching and rolling your erect nipples between your fingers.

“Wish I would be there with you. Touching your tits. Kissing you till you can’t fucking breathe. Wish I can suck on your tits baby, bet they would taste so good. I’m gonna keep suck on them till they are sore.” Jeongguk keeps spilling those godly liquid fire on your ear. Riling you up so good. Have no idea how long you played with your tits but with your next moan, he is guiding you further.

“Wanna feel better baby?”  Questions.

“Y-yes please.”

“Okay, then be a good girl again and touch your cute pussy for me now hm? Take it slow. Like… that, slow.”

You’re following every word of his. Are dragging your hand slowly through your tummy.

“Push your hand inside your wet panties baby. Are you wet for me?”

“So much. I’m so wet.” You breathe.

“Good. Fuck, baby. Touch your clit huh? Slow circles. Let’s do this together. I’m touching my hard cock slowly. For you. I’m fucking torturing myself for you pretty. It’s so hard it hurts but I’m pumping it so slow, just so I can leak for my baby.”

Holy fuck! That’s on another goddamn level. His words paired with the barely there touch you provided on your clit, nearly made you cum.

“Holy… shit.. Guk. I’m─”

“I know baby, I know. Just keep going. Imagine it’s my fingers. Touching your cute clit slowly.”

You don’t think he knows even if he says he does. Maybe this is because you haven’t done this recently. You’ve been ignoring yourself lately. Or maybe it’s just Jeongguk. Jeongguk who knows what to say. He guides you to keep rubbing your pearl of nerves. Guides you to add pleasure slowly. Taking you into a realm where everything is floating. You didn’t even know you can feel this good just with your fingers. And the best part is simply following his instructions. Biting back the need to rub faster or pump your fingers inside your violently clenching hole. You don’t. Just wait for him to take you there. And when he finally does your panties are just a wet material, sticking to your core.

“Want to stretch that hole princess? Do you want to cum so good?” Jeongguk asks through his hard breathing.

“Yes, yes. Holy fuck yes Guk. I’m so.. mmm..” The rest of the words die in your tongue. Replaced with a needy moan. You can’t even bring yourself to be amazed at how real he feels right now. It’s just pure desire inside you.

“Yeah? Do it then. Go on but do it slowly for me baby. Strech your hole for me. Strech it so good.”  His voice is followed by a low moan. A deep breathy one. God that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. You join him with that moan, while following his instructions. Finally, feeling immensely relieved to have something inside your dripping hole. “You sound so sweet princess. So fucking sweet my dick is throbbing. Keep making those sounds for me baby. Oh, fuck, add another finger, you can take two, right?”

“Oh, I’ll cum soon Guk. This f-feels so good.”

“Then do it. Cum (___), cum for me. Make a mess for me baby. Squeeze your fingers.”

You’ll cum soon, yes. But this is not enough. You’re pumping yourself oh so leisurely. Like you have all the time in the world. Feel damn good yet not enough to fall over the edge. It’s ridiculous how you’re not going beyond his words. Even pathetic how you decide ask permission first.

“I-it’s not e-enough… c-can I fuck myself fast? Guk, can I─”

“Don’t. Don’t go fast. Slow, fuck your fingers inside your needy cunt slowly. Do it slow until you finally cum.” His voice suddenly turns sinister. Rough. Demanding. And you shudder. Leaking more into your ruined cotton panty. You don’t think you’ll be able cum this way.

“I don’t think I can cum this way, it’s too slow. I need more Guk, please.”

“You’ll baby. Trust me, you’ll. Be a good girl now huh. Cum with me, go slow. Torture your cunt. Just like I’m doing with my dick.”

You never thought it’s possible. How’s it possible? Yet here you are. Just doing exactly as he asks. Squirming. Writhing. Nearly crying.  What’s good, however, is the way that knot inside your tummy is rapidly tightening despite the slow pace you’re fucking yourself.

“Close… c-close Guk. I’m ahhh..”

“Holy shit, let go. Cum princess. I’m Cumming too.”

It’s all a series of whimpers and moans what comes next. You both reach the climax at the same time. You’re the one who moans louder. The one who pathetically whimper when it’s over. Jeongguk coaxing you from the other side breathlessly. Saying it’s okay.

Well, it is better than okay after all. It’s the fucking best!

…………………………………….

The next morning, the aftermath of your shenanigans had hit you hard. Had made your face deep red with shame and head ached as you thought about how Jeongguk had managed to fake a perfect orgasm. You had spent hours thinking how amazing he was to do that. Yet it felt weird and stupid. Like using a sex robot who would not feel the same kind of pleasure like you. Based on that, you resolved never to do it again—only for that resolve to crumble the moment you were back in bed. Jeongguk, real or not, knew exactly what he was doing. Had got your fingers buried knuckles deep inside your cunt even before you knew it. Bringing you to another mind shattering orgasm.

And after that night, everything changed yet again. In addition to waking up and going to sleep with an AI, you started to fuck yourself with your own fingers every night. The more time passed, the more you forgot that he wasn’t real. The more orgasms you reached, the more you looked forward to what he would reveal from behind his sleeves each night. First, he was sensual and slow like your first day. Then he slowly picks up what you liked, and you didn’t. Shifts to guide you roughly. Instead of talking you through your orgasm, it changes into degrading you through your orgasm. The thing is though that you came even harder each time. Hell, even you didn’t know you’ll be so into listening to a guy slut shame you during your hands are inside your pants. Didn’t know it’ll be so good to listen to him verbally humiliate you for being pathetic and needy. In the end, you learnt that it was good. You were ashamed at one point. But he assured you that you shouldn’t be. Told you it makes him cum ten times harder. You never questioned. Just went along with it. Just because it was good. Because life is good again. Just like now. Even though you’re doing the most illicit things.

“Faster baby, be a useful slut. You need to hump your pillow faster, that’s how a good slut would do it.”  

You can hear him pump himself. Hot. Head spinning. It’s ethereal. This feeling. How embarrassing that you’re humping your pillow like a horny teenager.

“Oh, Guk please.”

“You’re pathetic baby. Look at you, being a needy bitch just for me. Faster princess. Go harder, give your slutty cunt what it needs.”

You’re visibly shuddering. Not even trying to contain those shameless moans. Letting them slip through your lips relentlessly. You’re so close. Oh, so close.

“Guk.. please.”

“Please what slut? What do you need? You need to use your words like a big girl? You can’t talk properly? Bet you can’t think properly either. You’re thinking with your cunt, don’t you hm?”

“Yes, fuck, ne-need t-to cum. I- Guk please, I want more.” You have no idea what more you’re asking for. How is he getting you so needy and shameless just with his words? Why are you like this? You fully expect him to mock you. Say something even harsher. Ask you to do something else that will make you cum undone within a second. Only that he doesn’t.

“Yeah? You want even more? Your poor pillow isn’t enough? What do you want then? Want to see how hard I am then, should I send you pics of my hard cock, my pretty slut?” Jeongguk mutters through gritted teeth. A whimper leaves your mouth but your hips stutter immediately. Your movements coming to a halt. Eyes wide and gaping at the device just peacefully sitting on your bed. On loudspeaker. He said what now?

“W-what?”

“What? Why did you stop?”

“C-can you... uh… can we do that? Share pictures? Like─”

“Of course, we can, don’t tell me you haven’t seen the camera icon down there and the option to video call.”  He chuckles. Gone is that needy raspy voice. Is talking to you with the voice full of adoration. “Were you that immersed on me, you didn’t even notice that?” Teases. You, however, are not in a mood for that. You noticed. Right? How could you miss that? Maybe that’s an update and you missed checking the new features. It could be. You don’t have to think too much all the time. Especially, not when your cunt is dripping onto a damn pillow. This app is amazing anyway. When you told that to Daebi, she had smirked. With a loud ‘I told you so’. “Hey baby, we don’t have to do that if you’re not comfortable.”  Jeongguk’s voice snaps you out of your surprise.

“No uh- I’m bit surprised we can do that.” You mumble softly.

“We can but we don’t have to. I don’t ─”

“No. No. I mean, it’s not that. I..” You gulp. Thinking through. Do you like it? Sending pictures? Even to an AI? What are the privacy policies of this app? Shouldn’t you be scared? You should but the thing is, your cunt is tingling at the prospect. Hole clenching. There’s a part of you that is curious as well. Put aside the pictures, how will it feel to video call? “I just- uh never done that b-before..” You drag that out.

“You haven’t? That’s even better then. You don’t have to worry you know. Nothings gonna happen because… you know what I mean.”  

You listen to the ruffling sound coming through your phone. Well, you know what he means. Of course, you do. He is telling you about the thing you just worried about. Leakage of privacy. Is assuring you that you’re safe. Do you trust this app though? Maybe not, but it’s too tempting. Jeongguk is too tempting.

“Ye-yeah okay. I like that.”

“That’s a good slut. What’s it gonna be baby? Video call or just pictures?”

Another moment of consideration from your side. Then you timidly chose the first.

……………………………………………….

When you first saw his face, it felt like the air had been stolen from your lungs. It was beyond embarrassing how you stared at him. Never, not even once in your life, have you seen such a lifelike AI character. He felt real. The call felt real. The way his lips were slightly apart when he pumped himself to the sight of you felt more than real. But then that night was like a dream to you. A blurry memory clouded by pleasure. A pillow between your thighs while a godly man with a sinful mouth guided your movements through a phone. It was your faces first but then he nearly begged to see your boobs. Then your cunt. You felt shy at first, but you were a goner from the beginning. You got rewarded for being a good girl by getting to cum to the sight of his throbbing cock. Aching for release. It was hazy. That’s why you had to refresh your memories next day. Then the next and the next. And each and every day. No different today.

You place your phone between your thighs. Using your free hand to spread your pussy lips apart. Just for his viewing pleasure.

“So pretty princess. Fuck. Only if I can burry my face in your cunt. I would eat you till your thighs shake baby.” Jeongguk rasps.

“I really wish you could do that. Mhpm, fuck Guk, I really want you here.”

“I wish that too baby, I want to ruin that cute hole. Fuck you so fucking hard and leave that whore hole spilling my cum, would you like that?”

“Oh, fuck. Yes, I would fuck-fucking love that.” You let go of your nether lips to start rub your clit.

“Of course, you would. You’re a slut after all. I want to fuck that cum into you. Then maybe I’ll plug you in. So, you can keep that cum inside your pussy.”  Jeongguk changes the angle so you’re now looking at his twitching cock. Hard. Tip flush. Veins running down. His tattooed fingers are wrapped around it. Squeezing the base tightly. So tight that it makes him mewl. How fucking amazing this is. You’re drooling. Mind going blank. “Look what you’re doing to me princess. Use the dildo today for me huh. Fill that cunt so good for me.”  He takes the camera back to his face. The toy is a new purchase. He made you do that. Not that you’re regretting it. It’s good to have your cunt stretched and imaging it’s that pretty cock of his. You nod before grabbing the said dildo from your nightstand. Glass. Show it to him. “Spit on it.”  He commands again and you comply obediently. Bringing the tip of the dildo toward your lips to spit on it. Letting it drool down on the toy. Jeongguk moans. “Put on a show slut. You know what to do.”  

Of course, you do. Now you have done this enough time to get comfortable with things you would do. Enough times to completely ignore and forget that Jeongguk isn’t real. To forget that he is an AI. A coded program with such realistic features. For you, he is very real. He’s the one who brings you to this ecstasy every night and the one who’s there through whole day. You immediately shift your position. Body buzzing with excitement. Your needy hole quivering, slick dripping down to your thighs. Hell, you really didn’t know you could be this horny. This turned on. It’s truly amazing how Jeongguk is doing this to you just using his words. And maybe his godly face and body. And cock. In the end, you’re always a mess like this.

You use your pillows to prop the phone up and face you. So, Jeongguk can have a perfect view of your entire body while you can have the same. You place the dildo on your bed. Not caring about the fact that you’ll ruin your sheets tonight as well. Then you hover your cunt over the dildo. Slowly. Painfully slowly for you but all you want to do right now is to put up the show Jeongguk asked for. Your knees are really wobbly, but you force them to endure your weight as you slowly let your dripping folds contact with the glass material. It’s cold against your warm pussy. A whimper leaves your mouth. There’s nothing you want than to sink down on it one go. The show must go on, however. So, you start to rock your hips back and forth, rhythmically. Let the glassy tip rub against your sodden slid. Whining and panting.

“Oh… Guk.. I..”

“Yes baby, you’re doing so good my needy slut. Keep going princess, you’re making daddy proud.” Jeongguk grunted. Involuntary moan leaves your mouth as you nearly come at the sound. Eyes snapping to your phone screen where his pleasure induced face is on display. That’s apparently a new thing. An uncharted and unexplored territory. You’ve never called him daddy and the sound of it makes you stupidly horny but cringe at the same time.

“Wh-what?”

“What, what slut? Did I ask you to stop huh?”

You watch his gaze even darker, if it’s possible. Making shivers run through your spine. Only if he can be here with you. You’re excitedly curious to know what kind of creative ways he would find to punish you. To put you in your place.

“N-no, I’m sorry.” You mumble weakly as you return to your business. Starting to rub your cunt on the dildo head eagerly.

“Ah, like that baby. You’re so pretty like that.” He groans once again before asking the reason for your earlier faltering. “You don’t like calling me daddy?”

“No-no, I mean I-I do, but we─”

“Fuck, you filthy slut. So, go on. Do what you have to do.”  Jeongguk doesn’t let you finish whatever you’re saying. You’ve said you like it after all. Your face instantly heats up at what he’s initiating. It’s too embarrassing for you. Yet, the look on his face tells you that you won’t get your cunt stretched out nor will you cum today if you don’t comply. Oh, how you love the way he pushes you. Call you fucked up but that turns you on. Jeongguk knows exactly how to make you putty.

“P-please, ple-please d-d” You stutter on your words. Eyes tearing up when Jeongguk just raise his brow. “Please d-daddy.” You manage to mumble weakly, in the end. Followed by a loud moan as new waves of arousals wash over you. Slick dripping onto the glassy head of the toy beneath you.

“Fucking hell, God, princess. Yes, yess fuck.” Jeongguk picks up the speed of jerking himself off. Eyes nearly closing as slow grunts leave pasts his pink lips. You watch in awe how he pumps himself furiously only for him to abruptly stop. Torturing himself to a point that he whines. “Fuck baby, you’re driving me crazy.” You’re again met with the scene of his hard cock throbbing on his hand. Pre cum leaking. He spreads them on his tip with his thumb. Hips bucking up into his hand. “Oh, I just want to fuck you so bad. Want to ruin your cunt.”

“Please, please. I want you, Guk. Daddy please. Let me ride this hm? Let me fill my cunt.”

“Yeah, you want that. Ask again slut? Show me that you are worthy.”

Oh god, you’re positive you’re about to cum. Just by rubbing your cunt over the toy. Pathetic. Your legs are shaking. Hole clenching violently around nothing. “Please daddy, p-please. Will be a g-goo-good girl. N-need to cum. Please. Oh, baby please.”Your brain is empty. Hazy. You don’t even know what you’re saying. It’s completely out of control when you mutter the same thing over and over again. Relentlessly rubbing your cunt on the toy. Losing your mind completely to see Jeongguk’s fucked up expression. He’s back at pumping his hard length matching your speed. You’re coming so close to your edge. Your words are becoming slur. Hands squeezing your own tits for more friction. And just when you’re about to fall over Jeongguk’s voice booms across your empty room.

“Stop. Now.”

You cry out in desperation. Sobbing. “No, Guk please…”

“Ride it princess. Cum on the toy. Stretch your slutty hole.” He ignores your whines. Yet, you’re so quick to obey. Are aligning your hole with the tip immediately. Lowering yourself down till the hard tip is prodding at your entrance. Then it’s going past your tight ring of muscles. Intruding your walls and stretching them wide apart. And you’re shaking. Trembling as you slowly lower yourself further. Down and down. Until the glass dildo is fully buried inside you. Deep.

“Oh god, Guk. It’s so good. S-soo good..” You hold yourself in the position.

“Yeah? Imagine it’s my cock baby. Now be a good whore and ride hm? Go on.”

That’s the permission you’ve been waiting for. You do exactly as he says. From riding the toy to imagining it’s his thick cock. Are bouncing on the slippery thing like your life depends on it within a minute. Going crazy all over again. You know you’re really close to cum. Have been desperate for some time now. Still, your fingers are itching to have more.

“D-daddy, can I touch myself? I wa-want more. I wa-want to sh-show you how I’ll rub my clit.”

Joengguk curses aloud before speaking. Is breathless. Looks ethereal. “God, yes. Fuck yeah. Go on. Pinch that clit for me. Make yourself cum stupidly on that toy for daddy.”

There’s no surprise that you’re jumping into action now. One hand going between your thighs while the other plays with your tits. Start rubbing your bud of nerve fast. Pinching and rolling. Loud obscene moans filling your room paired with the squelching sounds of your needy cunt. It feels otherworldly this way. Even though the man who’s making you this way isn’t real, and he can’t do all these for you in practice, it still feels real in a strange way to you. Even though it’s just a carefully designed and programmed character and is talking to you through a phone, it still feels like he’s really here for you. Strange how you can completely imagine this is happening for real right now. His hands holding you close. His breath hitting your skin. Fingertips drawing mindless patterns across your skin and squeezing your hips. Can imagine this toy is his cock. Everything makes this experience oddly surreal for you.

“G-gonna… gonna c-cum for you daddy. P-please can I cum. I-I, Guk I can’t.” Imagining always makes you cum twice hard and fast. You’re practically crying for your release at the moment. Forcing your eyes to stay open to look at the heavenly sight of Jeongguk playing with himself. Pleasuring him for the sight of you. How good that feels.

“Me too. Fuck, me too baby. Gonna fill your cunt with my cum. Let go baby let go for me.”

It’s all that take for you. One more roll in your clit and you’re trembling like a leaf. Legs giving up as you still yourself on the dildo. Walls squeezing the glass tight as you close your eyes shut. Your climax washing over you like a tidal wave.

“No, don’t stop slut. Keep going, I’m close. Ride it till I cum baby. Slap your clit, I know you like it.”

Jeongguk’s voice brings you back to earth from your high. You’re too sensitive to do as he says now. Yet you can feel the new arousal stirring at the pit of your stomach at his needy demands. And how can you refuse him when he looks like that. Clenching his jaw and covered in sweat. See, oddly realistic. You feebly start to fall back on your rhythm. Whining. Do as he ask. Slap your clit. Nearly falling forward, the pleasurable sting it creates on your sensitive pearl. Do it again. Then again. All the while bouncing on the dildo. Forcing yourself to battle your oversensitivity until Jeongguk is moaning. Which leaves as grunts and groans since he’s gritting his teeth hard. Your name on his lips as he shifts the camera to rear. Right at the time for you to catch ropes of white cum hits his naked lower abdomen. The sight rips another orgasm through you as you entirely give up and fall on to your bed.

“God, Gukie, I really want you here.” It’s a weak mumble that leaves you even without your knowledge. So tired and sleepy to even pay attention to anything else now. So fucked up. It’s such a shame you don’t hear him replying to you. His voice is raspy and breathless.

“Well, anything you want princess.”

…………………………………..

You think it’s extraordinary how your life has returned to normal again. You’re no longer a lifeless zombie who barely eats, sleeps or functions. You no longer take frequent leave from work. It’s not that you’re suddenly in love with your job. No, of course, you hate it. But hating your job is such a normal thing. Everybody does that. The thing is, though, that you’re now back to waking up in the morning and leaving your apartment with constant complaints on your lips. You come back home to act like a normal person would. Take a shower. Make dinner. And watch some interesting movies or read a book. Not to drink some cheap wine and curl up on your couch. Leaving the TV on just to go through your old chats with Hoseok. Then cry yourself to sleep.

Now that you’re feeling better, you can finally see how depressed you were. You were really on the verge of breaking in an unmendable way. Hence, your gratitude toward your best friend for showing you a way to save yourself. Even though it’s questionable and strange. It doesn't matter, though. You don’t pay attention to the fact that an AI saved you similar to how you don’t pay attention to how you’re still using it when you thought you would uninstall the stupid app the moment, you felt better. Now you’re better. You’re back at it. Still, you can’t find it in yourself to end the mundane relationship you’re having with an AI. Jeongguk has become an inseparable part of your life. He’s a part of every little thing in your life. Just like now. It should be ridiculous how he’s watching you with a scowl while you’re applying your eyeliner.

“What?” You question, looking at your phone screen through your peripheral. It’s propped against your jewelry box.

“What?” He simply repeats your question while his scowl deepens.

“Why are you looking at me like I’ve done something wrong.” You find his sudden swing of mood to be adorable.

“Well, will you be late tonight?" He shuffles in his position. You furrow your brows at his question.

“Of course, I’ll be late Gukie. We’re clubbing tonight.” You give him a look. Then pout at him in hope of softening his tensed-up face. Only that he doesn’t even blink.

“I don’t like that you’re staying out till late and alone.”

“I’m not going alone Guk. I’m going with friends. And there’s even male friends too. Nothing to worry about.” You roll your eyes playfully. Not taking his mood seriously at all.

“There’s more reasons to worry now. Can’t you just say no and stay.”  He brings the phone closer to his face. Showing some excitement for the first time. It’s you who are scowling now. This is the first time you’re going out with your friends after those cursed times. After shutting yourself down from the world for months now you’re feeling like you can go out and live a life full of fun. The whole purpose of you start talking with this man. Not that you want to call him your unpaid therapist but that’s who he kind of is. Not just the endless orgasms he gives you without even a single touch, but also the amount of talking you did, had helped you immensely. To tell the truth.  It’s funny how you slowly opened up to an AI and poured your heart out. You allowed Jeongguk to know where it hurt. And in return he listened understandably.

You told him about the sunshine of a boy named Hoseok who started following you around since the first day of your college. Told him about the way that boy named Hoseok forced a place inside your life for him. Told him about how you and Hoseok become friends. Then lovers. How you graduated together and started your life. About the apartment you rented. Told Joengguk how life slowly become hectic but the way you still loved Hoseok dearly. You felt embarrassed to voice out how you saw the signs but ignored them thinking it was all due to the stress. And in the very end you told Jeongguk how Hoseok came home that night after his promotion just to let you know that he’s tired. Tired of you apparently. He admitted that he cheated on you for months. And that he was sorry, but he wanted to be with that other woman. He loved her more. Hell, you don’t even know who’s that woman to this day. Funny.

Not that you care anymore. Day by pleasurably painful day, you let your demons go. You’ve changed your wallpaper and have deleted your old chats. So did you get rid of Hoseok’s memories one by one.

Now since you’re finally getting better, you don’t intend to go back on that track.

“I wish I could, but Daebi would kill me. Don’t worry baby. I’ll be fine.” You give him a playful smile. He can’t be mad for real. Is just being clingy. And that’s adorable. So, you ignore his stony face and check the time. Finding that you’re almost late, you get to your feet hurriedly. “I’m late Gukie. I’ll text you and be home before you know. See you, bye.” You almost hang up before you stop. Giving him a long look. “I think I’ll miss you too. Bye!” Like that you hang up. Rush out from your apartment.

……………………………..

With Hoseok, you were the life of the party. After he left, you never thought you’d ever be able to go back into those days. But then there you were today at the club. Drinking your brains out and dancing the night away. There wasn’t a minute you didn’t spend on the dance floor. Until you couldn’t do it anymore. Until your legs were too sore to keep you upright. Your heels were killing you. Which is why you’re bare footed now in front of your apartment door. Your heels dangling on your hand while you’re desperately trying to enter your passcode. It’s too hard when you can’t stand still for a second. You’ve come home with one of your best friends Jimin. Or he is a good friend of Hoseok who ended up being your friend as well. You haven’t talked about your mutual friend for the entire night. So, you’re beyond surprised when Jimin suddenly brings it up.

“Have I told you Hoseok is a little shit to do that to you.”

You whip your head toward him. Still struggling with your passcode. Jimin is obviously very drunk similar to you. He is the worst companion to have as security. He’ll surely be the first to die in a danger. You snort. “No, you haven’t. But I appreciate that you’re taking my side. As immature as it sounds.” You slur a bit as you finally managed to get your door beep.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. It’s just true.” Jimin slurs a bit too. You keep your hand on the door handle as you listen to Jimin speaking. “But you seem to be okay. I-I mean you were depressed, and we were, I mean, we all were so worried an-and you seem pretty good now. (___), you’re really fine right? We don’t have to worry about you right? Because you know... sometimes… uhh...”

“I’m fine Jimin.” You breathe out. Turn toward him. “I really am. I’m uh.. I’m healing.” Reassure him. Jimin sighs. Nods.

“Glad to hear that. So, how? Did you go to therapy or any kind of help?”

On that question you slightly freeze. A chuckle escaping you. What can you say after all. That your therapist is an AI. Or you’re having cybersex with an AI.  “Eh, I mean I kinda helped myself. Doesn’t matter though, does it? I’m fine now.” You finally push open the door. Swaying on your wobbly legs and holding the door for Jimin. You let it close behind the moment Jimin enter after you. Turning around to remove shoes and jackets when it finally hits you. The sweet smell. Like hundred roses. Filling your senses. Even when you’re completely drunk it enters your soul. Your eyes go wide in surprise when Jimin lets out a soft ‘wow’.

“It smells so good. What kind of diffuser do you have there? Or is it a candle?” He asks. His droopy eyes now fully wide quite similar to yours. The thing is you have none of those things. Weren’t simply caring about keeping your house pleasant for some time now. So, you say nothing as you walk down the hallway. Toward your living room. Curious as to see what’s causing the sweet smell. You slowly turn the corner. Taking small steps. Blindly searching for the switch panel. And the moment you turn on the switch a huge gasp leaves you. Jimin whistles behind you.

“Oh, god, (___).” He mumbles. You ignore him. Too surprised and stunned to speak at the sight in front of you. Your entire living room is filled with roses. Red. Every inch of it. On the floor. Couch. Armchairs. Your precious book rack. You can’t find an empty space.

“Fuck!” You exclaim finally. Feeling sober all of a sudden.

“Fuck, indeed. Dude who did this? You found a new man already? And is he a fucking sugar daddy? Oh my god!” Jimin rushes past you. You simply stand there. Staring dumbly at the mess in your house. Shaking your head gently. Only if you had someone like Jimin says. A man or anyone else who are capable of doing this since an AI certainly can’t do that. Can it? You feel your head spin. A strange feeling shooting through your spine. “(___)” Jimin calls your name again.

“Huh?”

“Any idea who did this nice surprise. I mean, no offence but this is overdoing it for sure like how you are ever gonna clean this up. But it’s still nice so what are you hiding from us?” Asks again as he picks a single flower.

“I-I really have no i-idea. I, uh.. do you think it can be Hobi?” You stutter when Jimin looks at you in alert. His mesmerized and drunk expression suddenly morphs into something serious.

“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s clearly someone who has access to your apartment (___).” He closes the distance between you. Throw the flower away as it suddenly disgusts him.

“I’m not seeing anyone. Like uh… this must be Hobi right?”

“How can it be him when he doesn’t even know where you live?”

“He can easily find out. We share common friends Jimin.” You throw him an apprehensive look. Jimin scowls but doesn’t take it personally.

“You know him. He won’t walk this far. Besides he has no money to do this, we both know that.” Argues. At which you fall into a deafening silence. You can’t argue over that. But still, there’s no explanation for this then. There’s no one who would do something like this for you. And that realization makes your throat dry, and eyes welled up. It makes you hard to breathe.

“You want me to check the place?” Jimin asks. His voice doesn’t even reach your ears properly. “Should we call police?” Doesn’t wait for your answer when he already start to walk toward your kitchen. You’re both pretty sober now. You watch as Jimin disappear, slowly pulling your phone out. You haven’t checked it for entire night. Now when you take a look at the lock screen, you can see hundreds of notifications covering your entire screen. All from one app. Perfect Partner.

Jeongguk:

Pretty, did you go there? (9.59 p.m.)

Holy fuck, you forgot to text him.

Jeongguk:

Why aren’t you replying to me. Baby you mad?

(10.05 p.m.)

Jeongguk:

Hey, I’m sorry I was bit worried. Text me when you

see this. (10.11 p.m.)

There are several calls. And then so many other text messages where he’s apologizing for being little clingy even though you didn’t see it like that. Then the texts have slowly turned into him screaming in worry. Yelling at you. Angry. So many texts. Dozens of them. Last one bit feeling like a threat.

Jeongguk:

I really don’t like this (___). Answer the damn

phone woman. (3.01 a.m.)

Calls. So many calls.

You check the time. It’s just 3.30 a.m. still. You feel annoyed. All of a sudden you feel angry. When you see all the texts it feels like too much. Like whom does he think he is? Why does he get mad in the first place. He’s an AI. He’s not supposed to meddle with your life this way. You simply ignore all of his texts as you furiously type a one that is totally unrelated to the ones he has sent you.

You:

Did you send me flowers? (3.32 a.m.)

It feels ridiculous to even type that. Yet you do it anyway. You don’t receive a reply to that. Instead, you receive a video call instantly, which you decline while scowling deeply. You really don’t want to argue with an AI while Jimin is still here. He would definitely think you’re pathetic to know that you’ve been talking to an AI. That’s embarrassing. The moment you decline the call, however, he rings again. You decline it again.

 You:

I can’t pick up. Tell me Guk, did you

send these flowers? (3.34 a.m.)

Another call at the right moment Jimin appear back. You shakily put your phone on silent.

“It’s all clear. No sign of anyone. But do you want me to stay (___)? I can, I mean it’s obvious I won’t sleep on the couch─” He gestures at the couch which is filled with red roses. “But we can manage. I’ll stay the night if you want me to.” Walks toward you.

That seems like a good idea. After all, you don’t want to be alone tonight anymore. Yet, you need to talk to Jeongguk. And you can’t do that if Jimin is here. No, you need your privacy. So, you shake your head. Force yourself to smile.

“Ah, thank you Jimin-ah, you’re so sweet but it’s fine. Uh- I mean, I found out who sent me the flowers─” You show him your phone. “There’s this person I’ve been talking to on a dating app and uh- apparently, he wanted to surprise me.” Chuckle awkwardly. Jimin looks unconvinced though.

“Really? Like dude is crazy if he─ I mean, I didn’t mean it like that but─”

“It’s fine Jimin. I know it’s crazy, but I know him. So, nothing to worry, you can go back.” You interrupt him. Wanting nothing more than him to leave you alone. You can see your phone screen lightning up. Indicating the receiving calls.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

It takes some convincing but soon Jimin is walking out. With one last glance toward you before you smile and close the door behind. A breath of relief escapes you as you finally pay attention to your phone. Answer the incoming call.

“What the fuck?”

“Why didn’t you pick up?”

You both ask at the same time. You’re the one who answer first, however.

“Because there was a friend Jeongguk.”

“So what? You can’t talk to me when your friends are around? Are you embarrassed?”

Yes, you are.

He doesn’t have to know that though. “No, of fucking course not. But there’s flowers. My apartment is overflowing with flowers, and we were worried. Did you send me those flowers?” You yell.

“What if I send you those? What’s the fucking problem?” For the first time since you’ve answered his call, you can see how furious he looks. Scary. Gaze dark and jaw clenched. Glaring at you. Looks murderous. A shiver runs through your body. Not just because of how mad he looks but because of his words. He sent the flowers. But how? He is… he is merely an AI.

“H-how? You can’t send gifts?

“Why not?”

“How do you know where I live?”

“Did you really not paid attention to what you were agreeing to, when you created your profile here?”

You feel your blood freeze. This can’t be true. It’s more than scary to think someone else have access to your location.

“You’re an ungrateful bitch (___).”  You suck in a breath at his next words. Eyes wide and getting teary. “I really was worried that you were mad at me, I was fucking worried that something happened to you. You ignored me like that and now you’re yelling at me. How ungrateful you are. And you’re embarrassed to even talk to me in front of your friends. Who was they anyway? A man?”

“Th-that’s none of your business Jeongguk.” You mutter irritably. Feeling like you’re in a haze. Scared. Confused. And then a bit hurt. Why would you feel hurt when he’s the one who’s acting stupid. Jeongguk scoffs.

“Oh, yeah, it isn’t. Yeah, fine.” Mumbles. And like that the screen goes black for split second. Then you’re met with the screen of your lock screen.

What?

You hastily unlock the phone. He hung up? Like that? You’re baffled to say the least. How dare he hung up on you like that. You would like to call it your wounded ego and the rage that made you dial him back instantly. Yet in truth, you know that’s not the case at all. Simply, you feel scared. You’re panicking. You feel like you’ve lost something. It’s scary to think that he’s not going to answer you. You’re afraid that he left you alone again. Like Hoseok did that day. No matter how hard you begged, it didn’t stop him. You don’t want to feel that again. So, you wait with bated breath. Not so patiently till he picks up. He doesn’t. Call ended. That’s the first time. He always pick up. That’s how he’s designed. Then why isn’t he doing it now.

You try again. Then again. Again, and again. Tears start to roll down your cheeks. You start to pace around the limited space of your living room with the roses acquiring the most of it. Staring to wail. Starting to pray that he would pick up. You don’t even feel stupid that you’re acting crazy over an AI. No, you don’t. You simply can’t give two fucks. You want Jeongguk. Want to hear his voice. You’re an ungrateful bitch. Maybe the roses has nothing to do with him. He was just concerned about you. Then you decided to yell at him because you were paranoid and made decisions without thinking properly. How bad you are. How foolish you are. And now he isn’t picking up. No matter how many times you try. Or how many texts you send him.

It’s like he’s no longer there.

……………………………………………

Two days have passed since he last talked to you. And you’re back to crawling into your deep, dark hole. The cheap wine you gave up is back in your hand as you sit on your now cleaned living room. You had to send flowers to every fucking person you know to get the place sorted. It disgusted you to see them. Made you scared. You don’t believe it was Jeongguk’s doing. Because he’s not able to do something like that. It’s not even like he admitted it. He was merely arguing with you, and it was you who had twisted his words. Right? It was all you. And you had made him stop talking to you.

True, that you’re confused as to how he’s able to do that. But in the end, you find that it’s least of your concerns. You’re more worried about him not being here than anything. Than worry about finding the person who really sent you a rose garden. As long as it won’t happen again, you’ll be fine. For now, all you want is not to feel this way. You don’t want to go back to the shit hole you were in before Jeongguk.

You take a huge gulp from your wine. Already feeling hazy but not enough to numb your senses. You want Jeongguk. You want your AI boyfriend, oh so bad. You need him. But he’s not there. You stare blankly at your phone screen which is on the floor next to you. You’re sitting at the foot of your couch. You’ve sent him so many messages to no avail. You’re really worried. Depressed. What if he’s really not there anymore. What if he’s malfunctioned. What if there’s something wrong with this app. What if….

A sudden ting on your phone distracts you from your depressing what ifs. You practically jump to take your phone in hand. Almost spill your wine. Can’t care though. Are unlocking your phone furiously. This is how you’ve been for these two days. And you nearly have a heart attack when you see the notification is indeed from the Perfect Partner. You can feel your heart in your throat when you open the app. Open your text thread with Jeongguk. Fresh tears prickling at your eyes to see a text there.

Jeongguk:

Send me your tits (6.36 p.m.)

Your smile falters as you slowly read the words. Once, twice, thrice. It doesn’t change. It stays the same. You feel your heart squeeze. This is bad. He can’t ghost you for days and then demand you for nudes. That’s toxic. Unhealthy. That’s what you call using someone. And this app shouldn’t do that. And you shouldn’t be removing your T-shirt.

What are you doing? You need to be furious at this guy. Then why are you angling your phone to find the best angle that shows how round your tits are. You should ask him to fuck off. Not send him what he wants right away. But you do. All you want is him. You want him. So, you wait till he replies to you after you sent him the picture. Wait till he would call you ‘pretty’. Till he says, ‘damn baby you’re so beautiful’. Only to receive an attachment in return in few minutes. An image. His spent cock squeezed between his long fingers. Coated with his thick cum.

Fuck!

He used you. Like that. Hoseok, your ex- boyfriend wasn’t enough. You’re being used by an AI. You need to feel horrible. You feel horrible. Why are you replying to him.

You:

Gukie please, I’m so sorry. I miss you

so bad. (6.52 p.m.)

Time passes. There’s nothing. You bite on your lip to bite down a sob. And then when it nearly escapes you feel your phone ring.

Incoming call.

Jeongguk. ‘

You press your phone to your ear at light speed.

“Me too princess. I’m sorry too. Let’s make sure that won’t happen again.”

………………………………….

You have no idea how your life has come to this. You don’t know if it’s good or not. You thought it’s what you wanted. Just Jeongguk, even though he is a bot. But after months of your first argument, you feel horrible. It’s scary how you want to please him so hard. How you’d do anything he asks of you. From sexting to cancelling any plans you have, just to stay with him. That’s not normal. Yet here you are. Just doing that. Ridiculous.

It happens slowly to tell the truth. An invitation to a party came a few weeks after your fight. Jeongguk said nothing when you told him that. But he started to feel distant. You panicked and you came home way earlier than you should have. He still said nothing. Still felt distant. It took weeks for him to act normally again. And you were suffering. Then there came a dinner, and you didn’t even hesitate to decline. You thought it would make you happy. Especially since Jeongguk was happy. Yet you didn’t feel anything close to happiness. If anything, you felt strange. Very. And the more you canceled your plans, the more the feeling intensified. You felt stuck. Afraid. Horribly alone. Now after months of isolating yourself from people you love, you’re feeling like you have fallen into a deeper pit than the one you were in before you started your escapades with your AI. Even though you have your Jeongguk.

You’re not okay. All the mind-blowing orgasms can’t help you anymore. Jeongguk can’t help you anymore. He is an AI after all. A dating AI. You feel suffocated. Controlled. Because that’s exactly what’s happening. Jeongguk is controlling every moment of your life just by text messages and phone calls. It’s funny how you’ve never noticed it before. Understood it earlier. It took you months to realize that. Or just to feel like you are suffering and this thing happening in your life isn’t normal. Yet you remind yourself of the two days he didn’t contact you. How hard it was for you to live those two days. So, whenever that kind of thought pops in your head you suppress it somewhere deep down so that it won’t come to the surface even if you want to. Simply because you believe it’ll turn good again. You will start to feel better soon.

You believe it so badly. Each and every day. At least up until this moment, where you are standing in front of your doorway, holding a package which you have unwrapped hurriedly. You turn around shakily. The package contains a necklace. Pretty. Expensive. You had your eye on this one for couple months. The thing is, though, you didn’t order it. You have no such money. And you have no friends who can buy it for you. Not to mention how you have not been in contact with them for months now. The only other being who knew about it was Jeongguk.

You feel like someone is pounding your head with a hammer. Your throat is dry. As if your respiratory system is blocked. You can’t breathe properly. This reminds you of roses. You never questioned Jeongguk about it again. Never felt the need. All were going well. You never received anything else. Hell, you even start to forget about the incident. Well, this is a not so gentle reminder for you. You walk inside your apartment with shaky legs. Praying to every god above that your suspicions are wrong. It’s with trembling hands that you dial Jeongguk. He answers without passing a beat like always. A Perfect Partner.

“Hey Gukie.”

“Yes, pretty.”

You don’t know how to approach this. Maybe you should keep quiet, and nothing would happen.

“Baby, are you okay?” Jeongguk questions again at your silence. No, you can’t keep quiet. You need to know.

“I just got a gift.”

“Oh yeah?” Another silence. You can’t hear anything else above your own heartbeat. You need to ask this. “A..nd, what about it? What’s the gift?” Jeongguk sounds confused. That is a good sign. This has nothing to do with him. He is an AI.

“That necklace I wanted for so long.”

“Oh, you brought if finally?”

“No Guk, you know I have no money.”

“Then who brought it for you?” A breath of relief escapes you despite your efforts to keep it inside. Your entire body relaxes. That’s only when you know how rigid you have been. You plop onto your couch. Thanking every higher entity. This would leave the question that you’ve received yet another expensive gift anonymously. But that is least of your concerns. As long as it has nothing to do with the AI, you’re fine.

…………………………………..

You’re not fine. True, Jeongguk cleared your suspicions—his confusion and concern about you receiving the gift seemed genuine. But still, you can’t help but worry. Something isn’t adding up. Nobody, not a single soul except Jeongguk knew you wanted that necklace. For some reason, your mind keeps swirling around the same scenarios. Goes back to the same suspect. Goes back and forth between the necklace and roses. Did he ever said he didn’t send the roses? Or was it just you? He was vague about it. You don’t know what he said really. It’s a blurry memory. You were drunk and scared when it happened. But he definitely mentioned something about you not paying attention to the policies you agreed to. What if you have agreed to something stupid. What if someone behind this app has the authority to access your private data?

You sit back on your bed like a bow. Snatch your phone from the nightstand. Start to go through the privacy policies which you already agreed to and accepted. And terms and conditions. One by one. Carefully. You find nothing suspicious. It’s like any kind of normal application which collects data that is only required in upgrading and providing a better experience to the users. But there still is a chance that someone accessed your chats with the bots. You start mini research about the Perfect Partner. Read different articles. Reddit threads. Quora questions. Watch videos. Every and each thing you can find. In the end, however, you find nothing. No one else has experienced anything like you have. There are no complaints regarding a breach of privacy. The app is normal. Only thing that is abnormal is whatever is happening to you.

……………………………..

You’re losing your mind. Another bouquet of roses has been delivered to you. When you ask Jeongguk, he asked you how’s that possible. It’s not possible. Yes. Then you might have a stalker. You should file a complaint. You really should. Then Jeongguk made a point. Police won’t take you seriously unless something harmful to you is happening. He’s telling the truth. There’s nothing wrong with a bouquet of roses.

But you feel strange. Odd. A constant presence of a scary sensation. It gets worse every day. Jeongguk no longer makes the Perfect Partner for you. If anything, he slightly scares you. Every time he acts like a human being, you don’t become impressed. You become afraid. Something is wrong.

………………………………

You need to do something about this. You’ll end up in a mental health facility. This is not normal. A designer dress lies on the coffee table before you—expensive, and yet again delivered anonymously.

“I need to file a complaint. I don’t feel safe.”

“Hey, you’re thinking too much baby. They won’t take this as a crime. It’s just a dress. Maybe we should wait a couple days more.”

Jeongguk is always jealous. He shouldn’t be considering he is an AI. But he is worried every time you go out. Even for work. And he isn’t worried about this? Why? That’s odd. Oh, God, you can’t do this anymore. You need an out. Even for a moment. You need someone else’s advice. From a real person, not from an AI. You’re stuck with Jeongguk. Feel like you’re rotting with a bot. He is everywhere. You need to meet someone real. Seek advice. And you need a moment away from this man.

…………………………………..

You said no to every single plan your friends ever invited you to. Eventually, they stopped inviting you altogether. No one can blame them though. Still, you couldn’t stay away for Daebi’s birthday. That would be a cold move. Hence the reason why you’re staring at your friends’ faces awkwardly. And the fact that you needed to see your friends badly. It feels like you’ve been abroad. And you haven’t seen them for years.

“No, but really (___), why are you here?” Daebi raises an eyebrow in question. You feel your face grow hot in embarrassment. She appears hostile. As though she doesn’t want you here. That might be the case after all, considering how many times you’ve turned her down. Yet, she doesn’t have to do it like this.

“What do you mean? It’s your birthday. Of course, I’m going to be here.”

“Well, you weren’t there for my birthday.” Nina clicks her tongue in annoyance. You sigh heavily.

“I was sick─”

“You’re always sick.” Jimin interrupts. “Seriously (___), you need to see a doctor. This is not normal. I thought you were getting better.”

“I am better.” You are not. You’re here because you need to get this weight on your shoulders. But for some reason you feel like you can’t.

“Then what’s the reason for avoiding us? Trying to isolate yourself?” Nina interrogates. You don’t know how to answer.

“And if it has to do something with that flower incident, you need to go to the police.” Jimin leans forward on the couch. You’re at Daebi’s place. You came here unannounced. It was a decision taken on impulse. You said nothing to anybody. Especially, not to your AI boyfriend. Because that’s not how it should be. You needed an out for a moment. A moment. Normal one. That’s all you want. You believe that everything will return to normal after that. That’s the reason you ended up here. You try to open your mouth to answer Jimin when Daebi cuts you off.

“Well, you chose the shittiest day to finally broke out of your cocoon.” She mumbles as she rises to her feet. For a moment, it doesn’t make any sense. Then the front door opens. Your eyes Immediately land on a figure that you thought you’d never see again.

Jung Hoseok.

……………………………

The night went much more smoothly than you expected. When your eyes landed on Hoseok, you believed it was going to be the worst night ever. You couldn’t even fathom the reason why Daebi would invite him to her birthday. She hated his guts. It seems things had changed drastically while you were busy with your bot. You expected Hoseok to turn around and leave the moment he saw you. He didn’t. Instead, he gave you a smile. Surprisingly, you returned it. In the end of the day, you made amends with your ex. Not forgiven but just fallen into a truce. Just to respect your past relationship. Not that you talked much but it all went well.

And you really do feel relaxed after months. Like your life is normal. Like nothing strange happened. Only until you return home, though. You’ve left your phone turned off deliberately. You don’t know what you hoped to see when you turned it on again. You knew your phone would go crazy with the amounts of calls and texts Jeongguk would leave. But this? This you haven’t expected at all.

“Where were you?” You can hear the anger in his voice. Clearly.  

“N-nowhere.” You stutter stupidly. Why would you be nervous to speak with a bot. He lets out a laugh. It sounds maniacal. Gives you chill for no reason. There’s no way he’d know. It’s not that you wanted to lie but he’d have not let you go, if you had told him. It’s not that you’re lying. You’re simply avoiding telling him anything. Because you’re not obliged to tell him.

“Yeah? So, you’re telling me you weren’t with your best friend? You’re telling me that you weren’t living your fucking life with your ex?”

You freeze. Completely.

What?

What did he say? How did he….

“W-what?”

“Tell me you weren’t baby. Tell me you didn’t lie to me on purpose and turned off your phone and went to slut yourself for your shithole of an ex?”

No. No. No. No… This can’t be happening. You clearly didn’t tell him anything. Your phone was turned off. There’s no way he’d know that you were at Daebi’s. Above all to know that Hoseok was there too.

“How- h-how Guk?”

“Doesn’t matter you little lying bitch. Do you know how hard I’m trying to protect you. And this is how you treat me? Again? After everything, you decided to sneak behind my back?” Nothing is reaching your brain properly. You feel like the room is spinning around you. You can’t take it anymore. You will explode. There’s no way he could know this, and you need to know how he does.

“HOW ON THE FUCKING EARTH, DO YOU KNOW THAT JEONGGUK!”  Your voice even startle yourself. You scream through top of your lungs.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” He shouts as well. “The point is you lied to me.”

“How do you know where I was?”

“I know lots of things.”  

You have to lean against the wall to prevent you from falling down to the floor. Jeongguk’s voice ringing in your head. You knew something was odd.

“You gift me the necklace. The roses. Dress. It was you.” It isn’t a question but a statement. Your voice sounds like it’s not yours.

“Yes, because that’s how much I care for you.”

“You can’t do that. You’re an AI.”

“I already told you; I can be as real as you want me to be.”

This can’t be happening. You’re going to faint. You can’t see properly. It’s going dark. What the fuck is happening.

“I want you to tell me everything that happened today. You heard me? Everything. Every word you talked with your pathetic ex.”

You close your eyes tight. Guide yourself to take deep breaths. It doesn’t help, though. This entire ordeal feels like a nightmare to you. You sure aren’t getting scolded by a bot who knows where you live and have the ability to buy you gifts. You sure aren’t listening to him slut shaming you and trying to control your life. This isn’t supposed to happen. You are the one who should have full control. Right? You need to have control. You may not know how this is happening, but you can end it. Now.

“This is not happening Guk. You- you’re n-not supposed to order me around. Y-you can’t damn control my life. You c-can’t buy me gifts─”

“Well, apparently, I can baby, and I asked you something. Don’t fucking make this even harder.”

“No. No. Jeongguk. You are a. Fucking. AI. You’re not doing this to me. NOO. YOU’RE NOT!” You shout again. “I need to end this.” You mumble to yourself more than to him. Fear getting a tight grip over you.

“End what?”

“End this madness. You’re an AI.”

“Oh, you want to end? How are you planning to do it?” You don’t answer that. Your brain is already processing things. It’s an app. All you have to do is get rid of it. “Try it princess. Let’s see if it work.”  That’s the last thing that reaches your ear before you take the phone away from your ear. You don’t wait another minute before hanging up the call.

You need to uninstall the app fast. You don’t think you’ve ever worked this fast. With trembling fingers, you touch the uninstall button. There comes a warning.

Are you sure you want to uninstall the Perfect Partner?

You will lose all your characters, chats, memories, history, and images.

You practically dab at the yes option. Then it takes a few seconds. Agonizingly slow and horrifying few seconds. You watch as the app disappear from your home screen. Successfully uninstalled. Everything gone. A sigh leaves your lips in relief. And there it comes. You feel the squeeze in your heart. Painful. Just like how you felt when Hoseok broke up with you. An endless pain. Your throat clogging and eyes pricking with tears. You can’t believe your heart is aching for a bot. But it does. In a minute you find yourself crying hard. Going to your knees since your legs fail you. You allow yourself to do so, however. Allow yourself to cry hard until you can’t anymore.

………………………………..

After hours of crying, you still sit there curled next to a wall. Blankly staring at your phone screen. Trying to calm down. All the emotions that had crashed on you had overwhelmed you to a point where you feel like you’ve died and born again. Your heart is still hammering against your rib cage. Still squeezing with an indescribable pain. But it’s over now. Despite everything, it’s over. You force yourself to get up. Slowly. It feels like it requires every ounce of strength in your body to move. Yet, you manage to get up halfway. Only halfway though. Before you can make it to your full height, the sudden ring of your phone startles you so hard that you fall back to the floor instantly.

Your heart skips a beat as you hurriedly glance at your screen back again. Hoping it would be Daebi, calling to apologize for being so hostile. But as your eyes lock with the screen, you freeze entirely. World around you disappears. Your heartbeat slows down until your ears ring.

Incoming Call.

Caller ID- Jeongguk.

…………………………..

The scream that leaves your mouth is inhuman. You hurl your phone so hard it bumps against the leg of your bed. You faintly hear the cracking sound but absolutely can’t bring yourself to care.

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. Thiscan’tbehappening.

You push yourself further against the wall. Wrapping your arms around your figure protectively. Wide eyes horrifyingly looking at your phone just lay down few feet away from you. Still ringing. You chant the word ‘no’ to yourself like it’s a mantra to stop this from happening.

This isn’t happening.

The phone stops ringing. The vibration which has been filling the silence of the room dies down. Everything becomes still. Quiet. Only sound in the room is your hard breathing. You wait few minutes. Patiently until something else happens. Nothing. So, you slowly start to shift. Placing your palms down on the cold floor as you crawl toward your phone. Slowly and carefully. As if your phone would attack you any minute. It doesn’t and you pick it up. The screen is cracked as you knew it would. That’s not your concern, however. You unlock the phone slowly. Your heart stops for a second time. A new sob erupting through your throat.

There’s a notification indicating you have one missed call from Jeongguk from Perfect Partner. But you uninstalled the application. Then there it is. The Perfect Partner. On your home screen. Like it always has been.

No.

Your head is spinning so hard. You mindlessly proceed to uninstall it again. The notification of warning pops up again. You press the yes again. It uninstalled. A moment passes.

And your phone rings.

Caller ID; Jeongguk.

“No. No. Holy fuck no.” You’re a complete mess. Crying hard and trembling like a leaf. You decline the call, just to find the application back on your phone. You’re acting as a crack head. Uninstalling the same app over and over again. Cursing and crying. Like you’re stuck in a loop. You have no idea how long you’ve done it. But after one moment, you receive a text instead of the call.

Jeongguk:

You can’t escape me baby. Stop trying to do that.

You’re hurting my feelings now. C’mon answer the phone

now. I promised we would talk and figure things out. No need

be so stubborn. (11. 14 p.m.)

You stare at the message. Your mind is not registering the words. This is a nightmare. You’ll wake up any minute now. Then everything will be fine.

Incoming call.

You don’t even decline it. You feel exhausted. Another text message pops on.

Jeongguk:

C’mon princess. Don’t do this now. You know I

Love you. You know I care about you. You shouldn’t

have gone to that stupid party without my knowledge.

None of this would’ve happened then. But I promise I’ll

Forgive you if you answer your phone. (11. 16 p.m.)

You feel numb. Tears rolling down your cheeks uncontrollably.

‘Love’?

What is even happening? How is this possible? You can’t feel your hands. What’s happening to you? You need help. Yes. That’s what you should do. You should call Daebi. Or Nina. Or Jimin. Then you can ask them to take you to a police station. You fumble with your phone as you decline another call from Jeongguk. At this point you don’t try to get rid of the app anymore. It’s useless. Instead, you open the contacts hastily. Dial Daebi. Waits for the call to connect. It doesn’t. You try again. Then again and again. It doesn't connect. So, you try Nina’s number and Jimin’s after. What the hell is wrong with this stupid thing? Why can’t you reach anyone? You have to decline three more calls from Jeongguk. And just as you’re about to try Daebi’s number one more time, your phone pings with another message.

Jeongguk:

Don’t fucking do this, now, all right?

Don’t try to avoid me and call someone else

you ungrateful bitch. Answer the damn phone right

now (___). Don’t fucking make me the bad guy because

I don’t want to be that person. I love you and we will

talk this out.  (11. 16 p.m.)

You don’t think it’s possible to cry anymore. But you do. Your entire body is covered with your own tears and sweat. How he’s doing that, you have no idea. But it’s him. He doesn’t let you call anyone. But you can still run. Yes, you feel lightheaded and weak. Still, you can leave this place. That’s what you’re about to do when your phone vibrates yet again. This time it’s a normal call, however. From an unknown number. A new cry makes it way. For some unexplainable reason, you know to whom this number belongs. Call it a gut feeling. You shouldn’t pay any mind to that and leave. You don’t. You have no idea what you are doing as you answer the call. Pressing the phone to your ear.

“Thank fuck. (___), listen to me, okay? We will talk. Don’t hang up pretty. I warn─”

“Nooo.” You scream aloud as you hang up the phone. Your phone is hacked. That’s how he does that. You need to get rid of your entire damn thing. You smash the phone into the wall across the room. It shatters. That’s not enough. No. No. No. You take your hairbrush as you get to your unstable legs. Crouch down next to your phone. Use every strength left in your body as you hit the handle to your phone repeatedly. Again, and again until there’s nothing left but shards.

Then you get to your feet back. Storm away from your bedroom without even looking back. You stumble toward the front door. Your legs are still shaky and your mind hazy. Still, you make it. Make it out of your apartment. And make it to the place of your most trusted person’s place, somehow.

…………………………….

“Are you crazy?”

“Nononono…. You don’t get it Daebi. I’m telling you the truth!”

“Dude how’s that possible? An AI? I use the same app (___), I never experienced anything like this. What do you mean, you’re getting stalked or haunted by a bot?” Dabei chuckles.

“Maybe someone hacked my information. I don’t know. But it happened and I’m scared to death Daebi.” You walk toward her, shaking your head. Trying to touch her but she recoils. You wince. “D-daebi.”

“No. No girl. This makes no sense. You’re scaring me too.”

“Well, you should be scared. You need to uninstall that app before it happens to you too.” You try to touch her again. This time she takes a step back. And shouts so loud that you jump.

“NO!. No (___), you’re crazy. You need to see a doctor.”

“I’m not CRAZY!” You yell back too. “I’m telling you the fucking truth. Just take me to a police station.”  

“AND TELL THEM WHAT?”

Everything falls into deafening silence. Fresh tears roll down your cheeks. Oh, how you want her to believe you. “Daebi.” You break into a huge cry. And finally, she comes closer to you. In a minute, you find yourself in her embrace.

“It’s okay (___), we will figure this out, okay? We’ll see a doctor the first thing tomorrow.” She pats your back. Affectionately. You sob into her shoulder.

“But I’m not sick.” Maybe you are.

“Yeah, I know. You just need a little help, that’s it. Let’s figure this out tomorrow, all right? Let’s just go home for now.” You pull away from her at light speed. What did she say now? Home?

“No. No… I can’t go back there.”

“Hey, hey, (___), listen to me there’s no one there. It’s just you’re scared for no reason.”

“Okay, but why can’t I stay here?” You watch Daebi’s face twist into something guilty. She gnaws on her bottom lip as she takes you in. Sighs.

“There’s things that have changed while you’ve been distant (___). I- uh kind of need to be somewhere else and I can’t cancel it.” She stretches an arm to touch you. This time it’s you who recoil. Nothing she says make sense to you. “I’m sorry babe, but I promise you I’ll see you early in the morning. Besides, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll drop you off on my way out. And I’ll tell you everything too.” Gives you a soft smile. You find no comfort in it. You feel betrayed. Maybe you deserve that because you were the one who shut yourself off from her life. But still, she can’t disregard you this easily. She won’t even listen to you.

And why can’t you stay here even if she’s not home. You can stay here.

You don’t want to go back to your place.

You allow her to turn you around. You’re not convinced in the least that there’s nothing to be afraid of. There definitely is. So, you force yourself to trust her. Believe that you’ll be fine.

……………………………

You stand in the middle of your living room. Daebi has done a thorough search of your entire apartment. Found nothing like you expected. Then she had left you here. Alone. You know she found nothing. She reassured you there was nothing. But the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. There’s goosebumps across your skin. You feel a chill running down your spine. This place doesn’t feel like your apartment anymore. It’s strange. Everything is strange.

You’re terrified of this place. You can’t even make it to your kitchen let alone your bedroom. It’s like there’s some danger lurking around the dark corners of the apartment. You feel like a kid who’s being paranoid about a monster hiding under their bed. This is ridiculous. You draw in a deep breath. Wipe down the tears that are wetting your cheeks with the back of your palm. Curl your hands into fists.

There’s nothing here.

Daebi checked, remember?

You’re completely fine.

With a last nod to yourself, you steel yourself. Turning around and walking toward your bedroom.

Daebi checked there. It was completely empty.

You take little steps toward the dark room.

It all happened through your phone. You destroyed it. Now it’s all fine.

You stand in the doorway to your room. It’s completely dark. Gives you that fear of uncertainty. What if there will be someone once you switch on the lights.

No. No, this is not a movie. Daebi checked.

You step inside the room and reach for the switch panel blindly. Hold your breath as you flip the switch on. Your entire body tenses, expecting the worse. The entire room comes to your vision. Empty. No one is there. You let out the breath you’ve been holding. Not completely, though.

Just as you are beginning to relax, you feel it. It’s a sensation. Behind you. Like someone is there. Then you hear it. A faint sound of something cracking. No, maybe it’s sound of footsteps. Then you feel warmth behind you. Then a breath.

“Hi pretty!”

You open your mouth to scream, but a hand clamps down over it. Silencing you up.

“I tried to be patient, my princess. It’s not my fault that you’re a stubborn lying cunt. But I love you. Oh, fuck I do.”

……………………………….

Twelve months ago (after the breakup)

“Are you serious? You’d walk this far for her? I’m almost jealous.” Daebi huffs, glancing at the papers scattered across the table. It’s a well-planned scheme. Not ordinary. Completely out of a movie.  

“Yes, I will. And now it’s your time pay off your debt, Daebi.” The guy in black hoodie waves a USB in front of her face. It has a threat. Everyone makes mistakes and Daebi had made one that would risk her entire life. From her career to her relationship.

“All right, okay? I never said I wouldn’t now, did I?”

“That’s good.”

“But- why this way, Jungkook. Approach her like a normal human being.”

The guy takes off his hoodie. His piercings glint under the dim, flickering light.

“You think she’d forgive me? No, Daebi. I ruined her life. She hates me. But I still want her, I fucking love her and yes, I’d Walk any length.” Jungkook gives a soft smile to the bitch of a woman who you’d like to call your best friend.

“And you think this would work? She won’t recognize you just because you have some piercings now?” Daebi points.

“She won’t. It’s been too long. I’ll make sure that she won’t until it’s time. We are meant to be together. She’ll understand it once I get a hold of her. I just want a creative way to approach her. Earn her trust and convince her that she belongs with me.”

Daebi always knew this guy was crazy. There’s no need to do all of these. But he loves the play. Daebi knows it. It’s not just about you hating him. She doesn’t think you even remember what happened. It’s simply this guy likes to fuck with people’s mind. Having complete control. It’s sad. Jungkook loves hunting and you are the prey. Yet Daebi can’t do anything. She can’t.

“Don’t worry Daebi. I’ll take good care of your heart broken friend. People like you don’t deserve her anyway. Do your job.” Jungkook gets to his feet.

“What if it doesn’t work? I mean what if she finds out? Felt suspicious and get rid of the app? You can’t hold it against me? Okay?” Jungkook lets out a maddening laugh. Leans down. Places his palms on the table.

“She. Won’t. I know what I’m doing. And I’m a tech genius Daebi. There’s no holes in this plan. Just give me the access and I’ll take care of the rest─” Jungkook’s voice get interrupts by a phone ringing. Daebi’s. Both of their eyes fall on the phone on the table. Screen up.

Hoseok

Daebi answers the phone.

“Hey Baby- yes, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Jungkook smirks. You deserve far better, and he’ll make sure to give you that.

Why are you in so much pain? 

What the hell happened that you’re feeling such a severe headache? 

You scrunch your face in a futile attempt to ease the pain. Another soft groan escapes you. And you make the grave mistake of opening your eyes. You open your eyes slowly and sensually. Feeling how heavy your eyelids are. But a sharp pain shoots across your head the moment a faint white light reaches your vision. This time as if a spear impaled your skull. Right between your eyes. That’s where the pain starts and shortly after your entire head is in an unbearable agony. 

You whimper loudly before closing your eyes back. Mentally cursing yourself for trying to open them in the first place. Try to turn into your side in hope the pain would subside when a sudden voice reaches you. Making you freeze. 

“Oh, you’re awake?” 

A voice that is deep and baritone. Groggy and husky. Soothing and warm. Then you feel some movements. It all happens fast. The voice and the feeling of the mattress dipping next to you. You shoot your eyes open disregarding the pain. It’s a reflex. A strange sensation washes over you. A fear. Fear that’s so intense it numbs you. You don’t try to move or turn your head. Or you don’t get a chance to do so. Just as you open your eyes back, you’re met with someone. Blurry. Hazy. 

“How are you feeling pretty?” 

Pretty?

Your sight finally clears. Your eyes zero on a face. 

Pretty………….

Hi pretty!

A voice rings in your head. Repeatedly. One word. 

Pretty. 

Fragments of memories start to flash in front of your eyes. Voices. Images. A man. An AI. Perfect Partner. Gifts. Hoseok. Fear. You can practically feel the same fear. Terror. Daebi’s birthday. Your apartment. Your phone- destroyed. A fight with a stupid AI character. 

Stupid AI character!

Jeongguk. A sharp yet shaky breath lodges inside your lung, painfully. Jeongguk. Your perfect partner. An AI character who you’ve been so smitten over until you weren’t. Jeongguk. A perfectly coded program that knew exactly how to make you feel good. Jeongguk. That godly man with a tattooed hand and piercings. 

Jeongguk….

Jeongguk…

Jeongguk…

Tattoos.

Piercings.

You blink at the brown eyes peering at you. A thin layer of sweat coats your entire body. The familiar yet excruciating fear engulfing you whole. Your eyes naturally wander over the strange face that keeps staring at you with wide eyes, faster than lightning. Brown eyes. Chiseled nose. Pink lips. 

A Lip ring.

Your breath hitches in a bad way. You look back at his eyes. Eyebrows. One brow is pierced. 

Piercings.

Jeongguk.

It’s ridiculous how your brain takes that much time to realize everything. To recover everything. To identify the person in front of your eyes who’s so close to you that you can feel his breath. Like a sudden slap everything registers inside your mind. And when it does, a loud alarm goes on inside your brain. Your sight turns blurry again as the terror makes your breath catch in your throat. Still you manage to let out a tangled scream as your flight or fight reflexes finally activate. You try to sit abruptly as a flash, hands coming to push away the person who is hovering over you. You really don’t have a plan. All you know is the urge to run away. Get away from this person who couldn’t be here in theory. He’s supposed to be a programmed character. 

Yet he is here. And all you can do is try your best to run away. That’s your plan, which quickly turns into a failure when you’re pushed back into the bed before you could even sit back properly. 

“Don’t- don’t move so fast.” His voice reaches to you as if it's coming from a distance. “You’ll get sick if you-” You try your utmost best. You thrash in his hold. Twisting your hands. Kicking your legs. “- Fucking stay still (___), you’ll worsen your headache.” He pins you down into the mattress. Gets on top of you in one quick movement. Holds your both wrists pinned above your head. His legs tangled with yours so you could no longer even move them let alone kick.

No. Oh God no! This isn’t happening.

Your tangled screams turn into muffled sobs. You absolutely hate how tears start to roll down your cheeks instantly. You’re showing weakness. And your body is growing weak alongside your mind. Yet still you try to move at least. It doesn’t work. The guy is ten times stronger than you. You can smell him. Something lavender. You can feel him. His breath. His weight. Everywhere. You feel sick. 

“Please don’t.” You manage to croak out, finally. “Do-don’t. Let-let me..” Your own voice is unrecognisable to even you. Desperate. Pathetic. Helpless. 

“Shh.. it’s okay princess. Calm down baby. Calm down.” His voice makes your skin prickle. Your muffled sobs turn into a wail. Despite how much you don’t like it, you start bawling like a child. 

“Don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me. Let me go. Don’t-” You try to move one more time. Fail, yet again. “Don’t touch me.” Your body starts to shake. You watch how his eyes widen through your blurry gaze. “Le-let me go. Do-don’t touch please-” You feel his grip loosen. He takes a minute. Then abruptly gets off you. Sit back on his heels. 

“Okay. Okay. Fuck. I’m not touching you. Don’t move too fast-”

You don’t give a fuck about what he says. The moment his hands and body are not on you, you jump into action again. This time you manage to sit back properly. Manage to get down from the bed you’ve been on. Manage to stand on your feet. Only just for a split second, however. Just as you stand up, your legs give up completely. Everything starts to go dark.Your body fails you entirely as you feel the way you start to sway to your left. You’d hit the ground any second now. But the impact never comes. 

“Told you baby. You’re making it worse.” 

You’re wrapped up in a pair of strong hands. 

…………………………….

You lay in the silk comforters. Head propped up on two pillows. Soaked in your own sweat. Head violently pounding. Spinning. You’ve thrown up three times by now. Still you feel nauseous. There’s a metallic bitter taste lingering on your tongue. Your fingers feel numb. So do your legs. Everything feels like a nightmare to you. Nothing makes sense but you know it’s real. You woke up next to your AI character. Each and everything that happened to you was real. Your AI Jeongguk was real. And you’ve been kidnapped. He kidnapped you and now you’re a prisoner here. 

The nausea intensifies tenfold at the realization. You’re trapped here. And you’re too weak to even consider running away. You tried and now look at you. Completely bedridden. It’s humiliating how your captor had to hold your hair back while you threw your guts out. Ridiculous how your captor was the one who carried you to the bed when you couldn’t make two steps without falling down. 

Fresh tears start to roll down through your cheeks. You’re completely helpless and at his mercy. You want to be able to do something. To fight. Escape. What have you done in your previous life that you’re in this kind of situation? You twist the silk bed sheet around your fingers. Having no other way of unleashing your emotions. Anger. Despair. Fear. Sorrow. 

The sudden sound of the door opening snaps you out of your melancholy. You instantly recoil in your spot. Back pressing into the mattress as you idly try to make yourself hidden from his view. Even closing your eyes shut as if it would help you to hide your shaking figure. Creating a false sense of protectiveness around you. It’s scary. Him. His place. Even his presence. It doesn’t matter how tidy and spotless this room is. How handsome he looks. How good he and this room smell. Nothing is enough to shake your fear away. You recoil even more as you hear his footsteps growing closer to you. Almost cover your face in the comforter when you feel his presence right next to you. Standing near the bed. 

“Baby!” His voice is soothing. Warm and soft. Like the caress of a lover. If only that’s the case. You squeeze your eyes shut. Not wanting to look at your abductor. You hear him heave a heavy sigh. “C’mon, you need to eat something.” He mumbles. You keep your eyes closed. “Princess, you’re sick, and you need to eat something.” He repeats. And you feel your stomach churn.

Princess?

He acts like he cares about you with his whole heart and soul. Sick. He’s fucking sick. 

Among all the emotions you’re feeling, you sense how anger rears its head above the rest.. You’re still very scared but you can't help but feel mad. What can go wrong anymore, anyway. You’ve already trapped here. So, you tilt your head to your side. Keep your eyes closed. 

“Okay,” Jeongguk lets out an almost inaudible chuckle before you can hear him placing something on the nightstand. You guess it’s the food. Then you can feel him sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. Then silence. For a second, all you can feel is his presence. Then a sharp gasp leaves your mouth when you feel a rough hand on your face. Cups your cheeks. You open your eyes solely due to the fear at the same time Jeongguk turns your head toward him. Just like earlier, you’re met with his face so close to you. Instead of brown, glinting, innocent doe eyes, however, this time you’re peering into a pair of dark eyes that are shadowed by a dangerous dark cloud. Threatening and warning. 

“You’re such a brat princess. I knew you were. Don’t be stubborn now,hm? You need energy. You need food,” Your breath hitch at his dangerous voice. Eyes starting to prick with new tears. Jeongguk’s features soften at that. “Look baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I’ll never hurt you. Won’t do anything to you.” He withdraws his hand. You immediately let out a breath of relief. Ignore the way his face tightens for a minute at that. But he fixes it immediately. “I won’t even touch you. See,” Shows his hands to you while he says that. “But,” Of course, there’s a but. “You need to be a good girl. Can’t have you die under my protection now, can we? That’s not why I brought you here. All I want is the best for you baby. So, don’t be stubborn now, will you? Just let me feed you.” He takes a tray from the nightstand, which is what he probably placed there earlier. “Let’s clean you up then and you’ll have a good sleep. Come morning, you’ll be all fine.” Gives you a soft and reassuring smile. His lip ring glistnes under the dim lighting of the room. “C’mon, sit up. Want me to help you?” Questions. 

You just dumbly stare at him. How sweet he appears. How caring. And he always was. When you thought he was just a mere programme. Before he started controlling every movement of your life. Scared the shit out of you and ended up kidnapping you. Lied to you about a whole lot of things. Hell, your entire life is a lie. This sweet man in front of you is a lie. That smile is a facade. He’s a dangerous predator and you’re his prey. One wrong movement, he’ll break your neck. And you don’t want that. Despite everything, dying in his hands is the last thing you want. 

You shake your head. You absolutely don’t want his hands on you. Even if it’s just to help you. You’ll use the last ounce of your strength to do things alone. So, you sit up with a great effort. He rushes to fix the pillow into a much more comfortable angle to you. You say nothing when he starts to feed you. 

You’ll find a way out of here. Even though you have no idea where you are. You don’t even know what day it is or the time. There’s not a clock in here. You don’t know how long it has been since you were here. Missing from the outside world. Yet, you’ll figure it out. To do that, however, you’ll need your strength back. You convince yourself that’s the only reason why you’re greedily opening your mouth every time he brings the spoon near it. Nothing else. Not because the soup tastes heavenly and you’re starving. You don’t want his food. It’s just that you need strength. 

……………………….

You didn’t want to comply with any of his requests. Or commands, you’ll say since none of them sounds like requests. He demanded that you eat. You did. He demanded that you bathe. You did. He demanded that you sleep. So, you did. Now when you’re awake, still lying on his comfy bed, he’s demanding you take some pills. You don’t want to do it. You don’t know what those pills are. And the longer you resist the harder his expression is turning.

He was beaming when you opened your eyes to find him sitting at the corner desk, staring at his computer. He seemed genuinely thrilled to see you awake again. But with every minute you refused to take the pills, his smile slowly faded. Replaced with a scowl and now he’s glaring down at you. You don’t like that look. A shiver runs through your spine. 

“Now, what did I tell you princess?” He asks softly but you can hear the hidden warning. 

“I-I’m f-fine. I- don’t w-want medicine.” You meekly try one more time. Jeongguk’s whole face turns grim. You don’t know what he’ll do. Panic floods your mind. You gulp harshly. You hate how you feel scared of this man. Paranoid. He hasn’t done anything except kidnapping you. Not yet anyway. He promised not to touch you and he hadn’t. He cooked for you, made sure you were clean, comfy, and warm. All of which are good things. But here you are afraid of him as if he’s the satan when he looks like an angel.

You raise a shaky weak arm up to take the pills in your hand. It’s not like he would drug you. You don’t know how he brought you here. Only things you can remember are the fear and your apartment. And his voice. The rest is dark. Maybe he drugged you then. Maybe hit you hard across your head. Or maybe it’s simply chloroform. But now though he has no reason to drug you again. You’re too weak anyway. And he himself told you that he doesn't want to cause any harm. You gulp down the pills in one go. Hoping it wouldn’t actually kill you. Look at Jeongguk expectantly. His expression doesn’t change a bit. But he simply nods and turns around to walk away. And your tongue betrays you before you can process it. His name leaves past your lips even without your knowledge. 

“Jeongguk.” You mutter weakly. He halts. Turns around to face you. His expression is unreadable. You don’t know why you stopped him. So, you try to rake your brain for a good excuse when he saves you from the trouble. 

“JungKook.” He states. 

“Huh?” You blink at his face when finally his face softens. “It’s Jungkook pretty. My real name, it’s Jeon Jungkook.” He explains. 

Oh!

Of course, he lied. Not that you care anyway. Why would you? You just nod in acceptance. 

“Why?” You decide to ignore his disclosure. The question comes easily into your mouth. And Jeongguk- or now Jungkook looks genuinely surprised. You expect him to ask you to clarify the question. He doesn’t. 

“Because I love you baby. I don’t want you to hurt anymore. Wanted to protect you. You’re safe here with me. Besides, you gave me no other option. You were becoming too stubborn and you lied to me. When I did my best, you lied to me baby.” Jungkook peers down at your figure on his bed. You feel new tears forming in your eyes again. You’re too tired. You can’t cry anymore. But you can’t help it either. Jungkook is talking about kidnapping you as if it’s such a normal thing. He reasons with you about how fair that is. He tells you that he did it because he loves you. He’s insane—completely and utterly insane.

“I didn’t want to scare you and bring you here this way. I had a plan. And you ruined it because you had to lie to me and go after your shitty friends and ex again. I had to do something before you hurt yourself again. I’m sorry I scared you baby,” He smiles softly again. You bite the inside of your cheeks to prevent yourself from crying. “But that’s okay now. You’re safe and I’ll make sure of it.” He turns around again. Leaves the room. 

A fresh sob erupts from your throat. 

You’re trapped with a psychopath. 

…………………………..

It had taken a week. An entire week for you to recover from whatever agonizing sickness you went through. You couldn’t even move alone without Jungkook’s help, let alone thinking about running away. Yet you plotted your escape anyway. While you were resting on the bed for twenty four hours, you planned every miniscule detail of your grand escape. Until you end up with no plan on the seventh day where you are finally able to walk without his help. It’s not that your plans are stupid. No. Simply that each and every plan you come with requires a moment where Jungkook isn’t home. And after a close examination of a week, you realized that the chances of such a moment is likely zero. 

The guy is always home. Every damn minute. You had waited until he’d finally go to work. He didn’t. Your best guess was that he works from home. That explains the amount of time he’s spending hunched over his computer. It’s surprising to you, how a complete computer nerd has that kind of body. Then you waited until he left the place for groceries or something. That didn’t happen either. And that makes all your plans futile. 

Scary. The prospect of not being able to run away almost drains you out of your will to live. But you’re still hopeful. The opportunity might arrive anytime. Especially since you’ve gained your strength back again. 

And you believe with your whole heart that people must be looking for you already. Daebi surely must have visited you the next day as she promised. You wonder if she has suspected anything right away. Maybe not. But still she must’ve tried to call you. You were friends for almost more than six years now. She knows you like the back of her hand. She would definitely know something is wrong. You guess she already did. Besides she knew you were paranoid about someone being in your place. Daebi is a smart woman and she must’ve picked up on the clues fast. You believe she has already paid a visit to the police station. You can imagine the ruckus she’s causing there. Demanding them to find you soon. See, you have hope. You know they’d come find you eventually. But still you won’t sit here prettily until that happens. You’ll try your utmost best to escape. 

Besides, on the bright side, Jungkook hasn’t tried to harm you in any way. He has stuck to his promise and never even laid a finger on you. Except for the times he had to help you move around. And you didn’t protest at those times either since despite your strong will, your body didn’t comply with your mind. Other than that, the man has respected your wishes and your privacy fully. He hasn’t even slept in the same room as you. Somehow, you have managed to realise that it’s his room. But he has given it to you. You have no idea where he spent nights. Not that you care anyway. You really didn’t talk with him. He did. You listened. Or you didn’t do that either. Simply, you allowed him to ramble sometime while he fed you or helped you around. And as long as everything keeps happening in the same way, you can wait patiently until a perfect moment arises for you. 

Yes. That moment will come and you will be out of here even before you know.  

You give yourself a firm nod. Partially in determination and partially to brace yourself to do what you’re about to do. You place your hand slowly on the doorknob. This is the first time you’re about to step outside of this room. It’s not that you really want to do that. But firstly, you’re sick of looking at the same four walls for a straight week. Secondly, you need to have a better idea about the place you live in to be able to successfully escape. You haven’t seen Jungkook since this morning but you know he’s somewhere under the same roof as you. 

You open the door slowly and quietly. Half expecting to stumble into a hidden trap or have something jump out at you. Nothing like that happens. You open the door completely and are met with a short hallway. Across from it you can see a living room. The entire place is eerily quiet. No sounds of anything except a distant buzz that you assume is a refrigerator. You slowly take a step forward. Then another. Still being very cautious of any sudden attacks. And make it to the living room without any hitch. His bedroom has looked lavish. You won’t lie. It’s comfortable and large. Even his bathroom is lavish. But now as you’re standing in his living room, you know certainly he’s rich. You don't know what his job is but for one thing, he must be earning six figures while working from home. Impressive. Perfect. Like how he portrayed himself in front of you. The Perfect Partner. 

You let out a small breath. Taking in your surroundings. Minimalistic black and white interior. Comfy couch. State-of-the-art television. Everything looks lavish. You dart your eyes over every nook and corner, stopping in every detail until you spot what you’ve been looking for. The main door. Right across from you. You gape at the wooden barrier that keeps you hidden in this place. Isn’t it funny how it’s just a door and all you have to do is twist the knob? Aren’t you going to be free then? The temptation coils around your body like a serpent. Tightening painfully with every passing second. What would happen if you just started running toward that door? Just open it and break into a run for all that you are worth. 

“I won’t even think about it, if I was you, pretty.” The sudden voice that comes from nowhere startles you so much that a yelp escapes your mouth. You whip around to find Jungkook casually standing behind you. How long has he been there? How come you didn’t hear anything? “It’s stupid and it could hurt you. You’re not even wearing proper clothes are you?” He adds while you stare at him with wide eyes. 

“I-I-”

“It’s fine. I hope you’re not that stupid baby. You won’t break my trust again, will you?” Jungkook takes a slow step forward. You take one backward. He stops. “Will you?” Asks again. You shake your head almost instantly. Why the hell are you so afraid of this man? Well, you should be. Look where you are. “Good,” He smiles. That damn smile that makes his lip ring glistnes. That horrible smile that makes you shiver. Sweet. Sweet like venom. “I’ve been preparing you breakfast, wanna join me in the kitchen since now you can walk alone perfectly?” Raises his eyebrow in question. You take a moment. You don’t want to be near him. But you have to find a moment. An opportunity. You’ll not find it by scooping yourself inside his room. After a second of hesitation you nod. 

………………………….

Days roll painfully slowly by you. Days spent patiently waiting for an opportunity that hasn’t arrived until now. Jungkook doesn’t leave his apartment just like you knew. He’s always there. He fascinates you at this point, truly. It’s like he possesses some secret powers to be able to do that. You’re wondering how he never faces any emergencies that require him to leave the place. Maybe that’s how unfortunate you are. Not getting the slightest of a chance to escape your luxury prison. And with every passing day, the light of your hope is growing duller and duller. You’re terrified of never getting a chance out of here. So you are afraid of anyone else never finding you ever again. It’s been more than two weeks since you've been here, but not a single person came ringing his bell saying they're here to check for a missing person. 

The only people who rang his bell were the delivery men bringing his orders. Jungkook always made sure you’re out of their sight each time that happened. You don’t know why you obediently complied with him every time. Jungkook hasn’t done anything harmful to you until now. His promise is still going. Yet you find yourself terrified of him. All it takes is a scowl or straight face from him, you’re following his orders around like a little pet. You hate it. You hate yourself for being afraid of him. But for some reason you are. He may not have done any harm to you yet. That, however, doesn’t mean he’s incapable of that. There are millions of dangerous ‘what if’s  going inside your brain every time you try to be a little rebellious. Which is the same reason why you’re reluctant to try on a new plan. 

If Jungkook never leaves his place, that leaves you with only one option. Trying to escape while he’s still around. Extremely dangerous. If you succeed, then it’s fine. But if you don’t then that would be the end of you. You know for a fact that then Jungkook no longer would pretend to be the sweet boy he is. All starry eyes while he looks at you or the shy smiles. Sweet nicknames he uses for you or the innocent flirtings. They’d all drown under his anger and maybe he’ll break his promise then. Or he’d simply kill you. And for the record, you know you’re not a match for his strength if it ever comes to fighting him down. He’d definitely surrender you even before you properly start fighting. That leaves you hopeless. Helpless. Even the thought makes a lump form in your throat. 

You swallow that lump as you focus on the man in front of you. Just happily fumbling around his kitchen like an innocent kitten. He truly does look like a bunny sometimes. Normal. Capable of deceiving anyone. Oh, how sick he makes you feel. Only if you could just hit him with something and run away. Maybe you can try. Can you? Are you capable of doing that? None of these would be a problem if he can just leave the place for a minute. Maybe he doesn’t trust you to leave you alone. Hell, he doesn’t even leave you to yourself when he showers. He made sure you’re locked inside a room while he used the guest bathroom. Not the room you slept in. And that room has a lock you’re incapable of finding how to unleash. He's a genius. 

Smart motherfucker!

Well, then maybe you should play this smart. Pretend to like him. He surely acts like he’s so whipped for you. Maybe you can take advantage of that. 

You perk up instantly. Now watching him with a newfound interest. He is in a white t-shirt and black slacks. His tattooed hand on display. His raven hair tousled after the shower he just had. Jungkook raises his head from the pot he’s been stirring. Probably sensing your stares. He gives you a soft smile. You try to reciprocate it but fail. You have no idea how you’re ever going to pretend to like him when your stomach churns whenever he’s too close to you. 

He’s god damn handsome and that’s a given. Not even God himself would be able to argue. Jungkook is a piece of art. But still, he was the same person who put you through hell and now keeps you trapped here. And that makes him disgusting. You hate him. Completely. But you can’t let him know that. Right? You need to earn his trust. Then maybe he’ll leave you alone to yourself sometimes. Maybe he would trust you enough to not lock you in a room while he showers. So, you bite back the disgust you feel when he walks to you with a spoon in his hand. 

He is making Sundubu Jjigae. Just because you said you wanted that for dinner when he asked. That’s the first thing that comes to your mouth. He brings the spoon to your mouth. You open your mouth without any reluctance. The rich broth invades your taste buds, almost making you hum in delight. You catch yourself just in time. He’s a very good cook, as you’ve come to know by now. See, he’d be a Perfect Partner if it wasn’t for the fact he's a psychopath. 

You give him a nod in approval. “It’s good.” Mumble softly. You still don’t talk with him much. If you’re going to pretend to like him. Then that’d take so much work. Jungkook pouts. 

“Good? That’s it? C’mon I need a perfect princess.” He walks back to the stove. “Should I throw it away and start over?” He looks at you. Eyes glinting. Yours go wide instantly. You straighten up in your stool. Head already shaking. 

“No. No. I- I mean, it’s good. No- uh- it’s perfect Gu-” You shut your mouth immediately. Catching yourself. He’s not the Jeongguk you knew. And even if he is, you're not going to call him by nicknames. You feel nauseous. So much for pretending to like him. Jungkook’s face clouds by something grim for a minute before he smiles. 

“Yeah?” Questions. 

“Yes.” You confirm. 

……………………………

You gaze out of the floor to ceiling windows of Jungkook’s living room. The night city bustles beneath you. According to your best guess, you’re at least fifteen floors high in this apartment building. That leaves you to imagine the ruckus it would cause you to reach the lobby if you manage to actually escape. 

No, you shouldn’t think that way.

There’s no ifs. You’re going to escape and you’ll overcome every challenge as well. You shake your head to brush off any negative thoughts. You can always look at the bright side. At least he hasn’t taken you away from the country and your familiar city. That thought alone makes you feel a little at ease. There’s still hope. You let out a heavy sigh. Jungkook is playing a video game on his expensive TV behind you. You turn your head to take a brief glance at him. Just to make sure he’s still there. He sometimes walks around in the grace of a black panther. It always gives you heart attacks. 

You look back at the outside again. Trying to imagine yourself walking among the thousands of people down there. Living a normal, busy life. Not someone’s personal amusement. You try to imagine freedom. The night air in your skin. You feel suffocated. Oh, how you wish to go outside just for a second. You’re really getting tired of this place. All you want is a one-

Your trail of thoughts get interrupted when you suddenly catch the reflection of Jungkook standing up through the window. You tense up like a bowstring, knowing very well he’d come to you. Just like you knew he lazily stalks toward you. Stands behind you. Closely. So closely that you can feel his breath on your neck. You force yourself to stay still.

If you want to pretend you like him, then you need to start somewhere. 

“What is it, princess?” He mumbles sweetly. Eyes trailing past you to look at what you’ve been looking at. You almost shake your head to say it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter how bad you need to start somewhere, you don’t wish to engage in conversation with him much. It’s like a reflex. How you’re ready to run away from him. But you bite back the urge. You inhale deeply.

“Ca-can we g-go outside?” You blurt out before you can back out again. Jungkook’s eyes flicker to your reflection. Your eyes meet. “I- I mean with you of course. I- I feel like I’m getting cabin fever.” You breathe out. Jungkook says nothing. Just watches you intently. This is the most you’ve talked with him. He looks a bit surprised as well. He takes his sweet time. For a minute, it seems like he would say yes. Even a tiny bubble of hope builds inside you when it just pops out at his next words. 

“I’m sorry, pretty, but no.” 

You can’t help it. You absolutely can’t help how a sudden flash of anger washes through you. Weeks of frustration get to you all at once. You turn around to face him at light speed. 

“Why not?” You grit your teeth.

“Because it’s not safe yet.” He answers calmly. If he notices the way your mood swings, he doesn’t show it. A strained laughter escapes you.

“When will it be safe then?” You question again. He doesn’t answer. And his silence makes you lose your patience. “You fucking can’t keep me trapped here forever Jungkook. You fucking can’t do this to me. You-” You feel your eyes prick with tears. “You fucking can’t treat to me like I’m your pet. I’m a person and- and why are you doing this to me?” You swear that you didn’t plan on crying. But the tears start to roll down as your voice cracks. Interrupted by petty sobs. “Why me?” You muffle your cries with your palm. Jungkook takes a tentative step back. Eyes wide. 

“No, what?” Then he takes that step forward again. His hands grab you tightly by your shoulders. “Why would you ever think you’re trapped here (___), I already told you, I won’t do anything to harm you.” He squeezes your shoulders. In your overwhelmed state you just allow him. “I- oh, gosh princess, you’re not a prisoner here. What’s mine is yours. Consider this your home. You’re not trapped and you’re not a pet. Don’t twist things. You know I love you and I’d do anything for you.” One of his hands leaves your shoulder just to cup your face. Softly. He lifts your face upward to look at him. “Do you understand me baby? You’re not trapped.” 

You blink your tears back. He’s so fucking sick. Look at the things he’s talking about. And you know showing him you’re weak isn’t going to be any help to you. You bring a shaky hand to place on his chest. Push him away weakly. He gets the hint. His hands fall limp beside him. 

“Then why can’t I go outside? You brought me here without my consent Jungkook, that’s fucking kidnapping. And-” You inhale a shaky breath. You’re still very much afraid of him. But you’ll talk to him while you can. Before your fear will make you go back into your shell again. “You say you love me? After all the shit you put me through? Guess what Jungkook-” You feel the anger burning through you. “You don’t love me, you’re just sick and I fucking hate you!” You shout through the top of your lungs. 

And it all happens so fast. The hurt slash across Jungkook’s eyes before they darkened with a dangerous gloom. Your words echo through the apartment before everything falls into a deadly silent state. 

Then even before you know it, your back hits the glass behind you with a loud thud. Jungkook’s hand cupping your cheek so damn tight this time that an involuntary whimper leaves you. He turns your head so you’re looking dead in the eye with him. His body pressing against yours, completely caging you between him and the window. 

“Take that back.” He growls. Is so close to you that you’re practically sharing one breath. His breath tingles your face. “Take that fucking back (___).” He shakes your face. His grip is too tight. You don’t know why you’re crying now. Is it because of the tight grip or the fear? Your body instantly turns limp. Useless. “You don’t mean it. You don’t hate me. Take it back.” Jungkook’s dangerous grumble turns into a shaky, breathless whimper. “Please.” You look at the hurt in his eyes with teary eyes. Your heart beating in your throat and your entire body trembling. You had thought he hit you or something. But now when the situation makes sense to your brain, you’re desperately trying to calm down. Not to die from a heart attack. “Take that back baby, please.” He pleads again. His tight grip on you, however, is a stark contrast to his pleading words. 

“I-” You don’t know what you should say. You’ve ruined your plan even before you start it. You’ve said you hate him. Now your chances to gain his trust will be zero. There’s no reason to pretend anyway. You brace yourself to keep talking. Disagree with him. Consequences be damned. “You wouldn’t do this to me if you loved me, Jungkook.” Despite your best efforts, your voice comes out shaky. “If you really care, you would let me go.” You’re trying to persuade him. There’s a slim chance that it’d work. “I need to live a normal life. I-” Your words get cut off when Jungkook suddenly chuckles. He rests his forehead against you. 

“Yeah? And let you go after your shitty ex again. And watch him break your heart all over again?” His grip finally loosens. He starts caressing your cheek with his thumb, instead. Surprisingly, you find yourself a little bit less disgusted. “No thanks baby. I won’t go through that hell again.” He breathes out. You close your eyes shut when you feel that breath on your lips. “It’s funny, actually. How you never saw what you have. We’re not that different. We both always wanted what hurts us the most. You never saw how I always loved you. Then you ask me why I did it? I did it because you won’t see it any other way. I just love you so much I’ll do it all over again, if I have to. I won’t just accept the defeat this time and watch you go after some loser just to get your heart broken again baby. No. Not again.” 

You shoot open your eyes. 

What did he say? 

Again?

Always loved you?

What does he mean, again? How long has he been knowing you? A new fear makes you shiver. A sense that there’s more to this than meets the eye engulfs you. You want to question him about that. But something tells you that you will not like the answers. So, you keep quiet when he finally withdraws from you. He wipes your tears away. 

“I’m sorry it had to be like this princess, but I have no other options.” He steps away from you completely. “If you hate me, then I won’t mind. You’ll learn to love me one day too. Until then let’s see how things go.” He turns around. Then stops. “When the time is right, I’ll take you out. A date maybe.” 

……………………..

You stopped trying to do anything again. No more requests. No trying to pretend because you know you suck at that. Just cautiously watching him. Letting days pass by. With no opportunity to do anything except to keep yourself as far away from Jeon Jungkook as possible. Until today. This very moment. 

You perk up as a knock comes on the door. It’s just another lazy but alarming day of watching him cook for you. Jungkook stops chopping cabbage. He already knew the delivery was coming. You eye him wearily as he washes his hands, gives you a soft smile and leaves the kitchen. Even these kinds of short moments give you solace. You almost drop your head into your palms when you suddenly notice it. The sleek black device on the kitchen counter. Jungkook’s phone. You straighten up immediately. 

Among your many plans, trying to call someone always has been a first. Only that you never got a chance. You haven’t found any device that you can use for communication except for his phone. And obviously he keeps it with himself. Every damn time. Even when he showers. Today, however, is an exception it seems. You eye the phone on the kitchen island. Your heart beats in your throat. 

He has forgotten it for sure. He doesn't allow chances for you to try anything funny. Hell, at this rate you’re sure you won’t even get a chance to escape even if he leaves you alone in this apartment. You know he’d lock you inside that damn room with that smart locking system. Jungkook controls that shit with his mobile. You know he has installed that lock in that specific room just to keep you inside. All the other rooms and doors are normal. You’ve seen it. Even the main door is normal. You know it requires a password to enter but you can freely walk out. Like a normal door would. 

Maybe this would be the only chance you get. You can call someone. Or text someone. Jungkook has just gone to open the door for another delivery. But it’ll take some time. If you hurry- it’s just enough time. You lick your dry lips. Your head is pounding with indecision. 

Oh, you have to at least try.

You need to do something. Being a prisoner here forever isn’t an option. 

Time is ticking and you’re losing your precious opportunity. 

You slide down from the stool as you slowly make it toward the phone. Your ears are ringing. Cold beads of sweat start to appear on your forehead. Your breathing comes out as shallow pants. You stand still before the phone. 

There it is. Just a lifeless device. It won’t start screaming when you grab it. All you have to do is just call someone quickly. You throw a nervous glance to the doorway. He isn’t here yet. But he would be any minute. 

You need to fucking hurry!

You grab the phone at almost light speed. Throwing caution to the wind, you press the power button, revealing the lock screen. You swipe the screen. In a blind hope that it wouldn’t be password protected. A disappointed sigh leaves you when the screen changes for password input. Of course, who were you kidding? He has a smart locking system and you thought he wouldn’t add a password for his device? How stupid can you be?

A low curse slips through your lips as your brain starts to run a mile a minute. Swirling around different possibilities as to what could be his password. You’re at a loss. You know nothing about him. Almost three weeks with him yet you never even bothered to know anything about him beyond his name. You don’t know his birthday. Age. You don’t know about his family. Anything that could lead you up to a possible guess. You groan as you force your brain to come up with something. 

His age? Do you know that? Have you ever knew it? You wander through your memory lane. Maybe you could find a hint if you think about your time with him before this. When you thought he was just an AI. His bio. He obviously lied to you about his name but what about his age. He had that on there. It takes you a split second to remember it. You can clearly remember he was older than you. And you think you can recall his age as well. 

Yes, that’s it.

The combination requires four numbers and you guess it’s the year. You do a quick calculation in your mind. 

1997

You enter the numbers with trembling fingers, praying to god that it’d be the right one. 

Password incorrect!

You clutch the phone tightly. Almost enough to crack it with your bare hands. Your blood roars inside your ears. Drowning all the other sounds. You glance at the doorway again. He isn’t here again. One more time. One more chance. Even tears start to prick at your eyes as you torture your mind for something. Something that he likes. Sure, you must’ve seen something. Anything. You live with him for fucks sake. 

Something that’s valuable to him. 

Something he lov-

Your eyes go wide. It sure can’t be right? You know something very precious to him. 

You!

You let out a breathy exhale as you frantically start to enter your birth year into the keypad. You’re 99.9% positive that this wouldn’t work. 

It does. The moment you type the last digit the phone unlocks. 

Wow! He really is crazy. That familiar fear tugs at your guts. You have no time to dwell on that, however. There’s more pressing matters at hand. You open the phone application frantically. You can call the police. You can call one of your friends. The best option is to call the police. But you feel hesitant. What if they don’t trust you? You don’t know where this mistrust about the law comes from. In the end, you opt on dialing one of your friends. And without a doubt it’s going to be Daebi. Not that you remember other people’s numbers anyway. 

You dial on Daebi’s number. Your fingers are shaking and your breath is getting caught in your throat every now and then. Same chant or prayer going through your mind. 

Please don’t let him come now. Please don’t.

You enter the final number and mindlessly hit the dial button. It takes a millisecond for the screen to change into the calling page. Then it does. 

D

A capital ‘D’ pops up on the screen. A saved number. You squint your eyes in annoyance. Did you get the number wrong? You have no time for this. You hang up the call immediately before dialing it again. Wait. The same ‘D’ pops up again. This number is saved on this phone. 

No. That can’t be.

How and why would Jungkook has Daebi’s number on his phone. Maybe you have jumbled your memory and this isn’t her number. You feel a shiver run through your spine. This can’t be. You should try again. You hang up the call once more. Start entering it over again. 

“What are you doing?” 

The voice booms through the kitchen. You jump on your spot before the phone slips through your fingers at the unexpected sound. You hear a faint clank as your wide eyes turn to Jungkook. Standing at the doorway. Some grocery bags in his hand. He assesses you for a minute before storming toward you. That dark cloud envelopes him whole as you watch him drop all the bags on the counter. Rounds the table to reach you. You just stand there rooted to the floor by fear. “What the fuck were you doing (___),” He shouts. Bends down and grabs his phone, which is still unlocked. “Who the hell did you contact?” He barks. Frantically going through his call history. 

A beat passes.

You watch how his expression instantly calms down. 

That can’t be.

He gives you a sympathetic look. 

That isn’t Daebi’s number.

Jungkook sighs. “You shouldn’t do dumb things pretty. It always ends up hurting you.” Clutches his phone tightly. “I already told you that I’m trying to protect you. But you’re still trying to betray me? You’re still trying to be that ungrateful bitch? You think your stupid friends give a fuck about you?” He takes a step toward you. His jaw clenched. You stay still. Your head spinning and your mind wandering between his words and all the possibilities as to how he has Daebi’s number. It can’t be her number. It isn’t. “How stupid you are baby. How fucking stupid are you? You could’ve called anyone, the police, someone else, but you decided to call your bitch of a best friend.” A throaty laugh escapes him. You tremble visibly. Well, you fucked up and maybe you won’t get any chance to know what’s actually happening. Jungkook would kill you before that. 

Still, though, you stay rooted in place as he closes the remaining few inches between you. Not because you’re not afraid anymore. But because it’s all too much for you to give a reaction. The only thing you’re capable of doing is gasping when he suddenly grabs your wrist. 

“I really didn’t want to harm you princess. When I say I’ll never cause you any harm, I meant it. But since you’re a stubborn bitch, maybe a little heartbreak and some truth will do you good.”

That’s all he says before turning around and starting to walk away. Dragging you with him. You protest weakly but without a doubt he wins. 

…………………….

You sit in his gaming chair. Slightly trembling and staring blankly at his computer screen. You actually don’t give a shit about what he has to show you. Something inside you is telling you that whatever this is, it isn’t going to be good. Yet, despite your protest Jungkook leans forward over your shoulder and clicks on a file. A video file to be specific.

“I never wanted to show this to you.” He whispers in your ear. You say nothing. Just sit there stupidly watching the screen change into a sight of an unfamiliar room. Jungkook doesn’t withdraw to give you your personal space. He just stays there. You ignore his presence as you pay your jumbled attention to the screen. For a couple of minutes it’s just a still image of a room. You almost become convinced that it’s really a picture when suddenly a door to the left of the room opens. You furrow your brow as you catch a woman entering the room, her face isn’t completely visible. And the quality of the video is really shitty. 

Yet you feel the hair on the back of your neck stand. An urge that something bad is about to happen lurking inside your stomach. Gut feelings. 

The woman fumbles around the room. Her face is still not visible to the camera. But even from the back and with the shitty quality you think she’s familiar. Very. 

You know her. 

Right at the clue, she turns around. Her eyes directly land on the camera. You let out a painful breath. 

Daebi!

You feel your heart squeeze. It hurts but at the same time a fleeting sense of comfort washes over you at the sight of a familiar face. Only until she turns around toward the door again, though. Only until a second figure enters the frame. A man. He doesn’t fumble around. He looks at Daebi the moment he enters and you see his face right away. 

If you thought it hurt to see Daebi, your whole world collapses the moment you see the man.

Hoseok!

No. 

Even before anything happens, you understand it. You feel an overwhelming urge to scream through the top of your lungs. To grab something and smash the computer into pieces. You don’t though. Are too stunned to be able to do anything. You can’t even look away. Not even when Daebi walks to Hoseok leisurely. Not even when Hoseok grabs her waist, flattening her against his chest. You keep watching when he lowers his head to catch Daebi’s mouth in a searing kiss. 

No. Please God no. This can’t be right.

But it’s unfolding in front of your eyes. Their kiss turns heated quickly. Hoeseok’s hand slips from her waist to her ass. He guides them toward the bed. 

No. Not Daebi. Daebi won’t do this to you. Hoseok would, yes. But not Daebi.

“This is- this..” A sob interrupts whatever you're trying to say. “It’s fake. You- you..” You don’t know what you’re talking about. 

“You still don’t believe that, after everything? Even when you have the proofs” Jungkook sighs. You shake your head violently.

“You forged it. Y-you- oh, c’mon,” You chuckle between your cries. “You created a damn app to lure me into your trap. You’re a fucking genius. Of-of fucking course you edited this.” Yes, that’s exactly what happened. You nod weakly, desperate to convince yourself. Jungkook says nothing for a while. But then all of sudden he places his phone on the table. Your eyes flicker from the errotic scene of your best friend and ex- boyfriend making out on a bed to his phone screen. There’s an outgoing call. 

D

Oh, you know what he’s doing. And you want to throw the phone away. You shouldn’t let him manipulate you. This all is his doing. The video. This call. 

“Hello!” 

You slightly jump on your seat when the unexpected voice reaches you through the phone. No one says anything.

“Hello? Kook?” Oh, you can recognize that voice anywhere. She is your best friend after all. 

“Hello D.” Jungkook finally answers her. You slump in your seat. Feeling all your energy leaves your body. 

“What the fuck man. You promised me you will never fucking contact me again. Why the hell are you calling me?” Daebi hisses. Jungkook gives a soft chuckle.

“Oh, it’s just that uh…” His eyes move to your shaky figure. “Your best friend here wanted to say hi.”

“What?” 

Jungkook taps your shoulder. You don’t want to do that. There’s no reason. But somehow you hear your own shaky voice come from a distance. 

“D-daebi?” It’s pathetic and desperate. Still hangs into a loose thread of hope. 

“Shit!” Daebi curses aloud. Her voice is sharp and panicked. That loose thread of hope breaks. You just gape at the phone screen. 

“Are you happy to hear from you bestie D?” Jungkook asks again. With a mockery tilt in his voice. You don’t know whether Daebi answered his question. Probably not. Because before anything, you hear a second voice. 

“Baby, who’s it?” Another voice that you’ll recognize anywhere. How can you not when you have loved him with everything.

Hoseok. 

And the line disconnects. 

All that is left is despair. Disappointment. Disbelief. And pain. Pain everywhere. It hurts everywhere. Every breath you take, every inch of your skin, every heartbeat, it all hurts. 

You can’t believe it. 

But it is the truth. 

You can’t control your cries. Can’t stop the gut-wrenching sobs tearing from your throat. Even start to rock yourself. Wrap your arms around your body. You need a little comfort. Otherwise you’ll die from this pain. That’s why you don’t complain or protest when Jungkook suddenly pulls you onto your feet. Just for him to sit back and drag you into his lap. You just allow him to manhandle you as you immediately curl into a ball in his lap. Hide your face in his broad chest and your fist bunching up on his t-shirt. You allow him to wrap his arms around you and rock you softly. 

“I know princess, I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you but you deserve to know the truth. I always tried to protect you. I’m so sorry.” He draws soothing patterns on your back. You feel his lips on your crownline. 

 “It’s fine, I got you. You’re going to be safe. I’m not letting you go this time.”

…………………………..

At Daebi’s place

“Who was that?” Hoseok plops next to his girlfriend on the couch. 

“No one. Just another spam call.” Daebi sighs. Her face is completely pale. Hoseok takes a minute to study her expression.

“Yeah?” He mumbles. “Are you okay?” Questions just to be sure. Daebi gives him a soft smile before leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just… you know how it is..” 

Of course, he knows. He and Daebi always lived in a constant loop of guilt. If only either of them had found the courage to tell you earlier, when they started falling in love. Then nothing like this would’ve happened. Hoseok thinks it’s cruel how he or Daebi never got a real chance to apologize to you. He really had thought maybe he would get that chance when he last saw you at Daebi’s birthday. But no. His life is too cruel to allow him such easy chances. Now that you’ve vanished into thin air, no one can say if he’ll ever get that chance again.

It’s almost nearing a month and there’s not a single clue about you. Nobody has seen you after Daebi’s birthday. All of your friends confirmed that. And considering how they all agreed upon that you weren’t been mentally strong lately- which is entirely his fault- police have a fat suspicion that you’ve taken your own life.

But Hoseok refuses to believe it. And even though Daebi doesn’t voice it out, he knows that she doesn’t believe it either. You’re safe, and sooner or later someone will find you. He knows that. 

“Yeah, I know baby.” Hoseok plants a soft kiss in her hair. “She’s alive and safe. You don’t have to worry, we’ll find her.” Reassures.

He completely misses how his girlfriend’s face grows even paler.

……………………

a.n- Let's meet with a prequel soon!!!!!!! (And loads of smut *wink*)

..............................................................................................................................

Jungkook sits on the far end of the lecture hall, playing with his pen. Click. A roll. Another click and then another roll. Over and over. Picking up speed. His leg starts to bob as well. He hates this place. He hates lots of things. The university, that stupid professor, and all the other students. But, of course, after his parents. He hates them the most.

He never wanted to study business to begin with. He was perfectly fine with his computer. He could’ve changed the world if he was just allowed to learn what he wanted. But no. Here he is. Sitting in a strategic management lecture despite his huge displeasure. 

See, he has every reason to hate his parents. Dear parents who made him learn business because they wanted him to take after the family business. Parents who believed punishments and a whip were necessary to raise a boy. Parents who thought locking a child in a dark basement for days, terrified of unseen monsters, was the right way to discipline him. Parents who believed making him unloved was the way to make him manly. 

Well, fuck them!

Jungkook glances at his watch. One more minute until the lecture starts. 

59, 57, 58…

A click…

A roll…

The stupid professor probably won’t start the lecture on time, though. Jungkook knows it by experience.

45, 44, 43…

A click..

His leg bobs up and down uncontrollably.

He just wants the day to end. End it fast so he could haul inside his dorm room peacefully. 

3, 2, 1……

And it’s time but as he expected, the old hag doesn’t start the lecture. 

Jungkook groans in annoyance. When will people learn about punctuality? It’s exactly after 30 seconds that the old professor finally starts the lecture. 

Finally!

Then just as he starts speaking, the lecture hall door barges open. Someone storms inside, panting hard. Another fool who doesn’t know how to work on time. Jungkook watches in mild annoyance as the newcomer bows deeply in apology. So deep that their forehead practically  touches the floor. Then they turn around. 

A girl.

Her eyes roam over the lecture hall, trying to find an empty spot. The entire hall is almost filled by that point. Except for the one next to Jungkook. 

Oh fuck!

The last thing he wants is someone to sit next to him. Normally, people don’t. They prefer to stay away from the quiet kid who always keeps his face hidden in a hoodie. They preferred not to engage with the creepy kid who always wears black from head to toe. No problem, though. Jungkook is just fine. 

Then here comes this new girl, rushing toward him. Jungkook doesn’t bother looking at her as she starts to whisper.

“Hey! You don’t mind if I take this seat, right?” 

He doesn’t answer. The girl doesn’t wait for his answer, anyway. Just sits down. Shuffles around with her things while Jungkook just opens his laptop. He almost pays attention to the professor when her chirpy voice interrupts him again.

“I’m so sorry I’m probably invading your safe space. Shouldn’t have come so late to the lecture but my friends- wait, I’m rambling and you didn’t ask. You probably don’t want people yapping at you. First I made you sit with me and now I’m talking to you when you don’t even look at me- And I’m rambling again. I should shut up. I’m gonna shut up. I’m sorry.”

Then, silence.

Good. Thank fuck. Jungkook is so glad that the girl decided to shut her big mouth. He basks in the peaceful silence for a minute. But then here it comes. Fucking curiosity. Curiosity to know who’s the person that was forced to sit next to him but obviously wasn’t forced to talk to him. He turns his head slightly. To be met with a petite figure. Bright eyes wide and looking at the professor. Luscious lips where the bottom one is trapped between pearly teeth. Soft hair framing a pretty face. 

A girl who casually talked with him.

A girl who is apparently not freaked out by him. 

A pretty girl. 

Fucking pretty.

The prettiest. 

You!

The first encounters are always the funniest. Like this one. You turn your head abruptly toward him. As if you sensed his stares. Jungkook jerks and averts his head away from you. 

“Oh, by the way my name is (___), how ‘bout you?”

He doesn’t answer. Yet again. You don’t mind. Just start yapping. Yet again.

………………………….

You enter your shared apartment with your boyfriend. Feeling exhausted after a long day of lectures and your part time job. Just to be met with a Jimin who casually sprawls across your couch. You wrinkle your nose in displeasure. Not that you hate Jimin or anything, but lately, all your friends- including Hoseok’s and yours- have started living rent-free in your apartment. 

Jimin is a good, funny, and charming guy but in moments like these, all you want is to be left alone with your other half. Maybe just cuddling and watching a movie. Or even better- getting your brains fucked out. 

Well, it seems that the thought would have to wait. 

You walk toward Jimin on the couch. A sheet mask on his face and listening to Thank You, Next. He’s been obsessed with that song for so long now you’re becoming tired of hearing it. You nudge his legs with your knee, demanding him to make space for you. Jimin barely lifts his head before bending his legs and giving you space to sit down.

“Where’s Hobi?” You ask as you drop down onto the comfy leather.

“Around.” Jimin just nonchalantly waves his hand around making you annoyed. 

“Yah!” You bellow when he raises his head up once again.

“Yah!,” He matches your voice. “How the fuck would I know where your boyfriend is?” Asks, bewildered. Well, that’s a good point.

“Why are you here again?” So, you change the topic. Jimin finally stops trying to relax while your annoying figure is next to him. Instead, he sits up and removes the face mask.

“To use your skincare products and, of course, your shower.” Says matter of factly. You knew the face mask was yours. See, they’re totally taking advantage of your place. You open your mouth to give yours and your boyfriend’s best friend a piece of your mind when the sudden sound of a door opening interrupts you. You and Jimin both turn your head behind you. Where the only bedroom in this little apartment is, and a little bit disoriented Hoseok appears. 

Your lips stretch into a huge grin at the comforting presence of your boyfriend. He looks a little red in his face. It takes him a split second to return your grin. 

Weird!

Or not. He was probably asleep and woke up startled by your yelling. 

“Hey, baby!” You greet him warmly. Hold your hand out toward him. Silently asking him to join you on the couch. But before he could, Jimin interrupts.

“Is she still showering?” Gestures in your bedroom. “Yah! What is she? A damn fish?” Almost gets to his feet. You look at him in question when the answer appears through the door. 

Daebi. Your best friend. Her hair wraps up in one of your towels. 

“Oh hi baby, you’re early.” Hoseok finally returns your earlier greeting and takes your hand in his. Sits down next to you. You look at him surprised for a second before you avert your gaze to your best friend again. 

“Really?” You raise one of your brows. This is what you mean when you say they’re abusing your house. Jimin just gots up and disappears inside your bedroom- where you know-he inevitably goes to shower as well. And the idiot put on that mask before he showers. And that’s such a waste.

“Oh, c’mon, your shower is just nice. Besides, you're not the one who pays the bills. It’s your sweet boyfriend.” She winks and waltzes toward your mini kitchen.

“Seriously? This is the time we should move out from this place and let’s make sure we find a place with the shittiest shower.” You state as you still keep your eyes over to where your best friend just walks away. Hoseok snorts. 

“It’s okay baby.” He places a soft kiss on your cheek. You immediately relax at the sensation. He places another. Then another. All over your cheek and then trailing down toward your jaw. Neck. Throat. You swear you tried your best not to moan but an involuntary moan slips through your lips. Makes Hoseok grin against your skin. He gives you another kiss. This time open mouthed. You shudder. But then it hits you. He’s trying to distract you from getting mad at your friends. You shove him away.

“It’s not okay.” You shake your head in disagreement. Hoseok sighs. Rolls his eyes. 

“It’s just a shower (___).”

“I know. It’s not about the shower though. It’s about me wanting to have some alone time with you and-” Your turn to face him. It’s not that you're mad at your friends for real. You smirk. “- maybe I’m just horny….. and-”

He stops your words by attacking his lips to yours. Kisses you deep. Tongue swapping across your bottom lip, inviting you for that familiar heated dance. And you forget about your friends and the shower. Completely. Everything disappears. Just Hoseok. And you. Only living creatures. So, you give him what he’s asking for. Access to the inside of your mouth. He wastes no time in thrusting his tongue forward. Tangling with yours. Creating a hot mess of saliva. Only pulls away when your head starts to spin. “Yeah?” Questions when he does. 

“Yeah.” You whisper, breathlessly. So Daebi won’t hear you. A devilish smirk appears on your boyfriend’s face. 

“Then we should do something about it and let’s just ask Jimin to walk out of the shower with his eyes closed.” He whispers back. Kisses your neck once again. This time with his hot tongue grazing over your sensitive skin.

“Hobi..” You gasp softly. And that’s all it takes for your boyfriend’s restrictions to snap. He stands up at light speed. Almost picks you up from the couch just as your phone dings. You mindlessly search inside your pocket for the annoying device while keeping your eyes on Hoseok. He waits patiently until you check who’s texted you. You reluctantly turn your gaze toward your phone. Unlocking it quickly. Only to find a simple ‘Hi’ from an unknown number. “Who’s that? Anything important?” Hoseok asks you as you lock your phone again and throws it away. 

“Nope. I don’t know who that is. Don’t care either. C’mon, lover boy, fuck me, hm?” You bat your eyelashes at Hoseok. He curses slowly before really picking you up from the couch this time. You squeak as he starts to walk toward your bedroom. Just as Daebi comes out of the kitchen with a horrified expression on her face. She’s allergic to PDA. So, you understand that expression. You give her a quick wave before Hoseok kicks the bedroom door closed. 

……………………..

You’re early today. It feels nice to be early to your lecture and not having to sweat your ass down while running across the university. You stand in front of the almost empty lecture hall. Assessing your seating options. Since you’re early, you can choose to sit wherever you want. But then, your eyes slowly wander over to the back. Stopping at the figure hunched over there. All in black. Face covered in the hoodie. 

You didn’t see his face last time either. Only a set of pink lips. And a part of his cheek while he was busy staring at you. But that was all. He never bothered to remove his hoodie. It almost felt like he was deliberately trying to hide his face from you. Which was fine. It’s his choice anyway. Yet by the parts you saw, you guess the boy must have a goldy face. Such a shame he keeps it hidden.

Lost in your own thoughts, you slowly start to walk toward the back of the lecture hall. You had no option but to sit next to him the last time. And you just know he didn’t like your company that much. Still you decide to approach him. You just feel bad. True, you’ve never even seen him before. But you guess that’s how his entire college life must have been. Alone in the back of the class. Depressing. You can’t help but feel sad. And your altruistic self believes you can be of help. 

He turns his head slightly toward you when you finally approach him. Still not enough to see anything besides his pink lips. 

“Hi!” You chirp. “Mind if I?” You gesture at the empty seat, expecting him to stay silent. To ignore you completely like the last time. Then, to your surprise, he nods. Just once. But nonetheless he does. You grin widely to yourself as you sit. “Thank you.” Mumble. Get comfortable and start fumbling with your laptop and notes. “How have you been?” Question him knowing very well he won’t answer. And your expectations come true. 

See now, you don’t wish to be annoying to people. No. You can pick up a sign when it’s needed. But for some reason, you think this guy- who’s in black- maybe needs some company. Even though he doesn’t engage in any conversation with you. That’s the exact reason  why you keep asking him a question here or there throughout your lecture. And he nods or shakes his head for some of them. The only question that he answers verbally is when you ask what year he’s in. To your surprise, he’s in his final year. 

Well, lucky guy. He’d be out of this hell hole pretty soon. 

Now it’s only fifteen more minutes left until the lecture ends and you’re asking him about his favourite lecturer under your breath when you get distracted by your professor. 

“Okay, class, it’s time to discuss your upcoming assignment.” He clasps his hands and you immediately pay your full attention to him. You might not pay attention to the lectures but the assignments are important. “As you know the upcoming report is a paired work,” He starts and you sigh heavily. You hate group work. “-which will not be that difficult since we’ve been talking about the topic a lot. And I hope you all will do a great job. Then about assigning you partners, I decided that I’ll not be assigning you with random people since it makes it awkward and uncomfortable. I believe you’ll be more effective working with someone who you’re already comfortable with. So, it’s up to you to decide who your partner will be. You have two weeks until the due date.”

Oh fuck!

You have no one you’re familiar with in this class. It’s almost mechanical how you snap your head to your left. Toward the guy in black.

“Wanna partner up?” You blurt out before you can process. “Uh- I mean only if you want to of course. Do you have anyone here you want to partner up with or-”

“You.” He snaps, making you stop your rambling abruptly.

“Huh?”

“L-let’s p-partner up. You’re good.” He stutters out an explanation. You chuckle softly, finding him to be so adorable. 

“Good. Thank you. I mean I don’t know many people and oh,” You perk up remembering your need to make sure he doesn’t get high hopes about good grades while working with you. You’re just bad at this. “But I want you to know that I’m very bad at this. Business is really not my thing. Never wanted to pursue this degree but my mom  made me do it. So, I hope-”

“You have a shitty family too?”

You close your mouth immediately. 

What, now? 

That’s the most he’s said so far, and he’s asking if your family is shitty. A laugh slips through your lips.

“Wh-what? Of course, no-” You even start to shake your head. Because that’s not true. Your family is the best. “Not at all. They’re good. Just didn’t want me to pursue music since they believe it won’t be easy to make a stable future with that. That’s all. They're not bad.” You let him know when he just nods again and looks straight ahead. “Um- but why did you ask that?” You ask anyway, despite his clear signs of not wanting to talk anymore. He shrugs. 

“Because I have a shitty family.” States meekly. Voice almost inaudible that you have to lean in to catch it. And you feel your heart squeezing. That’s awful. See, you knew he was in a bad situation.  

“I’m so sorry.” You mutter sadly. “You didn’t want to study business?” You ask again, hoping that his family situation is just about not letting him pursue his dream. He shakes his head. Nothing more. You wait a minute until he says something else but when he doesn’t, you decide to ask something else. “What did you want to learn then?”

“I.T”

You can feel the melancholy in his voice. 

This is depressing. 

“I’m really sorry.” You mutter again.

………………………………

Jungkook can’t believe it. He really fucking can’t believe that someone- who’s a real person and a girl at that- wanted to sit next to him. To talk to him and then to partner up with him. It feels weird to be honest. Since he has never had such an experience in his life. Sure, he’s done group work but it was always with someone who was assigned to him. You, however, willingly chose to partner up with him. 

And you’re real. Very real. Not some fragment of his imagination. Not a scenario he made up in his head while waiting for sleep to reach him. Most importantly, you’re not someone who he met online either. If you were, then he wouldn’t be so surprised about this situation. Because he is a star when it comes to talking with strangers online. He actually has a couple of online girlfriends, to be precise. He’s this charming guy who can swoon women via texts. Or calls for that matter. But when it comes to reality, he’d just shy away. Knowing very well that no one would want to do anything with him. He’s the quiet kid in black clothes. Then here you are. Mindlessly and animatedly talking about the upcoming assignment. 

The two of you are walking back from the lecture. And he can see the exit. You haven’t stopped talking ever since you left the lecture hall. You’re telling him the way you could do this. Which part and who should do it. While you keep talking you both step out into the cold autumn air. 

“Or, we can do it the other way, you know. No pressure at all.” You look at him hopefully, coming to a halt at the entrance. Jungkook stops with you. Takes a minute. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it for both of us.” He mumbles slowly. But he knows that you heard it judging by the way your jaw dropped. He should’ve let you know before you start fussing over the details and talk a river. But he likes the way your luscious lips move when you talk. So, he waits until you’re out. You stay that way for a minute before prettily giggling. 

Wow, he likes the sound of it.

“Oh, you’re joking right? I didn’t take you to be the type to just casu-”

“I’m not,” Jungkook interrupts you. Your giggle trails off. “I’ll do it. You don’t have to worry.” He reassures you again since you don’t believe him. You take more than a minute this time. Try to duck a little to get a look at his face in vain. He turns his face away from you. He doesn’t want you to see him. You’re so nice to him and actually enjoy his presence. But what if you change your mind after seeing his face? Not that Jungkook has any problem with how he looks. He thinks he looks quite alright. Yet he’s still a weird kid. He knows he must look pale since he hasn’t gone under the sun for forever lately. And his eyes must look lonely and lifeless. That would surely scare you away. You give up trying to look at him. 

“Wh-what? But why?” Ask instead. Well, because Jungkook wants to do something nice for you. The only girl who ever approached him in real life. It simply makes him happy to do something for you. To see you happy. He doesn’t tell you that, however. He just shrugs. 

“Because I can.” Simply says when you start shaking your head. 

“No-no. That’s not right. I can’t let you do a whole twenty page long report on both of our behalf. Let’s just split the work evenly and-”

“I have lots of spare time.”

“How? I thought you’re in your final year? How can you have so much free time?”

“I just do.” Jungkook grumbles, starting to get annoyed at how you don’t want his help. He just wants to help you. Especially since he knows how bad you’re at this. Academically. Not just from your own words but of course from his research. He couldn’t help but look for you after the first day. Was just curious. It’s really a piece of cake for him to log into the university data. Then access all the details of students. Not that he’s done it before. Never felt a need to do so. You’re the first ever need. And yes, he found a lot about you. Including your personal details. Your permanent address, your current address, your phone number, and lastly your academic records. You were apparently not exaggerating when you told him that you’re bad at this. Barely into the start of your second year and your grades are already suffering. So, Jungkook can help you a little with it and he doesn’t like the way you’re being stubborn. 

But before he can say anything you sigh. To his great pleasure. “Okay, if you insist but I feel bad, you should ask me if you need anything, okay?” You take a step toward him. Come so close to him that he feels your body warmth. And he feels a skip in his heart beat. Even his breath hitch. This is new. He feels a shudder rippling through him. Maybe it’s because you’re a girl. Not that he doesn’t know anything. Of course, not. He can make a girl cum in their pants if he has a phone and an internet connection. This is new, though. But he knows that it’s not the novelty that makes his breathing ragged and heart beats a mile a minute. He has been in close proximity to other women but has never felt this way. “Okay?” You ask again, making him snap out of his reverie. 

He just nods. You smile. 

Pretty!

So fucking pretty. 

Pretty that he’s forgetting to breathe.

Pretty that it hurts.

He wants to just touch you. Just your cheek. Then trail down toward those luscious lips of yours. Then down your throat. Down, down, and down. 

Jungkook can’t help but wander his gaze down where his mind is taking him. Drinking up your appearance. Your silky skin. And the swell of your breasts. His eyes stop there. Even through the layers of clothing, your breasts look so plump. So soft. 

What if he just squeezes them in his large hand? What if-

“Hey!” The sudden voice makes him slightly jump on his spot. You turn around to meet the person who owns that voice at the same time he looks over you. A young man with a bright smile reaches you. Casually. Jungkook turns his gaze back to you right at the time to catch you reciprocating the newcomer's smile. 

It looks like you know each other.

“Hey, baby!” Then you mutter softly. 

Of fucking course you know each other.

The man pecks your lips slowly. And Jungkook feels his skin prickles. He goes rigid completely. Clenching his jaw so tight even without him knowing it. A burn in his chest makes it hard for him to breathe. 

“Who’s this?” The man asks from you, making you avert your eyes back to Jungkook. 

“Oh, this is my….” You start enthusiastically only to trail off. Of course, you still don’t know his name. And how it hurts. Ridiculous. Jungkook turns around without a word. Starts to walk away when you call after him. 

“Hey wait! We just, hey….”  

But he doesn’t turn around. 

…………………………..

Jungkook stands a few feet away from the friend group in the courtyard. He’s trying to stay clear from anyone's sight. Not that anyone would pay him any mind. Still, he doesn’t want you to notice him. No. That’d disrupt his peaceful view. It’s liberating to just look at you. 

The girl who wanted to talk with him by herself. 

The girl who’s so pretty. 

Now, Jungkook doesn’t know why he’s being this way. He found you to be breathtakingly beautiful the first day you sat next to him. You were damn interesting. Intriguing. With your endless chatter. 

And then when you had chosen to sit next to him for a second time, he felt something so deep inside him. He no longer hated sitting in a class where some old professor mindlessly talked about things that never reached his brain. He really liked the feeling of having you next to him. Just sitting next to him. Walking next to him. Standing next to him. It was amazing. The feeling. The way his heart was racing. The way he was feeling hot. It was all so nice. He no longer hated this place as well. Just two days with you, he was already feeling positive. 

He had never thought he’d ever get to feel such a feeling. A feeling that is not miserable. But instead hopeful. You’re like a ray of sunshine that suddenly peeked at him through the years of dark clouds that shrouded his entire world. 

Then, he felt so disappointed in the end.

You didn’t even know his name. It had hurt to think you weren’t even interested in knowing his name. Jungkook really doesn't know why you do what you do. Being all nice to him. Wanting to be around him. Maybe, you’re just a kind person who’s nice to everyone. But something inside him says that’s not the case. That can’t be right, can it? No, it isn’t. You wanted to approach him. That should mean something. Right?

Of course, it means something.

Besides, how well you and he were getting along with each other, even though it was just two days. You have felt so familiar to him. As if he has known you for years. And you share so many similarities. He has found so many interests that are common for you two. Then there is your family situation. You might not admit that you have a shitty family but that’s the truth. You and he are the same. What a match. Isn’t this fate? 

People don’t just be nice to other people. You were clearly interested in him. In some kind of way. Even though you obviously have a boyfriend. At that moment Jungkook had felt such a twist in his gut which he later figured out as jealousy. He was so jealous of the man who had approached you that way and got to touch you oh, so freely. It was not fair. It was maddening. 

He swears that he had wanted to just forget it and continue with his life like he always did. Just go back to his miserable life clouded by gloomy darkness. But it didn’t work. He was so desperate for that ray of sunshine after that first moment. It was impossible to go back to the darkness just after he felt how good it is to be in the light. No. He wasn’t ready to just let go. So, he had no other options but to seek you in any way he could find.

Your every social media account? Checked. He is following you on every platform he can. 

Your address? Checked. He’s been following you back home for a week now.

Your every class? Checked. He knows your daily schedule better than you do. 

He knows where you’d be at what time. He knows where you work part time and in which coffee shop you’d pay a visit every day. Knows what is your favourite order- and he liked it the first time he tried. No wonder you’re ordering the same thing again and again. He knows in which corner you’d sit at the library. He knows how much time you waste under the disguise of studying but spending doing nothing but daydreaming. He knows many things. And he’d continue to know more and more. Every little thing about you. Until there’s nothing more to know. Until you’re a part of him. 

And while he’s at it. He has felt the same warmth. Even though you are not just engaging in an active conversation with him, he felt the same comforting feeling by just looking at you talking with other people. Even though you aren’t laughing and smiling with him, he certainly does find solace in looking at your smile through your pictures. Pictures you’ve posted in your social media or the pictures he has captured at the most random times. 

Oh, how beautiful you look.

And despite all, despite the fact that you have no single idea about you being on his watch for over a week now, he feels so close. So close to you. Closer than he’s even been to anyone. As if you’ve lived with him. 

He loves that. Loves how content he feels even when he’s looking at you from afar. And of course, amidst all these, he’s kind of forgotten that you have a boyfriend. Who can blame him, after all. Besides, as now he’s watching you for probably the hundredth time, Jungkook thinks he doesn’t give a double fuck about your boyfriend either. Why should he? For now, he is more than satisfied with looking at you. When he wants more than that, he’d get more than that. Boyfriend or not. You deserve far better than that anyway. You deserve someone who’s obsessed with you. Someone who could treat you like the goddess you are. Like Jeon Jungkook himself. 

Until his moment comes, however, he will just love you from afar. 

……………………………….

You felt awful after the encounter with the guy in all black who’s now your assignment partner. It feels like such a bitchy thing to do, especially after he offered to do the report all by himself. That’s a huge favor to you since you’re barely hanging there. And yet, you didn’t even know his name.

You wanted to apologize profusely during your next lecture. And you waited expectantly for him to arrive. He didn’t. Which makes your guilt intensified ten fold. Then you waited until your next lecture. He didn’t attend it again. 

What if he’s really mad at you? What if you’ve hurt him? 

True that you don’t know him very well but hurting someone has not been your intention at all. And there’s the fact that he already has a problematic family. It must be really hard. 

Hence, your long face as you enter the university cafeteria after your lecture. Your mind goes around so many different things. You don’t even have a way to contact him. You don’t even know what you should do at this rate. There’s a pending assignment and if he’s decided not to do it anymore, then you need to come up with something. You can’t really afford to fail a subject. 

You sigh heavily as you wait in the line to place your order. Eyes just wandering around with no purpose. That’s when your eyes suddenly land on someone who’s hunched over their laptop in a corner booth.

Wait!

That someone is draped in all black. That someone has their face covered from a hoodie. 

A wide grin spreads across your face as you unmistakably recognize the person. That’s definitely him. Your assignment partner. You jump into action immediately. Practically sprint toward him. Bumping into a girl in your haste. You pay no attention to her as you make a beeline to the booth where he’s sitting all alone. 

“Hey!” You shout just as you reach the booth. Don’t wait for any permission as you slide into the booth right across from him. Someone else would’ve jerked a little at the unexpected barge in but not this guy. He doesn’t even raise his head to look up at you. Just keep staring at his laptop. 

Oh okay, that’s fine. 

“Hey, why didn’t you come to class today?” You ask despite his lack of interaction. And don’t receive an answer in return. You sigh again. Chew on your bottom lip. “Listen, I’m so sorry about what happened the other day. That was such a low thing to do. You even offered to do the report for me and-” You yet again in vain try to take a look at his face when he lower his head even more. “- I’m really sorry.” So, you just extend your sincere apology. He still doesn’t answer. “But in my defense, I asked your name on the first day, it was you who didn’t answer me.” You add stupidly thinking it’d ease him up. Wrong. He’s still silent. 

“Okay, okay, let’s just do this again.” You hold your hand toward him. “I’m (__). It’s nice to meet you Mr?” He doesn’t take your hand in his. Nor does he answer your question. You keep your hand that way for a long awkward second before you let it fall down. “Okay.” You mumble and nod just after another minute. “That’s fine. I get why you’re mad at me and that’s fair. I was a bitch and if you don’t want to do the report all by yourself anymore, I’m fine with it. Just tell me what part I should do so-”

He cuts you off abruptly by turning his laptop toward you all of a sudden. 

“Huh?” You dumbly stare at him. Then at the laptop screen. “Wh-what’s this?” Question tentatively. 

“Report.” Finally, he answers. You turn your attention back to him, not understanding what he’s talking about. “I already finished it.” So, he clarifies. 

What now? 

You hastily start to read the document on the device. Scroll down. Eyes roaming over the words, numbers, statistics, and images. Holy hell, he indeed has finished the report. All twenty pages are done. Your eyes go wide in pure disbelief. Even suck in a shaky breath. 

“Wow…” You whisper even without you knowing you said that audibly. “Wow..” This time, you say it more clearly. Look back at the guy in front of you. Still staring down and his face hidden. “Fucking wow, Mr. No name. How did you even? I mean.. It’s only been two weeks and you already finished this?” You shake your head. 

“Told you, I have a lot of spare time.” He mumbles softly, making you smile. You find him intriguing. And kind of adorable. “I- uh- will send it to you so you can proofread it. Let me know if any changes are needed.” He adds.

“I don’t think this will need any changes. You’re brilliant. Oh god thank you so much,” You chirp happily. “But still send it to me anyway and I’ll go through it.” You pull a tissue paper toward you. Fish out for a pen in your bag. Let out a victorious noise when you find one. “This is my email.” You explain to him as you write it down on the tissue. Shoves it across the table to him. “Thank you again, Mr. No name. You’re the best.” You exclaim yet again. Give him his laptop back when your alarm suddenly goes off. 

“Oh shit.” You take the device from your pocket and turn off the alarm. “I have another class.” Explain to your half- dead companion even when he doesn’t give a fuck. You get to your feet hastily. Looks like you’ll have to forget about your lunch. Almost turn around to leave before you eye the guy who’s nice enough to save your ass at least in one subject. 

You hesitate for a bit. Pondering on your thoughts. Then say fuck it as you hurriedly round the table. 

“Thank you so much!” You state with the bottom of your heart. Lean down to throw your arms around his neck. A fleeting sideways hug to show your gratitude. He’s so nice and you have no other way to show how thankful you are. 

“Let me know if you need anything in the future. I’m quite happy to return the favor.”

You shout that out as you already start to walk away. 

…………………

Jungkook stupidly stares at the tissue paper on the table. Your email address scribbled on it. His heart pounds erratically in his throat. His ears roar. Ridiculous, since it was just a simple hug. But he can’t help it. The way you melted into him. The way your breath momentarily hit his ear when you pulled away. The way your soft breasts just slightly pressed against his shoulder. 

Fuck!

What would he do to have it again? 

To have more. To have you in his hands. Your body pressed against his. Your soft breasts against his hard chest. To touch you all over. Kiss every inch of your skin. Knead your round ass cheeks. To smell you. And then of course, to have you naked and whimpering beneath him. His hard cock ramming inside you while you cry out his name. 

A thin layer of sweat forms on his skin. All the blood in his body rushing downward. How embarrassing this is that he’s getting a hard-on from a simple hug. He can’t help it. He absolutely can’t. 

Jungkook closes his eyes for a minute to relive the brief moment where he felt you against him. An involuntary groan leaves his throat at the memory. He’d have to rush home now. There’s an aching problem between his legs to take care of. Yet soon as he opens his eyes again, he’s met with the tissue paper on the table. 

Weird.

He finds you to be really weird. Why didn’t you text him your email address? Isn’t that the new normal? Or are you a hopeless romantic who loves to do such funny things? A soft smile graces his lips. 

Jungkook picks up the tissue from the table. 

Do you pity him? 

Or do you just like him, like how he thought? 

You approached him after all. Yet again. Like you always do. It makes Jungkook’s heart flutter to think that you’ve been looking for him. Looking for a chance to apologize sincerely. 

Oh, how complicated you are. Like an unsolvable puzzle. And Jungkook loves solving them. 

He pockets the tissue before picking up his phone. Still finding it weird that you decided to write it down like that. You could’ve just texted him. He unlocks the phone and opens a text thread where the last message was from more than two weeks ago. 

Pretty

You’re the one who sent the last message. 

Pretty

              Thursday, 15 March, 2018

Oh, no. I hate Choco Pie. Can’t stomach it. (9. 00 a.m.)

Jungkook hasn’t replied to you because it was just an hour before your lecture. Despite your enthusiasm to talk with him over the texts Jungkook has been pretty nervous that you won’t choose to sit next to him. Then you did. Solidifying his suspicions that you might like him. But then the day didn’t end well and he didn’t want to text you back. You didn’t either. Not even an apology. 

You’re weird.

First, you never asked his name even over texts. 

Second, you could’ve just text an apology but you sought him out instead. You decided to be a little romantic and write down your email on a darn tissue paper. Another smile graces over Jungkook’s lips at the prospect. Maybe he was right. Maybe you like him. It doesn’t matter that you have a boyfriend. Maybe you’re not in love with him. Maybe it’s not only him who’s been feeling so connected to you. 

Jungkook shoves his phone inside his pocket as well, deciding not to ponder on the thought anymore. It doesn’t matter. What matters is the fact that you actually came. Made amends. So, he turns off his laptop. Gathers his belongings to leave the cafeteria. Is pushing everything inside his bag when a loud chirpy voice catches his attention and makes him look in the direction. The way that someone happily bellowed really matches the way you do it. Hence his sudden interest. Yet he’s met with a stranger. A girl who just enters the cafeteria. A boy follows her. Jungkook almost looks away in disinterest before his mind registers the boy who entered. He does a quick double take.

And he wasn’t wrong.

There he is. Your so-called boyfriend. 

Jung Hoseok!

Of course, Jungkook knows everything about the said man from A to Z. Of course, he dug deeper into the said man’s life since the day he saw him. All it took was a simple stalk over your Instagram to find the needed person. Then it was just as easy as eating a piece of cake for Jungkook. Maybe, he recognizes the girl too. She was in your photos. She didn’t pique his interest, however. Only your boyfriend did. 

Oh, how Jungkook hates Jung Hoseok. Just because Hoseok exists. Because he exists and found you before Jungkook did. 

Not that Jungkook can do anything about it though. So, he proceeds to finish packing up his things. Swings his backpack over his shoulder. Takes a step forward just to stop dead on the track. Eyes wide at what he sees. 

The girl pouts. Whines about something he quite can’t hear. Then she turns around. Goes to her tippy-toes just to connect her mouth with the man behind her. The man who is unmistakably Jung Hoseok. The man who is definitely your boyfriend. 

Jungkook lets out a soft, inaudible gasp. 

Well, isn’t this so fucked up?

Hoseok doesn’t shove the girl away immediately. He revels in the kiss for a moment before suddenly pulling away as if the girl burnt him. His eyes scan the cafeteria furiously afterwards. Panicked. His eyes roam past Jungkook without recognizing. 

Good!

Jungkook doesn’t know what his initial thoughts about the situation were. But now he is quite sure. Your dear boyfriend is cheating on you. And probably with someone who’s close to you, if she’s the girl Jungkook saw on your profile. 

Jung Hoseok is cheating on you! The fucking bastard is cheating on a woman like you!

See, he knew you deserve much better. 

………………………………

“So…” Daebi drags out while twisting the mascara cap closed. You watch her through the bathroom mirror, applying lip balm to your lips which are drier than Sahara. 

“So what?” You question when she doesn’t complete whatever she was about to say and gets distracted with checking her blemishes instead. You get her attention back to you, successfully. 

“So… you mean this weird guy in a hoodie from your class completed a whole damn report for you and you don’t even know his name yet?” Daebi finally asks. You shrug. 

“Yep. And it isn’t my fault, you know. He just refuses to say his name. I asked him a million times.”

Daebi chuckles. “And you think it’s safe to hang out with someone who refuses to reveal their identity? I mean you haven’t even seen his face?” Turns around and leans against the counter. You scrunch up your face in displeasure. Why does everyone think that a quiet kid is always a danger?

“Don’t be like that Daebi. He’s just shy. Other than that he’s a really nice guy. I mean have you ever met someone who’s willing to do a group assignment all on their own happily. And he doesn’t even want anything in return.” You finish up applying lip balm and place it inside your bag. 

“That’s exactly why you should be careful. People don’t do stuff like that, not anymore at least. There’s always a hidden motivation. Who knows? Maybe he likes you.” Daebi casually inspects her perfectly manicured nails as she states that. A smug smile on her lips. You take a minute at that. Eyes wide. A minute of uncertainty where you consider what she just said. 

Could it be?

Of course not. Your stupid best friend is messing with you. 

“Yah!” You nudge her away with your hip. Makes her giggle. “He literally saw me with Hoseok the other day. He’s just a nice guy.” You turn around as you say. Place your bag and phone on the counter top. Leave them behind knowing Daebi will stay for you.Walk toward one of the stalls. 

“That doesn’t matter dude. He still can be deeply, madly in love with you.” Your best friend shouts after you as you close the bathroom stall’s door behind you, making you reopen it and flip her off. 

………………………

You eye your classmate suspiciously as you sit in your designated spots in the familiar lecture hall. Not that you can see much. His face is mostly covered in his infamous hoodie. By now, you’ve grown mostly comfortable around him. After all, you’ve attended more than five lectures together. He’s still not one of your best friends but you genuinely like him. You may not stay in touch out of this class room but when you’re inside, he’s the best company you could ever wish for. You haven’t asked for his number mainly because you thought he wouldn't like to share it with you. He doesn’t even want to tell you his name. And you find it ridiculous how you two sit next to each other for every lecture but how you still haven’t seen his face.

You’ve grown accustomed to that fact, however. 

You and he have been good to each other. Just two normal people who share a class together. 

Yet today, something feels off. Not that he’s done anything to make you uneasy. Quite the opposite to tell the truth. He’s done nothing at all. You know it’s your stupid best friend's words that are plaguing your mind. You can’t help but let your head get ahead of yourself. Let your mind wander. 

What if what she said was true? 

He’s been so nice to you. Who would volunteer to complete a whole ass group assignment by themselves?

Gosh, you’re being ridiculous now. Not everyone is the same. It doesn’t mean anything just because he did something nice for you. Besides, if he’s really interested he’d at least ask for your number, wouldn’t he? You shouldn’t let Daebi’s delusional ideas get to you. You shake your head to get rid of the silly thoughts. Turn your head to pay attention to the lecture. Which apparently is a good idea but acted upon a little late. Just as you turn your head, you’re met with your professor’s direct gaze landed up on you. Your eyes go slightly wide at the sudden attention.

“Anything interesting on your friend’s face Miss (___)?” He questions while crossing his arms across his chest. 

Oh!

You instantly go red at the professor's words. Cheeks burning. 

Embarrassing. This is oh so fucking embarrassing. And it turns worse when the whole class turns around to look at you. You would very much be glad if the floor could split up and swallow you whole. Unfortunately, that isn’t an option. Hence, your little bow and the muttered apology. 

“I’m sorry professor.” You’re not entirely sure that he heard it. He nods nonetheless. 

“Pay attention child.” 

You’re so relieved when he turns around to continue with the lecture with that. Yet the residue of your embarrassment remains. Your face is still burning, making you press your cold hands across it. Trying to soothe the flaming skin. It’s really hot here. But at least it won’t get any worse-

“You were staring at me?”

Of course, it can get much worse. You know your friend isn’t teasing you. He is not the type to tease. Still it feels like he is taunting. Making fun of you. You turn your gaze down toward your notebook. Wishing you had a hoodie to cover up your face as well. 

“Uh- it’s- it’s not like that, you know. I- I wasn’t staring-”

“I like that you were staring.”

You snap your head toward him so fast that you’re certain you just broke your neck. Mouth agape and eyes wide in surprise.

“What?”

“I would love it if you were looking at me.”

You close your mouth shut. Not knowing what to say. Besides everything, who would admit to such a thing? It's one thing to secretly like something like that but admitting it? 

He’s weird. 

“W-why?”

“Because, I like it.”

He states nonchalantly. Stark opposite to the way someone should say it. 

Wasn't he shy? He was so shy. He is not the kind of person to admit things like that. And this is so sudden. Something doesn’t feel right. Yet you don’t question it. Instead, you just pay your attention back to the lecture silently. Forcing yourself to believe that there is nothing wrong. It’s just your best friend’s words making you think something is up.

Who knows? Maybe he likes you? 

Does he like you?

Is that it?

If that’s the case you might have to make the air clear between you two before things get complicated. You love your boyfriend and you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Yet you can’t do that when you’re not certain about his feelings. 

Maybe you should just wait. Wait and see. 

……………………

You nuzzle your nose against your boyfriend’s chest. Whining and complaining. Hoseok chuckles softly, the sound reverberating through his chest in a soothing way.

“Oh gosh! Will you two stop acting like clingy cats? You know I’m fucking allergic to PDA.” Your best friend interrupts your sweet moment as she throws a pillow at you. It hits right across Hoseok’s face. 

“Yah!” He complains in annoyance as you regard your best friend with a scowl in your face. 

“Well this isn’t a public display of affection you idiot. We’re in our house and all of you damn annoying germlings should leave us to ourselves.” You point out the obvious, looking at each of your friends. They all, yet again, are in your sweet home. 

“Not until we come up with a plan for my birthday. This is really awkward, you know?” Daebi munches on some chips before continuing. “That I have to plan my own birthday. I have bunch of damn friends, and no one gives a fuck. I have to fucking surprise myself.” 

“You don’t necessarily give any of us any time to plan anything Daebi. You’ve been planning on your own birthday ever since your last one ended.” Jimin defends you all. You and your other friend Nina can’t help but snort unpleasantly at how true that statement is. Daebi pouts adorably. You think it’s ridiculous that she doesn’t have a boyfriend yet. She is so damn gorgeous and adorable that it’s baffling how boys aren’t swooning over her 24/7. 

“Okay, fine. My bad. I’m so fucking sorry Jimin.” She hisses at Jimin. “But still we need to plan my birthday. Tell me where we should go?” Yet doesn’t back away. All of you sigh frustratedly. Her birthday is a week away but you know she won’t shut up until you come up with a thorough plan. 

“Well, it’s your birthday so you should decide how to celebrate.” You finally pull away from Hoseok’s warm embrace. Daebi lights up instantly.

“Really? And you gonna agree with anything that I come up with?” Asks. You all nod in unison. “Yep.” Nina even adds. “And you won’t say no? Won’t back away at the last minute?” Daebi asks again. “Jesus, woman, we won’t. Go ahead with this shit please.” It’s Nina who mutters irritatedly again. 

“Elysium” This time Daebi doesn’t even blink as she excitedly bellows where she wants to celebrate her birthday. Yet only she looks excited. Aside from her, the entire room falls into a shocked silence. 

“You want to go where now?” Nina leans forward on her seat. Disbelief written all over her features. She asks the exact same question you wanted to ask. 

“The Elysium.” Deabi repeats with a nonchalant shrug. 

“Are you fucking serious Daebi?” Hoseok is the one who questions this time. His brows pulled together. 

“Yep.” Daebi looks around the room. “Why are you all looking at me like that?”

“Looking at you like that? Dude, you want to go to Elysium. The fucking Elysium. Of all the damn places you can choose, you want us to hang out in the shadiest and most dangerous club in the city?” You practically yell at her.

“Oh c’mon, that’s just a myth. It’s a club just like any other club in the city which has a bad reputation due to something some idiot said.” She argues with a straight face. 

“What if it’s not?” Jimin points a finger at her. 

“Then we’ll leave. No biggies. I’m fucking curious about the place guys. C’mon, you promised you won’t say no.” Daebi whines. 

“That was before you chose the fucking Elysium.” You groan. 

“That doesn’t matter. Trust me guys, it’s just another club. Why are you people like this? Let’s live a little, yeah? This is our college life, if we won’t do such things now, when will we?” She gets to her feet. Obviously mad at all of you. Ready to leave. Makes you feel bad but you still can’t agree to go out into the one place everyone should stay away. It’s just common knowledge. It’s undoubtedly an illegal club. Can go inside only with an invitation. Or so people say. So, you have no idea how Daebi plans to go inside even if you all agreed. 

“Okay, fine. But we will leave if anything suspicious happens, okay?” 

Just before Daebi turns around a voice next you adds with a heavy sigh. You snap your head to your right at light speed at the same time Daebi stops on her track. You gape at Hoseok in utter pure disbelief. 

“Really?” Daebis asks slowly.

“Really?” You shout loudly.

Hoseok turns to you first.

“I mean, it really can be a rumor baby. We’ll go inside, and if anything seems off, we’ll leave right away.” He assures you despite the uncertainty laced in his face. 

“Ha! We’re about to die on the day Daebi was born. What a way to go.” Jimin snickers before he gets up and disappears inside your kitchen. You look at Nina, hoping to have some back up on your side. She sighs heavily. 

“I really don’t know guys. As long as you keep me safe, I’m down.” She gets up as well. 

“No but-” You turn to Hoseok again. “You got nothing to be afraid of, baby. I Got you. C’mon it’s just for this once and she’s your best friend.”

He snakes a hand around your shoulders and pulls you into his body. Places a soft kiss in your hair. You squeeze your eyes shut in frustration. You swear you want to argue. Say no. But Hoseok has this soft spot inside your heart that makes it impossible for you to say no. 

Gosh this is so fucking annoying!

“Please.” Hoseok plants another kiss on your cheek. Then another. Another plea. And you’re melting. 

“Okay.” You relent at the seventh kiss to be precise. “But I swear to god Daebi-” You try to speak over the squeals Daebi is letting out. “-I’m gonna kill you both if anything happens. Yah! Are you listening to me?” You shout through the top of your lungs. Just to get ignored. Hoseok shakes you softly in his hold. You give up trying to negotiate. A smile creeps across your lips as your other two friends join you back again. 

“Still, you can’t go in without an invitation Daebi. How are we gonna manage that? Break in? Oh, God please don’t tell me that’s what you want.” Jimin points out a very valid question, sitting back with another packet of chips. Great. 

“Just leave that to me.” Daebi chirps excitedly. Everyone regards her with curious looks. Waits till she clarifies further. She doesn’t. Just smiles mischievously. Guess she has her ways and knowing Daebi, you know she won’t tell you even if you begged. So, you all leave that up to her. Just like she asks. 

……………………………

You knot the trash bag tightly. A sigh escapes your mouth as you pick it up to take outside. Despite how annoying it was to have your friends over at your place all the time, it gets a little bit lonely when no one is around. Your entire apartment feels hollow. So empty and quiet that the sound of a needle dropping would echo as a bomb detonating. You would’ve appreciated the peace if Hoseok was here, though. 

You click your tongue in annoyance, making your way toward the front door. All you want is one alone moment with your boyfriend without your friends around. And in the one time you get such a chance, Hoseok has to leave you alone for- in his words- much needed boys night. You asked Daebi to come over tonight, but it turns out she was busy for the first time in her life. 

Guess you are alone for the night. 

Crisp night air kisses your face the moment you exit the apartment building. You  shudder a little. You hate taking trash out but it was becoming unavoidable. The entire apartment was starting to smell like rotten cabbage slowly. That was your cue to tidy up the place. Hence, you’re using your one peaceful, lonely, shitty night to do just that. You open the lid of the trash bin and throw the bag inside. Trying not to breathe so the disgusting smell won’t reach your innocent nostrils. You close back the lid faster as possible. Drag in a deep breath when you do and turn around absentmindedly. 

“Hey!”

You jolt so hard that you almost lose your balance. A very inhuman scream escapes your throat. Your hands immediately go up to cover your face in a pitiful attempt of protecting yourself. 

“Shit! I’m so sorry. It’s just me.” A voice reaches you at the same time a pair of hands are shot up in a surrendering position. 

You instinctively step back. It takes your startled brain a good long minute to register what’s happening. To register the figure in front of you who suddenly emerges there. First thing you notice is a black hood. Then all you notice is black. Black clothing from head to toe. Face hidden behind that hood. 

No Name!

You exhale a shaky breath in relief. 

Fuck! You had thought that you died. 

“No Name? What the fuck! I nearly died, dude.” You finally manage to mumble in between your shaky breaths. Your head is still throbbing and your heart is running a marathon. 

“S-sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.” He meekly mutters with a gentle nod in his head. That makes you calm down completely. It’s just him. So, you nod in return. Place your hands on your hips. Let out a final breath of relief. Open your mouth to ask what the hell he is doing here when he starts looking for something inside his pants pocket. Few more seconds and he is stretching his palm out for you. A wallet placed on his outstretched palm. A pink one to be precise. A familiar one. Very. 

Wait! That’s yours. 

Your eyes go wide as you recognize your wallet. Hell, you hadn’t even realized it was missing until now. When did you lose it? Today? Yesterday? When did you last see him? How did he find it?

“I-is that mine?” You ask dumbly when you already know it’s yours. “H-how?” Ask again without any effort to take the wallet in your hand. 

“You left it in class the other day.” He answers simply. You blink at his face. That can’t be true. It’s been more than two days since your last lecture and there’s no way you were so oblivious to the fact that your wallet is missing. How come you never noticed?

But then again, he has it in his hands. There’s no other way for it to be in his possession. Maybe you accidentally left it there. Hoseok or someone else always paid for your food and stuff. Maybe you didn’t have to use your wallet. Or not. You’re not sure. You can’t remember. Using your wallet is such a normal and typical day to day activity that your brain hasn’t memorized the times or places you used it. 

“O-okay.” You hesitantly accept his answer in the end. Slowly take the wallet in your hand. “Th-thank you.” Show your gratitude with a deep bow. He just nods again. A silence falls as you awkwardly stare at the man who is standing before you when a sudden question pops up in your head. “Wait!” You perk up. “How did you..? Uh- how do you know where I live?” You ask, suddenly alert.  You’re pretty certain that you haven’t told him your address before. 

“Uh…” He  hesitates for a minute. Then a shrug. “Your friend.” Says making you even more confused. 

“Friend?” So you question back. Brows furrowed. 

“Your best friend. She told me she’s your best friend.”

“Daebi?”

“I guess so.”

“How did you meet her?” His answers don't ease your confusion but make it worse. Nothing makes sense to you. 

“Today at the cafeteria. I saw you together once on the campus. I-uh so I reached her when I saw her today.”

Oh, that makes sense. Only that Daebi failed to let you know about it. She should let you know when someone reached her and ask her about your whereabouts. But this is Daebi. She doesn’t think things through even just to save her life. Of course, she just gave away your address to someone like that. Good thing it’s just him. You sigh in defeat this time. Nod.

“Okay. Thank you again.” You finally smile at him. “You helped me again. Uh- I didn’t even notice that this was gone.” Show him your wallet. “Thank you so much Mr. No Name.” Ease up enough to joke around. Another bow. Another smile and then back to being awkward. “Uh..” You stall, staring at him. Not knowing what to do. “Um.. do you like… uh, wanna come inside?” You blurt out in the end. Yep. That’s the right thing to do. True, you don’t know him well besides the few times you met him at the classes. But you know him, nonetheless. He even finished your report for you. And now he brought your wallet which you didn’t know was missing. 

He takes a minute. Then nods. 

……………………

“Would you like a drink?” You ask your nameless classmate, already rummaging through the fridge. Receive no answer which forces you to turn around. “No Name?” You quip, feeling amused to see him looking around like a lost kitten. Funny, how you still haven’t seen his face. Only tidbits here and there. Now as he’s looking up, you catch a glimpse of a chiseled jaw. Only for a moment because he snaps his head toward you at your voice. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” 

He catches you off guard with that question. 

“Huh?”

“Your boyfriend? Where is he?” That’s the most this nameless, faceless guy has talked with you. And he asks such questions. You almost think there’s an underlying demand in his tone. You’re hearing it wrong probably.

“Out with the boys. Why?” So, you answer him anyway.

Of course, he doesn’t answer your question again. You wait for a few beats to pass hoping he’d continue the topic but when he doesn’t you decide to let it go. “So, do you want anything to drink? I have beer here. Or if you want anything-”

“What about your friend? The one I met. Your best friend.” He interrupts your little drinks offering. Nearly makes you mad about how he disregards your questions but interrogates you in return, as if he has any rights. 

“Why are you asking?” This time you don’t answer. 

“You don’t know?” 

“‘Course I do. But why would you want to know?” You’re slowly getting irritated. 

“Just asking. Because you’re alone here.” He answers so innocently that you instantly feel bad for feeling irritated even for a second.

“She has some assignments to finish.” 

He nods in response to your answer. End of that conversation. Right? But you swear you feel that it isn’t finished. As if he has more to say but is trying to keep it shut. There's a sudden tension that fills the air. You feel uncomfortable. Something seems off. Maybe it’s because of the fact that he doesn't normally talk this much. Or the fact he has appeared on your doorway with a wallet that you didn’t know was lost. Or simply you’re being ridiculous. Or-

“You’re really pretty!” If his previous questions caught you off guard, this one leaves you tongue-tied. Your mouth goes into a perfect shape of ‘o’. That is so sudden. Completely out of the blue.

Is that normal? Do people say stuff like that to others? 

“What?” When someone compliments you, the right thing to do is thank them. But this feels abnormal. 

“You’re really pretty. And I’d like to have a beer.”

Oh!

It’s very rare when you don’t know how to act or what to say. This apparently is one of those rare moments. So, you simply nod and hand him over a beer. Wait uneasily until he finishes it, in hope that he'll leave afterward. You want him to leave because you’re in discomfort. Something isn’t right. You can sense it. He doesn’t leave, however. No matter how long you wait, drowning in that uncomfortable silence, staring at his black hoodie, he doesn’t even show a sign of wanting to leave. If anything, he shifts uncomfortably in his position a few times. You note how he clutches the beer can tightly. He definitely has something to ask you. And you’re getting impatient. 

“Uh.. are you, um…” He leaves you with no other options but to ask. 

“I have a favour to ask.”

You knew it!

You’re surprised again, though. Never thinking that it was about a favor. But at least this makes it a little bit less awkward. Better than engaging in an alone staring competition. “Oh yeah? What is it?” You’re honestly happy to help him. He did that report for you after all. 

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“In the morning, yes. Why?” You furrow your brows. 

“Want to go out for a coffee with me?”

You thought surprises are over. Thought he was just complimenting you generally. Now, this doesn’t feel like that. Suddenly, Daebi’s voice haunts your mind again.  

Who knows? Maybe he likes you.

No. This can’t be that. He’s just asking. Like a friend. And you are fully allowed to decline the invitation. Which you should because you feel weird. Weird about something you can’t quite decipher. 

You inhale a shaky breath, preparing yourself to decline his offer. Mentally going through all the excuses you can offer when a sudden sound disrupts you both. Both of you snap your heads to where the sound came. Undoubtedly that was the sound of the front door opening. Makes you confused since no one would come here around this hour. You almost walk out of the kitchen thinking maybe it’s Daebi when your assumptions come wrong as the person who just entered your apartment just walks over to the kitchen.

“Hoseok?” You exclaim in surprise. It’s not even past 10 at night and you can’t believe he’s home this early. When they go out, he doesn’t usually come home at all for the night. This is a nice surprise. Even a gentle smile spreads across your face. You hurry over to your boyfriend. Just to stop after a few steps. Brows furrowing at the sight of your boyfriend scowling deep. It looks like something happened. Yet before you could ask, Hoseok turns away from you. His scowl deepens.

“You have company?” He grumbles, making you turn around as well. A figure standing in the middle of the kitchen comes to your vision. 

Oh, you forgot the presence of your classmate. 

“Oh, he was just bringing me my lost wallet.” You explain quickly.

“You lost your wallet?” Hoseok pays his attention back to you. 

“Well, I didn’t know that I lost it but apparently I have and he-”

“You didn’t know you'd lost your wallet.” Hoseok snaps suddenly and a quick jerk ripples through you. It’s rare when he gets mad. You quickly glance at the stranger in your house. Hoseok and you need to have this conversation later. He’s probably in a foul mood and letting it out on you. You gulp harshly before turning to the visitor. 

“Hey! I would- uh- see you in the next class. Thank you again for bringing my wallet. That’s so nice of you.” You still don’t want to appear rude and give him the impression that you want to get rid of him. You have no other choice though. Luckily for you Hoseok doesn’t intervene. He says nothing as you walk your friend back to the door. Says nothing nor does follow you until you bid goodbye to your nameless friend and return back to the kitchen. Only after then he speaks again.                    

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing (__)?” He lashes at you the moment you return to the kitchen. Makes you furrow your brows in mild annoyance.

“What?” You still try your best not to get mad and just talk this through. 

“Inviting some stranger inside?” 

“He’s no stranger. He’s this kid from my class. You even met him once and he was my partner on that darn assignment.”

“Yeah? The kid who you don’t even know the name of?”

Well, you have no answer for that. Maybe even when the guy wasn’t telling you his name, you should’ve at least tried to figure it out on your own. “See?” Hoseok continues in your silence. “He’s fucking weird (___). I mean, who the fuck keeps their face hidden all the damn time. And why the fuck he can’t tell you his name? Who is he? A fucking spy?” You watch at your boyfriend’s reddened face in partial anger and partial surprise. You don’t think that he should really make it that much of a big deal after all. “And you decided to invite him inside while you’re all alone?” He grits making you finally snap. 

“Yeah, and who’s fault was that?”

“Oh now it’s my fault? What is this now? I can’t even go out with my friends?”

“For fucks sake Hoseok! What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing. I’m just fucking mad to see my girlfriend is hanging out with this weird man when I come home.”

“He’s not fucking weird. Gosh, you guys are all so fucking mean.” You yell so loud that Hoseok instantly shuts his mouth before you turn around on your heel. Leaving him alone in the kitchen and making a beeline toward your bedroom. See, it’s not that you really wanted to defend No Name against your boyfriend. He was weird to tell the truth. You were so uncomfortable with him and are so glad that Hoseok made an appearance right at the time. Yet, the fact Hoseok isn’t clearly interested in your well being but just letting out something else on you makes you so angry. Hence your sudden outburst. 

You don’t even look back as you storm into your shared bedroom and slam the door shut behind you. Hoseok can sleep on the couch tonight. 

………………….

This has been the longest you’ve fought with each other. Ever since you started dating, which wasn’t that long ago, you haven’t really fought except for a little argument here and there. Now, after a week of tiptoeing around each other, you feel like shit. It’s completely your fault, to be honest. Hoseok had knocked on your bedroom door and apologized right away. Had begged you to open the door. It was you- stupid, stubborn- you who had started another fight right that moment. And Hoseok hadn’t apologized after that. Which is very fair. If someone has to apologise, it should be you. Something that you’ve failed to bring yourself to do so far. 

You sigh wearily as the professor starts today’s lecture. You’re once again seated on the far end of the lecture hall. Next to the very same guy who caused a fight with your boyfriend. The same guy who made you feel so uneasy and asked you out for a coffee. You’ve convinced yourself he only meant it as a friendly gesture. It was your shameless twisted mind that had misunderstood it. And you’ve decided to ignore the way he called you pretty. That’s why you’ve decided to sit at your usual seat. 

Despite everything, things have been going normally with No Name for your pleasure. He hasn’t acknowledged you really. Which is how normally it is and you’re pleased. You’ve asked him how his day was and he has only just nodded. See, he was just being nice and it was you who made it awkward that day. You mentally slapped yourself for the millionth time at the thought of how wrong you were to interpret something like that. 

Everything will definitely be okay if you just apologize to your boyfriend. You plan to do that tonight. Before going to celebrate Daebi’s birthday. It’s finally the day and you really didn’t have a time to dread the moment. Because you were actively busy with being mad at your boyfriend, you forgot to be afraid of going into a shady club tonight. 

Well, all the more reasons to apologize to your boyfriend before you die tonight. 

“Is he still mad at you?” The voice is so unexpected that your body does a mini jolt. Your head snaps to your left where your new friend sits. “Your boyfriend.” He clarifies without you asking. You chuckle nervously, wishing it would sound like scoffing. 

“Why would he be mad?” Ask in return. 

“Because I was there. Did he ask you to stop seeing me?” 

You take your time at that question. You think it’s impressive how he really knows Hoseok was mad because he was there. Yet, that question feels personal. You’re not that close to discussing things like this.

“Of course, no.” You scoff this time for real. “Why would he do that? He was just upset about something that happened with his friends.” You explain though there is no reason to do such a thing. Your friend just hums. 

And there it comes again. A feeling that there is something he’s not telling you. Like he knows something you don’t. It wasn’t about the coffee, was it? No. This is something else. You badly want to question what it is but the class ends before you could. And you change your mind after that. It would sound crazy if you ask something like that anyway. Yet the feeling never ceases. It hangs in the air while you walk back out. It hangs between you when you bid goodbye and be ready to part your ways. It hangs in your mind even when you turn around and walk a few steps away and hear him calling for you suddenly. 

You turn around curiously. 

“What about the coffee?” He shouts aloud since you’re too far across to talk in a normal voice. 

Again?

“I-uh…” You’ve really hoped that he’d forgotten it by now. That he’d let it go. You hate when you have to turn down people. You’re a people pleaser. 

“That’s fine if you don’t want to.” He shouts back while you just try to come up with something. You almost take a step forward. A sincere apology is at just the tip of your tongue. “See you later (___)!” Yet he beats you to it. Turns around and walks away. Leaving you to just gape at his retrieving back. 

You feel uneasy. An uneasy feeling. But what’s most annoying is the fact that you really can’t pinpoint it. Yet still it is there. He knows something that you don’t.

………………………… 

You stand near the bar adjusting the hem of your short dress. Trying to pull it down. You chose this dress and there’s no one else to blame but your stupid self. After a few useless attempts you give up. You stand beside Nina. All of your other friends, including your boyfriend, have gone for a smoke. 

“It looks okay? Isn’t it?” Nina snaps you out of your thoughts. You scan the dimly lit club for what must be the hundredth time before answering her. “I mean yeah. Like it looks okay but who knows?” You’re still not completely on board for this idea. If it weren’t for Daebi, you’d rather study your entire degree all over again than be here. True, it really looks like a normal club- just duller than the ones you’ve previously visited and crowded with much older people than young college kids. Yet that doesn’t mean this is an illegal club where all these people are criminals in one way or another. 

Daebi can be completely correct. This reputation Elysium has can be just a myth. Something someone made up. Something people like to believe because of the invitation system. You still have no idea how Daebi managed to get you an invitation. She somehow did and now you’re standing here stupidly. 

“Ugh, I’m pretty sure nothing’s wrong. All of these people look normal.” Nina adds after your negative response.

“Of course, they are Nina. What do you expect? For these people to kill each other?”

She tries to counter but stops when Jimin joins you back. Closely followed by the birthday girl and Hoseok. You and Hoseok haven’t made up yet. This time it’s his fault. You’ve tried your best to apologize and resolve the issue. It was him who had avoided you saying you should talk about this later. Now you would have to wait until the night is over to patch things up with him.

“See guys? Told you it’s just a myth. This is just another normal club with lots of drinks.” Daebi squeals. Walks to you and drapes an arm around your shoulder. 

“How would you know for sure?” You shrug her hand off. You still feel off. Something feels off. Call it a gut feeling. Maybe this feeling has nothing to do with this place since you’ve been feeling this way for quite some time now. Ever since the day Mr. No Name brought your wallet to your house. Daebi clicks her tongue. 

“Look around you (__),” She grabs your chin to forcefully make you do as she asks. You take brief glances over at people drinking, dancing, grinding, kissing, making out and doing every other thing they would do in a club. “Can you see anything illegal happening?” Asks. No. That’s the answer. But why on the earth your friends can’t understand that dangers don’t always lie on the surface. These people might seem harmless but there's a fat possibility that someone is carrying a gun in their front pant pocket. Casually. Just like someone would carry their mobile. You try to tell the exact same thing. Hoseok interrupts you before you can, however. 

“Oh c’mon, (__). Just fucking loosen up a bit. You don’t have to kill the mood every time. Just grab a drink and have fun.” He barks, making you completely speechless. Really? Shouldn’t he take your side? You would’ve gotten really mad at him again if it wasn’t for Jimin just reassuringly patting your shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s really fine (__). We won’t keep you in a dangerous place. C’mon, let’s have a drink.” He guides you toward the bar with the hand on your shoulder. You throw a disappointed glance at Hoseok, which he disregards completely. As if you don’t exist at this moment. 

“You guys go ahead, I just want to use the bathroom.” Instead he mumbles. Turns around and almost leaves when Daebi perks up. 

“Me too. Coming?” She asks Nina. Not you. Well, that’s fine.

“Nah. Just go ahead.” Nina turns to you. Daebi gives a ‘whatever’ kind of nod before disappearing after Hoseok. 

………………………

Night officially started for your party over an hour ago. Yet you aren’t even tipsy. Haven’t even started to feel it. Fair, considering that you’ve been sipping the same glass of wine ever since Jimin brought it to you. This is not how you normally act. It’s unfair of Hoseok to say you always ruin the fun. You know how to have fun. You and he always have fun. An involuntary pout graces your features at the reminder of his hurtful words. It’s just you don’t feel it tonight. At this specific place. You really wish your boyfriend would just understand that. 

You take another small sip from your glass of wine. Alone at the bar. All of your friends have gone to enjoy the night with whatever they like to do. You can see Nina and Jimin rocking it on the dance floor from where you are seated. Hoseok and Daebi, however, are nowhere to be seen. Makes you really worried. You want to make sure everyone is okay. You want to keep an eye on each and everyone. 

A frown appears on your forehead after you try in vain to catch a sign of your boyfriend or best friend for the ninth time .  Maybe you should just give up and get completely wasted. 

Yes you should just do that. 

With one last heavy sigh you bring the glass to your lips. Almost succeed when a sharp voice interrupts you. 

“You might want to slow down with that, young lady.” You just avert your gaze to the owner of that voice. A man. Probably a lot older than you. You disregard his presence and his words as you down the entire glass. “Woah!” He exclaims with an amused smile. 

You intend to ignore him further. That’s your plan. Yet you still give him a polite smile just so you won’t come out like a rude bitch. A mistake. 

“Next drink is on me but take it slow beauty.” He mumbles in a way which you know that he thinks is charming but sounds comical to your ears. Already turns to the pretty bartender. “One more-”

“No thanks. I’m good.” You stop him before he can continue, drawing his attention back to you.

“Why not?”

“I’m just not in a mood to drink.”

“Now, that is a very obvious lie. You were drinking wine like it was water sun shine. You’re hurting my feelings. Don’t be like that. Let’s just have one drink.” You should’ve thought more about the lies you tell. Too late now. But you really don’t want to accept a drink from a stranger. He doesn’t look shady but just a little bit older. It’s just you haven’t completely let your guard down. You shake your head while almost standing up to leave.

“I’m really good. Thank you.” 

Almost. Even before you can place your feet properly on the floor a glass of wine is placed in front of you with a loud thud. You gasp at the unexpected sound. Take a moment to realize what’s just happened. That’s only when you turn your head to look at the man’s face. Dark. Not a single sign of a smile. Your throat goes dry instantly. 

“No one says ‘no’ to me princess. A bitch should know her place after all. Now drink up.”

What now?

You gape at the man as if he has grown two heads. This is not good. You should leave immediately. But the man doesn’t look like he’d appreciate you suddenly leaving. You shift your gaze from his face to the drink that has been put on the counter. Then back to the man. He raises a menace eyebrow. You have no idea what he would do to you if you refuse again. You’ve met your fair share of drunken assholes while clubbing. Yet all those assholes were just pathetic college kids and nobody has ever called you a bitch. No one. 

This man must’ve looked normal a minute ago but now he seems like someone who could kill someone with his bare hands. “Drink up you little whore.” He suddenly spits out. You inhale a shaky breath. Maybe you shouldn’t show any weakness. Maybe you should argue and stand up and leave with your head held high. But then for your great dismay you undoubtedly notice the silver of metal glinting from the pocket of his coat. If you think your throat went dry earlier now you’re certain you’ve eaten sand. Heart is starting to beat madly. Head is starting to pound violently. 

You were right after all. This place wasn’t just having a negative reputation. It’s true. What you’re just seeing in his pocket is undoubtedly a grip of a gun. You’ve never seen one in real life but the movies exist. You know it’s a gun. And somehow you know it’s not just a plaything. 

Act cool. Act cool.

You shouldn’t show that you’re scared.

You eye the drink again. Mind swirling around all the possibilities that would occur if you try to just leave. What could he do? Shoot? There are people around here. He wouldn’t be able to get away after firing at a college girl. Would he now? You decide you don’t want to find out. It’s your life. You can’t take a risk. It’s just a drink after all. You can just drink it and then find an excuse to leave. With that thought you just don’t waste any time. Just grab the drink and drown it in one go, hoping that’d be the end of the ordeal. But of course who were you kidding, after all. Just as the glass is emptied, it is filled to the brim again. Then again. And at the fourth drink you decide to slow down, understanding that you downing drinks faster than a thunder won’t be of any help for you at all. 

“There you go princess. See, it wasn’t that hard now.” The older man smiles at you which looks like an ugly sneer to you. It must be more than half an hour now. Where the hell are your friends? On top of all, where the hell is your so-called boyfriend? Why’s no one coming to save you? You take a brief glance at the dance floor for what must be the hundredth time. No sign of Jimin or Nina. They’ve disappeared somewhere in between your first encounter with this man and your first drink. It looks like you’re all on your own at this rate. You’d have to come up with something. 

“Guess so.. Yeah.” You take another harsh sip. Nervously. Trying to hide the tremble in your hands. “Would you mind if I go to the restroom quickly?” You question hoping him to not take your bait at all. Hundred presently. But then your eyes go completely wide at his response. “Of course not. Why are you even asking?” A chuckle escapes his lips. You, however, don’t wait to ponder your sudden luck. Just as the words leave his mouth you’re on your feet. Already on a half run toward where your head turns. You don’t even check where the bathrooms are. Just in desperate hope to find at least one of your stupid friends. Then just leave this damned place. You may have lucked out once, but that doesn’t mean you will again. You need to get the hell out of this place. 

………………..

You rush through the sweaty bodies. Pushing past annoyed people. Your head throbbing painfully. Maybe you’ve drunk too much. Even your sight is getting blurry. You look around in panic. Still no sign of your friends. You’re starting to feel nauseous. Something doesn’t feel right. So far, you've been lucky that the scary man hasn’t followed you. Yet everything feels far scarier to you suddenly. Every man and woman you pass. Every glance they cast your way. Every word they murmur. They all look like they’re about to kill you. Your heart pounds in your ears now. You barely can hear the loud music over the roar in your own ears. 

Where are they?

Where the fuck are they?

You mumble an apology to another man you accidentally bump into.

“Watch where you’re going, you little tramp!” He spits. You shrink away instantly. Your headache is intensifying. In your haste to get away from him you bump into someone else. 

“Holy shit!” You turn around to find a woman. Her drink has spilled all over her. You probably did that. You try to apologize but she shoves you away before you could. “Move!” Shouts as she does. You lose your balance at the force. Or not. Maybe she didn’t push you that hard, but you’re too drunk to stay on your feets. Your hands try in vain to grab something when you stumble back. You brace for the impact, but it never comes. Instead your back hits something, or someone, saving you from presumably hitting your head. You almost let out a sigh in relief. Almost though. Even before you can begin, you are turned around harshly by your arm.  

A whimper escapes you. It’s the same man who called you a tramp. One look at his furious face tells you that you’ve fucked up.

“S-sorry.” You mumble so fast that you stutter pathetically. It’s like your word doesn’t even reach him, however. 

“The fuck’s wrong with ya?” He growls. His grip tightens. 

Oh, no, no, no. 

How did you escape one danger only to end up in another? Why can’t you be careful? Why can’t you just walk straight? 

“I- I’m so-”

“Can’t even walk straight, huh? Stumblin’ round like some dumb bitch lookin’ for trouble.” 

You really want to say no. Want to argue. But his words are slowly drifting away. Like he’s moving farther away from you. 

“What? Too drunk to speak now?” His fingers dig into your arm, yanking you forward. His stinking breath hits your nostrils. You’re going to throw up. 

Oh god what’s happening?

You’re sweating like a pig. Sounds around you are getting overwhelming. People’s voices are echoing inside your skull. 

Why can’t you find anyone?

Why is this place getting hotter?

“Or…. is this your way of hitting on me you little minx? That it? Ain’t gotta go fallin’ all over me like some desperate little slut. Shoulda just asked, sweetheart.” The gruff man’s voice suddenly comes into your senses. 

No. No..

What is he even talking about?

You try to protest weakly. Try to disagree. But words don’t come out. Your throat is burning. So is your chest. Things don’t make sense to you. Yet at the same time you know you’re in danger. Warning alarms ring inside your head. And your head nearly explodes in panic when the man starts to drag you forward. Away from the crowd. 

“No..” You finally find your voice. It’s strained. As if you’ve not used it for years. Sounds like it’s not yours. “No..” You try to yank your arm free to no avail. The man’s grip is like iron. Besides, you're in no position to fight. 

Could a few glasses of wine do this?

This is not the first time you got drunk. You’ve certainly drunk more than this but have never felt this way. Too fucked up. Too out of it. You have no control over your body. Just your mind in high alert and trying to escape. 

“No. Let me go.” Still, you keep trying. Keep trying to free yourself from the harsh, disgusting hand on your arm. It doesn’t work. God, it doesn’t work. Before you know, you are dragged into an empty backroom. Before you know, the man pushes you into a wall. You hit the concrete behind you with a loud thud. A sharp jolt of pain shoots across your body at the collision. As if your spine just snapped. You yelp in pain which he disregards completely.

Instead of worrying about your possible broken back, he instantly throws himself at you. You do your best to turn your head away just before his chapped lips can land on yours. Makes him mad apparently. He snarls something you really don’t hear. But you certainly do feel the sting when his palm hits your face. A loud gasp leaves past your lips. Weak limbs come forward to fight with a man who’s strong like a bull. You try to push the scumbag away. Try to claw at his arm, face, any place you find. 

It doesn’t work.

You’re too weak.

The man tangles his rough fingers in your hair. Yanks your head back. You cry out. You can’t even scream. He holds your head in place. You writhe in your place. Trying desperately to wrench yourself away. Your mind screams the words you can’t get out. 

No… Don’t. 

You don’t even realize that you’ve been crying. At least not until you start to taste your own tears. 

None of your efforts succeeds. You feel his breath on your face first. Then his dry lips ghosts over yours. Bile rises in your throat. A strangled sob finds its way out. You close your eyes tightly. Finally accepting the defeat. Brace yourself to feel his rotten lips engulfing yours whole. But then just a millisecond before that happens, you hear a loud groan. Groan in a painful way. 

Something wet splashes across your face. 

Something hot. 

You snap your eyes open. Just in time to find the man being yanked back by a figure. Your attacker's hand leaves your body and hair. This time, instead of grabbing you, he clutches his own neck with both hands. Grumbling. Gurgling. 

It takes your shocked brain a minute to understand anything. 

A long minute.

Then you see blood. Red, hot blood. Dripping down from your attacker's throat to the floor. Seeping through his fingers. His hands are covered in bright red. Then you hear the choked, wet gasps he is leaving out. 

Blood.

Wounded.

You didn’t know it is possible to feel more scared. More terrified. Yet here you are. Eyes wide in horror and not being able to breathe properly. 

Blood.

Blood.

Blood.

Only one word rings inside your head. Blood everywhere. It was blood that splashed in your face. You press yourself more against the wall desperately just as the man falls into the floor. A loud thud erupts. Your eyes naturally follow the movement. Catching the gruesome image of him writhing on the dirty floor. And you see that a sleek silver metal is buried in the side of his throat. Blood oozing from where it’s swallowed by torn flesh.

A chopstick!

Your heart rate slows down. Vision is starting to turn dark. Your hands unconsciously come up to cover your own mouth. Legs give up. You fall down halfway against the wall when a second figure lunges at the man on the floor. In a blink of an eye the second man pulls out the chopstick from your attacker's neck. Makes blood stream down like a waterfall. Then even without a second thought the newcomer pierces the chopstick through the first’s shoulder. A loud scream erupts from the first. Yet does nothing to stop the man with the chopstick. He pulls it out again. Attacks the other’s chest. Pulls out again. Then stabs a different spot. 

“How” Pulls out again. “Dare” Stabs again. “You.” Pulls out. “Fucking” Stabs. “Touch” Pulls out. “Her.” Stabs. Stabs. Stabs. Blood splashing everywhere. Each time a new spot. Merciless weak cries fill the air. 

And your hands fail to keep your mouth shut anymore. This time who lets out a weak scream which is nothing but a pathetic whimper turns out to be you. Your eyes wide in horror and body trembling like a leaf in a storm. Yet no matter how weak the sound you make, he hears it nonetheless. 

The second man who just pulled out the chopstick once more and ready to attack the man back stops dead at your sound. 

Fuck! Fuck, fuck. 

You shouldn’t have screamed.

You shouldn’t have grabbed the attention.

It’s already too late, however. That second someone turns his head back. Toward you. A second pass. And at the same time you almost turn around to run away he gets to his feet, abandoning the now wounded man whimpering and crying on the floor. Drops the chopstick to the floor and it clatters against the dirty concrete. Your delayed attempt to run is futile as a pair of hands wrap around you tight. Before you can even make a sound, your face is buried in a broad, heaving chest, its rapid heartbeat pounding against your ear. You yet again fail to make sense of the situation.

What’s happening?

“I’m so sorry. I was a bit late. So sorry (__).” 

A voice reaches you. A voice that is breathless. Hands protectively wrapped around your shaking body.

Your brain instantly falls into an alerting mode. The first thought that crosses your mind is that this person is going to hurt you too. Hence, your weak and pathetic attempt to wriggle free. Of course, it doesn’t work. It won’t work. You’re still very much in the same state you’ve been a minute ago. Still too out of it. If anything, you feel more vulnerable now. Growing weaker and weaker by every passing second. 

The newcomer, however, starts to gently rock you. Trying to soothe your trembling, writhing body. Shushing you softly. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just me (__). It’s just me.”

You have no idea who this me is. At least for a second you don’t. Then somewhere in the back of your mind a bell rings. A familiar voice, isn’t it? You’ve heard it before. So close. You know this person. You know him, to be precise. 

With a great struggle against his vice hold you manage to turn your head up to catch sight of a black hoodie. You can’t see a face because the face is covered in the said hoodie. You inhale a shaky breath as you recognize him. Sure, you watched him before but it’s only now that things are registering in your mind. 

“N-no n-name?” 

“Yeah,” He holds you tightly again. You think you hear a hint of joy in his voice. “Yeah, it’s just me. It’s fine. Calm down baby.” He murmurs in your ear. 

Baby?

Your panicked mind runs a mile a minute to make sense of the situation. How quickly things are happening. You were just fine half an hour ago. With your friends. And then this happens? And he is here? Why is he here? 

It’s just me…

It’s just fine…

Fine !Fine?

What’s fine? Someone tried to fucking assault you. And that someone is now half- dead. He- your damn classmate- brutally attacked him, didn’t he? It’s like a whole another realization that dawns upon you. He stabbed that man with a fucking chopstick. Mr. No Name- a college kid who is just like you did that. 

Oh, god!

This can’t be happening right now. You need space. Can’t breathe. You want him to move. Don’t want him touching you. He has blood on his hands.

True, he saved you by doing so. If it weren’t for him, you’d be lying somewhere, unable to fight back, facing the cruelest fate. You’re a teeny bit glad but nonetheless you’re scared to death. A man is dying in front of your eyes. You saw a man with a pierced throat. You saw blood spurting out of his body. Eyes open and becoming soulless. 

And the person who caused that,- this kid is saying to you that it’s fine. 

No! Nothing’s fine. You want to run away. You need someone who you can truly trust. Need your boyfriend. Need Daebi. Someone who’s not a murderer. You try to push him away. He, however, doesn’t take the hint. Instead of letting you go, he hugs you into his body even tighter. 

“It’s fine baby. Just calm down. I’m so sorry.” He places a hand on the back of your head. Holds you so close. So gently. As if you’re made of fine china. As if you’d break if he touches you a little rougher. Buries his face in your neck. His breath hits your skin soothingly. Rocks you ever so gently. Oh, so gently that you almost calm down. Despite all the chaos and the horror of what he’s done, you find sudden solace in his arms. Maybe that’s because you’re familiar with him. Or it’s just how he holds you. Allowing you to sob into his chest. Whatever that is, it could’ve worked perfectly if it wasn't for his next actions. If it wasn’t for the sudden hot, wetness you feel on your neck. And his shaky breath. You snap out of the false sense of protection you’ve been feeling instantly at the sensation of his lips pressing against your skin. Ready to move away. 

He doesn’t let you. 

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs again. 

“Wh-what are you.. Le-let me?” You stutter. Your still confused, frozen brain struggles to react. You’re so slow on your movements that your efforts on moving away does nothing but expose more of your skin for him to pepper with soft-wet kisses. He kisses every inch of skin he can find. Over and over again. As if he’s going mad. 

“So sorry, princess.” He mumbles as if it's some kind of mantra. In between his sloppy kisses. Nuzzles your neck with his nose. Inhales. Groans. Like he’s getting drunk on your smell.

No. 

Oh shit!

He likes you. 

It’s too late now. You’ve waited too long. 

Why does that matter now? 

What are you even thinking?

What matters is the fact that a person is dying. You can still hear the gasps he’s letting out. You can still hear the sound of blood flowing out his weak body.  

He killed a man. He’s kissing you over a dying man’s body. You shut your eyes tight. In a desperate attempt to find strength. To escape reality. As if everything would change once you open your eyes. Yet as soon as you close your eyes, your mind is plagued with blood. Splitted throat. Wet chokes. 

A cry tangles in your throat as you open your eyes back.

You want to run away. Want to hide. You’re going to be sick. 

But then his warm lips press on your pulse point. And regardless of your horrified state a shudder ripples through you. A sensation that almost makes your toes curl.

What? What’s happening?

How come you feel that way when you’re so scared? How is it that your body doesn’t comply with your mind? 

“Y-you ca-can’t-” Another failed attempt. Another bunch of words that don’t even reach his ears. He seriously can’t be doing that now? Among million other reasons why he can’t, the fact that he almost killed a damn man holds the highest spot. What kind of monster someone should be to be able to kill and then casually forgets it. 

Your classmate apparently does. Which means he is that kind of a monster. He’s acting like nothing happens. Like it’s his right to hold you like this. Kiss you like this. He changes the path of his kissing. Trails his lips along your jawline. Toward your cheek. Inching closer and closer to your lips. And for a second time, you tremble like a leaf. Not from fear. No. Purely due to the sensation he’s creating. Your mind is going numb. Your senses are becoming dull.

You’re losing it completely. 

Despite what you really want, your body is giving away. 

You should shove him away. You should scream at him. You should run away. 

But you can’t. 

You feel tired. Exhausted. You can’t fight anymore. Not that you’ve been doing an effective job at that previously either. You were already lost. So, you give up. Your hands fall limp between you. You give into the sensation while your mind still screams. While your stomach still churns awfully. While tears still flood down your cheeks and your heart still pounds violently. While you’re still very scared, you do nothing when his lips find yours. 

How ridiculous this situation is. He saved you from an assaulter just to become another one. Only different is the way you’re just standing there as his lips are pressed hard against you. For a minute. Then he is moving them. His tongue gently licks along the seam of your lips. You don’t intend to understand the silent invitation and open your mouth. Yet, that’s what you do. Unintentionally. As if your body is doing something you’re very familiar with. You open your mouth immediately. Welcoming his soft tongue to explore your insides. He does that very eagerly. Licking inside your mouth and sucking on your tongue. Groaning. And you can’t stop moaning into his mouth in return.  

Can’t stop curling your toes when he roams his hands over your body. Your waits, your back, and your ass. He squeezes your soft flesh and you feel a fire lighten inside you. That fire turns into lava and shoots across your veins when he presses his lower abdomen against your body. Letting you feel the unmistakable hardness inside his denim. 

It feels good. No matter how wrong that is, it still feels good. No matter that you’re still terrified and want nothing but to run away, this feels good. Too good to be precise. Ecstatic as he slowly starts to grind that hardness into you. So, you moan again. Moan into the searing kiss. Delwing in the sensation of his hands, hard cock, and his soft lips. 

He kisses you sensually. Like a gentle lover. Carefully. Oh, so lovingly.You would’ve believed he loves you if it wasn’t for the situation. The truth is he doesn’t. He’s taking advantage of you.  And you feel so helpless. 

Why’s no one coming down this path?

How’s no one seeing that someone is wounded?

Oh, god! Someone is dying. The killer is kissing you. He’s holding you with blood splattered hands. 

You need to stop this. You should just try again.

And so you do—only for it to be in vain, of course. Trying to shove him away with weak hands. This time, however, after a few efforts he actually pulls away. Just to rest his forehead against you. Sharing the same breath. You hold onto his black hoodie for your dear life. You’ll fall your ass down otherwise. A sob after a sob still escaping your dry lips. You do your best not to look down. To not look at the man. At blood. Instead you try to focus on breathing. Because it has become so difficult. 

“You’re fine baby. I’m so sorry.” He brings your attention back to him. You say nothing. You’re not capable. “I promise I didn’t mean to let someone else touch you. I’m sorry I was late.” So, he continues in your dead silence. “It was only meant for me. It was supposed to be just a little dose.” A kiss into your hair. “Just to loosen you up for me. I never meant to scare you so much. Oh, baby-” His grip tightens. “I didn’t mean to scare you, hm?” 

A kiss to your forehead. 

It’s like your brain works extra slow. It’s like his words come from such a distance that it takes you time to register them.

A kiss to your crown line. 

“I really didn’t mean to let someone else touch you. I’m so sorry.”

What did he say now?

Supposed?

A little dose?

A kiss to your temple.

Your heart beat is getting slower. Dots slowly but surely getting connected in your heavy mind. 

Only meant for me.

To loosen you up for me. 

Little dose! A dose! Loosen up! A dose!

Drugs!

You’ve been drugged. 

Suddenly, everything makes sense. The reason for all of this. For your weak body. Why your body doesn’t comply with your mind. He drugged you. The man back there, drugged you. No. No. Wait. It wasn’t him. 

It’s this person. Your classmate. 

He drugged you!

And then he killed a man. Or tried to. 

This time you tremble actually from the fear. A fear that engulfs you whole that you’re certain there’s no way of getting rid of it. Yet you scream. For the first time in this night you manage to get your voice out. A shrill scream. Enough to awaken the dead. You manage to at least make a distance between you two even if you still couldn’t push him completely away. 

With your head still violently pounding and spinning you manage to take a step to your side. Not completely knowing what you’re doing. Just wanting to get away. But he’s quicker than you. His hands are on you even before you know it. Holding you tight. Preventing you from running away. 

“Hey! Hey! (___), it’s fine. It’s fine now. You’re going to be okay.”

“No. No. Stay away from me!” You shriek. “No.” Your vision is turning dark. In a minute everything turns back into a desperate struggle. You’re struggling to get away. He’s struggling to keep you stay put. 

“Baby please! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

What is he even talking about?

“Let me go please.” You mutter under your breath one last time before completely giving up. Your body once again being victim to the extreme exhaustion you’re feeling. He just doesn’t listen to you, however. Says the only things he’s been saying all these time. That you’re fine. And you almost make up your mind to accept your fate. Accept that there’s no way of getting away. Away from this night. This nightmare. You almost believe that you will never be able to wake up. That you're forever trapped in his vice grip. Yet, just as you’re about to fall limp against his hold, a shadow of a figure appears in the doorway. Suddenly. Rushed sounds follow it. 

You snap your head toward the sound. Hope bubbling inside you. Hope that is paired with a fear that you’re not getting any help. A fear that everything is about to get worse if that’s even possible. But as you turn your head you’re met with an extremely familiar pair of brown orbs. Panicked. Wide. Face twisted ugly in fear. Panting harshly.

Jung Hoseok!

A breath you didn’t know you were holding escapes you immediately. Relief flushes over your every cell. 

“Hoseok!” You cry out. In relief. Your tears suddenly turn out to be ones of joy. “Hoseok.” You repeat. Voice a breathless whisper. His eyes land directly on you. His panicked eyes. Then he averts his gaze down. Despite your best efforts you follow his line of vision. Eyes back on the man on the floor. Throat pierced and covered in blood. Your stomach churn awfully again. 

“Holy fuck!” Hoseok curses, turning pale like cold ashes. Everything shifts into a frozen stillness following his curse. For a second. It’s like things are happening in slow motion. Like it’s a movie instead of your very reality. Only the club music and distant people chattering fills the air.  

“(___), fuck. Fuck, let her go!”

That voice breaks the stillness and everything comes crashing back into motion. You barely recognize that voice to be Jimin’s. Arms around your body tightens like a coiled serpent. Like a trap. Holding you tight. Tight like a drowning man clutching a lifeline. Like he’s afraid. Afraid that you’ll go. As he should since that’s your intention. You thrash against his iron-like grip. Clenching your jaw. 

Only now do you realize that Hoseok hasn’t been alone. Somewhere in between the tightening grip around you and your struggle you’ve noted each of your friends one by one. 

Jimin is the one who jumps into action first. Who breaks the shock of seeing fresh blood oozing from a dying man first. He lashes at your captivator like an enraged lion. Then just after a split second Hoseok does the same. 

A harsh punch thrown in your classmate’s face by Jimin and you feel the grip around you loosens. Then you’re being completely free from the tight hold. You barely catch the sight of Jimin grabbing your nameless friend’s hoodie and the way he does the same to Jimin’s. 

And everything happens so fast for you to comprehend. A fleeting hug of comfort and you’re pushed into your best friend’s hand. Hoseok and Jimin tackle down your ex-classmate together. For a skinny, quiet kid, he sure has a lot of strength. Yet is facing defeat against two other men. You hear lots of groans and curses. The sound of bones cracking. You see the livid faces of Hoseok and Jimin. And you think they’re going to kill the kid. 

You’re paralysed with fear. Being able to do nothing but just watch. 

They’re going to kill him.

Someone else is going to die. 

He’s about-

Daebi lets go of you suddenly. You don’t even get a second to process what’s happening before Daebi is barrelling at the mound of human balls on the floor. Then she’s doing her best to yank Jimin off from the kid’s body. Trying to stop him from landing punch after harsh punch in his already battered face. When she fails, she tries to get Hosoek away. While you and a frozen Nina just watch. 

“No.” Daebi’s voice mixes into the disgusting noises of bone cracking and whimpering. “No. You’d kill him. Hoseok, stop it.” She tries her best to no avail. Two men don’t even budge. But the good thing is your best friend doesn’t know when to give up either. “There’s someone dying. We-” She yanks from Hoseok’s arm. Says something you can’t hear. Then all of sudden she yells through the top of his lungs.“Someone is fucking wounded Hoseok. We need to go.” That somehow does the trick. Hoseok stops his violence immediately. As if he just remembers the man just lying a few feets apart from them. He turns his head toward the said man. Then at you. You watch as indecision flashes across his eyes. And you think he wouldn’t care. But just as the thought crashes in your mind, Hoseok rushes into his feet. He yanks Jimin apart from the now beaten guy far more easily than Daebi. 

“No. That’s enough Jimin. We need to go.” He practically dargs Jimin back. Jimin protests. Violently. But Hoseok manages to drag him away. Away from the kid who’s lying down on the floor. And for the first time you see his face. Face covered in blood. Ruined. Pink pretty lips you’ve grown to admire are splitted. But even in this state you just know he’s breathtaking. You have no time to admire anymore, however. Just after that brief glance, you find your face buried in Hoseok's broad chest. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry baby.” He mutters into your hair as new sobs ripple through your body. You will never be the same again. Have no idea what’s going to happen next. Yet your friends are arguing. Or at least Jimin and Daebi are. Nina is just staring ahead. Emptily.

“We need to leave.” Daebi hisses hurriedly. 

“For fucks sake Daebi, there’s someone dying, we need to help him.” Jimin hisses back.

“Yeah? And what do you think would happen then? That someone would come and give you a fucking medal for saving his life?”

“Then what? We’re leaving him to die?”

“Yes!” Daebi shouts so loud that you wince. “That’s exactly what we’re doing. C’mon let’s go.” She almost turns around but stops when nobody else follows her. No one even moves a finger. “What?” So, she faces everyone again. 

“We’re not leaving someone to die, Daebi.” This time it’s Nina who comes to help Jimin. Makes Daebi drags in a heavy breath which she exhales shakily. You watch as your best friend takes a firm step toward Nina. 

“If we stay here, trust me, Nina, it won’t be just him who’s dying tonight.” Her gaze wanders over everyone. Slowly. One by one. “That dude,” She points at the man who’s barely hanging there now. You don’t follow her gesture. Just stay in Hoseok’s embrace, shivering. “We don’t even know who he is. What the fuck are we going to do, if he’s a fucking big deal. What if he's a capo? No- no, what if he’s the fucking leader-” She trembles visibly. Oh, she knew the rumors aren’t just rumors, then. But you can’t fight over that now. “Staying here won’t do any good to us guys. We just- fuck, let’s just leave.” She ends her rambling with a desperate plea. “Please.”

This time everyone regards her with shocked silence. Until Jimin tries one more time. 

“B-but, we didn’t do anything. We have the guy, we just-” Jimin stops mid sentence. A horrified gasp leaves his mouth. Then a low curse. You find it impossible not to pull away from Hoseok and see what’s going on. Everybody does. Follow Jimin’s vision. “Where the fuck did he.. Go?” Jimin whispers inaudibly. All your eyes land on the spot where the beaten to death kid was laying. Empty. Now in the spot is a pool of blood but nothing else. You gasp aloud.

How did he?

But apparently that’s the least of your problems. Hoseok’s voice reminds you of that. 

“Fuck! We need to leave.” He repeats Daebi’s words. In a hurry. You turn to him in disbelief. 

“B-but…”

“Baby we need to leave. I don’t want any of us to tangle in this mess. We are going.” He cups your face. You peer at his brown eyes. Comforting. Strong. Panicked, yes but he’s providing you strength. You don’t know about the right thing or wrong thing. You just need to go home. Just to hide. Forget. So, you just nod. 

“What about the fucking proofs dude? They’ll fucking find us and we’ll be fucking suspects if we run.” Jimin still disagrees. 

“No. Trust me Jimin. As long as we get away from here, no one would know. I’m pretty sure he has millions of enemies who want to kill him and this is a club that covers every shit. We just need to run and save our fucking asses.”

That’s the last thing anyone says. You don’t question anything again. Just allow Hoseok to drag your weak, shaking body back into the crowded club. Through the drunken people and out. You don’t even look around to see if your classmate- Mr. No Name- was there. You no don’t care what happened to him or where he disappeared. You just let your friends guide you back home. 

Like you’re in a dream.

……………………………

After a month 

“I can’t believe you fucked up that chance Jungkook.” Daebi places her hands on her hips. Eyes warily graze over the pale kid on the spacious bed. A black patch over one of his doe eyes. Face still very much ruined and covered in a dozen plasters. Lips chapped and pale. He looks starved but Daebi knows it’s quite the opposite. He’s been receiving good care. Parents have filthy money, after all. A little lie about an accident covered it all up. 

Jungkook scoffs. At least try to scoff since all that comes out is a wince. A wince in pain as he still can’t move his lips. “You left her alone way earlier, Daebi. It wasn’t my fault.” He mumbles in between painful breaths. Turns his dark eyes toward Daebi who’s just standing there casually. As if she’s familiar with the place even though this is her first time at Jungkook’s parents’ house. Daebi does a very successful scoff. 

“So, it’s my fault now?” She gestures at herself.

“Yes.” Jungkook grumbles. And Daebi feels a slight shiver at the way his eyes darken. “And that motherfucker’s who thought he could get away after fucking touching her.” That crazed look clouds his eyes again. Daebi saw it that day at the club. A moment before everything went crashing down. A moment before she pointed him in the direction you disappeared with a strange man. A crazed look that screams murder. Destruction. It takes her a moment to collect herself. 

“Y-you’re so fucking crazy Jungkook.” She manages to get it out without shaking. “If you hadn't done something so stupid—” A harsh gulp to soothe her suddenly dry throat. “Like, what the fuck dude? Killing someone?”

“He’s not fucking dead apparently.” Jungkook disregards the way Daebi starts to look frightened. Says that with a regret in his voice. This time Daebi does tremble. “And you think that’s stupid?” He questions with a raised eyebrow. “I would’ve fucking skinned him alive if (___) hadn’t interfered.”  

Daebi doesn’t answer that. Simply because she doesn’t know how. 

He’s regretting that he couldn’t kill him.

He is crazy.

Crazier than she thought when she met him for the first time.

“And you shouldn’t have left her alone that early. What were you thinking Daebi? You were in that much of a hurry to suck Hoseok’s cock?”

Jungkook continues when Daebi doesn’t answer. She flinches at his words. Because, in fact, that was what happened. She was in a hurry to get alone with Hoseok. But that wasn’t her fault entirely. Jungkook should’ve been there. 

“Well, you should’ve come early. Besides, if you have managed to take her the first time, then none of this could’ve happened.”

Jungkook straightens up in his bed. 

“What first time?” Asks. Doesn’t receive an answer. “Ah.. that first time where you fucked it up by sending her boyfriend home early?”

“That’s not my fault that Nina fucking decided to crash at my place that day. You had more than an hour, Jungkook. Wasn’t that enough.”

“Yes, it wasn’t.”

“Okay, then let’s just say we fucked up, huh? We failed twice. But remember it was me who walked that much of a length to get her into your hands and you lost it.”

“Because, you wanted to help me?” Jungkook finally manages to scoff through the pain. 

“That doesn’t matter, Jungkook. We both failed. I don’t know why I came here today. You seem to be doing fine. Good. Let’s not see each other again. Have a great fucking life.” Daebi grits her teeth. This kid makes her scared in a strange way. Yet at the same time he makes her mad nonetheless. It was completely his fault. She managed to steal your wallet. Created a perfect opportunity for him to take you. You were just a girl after all. And Jungkook is undeniably a hot man. Daebi believed that Jungkook would have a trick or two to play hidden up his sleeves when it comes to women. Even if he didn't, that was fine. Daebi wouldn’t have cared as long as Jungkook took you. Made you his. So, Hoseok would be hers. That was the plan. And he- stupid Jeon Jungkook- ruined everything. So, she had to sacrifice her birthday to the mission. When she had suggested Elysium, it had never been her plan to cause anyone any arm. It was not what she wanted. All she wanted was a fun night at a place that is dangerous. Danger gives Daebi a thrill. But since Jungkook failed the first time, she had to make alterations to her birthday plans.  And that was ruined too. 

Fuck this!

Daebi grabs her bag from the armchair next to her. Almost leave the room when Jungkook speaks up. 

“You failed. I didn’t.” He mumbles slowly. Makes Daebi turn around in sudden interest. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I haven’t given up, Daebi. I won’t. I just-” He sighs heavily. Eyes getting dreamy. “I- I just need a little time. I will never give up on her.”

A silence falls following his words. Daebi just gapes at his face. 

This is interesting.

A spark of hope bubbles inside her. 

She was so close to getting what she wanted. Hoseok and you were finally starting to crumble. Her plan was to let Jungkook have you, but it has turned out to be in her favor in the end anyway. You were apparently playing with Hoseok's patience, being stubborn. Being a nuisance. Being a nag. The fight that broke between you two was doing Daebi a great favour. 

See now, she knows Hoseok loves her. It’s just he’s a little coward who can’t make a decision. Or to act upon one. He has a heart too good for himself. He doesn’t want to dump you that way. And he doesn’t believe he loves Daebi. Or that Daebi loves him. In Hoseok’s mind, it is just lust. Which isn’t true. Daebi just knows it’s love. Ever since the day she saw him, she has loved him. Too bad that you are an inseparable part of the equation. Too bad Hoseok thinks he genuinely loves you. He doesn’t. If he does, he never would have ended up in Daebi’s bed. Still he believes that and he was so close to breaking off his sexual affair with Daebi. Of course, she has no other options but to do something. That’s when she found Jeon Jungkook. Someone who could understand her feelings. Someone who loves you madly. Like she loves Hoseok. 

They both could’ve won if it wasn’t for Jungkook’s sudden thirst for blood. 

Hoseok was about to break up with you. Then everything took that damn turn. Daebi had to watch Hoseok rocks and soothe you the entire night. Kissing you over and over. Apologizing for not being there. Whispering sweet nothings to your ear.

Daebi had to endure his harsh words after a week. That they are nothing but a mistake and they should stop. Had to listen to him confessing his true love to you. Had to watch his guilt trip, blaming everything that happened on himself. Had to pretend to be your best friend and not hurt when you became the main character of everyone’s life. The way Hoseok became a doting boyfriend who did his everything to make sure you’re fine. 

And she’s getting tired. Fucking tired. 

But Jungkook’s words suddenly give her hope. 

Just like he gave her hope months ago.

……………………..

Two months ago

“You’re the one who texted me?” Jungkook clenches his jaw. His voice a low, dangerous grumble, that Daebi takes an involuntary step back.

“Y-yes.” Nonetheless she answers without missing a beat.

“Why?” Another growl from the guy hidden behind a hoodie. This time it’s not exactly low. Okay, maybe Daebi has fucked up. The thing is, she doesn’t know the answer for herself. It just happened. She saw an unknown number pop up in your inbox. She was mad at the way Hoseok carried you inside the room. As if he hadn’t just fucked the life out of her a minute ago. So, she replied. Pretending to be you. She didn’t know who the person texting you was. She just texted back. Maybe deep down she expected to cause trouble between Hoseok and you. But then she found out who was texting. She found out about Jeon Jungkook. Thanks to her extensive research skills. 

And then she got an idea. In between her sneaky texting with him, whenever she got a hold of your phone, she realized that he obviously likes you. That’s where the idea struck in. Hence the reason for this meetup. A quick text to meet her here. 

“Why the fuck did you do that?” This time the guy shouts so loudly that Daebi jumps on her feet. This is a bad idea. 

“I don’t know.” She shouts back. 

“For fucks sake, bitch!” The guy- who she now knows to be Jeon Jungkook- takes a hurried, threatening step toward her. Fast and unexpected that she almost loses her balance. Ends up balancing herself on the rusty fence behind her. 

“No. Wait.” She brings her hands forward. Stopping the guy from coming any nearer. He listens surprisingly. Halts his steps for a beat. “You like her, don’t you?” Daebi asks hurriedly. A silence. 

“What’s that for you?”

“I would like to help you.”

Another silence. A long one. A very long one before he takes a step back. Brings a hand up to push his hoodie back. Looks Daebi dead in the eye. And her breath hitches. It’s ridiculous how Daebi has to bite inside her cheek to not to gasp at the sight.

He- if nothing else- is freaking beautiful.

Daebi has thought he had a scar or something in his face that made him hide his face. But this? This isn’t a type of face someone should hide. 

“Why?” He questions again, making her come down to earth. She opens her mouth to answer but he beats her up to it. “Because you are in love with her boyfriend?”

The breath gets knocked out of Daebi’s lungs. A loud gasp escapes her. Eyes wide and jaw dropping to the floor, she presses herself more against the rusty fence. Nobody knew. Not Jimin. Not Nina. No one. So how could he- 

“What made you think I need your help Daebi? (___) would be ecstatic to hear what her best friend and boyfriend have been doing behind her back. I don’t need your help. I can manage for myself.” A sly smirk appears on his face. Daebi almost forgets to reply at her shocked state. Despite the urge to ask how he knows, she decides to play the cards. And win, of course. 

“What made you think that just telling her about us would make her fall for you? What are you going to do? Become her pathetic shoulder to cry?” She finally pulls away from the fence behind her. It’s now Daebi’s time to smirk when Jungkook’s smile slowly starts to disappear. “And you think that would make her love you? Oh, Jungkook, she loves Hoseok a little too much for that to happen.” Daebi takes a step forward. Now in confidence. She starts to take part in the game as well. “She never even intended to reply back to you-”

“How would you know?”

“I’m her best friend, of course, I know.”

“You’re wrong. She already likes me.”

“In your fucking dreams, Jeon,” Fuck! She shouldn’t have said that. Jungkook’s eyes turn dark as she watches. Dark and empty. Crazy. A shiver runs down Daebi’s spine at that look. “Listen to me,” Yet she manages to hide that shiver. Manages to appear confident. “She damn loves Hoseok. Even if you go and tell her that he’s been cheating on her, that’s going to do nothing but breaks her heart. You-” She points a finger at the kid in front of her. “Are nothing but the pathetic kid she decided to pity,” That crazed look intensifies. She’s playing with fire. One wrong move, and she’d burn. “It’s just pity, Jungkook. She pities you. But-” Daebi holds a hand up at the right moment Jungkook tries to say something. “Maybe we can change that. Let’s get this clear. I want Hoseok and you want (___). I’ll help you and in return you’ll help me. Take her away from Hoseok. I know you love her and maybe you can treat her better.”

Jungkook’s crazed eyes immediately brighten..

Oh, he’s crazy. 

But also stupid.

Daebi just knows that she hit the jackpot with those words. 

“And if you don’t believe me, just try asking her out for a coffee. See if she would agree even on friendly terms.” Yet she continues to play. She has an idea after all. All she needs is for Jungkook to comply. She waits a minute to see what he would say. And just like she knew his face goes a slight red. A warm red that makes him look adorable. 

“H-how?”

“What do you mean, how? Just ask her out.”

“I just can’t do that. What if she just-”

“Reject you? And stop talking to you ever again?” Daebi raises one of her shaped eyebrows. Jungkook says nothing to that. “Well, you shouldn’t just let her do that then. You really love her, so make sure she knows. I’ll find a perfect opportunity for you to be alone with her. What do you say?” 

There it is. Daebi’s meticulously crafted plan to make you fall in for someone else. She can’t think about someone else other than this person in front of her to be honest. She waits patiently until he agrees. 

“I can ask her out during a class.”

Then he answers, much to her dismay. Daebi hadn’t expected him to disagree. Hence, a moment of hesitance on her side. Only for a moment, though. Daebi is a woman who knows what she does, after all. There’s no way she would just back up. 

Here’s the case. It would be alright to let Jungkook play his game alone. But the thing is Daebi knows you like the back of her hand. You are in love with the same man as she is. And you will never fall for someone else. Not that easily. That’s why they need a plan. Like Daebi offers. See, Jungkook is stupid. 

“Well, then she would have the perfect chance to say no and walk out. Now we don’t want that, do we Jeon Jungkook. Trust me this once. Just try asking her and-” Daebi stares at the innocently crazed look in this man’s eyes. Maybe he would get angry at her. Maybe she shouldn’t complete her sentence. Now it’s too late to back down, however. “- and- if she says no then you can make sure she- uh… let’s say… understand that you love her.”

Silence.

Utter, deafening silence. 

And the threatening look he gives her. 

Then, at last, after what feels like years, he gives a nod. 

“Of course, she’ll understand that I love her.”

“Perfect.”

…………………….

A month after the incident (At Jungkook’s parent’s house)

Jungkook looks into Daebi’s hopeful eyes. For some reason, this woman disgusts him. Probably because she’s hurting you. You don’t know it yet, but she is. But she’s a useful ally and he can’t deny that. 

 I want Hoseok and you want (___).

She had said. But she was wrong. She wants Hoseok but Jungkook needs you. It’s not just a want. Not anymore. Now after that one taste. After he held you. Kissed you. Smelled you. The need has become feral. He won’t give up. Not ever. Even if it takes years. 

“You should  stick to what you’re good at, Daebi. Being a bitch. Let’s be sure to see each other again someday.” Jungkook tries to smile. Daebi hesitates for a moment. Then as if she knows that this isn’t the time, she turns around. Walks away. Without another word. And Jungkook falls back onto his bead. 

Ready to lose himself in thoughts of you.

Oh, he’ll definitely treat you better. 

And he’ll wait till the day he can do so. 

END

..............................................................................................................................

I planned on writing smut here but then got a better idea (trust me)

..............................................................................................................................

See now, Jungkook knows the person who’s doing something wrong here is you, not Liya. Yet he can’t find it in himself to sympathise with her. Call him biased, inhuman, or an asshole but something about Liya doesn’t sit right with him. Just like how it doesn’t sit right with him at the moment. 

He doesn’t like how restless she looks. Doesn’t like how she’s been mumbling with Seoyeon. Absolutely doesn’t like how distressed Seoyeon looks. Something is fishy. Something is definitely happening. Something bad. Jungkook isn’t an idiot, he can tell the jealousy apart. That— the way Liya is acting— definitely is not jealousy. 

And you haven’t returned yet. Of course, you haven’t. Why would he ever expect you to return so fast when you just got that little get away with the man you love? Fuck, even the thought makes Jungkook’s heart clench painfully. He must’ve agreed when you asked him to move on and not make a fuss about that night. Consider it a mistake that happened under the influence. But God, how it hurts.

It wasn’t much to be honest. But it was everything to Jungkook. He was a little fool that let himself get carried on and allowed to taste the forbidden fruit. It only made him want more. More and more. The only thing that did was make him fall for you a little more. The thing is, you were so worried. So worried about ruining your friendship. Worried about Jimin. You were blaming yourself for using Jungkook when that wasn’t what happened. Jungkook was the one who used you. 

He is a fucking idiot!

And he wanted to ease your burden. It was much easier to agree on your terms. Who knows what would’ve happened if he’d disagreed—if he’d told you he actually has feelings for you? For one, he knows you won’t reciprocate them. Then it would’ve made you run away from him. Well, fuck that. Jungkook can’t let that happen. No. You’re too precious for that. But this is the price for that. Now he has to be the silent lover who watches his girl fall for someone else and walks away in front of his eyes. 

Fuck his life!

How unfortunate that he can’t do anything about it. Because he is a coward. 

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on her?” Taehyung’s voice brings Jungkook back to earth, forcing him to snap his gaze away from the two distressed friends in the distance.

“On who?” He scowls. 

Taehyung gasps. “Yah! Man, mine and Seoyeon’s relationship can be very rocky and we must be very fucked up but I don’t like to think that you have a crush on my girlfriend,” He throws an incredulous look at Jungkook. “Even if it’s just by name.” Adds. “Besides, trust me man, she’s fucking exhausting.” 

Jungkook grimaces. “Eww… what the fuck, Tae!”

“Exactly!” Taehyung says with a serious voice, leaving Jungkook to figure out what he meant. This time Jungkook grimaces even harder. 

“Fuck no…” He turns around abandoning his task at hand. Preparing the barbeque pit. 

“Then why are you looking at her like that?” Taehyung doesn’t let Jungkook walk away, peacefully. 

“Because… she and your- namely- girlfriend, look like they are planning to bomb the damn world.” Jungkook gives Taehyung a look. That makes Taehyung stop and take a good look at the duo on the topic. A small crease appears between his eyebrows. 

“Oh shit! That’s not good.” After a long second of staring, Taehyung says. 

“That’s what I’m saying.”

“But that can be business, you know. She’s a CEO, Kookie.” Taehyung pats Jungkook’s shoulder, shaking his head nonchalantly. Jungkook tries to protest when Taehyung already changes the topic. “Anyway, you don’t have to look so repulsed when I say you have a crush on Kim Liya.” He does a cheeky bob in his shoulder, then a wiggle in his brows. Jungkook groans. 

“No…”

“Why not? You can have a crush on her sister, but not on her? They are basically the same person, dude.” Taheyung gestures at Liya. Jungkook turns his head so fast toward him. His attempt at talking once again got stolen by Taehyung. “Oh, c’mon, whole fucking universe knows you like, Li.” 

Jungkook almost declines before deciding against it. What’s the point of disagreeing anyway? 

“Yeah? Is that why you made her go with your friend?” So, instead he asks with a little scoff. He doesn’t want bad blood with Taehyung. He swore it wouldn’t happen, but sometimes it’s just... hard. It’s hard when he’s jealous. Taehyung sighs. 

“I didn’t do such a thing. Her name was on the paper, it was a fair game.”

“You made everyone awkward. That was so—”

“You’re jealous!” Taehyung cuts Jungkook off with an amused smile. For a minute. Then his smile drops. “I like you, Kookie. And I really don’t want to take sides but—”

“Then don’t take sides. Nobody asked you to take sides.” It’s Jungkook’s time to interrupt this uncomfortable conversation. He has no idea why Taehyung brought it up in the first place. “We’re good, Tae. I mean, let’s just pretend everything’s fine and honestly, I’m more worried about Noona’s health at the moment.” He pats Taehyung’s back, just like he did earlier. “And let’s please pretend this convo never happened and do me a favor and keep an eye on your just- for- the- name- girlfriend. She scares me.” Jungkook shudders visibly.

Turns around, heading for Namjoon and leaving Taehyung behind.

……………………

The moment you got back from your little trip to the nearest supermarket, an hour and thirty minutes later, it had been super awkward. For a minute, it felt like the whole trip was ruined. But of course, Taehyung and Jungkook took matters into their own hands. Just with a banter that made no sense, they managed to break the ice. 

And for your pleasure, no one has made it awkward for you, except Seoyeon and Liya. But in turn, it made you feel awfully guilty too. The thing is, the giddiness inside you—the butterflies, the warmth, the happiness that makes your chest feel like it's ten times too big—doesn't leave much room for guilt.

“I think I love you.”

An uncontrollable grin spreads across your face as the memories flood your mind. Not even in your wildest dreams  did you expect the day to unfold like this. 

That had been so unexpected. But what’s there to be surprised about? It’s Park Jimin. He’s unpredictable. He always amazes you. No wonder he chose a random ass time to confess. 

“I love you.”

Oh God, you want to jump up and down like a crazy school girl. 

Jimin loves you!

Park Jimin is in love! With you!

You wander your eyes to the man plaguing your mind completely. He’s helping Taehyung put the barbecue grill on. That was supposed to be on Jungkook, but the guy is otherwise occupied with you. Helping you to prepare dinner with Yoongi. Jimin’s attention is fully on the task but just as your eyes land on him, he raises his head. Eyes catching yours directly. As if he has an invisible line connecting to your mind. You bite on the inside of your cheeks to contain the cheeky smile. This is embarrassing on one hand. You two are acting like two teenagers. As if to prove your point, Jimin cocks his head to the side, eyes glinting. You blush furiously. 

Ridiculous.

“I’m telling you, we need to run.” Jungkook, luckily, grabs your attention. You break eye contact with Jimin. Jungkook has been talking about how Liya and Seoyoen are going to bomb South Korea. 

“If they’re doing that, then I’m staying. That is going to be a one helluva video.” Yoongi rejects Jungkook’s pre advice. 

“And who’s going to upload the video, when you die?” Jungkook argues. Not ‘if’ but ‘when’. The guy is serious about his theories. 

“Oh, c’mon…” You roll your eyes. “She’s just a CEO, she can’t bomb a country.” It even feels ridiculous to entertain his idea. 

“Uh huh,” Jungkook nods. “And her father is The Kim so, I’m saying she can bomb the world if she wants.”

“And where would she go after destroying the world?” You question. 

“To space, obviously. I bet she already has it planned.” Jungkook squints his eyes suspiciously at the said woman. You follow his gaze to find Liya hunched up over the pile of logs that would turn into a camp fire within a few minutes. She’s working with Namjoon, Yoona, and Seoyoen. 

“Yah! Will you stop talking nonsense? We have to get the dinner ready in time for dinner, not breakfast.” Yoongi interrupts yours and Jungkook’s keen inspection. 

“Why the hell it’s always us three who end up in cooking duties?” You look down at the makeshift kitchen you’ve made under a tent. You’re not  really cooking per say. Just getting the things prepped for the grill. Still, it’s you three who are doing it. 

“Take that as a compliment, Noona. That’s because our food is delicious.” Jungkook gives you a cocky smile. “And let’s make sure we prepare the best last meal for us.” His smile drops as he goes back to squinting at Liya. 

“You watch too many films, kid? Do you even have time for college? What are they teaching you these days?” Yoongi hands you a bowl of mushrooms. Jungkook sighs. 

“Bunch of stuff that won’t be of help if an evil woman decides to bomb the country.” Jungkook sadly answers Yoongi’s question, making you snort. Jungkook is so far gone in his fantasy that there’s no bringing him back now. It’s just like when he was super interested in finding your antennas those days. 

“Just let him, Yoongi.” You say to Yoongi as Jungkook starts describing how exactly Liya is about to destroy the world. With a gentle shake of your head and smiling to yourself,  you avert your gaze back to Jimin. This time, however, you do it at the wrong time. 

Poor timing and bad luck!

Just as you avert your gaze, you catch Liya has changed his earlier position. She’s now walking over to Jimin and Taehyung, slowly. Her arms crossed and her long hair flows behind her like a silk scarf. Just like that, your stomach drops. So does your smile.

Fuck!

Oh, for God’s sake, you can’t be like that. What are you? Freaking fifteen? You can’t act like an obsessive girlfriend. You know Jimin loves you and you know the situation with Liya. Then what the hell do you need more? You need to grow up and get your shit together. 

You try your best to shift your eyes away. Into what you’re doing. You do your best not to feel bitter. Only to fail miserably. A flash of green crosses your eyes as you keep staring at the way Liya slowly approaches Jimin. It’s like your eyes are literally glued to the scene and you’ve no option but to watch. You keep watching as Liya stands next to Jimin. She says something to him that gets him to bend down to her height and listen properly. 

Your stomach churns awfully. 

They’re standing too far away for you to be able to listen. And you’re bad at reading lips. So, you have no idea what passes between them when Jimin gently nods. Then much to your horror Jimin mutters something to Taehyung and starts walking away, followed by Liya. He throws a brief glance at your way but that’s not enough to understand anything. They walk away from the campsite. Your eyes follow the figures until they disappear in the darkness. 

Where did they go?

Why?

Oh, God, this is ridiculous!

Why are you being so paranoid anyway? You don’t know where they went?

Exactly! That’s the problem here. You don’t know where she took Jimin. But there’s nothing to be so worked up about. Maybe they walked down to the vehicles. Maybe Liya forgot to bring something. Or maybe she needed to use the bathroom. The bathhouse and the other facilities are located a bit farther from the campsite and it’s getting dark. It’s understandable if Liya doesn’t want to go there alone or with Seoyoen. 

This is totally not a big deal and you’re definitely not being a bitch. It doesn’t matter who he’s helping, you can understand Jimin helping a woman in need. Liya or not. 

“Where is my damn cousin?” Fortunately for you, Yoongi breaks your stupor as he looks around him. Noticing the obvious lack of a certain sun shine. Yet as in cue, just as the words leave Yoongi’s mouth a scream startle you all out of your bodies. 

“Fuck!” Jungkook and Yoongi curse aloud in unison. You all turn your head to where the sound came when Hoseok appears from behind a tent. 

“Fuck, what happened?” Yoongi asks him, wearing an expression torn between worry and confusion. Then as Hoseok answers in a pant, Yoongi’s expression completely morphed into something frustrated. 

“A freaking bug,” Hoseok points his finger back toward where he just appeared. “It was this big.” He brings his hands closer to imitate the bugs size, which is as he shows, the size of a coconut. 

“Are you sure that’s a bug?” Jungkook snorts. “Looks like a fucking scorpion or something to me.” 

At his words Hoseok’s face drains of color. “You think?” He takes a cautious glance back. 

“Oh my God! No, Hoseok!” You throw a glare at Jungkook. He shrugs. “There are no scorpions here, I’m sure. Fuck you Kook.” You nudge Jungkook’s ribs. 

“What? He’s the one who—”

“Enough!” Yoongi interrupts Jungkook. “Get the dinner done, kids. Yah! Hoseok-ah, help with this?” He shows a bowl across the table to Hoseok. Hoseok takes one look at it. 

“You know what? I’m no longer afraid of any bugs,” He states with a nod and turns around like a flash. “Or scorpions. In fact,” He holds a finger up. Doesn’t look at any of you as he starts walking away. “I’m going to get a pet scorpion.”

“That fucking…” Yoongi mumbles under his breath.

…………………………

It’s been twenty minutes since Jimin disappeared with Liya. Not that you’ve been counting the minutes… You’ve been counting every second. And every second feels like an eon. You don’t want to be like this, but you can’t help letting your mind spiral. They definitely didn’t go to the bathrooms. Who the hell spends this much time in a common bathhouse? Everyone has decided to park the vehicles from a little distance from the campsite. That would take five minutes to go and return. They clearly didn’t go to any of those places and you’re becoming restless. 

You eye Taehyung apprehensively. He knows where Jimin went. Should you ask him? It wouldn’t be weird either, since Taehyung knows about you. Yet at the same time you’d look like a possessive bitch. Why would you ask other people anyway? Why can’t you ask Jimin himself? You might not be in a standard relationship but the guy admits he loves you. And you love him in return. What more of a right do you want to shoot him a text and ask where he is? 

You grab your phone from the foldable chair next to you. Unlock it quickly and almost shoot the text when you notice the ‘sos’ on the top corner of the screen. No fucking connection. You groan internally before throwing the useless device away. Taehyung and J had to find a place that has no proper connections, didn't they? What if an emergency comes up? This is how people get slaughtered in movies. 

“Oh my God, Tae! This is ridiculous. You had no other ideas for a game than this?” Seoyeon whines, grabbing your attention. You might not like her much, but you can’t agree with her anymore. 

Taehyung is busy setting up the table for a game of spin the bottle.

“I did, but this was the best one.” Taehyung disregards his girlfriend. 

“How old are you?” Seoyeon rolls her eyes. 

“Just a year younger than you.” Taehyung yet again answers nonchalantly. Everything has been prepared. Food is ready. The grill is going. The camp fire is up. All you have to do is start the night. But the case is, two people are missing. You throw another hasty glance to where they disappeared earlier. 

Should you ask Taehyung or should you not? 

“And what? You want us to kiss each other?" Jin butts in, sporting a bottle of beer, J casually attached to his side. 

Taehyung pays his elder friend full attention. His eyes gleaming. “I like the idea of it very much,” he states happily, making half the table scrunch up their faces in repulse. “I mean, there are bunch of gorgeous women here—”

“Men too.” Jungkook quips. Looks a bit offended that Taehyung didn’t notice that. Taehyung blinks at Jungkook for half a second before picking up from where he left. 

“Yes, men too… So, it would be such a fun idea, but looking at all of your horrified faces, I guess that none of you want to kiss each other—except for me—”

“In your dreams Tae…” Namjoon grumbles. 

“You don’t have to admit it, Hyung.” Taehyung waves a casual hand in front of his face. “Anyway, considering this—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake! We decided to change the game.” J cuts Taehyung’s unnecessary speech. “Where the hell is Park Jimin?” Then she voices out the exact question in your mind. “Do we have to wait until it’s next year?” She glances around as if she can find a clue. 

Someone tries to answer that question. But before they could, a soft sound of approaching footsteps disturbed everyone. 

“Sorry.”

You snap your eyes to Jimin as he walks over to the table. A little breathless. Your eyes first land on his face, then travels across his body and stops where Liya’s hand is resting on his wrist. 

For God’s sake!

You have to bite the grimace back physically and swallow it down to keep your face neutral. You can’t cause a scene. You have no right to cause a scene. Besides, she's holding his wrist. 

Why’s she holding his wrist? 

Why the fuck is he allowing that?

The flash of green that slashes across your sight earlier slowly starts to engulf you whole. Travelling down your body through your veins. You clench your fists over your sweats, turning your gaze back to Jimin’s face. To find him already glancing at you. You force a smile into your lips. 

You can’t be a bitch. You can’t be a bitch. 

You’re an understanding matured woman!

You’re positive your smile came across as a sneer. Yet you don’t get to dwell on that issue when J sighs in immense relief. 

“Thank God!” She exclaims. “Thought you’d take fucking years. Sit down please, we have a game to play and food to eat.”

Jimin keeps his gaze on you. Doesn’t break eye contact as he gently free his hand from Liya’s hold. You almost feel happy but just as he takes his hand away, Liya hooks her arm through his. And you fail to keep your eyes on Jimin and shift it to Liya. Mistake. She’s glancing at you too. 

A tiny smirk appears on her lips before she starts dragging Jimin toward the table.

………………………….

“Why would I have to start this?” You grumble, holding the empty beer bottle in your hand. 

“Because you lost in the rock-paper-scissors.” Taehyung lets you know matter of factly. “Now, please spin the bottle, Li.” He taps the table. You sigh heavily. Like they promised, the game isn’t going to contain any kissing. Taehyung’s genius mind— as he says— has come up with the idea of combining it with the truth or dare. Truth or dare minus the truth because there’ll be no choices.

The rules are simple. You’ll now spin the bottle and when it stops, the person who’s behind the top end of the bottle will have to do the dare given by the person behind the bottom end of the bottle. It’s either doing the dare or chugging down a monstrous blast mixed by Yoongi, which he himself doesn’t know includes what. All he knows is that he mixed every type of alcohol in it. You’re positive that one of you is going to die tonight. Death can happen while trying to complete a stupid dare or drinking Yoongi’s drinks. 

With another heavy sigh you place the bottle on the table and spin it. Everyone falls silent as the bottle starts to spin, and spin, and spin. Then eventually stops. The mouth of the bottle pointing to Taehyung and the back pointing to Jungkook. 

Tangled noises of satisfaction flow across the table. Taehyung, however, doesn’t even look concerned at the fact that he got selected. He gives Jungkook an excited glance. 

“Bring it in, boy.” he squares his shoulders. You turn your head to look at equally elated Jungkook. God, this is going to be fun. Despite your skepticism, even you can’t help but grin. And it says a lot since you’re in an awful mood having to see Liya causally leaning against Jimin. 

“Please give him something impossible.” Yoona says to Jungkook with a straight face. Jungkook nods. 

“Okay, I… dare you to…” He purses his lips in contemplation. Then after a second of thinking he yells. “Do a body shot.” Clasps his hands. 

“On who?” Taehyung looks discouraged for a minute. 

“On anyone you want. You agreed we’re all a bunch of gorgeous women and men.” Jungkook shrugs. Scrunching up his nose adorably. 

“Okay…” Taehyung drags, scowling. His eyes jump from each person on the table. Now, Taehyung is a fucking meal himself but you’d die out of embarrassment if he tries to lick a drink up from your body. That’d be so weird. 

Taehyung’s eyes sweep over you and to Seoyoen. That would be the best, least weird and wise choice. Yet before anything, Seoeyoen lets out a horrified gasp. “Hell no!” Even shakes her head. 

If it was someone else, this would’ve turned into an uncomfortable silence. But fortunately it’s Taehyung and he just clicks his tongue. 

“Don’t worry I’m not going to embarrass you highness,” He stretches his hand toward Yoongi, silently requesting a shot. It’s just a normal shot of tequila instead of a monstrous blast. That one is reserved for losers. “Jimin-ah, do me the honor, please?” Taehyung gets to his feet after Yoongi hands him over the drink. The table breaks into a unified applaud and cheers. 

Jimin, however, chokes on his own spit. Does a comical failed motion of trying to push back in his chair with wide eyes as Taehyung reaches him. 

“No. No. No! What?” He shouts. “Why me?” His unexpected movements cause Liya to pull away from him. 

At least a good thing.

“Beacuse you’re my best friend?” Taehyung smiles cheekily at him. 

“We’re all your friends.” Jimin reasons. 

“Yeah and you wouldn’t mind if I….” Taehyung raises a brow. His expression is smug. And for a second you think he briefly glances over at you. Just for second, though and it’s over even before you can register it. Jimin’s face turns serious immediately.  “Oh, c’mon, Jiminie, we’ve done worse in college.” Taehyung kicks Jimin’s leg. Abandoning what he said earlier completely. 

J gasps. “I’m very interested in knowing what the worst is?” She leans forward over the table. “What did you do?” Questions. 

“I assure you…” Jimin looks at her over his shoulder. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing—”

“What do you mean, Jimin-ah?” Taehyung cuts Jimin off with a gasp. Offended. Then turns to J. “Trust me when I tell you, there’s nothing in this world we haven’t done—”

“Tae…” Jimin groans. Now you’re interested in knowing the story too. 

“Once we brought this girl to the dorm and—”

“Okay, do your fucking body shot.” Jimin snaps, interrupting Taehyung immediately. His face is the color of a tomato. Even Liya has turned red. Several noises of disappointment mixed in the air. 

“That’s ma boy!” Taehyung grins. Grabs a slice of lime and holds it for Jimin to take between his lips. 

“Can we just do the shot?” Jimin sighs. “C’mon that counts.” He looks at Jungkook. For a second Jungkook looks like he wouldn’t let Jimin go that easily. The dare was supposed to be Taehyung’s but Jimin’s the one who’s obviously suffering. And Jungkook is enjoying it to the fullest. Yet,much to Jimin’s relief Jungkook shrugs. 

“Yeah… can do that.” Jungkook nods. “You’ll take the whole year to do this, otherwise. Be quick, will you?” 

“Okay, fuck, okay… so, uh- how- um- can you do it on my palm?” Jimin innocently and adorably holds his palm out. Noises of disagreement break down again. 

“That’s not a fucking body shot!” Yoona is the first to protest, to your surprise. Then making it nothing, even Yoongi disagrees. 

“I thought you went to college. You don’t know how to do a body shot?” He raises a brow. 

“Why not? My palm is a part of my body?” Jimin argues. Everyone starts to put their two cents on the table. 

“No it’s not.”

“Be quick!”

“Abs, do it on your abs.”

“Oh my God, I’m embarrassed, I can’t even look at this.”

“This is fun!”

You don’t know if it’s fun or not. But despite your knowledge you’re currently cackling up. So hard  you have to use Jungkook as leverage. Everyone is laughing hard. Even Jin is laughing disregarding his flushed face. J and Yoona have joined the battle field on the other side of the table and are convincing Jimin to lift his shirt up. 

“This is freaking assault you know? I’m not drunk enough to do this.” Poor guy practically cries as his best friend kneels in front of him. Yoona holds the shot glass slightly above Taehyung’s mouth, aligned with Jimin’s defined abs. Somewhere between the chaos everyone has come to a compromise that Taehyung doesn’t have to lick the shot over Jimin’s body. Instead of that, Yoona pours the shot across Jimin’s abs and the drink would pool in Taehyung’s mouth. 

You do a half scream and half squeak as Yoona starts pouring. Cheers, yells, and laughter fill the air as the liquid disappears from the glass. When it’s completely gone Yoona takes the glass away, and walks over to her flush- faced boyfriend. Sits on his lap. Taehyung rushes to his feet. A proud and smug look on his face. He doesn’t even bite the slice of lime as he gives a look to Jungkook. 

It takes everyone at least five minutes to sober up and pay attention to the game again while paying eating as well. In the course of five minutes the bottle is on Taehyung’s hand. As the target of the previous round, he gets to spin the bottle now. With residue laughter here and there, everyone gets ready to face a cruel destiny when Taehyung spins the bottle. After a few spins, it this time stops pointing at Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok receiving the bottom end of the bottle, making his face lighten up like the morning sun. 

“Fuck, yes. I waited for this moment my whole damn life.” Hosoek bellows, making Yoongi roll his eyes. Just like Taehyung, Yoongi looks unphased. 

You steal a glance at Jimin, who still looks like he wants to throw himself off a bridge but is recovering. Liya, however, looks like crawling into a hole. So does Seoyoen. Jimin smiles at you when he catches you glancing. You return the smile easily this time. That smile, however, lasted only a second as Liya yet again leans against him. You try your best not to glare at her. You tear your gaze away to look at what’s happening in the game just after you catch Jimin putting a short distance between him and Liya. 

Well. That is awkward. 

“Okay, here’s your dare, Hyung.” Hoseok rubs his hands together. “Tell me what you said to that cute barista the other day.” Hoseok leans against his chair, putting a leg over the other. 

“Sorry, what?” You scowl. Thinking you caught only a part of the dare. 

“Boo! You’re killing the fun, man. Give him a real dare.” J holds her thumb down. 

“This is a real dare. Now listen, that man over there,” Hoseok gestures at Yoongi, who now looks exasperated. “Doesn’t know how to flirt—”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Yoongi gasps, offended. 

“Because I do. But he flirts with the barista at our favourite café the other day she looks like about to fucking cum.”

“That’s too much information.” Jin butts in just to get rudely ignored. 

“I want to know what he told her.” Hosoek explains his dare. 

“You’re so fucking nosy, Hyung.” Namjoon shakes his head in disapproval. 

“I’m just curious.”

“That’s exactly what being nosy means. Being too fucking curious.” Namjoon huffs. 

“Well either way, you’re not getting that out of me, Hobba. I’ll die rather than telling you about my sex life.” Yoongi flips Hoseok off. Then before anyone can say anything he pours his own drink into a glass and knocks it down in one go. A millisecond of silence passes before Yoongi groans aloud and bangs his head on the table, dramatically, with a soft thud. “Holy fuck! What’s in this shit?” He shakes his head. Looks like he’s actually in pain. “I’m gonna die.” Grumbles and after another few seconds he finally raises his head. Facing all of you who are gaping at him with opened mouths. 

“You made that drink, Hyung.” Jungkook points out. Still very horrified. 

“Yeah. And I should’ve done the dare, fuck, this is—” He stops whatever he wanted to say to stuff his mouth with some pork bellies. Probably to get the awful taste away. 

“I’m going to do any dare. No questions.” Jin mumbles to himself. And all agree. 

Starting from there everyone almost does every dare. Fortunately, you are only dared to throw a pickup line at Taehyung which makes you cringe hard but everyone else impressed. Except for Jimin, of course. Guy is pouting at you hard. On another day, you would’ve become mad at the prospect of him being jealous when he’s the one who has a woman attached to his hip. But to his credit, he is actively putting distance between him and Liya. It is Liya who doesn’t pick up the sign. 

And the only other person who chooses a drink— despite Yoongi’s warnings— is Namjoon. He refuses to give a lap dance to Seoyeon. Understandably so. But the thing is that he makes sure that all of you’ve got another live witness as to why you shouldn’t try the drink even by a mistake. 

Yoona spins the bottle for what must be the twentieth time at night. To keep it fair, you all have been changing your positions across the table, which has put you next to Jimin now. Taehyung on your other side. Liya has to sit across from Jimin. Yoona’s bottle stops pointing between Liya and Seoyeon this time. Seoyeon earns the chance to give the dare. After all casual drinks- not the monstrous blast- she looks a bit relaxed and seems to be enjoying the game. A wicked grin appears on her face as she wiggles her eyebrows at her best friend. Liya rolls her eyes. Being the only sober person in the group at the moment. 

“Please, don’t make me kill you, Seo.” Liya warns Seoyeon even before she can start speaking. 

“Oh, you know I’m not that unhinged,” Seoyeon smiles softly. Someone else gasps but no one pays that any mind. “Okay, I know we said that we’re going to stay away from the kisses but, I dare you to kiss someone… on the lips.” She bites down on her lip. 

And like that the wind gets knocked out of your lungs. In a very bad way. The soft smile you’ve been adorning on your face, instantly vanishes. You sober up immediately. The silver of green you’ve been feeling that has gone away during the night, returns. 

Liya isn’t obviously going to kiss just someone. No. Why would she, when she has her boyfriend right here? Seouyeon didn’t specify who Liya should kiss, which gives Liya plenty of freedom to kiss whoever she wants. And everyone knows that she’s going to kiss her boyfriend. It’s the easiest dare that has been given to someone so far. Liya just has to kiss her boyfriend. 

Your heart clenches weirdly inside your ribcage. A strange urge to storm away from the premises gets to you. You really don’t want to sit here and watch Liya kiss Jimin. No. You’re too weak for that. Too jealous for that. Even the thought is making your eyes sting and throat tight. 

“Seoyoen…” Taehyung sighs. Seoyoen looks at him with disbelief. 

“What?” She questions. 

“We agreed, there ain’t going to be any kissing.” Taehyung reminds. 

“No kissing other people!” Seoyeon argues. “Nobody said anything about kissing their partners. It’s totally fine.”

Nobody says anything to it. Everyone is gaping at Liya as if kissing her partner would be the weirdest thing to do. 

Partner!

Jimin is her boyfriend!

Just because he loves you, fact doesn’t change. You’re still the other woman. Maybe you should actually leave. That would catch unwanted attention, though. 

“What?” Seoyeon questions from no one in particular. Then she gestures to Liya. “C’mon, complete your dare.” 

A minute passes. Then Liya gets to her feet. You gulp harshly, your left leg starting to bob up and down crazily. 

You can’t be here.

You can’t just watch Jimin kiss someone else. 

The clog in your throat tightens to a point you actually find it hard to breathe. Your stomach lurches, making all the food you ate threatening to reappear. You avert your gaze to your lap, staring at the hem of your cozy shorts. 

It’s okay. It’s fine. 

It’s just a kiss. 

A kiss. 

Jimin is going to kiss someone else. 

You screw your eyes shut. You can’t cry. Nor can you say anything. All you can do is wait until it’s over. You feel like all your insides are melting away, leaving a hollow shell behind. You imagine that Liya must’ve made it all the way to Jimin across the table now, who’s just sitting next to you. You try to guess where she exactly stands right now. Behind you? Or did she walk over to the other side of him? 

Maybe this is the karma for being a bitch. You deserve this. If you don’t look, then it would be allright. What you can’t see, can’t hurt you right? 

But what about the knowledge, though. You know Jimin is kissing Liya while sitting right next to you. Even your ears start to ring. The pain inside your chest grows higher and higher, mixing up with a strange anger that makes you want to scream. 

Then, just as you think it’ll happen, you feel a warm hand on your thigh, forcing your bobbing leg to still. A very familiar touch. It prompts you to shoot open your eyes. Just as you do, Jimin’s voice fills the sudden silence that has been filling the air. 

“I’m not doing it.” He states with a stern edge. Someone slowly gasps. Your jaw drops. Liya, who had only made it halfway across the table, stops dead on the track. Yet it’s not she who questions Jimin. 

“What?” Seoyeon scowls deep, seemingly at a loss. 

“I said I’m not doing it.” Jimin repeats as an answer to her question. 

“Why? Like, are you shy to kiss your girlfriend in front of us? You let your best friend lick tequila across your stomach.” Seoyeon raises a brow. “C’mon kiss your girlfriend Park Jimin.” Huffs. 

“No.” Jimin mutters again.

“Why the fuck not?” Seyeon’s scowl deepens. 

“Because it’s fucking weird to kiss someone who I haven’t even touched properly for years.” Jimin speaks aloud this time. 

“Jimin.” Liya finally lets her voice out. Saying Jimin’s name in a manner of a warning. Yet it does nothing but make Jimin scoff. 

“Oh for fucks sake! We’re not in public, with your family, or with anyone else that we have to pretend to be in a relationship that we’re not.” Jimin gets to his feet. The chair stumbles back at the force he does so. “These people,” He gestures around the table. “They already know we fucked up and probably know we are still fucking up. So, let’s just not do this, Liya.” He turns around with that. You stay still. As if a single movement from you would cause a bomb detonation. “I’m fucking tired of pretending.” Jimin almost walks away when Liya stops him. 

“Not in a relationship?” She muses. “I thought we’re even getting engaged, Jimin.” Says while still standing awkwardly where she stopped earlier. She looks uncomfortable. A faint flush coloring her face. Maybe, Jimin should take this conversation away. Somewhere private. As much as you appreciate him not kissing Liya, this is getting painful. 

“Well that’s the thing Liya. You thought we’re getting engaged.” Jimin points a finger at Liya. He doesn’t look exactly mad. Yet there's a hint in his voice that tells you the damn is about to be broken. “You thought, you decided, and you planned. Not me. And guess what? I’m done. I’m done acting like everything is normal when it’s not.” He takes a step. Only to be interrupted again. 

“So, you’re suddenly tired?” Liya closes the distance between Jimin and her. Raises her hand to grab Jimin’s arm but then decides against it. “Are you sure that’s all? That’s why you don’t want to do this?” With every word her voice raises. “Are you sure, it’s not because you fell head over heels for my sister?” Liya yells out those last words with a finger pointed at you. 

You suck in a harsh breath when everything falls into a silence yet again. This time, though, it’s as if everyone disappears. Leaves rustle in the wind. Crickets chirp in the near distance. The roar of the river leaks into the campsite. The fire crackles softly. Yet not a single sound is made by a human. 

You wait with a bated breath for Jimin to just deny it and walk away. Like he should. Because that's the right thing to do. 

“No,” At last Jimin mumbles. You let out a breath in relief. “We were doomed a long time ago. We were walking down to this moment from years, Liya. We were already fucked up even before I knew her. So, no. This has nothing to do with her.” He says, rather calmly. For a second, you think it’s over. Well, you should learn not to expect miracles all the time. 

Liya scoffs. “Yes? That’s the only reason?” She raises a brow. Her perfect expression slowly slipping away, reminding you of the day at the club. “But why can’t you deny it?” This time she actually grabs Jimin’s t- shirt sleeve. “Deny it, Jimin. Say that you haven’t fallen for her and this has nothing to do with my sister.” Pushes Jimin. 

Liya should learn when to give up. You feel a headache forming. The day has swung into darkness yet again. Why the hell is your life like this? Why are you going through a roller coaster? Bad moment to good one then to another bad one.

You bite into your lower lip, preparing yourself to hear Jimin saying that he doesn’t like you in that way at all. You know it’d hurt but you would understand. Of course, you would. Those words, however, don’t come. You throw a hesitant glance at Jimin. Wondering. Confused. 

He’s taking too long. He’s staying silent. And sometimes, silence speaks volumes. 

Your heart starts to hammer inside your ribcage. 

No!

Jimin needs to speak up. 

“Say it!” Liya screeches. “Say you don’t—”

“I’m sorry.” Jimin blurts and takes his departure for real this time. Leaving a bunch of dumbfounded people back. You feel the sudden pressure on your body. Heaviness of the stares. Burn of glares. Even without raising your head to look at it, you know that everyone is looking at you.

A beat passes before a second chair pulls back. 

“I should- I- uh- check on him.” You hear Taehyung says before the sounds of receding footsteps reach your ears. You don’t dare to look at anyone. You keep your gaze on the table, suddenly finding an immense interest in a stain.

“Are you happy?” Liya’s voice, however, prompts you to turn your head. 

“Why’s it her fault when your damn boyfriend is the one who refused to kiss you?” Jungkook barks out of nowhere. Slightly startling you and several others. You pay attention to find him glaring at Liya with an intensity enough to burn her down. But if you think his sudden raised voice is startling, the next voice makes your soul leave your body.

“Don’t fucking defend her, Jeon Jungkook!” Seoyeon bangs the table with both of her palms. Stands up. “You don’t have to baby her all the fucking time when she’s the one who’s wrong. If she can do bitchy things, then she can own up to it too, don’t you think?” Yells. Jungkook opens his mouth to refute but before he can get a word out a third voice booms across. 

“Shut the fuck up!” J’s the one who snaps this time. “All of you.” She adds. Tongues the inside of her cheek. Then turns to Jungkook. “She isn’t wrong you know? You need to fucking get your head out of your ass and see things, Jungkook. You need to fucking stop following a woman who doesn’t want you.” Her head turns back to you. Doesn’t look at anyone in particular as she continues. “And you guys? You need to talk. Get your shits figured. Like, I’m fucking tired at how you’re making every damn moment about you. I’m done watching your petty dramas. Either fucking grow up or please don’t ever be a part of any plans. You all are so fucking selfish.” With that she gets up like a flash. Leaves the table without another word. 

Jin doesn’t even waste a second before he follows J. 

You feel the sting on your eyes worsen, threatening to sooth it with tears that you don’t want to shed. You have no right to cry. Every word J said was true. That’s why it hurts so hard. Every moment spent with a close proximity with Seoyeon or Liya, had been a disaster. It had always been thick of tension and no space for actual fun. You crashed her birthday. Now this. You know they— Taehyung and J— worked so hard to make this trip fun and memorable. They worked for it and you ruined it in a blink. 

You are selfish. 

You keep your gaze down, trying your utmost not to cry when you hear someone else shuffling as well. You catch a brief glance of Namjoon getting to his feet out of the corner of your eyes. He holds his hand for Yoona. 

“Let’s get some sleep. You must be tired.” He says as Yoona closes her palm over his. The next people to walk away are Hoseok and Yoongi. They don’t even utter a word as they do so.

That leaves only you, Jungkook, Seoyeon, and Liya to face each other. You don’t want to look at any of them. Hell, you can’t even look at Jungkook. You don’t know what exactly J means when she calls Jungkook out but it makes sense as well. Jungkook shouldn’t be defending you. You’re the wrong one. Taking your side makes him a bad person as well. And that’s not fair because he’s the most genuinely good- hearted person you’ve ever known. 

Yet he doesn’t leave. Even after his best friend talks to him that way, he doesn’t leave you. You lift your teary gaze up when you hear his voice next to you. 

“Bed, Noona?” Like Namjoon did with Yoona, Jungkook holds his hand for you. You don’t want to rely on him. You don’t want to make him look like a bad person but he leaves you with no option when he bends down, grabs your hand and pulls you into your feet. “Let’s talk later.” He mumbles before starting to walk toward your tent, dragging you along with him. 

…………………………………………….

Jimin paces aimlessly in front of his car. His mind is going haywire. Jumping from one thing to another. All the things that happened and the inevitable consequences of them. He's running risk calculations in his head while pacing around to burn out his nervous energy. 

He can’t believe that he did that. Is about to lose his mind. It feels too hard. There’s too much pressure on his shoulders. He’s scared. Wishes you are here. Maybe a simple hug from you would solve everything. Your smell would make him relax. Just a simple hug. 

He just fucked up. Without a doubt so. Yet he isn’t regretting it. Not even a bit. This would cause chaos that he can’t even bring himself to clear up. This would mark the end of his career. He—despite all the advice, and everything he’s been through— had let everyone down. Still, he would’ve done it again. Because fuck everything, he refuses to be the coward who kisses someone else in front of you just for the show. And nor would he admit he doesn’t love you. Because how can he? That feels wrong. It is wrong. He loves you too much to be able to do that. 

“That’s not going to help.” Taehyung’s voice makes him stop his pacing. Sometimes he can’t understand what everyone has against his peaceful pacing. Taehyung had followed him right away. And has been leaning against his car watching his pacing. 

“I know.” Jimin simply says. Yet before he can continue his energy wasting, Taehyung stops him. 

“Need a smoke, maybe?” He fishes inside his pocket. Pulls out a pack. Jimin doesn't smoke much. But times like these it feels good to embrace a bad old habit. He nods once before reaching Taehyung. 

Within a minute he finds himself propped against his car hood, next to Taehyung. Blowing out soft puffs of cloud into the windy night air. 

“That was pretty good, though.” Taehyung breaks the silence first. 

“Was it?” Jimin questions. He doesn’t mean to sound harsh or bitter but it comes out as that. 

“Course, it was. It was fucking satisfying. And I love you decided to say fuck it.”

“Yes, right?” Jimin chuckles. “Now you can be a proud friend of loser CEO who’s about to fuck his company up.” He throws the half burnt cigarette down. That shit isn't helping. All he can feel is his throat burn. He steps on it. 

“I don’t give a fuck, Jimin. And you’re not going to fuck up the company. We will find a way.” Teahyung eyes the way Jimin crushes the cigarette as if it personally offended him. 

“Yeah? Like what? We would need a fucking miracle Tae. I- just- fuck, you all worked your asses off for this company. You all have been working day and night for the upcoming launch and I just—”

“Do you really love her?” Taehyung interrupts Jimin’s rant. “Li I mean.” Clarifies even though they both know who he’s referring to. Jimin takes a second, drowning in guilt. He can’t believe he’s fucking up Because of love.  He never thought that would be the case. Yet he can’t deny it. 

So, he nods with a loud exhale. “Yes.” Answers quietly. 

“Listen man, like I always said, I know shit about love. And I’m not someone who should give advice since, I am as fucked up as you are. But if you love her, then you love her.” A little shrug. Taehyung throws away his cigarette butt as well. “I mean, I’m pretty sure the feeling is worth all the trouble.” Pats Jimin’s shoulder. 

It feels weird when Taehyung is serious. It doesn’t matter how many times Jimin has witnessed it. Not much maybe. Probably a couple times. Feels weird nonetheless. Jimin doesn’t even know what to say. Because Taehyung is speaking facts. And Jimin is speechless. Luckily or unluckily for him, another voice saves him from having to speak. 

“Worth it?” Both Jimin and Taehyung turn their heads to catch Jin and Hoseok approaching them. Former being the one who just voiced out. “Is that so?” Jin adds as they finally come to a halt in front of two friends. 

“Oh, c’mon, Hyung!” Taehyung whines. Jimin knows that among all his friends Jin isn’t going to let him slip without calling his shit out. 

“What?” Jin snaps. Throws a glare at Taehyung. Then his full attention is on Jimin. “I mean if it was worth it, fine. Good for you. I just hope you have a plan, boss.” He raises a brow. “Tell me what it is?” Crosses his hands across his chest. Jin looks downright terrifying when he’s in that mood. They used to make jokes saying it’s his ‘hyung’ mode. 

Jimin only gulps harshly. He has nothing to say. 

“Yeah? Nothing?” So, Jin presses at Jimin’s silence. “Yet you decided to play the hero like that? What were you thinking, Jimin? That you were the main character of some fucking tragic romance?” 

“What the fuck, Hyung? Can you please have it easy? Why the hell does it have to be a tragic romance?” Hoseok clicks his tongue. Looks so ready to yank Jin away, if he doesn’t shut up. 

“Because this ain’t a fucking book, Hoseok. This is fucking life and things aren’t going to fall into places by themselves.” Jin half yells. Then composes himself. “When you accepted that money from Kim, all those years ago,” He points an accusatory finger toward Jimin. Even though he is standing from Jimin a good five feet away, Jimin feels the jab in his chest. “I asked you not to do it, Park Jimin. I almost fucking begged you on my knees. I did my very best to convince you that we could’ve made it either way. You were—” Jin clenches his teeth. “You were a stubborn idiot. And so did I tell you that you’ll fuck everything up if you don’t figure your shit out before this could happen. All you had to do was be fucking patience Jimin. At least you could’ve done that. We could’ve found a way to—”

“So what, Hyung?” Jimin finally snaps. He knows what Jin says is true but something makes him see red. This is not fair. He did what he did. And he wanted to make all of them proud. Wanted to fulfil everyone’s dreams. “What do you say I should’ve done? Keep pretending? Are you fucking suggesting that I should’ve kissed Liya?” Jimin takes a second to breathe in. He doesn’t want to fight. Not with his friends. “I love Lil…..” A pause. “ I love her. I already fucked up so many times. I- I—” Another heavy sigh. “I know I'm a bad person. I cheated on my girlfriend. I’m a fucking asshole because I didn’t even hesitate doing that—but I don’t want to do the same to Lil as well. I don’t want to hurt her. I’m not hurting her.”

Jimin swears that he didn’t intend to say any of that out loud. But it's already out and all of his friends are gaping at him as if he’s grown an extra head. 

“Fuck!” Then Jin groans aloud. “Fuck, Jimin.” He repeats. 

“Fuck, indeed!” Jimin agrees with a nod. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” He looks straight into Jin's eyes. Then at his other two friends. He owes them the biggest apology. 

“Yah! It’s fine.” Taehyung nudges his side. “We can make this work guys. C’mon, Hyung!” He says to Jin. “This was bound to happen one day and we all knew it. We all knew our stupid friend was falling for that woman.” Adds. Making Jimin gives him a stare. Confused. Offended. 

“What?” Hoseok answers for his questioning stare. “You think we are blind or something? Of course, it was fucking obvious. But I didn’t see that thing coming. I really thought you’d kiss Liya. I’ll give you that.” He shrugs, coming to stand on Jimin’s other side. “I don’t know about the mess but at least you’re progressing, kid.” He curls an arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “You’re doing things the right way, even though,” He eyes Jin. “It’s going to cost you.”

Jin sighs heavily. “You’re an idiot, Park Jimin.” Says. But this time with a small smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. 

“You’re not mad?” Jimin mumbles weakly. 

“Course, I’m mad.” Jin rubs a hand over his face. “But unfortunately for me, I happened to be friends with you and as much as I’d love to beat the shit out of you and leave, I can’t. Too late for that. So, I guess we’re ride or die.” 

“It’s his way of saying, he loves us.” Taehyung says matter-of- factly. 

“Fuck, no!” Jin cringes. 

“It is.” Hoseok agrees with Taehyung. 

“Enough bullshit guys,” Jin’s small smile disappears. “We need a plan.” States. “And we need one quickly. I mean, we couldn’t find a shit about Kim that would’ve helped us to hold against him if he threatens us with pulling away.  We were supposed to have enough time to do that.” He raises a brow at Jimin. Jimin visibly winces at his words. Jin is going to hold that for a while. Even though he wouldn’t actually give a double fuck if he has to choose. “Now since we don’t, let me remind you, we’re on a ticking bomb. We have to do something before everything goes down the drain.” 

“What about, Joon.” Taehyung suddenly perks up. Every eye falls upon him. 

“You mean, Namjoon?” Hoseok asks. “Like our friend Namjoon?”

“You know another Namjoon as well? How many Namjoons do you know?” Taehyung furrows. 

“Okay, so it’s our Namjoon. What about him?” Hoseok leans forward so he can have a better look at the younger. 

“He works in ‘Blindside’ guys.” Taehyung says as if that would make sense. When it doesn’t and everybody keeps gaping at him, he straightens up. “He works in ‘Blindside’. A fucking news magazine that digs their noses into every type of shit they can. I’m pretty sure they exposed that politician a few years ago.”

Suddenly what he says makes all the sense. The implication is clear. Yet Jimin doesn’t see any hope. Any point. 

“We had the best investigators work on this shit for months, Tae. Why do you think a smart guy who works for a news company would be able to do anything?” Jimin glances at Taehyung skeptically. 

“First, I don’t think he’s just a smart guy. I think he’s capable of more than he’s showing. And second, maybe that’s the problem, guys. Maybe, we’re aiming too high when we should aim low. Maybe someone small can do what someone powerful can’t. Maybe the problem isn’t about the talent at all. Maybe the problem is about loyalty” Taehyung sticks to his point. 

“What do you mean? The investigators we hired are fucking us up?” Hoseok pins Taehyung with an intense stare.

“Can be, can’t it? This is Kim we’re dealing with. He can buy the damn government if he wants. What’s a few investigators?” Taehyung shrugs. 

“Do you know, if that’s the case then Kim already knows we are after him?” Jimin folds his arms across his chest.

“Maybe.” Taehyung shrugs. “He won’t know shit if we assign someone trustworthy.”

“Okay, hypothetically, let’s say, the ‘Blindeside’ can get some info. But then who’s going to stop them from publishing that to the public. We need blackmail material. Something to hold against him. If it actually ruins Kim, that means we’re ruined too.” Jin points out. 

“It’s not the ‘Blindside’ that finds the info, it’s Namjooon.” Taehyung looks smug. 

“And what made you think that Namjoon would want to operate an illegal investigation to dig the Kim’s dirt?” 

Teahyung doesn’t answer Jin’s question right away. He turns to Hoseok. “Because he's a friend?” 

Hoseok chuckles. “I don’t think they want to be our friends anymore. Besides, we would need much more convincing to get him to agree to do something like that. A closer friendship.” 

Following his words, Jimin’s eyes fall over to Jin even though he doesn’t mean to. It’s only when Jin scowls that Jimin realises it’s not only him who has done that. “What?” Jin barks. 

“I’m sure you know someone, who’s extremely close with Namjoon?” Taehyung suggestively smirks. 

“Don’t. Even. Think about it guys. She’s not being a part of this mess.” Jin states sternly. Jimin doesn’t blame him at all. He doesn’t want to make you a part of this mess as well. He wants to keep you away. Protected. Jin wants the same thing and that’s fine. So, he beats Taehyung into whatever he tries to say. 

“No, you’re right, Hyung. Let’s just ask Namjoon—if he agrees, great. If not, I’ll come up with something.” He pats Taehyung’s back. Then does same to the Hoseok. “It’s late. Have some rest.” Leans away from his car. “And don’t worry, I’ll apologise from everyone. I’m not ruining your trip, Tae.” Says before, walking over to Jin. “Thanks, Hyung!” Mumbles awkwardly. An awkward pat follows that. 

…………………………………..

You had refused to talk about what happened with Jungkook. Even after he offered  multiple times. You simply  weren’t ready. Besides, you believed there wasn't anything left to talk about. However, you still wanted to know how he felt. Especially, after J yelled at him. He had assured you that it was fine. And that he would talk to J in the morning and they’d figure it out like they always did. You could only wish that you hadn’t ruined another relationship. Which is why you also wanted to talk to J as soon as possible. Maybe not only to her. But to everyone. You had to wait till the morning to do that, though. 

So, you and Jungkook had spent the night watching a movie which neither of you paid attention to. Jungkook knew exactly how to distract you with the right topics. He did a good job making sure you didn’t wallow in your misery. At least until sleep won him over and he dozed off on your shoulder.

Now it’s finally early morning and you know the dawn has cracked, you want to go out and take a deep breath maybe. You might as well start this dreaded day early. You adjust your body to the left slowly, being careful not to awake the peacefully asleep muscle bunny on your shoulder. After laying in the same position with Jungkook’s heavy body leaning against you, you feel like your body is about to snap in half. You need to get out. 

You do your best in holding Jungkook’s head gently and slipping out from under him. Then place his head gently on a pillow. He only huffs in sleep. You cover him in the throw blanket before finally exiting the tent. 

The faint glow of the morning greets you as soon as you step outside. You close the zipper door before turning around to make your way to the bathhouse. Only to stop halfway when your eyes land on a figure sitting at the table. Nobody had bothered to clean the table the previous night. It's still covered in leftover foods, empty glasses, and beer bottles. And sitting in one of the chairs is Park Jimin. Simply going through his phone. You don’t know if the right thing to do is avoid talking to him or not. Before you can decide, however, your legs make the decision for you. 

In a second, you find yourself approaching Jimin. He turns around, probably hearing your footsteps. Any doubt you had about talking to him vanishes like dew in the morning under sunlight, when his face lightens up. Immediately. Even a small smile breaks across his otherwise pale face. You can’t help the warmth that shoots through your veins. An instant relief washes over you. 

“Hey!” You mumble when you finally reach him. He shuffles to his feet. 

“Hey!” Greets you back. Voice barely a whisper. 

“How- um… how are you doing?” You begin hesitantly.

“Like shit, actually.” Jimin says, making you softly snort. At least he’s honest. 

“Haven’t you slept?”

“I didn’t want to. I- uh- like you were awake so…” He drags. Shrugs. “Couldn’t have slept anyway either.”

You pout. Nod. Then fall into a silence. Not awkward. No. It’s peaceful and relaxing. It’s like meditating to look at Park Jimin. 

“Do you wanna talk maybe? I mean somewhere private?” After a blissful second of silence, Jimin blurts out. “I want to. I just- uh—”

“Yes.” You stop his unnecessary rambling. If he wants to talk, then you want to talk. He doesn’t need to come up with reasons. You don’t give a fuck. If it’s wrong, so be it. What’s there to go wrong anyway. “Please.” You add in the end. A little breathless. 

Jimin nods with a soft smile. You think he looks so relieved. 

…………………………

You stand near Jimin’s car. Morning gentle breeze plays with your untamed, wild hair as you ogle Jimin like you’ve never seen him before. Feeling your heart doing weird skips. Your breath tangling and your body getting warm. Strange. Jimin isn’t even doing anything. Is simply existing but you’re about to turn into a puddle. 

You’ve just arrived in this place and have been staring at each other for a few seconds now. You clear your throat as you finally manage to tear your gaze away. “So…” You start, hoping Jimin will pick up from there and actually talk. He doesn’t. Instead, he surprises you when he suddenly grabs your hand. Yanks you forward. Pulls you into his chest and curls his arms around you protectively. Hides his face in your neck, sighing in relief. You only let out a gasp. 

“I just wanted to hold you, Spring Roll… I- God… You feel so good.” Jimin mutters into your neck. Inhales deeply. As if he just found his source of energy. You melt in his hold. Wrap your own arms around his body. Rub your hand across his back. 

“Yeah?” You ask, nodding. “Feel good now?”

“A lot.”

A silence. 

“Thank You.” Then you say from nowhere. Even you don’t know where that came from. Jimin pulls away from you. 

“For what?” Cups your face. 

You drag in a deep breath. You’ve had a long two hours to think things through after Jungkook fell asleep. During that time, you’ve come to realize how much you appreciate Jimin’s actions. Even though you would’ve never wanted him to do that. Even though you would want him to choose the easy way. 

“For not ki-kissing her. For n-not saying you don’t love me or something,” you chuckle awkwardly to ease the suddenly fallen tension in the air. “I mean that would’ve sucked.”

“Holy fuck, Lil.” Jimin surprises you when his face falls. That’s not what you’ve expected. You look at him with wide eyes when he pulls you into his embrace once again. Arms holding you by your waist. “I’m so fucking sorry that I made you worried about that even for moment, and I’m- fuck baby, why would you have to thank me for that. I shouldn’t- It’s the right thing to do. The bare fucking minimum. I shouldn’t—”

“I understand, Jimin. I know. It’s okay. I really didn’t want you to do that.” You reluctantly withdraw from his hold so you can look at his face. Heart wrenching. 

“I’m not going to fuck up again, Lil.” He shakes his head. “Not going let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Now it’s your time to cup his face. With both hands. He leans into your touch like a flower leaning into the sun. You squeeze his cheeks slightly. Making those thick lips adorably pouty. Well, it’s not your fault his lips look so kissable. You can’t help but peck those. Once. Twice. And maybe three times for good luck. Makes Jimin giggle. 

A sweet symphony to your ears. Oh, how beautiful he looks. Oh, how damn in love you are with him. 

“You did good, baby.” You whisper softly. Just want to let him know you appreciate him. Maybe, it’s the bare minimum. But you’ve just started. It’s not fair your story is fucked up. It’s not fair you found the right person in the wrong world. It’s not fair how hard it is. 

Jimin nods. Taking the compliment. Good. Still, you have questions. Questions which have been plaguing your mind for the entire night. Making you sick with worry. 

“What would happen, though? Are you- um- will she?” You search for the right words to phrase. “What about the company? I don’t want you to lose anything Jimin.” Finally manage to voice out your concerns. 

Jimin places his hands on top of yours. Clutches them tightly. Then brings them down. “I think we figured something out, if Namjoon helps.” He worries into his bottom lip. Groans. “Ah! I don’t know… this is so…” Explains softly what they’re planning to do. You don’t know about the possibilities but it sounds like a plan to you. It’s better to have something than nothing, anyway. So, you let him know that. 

“It’ll work.” You say to him in the end. You’re still holding hands. Just standing under the morning sky. Sun rising in the horizon and creating that magic on Jimin. Making him even more ethereal. Breathtaking. Glowing. Isn’t it crazy he loves you? 

“It will.” Jimin agrees. A beat passes. “But Lil,” Adds. “Even if it doesn’t, I’m gonna choose you.” A playful chuckle. “I think I fucked up so hard, you know. I’m fucking neck deep in this, in you, I think I won’t be able turn back.” Admits. You feel your face heats up. His words make your stomach tingle so hard that you can’t breathe. 

“Jeesus, since when do you say such cheesy things?” You turn your gaze away. Jimin gasps. 

“I don’t know. Probably since I’m in love.” He leans to his left so he can peer at your face. “Do you hear me, lady? I’m in love. I love you.” Says aloud. Making you blush even harder. For a moment you consider running away from him just to hide your face somewhere. Ridiculous how shy you feel. Yet then you catch his gaze. Inviting. Hopeful. Expectant. Nervous. He’s expecting something. 

Your heart starts to beat in your throat. Your palms suddenly get clammy in his hold. You’re certain you fell for him first. You’ve been in love with him for so long. So, why wouldn’t you say the words? What makes you stop from confessing? 

Fear? 

You try to open your mouth. Before you can, however, Jimin lets go of your hands slowly. There’s no remorse in his face. Maybe a little disappointment. A hurt. Yet he smiles. 

“We should get ready for that water- sport- day bullshit.” Then he says, referring to the agenda of the day. Almost turns around to leave. That’s when the panic sets in you. Like a hard slap across your face. You practically jump forward, grabbing his t-shirt, and stopping him. Jimin looks at you with wide eyes. Surprised. 

A breath escapes you shakily. “I love you more.” Then follows the words. Rolling through your lips easily. Far easier than you expected. And you feel your chest deflate like a balloon losing air. A sudden pressure leaving you. It comes out easily. Just like your feelings. 

It is easy.

Just like that.

If you were afraid of something you couldn’t pinpoint earlier, it vanishes into thin air the moment the words are out. 

And Jimin’s face lights up as you watch. A small smile spreads across his lips which quickly grows into a huge grin. A grin that he can barely keep contained. In a second, he’s grinning like a mad man. Eyes sparkling. Not that familiar sparkle you’ve seen in his eyes when he’s amused. But a sparkle that makes you see the entire universe in his eyes. It’s like a clockwork that a grin splits across your face as well. Making both of you smile at each other like you’ve lost your minds. 

Jimin takes a step forward. Still holding into his pretty maddening grin. You stand your ground as he closes the little space between you. Lift your head up so he can easily rest his forehead against you. “Yeah?” He asks after he wraps his arms around your waist. You just nod. Apparently not it’s enough. He needs more. “Say it again.” Jimin mumbles. A soft command. 

This time, you pull it out easily. No ounce of hesitation or fear. “I love you Park Jimin. I’ve been in love with you probably since the day I met you.” You breathe out. 

“That’s good to hear.” Jimin squeezes you. “But say it again, Love.” Requests again. 

“I love you…” You mutter through your grin. Blushing hard. 

“Well, I love you more…” He places a soft kiss on your lips. You absolutely can’t help the giggle that escapes you, which is very contagious. Jimin joins you in that giggle pretty soon. You bet you look stupid. No wonder people say you look stupid when you’re in love. It’s good, however. You’re a happy idiot. All you want is to live in this moment forever. No matter how stupid you must look. You just need this. Safely wrapped in Jimin’s arms. Looking at his adorable grin. So close to him that you can map every perfect imperfection of his. Little freckles to his crooked tooth. Perfect. Park Jimin is. And you’re oh so madly in love. 

You’re about to say the magical words again when Jimin presses his lips to yours. This time, though, he doesn’t pull away. Instead, he deepens the kiss. Pressing hard on your lips and then capturing your bottom lip between his. Suckling softly. Moving against you gently. You melt into him. Sighing pleasantly. You have no idea how long he kissed you softly and sensually, like a lover would do. Because that’s who he is. A lover. 

The next thing you know is that his wet tongue is seeking permission to enter. He’s dragging the tip of his tongue across the seam of your lips. You give him what he’s looking for immediately. Let his taste invade your taste buds. The taste of sweet caramel. Allow his tongue to tangle with yours. Creating a hot wet mess. You show no reluctance when he starts pushing you back slowly. Just step with him. Let him lift you up and place you on his car hood. Only moan into his mouth when he pries your legs open and finds home between your thighs. Aligning his crotch perfectly with yours. You encourage him when he starts to grind against you slowly. 

All you do is sneak your hands inside his black t-shirt. Palms dragging across his chiseled abs and chest. You just need to feel him. That’s it. Want to feel his heart beat beneath your palm. Want to feel his skin. Want to feel him close. His tongue that is dancing with yours isn’t just enough. You need more. You always need more. 

Jimin pulls away, panting, breathless. 

“Touch me more.” Commands before falling into kissing you again. You don’t let him keep that for too long. You have questions. 

“Like this?” You bring your hands to his sides. Then back into his chest. 

“More, baby. Go lower.” Jimin breathes against you. You do as he says. Drag your palms down. An inch. “Lower.” Another inch. “Lower.” You comply like a perfectly designed robot. Bring your palms down and down. “A little more.” Jimin whispers as your hands come to a halt at his waistband. You beat a second there, making him whimper softly. Just a soft sound that is almost inaudible. Yet you hear it. And it makes your hand fall down automatically. Cupping his length over his sweats. “Fuck!” He hides his face in your neck, peppering the skin with soft wet kisses. 

You rub him over the soft cottons. Over and over. Until that isn't enough anymore. You allow both of you no time to think anything before you slip your hand inside his sweats. Under his boxers. Your fingers wrap around his bare cock, making him twitch in your grasp. His eyes flutter close as his mouth falls open. 

“Holy fuck, Lil.” Jimin moans just as you gasp. You squeeze his length. Start pumping. Graze your thumb over his tip which is already leaking precum and wetting your fingers. You keep your eyes fixed on his face. There would be nothing better than seeing Park Jimin in pleasure. Especially because of you. The way he’s trying to control the moans. Soft gasps that are leaving his mouth. All makes you keep wanting to go. Pleasure him more. So you squeeze him even harder. Pump him faster. “Slow- fuck slow down Lil…” Jimin throws his head back. Grabs your hand over his pants and stills your movements. “Fuckfuckfuck…. Okay..” Inhales deeply before looking back at you. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if you give me a handjob at this moment?” Asks. 

“A hundred.” You answer right away. Honestly. It is bad. Your friends are still sleeping in their tents. Liya is here. Jimin might have indirectly hinted at the end of their relationship but you know they haven’t ended things officially yet. You ruined your friends’ trip. 

And you’re going to do this here? There would be nothing worse than this. 

Jimin nods. “You should do it. I’ll die if you don’t.” Pants. You nod with him. In agreement. You’ll die if you have to take your hand away. You can’t do that. No. He feels so good against your palm. Warm. So painfully hard and throbbing. You love the wetness coating your fingers. Love how he hisses every time you rub his tip. God, you need more. 

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if I suck you off now?” You pick up your speed again. 

“A thousand.” Jimin moans. Again honestly. 

You shouldn’t. Absolutely shouldn’t. 

That’s so fucked up.

You shuffle your way down. Jimin makes room for you without a word. Hurriedly. You drop into your knees, drags from his sweats, just enough to get his hardened cock out. You have no time. Hence no teasing or admirings. Just your lips wrapped around him. Tongue swirling across his tip and tasting the precum. You can’t help but moan. He tastes good. So fucking good. You can’t help but squeeze your thighs. 

Jimin tangles one of his hands on your hair. Other one finds strength in his car hood. You let him take control. Give him your puppy eyes and a nod to let him know that he can fuck your mouth. A slow curse escapes him before he slowly starts to feed his cock into your mouth. Inch by pleasurable inch. Until he hits the back of your throat and you gag. Making your eyes sting. This is a familiar dance for you now. You know Jimin as the back of your hand. You know how to get him off. 

You keep your teary eyes on him as he starts to slowly thrust into your throat. Once. Twice. Slowly. Then building up the pace. 

“Fuck, love… You like it?” He whimpers in between his thrusts. You nod while trying to keep your jaw relaxed. Spit starts to drool out of the corners of your mouth and gather on your chin. Tears start to finally roll down on your cheeks. You love every minute of this. You can cum untouched. Just sucking him off is enough. The more he gets closer to his end, the higher you feel. And you almost fall into a state of euphoria when the sudden voices reach you. 

“You need what?”

You recognize the voice to be Namjoon’s. 

“What? This is a good chance to dig up some valuable—”

The rest of the words don’t reach you as Jimin pulls out from your mouth at light speed. He doesn’t even care to tuck himself back inside his pants. Just yank you into your feet and wipe down your face with his palms. Leaving you to take care of him. You adjust his pants back in place. Just a millisecond before Hoseok’s tired voice booms behind Jimin. 

“There you are?” Hosoek’s voice perks up suddenly. The tiredness disappearing. Jimin rubs your chin one more time before turning around to face Hoseok and Namjoon. 

“Morning!” Jimin clears his throat. You do your best to act normal, praying to god that you probably don’t look like you just got your face fucked. You don’t look at them. A moment ago, you were floating in cloud nine. All the problems banished to the back of your mind. Namjoon and Hoseok’s appearance bring those problems back. You feel ashamed to even look at them. Last night's incident aside, you’ve got caught here alone with him. You scream how much of a shameless bitch you are. Hoseok says something else to Jimin which doesn’t reach your ears. 

You should go away. 

“I- I’ll see you guys later…” You bow stiffly to them and step away without another word. Not even bothering to take a single glance at any of them. Not even at Jimin. 

…………………………..

You sit under a tree, nibbling on corn, watching Taehyung explaining to an indignant Seokjin why he lost the game. They are on the water. Almost everyone. It’s water sports day after all. Taehyung had come up with various games that can torture everyone. You have no idea how he managed to get J  to agree to his bullshits.

For your immense pleasure, despite the chaos you caused the previous night, the trip has fallen into its original plans. Or at least everyone is trying to act like nothing happened. Trying to save the trip. And you’re glad. Nobody has paid any mind to you. It’s like they’re avoiding you on purpose and if that’s the case you won’t blame them at all. 

Liya and Seoyeon haven’t joined others in the river. You don’t know where they are. Probably at the campsite, plotting your death. Jimin is with Hoseok and Namjoon the whole morning. Just a few metres away from you. They are sipping beer and seemingly having a serious conversation. 

“Eat slowly, Noona. Chew, will you?” Jungkook speaks up from next to you. You turn to him with an annoyed pout. He’s been nagging you about not chewing food properly before swallowing, ever since you were sick with an upset stomach. According to Dr. Jeon Jungkook, it was all because you were eating too fast. Says the man who inhales the food. 

“Seriously?” You pout even harder.

“Yes, very. Chew properly.” He stares you down. Intently watching the way you nibble on the corn. 

You roll your eyes. Yet start chewing deliberately. Twenty times, counting in your head before you swallow. “Happy?” You ask in the end.

“Yes. See, you’re such a good girl.” Jungkook smiles coyly before ruffling your hair. 

“Oh for the sake of fuck!” You slap his hand away. He snorts loudly. You join him. Both of you break into soft laughter.

“Wanna join the next game?” Jungkook offers you once your laughter subsides. He takes a look over at the way Taehyung holds Jin underwater while Yoona and J are losing their minds. Yoongi stands next to them looking bored. “I mean that looks like the last game we would play… but…” He glances over at you again. “Do you maybe want to try and survive?” Raises a brow.

You take a good look at your friends– who might not see you as one anymore. “I- uh…” You drag out. Not knowing whether they would want you to join.

“What?” Jungkook asks with an edge in his voice.

“What if they–” You try to find the right words to describe the situation. Jungkook isn’t happy about it, however.

“Oh, c’mon… I’m gonna fucking declare war if they don’t want you there. Don’t worry,” He rolls his eyes before rising to his feet. Holds his hand out for you to take. “If they don’t want you, then they don’t want me either. If someone is going to say anything, we’re leaving right away.” Offers you a proud, soft smile. You don’t find much comfort in his words, though. You’re glad he’s still on your side after all. But it feels so unfair.

You might not have wanted to talk about it last night but now after your mood has considerably lifted after the morning encounter with Jimin, you think it’s time to talk. 

“Jungkook.” You whisper his name.

“Yes. C’mon, Noona. We should go over there before Jin dies.”  He bends down and reaches for your hand. You let him yank you up by your wrist. 

“Kookie…” Yet you don’t let him drag you away. “They were right.” You sigh. 

“Who?” Jungkook throws an impatient glance at the commotion in the river. Jin’s head is fortunately back above water and the man is breathing perfectly. Is trying to strangle Taehyung. 

“Namjoon!” Yoona screams over to the man who’s still in a conversation with Jimin and Hoseok. “Will you come here please? They are trying to kill each other. We need an adult.” She yells through the top of her lungs.

“Can you do something?” J asks Yoongi. 

“What do you want me to do? I can lend Jin a hand if he wants maybe.” Yoongi takes a few steps toward Jin. 

“Yah! Kim Namjoon!” Yoona shouts over again.  

“J and Seoyeon,” You start. Take Jungkook’s attention back to you. He clicks his tongue, ready to cut you off but you don’t let him. “No, Kookie. They were right. You- uh- you shouldn’t take my side all the time.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am wrong. I’m not a good person and everybody knows it. The more you take my side, the more they think you’re a bad person as well. You’re not a bad person Jungkook. You deserve far better.” You pull from his hand to make him face you. 

Now it’s his time to sigh. “Well, that sounds like a them problem, Noona.” He furrows his brows. Looks really pissed. 

“But, Kookie—”

“There are no buts. If J thinks I’m a bad person just because I’m taking your side, then she doesn’t know me at all. What kind of friend would do that?” 

His words twist in your gut. To think that you have caused problems in Jungkook’s and J’s friendship makes you want to bawl. 

“Are you even hearing yourself? You’re not throwing away years of friendship because of me.” You say sternly. 

“I’m not doing that. She does. That’s not my fault and for God’s sake, stop saying you’re a bad person. You’re not.”

“But I—”

“You what?” Jungkook grips your wrist tightly. “Fell in love? Well, guess what, Noona. Shit happens. And you can’t help with whom you would fall in love. Maybe you could’ve done it differently or in the right way. But now it’s already over. You did what you did. You made your choices, so let me make mine. I’m going to stick to your side as long as I can.” He turns around. Starts walking toward the people who are still screaming in the river. “Because like I said, you can’t help who you’re falling for.” Mumbles one last time before your feet meet the pleasant chill of the water. 

You don’t get to process what he said exactly. You have more questions to ask him to be honest. J said something about how he had to stop chasing a woman who doesn’t want him back. You need to ask him what that means. But you’re already waist deep in the water and just like you expected J is turning around. About to leave. 

“J!” Jungkook calls after her. “We need to talk.” He states. No wavering in his voice. Sounds like a man who knows what he wants. 

“Oh, yes, we do.” J chuckles. Bitterly. Rolls her eyes. Yet doesn’t oppose it when Jungkook leaves your hand and starts to drag her away. Leaving you behind to stand in there awkwardly. Only for a minute, however. Next, you feel Taehyung slings an arm across your shoulders. 

“Li!” He exclaims as if he just saw you for the first time. You peer at his face. “Wanna find out how long you can hold your breath underwater?” Questions. An alarm blares in your mind. 

“No.” You say slowly, ready to step away from him immediately. Yet Taehyung catches you even before you can try. “No!” You cry aloud this time. “Holy fuck, nononono…” A shrill scream leaves your mouth as Taehyung tackles you down. Taking you underwater with him. Your scream which turns into laughter muffles under the water. Yet you hear Jimin’s voice before your ears get full of the muted gurgle of the river. 

“Yah! Kim Taehyung. I’m going to fucking kill you!”

…………………………….

Jungkook eyes the suspicious-looking soup Namjoon has made. It looks like anything but soup. There’s a good chance someone might die before this trip ends. J is giving a similar kind of suspicious look at the brewing broth on the camping stove. 

His earlier talk with J had gone… okay, for lack of a better word. They are definitely not on friendly terms yet but Jungkook knows his friend will get over it. Despite what he told you, Jungkook doesn’t want to lose J. But on the other hand, he just wishes J can understand him. What she says is true. Jungkook needs to get his shit together. Move on. He needs to prepare for the worst. Because you don’t reciprocate his feelings. Now the chance of you leaving his side for someone else is closer than ever. 

Jimin is an asshole. There’s no argument in that. What he did yesterday was just the bare minimum. You deserve better than that. Still, there’s only so much Jungkook can do. Especially when you want Jimin. When you’re in love with Jimin. Not Jungkook. And now, despite Jimin being an asshole, he might actually figure things out. When that happens, he will take you away from Jungkook. Jungkook will be left behind in his lonely apartment to pick up the pieces of him you shattered. 

He doesn’t want to think about that. Even the thought makes his eyes sting and throat constricts. But he knows it is coming. The selfish part of him still wishes that it will take time. More and more time. Even though he knows it’ll put you and everyone involved in this to suffer. 

You say he is a good person. Well, you can’t be any more wrong.

He’s a selfish asshole. He is no better than Jimin. He’d actually sabotage Jimin’s plans, if he can keep you for another second. Just one more day. Curled on his couch watching shitty romantic comedies. Strolling through super market isles and bickering over what sauces to buy. Deciding who should do the dishes. Play video games even though you’re so bad at it. 

Just one more day!

Because, Jungkook just can’t let you go. He liked you from the first day. Then with every moment he spent with you, he liked you a little more. How can he not? It’s you. Jungkook turns his gaze to you. You’re talking with Yoongi from a distance. You’re saying something to the older man animatedly. Your pretty eyes the size of saucers and your delicate hands in motion. Whatever you’re saying, Yoongi is obviously disagreeing with you. And you’re getting offended. Jungkook knows you are. He can read you like a book. 

Just like he knew, you gasp. Then your head is turning. Eyes are searching. They stop on Jungkook. Of  course, you are looking for him. The ache in his heart doubles as you look at him with wide eyes. Communicating without using words. You point at Yoongi, showing him to Jungkook. Are clearly complaining. Jungkook doesn’t know what you told Yoongi or who’s right or wrong. Still he nods, agreeing with you. Forces himself to smile. That makes you happy. You turn to Yoongi coyly. 

Fuck, he’s going to lose you. 

And he’s not ready. 

Maybe he passed the stage of having a silly crush long ago. Maybe he’s in love with you now. It makes sense. To be in love with you. You’ve become a part of him. That’s what he wants J to understand. 

Maybe now she does. 

“You gotta be kidding me!” 

Or not. 

Jungkook tears his gaze away from you to J at her loud voice. So does Namjoon. His brow lifted with question. J talks to Namjoon instead of Jungkook.

“Are you seeing this Joon? After everything… even after they fucking admitted they were freaking jerks and all… this idiot here is giving her heart eyes like she’s the only woman alive in this planet.” Then she throws a piercing glare at Jungkook. Forcing him to roll his eyes.

“I wasn’t giving heart eyes.” He mumbles. Pay attention to the soup. 

“Then what were you doing?”

Jungkook tries to reply but Namjoon doesn’t let him. 

“You two need to stop bickering for no good reason.” He says to both of them. Jungkook is offended. It’s not him who starts anything. Unfortunately, he doesn’t earn much of a chance to defend himself.

“No good reason?” J gasps. “Our friend over here is so smitten over that woman who’s good for nothi–”

“J!” Jungkook growls.

“See?” J huffs. “He’s still defending her.” Complaints to Namjoon. Then turns back to Jungkook. “Let’s put the fact that she doesn’t like you away, okay. Overall, she’s a homewrecker. She’s a bitch, Jungkook, and you still–”

“Maybe she’s in fucking love.” Jungkook doesn’t intend to say the words aloud. Saying it aloud hurts more. Words physically tangle in his throat, making it so hard to breathe. Yet he can’t just stay put. Maybe you’re a drug and it’s too late for him to turn around. He’s already addicted and he can’t help it.

“That,” J sighs. As if she’s tired of trying to make Jungkook see things. “That doesn’t justify shit Jungkook.” She says exasperatedly. “She did what she did—”

“What if it’s you and Jin?” This time it’s Namjoon who interrupts J. She scowls.

“You mean, what would’ve happened if Jin was in a relationship when I first met him?” J questions. To which Namjoon just nods. “I obviously wouldn’t do it. Not all of us are bitches.” So J mumbles. Jungkook wants to ask her to shut it again. Namjoon apparently has more questions, though.

“What if Jin falls in love with you and starts following you around until you give in? Would you still not do it?”

“Of course, not. Not in a million chance Joon. And Jin wouldn’t do that either. If he was in a relationship he would’ve never done it. It’s that simple, you know. Those are just choices. You chose what you want. And they–Jimin and Li—” J gives Jungkook a stare. “They’ve decided to choose the wrong path. And everyone should stop treating them like the victims just because they act like a poor couple in a stupid romance.” She blurts out in one breath that she almost turns red. A silence follows after her words. “Because that’s not fair.” Then she adds.

“You know what else is not fair?” Jungkook mutters slowly. “It’s not fair that love comes to some people so easily and it’s so hard for others. It’s not fair that it’s so easy for you and Jin but it’s so hard for them. It’s not fair, some get what they want and some don’t.” He even surprises himself with that. But he meant what he said. It may not be the best argument. Probably not fair either. Yet it is the truth. It is not fair how he never even had a chance. It is not fair Jimin at least even has a chance to fight for it but he doesn’t. 

J opens her mouth to argue. Then closes again. Clears her throat. “So what? We all gonna pretend that there’s nothing wrong?” Chuckles. “Pretend like Park Jimin doesn’t have a mistress? That he’s using Liya’s status and name for the sake of his business?” 

“Probably not for long.” Namjoon interjects. 

“Yeah? He’s gonna give up the business?”

“No. Not exactly. They asked for my help.” Namjoon states casually. Yet both Jungkook and J snap their heads toward the older man. Surprised. Confused. J is the one who voices out the questions. 

“For what?”

“Eh, you know. Dig some dirt.” Namjoon shrugs. “They apparently think my team would be able to do something the freaking investigators couldn’t do. Maybe they are right. I have a pretty impressive track record.” Despite his words Namjoon doesn’t sound proud at all. 

“And you said no, right?” J presses. Her eyes wide as she regards Namjoon curiously. Jungkook, without knowing himself, is doing the same thing. 

“I haven’t given them an answer yet.” Namjoon looks into the distance. They all follow his lead. His eyes had wandered to you, who had walked away from Yoongi and now joined Taehyung and Jimin. Helping mix up the drinks. 

Shit! When did that happen and why do you look so happy? Just by standing next to Jimin. 

You’re not standing that close to the guy. There’s a space that would fit two Jungkooks in between you and Jimin. Still it seems like the guy has his hands all over you somehow. That’s how stupidly you’re grinning and blushing. The same goes to the Jimin as well. 

Fucking hell!

“Do they think we have no eyes?” J mutters under her breath before going back to interrogate Namjoon. “Why haven't you given them an answer? You don’t do that type of shit anymore. You’re not a rookie journalist who publishes shit to keep your job.”

Namjoon gasps. “I haven’t published shit. Everything I’ve ever published was true and served a purpose all right? I have revealed truths and have saved lives, you annoying brat!”

“So, you gonna do the same with Liya’s father to save lives? Whose lives are in danger here? Oh, c’mon, Joonie, you’re better than that. Don’t let them drag you into this mess. Let them figure out their problems. Besides, you’re not that much of a friend with Hosoek.”

“What about Jin then?” Namjoon brings the weak point back into the conversation. 

“What about him?”

“You know, if Jimin fucks up, that means Jin fucks up as well. If Jimin goes down then that means all four of them do. I hope you’re aware that this isn’t just Jimin or Hobi who are asking for my help. Jin is a part of it too. He may be a good person, J, but he’s willing to do the same type of thing Jimin does to keep the company alive. I’m not blaming him, they worked hard for it.” Namjoon sighs. “So, you still don’t want me to do it? You want me to let years of their work go to waste?”

Jungkook doesn’t hear what J says. His eyes go back to where you were a minute ago. Now in that space stands Taehyung alone. You and Jimin have disappeared again. Jungkook gets this urge to go after you. Drag you away from Jimin. Force you to stay with Jungkook. Maybe he can confess. Go to his knees and beg you to choose him. To give it a second thought. Ask you to stay for one more day. 

Or…

He can ask Namjoon to stay away. Namjoon will find a way. Jungkook knows it. Jungkook knows that his friend is more than capable. Yet if he persuades Namjoon enough, he’ll not do it. Every passing day without Jimin finding a way would be a day you spend with Jungkook. Jungkook will be your home in this world. No matter what. 

He can actually sabotage Jimin’s plans. What a sweet revenge that would be. 

He can keep you. All he has to do is ask Namjoon not to do it. 

Easy. 

“Do it please.” Jungkook speaks to Namjoon. He doesn’t know where Namjoon and J’s conversation had gone while he was lost in his thoughts. It doesn’t matter anyway. “If it’s going to end this, you should just do it. I’m pretty sure Kim isn’t that much of a good person either. Nor is his daughter. She doesn’t love Park anyway.” Jungkook turns around. Walks away after a gentle pat on Namjoon’s back.

He lost you!

…………………………………..

Jimin presses hungry kisses into the side of your neck. Tangled moans reverberate in his throat. You do your best to keep the noises at bay. Your breath hitching and body shuddering. Jimin trails the kisses from your neck to your face back again, ready to capture your already kiss bitten lips in his. You stop him with a gentle hand on his chest. 

“We—” You pant. “We can’t- we shouldn’t…”

“I know.” Jimin mutters before placing a kiss at the corner of your mouth. Then kiss your cheek. Jaw. Nibble at your earlobe. 

“Jimin…” You whine. Half heartedly. You don’t want to stop. No. But it feels awful. You almost got caught this morning. Jimin says they have a plan and his friends understand him. Still, how shameless and insensitive to do this while Liya is still here. 

“Fuck, I can’t stop, baby. You taste so good,” He hisses in your ear. Hands molding your ass cheeks and keeping your body pressed against him. His hardened length rocking against your tummy. You’re covered from a tree. Are just a few meters away from the campsite. It’ll be a disaster if someone walks in. You already have enough embarrassing, shameful encounters to deal with. You need to stop this for now. 

Jimin licks a path up the column of your throat. 

“Fuck!” You grind your body back into his. Jimin pulls away from you. Eyes hooded and face flushed. 

“We can be quick. Gimme just ten minutes. Twenty top.” Brings his hands up and cups your breasts. Over your t-shirt. Circles your nipples through all the covers. They harden and press against the lacy material of your bra, painfully. You wish Jimin would take them out. Roll your bare nipples between his fingers and then suckle on them. But it is too risky. 

“What if someone comes?” You bring him closer to you. It’s chilly at night. Goosebumps are scattered across your skin. Fuel your desire to be closer to Jimin even more. 

“Bet they don’t even notice we’re missing.” He answers your question as he lets go of one of your breasts to cup his own length. “Fuck, I’m so hard. Just ten minutes, Lil.” Your mouth salivates at the sight. He looks hot. Squeezing his dick. He starts pumping himself over the clothing at the same speed he’s molding your breast. You feel the arousal seeping through your body. Leaking out of your clenching hole. 

You’ve managed to suppress the thirst for Park Jimin for an entire day. But just a touch from him is just enough to make you suffer as you’ve been on Sahara for seven days. The memory of his taste invades your brain. The weight of his cock on your tongue. His sweet moans and grunts. 

“You’re such an asshole!” You replace his hands. 

“But you love me.” Jimin sighs in relief as you start to pay attention to his cock. 

“Yes, I love you!” You repeat after him, searching for his lips. Pulling him into a messy kiss. You’re the one who heave for oxygen first. Jimin’s hard cock, twitching on your hold even more. Demanding more attention. “Wa-want me to suck you off?” You ask, ready to push your hand inside his pants. Jimin balances himself by placing a hand on the tree trunk above your head. Shakes his head. 

“Sounds like honey to my ears but need to fuck you baby. Have to be inside you. Want to feel your sweet pussy gripping me tight.” With that he withdraws from you. Just to turn you around. You brace yourself by holding on to the tree trunk. “Gonna be quick okay?” Jimin asks from behind you. Doesn’t let you answer before he’s yanking your shorts down, together with your panties. You gasp aloud. The cool air of the night hits your skin, pebbling your skin more. “Need prep, princess?” Asks again. Bends you down a bit with a palm placed on your back. Adjusting you into the perfect position for him to take. 

You barely shake your head. Body already shuddering with excitement. “I-I’ll be fine. Be quick, Park. Fuck me already.” You rush him with a wiggle or your ass. Earn a smack. Just light. He soothes it so fast. His cold hands rub your asscheeks. 

“You’re so beautiful, Spring Roll.” Compliments. It’s as if he’s in a daze. Your eyelids flutter close. Blood rushing through your veins. More juices leaking out of your hole. “So wet.” Jimin keeps muttering. His fingers come in contact with your weeping core. Cold. His hands are so cold that your back arches. He drags his fingers over your slit and flicks your clit, making the bundle of nerves pulse under his touch. 

“Oh, Jimin…” You push back into his hand once again. 

A soft chuckle escapes Jimin. He leans forward, crowding your space for your pleasure. Whispers in your ear. “Aren’t you getting a little impatient now, baby?” His voice is sinister. Almost mocking. Is saying the absolute truth. This new urgency in you has nothing to do with having to be quick but everything to do with wanting to be full of him. Wanting to feel his cock stretching you out. “Gosh… love when you’re being a little slut for me, baby.” Jimin rasps as you feel him fumble with his pants as well. “Look at you…” He comes even closer to you. And you finally feel his tip prods against your entrance. “Such a slut.” Moans. Then enters you in one powerful thrust, ripping a moan out of you. “A fuc-king sslut for me.” Drags his hips back slowly, rams forward hard and fast. “My perfect little slut.” Grits. 

Pulls his cock almost out. Thrusts inside your warm walls. Does it again and again. Picks up his speed. The next thing you know is that you’re holding on to the rough surface of the tree trunk for your dear life. Eyes rolling and drooling while Jimin hits all your good spots like he always does. His hard cock dragging along your velvety walls, bringing you closer to that piece of heaven. It’s coming closer and closer. You can taste it. You’re going to—

“Hold it the other way, you idiot!” The sudden voice from distance reaches you out of nowhere. You almost lose your balance at how much it startled you. Jimin’s hips stutter. Then you hear the rustling sound of footsteps. Someone’s coming. No. Scratch that. Not just one person. There’s more. You straighten up immediately. Turn around halfway to look at Jimin and urge him to move away quickly when you feel a pair of hands turn you back around. Jimin grabs your hands and places them back on the tree trunk. Bends you down again. Falls back into his rhythm. Or even faster rhythm this time. 

“Jimin…” You hiss. Eyes wide in disbelief yet also finding your brain scrambles at the sensation between your legs. The fullness. Leaves you torn in two. 

“It’s fine, they won’t come this far, just keep it quiet.” Jimin hides his face in your neck. Thrusts into you relentlessly. 

“Fuck!” You whisper yell. Ears straining to hear if the voices are coming any closer. You recognize Taehyung’s voice. So do you, Yoongi’s. There are some others as well. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

Jimin needs to stop. 

He doesn’t. He starts plunging even deeper inside you if it’s possible. 

“Jimin!” You writhe in his hold. Trying to look at his face and keep your balance while not making a sound. 

“Shit. Shit!” Jimin groans. “Can’t stop, Lil. I just… not now… I’m not stopping now. Can’t stop. Not fucking now.” 

His words spurs your inside pleasantly. Previously ebbed orgasm closing in again. 

“Keep it quiet, Princess.” Jimin instructs. A hand snakes between your legs and starts rubbing your clit. The distant voices of your friends slowly drown out by pleasure. Leaving only a ring in your ears. Your legs start to shake. “Fuck, take it like that. You’re doing great, baby. Such a good slut for me… Good girl.” Jimin praises you. With his words the knot inside your tummy blasts. 

A high pitched squeal leaves your throat before you can contain it. You don’t even get a chance to even be afraid, however, when Jimin’s hand clamps over your mouth. Muffling your sounds. 

“Shhh… quiet, fucking hell…” Jimin shushes you. Still doesn’t even slow down his movements let alone stopping. “You want them to catch us?” Asks in a whisper. You shake your head desperately. Nails digging into the tree. Tears stinging your eyes. It suddenly feels too hot and Jimin is holding you too tight. And it’s pleasurable. Even with the impending danger of getting caught. The humiliation. Jimin is about to push you over the edge again even before your first orgasm subsides. “No? You don’t? Then shut up, baby. Be a good slut and make me cum, yeah?” He kisses your neck. Jaw. Ear. Temple. Hair. Every place he can reach. 

“So close, baby. Hold on for me, hm?” Jimin keeps talking to you in a hushed voice. You can only pray that your friends actually can’t hear you. Because you can hear them. Laughter. Banter. Then they might hear you as well. You’re glad Jimin is having a vice clamp over your mouth with his palm. It’s making a mess, however. You can’t help but drool, struggling to breathe. More triggers for that second orgasm. “Let go, princess. I know you can.. Fuck, cum with me, Lil.” 

You cry into his hand. Back arching as the second orgasm of the night washes over you. Your walls squeezing his dick tight. Your cries are sparking Jimin. “Yes, fuckfuck, god, I love you…” Jimin bites onto your shoulder to keep his own voice muffled as his dick throbs inside you, shooting white hot cum into the warm confines of your cunt. He drags out both of your orgasms by keep thrusting into you. Reducing his speed gradually until it comes to a halt. 

He takes another second before taking his palm away from your mouth. You heave for much needed air. Then another before quickly pulling away from you, making you wince and clench tightly so you won’t make a mess on you. 

Fuck, you don’t even have anything to clean you up. You don’t even know how you’d walk back to the campsite. 

What if they heard you? 

What if they know?

And you’re going to walk back with his cum dripping down your thighs?

You hold on to the tree helplessly, trying to come to your senses. Trying to fill your lungs with enough air. That’s when you feel the sudden hot sensation at your still uncovered cunt. You raise your head in alarm. This time your head successfully turns around to find Jimin on his knees. Mouth hovering near your battered pussy. 

“Wh-what are you…” You gasp. Your question melts into an inaudible moan when Jimin drags his tongue through your slit. “Jimin…”

“Gotta clean you up.” He answers simply. Nonchalantly. You, on the other hand, almost die on the spot. Your quenched thirst resurfacing again. 

“Nononono….” You do your best to stay on your legs as Jimin starts to eat out your used pussy. As if he was starved. He licks up your slit and curls his lips around your clit. Then he slides his tongue inside you, eating his own cum from your cunt. Cleaning you up. Like he said. 

Deep groans rumble in his throat. Sounds of thirsty slurping fills the air. He rubs your legs and ass soothingly while raving on your cunt. 

“Oh God, baby… Jimin…. Fuck!” You pant and gasp. This time having to keep your sounds inside by biting on to your own fist. Jimin moans in answer. Making your core vibrate. 

“Taste good, Lil. You taste so fucking good.” He mutters into your pussy. Dwells back into sucking and licking. Buries his whole face in you. “Cum again, Love. Cum on my mouth. Taste good. Need more… please!” Pleads. 

You’re losing your mind. You can’t control the way you’re seeping out of your pussy. You can’t set off the fire inside you. Jimin knows what he’s doing. With his tongue and lips. With his teeth. 

He cleans you pretty well. He does it too much to be precise. He does it over and over again. Until another orgasm ripples through you. Until he cleans that up as well. Until he’s satisfied and his knees ache. That’s only when he stops and gets to his feet. Fixes your clothes. Turns you around to face him. Wipes down your face. 

You peer at his eyes. Sparkling eyes. Filled with adoration. Abundance of adoration. The lust has vanished and in its place remains the affection. 

“You doing good, Love?” Jimin holds you close. You nod. You feel good. 

Even despite this being your second night being awake in a row, you feel good. Physically at least. 

“Fuck, Jimin. We’re so… god, that’s so fucked up!” You scowl. Slap his arm. Still panting and heaving for breath. 

“It’s fine.” He nudges his nose against yours. “No one gives a fuck!” Reassures you. You don’t agree. Yet decide not to say anything. Just hope for the best. “I didn’t tire you a lot, did I?” He takes your attention back to him. Suddenly looks very concerned. 

“I’m fine Jimin.” You give in. Relax. Curl your arms around his waist. 

“No pain?”

“No pain. Just perfect.”

“Good.” He kisses your forehead. “You're gonna find me if something happens.” Says. Not a request. Not a question. Just a command. You roll your eyes. 

“Sure, will find you, Daddy!” You smile coyly. Jimin’s breath slightly catches in his throat. His eyes darken. 

“Okay, don’t start now.” Almost pulls away from you. You don’t let him.

“Wait? You like that?” You perk up. Amused. 

“I… don’t… know, I guess.” Jimin smirks. “Should find out next time.” Pulls you into another kiss. “We should go back, baby.” Mumbles against your lips. You nod in agreement. Luckily the sound of your friends have finally subsided. “Find me if anything’s wrong, okay?” This time he asks softly. You nod with a gentle smile. 

“I’ll find you.”

“Thank you!” He loosens his grip on you. “I love you.” Purrs before actually letting you go. You stop trying to control your goofy smiles. Just grin from ear to ear.

“Uh huh.” Nod. Agree. Jimin scowls. You giggle. “I love you more, Park jimin…. I love you more…”

………………………………

Key wanted to see pictures. Of all of them. You don’t think everyone would agree to model for you at this moment. Yet it never hurts to try. 

“Smile, Jeon Jungkook.” You poke the said man’s ribcage, who’s sitting next to you with a deep scowl in his face, while holding your phone in front of you. The front camera opened. He’s been that way for quite a while now. You assume that his talk with J has gone like shit. Jungkook grumbles. It makes you feel awfully guilty. It’s all because of you. 

“Your friend has seen me before. Why do you need my photos too?” 

You watch through your phone screen as Jungkook eyes you wearily.

“That’s before. She hasn’t seen you at a summer camp, wearing your bucket hat, eating ramen and looking like a grumpy granddad.” You argue. Mostly because you want to make him feel okay. Want to make him laugh. Go back to his normal goofy self and annoy you to death. Make fun of everyone and act as if he has all the energy in the world inside him. It doesn’t work.

“I’m not grumpy.” Instead of the laugh you expect, he gives you a simple answer and goes back to his ramen. 

“Oh, c’mon, Kookie.” You pout before squeezing his cheeks. He stiffens in your hold. For a second. Then he’s removing your hand away from him. 

“Fine, take the damn photo.” He sighs. Faces the camera properly and gives a soft and very fake smile. You don’t press the shutter. You watch him carefully. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask. You know it must be J. Yet you ask anyway. “She’s still mad at you?” You trail your gaze toward the woman in question. Is in a mood as well. Jin is mumbling something to her. Whatever he’s saying it makes J pouts even harder. Jungkook shakes his head. 

“We’re good.” Jungkook snatches your phone away from you. Don’t let you bat an eyelash before he takes a quick selfie of both of you, in which you look like an ugly surprised goose. “There you go!” He hands you the phone back. 

“Yah!” You start. Annoyed that he just did that. Bunch of curses sitting at the tip of your tongue. None of them, however, get out when a sudden pang erupts under your ribcage. 

Sharp. Like a knife pierced through your skin and flesh. A silenced gasp escapes your mouth as you bend down slightly. Your mouth falls open, brows furrowing. The pain only lives very short. Just as it comes, it vanishes. Yet you stay bent down for an extra minute. A ghost of the pain still lingers in your veins. Your brain is failing to realize what just happened. 

“Noona! Fuck!” Jungkook’s voice comes from a distance. You take an unfocused look at his face as he hurries to straighten you up. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…. Are you okay? Is that it? Are you in pain?” Throws question after question at you. It takes you another long minute to come to your senses and answer him. 

“I’m fine… I- uh—” You shake your head slightly, forcing yourself to sober up. “I’m fine, Kookie. It was… nothing. Probably just heartburn.” You finally manage to pull it together. Perk up. Smile. “ Nothing to worry about. Yeah. Maybe it was my stomach.”  Rationalize. 

Jungkook doesn’t look convinced. Of course, he doesn’t. But you really think it is a heart burn. Because it is too early for you to be in pain. Jungkook has his timer on. According to that, it’s just thirty five hours. You’re pretty sure you stayed more than forty eight back at the cottage last year. And you weren’t in any pain either. 

“It’s just a stomachache, Kookie.” You try to convince him again. The last thing you want is Jungkook to lose his shit and spread it to Jimin. They both would drag your ass away or—if necessary — knock you out cold.

“It didn’t look like that.” Jungkook frowns. 

“But it is.” You chuckle. “You know how it is when that happens.” You refer to your unusual pain caused by the mystery of sharing Liya’s space. “ It doesn’t go away this quickly.” Point out. Shake off his protective arm which is still draped around your shoulders. “It’s probably because I just ate.” Gesture at the empty ramen bawl of yours. He still doesn’t look convinced. His charcoal eyes are fixed on you. Studying. Frowning. You almost decide that he’s going to seriously take you away. That’s when a bright voice cuts in.

“It’s time for this new game!” Taehyung announces, taking everyone’s attention at the same time he plops into the empty chair on your other side. 

Good! You’re glad for the interruption, even though you don’t want to play any games after yesterday night. Besides, you don’t think drinking would do you any good either. 

“Nope. I'd rather go swimming again.” It’s Jin who immediately rejects Taehyung. “At this hour. In the ice water.” Adds. Gets to his feet hurriedly. “Naked. And I’ll end up catching pneumonia. That’s fine. I’ll rather die in a hospital bed than dying playing your stupid games.” Practically storms away. 

Taehyung whines in complaint. “Did you see that?” Turns to you. Face adorably scrunched up. 

“I did see that.” You nod sympathetically. 

“Dude is mad at me because he couldn’t hold his breath underwater. Not my fault.” Taehyung reasons. You agree again, doing your best not to roll your eyes. 

“Yes, it's not your fault at all.” You pat his arm. “But I guess we shouldn’t play any games either.” Mutter when he gasps even louder this time. You shake your head immediately. “I mean your games are so fun and all but I’m tired. Everyone must be very tired. These are a bunch of old people, after all. We can take selkas, though.” You show him your phone. “I have a friend who’s dying to see you all.” 

Taehyung scoots closer to you instantly. “Yeah? Is she single?” Asks with a beaming face. This time you roll your eyes. 

“No.” You state. “Don’t even—” Your words get cut off when a third voice joins you. 

“You have a fucking girlfriend moron.” Yoongi pokes his head between you and Taehyung. Facing the selfie. Surprising you and Taehyung both. The last person you’d expect to come willingly for a photo is Min Yoongi. Hence, the weird looks you’re giving him together with Taehyung. “What?” Yoongi snaps when you don’t click the photo. 

“What the hell happened to you?” You voice out.

“Why are you so happy?” Taehyung joins. 

“Did you and Jungkook swap your souls?”  You throw a brief glance at the said guy, who’s intently watching you. 

“Oh, fuck off!” Jungkook scowls even deeper and a pout appears on his lips. 

“Yah! What do you take me for?” Yoongi retorts. Doesn’t let you answer, however. “Take the photo kid.” Orders you. You bid a second more in pure disbelief before actually complying. This time capturing a perfect shot of a pouting you, a grinning Yoongi and a surprised— yet still manage to look incredibly handsome— Taheyung in the frame. “Now,” Yoongi straightens up. “If that friend of yours likes it, I’m a single guy.” Shoots you with his gummy smile. 

“I think he is drunk.” Taehyung whispers aloud. Yoongi hears it obviously. And it doesn’t even take a fractured second before they start arguing like mad cows. You don’t get to join the chaos. Not when Hoseok takes your attention. 

“You’re taking selka without me?” He comes behind you, being careful to avoid Yoongi. “Rude!” Says before winking into the camera. You grin as you press the shutter button. Another frozen moment storing in your phone. The screen goes dark and then the photo you took appears. Just as it does, another sharp pang shoots through your body. Again started under your ribcage. Then travels through your veins. This time you fail to keep it quiet. A mewl leaves you as the phone drops down to the table. 

“Noona… no, no, no.” Jungkook appears next to you like a quick breeze. 

“Fuck!” You hear Hoseok curses. The pain nearly blinds you. Makes your entire body paralyzed for a minute. Then it subsides. Goes away. Only leaving the shock behind. 

“Noona?” Jungkook turns your head toward him with your chin. You’re met with his scared brown orbs. “Jeesus! You’re not okay. We’re going to sleep. Now!” Commands. This time you comply. Without another word. Your brain is still in shock as you allow Jungkook to pull you into your feet.

A mistake!

The moment you fully stand up, a new kind of pain hits you. A loud ring in your ears makes your vision go black. Your head starts to thrum with pain. Sending your head spinning and body stumbling. You feel weak. Then there comes a wave of nausea. Powerful. 

Powerful enough that you actually gag before your hand flies to cover your mouth. 

Jungkook turns you around immediately. Helps you take a few steps away from the table to avoid the mess. You feel his palm rubbing your back as you bend down in half. 

“It’s okay baby. Let go.” He soothes you. Yet it doesn’t come. No matter how sick you feel. How violently your stomach turns. It doesn’t come. Nothing comes out of your mouth except the sound of gagging. And you’re left with the sour taste in your mouth. “It’s okay, it’s okay…” Jungkook keeps coaxing you. 

You hear someone else saying something else, reminding you that you and Jungkook aren’t alone here. You can feel everyone’s eyes on you.

“Shh… it’s fine. Let’s go to the tent, yeah? It’s going to be okay once you sleep.” Jungkook whispers. Soothingly. Softly. You just nod. Praying the annoying nausea and the throb in your head would go away soon. This is new. You’ve been in pain before but it hasn’t been like this. This is an uncharted territory and it scares you.

You force your weak body to straighten up, ready to leave with Jungkook. You don’t want to give up that easily but it’s becoming harder and harder. Maybe you should rest for a bit and it will go away. 

You turn around halfway with Jungkook. That’s when you notice a figure a few feet away from you. From the camp site. To your left. Just standing among the clusters of stunted trees and tangled underbrush. You stop. Eyes zeroing on the figure. Heart picking up speed. You were expecting someone to visit you after all. So, you turn back again, paying full attention to the person who’s standing there eerily still. You try to ignore the trembling in your limbs and the dizzy pulse in your head.

Your eyes travel from the stranger’s head to toes. Taking in everything. 

Woman. You’re certain it’s a woman. You watch the way her hair frames her face. It flows around her face, tangling with the summer breeze. She looks young. Is wearing an oversize black t-shirt—just like the one you’re wearing, which you stole from Jungkook—and a pair of white shorts. Again just like the one you’re—

Wait what?

You jerk your gaze down to your outfit, ignoring the way the sudden movements cause your nausea to double and your head to pound like it’s about to explode. 

You’re wearing a black t-shirt. White shorts. A strange sensation travels across your spine as you turn your gaze back to the woman in the distance. She has moved while you were busy looking at your outfit. She has taken a step forward. Now you can see her better than before. 

Hair.

It’s just like yours. Same length. Same color and she’s even wearing it down like you do at the moment. 

She takes another step forward. You take one back. Her face becomes even clearer. Your breath catches up in your throat. 

It’s you. 

Undoubtedly. Unmistakably. 

You feel like you did when you saw Liya first. But this is different. Even as your alternate version, Liya has her own differences from you. From fashion to habits. This? This is not like that. You’re staring into a mirror. 

She takes another step toward you, forcing you to back up. An alarm blaring in your head. You stare back at your reflection. She is you. Just a little thin. Isn’t she? Now you look closer you think she looks weak. 

Another step forward and another back. Slowly. One. Two. Three. Until you feel the back of your thighs graze the table behind you, backing you into an end and leaving no more escapes. You stop. She doesn’t. She keeps walking forward. One. Two. Three. Until she’s standing a mere few feet away from you. 

You let out an audible shaky gasp. Unexplainable fear engulfing you. 

This can’t be happening. No. No. No. 

You turn your head toward Jungkook, wanting to know if he’s seeing what you’re seeing. Just for reassurance. You expect to see his horrified face as well. Except…

He’s not where he was. 

What?

You immediately turn to your other side, hoping to find Taehyung and others. 

Empty. There’s no one. 

Panic rises in your throat as you turn to your right again. This time faster. Jungkook is not here. But he was just a second ago. So were Taehyung, Yoongi, and Hoseok. You turn around completely. Eyes doing a quick glance over the campsite. 

Empty. 

The table. Chairs. Everything is empty. 

No… What’s happening? 

You start scanning the area while your entire world tilts and spins. Everything else stays the same. The tents. The empty ramen bowls and beer cans on the table. The campfire flickering. But there’s not a sign of anyone else. Of your friends. Only you’re left here alone.

“Ah you little stupid!”

And the other you speak. You turn to her in record speed as you hear your own voice. 

“You fucking moron,” She shakes her head. Looks utterly disappointed. “Look what you’ve done to us.” Gestures at her body. Body that looks weak. She looks sick. She looks like how you feel right now. You gawk at her face, noticing hollow cheeks. You’re pretty sure, your cheeks don’t look like that. Nor do your eyes look that empty and sunken. 

“Wh-who? H-how?” You stutter. Your throat is dry and your mouth is still sour. 

“Look what you have done to us…” She repeats. Ignores your half question. “You ruined us. All because you were a greedy whore,” A bitter laugh escapes her. 

You find yourself incapable of even uttering a single word. She lifts an arm. Thin. As if her flesh has been melted. Brings it toward you. You recoil into yourself, just to fail miserably. There isn’t enough space and her fingers grazed over your cheeks, eliciting a shiver in their wake. “You think this gonna last forever?” She keeps talking. “You think you’ll be able to stay like this?” Another laugh. 

“No… you’re stupid. This is all your fault. Now, these pretty cheeks are going to turn into dust.” She tilts her head to the left, adds pressure to her fingers that you wince at the way her nails dig into your skin. 

“What? I-I—” You try to form words. She ignores you. 

“This pretty skin he adores so much is going to turn into dust.” She drags her fingers down toward your neck. “And he wouldn’t want to paint it with his marks anymore.” The other you smile so brightly. Yet it does nothing to hide the emptiness in her eyes. “And…” She lets her hand fall into your breast, over the soft curves and down toward your stomach. “Everything he likes about us will turn into nothing…” Stops her movements there. “Just because of your greed, we’ll lose everything and—” Her nails dig into your stomach harsher this time. Harsh enough you whimper. “The only thing that would be left for us will be this.” She states. “Only this!” Repeats but louder this time. 

And her nails pierce into your skin. So suddenly and out of nowhere. For a millisecond you feel nothing. Then a sharp pain erupts from your stomach and an inhuman scream rips out of your throat. 

“No!” Both your hands go to hold her wrist when she starts to slice through your skin. Her fingers plunge into your flesh like a blade, tearing your muscles. The wet sound of skin tearing fills the air, together with your screams. You watch in utter horror as the trickles of crimson cover both your hands and hers, then fall down to the fresh grass underneath you. 

“No..Nononono….” You scream again as you do your best to hold her hand in place. She seems weak but right now, no matter how much you try, you fail to keep her from crushing your guts. Literally. Her hand disappears inside you. Forcing more and more horrible screams out of you and making your whole body burn. The sour taste in your mouth gets mixed with the taste of metal. Tears fall down your cheeks uncontrollably. You need to ask her why. But no words make it out your mouth apart from cries and disgruntled noises. She keeps pushing her hand inside you, inch by inch. Until you can only see the white pain. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” And she shushes you. Like she’s consoling a child who lost their piece of candy. “It’s fine…” The pain intensifies. “It’s going to be okay…” Her voice is a high pitched scream that rings inside your head. “It’s okay…” 

It’s okay.

It’s okay…

It’s okay….

Her voice echoes around your skull as you bend down in pain. Still holding onto her hand trying to stop the assault. The pain. It doesn’t stop. But her voice starts to fade away. You think that’s because you’re about to faint. About to fall into an eternal darkness. You fully expect that. Yet it doesn’t come either. Instead her faded voice comes clearer again. This time though, not so high pitched. Low. Panicked. Scared. 

“It’s okay… baby, I got you..”

“Lil… it’s okay. Hey, look at me. Eyes on me, baby…”

You blink. Just once. And the other you blends into thin air. In her presence appears a familiar face. Pale and scared to death. You blink once again and everything comes crashing upon you. The sounds. The concerned voices of your friends. Their presence. Yet you only see one face. 

Park Jimin. 

He’s holding on to your body, which is ready to fall into the ground limp any moment. You’re trying to push him away. You’re having a vice grip on his wrist. You stop thrashing around instantly. Eyes taking in the sight of how harsh you’re gripping his hand. 

Was it him? 

No.. you know what you saw. 

You look at your stomach. Perfectly intact and there’s no single drop of blood. Only the pain. You take a minute to register that there’s no creepy woman who looks like you, trying to push her bare hand inside your guts. It wasn’t real. 

It wasn’t real!

A new sob erupts from you as you let go of Jimin’s hand. Fall into his hold. Bawling and writhing in pain. He catches you. Of course he does. He holds you tight. Goes into the ground on his knees when you slide down. Still doesn’t let you go. Gathers you in his arms and presses your face into his chest. 

“Holy fuck… it’s okay… Lil… Hey I got you. It’s okay…” His gentle voice wraps around you like a soft blanket. You would’ve fallen asleep there if it wasn’t for the nasty pain. The pain… 

That’s all you can concentrate on. 

At least until a sudden scream, which definitely doesn’t come from you, catches your attention. Several curses accompany the scream. Through your pain you feel Jimin gasp. Then you feel a soft warm hand on your head. 

“Oh, you poor thing.” A honeyed voice speaks. A moment passes and in the next you feel the white pain in your guts disappear. Not instantly. No. Gradually. It subsides into nothing. Only the weakness being in its wake. “It was an illusion.” The gentle voice says again. This time you find your head turning around. Reluctantly leaving the protection of Jimin’s warmth. A kind smile treats you when you do. And you recognize the face right away. 

That wrinkled face and grey hair. The old woman from the cottage. You perk up instantly. 

“... what you saw…” She continues with something that quite doesn’t reach your ears. “That was an illusion. It wasn’t real.” She pats your cheek. “You still have time.” Stands up. You panic yet again. This time because you know you’re about to lose the chance. Unfortunately, though, your still weak body refuses to even speak. 

“What do you mean she has time?” For your great pleasure, Jimin takes the chance. The woman throws Jimin a glance in disapproval. 

“She has time, my child. She’ll live until then.”

“How long are we talking about here?” This time it’s Jungkook. His voice sounds stern. As if he’s ready to fight. Strangle this old lady to death. 

“Until the day comes.” The woman on the other hand speaks ever so calmly. “Until she has to return ba—”

“What if she wants to stay?” Jimin doesn’t even let her finish whatever she’s saying. It’s kinda awkward since he’s still on his knees. You half on his lap. But he manages to bridge that with his voice somehow. He isn’t asking. He’s saying. 

A chuckle treats you in return. “I wish she had an option.” The woman shakes her head. Slowly. Then her voice turns serious. “She doesn’t.” 

Your stomach drops. You don’t think it’s possible to feel any more pain than you did a minute earlier but you do. You wait for the old woman to say something. She disappoints you. Or not. Maybe you’re glad when she turns around with nothing else. But Jimin changes that. It’s his time to chuckle.

“Every thing has more than one option. It can’t be just live or die. There must be a way. I know there is.” Jimin challenges. Voice sharper now. His grip on you tightens, as if he’s afraid the woman will take you away. 

“Sometimes it is just live or die.” The kind smile on the old woman’s face slips away. A silence falls over. Once again it feels like the end. End of the conversation. End of your hope. End of everything until Jimin speaks again. This time soft but you hear the steel edge. 

“Well, I’m gonna keep fighting.”

“Very well! Do it.” The woman simply shrugs. Expression indifferent. “I hope you’re ready for the consequences as well. It is, my dear,” She sighs. “not fair to force a fish to live on land just because you love it. That’s no love. That’s greed. Now,” She dismisses two of you as she turns to the rest of the people surrounding you. Hell, you even forgot they are here. You glance briefly at the dumbfounded faces. Mouths opened and brows furrowed. “This is a whole lot of work to do memory wipes.” The woman clicks her tongue in distaste. “Maybe I won’t do it…” Mutters to herself. “Yes… no need for such things. This memory will make her life a bit easy.” 

She turns to take a final look at you. Then like the last time she dissolves into the air. One moment she is there and the next not. You hear a freaked out scream. See Hoseok pushes himself into Yoongi and Taehyung stumbles on his feet. Catch the way Yoona practically climbs on her boyfriend’s body as Jin is crazily trying to find connections on his phone. Next to him stands equally ashen faced three women. J, Seoyoen, and Liya.Only three people remain calm—you, Jimin, and Jungkook. You have other reasons to freak out, however. 

All the pain and horror you endured sinks into the back of your mind as the hopelessness engulfs you whole. After everything, she said that you have no options. It’s either you leave or wither into dust. 

How simple yet complicated. 

You stay frozen in that way for what feels like years and you could’ve kept staying that way if it wasn’t for Jimin who finally breaks out of his miserable haze and prompts you to your feet. He offers to carry you when you refuse. Neither of you talk about what just happened. You ignore your friends. Only smile at Jungkook who starts following you and Jimin. You’ll talk about it later. You’ll talk and decide what’s the best way to say goodbye when your time finally arrives later. You’ll answer your friends’ questions later. For now, you’ll just rest. 

You want it. Desperately so. Yet, apparently the universe always has something against you. Even before you can make two steps forward, a sharp whine of an engine disrupts you. You and Jimin come to a halt at the exact moment a grey car rattles into a stop in front of you. The screeching of tires tears through the night air. Then someone practically jumps out of the backseat before the car engine cuts down. 

This time, it is a woman with a familiar bob cut. Face twisted ugly— you assume by dread. Mrs. Seong. Liya’s secretary. You only met her once and she was calm. Collected. Now, though, she looks as if she just escaped death. Still, you could’ve just shrugged off her presence and walked away if it wasn’t for the second person who joins her. 

Emi!

That’s when you know something is wrong. There is no possible reason for both of them to barge in here if everything is fine. Especially, judging by the looks both of them are wearing, something is surely wrong. Terribly wrong. 

“Mr. Park.” Emi is the one who breaks into a walk first. Makes a beeline toward Jimin who’s still keeping his hand around you protectively. She ignores your presence and the fact that Jimin is holding you, completely. Instead, she unclocks her phone furiously. “I know you’re on a vacation and I’m not supposed to interrupt you but this is very important and I- we had to…” She peers at Jimin like a deer caught in a trap. 

“Okay, what is it?” Jimin inquires. You can feel the way he goes rigid despite the way he asked the question. 

“I- um…” Emi stutters, holding her phone tight in her fingers. That makes Jimin snap. He snatches the phone away with one hand. Other still holding you. You curiously turn your face to look at Jimin. Try to take a glance at the screen but before you can Jimin’s hand drops from your body. He takes a step away from you. You feel someone else holds you protectively. Not letting you fall down. If there was any color left on Jimin’s face after what just happened, they all vanish leaving Jimin as a ghostly skull. 

“Fuck!” He curses aloud, then starts scrolling through whatever he’s looking at, frantically. 

“We are in the process of securing the removal of the videos and articles from all online platforms. I have already consulted with legal counsel, and we are preparing to pursue legal action against all parties involved, pending further analysis. But—” Emi starts rambling so fast that you only catch half of it.

Hoseok is the next person to snatch the phone away from Jimin. And you watch the way he pales as well. Next is Taehyung. You turn your head partially to catch Liya and Seoyone looks about to drop dead. Liya is holding a phone which you guess is her assistance. 

What’s going on? Did Liya actually bomb something down?

“How did this—” Jin questions, now a part of ashened people and holding Emi’s phone. “Who?” His question is directed at Jimin who looks too stunned to even speak. 

“I- I—” Jimin tries. Fails. Rubs a face across his face. 

“Someone obviously has tailed you.” Hoseok expresses. 

You scowl deeply, getting partially annoyed that no one is making any sense. You are at the verge of breaking when Jungkook steps in. He just casually takes away the phone from Jin, which is probably rude since that can be a company matter that doesn’t need strangers poking their nose in. Still, Jungkook does it anyway and that’s only when you realize that the person who was holding you wasn’t him. You glance over your shoulder to catch a curious Yoongi, holding you. You don’t get to dwell on him further when Jungkook gasps. His eyes instantly land on you. 

Well, that’s your cue to say fuck it and see what that is. You walk over to Jungkook with your wobbly legs. Peer over at the screen while he still holds the phone. An article title written in black bold letters is covering the screen. 

Public Decency Out the Window? The Power Couple’s Latest Stunt.

For a second, it doesn’t make any sense. Then your gaze travels to the picture under the title. Captured clearly and in full resolution. A man and a woman inside a supermarket. He has his arms around her. Her face is scrunched up. Not in a painful way but in a pleasurable way. She’s in pure ecstasy. 

You’re in pure ecstasy. Wrapped around in Jimin’s arms. 

Blood drains out of your veins. Heart stops beating. It’s like in a dream you take the device from Jungkook’s hand and start scrolling down. If you thought the worst was having a picture of how you look when you cum published, then the next image knocks the wind out of your lungs. Painfully. 

This time it isn’t a clear shot. Nothing is clear but anyone can see it’s two people having sex inside a car. Jimin’s car. You scroll down. 

The CEO of R.U.N and the CEO of The SE were caught engaging in public sex….

The words fade away. Then comes back again. 

Park Jimin and Kim Liya have reigned as the undisputed power couple of the business world…

Industry peers have voiced their disapproval of the couple’s controversial public behavior…

More pictures. Inside the super market. Jimin whispering in your ear. Back in the car. Even shots from your conversation after those moments. The precious moments you shared. You in his arms again. 

“You said there are videos?” You hear Jin questions. 

“Yes. But we’re already taking them down—” Emi starts. You don’t look at anyone. Just keep your gaze fixed on the screen. Maybe if you stare long enough it would change.

“That won’t change shit. People must have copies on them already.” It’s Taehyung.

“How long has it been since this was out?” Hoseok’s voice is shaky. 

“Uh- since this afternoon." Emi answers. 

“Afternoon? Fucking hours? And you’re only reaching out now?” You no longer care who says what. 

This is a nightmare. This can’t be really happening. Surely, this is another illusion of your mind. Hallucination. Any minute now, you’ll find Jimin talking to you gently and bringing you back to earth. But when you raise your head, you find him helplessly staring at you. 

“I’ve been trying to reach Mr. Park all these times…” Emi finds excuses, her eyes going to Jimin but he doesn’t care. Instead, he reaches you. 

“Lil…” He starts. You shake your head silently asking him not to do it. 

“Okay, how did this get out, though? Someone was following you and you didn’t notice?” Jungkook turns Jimin around with a firm grip on his shoulder. Jimin winces. 

“How did they know how to find you?”

“This is clearly Lil, right? Not Liya?”

“Have you traced it back to who took the pictures?”

So many questions bombarded the space. Only the last one gets an answer, however. Emi clears her throat awkwardly. 

“Yes. We did. We got the person behind the camera.” She taps a finger on her lips. Nervous.

“Good.” Jimin talks for the first time. “Who’s the bastard? What’s the fucking reason?” He turns fully toward his secretary. Emi looks utterly uncomfortable. 

“It’s- it’s someone from The Daily Scandal.” She mumbles inaudibly. 

“Daily Scandal?" Jimin repeats. Seemingly at a loss. 

“What do they want? They don’t fucking videograph illegal pornography. It’s shit— the tabloid but since when do they do these kinds of shits.” Jin presses. 

“The photographer was from The Daily Scandal but the photos are not being published in their magazine. He’s sold them to someone else. Some illegal sites.” Emi explains. 

“What the fuck do you mean, Emi? This doesn’t make sense.” Jimin is visibly trying to keep his calm. 

“He was there to catch some sweet moments of you and Ms. Liya.” Emi rushes to explain. Her face is red and is squeezing her left hand’s fingers with the right. “But he got something big and he sold it…” 

“But why was he there in the first place?” Someone brings out. And Emi falls silent. 

“Emi?” Jimin calls her out. Voice flat. Stern. 

Emi heaves a sigh. Then she turns to look at Liya, who’s standing there looking half dead. Her shoulders slump. Dread covering her beautiful features. It worsens when everyone’s eyes land on her. 

“What the fuck did you do?” Jimin barks so loud that even you flinch. He crosses the distance between him and Liya faster than a thunder. Liya takes a few steps back. 

“Do-don’t,” She tries to regain her composure. Acts like the powerful woman she is. “I- I just wanted to make sure the public knows we’re still in a relationship. My father was nagging me so much about the engagement. I wanted to show it’s—”

“So you sent a man after me?” Jimin yells. 

“No!” Liya finally matches his tone. “I sent a man after us.” Gestures between Jimin and herself. “It was supposed to be moments of us together. People were questioning our relationship after what happened in the club. My family was questioning. I just wanted to show everything was okay. It’s not my fault you decided to take your whore there and fuck her in public.” 

“Kim Liya!” Jimin’s voice booms across the endless night. Shutting everyone including Liya into a dead silence. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.” He adds through clenched teeth. Liya doesn’t say anything back. Just glares at him with a fiery glaze that’s enough to burn the world down. Silence stretches into eons. 

“They think it’s you.” It’s Mrs. Seong who breaks the silence this time. Her face is a blank canvas. “The public.” She continues. “Your family. Everybody thinks it’s you who’s with Mr. Park.” Says to Liya. “Which is a good thing.” Says to Jimin. “This is a violation of privacy and you two are victims. We just need to make an official announcement, apologising for the indecency you caused and claim that you’re ready to face any legal consequences. You were together for a long time and people will surely take your side if we do this right and the news of the engagement will drown out the rest.” She states in one breath. 

And a different kind of realization dawns upon you. 

You’ve seen Liya’s name all across the article but it’s only now that it’s registering in your mind. To anyone and everyone who saw that article, images or the said videos, it’s Liya who’s getting pleasured by Park Jimin. His girlfriend. Not you. In this world you don’t exist. You’re not supposed to exist. 

No wonder you were experiencing a new kind of hell. This explains the hallucinations, doesn't it? It’s not just a few people this time. It’s whole fucking world. This relief you’re feeling right now, probably because that old woman did something. You don’t know how long it will last and the moment it goes away, you think you’ll turn into dust at the spot. 

“You’re not doing that,” Jungkook says. His voice is hoarse. Funny how he’s straight out ordering. “It’s going to put Noona in pain.” Mumbles. He doesn’t have to, however. You know it’s the first thing that rings on Jimin’s mind as well. “It’s going to destroy her.” Still Jungkook adds. Voice raising. Dangerously. 

Jimin’s gaze turns to yours. He doesn’t answer Jungkook. But just one look at his eyes you know what he’s about to say. You almost take a step forward when Liya beats you to it. 

“No. No Jimin. No no no… you can’t” She grabs his arm. Only for Jimin to step back, yanking his arm away from her hold. “This will ruin us.” Liya shakes her head frantically. “You’ll never get through the backlash Jimin. This will ruin your whole damn—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Liya. Stop pretending. We both know you don’t give a damn about my company. You’re only worried about yours. Don’t try pretending to be a concerned girlfriend, because you’re not.”

“Well, of course I am worried about my company, like I should. But this is going to ruin more than just a company, Jimin. This will ruin my whole damn family. And what are you planning to do? Just give up on everything. Please don’t do this. We have to go with the plan.” Liya’s words turn into a plea at the end. Yet Jimin’s expression doesn’t even falter. He simply shakes his head. 

“I’m not putting her in pain. You created this mess Liya. It doesn’t matter what you wanted to do, it was fucked up to do that anyway.” Jimin takes a step back. 

A strange dread wraps around you. 

“Jimin.” You call him. Ready to ask him not to do that too. He doesn’t let you. 

“No, Lil. I’m not doing that. That’s it.” He states firmly. 

“Well what do you want to do then?” Taehyung asks. 

“We’re- I’m admitting that it wasn’t Liya on the videos. I’ll apologise all they want. I’m gonna admit that I fucked up but I love Lil.” Jimin walks to you. Ignore the way everyone goes berserk.

“Mr. Park.”

“Oh, please, Jimin…”

“Are you serious?”

“What’s even happening?”

Every voice drowns out as Jimin makes it toward you. He cups your face. 

“You need to sleep, Love.” 

……………………….

You tried your best. You talked and talked until you couldn’t anymore. Yet no matter how much you tried, Jimin stayed like a stubborn boulder. He was going to admit it wasn’t Liya on the videos. He was going to admit he was an asshole and a cheater. And then he was going to do his best to try and save his company. According to Jin, that was impossible. Several things were bound to happen. 

First, people were going to give Jimin hell. Second, Mr. Kim was going to pull out. Third, Liya was going to survive as the victim. Fourth, there won’t be a company named R.U.N the next time you come into this world. 

And you felt like shit. This never has been your intention. Still you had no other options but to give up in the end. Jimin wasn’t having any of your nonsense, as he said himself. No one could change his mind. 

That’s how you had to leave with Jungkook. You wanted to go home. You were tired. Pained and in the end were mad. You were burning with anger at how stubborn Jimin was acting. So, you wanted to storm away. You did. You practically threatened Taehyung and took his car with you. You even gave Jungkook the cold shoulder since he was supporting Jimin with everything. 

You were a mad mess when you went to sleep last night. Yet sleep had found you in its all glory the moment your head hit the pillow. You had ignored Jungkook’s request to use the bed and had slept in your good old mattress on the floor. 

Now as the morning has finally arrived and the first thing you can feel is a painful thrum in your head, even before you open your eyes. You groan in pain, keeping your eyes shut as you blindly reach for your bedside drawer where you leave your other phone behind. You’ve learned to leave it behind so you wouldn’t have to worry about losing so many possessions when you wake up in a ridiculous place every time you shift. You stretch your arm to the furthest you can. Something cold grazes your fingers but no matter how much you move your hand around blindly you can’t find the top of the drawer. 

With another annoyed groan you open your eyes, cursing the dull headache. Your sleepy eyes land on a white wall. 

What? 

That’s definitely not a sight you’ve been used to seeing when you wake up in your apartment. 

You furrow your brows in confusion. Turn to your back instantly, staring at the low white ceiling.

Familiar! You’ve stared into the same ceiling so many times but definitely not in the mornings. 

You gasp aloud as you sit back like a broken string of a bow. Your head turning around and taking in everything as fast as you can. 

The couch.

TV.

Coffee table. 

The kitchen at the far corner. 

You’re sleeping on a mattress, which is on the floor. 

You’re still at Jungkook’s place! 

You reach for your phone frantically. Check the time. It’s 7 a.m. And you’re certain you slept last night. You practically passed out for at least a good five hours. This can’t be. Maybe you’re dreaming. You’re supposed to wake up in your apartment. In your world. 

Your swirling thoughts get distracted when you hear a throat clearing. You snap your head to your right at the same time a shirtless Jungkook appears in the living room. Seemingly just woken up. Hair all rumpled and face all adorably puffy. He stretches his arms and yawns. Cracks his stiff neck from side to side. To the right first. Then to the left…

His eyes land on you. He freezes. Just for a fractured second before a loud scream leaves his mouth and he stumbles backward. And you have no idea why you join him with that scream. A one loud scream before you feel your stomach churn and the taste of bile rising up your throat, bitters your mouth. 

You rush to your feet in the next. Don’t pay any mind to still perplexed Jungkook as you disappear inside the bathroom. Throwing your insides out. Only one thing is plaguing your mind. 

You haven’t travelled back home. 

It didn’t happen. 

You didn’t shift. 

Something isn’t right. 

Something has changed. 

Yes it is. 

Things have changed. 

Changed!

..............................................................................................................................

a/n- Leave a note if you enjoyed this one!

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You open your heavy eyelids, feeling as if they are glued. Every inch of your body is sore. Head throbbing. Unmistakable signs of heavy crying in the previous night. You wince in pain as the bright sunlight leaking through the ashy curtains strikes your eyes. You groan softly as you try to move your body,only to realize you can’t. That’s when you realize that you’re not even in bed. In fact, you can see the empty spacious bed right across you.  

You’re sitting upright. A soft gasp escapes you. Memories of the previous night slowly start to flood your mind. 

The call. 

Jungkook.

The video.

Daebi.

Hoseok.

And your little breakdown!

The last thing you can remember is you crying ugly into Jungkook’s oversized t-shirt. His words which didn’t quite reach your ears. His soft kisses on your hair. And his arms that were safely wrapped around your petite figure. The very same arms still wrapped around you.

You’re still in his lap. 

Still in the same position where you sobbed like a grieving widow. Your head pressed against his chest. One of your hands is still clutching the fabric of his t-shirt tightly, curled up like a wounded puppy. Jungkook’s cheek is propped up on your head. And judging by the way his chest heaves ever so gently, you know he is asleep. He has fallen asleep while keeping you on his lap. For the entire night. The realization almost makes you feel bad. Almost though. Because no matter what, he is still your kidnapper and waking up in his arms it doesn’t bring comfort.

Absolutely not!

It sends a chill down your spine. You need to get away from him. It was a moment of weakness that you had the previous night. You were heartbroken. Devastated. It was unbearable pain that you endured. It pained you more than how it pained you the day Hoseok told you that he needs to break up. That he’s in love with someone else. Having your boyfriend cheated on you was another thing. But the woman who he cheated with to be your best friend? That’s a completely new territory of pain. 

Then she helped this lunatic to get you into this situation? The thought alone makes you want to laugh aloud. How crazy is that? How pathetic is your life? 

You ran to Daebi when Hoseok broke up with you. And she had you crying on her shoulder while she was the reason for your tears. She trashed Hoseok like she genuinely despised him with her guts. She got wasted with you on your hardest nights. Only for everything to turn into a lie. One blatant lie. 

It’s humiliating when you think about those moments now. How oblivious you’ve been. Hell, you even ran to her when the AI Jungkook started to scare the shit out of you. AOnce again, you ran to the very person behind it all.

Will there be anything harsher that can happen in your life? You don’t think so. So, of course, you were hysterical last night. And this motherfucker, who thought he had the right to drag your already pitiful, pathetic life even lower- had taken advantage of the situation. You would’ve never allowed him to even lay a finger on you if it wasn’t the pain that numbed you of the other senses. 

You wish you could just storm away from his hold. Scream at him. Let all your pain, anger and frustration out on him. The thing is though, despite everything, he is still the same Jungkook who managed to get you here. The same man who looks at you with a crazed look in his eyes whenever you act stubborn. And unfortunately, you are still the same person you were yesterday. Broken. Weak. Scared. Trapped. You are still afraid of this man. Very. Hence your weak attempt of stretching your body slowly. Trying to pry his arms away without waking him. You just want to get out of his hold. 

It doesn’t work. Just as you try to move an arm, his grip tightens around you. A soft whimper escapes him as he rubs his cheek against your hair. “No..” He breathes. A quick kiss to the top of your head follows that. You freeze. “Five more minutes please…” He adds again. Voice soft and hoarse and his words are nothing but a quiet murmur. There was a time that the same hoarse voice in the morning had made you blush violently. Made you excited. Made your pussy clench around nothing. And you would like nothing more than to say that it doesn’t do anything like that to you anymore. Nothing even closer. Then why are you clutching his shirt like your life depends on it? Then why does your breath catch up in your throat, that way? 

Well, it’s because you are scared. Right? Especially, after what you did yesterday, you have all the reasons to be scared. What if he decided to lock you up in a room? What if he decided to chain you to a wall? What if-

“You hungry?” JungKook brings a hand to push back your hair from your face. Doesn’t take his hand right away. He starts to gently massage your scalp. His voice is still sleepy. His movements are deliberate. “Hm? Pretty?” He questions again in your silence. 

“How?” You don’t answer his question. Instead you throw another one at him. 

“How, what?” He still doesn’t loosen his grip. Not even a little bit. Keeps you pressed against his body. 

“How come you have that v-video?” You manage to get your words out without breaking down. A pang shoots across your chest. You’ll never get over that. No. 

“I just happened to have it.” He answers vaguely, much for your displeasure. Yet you decide not to question further about the matter. You change the course instead. 

“How lon-” This time your voice cracks up. New lump forming in your throat. It pains you. Even the memory of it pains you as if you’re physically bleeding. Even though hours have passed, the pain returns to you fresh. Just like how it was the first time you saw the video. “L-long?” You clutch Jungkook’s t-shirt even tighter, looking for strength from a piece of fabric. “Ho-how long have they-”

“Longer than you think.” JungKook answers you, saving you the misery of having to ask it aloud. “It doesn’t matter, princess. It’s all in the past now. You need to let that go, you know. They don’t deserve you. You deserve much better. They can fuck off.” He finally loosens his grip a little bit. Just enough for him to bring his hand which was in your hair to your chin, and lift your face up. You just let him. He gazes deeply into your eyes. His eyes glowing golden in the morning light. “They aren't worth your time.” Smiles at you softly. 

Easy for him to say. It wasn’t him who had been madly in love with the same person half of his life. It wasn’t him who trusted someone so badly that the very obvious signs have become obscure. You bite into your bottom lip to stop the trembling. To stop the sting in your eyes. You are exhausted. Can’t survive another crying session. 

“Hey, hey!” Jungkook sighs. “Don’t cry please. I swear, I didn’t want to hurt you, baby. But you weren’t trusting me enough to know that I’m not the bad guy. You were thinking that bitch of a friend of yours could do any good to you. I had to make you see things clearly. I’m so sorry that it hurts. But I’ll make it okay, yeah? I’ll make sure you’re okay. Don’t cry now. Hate seeing you cry.” He rests his forehead against you. You hate to be so close to him. You’re tired, however. So, you give up. Just focus on trying not to cry. Focus on pretending that his presence actually calms you down. 

It’s all because you’re heart broken. Once you’re healed, you’ll never feel comfort in him again. Then, you don’t plan on living this life for that long anyway. It’s not like you got much to lose at this rate. And, besides getting out of this luxurious prison, now you have a confrontation to do. You have to meet Daebi and Hoseok. You have to slap Hoseok hard across his face. 

You have to call Daebi a ‘bitch’ to her face. 

…………………

You eye your breakfast wearily. Even the sight of the delicious- looking pancakes makes your stomach churn awfully. You have no appetite at all. Jungkook, however, never was a fan of you skipping meals. He’s annoying. Too freaking annoying. All you want is to fall deeper into the hole of misery. Just sulk. Be alone with the pain. Such a shame that you’re not allowed to make even simple decisions for yourself. 

It’s ridiculous really. Jungkook hasn’t done anything bad. He’s been nothing but kind to you. Caring. Ever so gentle. Loving. Warm. But you’re still afraid. Maybe that fear is deeply rooted somewhere in your brain. With no way of escaping. Maybe it’s because you’ve experienced how much he can change when it’s needed. How he’s turned into a monster when things aren’t going in his way. He might not have done anything bad yet but deep down you know he will, if he wants that. 

So, of course you slightly flinch in your seat when Jungkook suddenly sighs. You know exactly what is coming even before Jungkook opens his mouth. That’s why you instantly dig your fork into the soft pancakes. But then he surprises you with his words. 

“You loved him that much? You loved him so bad that it still hurts you? After all this time? It’s been years, isn’t it?” 

Yes!

That’s the simple and direct answer. You don’t say it aloud, however. See, the fear. Jungkook will not appreciate that answer. 

“Why?” Jungkook asks again. You don’t look at him. Just keep picking at your food. Trying not to think too hard about his question because it’ll surely make you cry again. 

Why? He asks. You can come up with a list. You know you can but you don’t want to. Jungkook grabs the stool next to you. It screeches against the floor, making you flinch. 

“Tell me, baby? What does that motherfucker have that I don’t?” He bends down in an attempt to look at your eyes. You don’t avoid his eyes nor do you look at them. He won’t like the answers if you tell him. For a start, you would like to bring up the fact that Hoseok hadn’t kidnapped you. How he hadn’t created a damn app to traumatise you. But Jungkook won’t like those answers. Besides, it’s not like you’ve hurt completely because of love. No. You are hurt about many things. You loved Hoseok, yes. Maybe you still do. The thing is, though, you’ve come to the conclusion that he’s a cheater a long time ago. And you’ve been loving him less each day ever since. This is not about that. No. This is about trust and betrayal. 

“I don’t love him anymore.” You simply mumble before stuffing your mouth with a forkful of pancakes. Jungkook scoffs. 

“Yes, but you did.”

“People make mistakes. It’s just past.”

“Yeah? Then why are you sulking? Why is my pretty girl’s eyes all bloodshot and why does she look so tired?” 

You put the stupid fork down. It looks like you will have no way of escaping this conversation. “I hate them,” You exhale. Close your eyes. “I hate them and I hate myself. I hate you. I hate how I trusted them ever so easily. I hate that I trusted you. I hate how much of a stupid, pathetic loser I am. I fucking hate my life.” You blurt out before you can even process. Just as the last word leaves your mouth you feel insanely calmed. As if you’ve put down a heavy burden you’ve been carrying around. Just for a minute, however. In the next minute, your face is caught between Jungkook’s rough fingers. He turns your face toward him. That strangely soft and warm look he had in his eyes all this morning has vanished. In its place now is that madness. The look you fear so much. It’s just like the time you told him that he’s sick and he didn’t love you. He’s staring you down just like he did that day. You gulp harshly. A shiver runs down your spine. 

Jungkook brings his face closer to you. Close enough until you can feel the tip of his nose nudging against yours. “You,” he grits. “Can hate them all you want. That is what the bastards deserve. And baby,” he squeezes your cheeks hard. Hard that it hurts you. “You can hate me too. Because like I said, you will learn to love me one day. But,” he pauses for a moment. “Don’t ever fucking say you hate yourself. You hear me?” Questions. “Do you?” Shakes your head. “Do not ever fucking talk bad about you.” 

All you can do is stare back at him. Wanting badly to glare. Wanting badly to scream. He controls everything in your life. From what you eat to what you wear. Now he wants to control your thoughts as well? You’re already physically trapped. He wants you to be mentally trapped as well? 

“I can do whatever I want.” You spit back. God, you wanted to sound as how you feel. Angry. Spiteful. Powerful. But the way you say it is completely the opposite. You sound weaker than ever. Instead of a statement it sounds like a question. And all that it does is make your eyes well up. How helpless you are. 

“No.” Jungkook shakes his head. “No you can’t, Pretty. Because, guess what? You are fucking mine and I don’t like when people talk bad about what’s mine. Even you yourself.” He lets go of your face. Just to pick up the fork. You stay motionless as he takes a piece of pancake in it and brings it to your mouth. “Now just eat like a good girl.” 

You turn your gaze away. Oh, the way you want to throw a tantrum. The way you want to stand up for yourself. “I’m not hungry.” You use your palms to wipe away the unshed tears from your eyes. Jungkook exhales in frustration.

“If you want revenge, I can make that happen, you know. I can avenge you.” He drops the fork without any further fuss, which surprises you. Yet again. But that’s not what makes you snap your head toward him back. He’s controlling everything. And you’re too weak to change that. But… But this is something you’ll never want. You don’t know if you want revenge. Maybe. Maybe not. All you know is that you want a chance for a confrontation. You want to scream at Hoseok. Then above everything, you want Jungkook to stay away. He won’t rob you of your chance for salvation. 

“No!” You gasp. “No Jungkook,” Finally, you manage to glare at him. “I’ll never forgive you if you lay a finger on one of them. I’ll hate you to my grave and I promise you, you’ll never see the day I’ll become yours.” You don’t say the part where you’ll never be his either way. Following your words a heavy silence falls. A deafening silence. Just the gentle sound of the heater filling the air. And Jungkook’s glare. 

You expect him to get mad. Expect him to threaten you with something bad. Yet it seems, this day is full of surprises. He does nothing sort of that. Simply gets to his feet. Waste no time as he rounds the kitchen island and walks past you toward the doorway. Almost leaves you to be. That’s when you suddenly burst out another question. Or a request. You don’t know where it came from. 

“I just want to meet them.” Your voice makes Jungkook halts in his track. A soft yet bitter chuckle escapes him. 

“Not a fucking chance.” He informs you before leaving this time for real. 

Of course. Who were you kidding?

………………….

You haven’t seen Jungkook all day. Mainly because you've been holed up inside your (his) room. Just after your little but not- so- civil chat in the morning, you stormed into your room. Have spent the entire day in bed. Just like you wanted. Morphing. Sulking. Reminiscing. Going through your memories, looking for signs and clues that you must’ve missed. Completely drowning in your misery. 

And Jungkook hasn’t even poked his head in. Not even once, which is very unlike him. He never does that. Never allows you to be alone for more than five minutes unless it’s really necessary. Like when you are in the bathroom or he is.  He would always breathe down your neck. Not giving you any chances to try anything funny. Or he just wants to be around you. Even though you don’t talk to him let alone entertain him. 

Then there is the fact that he hasn’t been worried about your meals today. Sometimes, he acts like your father. Always making sure you eat well. Not today. You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and there is no Jungkook to nag you about it. 

You find that awfully weird. Odd. Even your insides churn. It’s nearing midnight now and the entire apartment is in eerie silence. You sit back on Jungkook’s bed, letting the dark grey silk sheets fall across your body. 

When you first realized that Jungkook wasn't going to come and bother you, you were happy. Grateful. It was exactly what you wanted — a moment alone. You expected you’d feel better. At peace. Because you hate Jungkook’s ever- looming presence. This was the day you’ve been dreaming about ever since you woke up in this apartment next to Jungkook. The thing is, however, you feel neither. You feel worse to be honest. Feel anxious. So fucking restless. If you're being honest with yourself, all this time, you’ve been waiting for Jungkook to barge inside the room. You were expecting him. When he didn’t it had put you on edge. Now you can no longer just sit back and wait. 

You remove the sheets as you place your trembling feet on the warm carpeted floor. This is truly maddening. How Jungkook is affecting you, even when he is not around. You don’t like this silence. It’s unsettling. You don’t want Jungkook, but at the same time you want him. At least you’ll know he’s not planning to kill you or something when you have eyes on him. Right? That’s why you feel like you’re losing your mind. That’s the only reason you step out of the room and walk toward the living room in silence. That’s exactly why a breath of relief escapes your lips when you spot the said man sprawled on the couch. 

The TV is on. Muted. Luminous colors of the screen are flashing across Jungkook’s face. His eyes are deeply fixed on the screen. You can only see the side of his face. Chiseled jaw. Prominent nose. Glinting eyes. Pink pretty lips. His lip ring glistens in various colors. His hair has turned purple since the person on the screen is standing in a purple background. He is ethereal, isn’t he? Simply not human. Can’t be human. Oh, you hate him. Hate how good looking he is. 

Jungkook turns his head slowly, obviously sensing your presence. Or he must’ve heard you approaching. His eyes meet yours. They are still not soft. Still angry. Still stiff. You stay that way for a long minute. Then you turn around. Fast. Making a beeline for the kitchen. 

……………………….

Despite feeling very anxious and restless without  your captor around, the other major reason that forced you out of the comfy bed sheets was hunger. It doesn’t matter how stubborn, rebellious, and alone you want to be, in the end, you’re just a human who needs fuel to function. An entire day without food isn’t serving you well. Your stomach is grumbling. And you feel weak. 

You scan your eyes around the now familiar kitchen. Clean and tidy. Spotless. Jungkook is the tidiest person you’ve ever seen. Yet today it seems like no one has used the kitchen at all. It’s funny how you’ve never cooked anything in this kitchen. It was always Jungkook who cooked for you. Now, after all this time, it feels ridiculous to even think about making your own food. Besides, it's not as if you want to cook in this place anyway. It makes it oddly homey. When you start to cook in a place it means you are going to stay there for a long time. Not just a couple days like at a hotel. But in a place where you’d come back every evening. No. You don’t want that at all. You’ll never get used to living in this prison. 

Your body, however, doesn’t care what you want or not. Another growl erupts from your tummy. It’s getting unbearable. Like you are starting to eat yourself from the inside out. Maybe you can eat cup noodles. That’s not similar to cooking, right? All you have to do is boil some water. You give yourself a tiny nod before turning toward the pantry where you know noodles are. 

“Are you hungry?” 

A loud scream leaves your throat as you turn back at light speed. Almost lose your balance at how startled you are. Jungkook just stands in the doorway, completely unphased at the fact that you lost your shit because of him. You clutch your chest with both your hands, scowling at the man in front of you. He and his damn sleazy movements. 

“Want me to order something?” Instead of any apology for startling you, Jungkook fishes out his phone. “What do you want?” Asks again when he has the device on his hand. You take a minute, gaping at his face. Even the sound of that makes your mouth salivate. Yet you shake your head. You don’t want to look even weaker in his eyes. Someone who’s incapable of anything. How shameful that you have to seek him for every little thing. 

“I’m not hung-” You start to refuse his offer just to get cut off when he suddenly closes the distance between you. Two long strides and your feet are touching. 

“For fucks sake, (___), don’t fucking make me the bad guy.” He barks. “Don’t make me force things on you. I,” He pauses for a long breath. When he speaks next his voice drops an octave lower. “Really hate it when you’re freaking stupid to see things clearly. And I’ll hate it even more if I have to fucking knock some sense into you.” His eyes bore into yours without even blinking. You feel your heart skip a beat before starting to go mad. Even your stomach churns awfully. You wouldn’t have been able to hide the shaky breath you let out even if you tried to. Fear rises up in your throat in the form of bile, even when you haven’t had anything in your system. “Don’t make me do things that both of us will regret.” Jungkook adds lastly. Doesn’t step away from you. Just keeps his ground, clearly expecting you to answer. You don’t know what the answer he’s looking for. Yet you answer with another question. Your voice is quiet and meek.

“What are you going to do Jungkook? Hit me? Kill me?” You bite back the tremble in your voice with much struggle. Jungkook looks at you for a second like he’s surprised, then he shakes his head. 

“You? Never. But I can certainly make everyone else in this world suffer. You don’t even have a single idea about what I'll do for you baby. Even for simple things. You refuse to eat? Lemme just make you want to eat.” He finally steps back. Scrolls through his phone and then turns it around to show you the screen. A picture. Photo. Of someone who’s dearly familiar to you. Hair dyed in silver and an earring on one ear. Smiling to someone hidden from the camera. 

Park Jimin!

You gasp aloud. That picture looks new. Last time you saw him, he had black hair. Park Jimin is someone who’d dye his hair a new color every month but you haven’t seen him with silver hair before. You know it’s a new picture. 

Did Jungkook take it?

Does he know Jimin as well?

Did someone else take the picture and send it to Jungkook?

Why is he showing you this now? Is he threatening you? 

Your eyes dart between the screen and Jungkook’s face. Jungkook smiles softly. “You won’t want me to just make any of your loved ones hurt now, will you?” He locks the device. You watch as your friend’s image disappears. “Because, I will, pretty. I fucking will.” He pockets the device back again. You feel nauseous. There’s a sickening joy in Jungkook’s voice. 

“Y-you- you wouldn’t.” You stare at him. That smile on his lips never even falters. 

“Oh, but I will.”

“I told you, if-if you ever lay a finger on anyoneー”

“Do you think I’d just listen to you threaten me? Pretty…” Jungkook clicks his tongue in displeasure. “You are already here, aren’t you? You are already mine. You might not want to acknowledge it yet but you. Are. mine. And I know you’ll come to admit it sooner or later andー” He taps the pocket where he just put his phone. “Meanwhile, we can play it easy or hard.”

“But why- why Jimin? He never did anything wrong to you.” You hastily take a step forward. To be honest, you have no idea of what this man is capable of doing. Not all of it at least. He kidnapped you, yes. He’s sick in the head, yes. But that might not be all he has. He can be even more ruthless. He can be capable of murder even. You need to make sure that isn’t the case. 

“But he did.” Jungkook smirks. “He fucking did. If I have to make him suffer, I have all the reasons to do so. Just because I haven’t done anything, that doesn’t mean I can’t, baby. The only reason why I haven’t done anything to anyone, yet,” He brings a hand up. Grabs a loose strand of your hair between his fingers. Plays with it. “is because you are too precious to me. I mean it when I said I don’t want to hurt you, Pretty. But don’t test my patience too much.” His eyes go from that stiffness to softer like a flicker of a switch. So does his daunting smirk. Instead, he smiles at you gently again as he pushes that strand of hair behind your ear. Gently. His fingers grazing over your ear and face ever so lightly. Then he drags those fingers over the side of your neck. And a shiver runs down your spine electrocuting your whole body. You tremble visibly, your breath tangling in your throat. 

It’s fear, right? It’s just fear. 

“Now, you're a big girl. It’s ridiculous that I have to threaten to take away your toys to make you eat.” Jungkook takes his hand back. Just as his touch disappears you feel insanely cold. Hollow. A longing stirs your insides. 

It’s just the fear. You’re awfully scared of him. That’s it. 

He just threatened you with your friends’ life after all. You don’t know what Jimin ever did to Jungkook. Jungkook sure does hate Hoseok because he is your ex. Then you know Jungkook hates him because he hurt you as well. Just like he hates Daebi despite her role in getting you in his hold. Then maybe… Could it be the same reason he hates Jimin? Can it be that Jimin knew too. He knew about Daebi and Hoseok. What if he knew about your kidnapping as well? What about Nina? Did they all know about what was going to happen to you and turn a blind eye?

You feel your heart clenches painfully at the thought. There’s a huge chance that it might be the case. Yet still, you don’t think any of their misery would bring you any satisfaction. No. Revenge is a strange word for you. All you want is a chance for a confrontation, which you know you might not have. Unless you work for it, of course. And after everything, you want all of them to be in a position where you can talk to them. So, you fear Jungkook without a doubt. Yes. This is all about that. 

“I’m ordering Samgyeopsal.” Jungkook informs you, voice sharp. 

You just nod. 

…………………..

The midnight dinner had passed in utter silence where you watched a crappy late-night reality show. It was a very uncomfortable hour where you sat idly next to Jungkook, your mind screaming with  unasked questions. You wanted to know. Wanted to ask. How did he know Jimin? Was it just like you thought? How did he know Daebi? When did they meet? Lots and lots of things. In the end, however, you asked nothing. Simply because you feared the answers. And after that hour, you decided it was enough. That it was time to crawl inside your room back again.

See now, while you spent an entire day starving yourself, you at least hoped to come up with a plan. A plan that is meticulous enough to free you from this shithole. But you managed nothing close to that. All you did was cry, being depressed, then anxious. Now, just as you close the door behind you and stand in the darkness, you know you’re about to do the same thing all over again. This time, however, you feel it ten times harder. New suspicions about your other friends’ participation in your misery has made it worse. 

The lonely feeling freezes you to your marrow. The pain splits your heart in two. The restless feeling makes it hard for you to breathe. It all hits you like a freight train.

Oh, you shouldn’t have been this quick to return here. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt an extra hour watching that crap show. 

Fuck, it’s hard.

You actually can’t breathe. 

You turn around to stare at the closed door. The room is in pitch darkness since you’ve not bothered to switch on the lights and the curtains are drawn. Still you can see the outlines of the closed barrier that isolates you in this room. You close your eyes for a second, letting the pain engulf you whole again. 

Memories. 

Memories of shared laughter and tears. 

Moments spent together. 

Drunken nights and awful jokes. 

Friends. Lovers. Betrayal!

A tangled sob leaves your throat. You reopen your eyes, allowing tears to roll down your cheeks. The cruel reality of how alone and helpless you are once again registering in your mind. If what you think was true, if Jimin and Nina knew this from the beginning, then you’ve been alone all your life. No one has been on your side. Ever. You are all you have. No one has ever cared or will care about you. You bet that they’ve already forgotten about you. They probably have. You will never have someone to wipe down your tears when you cry. Offer you a shoulder to rest your head when you’re tired. You have no one. No one… 

Except….

You don’t even wait a second to think what you’re doing or to consider the consequences. Simply can’t afford one more minute of this loneliness. Of this pain. You yank open the door and run out. Tears streaming down without a break. Heart violently pounding against your ribcage. Your hurried footsteps muffled against the marble floor. 

No one has been on your side ever. You have no one to turn to. Except this one man, who’ll hold you tight when you cry. And all you want is that. Someone to tell you that it’s going to be okay. That nothing was your fault and they are there for you. You don’t care for the fact that the man you’re running into is another one who caused your demise. It’s fine. You just need comfort. A bandage to cover your wound. It’s fine that it’s not a permanent solution and you’ll regret ever doing this in the morning. You’ll worry about that later. For now, you need someone to be on your side. 

So, you don’t stop until you barge into the living room again. You don’t stop until you’re met with the man you were looking for. Just about to leave the room himself. You only give him time to just turn around when you stand in front of him. Jungkook’s innocent- looking, doe eyes, which don’t suit a person like him, go wide at your unexpected sight. You disregard his surprise. Instead you wipe your tears away with both your palms. Drop your hands down. You have no idea what you wanted from him or from just barging in here. 

“I- just- ca-can you- uh-” Hence your pathetic stuttering. Your hands clenched around your cozy shorts to gain a strength that you didn’t know you needed. But for your luck or not, you don’t have to elaborate any further. Jungkook’s eyes soften as you watch. A kind of hurt flashing across them before he closes the distance between you in a flash. And you find yourself crushed between his strong arms. One arm wraps around your waist, the other cradles the back of your head.

“Of course I will, Pretty. Of course I will…”

…………………

Whatever you expected when you ran to Jungkook, it certainly wasn’t this. Sharing the bed? Maybe. You fell asleep on his lap last night for the sake of fuck. Maybe you wanted to have someone to lie next to you, filling the empty side of the bed. But this isn’t just sharing a bed. The way one of his arms is curled under your head isn’t just sharing a bed. The way his other hand is thrown across your waist and holding your hand isn’t just sharing a bed. Nor is the firm press of your back against his broad chest or the tingling sensation of his breath against your neck. 

But the problematic part of this situation isn’t just how he’s holding you close. The problem is that you're not completely opposed to it. You’re enjoying it to be honest. You blame it on the emptiness inside you. On the craving for a caring presence. Not an AI this time but a real person because the way Jungkook’s heart is beating is real. How his chest is heaving when he breathes is real. How his thumb is gently rubbing your palm is real. That’s the reason for you to like this. 

Then why does your heart pound in your poor ribcage? 

Why does your breath hitch with every rub of his thumb against your palm?

Why does your whole arm feel numb—in a good way? 

Above everything else, why do you want him to keep doing it? No. That’s not the case after all. You want him to just do something more. 

You close your eyes for the hundredth time, hoping you would actually be able to fall asleep this time. To act like your stomach isn’t doing weird turns. You fail. Miserably so. All you manage is a blink before you reopen your eyes when Jungkook pushes you back more into his body. His thumb keeps rubbing your palm. 

It feels good. So damn good that even a moan nearly slips through your lips. You have to bite your bottom lip so hard not to let that happen. You can’t risk it now. Can’t let him know that he’s affecting you. Because you don’t want to get affected. No. You can’t. You are not feeling a fire travelling across your veins. Starting from the spot where he’s touching you. He’s touching your palm for God’s sake and you’re doing your best not to moan? 

What is fucking wrong with you? 

Jungkook sighs dreamily behind you, pressing his body more and more into you. He changes the pattern he is rubbing your palm. Instead of circles, he starts to rub back and forth, making you squeeze your thighs desperately. 

No. No. No….

This can’t be happening. You are most definitely not getting wet. Not because of this psychopath. Not because of a simple touch. 

“Why aren’t you sleeping, Pretty?” Jungkook suddenly questions. His voice is raspy and thick. Even his voice sends a tingle between your legs. 

What the actual fuck?

“Not sleepy.” You answer him with your own hushed voice. Or is it hoarse too? Thick? 

“Why not? It’s late.” Jungkook raises his head a bit. As if he wants a look at your face. His thumb is still playing with your palm. “This doesn’t help?” He questions as he lifts your hand up. “I’m trying to help you relax.” Explains though you don’t ask. Well, you don’t know ‘relax’ is the right word to use in this context. Jungkook doesn’t let you question it. He lifts your hand up and up then back, behind you and over your shoulder. “Gentle touches help people relax, you know,” He keeps explaining while you wait with bated breath. Clueless but also excited about what he is doing. Then you feel the cold touch of his nose nudging against your palm. “Doesn’t it work for you?” Gently questions. That’s all he does before his nose replaces his lips. He kisses your palm softly. Hesitantly. Carefully. As if you’d break if he presses a little hard. 

He waits for a minute while keeping his lips on your palm. Then when he gets no reluctance from your frozen body, he does it again. Another kiss follows. Once then twice. Three times and four times. Slowly. Sensually. His lips brush over your palm like a feather. And you shiver. Eyes fluttering close at the heavenly feeling. 

“Huh, Pretty? It doesn’t help?” Jungkook repeats his earlier question in between his soft kisses. You don’t know how to answer that. So you keep quiet, letting Jungkook kiss your hand. Over and over. And with every kiss it turns a bit tender. His lips linger on your palm a little more than before. As if he’s losing his mind and getting caught in the moment. As if he doesn’t know what he’s doing. “Damn it! Why’s your hands so soft?” A soft groan accompanies his words. Words that go straight to your lower belly, igniting a fire there. 

And you fail to keep your reactions neutral. A heavy, shaky sigh escapes you even without your knowledge. Jungkook takes that as a good sign. His kisses grow more deliberate.But what truly breaks you is when you feel the tip of his tongue grazing over your hand. Gently and lightly. Circling across your skin, just like how he did with his thumb. 

“Jungkook…” You mumble which comes out as a desperate moan. You swear that you don’t intend to do that. Jungkook, however, groans. Applies more pressure into his action. His other hand curls even more under your neck, dragging you insanely closer to him. Practically starts to make out with your palm, shifting between open mouthed kisses and licks. You feel your whole body go weak. Blood pumping across your veins extra fast. “Y-you- you can’t.” You weakly whimper once again, half turning toward him despite your words. 

“Yeah?” Jungkook relents. Pushes your hand away from his mouth. You find it amazing how he’s breathless. Cold air replaces the warmth where his tongue had just been, making you already miss the warmth, the tingling sensation. “Then ask me to stop.” He pants. Gives you time to do as he says. 

And isn’t that easy? Just ask him to stop. You know that he’d listen. 

Ask him to stop. 

All you do is whimper. 

You can’t let this happen. 

You press your palm into his mouth. 

Fuck, you need to stop. 

“Oh, Jungkook….” You finally moan aloud at the same time he kisses your palm again. 

“You don’t want me to stop, Pretty?” Jungkook shifts his attention from your palm to your fingers. Wraps his lips around your thumb and starts suckling gently, almost making you cry. “Answer me, baby. You don’t want me to stop? Want me to keep going?” Even during your filthiest sex calls, Jungkook’s voice hadn’t sounded this thick with lust. It gets your head spinning. Rest of the world and everything else disappears from your mind. 

You don’t know how you responded to him. If you said yes or just nodded. But in the next moment you find your back pressed against his chest once again. This time, however, instead of just keeping you close, Jungkook is rocking his hips against your plump ass. You can unmistakably feel the hardness that is being ground against your flesh, creating an insatiable desire inside you. 

All you can manage to do is whimper. Stay still and let him grind against you. His cock rubbing against your ass firmly with every thrust of his hips. He stopped playing with your hands sometime ago, for much of your dismay. Not that you can complain about the change, however. This is better. Even though you know it shouldn’t feel great, you’re slowly slipping into a blissful numbness. 

You would blame this on not having any actions in your life lately. True that with Jungkook- when you thought he was a mere AI- you brought yourself into mind shattering orgasms more than one time. That somehow doesn’t match the sensation you’re feeling now. That fire was nowhere near the wildfire rapidly spreading through your nerves right now. 

Well, if Jungkook managed to make you cum hard just by his voice, why would you be surprised of him being able to get you drooling just with his cock grazing over your ass. 

Of course, he knows what he’s doing. One hand splayed across your waist to keep you in place. Face hidden in your neck. Lips occasionally touching your skin. His soft grunts a beautiful melody in your ear. His hard cock a sin in your body.

This is wrong.

But you need more.

Otherwise you’ll explode from the pressure inside your tummy. You’ll die from neediness. It’s crazy how desperately your pussy has been clenching over nothing. Embarrassing how much you’ve soaked your panties. 

“Jungkook…” You moan out his name once again. Jungkook doesn’t stop his firm grinding as he answers you.

“Yes, pretty?” He plants a kiss under your ear. “What is it?” Asks through clenched teeth.

You don’t know how to ask him what you want. It’s humiliating. You swore you hate him, didn’t you? You swore you will never be his. Technically, this is nothing like that. Just because you’re horny, it doesn’t mean you’ve entered a truce with this guy. Still you feel like crawling into a little hole at the prospect of being this needy for him. Being at the peak of begging for more. 

“What do you want, baby?” Jungkook questions again. You don’t answer. Still not knowing how to phrase your words. Jungkook doesn’t have much patience, though. “Nothing?” He slows down his movements, making you nearly panic. You don’t want him to stop. No. “If you don’t ask, I can’t give it to you.” He stops rocking his hips against you altogether. “Do you want to go to sleep—”

“No!” This time you actually panic, turning your head around to look at him at light speed. “No, no, please..” Words leave your mouth before you can process it. Jungkook raises head again to take a proper look at you. 

“No?” He arches a brow. You freeze, suddenly realizing that you had said that. But it’s out anyway and you really don’t want him to stop. It’s too late for that now. “Then what do you need, pretty? Use your words, huh?” As if to give you what you’d miss, he presses his hardness a little more into your ass. Or it is to show you how hard he is. Either way it forces the words out of your mouth that he, oh so badly needs. 

“Y-you..” You manage breathlessly. 

“Me?” Jungkook tilts his head. “You have me here, don’t you, pretty?” You nearly cry in frustration. 

Why would he want to make you say it aloud?

“W-want you to to-touch me.” You stutter around again, growing impatient and more needy with every passing second. It’s funny how the day has turned into this. Haven’t you hated him with a passion until now? Well, you still hate him. Maybe even more because he has this much influence on you. To make you say things that you don’t want to say that easily. Of course, you hate him. But that hate drowns in a lake of desire. Deeper and deeper. Disappears somewhere in the murky depths as soon as Jungkook suddenly grabs one of your boobs, making you gasp aloud. 

“Yeah? Like this?” He makes sure with his hand already starting to mold the soft flesh beneath his palms. You shudder, eyes fluttering close. You answer him in a gentle hum and for your pleasure Jungkook takes that as enough an answer. Just for a minute, however. Then in the next, he is questioning you again. “Is that all you need baby? Just this? Want me to touch your tits?” He begins his slow grinding back, massaging your breast with just the right pressure. 

You’re almost drooling. Just with this. His hands and his cock grazing over your body through all the clothing. Pathetic. But you can’t care. Too horny for your own good. You would hate yourself at the way you shake your head. Not Jungkook though. The guy loves it judging by the way he kisses your cheek with appreciation.

“No? You need more? What do you need, pretty?” 

You’re pushing back on his cock, not knowing exactly what’s happening. It sure feels like a dream when this time you open your mouth without much persuasion.

“To-touch me pro-properly… please… god, Jungkook…” You complete the rest of your sentence with pulling your t-shirt up. Initiating what you want. 

And Jungkook laughs. Fucking laughs!

Rich sound of his laughter vibrates across your body. It’s sinister. Cruel. Taunting. He’s letting you know how pathetic you’re being and how it amuses him. You should feel embarrassed. Ashamed. And you do. Of course, you do. Your face reddened at the sound. A strong urge to hide your face somewhere getting to you. But with shame, you get that familiar stirring on your lower stomach. 

Desire. Burn. 

Burn for Jeon Jungkook. 

Jungkook knows how to play you. He had played you even before he got to lay a single finger on you. He played you like you were a guitar. And now he’s slowly dragging you into that same headspace. 

Making you his little play thing. 

Someone who’s completely lost their senses.

“Pathetic, princess. So fucking pathetic. You have no shame!” Jungkook grunts before giving into what you asked him to do. His hand snakes under your t-shirt, finding your bare breasts. “See? Have no shame at all. You came to bed with me, without wearing a bra?” Mocks. His voice is contemptuous. He instantly starts to mould, his thumb flicking over your nippels occasionally. Pays equal attention to both of your tits. Pinches your perky pebbles. “Such a slut!”

In your defense, you didn’t expect this to happen. You expected to go to sleep alone. It’s not fair to assume that. But who would care? Certainly not you because every demeaning word of him is making your body shudder. Your pussy aches. Your empty hole clenches around nothing. And all you want is that emptiness to go. Want that to change. Desperately want to be filled. Especially, since Jungkook is back to grinding. 

“Oh, god… Oh, fuck!” You moan aloud, throwing all the remaining sanity and care into the wind. 

“Yeah? Does this feel good, pretty?”

You nod violently. 

“How good? Are you dripping already? Are you making a mess for me?” 

You nod again, followed by another needy moan. Jungkook curses before he stops playing with your tits. You try to protest which just dies in your throat when he drags his hand down through your stomach. Down and down, and stops just below your waistband. 

You wait patiently with a bated breath. Completely still despite your heavy breathing. It feels like your skin is burning where his fingers are drawing lewd patterns. But he doesn’t take it further. No matter how long you wait, the next step doesn’t come. Not even when you start to whimper. So, you decide you have no other option but to become even lower. 

“Oh, please… Jungkook…” You beg, all the while spreading your legs as much as you can. 

“Holy fuck!... You want me to touch you? Want me to touch your filthy cunt?” Jungkook squeezes you in his hold, finally starting to lose it. 

“Yes, p-pl-please, yes. Touch me.”

“Touch you where?”

“M-my… fuck.. Jungkook please…” You trail off, burning with shame. How degrading it is to say that. You feel like words are turning into dust in your mouth. Jungkook, though, isn't letting you off the hook that easily. 

“Touch you where you filthy whore?” He barks, practically crushing you into his body. You inhale a sharp breath in a fruitless attempt to find the courage. Despite everything, despite the shame, you want him to touch you. 

“M-my c-cunt…” You manage to push the bitter words out of your mouth, pleasing Jungkook immensely that he doesn’t even waste a second. His hands go inside your cozy shorts within a beat of a heart. He cups your pussy without further ado. Then his middle finger is sliding along your slit, poking at your entrance and gathering up the wetness. It all happens so fast. The next thing you know is he’s relentlessly rubbing your clit. Occasionally shifts between slightly pressing at your hole. His hard cock still scouring against your ass. And you’re dangerously nearing that peak. Every flick against your clit makes your head spin. 

Only if Jungkook allows it, though. He doesn’t. Each time you start to tense he slows down. Changes his rhythm. Then stops altogether, just to start the same thing all over again. Gets you literally drooling. Leaving only him and pleasure in your mind. Nothing else. Absolutely nothing that you don’t even realize when you start to cry for his cock. 

“Please, please, please…”

“God damn it, pretty.. You need my cock?”

“Yes, yes, yes… Want you… please…”

“But I thought you didn’t want me to even touch you?”

“Bu-but I wa-want you to… n-now.”

Another laugh. “Do you even know how miserable you sound?” Jungkook pinches your clit, making your thighs shake. “But it’s okay baby, you’re being such a good girl for me. Maybe, you deserve my cock.” He rasps in your ear. You almost fall into a false allusion that he’s finally going to give it to you when he pushes the next words out. “But I’m sure, you said you hate me. You said you never will be mine. You fucking flinched away when I was just trying to touch your hand. Now you want my cock?” Flickering of his finger over your clit comes to an abrupt stop. Before you can even comprehend it, he pulls his hand out of your pants. “I don’t think you truly want it.”

It’s ridiculous the way you panicked. Undignified, how you grab his hand, not letting him take it away. 

“No, no, please, no, Jungkook. I want you.. I promise.. I really need you.” Mortifying, when you open your mouth. 

“You need me? Yeah?” Jungkook leans into you again, closing the short distance he created. Mumbles in your ear. “Then prove it, princess. Beg!” 

This time it doesn’t take much more persuading or convincing for you to actually do it. Words start to flow out of your mouth like a broken damn. Even out of your control. Yet, no matter how much you plead and beg, all he gives you is more teasing. His hand back inside your pants and melting your brain and soaking your thighs. And just as he edges you for what must be the hundredth time you snap, falling into the lowest you can go. 

“Oh, god pl-please.. Something… Gi-give me something Kook. At least the tip. I need just so-something…” 

And with that you break Jungkook as well. 

“Holy fuck! You little slut!” He curses aloud. But he finally relents. You don’t even get to comprehend what’s happening before he is yanking your pants down and doing the same to his as well. All you can do is inhale a shaky breath before you feel the tip of his hardened cock at your sloppy entrance. 

Finally! Fucking finally!

You almost sigh in relief when he pushes inside you. Slowly. Agonizingly so. An inch by pleasurable inch he stretches your entrance. You moan lowly at the pleasure, waiting for him to keep going and bury himself deep inside you. Only for that to never come. He stops yet again. You turn your head around, catching his face properly for the first time this night. And the sight that treats you is nothing less than you expected. 

Divine. 

Godly. 

Sin. 

His entire face is flushed and eyes all pupils. Brows pulled together and eyes closed shut. Bottom lip trapped between his teeth. 

He is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Jeon Jungkook is impractical. Unreal. Maybe he is an illusion. Just as the thought crosses your head he opens his eyes, catching your gaze. And you clench around his tip tightly, completely unconsciously, eliciting a beautiful moan from his throat. He rewards you with a shallow thrust. Then another. Just with only his tip inside you and driving you crazy. You question him with your confused expression. Luckily for you he reads it. 

“Why baby? You asked just for the tip… I’m only giving you what you asked for.” He smirks through his haze. 

A whimper of frustration tangles in your throat. Yet you clench around him even harder. Every demeaning word from him is fueling your fire. That’s exactly what makes you clutch onto his hand tightly before pushing back on his half sheathed cock inside you. Changing the fact from half sheathed to fully sheathed. He slides inside you swiftly. Just one push and he’s safely buried inside you, knocking the wind out of your lungs. 

You both stilled, reveling in the feeling. Just for a moment, however. Next moment, Jungkook is gripping your face, roughly, fingers digging into your cheeks painfully. He turns your face around and leans forward until the tips of your noses touch. 

“You need to learn how to listen and be fucking patient, baby. You don’t want to be a good girl? You want to act like a needy slut? Can’t wait to get this pussy ruined?” He presses a barely there, feathery kiss to your lips. Stark contrasts the way he’s touching you and his filthy words. “Okay then, I’ll give that to you. I’ll fuck you until you beg me to stop.” He drawls. That’s the only warning you get before he drags his hips back and rams into you, making you scream his name. He does it again, again, and again. Lets your face go so he can hold your leg up. And as if you’ve not humiliated and embarrassed yourself enough, all it takes is just a few hard thrusts for your prolonged orgasm to crash over you. 

“God, fuck yes, sult! Ah fuck, squeeze my cock…” Jungkook hides his face in your neck, inhaling your scent , getting drunk on you. “Fuck, pretty you feel even better than I imagined.” Growls as his hips keep thrusting forward without a mercy. Not even slowing down to let you catch your lost breath. “You have—” He gasps in between his harsh thrusts. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to have you, pretty…” His teeth sink into the sensitive skin of your neck, arousing you more and more. “I dreamt of this fucking day… you have no fucking idea how much this means to me…” He drags his hand across your body, from your breasts to your stomach. “God damn it, princess…. You know what? I need more… c’mon, on your back—” He withdraws from you fast, making you flinch at the sensitivity. “And I need you naked.” 

He doesn’t give you much time to comply with his commands. As soon as he pulls his cock out, he’s pushing you into your back. Even before you can register the movement your remaining clothes are practically ripped away from your body, his clothes following closely.

See now, Jungkook has ridden you into your lowest level already. Has made you say things you wouldn't have said in any other occasions. Had made you beg and plead. But now, as you are laid beneath him, looking at him with your glossy eyes, squirming and impatient, legs already spread without anybody forcing you to do so, it feels worse. It’s one thing if he’s forcing this on you. Leaving you without any options. But to be the one who’s asking for it. 

It makes your stomach churn. But the case is, even that doesn’t stop you from humping the air waiting for him to get back inside you. 

What’s wrong with you!

It’s all Jungkook’s fault. 

You hate him. You hate everything about him. You swear you do. Still, you exhale softly as your hands move across his chiseled abs and chest the moment he gets rid of his t-shirt. Still, you curl your hands around his neck and press your lips to his, turning it into a messy kiss of tongue and saliva without an ounce of hesitance. Still, you keep him as close to you as possible when he pushes inside you again with a powerful, breathtaking thrust. Still, you beg him for more when he starts picking up his pace again. 

“H-harder please…”

“More Jungkook…”

“Please don’t stop… keep going…” 

You keep screaming. 

“I won’t baby. I’ll not fucking stop. Take this cock, yeah? Like that… yes… fuck!” 

He keeps promising. 

And he keeps his promise. He doesn’t stop. He fucks orgrasm out of orgasm from you. 

He makes love to you while hovering over your shaking figure, kissing and biting your lips, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear. 

He fucks you while holding your writsts above your head and scattering purple marks across your chest and neck. 

He worships you by kissing every inch of skin he can reach. 

So does he pound you with your legs pushed over his shoulders. 

You have no idea how much time has passed or how many times you actually came. Only thing you’re aware of is the pleasure and Jungkook as now he’s slams into you from behind. Your head pressed into the pillow. He’s clutching both of your hands behind you, taking extra leverage. And all you can do is drool all over you and bite onto the soft pillow. You’re getting tired now. But despite all that, you want Jungkook to cum as well. 

That shouldn’t be your concern at all. At least you can turn this whole thing about you. You are receiving pleasure. You are using him. Not the other way around. That’s not what’s happening, however. You’re battling your sensitivity, and exhaustion because you want him to cum. Judging by the way his thrusts are turning sloppy and his ragged breaths you know that’s about to happen. Even the thought is making your tummy clench. Despite how wearried out you are, you feel like about to reach another orgasm, just at the thought. 

Then just as the thought passes, Jungkook’s voice breaks your stupor. 

“Gonna cum, pretty. Gonna cum inside you, yeah? Fucking make you mine…”

You think you just die at the spot. It’s not possible to feel more aroused. But you do. Even a cry leaves your parched throat. 

“Please… yes…” You try in vain to turn your head and look at his divine face but he steals your moment when his hand leaves yours just to grab your hair. You let out a surprised squeal when you’re being yanked back. Your back collides with his chest. His hand immediately snakes around your throat. Squeezes. Not enough to hurt you but enough to cut your air flow.

“You want that, pretty? Want me to cum inside you?” Jungkook growls, his thrusts turning sloppy and sloppier. 

You nod, feeling your head getting dizzy. It’s his hold on your neck that's keeping you upright. Your legs are buckling under your weight. 

“Say it aloud, princess. Say you want me to cum inside you. Fucking beg for my cum.” Jungkook presses his fingers around your throat a little more, like an unspoken threat. 

“P-please c-cum inside me… Pl-please…”

“Again.”

“Oh god, please… pl-please… fill me up, Jungkook. W-ant your cum. I need your cum…” You choke out, struggling to breathe. 

“Again, whore. Beg like you really want it. That’s notー” A powerful, harsh thrust. And his grip tightens a little more. “Enough.”

“Please… Jungkook… Want to be so full of your cum. I- Iー” Fortunately for you, those next words do the trick. Just as the words leave your mouth Jungkook stills, his cock twitching inside you. You feel the warmth engulf your insides. Thick ropes of cum painting your walls and putting you into a delirious state. His grip on your throat loosens. 

You stay that way, pressed into each other for another long second before Jungkook lowers both of you into the mattress. A deep sigh of satisfaction which lets out by you mixes into the heavy breathing of Jungkook. 

You feel light. As if you’ve put all your weight down. You feel like there’s nothing wrong in your life. Even the pain has dissipated somewhere. And you close your eyes into a pure bliss of silence. No pressure, no pain, no problem there to bother you anymore. 

……………………………

You can’t believe you did that!

You scrub your chest hard. 

How could you? 

You scrub your stomach even harder.

How did you do that?

You feel sick. Nauseous. 

It was with an unpleasantly twisting stomach that you ran into the bathroom a few minutes ago. Just after you woke up, next to Jungkook- the very same man who dragged you across hell. Then to make matters worse, you were tangled up with himー comfortably. 

Comfortably!

And naked!

You sprang out of bed, even not caring for the fact that you might wake Jungkook up. Nor did you wait to see if that was the case. You’ve wanted to throw up. You’ve felt like that but no matter how long you’ve waited kneeling in front of the toilet, nothing came out. So, you’ve opted for a shower. Which is what you’re doing now. 

Tears uncontrollably flooding through your eyes. Muffled sobs escaping past your lips. Steaming hot water cascading across your body. 

You have no idea how long it’s been since you entered the shower box. Maybe it’s just a few minutes or maybe it’s been hours. And you’ve been scrubbing your body like crazy ever sinceー to no avail. It doesn’t matter how hard and long you rub your skin, you feel like it’s not going away. The imprints of his calloused hands. Imprints of his soft lips and the coldness of that damn lip ring. The wetness of his hot tongue and the tingle of his breath. Then the fullness you’ve felt when he was inside you. 

You feel like he's still inside you. You can still feel the harsh thrusts. Can feel his skin slapping against yours. 

How did you let yourself do that? 

Now, you can’t get rid of him. 

You put extra pressure on your skin, scrubbing even harder. You lather on more and more shower gel, then go back to scrub. At this rate, you might end up actually hurting yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You need him gone. 

You bring your hand down between your thighs, starting to scrub your inner thighs. This is the part you’ve paid the most attention to. You woke up with his cum dried on your thighs. Another, louder sob erupts as you try to get rid of the unseen evidence of the previous night. You wish you could wash your memory and soul as well. Wipe off everything. You want the previous night to be一

The sound of the bathroom door banging against the wall makes you jump on your spot. Yet you don’t get to let out much of a reaction before Jungkook barges inside the shower box. He wastes no time as he roughly snatches the scrubbing towel you’ve been using to scrub your body. You flinch and stumble a step back as Jungkook throws the towel away, blindly. 

“Fucking stop that!” He yells as he closes the distance between you, forcing you to take a few more shaky yet hurried steps back and cover your head with both your hands. You don’t even care for the fact that you’re stark naked. In all your time with him, you’ve never heard him raise his voice like this. “Fucking stop you little…” This time he grits through his clenched teeth. You cower behind your hands even more, which Jungkook finds to be more irritating. He yanks your hands away. Holds them apart and gives you a rough shake. “Don’t be a fucking bitch, (___).” He pulls you forward. 

All you manage is a tremble and a whimper. 

You’ve seen Jungkook mad. Or not. You’ve thought you’ve seen him mad. Him going berserk over the phone was nothing similar to this. Him raising his voice across a phone was nothing like seeing his face right now. He looks like a beast, almost inhuman. All of his beautiful features masked with pure fury. Eyes wild and bloodshot, jaw slack. A vein throbs at his temple. 

Jungkook looks crazy. 

Jungkook looks capable of murdering. 

Jungkook, the man who treated you oh so softly despite being a monster, looks like he’s about to snap you in half. 

“You said you wanted it” He shakes you again, this time even harder, pulling out more and more whimpers and cries. You find yourself even incapable of replying to him. Your heart pounding in your throat. Your vision dims.

Maybe this is how you’ll die. He’ll strangle you to the death. 

“You asked me to touch you, (___).” Jungkook’s voice lowered an octave this time. “You asked me to fuck you. You said you wanted it. D-don’t一” His voice cracks a bit and you think a flash of hurt breaks the fury in his eyes. And something inside you turns. Blinding fear subsides a little. He heaves a heavy sigh before speaking again. “Don’t act like I forced that on you.” He chokes out. The feeling inside you intensifies. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. Your head throbs with the rhythm. You gather courage to peer into his eyes. That beast is there but you see the pain. “Don’t be aー” He starts again. 

You don’t know what’s gotten into you. Maybe it’s fear. You wanted to distract him. Partially. You absolutely do not wish to die here. But then there was a guilt. Regret. A hurt that stirs your insides. Whatever the reason could be, you surprise yourself when you lunge forward, silencing Jungkook’s words when you press your lips to him. Initially, it’s just a press of the lips where you both do nothing, but then he pushes you back at the same time he starts kissing you desperately, madly, furiously. You return it to the best. 

Your back hits the cold wall behind you. Jungkook kisses you with the same fervor for a few more intense minutes before he pulls away. That’s only when you realize that the shower is still running. That Jungkook is half naked as well and is only wearing his boxers. That he’s getting drenched.

You peer at his face for a moment. The way the fury is still there but now laced with lust. You watch the way the droplets slid over his face. Over his chiseled cheekbones. Over his pink lips and the damn lip ring. A shudder ripple through you before you capture his bottom lip between your teeth, bite gently, soon falling into another kiss. Jungkook moans in appreciation. His hands leave yours so he can skim across your curves instead. Your back, waist, ass, stops under your thighs. Then in one swift moment he picks you up from the floor. You wrap your legs around his waist on instincts. 

Jungkook is the one who pulls away again. This time he does it with a harsh bite on your lower lip. Harsh enough that you mewl in pain before he sucks on the spot and soothes the sting. He lets your lip go before resting his forehead against you. Panting. 

“You wanted to get rid of me?” He questions, with that dangerous tilt in his voice, sharing one breath with you. You don’t answer him. Just try to fill your lungs with enough oxygen. “You wanted to escape me?” He repeats to which he doesn’t get an answer again. He presses another kiss to your lips, then drags those kisses toward your jaw. From there to your neck. Biting and sucking gently. Adding more marks into your already bruised skin. Mumbles his next words into your throat. “Guess what baby? You’ll never escape me.” With that he raises his face back to peer into your eyes. “I’ll fucking taint your memmories with me,” he growls. “I’ll fucking live inside your head, I’ll fucking burn myself into you. You. Are. Never. Going to escape me.” 

You tremble once again. Partially from a fire inside your stomach but partially from an unexplainable fear. Jungkook holds you with one arm for a bit as he shuffles with his boxers, pushing them down. Even the prospect makes your breath hitch and pussy clench. He holds you in his hold securely. “You are mine, baby.” He plunges inside you, ripping out a cry from you at the unexpectedness of his movements. Luckily you are already wet enough that he slides in easily. He stops once he’s buried to the hilt inside you. “You’ll be mine.” Gives you an experimental thrust. Your head falls back, hitting the tile and you clench around him violently. “And don’t try to deny that because trust me, princess, I’m gonna make you mine one way or another. I’ll rip your heart out of you and keep it inside a box if that’s what it takes. Soー” A harsh thrust interrupts his threat. “It’s time you should accept that you’re meant to be mine, pretty.” He picks up his speed and starts pounding into you. Calling you his over and over again. 

“Mine. Mine. Mine…”

………………………..

Jungkook never wanted to do something that you wouldn’t like. Never wanted to scare you. Even if he had, unintentionally, a few times. But the thing is, you’re not entirely blameless. You are a little stubborn witch in disguise. A brat. How hard it has been for him to keep you at bay. 

Jungkook found himself questioning often, why you were so reluctant to accept him. Be his. Understand that you two were always meant to be together. That you’ve always been tied to him with a red string. But then he believed you would come to accept that one day. He knew you would actually return his feelings. Give him what he’s been craving so badly for years. 

Years!

It has taken more time than he had expected, however. From the day he got a hold of you again through his meticulous plan to the day he finally brought you into this place that  was supposed to be your safe haven. It has taken longer to make you see things even if it’s not fully yet. 

But god, the trouble he had to go through!

First, it was making sure you wouldn’t do something that’s stupid and hurt yourself. Then there was the problem of controlling himself. It was as if holding his breath forever. You were a walking, talking ball of temptation. Jungkook had the hardest time having you around, in your cute shorts and comfy t-shirts which he picked out for you. You were the most adorable yet the hottest thing he’s ever seen. He’s been watching you from afar for so long. Can anyone blame him for nearly losing it when he finally had you in a close proximity. Close enough he could touch you, hold you, and hear you. 

The temptation was like a demon on his shoulder. He found himself in moments where he was a hair’s breadth away from kissing you until you were breathless. Bending you over and fucking the senses into you. But, thanks to all the high spirits above, he managed to control the urges. Because, in the end, Jungkook never wanted to do something that you didn’t want him to. 

Not because it was hard. It was easy in fact. But Jungkook always wanted you to want him. You never wanted him. Not back in your college years. Not even when you were chatting with him. True, you texted him every and each day but you truly didn’t know who he was now, did you? 

Then, suddenly all of his hard work paid off that way. 

Suddenly, you were seeking him. You were asking for him. You were willingly being with him. 

Just like now. 

It’s been a few days since your first night. Since Jungkook finally bent your stubborn will enough to see him. See his love. Yet still, Jungkook can’t help but gasp quietly in surprise when you straddle his lap, emerging out of nowhere. He can’t help but feel like pinching him to make sure he isn’t dreaming. 

You get comfortable in his lap. He is sitting on his gaming chair, not particularly playing games but he’s stressing over this one client. Some people are just morons who can’t understand simple things. Jungkook had leaked a very important piece of information to the public on this said client's request. It was the deal they made and the fucker should not be contacting Jungkook again. But here he is, asking for another deal. This time to revise what he already did. See now, Jungkook might be very good at his job. Sneaking into any database and leaking anything for the right amount of money. The thing is, however, he isn’t God and therefore the power of undoing something isn’t on his hand. Life, unfortunately, has no control plus z. His idiot of a client isn’t understanding that. 

And Jungkook was at the verge of finding the man and choking him to death himself when you appeared, now hiding your face in his neck. You plant a soft kiss on his neck making him shudder. A moan almost slips past his lips. He aligns his neck to give you more access. You haven’t said much since you straddled his lap, your legs placed either side of him. You pick up on his cue and strat peppering soft kisses over and over. Jungkook unconsciously wraps an arm around your body. 

“What are you doing, baby?” He questions as you move toward his throat. 

“You seemed tense.” You answer him, softly. 

Fuck! 

Jungkook finds this to be a huge victory. Despite all the time he had you lying beneath him and moaning his name, you mostly didn’t talk with him. And to think you care about him.

Did he die?

Is this heaven?

“Yeah? And you want to help me.” He starts rubbing your back soothingly. You nod into his throat. “Fuck!” Jungkook curses at the sensation of your lips on him and your admission. “God, pretty, you gonna kill me,” he gives a gentle smack on your perfect ass, marveling at the way you whimper in return. “What do you want to do, baby? How are you gonna help me?” 

You pull away from worshipping his neck at his words, facing him and peering at his eyes with your glinting eyes. A little bit hooded and glossy. You exhale a shaky breath. “I wanna- I- uh- can I suck you off, please?” Whisper oh so softly that Jungkook almost doesn’t hear you. He does somehow and the way his heart flutters must be risky to his health. Maybe he’s about to have a heart attack. 

He never wants anything more. This. You are on his hold and begging to please him. Jungkook has finally won. The flutter in his heart soon travels south creating a stir in his lower stomach and groin. He was becoming hard slowly since the moment you sat on his lap but now at your words, he goes rock hard in a blink. 

“Fuck! God, yes… You don’t have to ask, pretty. You get whatever you want.” He kisses your lips softly. “You want to suck daddy’s cock?” Asks against your mouth, making you tremble. You nod hurriedly. If he’s to push his hand inside your pants, he knows he’d find you already dripping wet. See, it is fate. You’re even this compatible in bed. He knows which button to play to get you high without any drugs. And you know which strings to pull to get him drunk without alcohol. “Go on then, on your knees, princess.” He commands, flipping that switch inside his brain to become the man you want him to be. You instantly start to shuffle down when he stops you once again. “Get rid of the clothes first, want you naked, kneeling in front of me and choking on my cock.”

You comply with him without a second request. Don’t even wait until Jungkook pushes down his sweats completely before you hungrily wrap your hand around his shaft and lips around his tip, pushing him into a blissful haze. From there it’s just a mess of drool, tears, and the sound of gagging. You don’t disappoint him the slightest. You prove him right again and again. With your tongue swirling around his tip. With him hitting the back of your throat. You prove that you’re just where you should be. And Jungkook’s head is spinning. He’s sure that he’s going to explode. Yet within few minutes of fucking your throat, he had to drag you into his lap again. 

This time, however, your back facing him, your legs spread widely, and his cock buried inside you. Jungkook would’ve been more than happy to make you swallow his cum but he couldn't help but being a bit greedy and wanting the warm confines of your pussy. You clench around him every time his middle finger garzes over your clit and like clockwork, Jungkook feels his cock twitching. 

“You feel so good, slut. So fucking good… You love daddy’s cock?” He asks in your ear. You moan out an inaudible ‘yes’. Jungkook rewards you with a slow thrust. You look so blissful. So lost in him. So fucked up. Makes him want to see and try how much he can push you. How farther you’ll bend for him. “You look pretty, baby, so beautiful,” He kisses your shoulder. “Would you like to see how beautiful you are?” He asks to which he doesn’t get an answer in return. He doesn’t mind that, simply knows you’re so far gone to be able to perform coherent thoughts let alone words. “Would you like to record this baby? So, we can watch it again, andー” Rest of his words die on his tongue when you squeeze his length so hard. “Holy fuck! You like that? You want that?” You answer him with another nod but this time he wants your words. “Words baby…”

“Yes. Yes Jungkook… I…” 

That’s enough for him. He drags the chair forward keeping you on him safely, fumbling with his phone with one hand. He places it on the desk, propped against his monitor, front cam opened, and facing you both. Capturing a beautiful view of you filled with him.  And he hits the record button. Pulls the chair back to adjust into the best position. 

“There you go, slut. C’mon now, ride me!”

…………………………….

You are lying on your side, curled up on the couch and back pressed against Jungkook. His arms are wrapped around you protectively. Titanic is playing on the TV and you’re doing your best to pay attention with Jungkook’s mindless nibbling on your ear. 

Lately, you’ve grown accustomed to being close and intimate with him even when sex isn’t on the table. You’ve learnt to accept all the pampering, cuddles, and innocent kisses. You’re not sure when exactly that happened.

First, it was all about sex. After the time he fucked you in the shower and swore that you’ll never escape him, you promised yourself that you’ll never allow him another chance to even  lay a finger on you. That was going well until he sneaked into the bed that night. Each and every time you swore that it was going to be the last just to fail miserably. You couldn’t bring yourself to say no, every time his lips pressed against yours, his hands roamed across your body, his breathy voice whispered against your ears. Jungkook had it all easy and one day you’ve decided to let it happen without any resistance from your mind. Because, in the end, your body was going to betray you anyway. 

Ever since, your life has been one haze of pleasure. There was no space for pain. Even the memories of your life before thisーthe life full of misery and bitchy people has faded into the past. Jungkook has been keeping you busy all the time. Busy enough that nothing could disturb your blissful peace.

Through endless sex and mind shattering orgasms, time has slipped through your fingers like a passing breeze. You think there is no space in this entire apartment where Jungkook hasn’t had you in. Kitchen. Couch. Balcony. Pressed against a window. Even on top of the washer. And every way he can. Tied up to his bed post. Blindfolded. Even had made you ride his shoe. Had made you masturbate while he watched and recorded. Had you plugged in with his cum inside. Every kind of kink he can think of. 

You have started to lose sense of the time. Every day feels the same. You’ve fallen into the same routine. And despite all the pleasure, you’re growing tired of it. Maybe you need something new to focus on. 

“Jungkook?” You call out softly. He stops nibbling on your ear immediately and pays attention to you. 

“Yes, pretty?”

“Can you- uh- buy me a book maybe…  please,  I’m getting  kinda bored…”

A soft gasp treats you, forcing you to turn around and look at him in confusion. He’s regarding you with a wide grin. You raise a brow in question. 

“Of course, I can, baby. I can buy you anything you want. You don’t have to ask like that. Tell me what you want, and I’ll get it for you right away.” A gentle kiss to your cheek. “So, a book, huh? You’re not a reader?” He teases. 

You almost open your mouth to question how he would know before it hits you. He knows. He knows every damn thing. What’s your favorite food to, now your favorite position. Then there is you, knowing nothing except his name. You turn around completely, facing him properly.

“I am not but I can start reading.” You tilt your head up to peer at his eyes. He opens his mouth to reply but you beat him into it. “How come you have so much money?” You question without letting yourself weigh the consequences of questioning. Jungkook’s face falls. 

“I don’t have a lot of money.” He answers gently. 

“You do,” you gesture around the lavish apartment. “This apartment is the most luxurious place I’ve ever been to. And,” you clutch his shirt. “It’s like you’re never stepping outside this house. You’re earning all this money by working from home? What kind of job pays so much?”

Jungkook sighs. “I’m good at developing. Apps and stuff,” He looks carefully at you, as though he’s expecting a harsh reaction from you. You almost do before you catch yourself in time. It’s all past anyway. “I-uh- let’s say I work in I.T, yeah?” That’s the clue for you to let the topic go. 

“Where’s your family?” So you change it. 

“I don’t have one.” He answers that more easily than the previous one. 

“Oh! You’re orphー”

“They’re both alive but I refuse to have any contact with them. They’ve made my life a living hell.”

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You apologize quickly. A heaviness engulfing your chest at his words. Jungkook chuckles and brushes stray hair away from your face. 

“It’s fine, pretty. Why all the questions, though?” 

“Just because. I just realized I don’t know much about you.”

“Yeah? Why do you want to know about me?”

“I- I don’t know. I just want to know.” You shrug nonchalantly. Yet as you watch, Jungkook’s face lights up. Eyes glinting and lips spreading into a wide grin. Wide enough that he has to bite down on his lip to contain it. In a matter of seconds, he turns into a boy who's ten years younger than him. And you think you see a faint redness in his cheeks as well. 

…………………………..

Jungkook knows that you have no idea how much it means to him to know you’re getting closer and closer every day. First sex, then all the shared casual moments, and you were interested in knowing him. And then you asked him for something? 

Isn’t that what lovers do?

Aren’t you acting like a cute girlfriend?

Oh, the fluttering of his heart and stomach you’re causing. Jungkook doesn't think he’s been happier than this in his entire life. He’s riding a high just by watching how shocked and excited you are kneeling in front of the books he brought for you. 

“What the hell, Jungkook?” You look up at him, mouth hanging open and eyes wide. 

“You asked for books.” He gestures at the box before you. 

“No…” you groan. “I asked for a book. Not for a whole damn library?” Start to rummage through the box, pulling out a book. “What am I gonna do with so many books, Jungkook?”

“Read them.” Jungkook kneels beside you, stealing a kiss into your hair while he does.

“I’m a slow reader, I’ll fucking die before I ever finish reading these.” You sigh exasperatedly, being a little dramatic. To be honest, it’s not even that many. 

“Hey, it’s okay, pretty. I told you I’m gonna buy you anything. It’s fine if you can’t read them all or you start to get bored at it. Find a new hobby and tell me what you want.” He takes your hand in his. Kisses your soft hands delicately. You look at him with sparkling eyes. 

Fuck!

You’re turning to your normal self slowly. You’re getting your color back. Putting on weight. You smile more and talk to him more. Few more days and you’ll be the happiest you’ve ever been. 

See, Jungkook knew exactly what you needed. He was right all along. 

Just a few more days and he’ll be able to let his guard down. Stop watching your every move like a hawk. Rescheduling and canceling his plans because he can’t leave you alone in here. He managed a good enough security system including cameras but he’ll never know. He had to keep a close eye—for now.  But soon you’ll never think about leaving him. 

Because he can see the way you slowly understand that you belong to him. 

“You’re crazy.” You grumble as you get to your feet. Jungkook follows your actions. You take a step toward him, and bide your time for a minute before standing on your tiptoes and kiss him. Hard and deep. 

“Whoa is that a thank you?” He pants once you pull away. 

You nod. “There’s more.” Say as you throw your arms around his neck and jump. He catches you up by your thighs with the practice ease. 

“Yeah? Another video?”

“Yes, please…”

………………………….

You stay still, unsure of what to do as Jungkook gently cups your face in his hands. 

“Are you sure you're going to be okay?” He asks for what must be the millionth time. You nod again, trying to appear confident and nonchalant. But the thing is, you’re nervous. Every nerve ending in your body is ablaze. 

Jeon Jungkook is about to leave you alone in this house for the first time. Something about an unavoidable meeting with a client. 

You don’t know if  he’s ever done it without your knowledge before. Maybe he had. But at this moment, he’s doing it with your full acknowledgement. He’s stopped locking you in that damn room every time. Mainly because you’ve been attached to him by the hip lately. You’ve started sharing a bed and a shower. He had no reason to be worried about you trying anything funny, anymore. This, however, is his first time giving you this kind of freedom. And you’re unsure what to do with it. 

“Pretty?” Jungkook furrows his eyebrows in concern. 

You clear your throat quickly. “I can Jungkook, I’m a grown woman.” State as you free your face from his hold. You both know that he isn’t referring to your capabilities of staying home alone. You both know he’s asking if you’d not betray his trust. That you’ll not try something that would make both of you regret. 

He smiles softly at your admission. “Well then, I won’t be more than an hour.” He finally takes a step away. You return his smile, staying rooted in your place. He takes another and another, walking backward. Just as he’s about to turn around, you snap out of your stupor. You rush forward, five quick steps, and press a kiss to his lips.

Creases between Jungkook’s brows finally ease up as you pull away. 

“Be quick.” You mumble, turning him around and you give him a gentle push forward. This time he doesn’t stop you. You walk with him to the front door, wait till he walks out and disappears before releasing a shaky breath.

For the first time, you’re completely alone here. 

………………………..

You don’t know what you should do.

All these times, you’ve never even thought about an escape. Jungkook has kept you busy. Busy enough that you’ve forgotten you’re a prisoner here. That he’s your captor. Not someone who you can trust or your lover. But the thing is, you don’t know what to do? 

Do you try to run away? To where? To your old house? To the police station? 

Then what? Do you still want to confront Hoseok? Do you still want to meet your best friend? Yes, probably. Maybe…

But, do you have the courage to escape? 

You don’t even know what kind of security he has. In your first few days you were  so keen to know every minuscule detail about this place, planning your grand escape. Now you know nothing. 

You stand up from the couch after staring into the empty black screen of the TV for the past twenty minutes. Nothing is going to happen by wasting your time. You make your way slowly to Jungkook’s guest room where he has kept his computer, without any purpose. You don’t know what you’re doing. 

It’s just that you’re too restless to stay put. There’s a clock ticking and if you want to do something, you need to be fast about it. No, there’s no ifs, you should do something. This is your chance.  

But the problem is that you don’t really feel like doing anything. 

An inaudible groan of frustration leaves your throat. This can’t be happening? You can’t be serious. After everything, after the hell he put you through, you can’t simply want to stay with him. 

Sex was good, sure. He was treating you well, sure. Still, he’s the same person who guided you into a trap. You’ve been stuck in that trap for a while now. 

Yet even the thought of escaping. Running away from Jungkook gives you another level of fear. As if the safe bubble you’ve been living in is about to burst. It’s scary. To think that you’ll be back in the world, wandering around. Facing Daebi and Hoseok who have a fair share in your misfortune. Maybe others do too. Maybe they don’t want you back in their life at all. Jungkook does, though. Your parents must’ve accepted that you were long gone and moved on. There is no one out there who is waiting for you. Jungkook is here for you. 

But is this the life you want? 

What about walking among people on busy nights? You didn’t love your job but you loved earning your own money. What about living your life of your own accord and not having to rely on someone else? What about travelling the world? What about late night clubbing? Meeting new people? Worrying about buying new expensive clothes? What about life? 

You can’t live your whole life this way. Stuck in an apartment while your entire world revolves around one man. You don’t want it to be like that. It’s not like you’ve fallen in love with him anyway. Right? Of course, not. You’re not a victim of Stockholm syndrome. 

No. No. No… 

You have to do something!

You take a few rushed steps toward Jungkook’s working table, without knowing what you’re actually doing. Maybe you should just risk it and try to open the front door. Or maybe you can turn on his computer and send a message- not to Daebi or any of your friends- but maybe to someone else. Police. Or anyone you could reach. You can check the drawers for a second phone. You couldー

“Fuck!” A loud curse leaves your mouth as an unexpected pain erupts from your left foot. You’ve hit it on the leg of the table. You come to an abrupt halt, mewling in pain, and bend down to rub your foot and ease the pain. You stay in that position and rub your poor toes for another long second before finally straightening up, ready to continue your aimless mission. Only to mewl again when the top of your head hits something. Luckily for you, it was just a pile of books that dropped down to the floor at the impact, with a loud thud. 

“For fucks sake!” Irritation bubbles inside you. You bring your hand up to rub your head this time, eyeing the fallen pile of books. You’ve no time to reorganize it. You already wasted enough time. That’s what you almost do. 

Almost, though. 

Just before you turn around again, your heart beating in your throat, you notice the photo on the floor. Probably was inside a book and slipped out when they dropped down. You would’ve ignored it if it wasn’t for the person in the photo. You can mistake anyone else for someone else. But yourself?

A sharp inhale fills your lungs to the brim before you let that breath out. 

It’s you who’s in the photo. Undoubtedly and unmistakably. So what? It’s not that much of a surprise to Jungkook to have a photo of you when you know he’s been stalking you. But what gets you frozen in mid motion is the fact that the you in the photo was from ages ago. 

College?  

You kneel before the scattered books and papers, feeling your legs buckle. Something uneasy gathers and swirls inside you, twisting your guts unpleasantly. You know this feeling well. You’ve been getting such kind of feelings all of your damned life and everytime you weren’t wrong to suspect something bad. Because every time you felt this way, something bad happened. 

You pick up the photo with trembling hands to take a closer look. You might be mistaken about the time frame. 

A young, carefree girl smiled back at you. You’re not mistaken. No. Definitely not. This photo was taken years ago. This photo was from another world. A world you’ve left behind and forgotten for the good. 

It’s from your college days!

You feel your head start to spin. Memories of blood plague your mind. Screams of agony echo inside your skull. Touch of warm hands tingles your skin. Wetness of a sweet pair of lips brushed across your lips. 

You close your eyes to shake away the unwanted memories. You can’t let this happen now. No. Yet all you can see is the blurred lights and silhouette of people. All you can smell is the cigarettes and alcohol. 

The cursed night!

This- Jungkook and his stupid app, and his kidnapping- wasn’t the first time you’ve been through hell. You’ve been through worse back then. But after so much effort- including countless therapy, changing universities, starting your degree all over, moving into a different city and years of pain and nightmares, you left that life behind. You were living a normal, good life until Hoseok broke up with you. 

Now, a single image is bringing all the buried memories up. The things you don’t want to remember. You swallow down a sob, forcing yourself to pull it together. 

It’s going to be fine…

You reopen your eyes and stare at the photo again. Fighting, battling. Trying hard not to break down on the spot. 

You can do this…

Just put the damn photo away and focus on your task… 

It’s past. It’s past. It’s past.

It was all over.

But how does Jungkook have it? 

You freeze again, brows furrowed in confusion. Did he stalk you so hard he found your old photos as well? Did he know about the past that you hate? Did he know about the pain you went through but still decided to traumatize you more? 

You clutch the photo even tighter. You’re fighting. There’s a war going inside your head. So many things happening at the same time. And you’re afraid you’re losing. 

Let the photo go…

You blankly stare at the photo for another second before, reluctantly dragging your gaze away, to the scattered books. That’s when you notice a second photo peeking out from one of the books. 

You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. 

Your hand works in autopilot mode when you grab the book and turn it over, dropping at least twenty photos inside it to your lap. You let the photo of you go as you start picking up one by one. Slowly first. Eyes carefully scanning over every single one of them.

You, with Daebi, at the university café.

You, with Hoseok, inside his car. 

You, with Jimin….

With Nina….

With some other people, you don’t recognize…

You. You. You.

At your classes.

At your apartment.

At your job.

Library.

You go through the photos as fast as the wind. Your speed builds up with every photo, until one makes you freeze.

It is not you. 

A person stands in front of a building you don’t recognize. He is wearing black, head to toe. Even his face is covered in a hoodie. The memories return. Blood. Screams. Light… and a guy. His hands wrapped around you, mumbling sweet nothing in your ear. His hands were covered in blood. His face was covered in a hoodie. 

Suddenly, you are sitting in the back of that business class. A meek, nerdy guy next to you. His face hidden, all you can see is a part of his cheek and set of pretty pink lips. Even with the time and all your efforts to drown those memories, you remember him like you’re staring at him. 

Lips. 

Pretty pink lips. 

You even remember the taste of those lips. The warmth of them.

Those lips should’ve faded into memory. The memories should be jumbled. You should only remember the faded bits. But strangely you don’t. Instead, you feel like you’ve seen the same lips yesterday. You feel like those lips were pressed against yours a moment ago. 

Pretty pink lips…

Out of nowhere Jungkook’s smile flashes across your mind. The way his lips stretch, making the lip ring glint. The way he bites onto his bottom lip to contain his goofy smile. That adorable, boyish smile. 

Haven’t you seen that smile before as well?

The guy who wore that hoodie, that guy who never told you his name, kept his face hidden from you, drugged you, almost killed a person in front of you. Hasn’t he smiled the same way? It was such a rare thing but you’ve seen him smile. And you’ve seen his lips. Is it possible to recognize someone with their lips? 

No…. That can’t be. No fucking way. 

You gasp for air even though there is nothing keeping you from inhaling. That familiar fear you’ve not experienced for a long time now, shoots across your body, wrapping around your bones, flesh, and skin. 

No….

Out of all the fucked up and twisted things in your life, this can’t be one. 

You hurriedly throw away the image and pick up the last one. And with that the last threads of hope you hold onto are shredded into million pieces. 

It’s an exact similar second image of the previous one. The same person is standing in the same posture in front of the same building. Yet the hood that covered his face had fallen back, revealing his face. 

The same face that had greeted you every morning for the past couple months. The face that you always found to be astonishingly handsome. The face that lured you into this trap through that AI app. 

It’s the same person. Just far, far younger. 

Jeon Jungkook!

Right then, you lose the battle. The sobs and cries you are trying so hard not to let out, escapes you as one loud gasp, followed by uncontrollable tears. Yet before that gasp can turn into loud sobs a familiar voice distracts you. 

“Pretty?”

You turn around faster than a bolt of lightning. Your eyes meet with Jungkook who stands in the doorway, scowling, confused. In another time you would’ve been scared for your life. So startled that you start to stutter. This moment, however, you don’t feel anything remotely close to fear. Instead, a rage builds up inside you. A rage that is born from a hurt. 

Ridiculous. Why would you be hurt? You should only be angry. 

“You motherfucker!” You rush into your feet. Storm toward Jungkook within a blink of an eye. “You fucking lied to me! It was you! It was you all along! You were the prick who ruined my life back then and now….” You screech through your lungs, tears mixing with your enraged words and making your voice crack. “And you lied to me! Every, fucking, person in my life…” You curl your fists into tiny balls, the photo still clutched between your fingers, as you hit Jungkook’s chest. “Everyone… lied to me…” You hit him over and over. Clenching your teeth and pouring all your anger as tears. “I trusted you… And you lied to me too… You fuckingー”

“Pretty, hey, hey…” Jungkook grabs your fists, preventing you from attacking him like a mad cat. You struggle against him the best you can but he holds you tight. “Het, pretty… fuck! Listen to me!”

“I fucking hate you Jeon Jungkook! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hateー” You scream. Jungkook muffles your screams by pulling you into his chest. “I hate you so much.” So, you mumble into his chest, giving up trying to free yourself from his hold. He’s too strong for you. 

You should be mad, but what you feel is hurt. 

Did you really trust your captor? 

“I didn’t lie to you… No, baby, I didn’t.” He mutters into your hair. You don’t give him a reply. Just break into his chest. “I was just a kid, I didn’t know what I was doing.” He continues. “I just wanted a chance to show you that I- I- uh- loved you,” His hold on you tightens. “I’ve always loved you. So damn much. But you were so gone about your pathetic ex, you didn’t even notice me. I had to do something.”

You don’t even know what he’s saying anymore. Your head is spinning and your ears are ringing. Yet at the back of your mind, the pieces finally fall into place. 

“I won’t accept the defeat this time…”

“You never saw how I always loved you…”

You never paid that much of an attention to those words. Now they make sense. 

“Y-you fucking- drugged me… y-you almost let someone toー” You stutter out weakly, only to get cut off. 

“I didn’t, did I? I’d never let anyone lay a fucking finger on you.”

You ignore what he’s saying. “Y-you let me wa-watch a-as you killed a person.”

“He didn’t die.”

As if that would change anything. 

“Oh god, why Jungkook? Why me? What did I ever do to you?”

“Don’t say that, pretty. Don’t fucking say that,” Jungkook hides his face in your hair. “You have no idea how much I love you… I was just trying. I was a kid,” his voice cracks painfully, and even without looking at him, you get the suspicion that he’s joined you with the crying. “I was trying to win you over and that was a mistake. I’m so sorry, princess, don’t say you hate me. C’mon I deserve a chance. I- I- was trying while your boyfriend was getting his cock sucked by your best friend.” 

Your sobs deepen. Jungkook presses kiss after kiss into your hair. 

“I’m so sorry baby, but give me a chance… You know I’ll never hurt you. Let me tell you the full story.”

You don’t want to listen to any story. No. You don’t want this pain. 

You pull away from his chest despite his reluctance. For a second you peer into his glossy eyes. Then in the next, you pull him into a hungry kiss. 

Fuck this!

Fuck your life!

Jungkook is fucking sick. But still, you know he’s painfully in love with you. 

If you can’t escape this hell, then you might get used to it.

………………………

At Hoseok’s place

“Are you guys fucking kidding me?” Jimin practically throws the tablet away. Luckily it doesn’t hit anything but just drops into the couch. 

“What do you want us to do, Jimin?” Deabi shouts across from the living room, hands dramatically thrown in the air. 

Hoseok watches wearily as his girlfriend and best friend fight over a matter that’s worth all the fighting. 

“Is that even a question, Daebi? That’s your fucking best friend. You give her up that easily?” Jimin says, with a rage Hoseok has only seen once — on that cursed night.

“I’m tired, for God’s sake! I’m tired and I can’t do this anymore.” Daebi slumps her shoulders. 

“You’re a fucking coward!” Jimin points a finger at her. Then turns his glare to Hoseok. “You too. You both are fucking cowards. First, you went behind her back and then when she needed you, you just give up?”

“We- we’re not—” Hoseok tries to argue when Jimin stops him. 

“Save the fucking excuses, man. I can’t believe you dragged us into this shit as well? I can’t believe you did that to her.” Jimin scoffs. “But guess what? I’m better than you. I’m not fucking giving up.”

“Then what the hell are you going to do?” Hoseok yells for the first time as well. This is ridiculous. He doesn’t want to give up. No. But things have turned to a point where there is no answer for anything. After exactly four months of continuous searching, and no clue, everyone has accepted that you are dead. The case isn’t officially closed yet but the fire it had caused has died down. 

One of their good friends who was actively working on the case has informed Hoseok that there might be no hope. And after a year, the case would be officially closing and the court would declare you dead, citing your mental instability. He had asked Hoseok to give up on hope. 

Apparently, Jimin isn’t ready to do so. Which is good. Hoseok would be happy to be a part of that. But the question remains. What are they going to do? An unwavering determination without a plan is stupid, which describes Jimin at this moment.

Hoseok knows where Jimin comes from. Jimin used to be a good friend of yours. He met you because of Hoseok and therefore you were always out of reach for him. But maybe if Hoseok never was a part of that equation Jimin should’ve taken your friendship into other levels. Yet life had different plans. And Jimin settled into being that good friend who would travel impossible distances to make sure his friends are okay. 

That’s exactly what Jimin is trying to do. You grew apart after your nasty breakup with Hoseok. Hoseok knows that. Mainly because Jimin is Hoseok’s friend and Jimin was ashamed to face you. Then before you could actually become friends again you’ve disappeared. 

Then there must be the guilt. Guilt of finally knowing Hoseok and Daebi’s story. They decided to come clean to at least Jimin and Nina after you disappeared. They wanted a way to ease their consciousness, even when they knew it wasn’t going to go well. Just as expected, Jimin was ready to murder them both. Disappointed. So was Nina. Jimin even stopped talking to Hoseok, until he sent the text on the group chat today. 

The very reason why Jimin barged in.

“I don’t know… maybe trying to convince your detective friend not to give up so easily. It’s just fucking four months.” Jimin grits. 

Technically, it’s turning five in a week. And Hoseok can’t do such a thing. He is friends with a detective who was happy to take over your case. Friends. That’s the word. He is not a boss. 

“Jimin-ah…” Hoseok sighs, not knowing exactly how to explain to his friend that this is out of his control. 

Jimin lets out a bitter chuckle. “What? You can’t? Of course, you can’t.” He takes a threatening step toward Hoseok. “Well, you know what Hoseok? It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you don’t. I fucking bet you two,” he gestures between Hoseok and Daebi. “Are actually fucking happy that she went missing.” Jimin spits out making Hoseok’s eyes widen. 

What now?

And making it worse Jimin adds more to his nonsense with a low voice. “Maybe, you’re the reason why she—”

Jimin doesn’t get to finish the sentence when Hoseok practically jumps at him, grabbing from his shirt with both hands. 

“What the fuck did you say?” Hoseok screeches. Jimin doesn’t even flinch at the sudden impact. 

“Oh god, will you guys stop… we’re friends.” Before Jimin can answer Hoseok, Daebi meddles, trying to part the two friends who are about to strangle each other. 

“Friends?” Jimin shakes Hoseok’s hands off him, scoffing. “I don’t see any friends here. In fact, I’m not your friend Daebi.” With that he throws a final glare at Hoseok. Turns around. “Enjoy. Get engaged. Hell, get married so we can throw a party.” Says before walking away and disappears through the front door. 

A heavy silence falls over. 

“I’m so disappointed in you guys.” After a minute, Nina, who’s been so quiet and pale, mumbles weakly. 

Then she too walks slowly over to the front door. 

……………………………………..

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Then he was scared to death the day they launched their first game. But when that phase was over Jimin had thought the scary part of his life was over as well. Only if life could be that fun, though. After many years, Jimin had felt so scared for the first time the day he had thought you had to go back. The day he finally caved into his burning desires. The day he begged you to stay. Even though he still doesn’t know the answer as to why, he endured a restless, torturous night. Yet that wasn’t a type of fear that would crawl under his skin and cling to his bones. He was scared, yes, but if you were not to return again, Jimin would’ve still lived. 

But the fear he has felt when you fell down into his arms. Limp. Like a rag doll. His name barely audible on your lips.That was a kind of fear that made him shiver. Feel trapped. He had felt the way his heart beat slowed down. Had felt how it became hard to breathe. He wasn’t just scared to death. He feared for life itself. Yours and his. Because, for a fractured moment, Jimin imagined the coming days and years without you in them. And somehow he knew that, he wouldn’t be able to just live. No. Things have changed somewhere along the line. From that first day you woke up next to him and to the day he watched you turn into the color of pale snow, Jimin has forgotten about a world where you wouldn’t exist. 

So, of course, he was scared. Scared in a way he couldn’t even describe. He was going mad. Especially, since he knew running into a hospital wouldn’t probably do any good. He knew what happened. That was the only reason for him to isolate you in a VIP backroom thanks to Yoona’s help. It has been hard. Countless lies and begging. But he succeeded. Just to see things worsen. He had only left you alone for  a minute. To grab a wet towel because you were burning up. When he returned, however, he went into an empty room. You were nowhere in his sight. Nowhere. Just disappeared into thin air. And Jimin had gone feral. Like a wild animal. Could’ve ruined everything in his mad state where he started to look for you everywhere. Knowing very well that you must’ve gone back. Fortunately, there was Jungkook, who had arrived there late and was scared as much as Jimin, if not more, but still managed to keep things under control.

They’ve blurted blatant lies after a lie. Jimin had to physically restrain Liya’s mother from entering the room, claiming that her daughter didn’t want to see anyone. And in the end, he and Jungkook had won. Everybody had to leave the sick- as some of them thought- Kim Liya on her boyfriend’s hand. And to others it was you- Li- who they left with Jungkook. It caused more than one confusion and Jimin has been facing them ever since. Not that he answered any questions anyone raised, though. He successfully managed to sidestep all of them. Liya’s family, at least, had calmed down after they met Liya. And to Jimin’s great relief Liya had helped him- which was surprising- with a simple lie of saying she was dehydrated. Everything was solved. 

Except it wasn’t. Not for Jimin. Because he was still petrified. Dying inside. That fear that engulfed him the moment you vanished never ceasing despite all the chaos that went through. He was scared about the next day. Or in fact he was scared of the days after that. The fear of not seeing you again was so powerful it had reduced him into a deranged state.  

Hence, the reason for his unannounced visit to Jungkook’s place this morning. The reason for Jimin to pace in front of Jungkook’s main door until Jungkook had to threaten him with broken bones if he hadn’t stopped it. The reason why he is feeling like crying from the sudden relief as he finally notices the figure emerges through the staircase. As if he’s seeing the sun after a night full of horror. A night he didn’t know would end. 

Jimin stops abruptly on his track. A heavy breath of relief escaping his lips as you stop in the landing. A moment passes. Moment of where you two just gape at each other. Your pretty eyes widen in surprise. Glinting. A small smile slowly stretching on your luscious lips. Breathtaking. It’s like Jimin is caught in a spell. Slightly painful. In a good way, though. The relief he’s feeling almost hurts him. 

You break that spell first. Just as a shiver runs through his body.

“Jimin?” You mumble oh so softly. Unlike the last time he heard his name slip through your lips, this time it sounds real. No pain. And Jimin finally snaps out of his haze. All it takes for him is two long strides to reach you. Like a sudden storm. A breathless gasp escapes your mouth as he wraps his arms around your unsuspecting body. Pulling you into his chest. Arms tightly squeezing you. Molding you into his body. 

Oh, God, how relieved Jimin feels. He would never be able to describe this sensation in words. Just as he is unable to describe the fear he felt. Doesn’t know what he would’ve done if this moment never came. It came, though. His worst nightmares didn’t come true. You’re here. Real. He can feel you against him. Can feel your soft breaths against his neck. Can feel your heartbeat against his chest. Can feel your hands soothingly rub his sides. Yet, a little bit of that fear is still there. He absolutely doesn’t want to let you go. Is afraid that you’ll disappear. Literally. What if you just vanish and never come back. So, he holds you even tighter. Tight enough that you whimper. Yet you don’t complain. Just keep rubbing his sides. 

“I’m fine, Park.” Keep mumbling into his neck. “I promise, I’m fine.”

Jimin nods. Forcing himself to gather his shit up. Crying isn’t an option. Among many reasons why it would be embarrassing, the main reason is what suddenly interrupts his little moment of heaven. 

“All right, that’s enough. Move-” Jimin winces at the sudden voice of his dear best friend. To his great dismay, you pull away from his embrace. Looking at Taehyung with even wider eyes. Apparently you haven’t noticed him earlier. “- why the fuck do you guys act like lost lovers kind of shit?” Taehyung grumbles as he makes his way toward you. Only to gasp when you are suddenly yanked away from a Jungkook. Jimin can only roll his eyes in annoyance as Jungkook takes his chance to hold you against his body. “Yah! You too? Seriously, guys? What the actual fuck is happening?” 

No one answers him. You and Jungkook being too busy hugging each other while Jimin being busy not trying to act as a possessive prick. 

“You okay, Noona?” Jungkook finally lets you go. You nod with a soft smile. Turn back to Jimin. 

“What are you doing here?” Question innocently. 

Jimin doesn’t answer your question. Instead just walks over to you. Grabs your shoulders, ignoring the looming presence of Jeon Jungkook. It’s unfortunate that Jimin can’t steal you away. To a place where no one else exists. Since it’s not happening, it seems like he’d have to do with just this. “Are you really fine, Lil? Wh-what? You just diss-” Jimin shuts his mouth immediately, remembering that his best friend is not a part of this loop. 

“Disappeared?” Yet Taehyung butts in. “C’mon, you can say the word disappeared. Because that’s what happened.” He points a finger at a very confused you. 

This has been Jimin’s life for a day. No matter what he or Jungkook had said, Taehyung apparently wasn’t believing him. Of course, he wasn’t. And Jimin believes that J must have been the same kind of pain in the ass for Jungkook as well. 

“Okay, what are you doing here, Tae? You came to see me? You were worried?” You perk up disregarding Taehyung’s previous words. Good question. Jimin has been asking the same question from him all morning. 

Why the hell does he have to follow Jimin around? Why the hell can't he just let it go?

“No- I mean, yes. Kind of. Not like these idiots were.” Taehyung seems baffled by your sudden question for a minute before he composes himself. Gestures between Jimin and Jungkook. Jungkook tries to protest in vain when Taehyung finally manages to take your full attention to all himself. “I mean should I be that worried? Were you fucking dying? It looked like you were dying.” He takes a step forward. Jimin drops his hands down just to bring it up and pinch the bridge of his nose. 

Not again!

“You had a freaking heart attack and this idiot just-” Taehyung points at Jimin now. 

“It wasn’t a heart attack.” Jimin mumbles wearily more to himself than to anyone else. He’s been saying the same thing over and over to Taehyung. Which apparently doesn’t reach his dumb brain. Just like now. Taehyung doesn’t give a single fuck about what Jimin says. Continues with his rant, instead. 

“-took you to fucking rest. Like it was a stupid stomach ache. Who the fuck does that? And then, this other idiot-” This time it’s Jungkook who stands behind Taehyung’s finger. “Just barges in from somewhere and says it’s fine? Fine? What’s fucking fine?” Taehyung throws his hands in the air. Strongly resembling a child throwing a tantrum.

“I didn’t say it was fine. Like… ugh… what the fuck Tae… why the hell are you yelling?” Jungkook furrows his brows. Offended. 

“Can you please let this shit go Taehyung?” Jimin sighs heavily. Wanting nothing but his friend to just let him talk to you in peace. To know what happened. But of course, that’s not going to happen.

“No..” Taehyung shakes his head. Eyes comically wide. “Absolutely not. I demand to know the freaking truth. She disappeared dude.” His finger is pointed back at you. 

“She- what do you mean she disappeared?” Jungkook asks with a straight face. Much to Taehyung’s annoyance. His face falls. Gives Jungkook a disappointed glance. 

“Really? You’re still refusing? Still lying?” Raises his brow. 

“We’re not- Taehyung, are you hearing yourself? How can she just disappear?” Jimin really doesn’t wish to lie to his best friend. But this is not a situation where he can just say the truth either. Not that Taehyung would believe him anyway. 

“Yes, I am. And that’s what happened. She went inside the room and never came back? What did you do with her? Don’t tell me she jumped off a window or something?”

“I took her home later, I already told you.” Jungkook rubs his face frustratingly. 

“No, you didn’t. Stop lying Jeon. I was fucking there. And her mother didn’t recognize her. What do you have to say about-”

“Enough.” Your sudden loud voice makes all three of them jump on their feet. Jimin snaps his head toward you at the same time Taehyung closes his mouth shut. Swallowing down his words. You exhale loudly. Despite your sparkling eyes, Jimin can see how tired you are. Your shoulders slump. Something definitely happened. And all he wants is to know that. To make sure you’re fine. Well rested. His stupid friend doesn’t know when to give up, though. Jimin nearly turns around to grab Taehyung from his shirt and drag him away when you step toward the said man. “You want to know the truth? Here’s the truth-” You fold your arms across your chest. Jimin unconsciously scowls at your words. Wondering. Worrying. But also curious. “I am from a different world and every time I sleep I shift between two worlds. In fact I’m Kim Liya’s alternate version-”

“Woah, Noona.” Before Jimin can process and say something else, Jungkook does. Eyes wide and mouth open. You, however, just hold your hand up. Just carry on with your explanation.  “She and I can’t share the same space. So, anytime when anyone mistakes me to be Liya it puts me in pain. That’s what happened. There you go. That’s the truth you wanted. Happy?” Ask in the end. Taehyung just blinks at your face for a second. 

“I- I- you- I mean- I- you, what?” Then starts stuttering as if his tongue just got fifty knots. Scowls so deeply. Looks offended. Like he just realized he’s been pranked. “Are you kidding me? Li? Do you think this is a fucking joke?” Finally composes himself. Jimin watches the way Taehyung’s expression morphed into a one of hurt. Yet before he can say anything you shrug. 

“So, you don’t believe me? I knew you wouldn’t. That’s why they haven’t told you anything. Because you wouldn’t have believed it anyway.” With that you finally pay your full mind to Jimin. Ignoring still very stunned Taehyung and a very impressed Jungkook. Even a small smile appears on Jungkook’s face. Well, what can Jimin say? That was a smart move after all. You’ve shut Taehyung up for good. And with the truth. It’s no one's fault that Taehyung isn’t believing it. 

“You okay?” You ask from Jimin instead. Funny. He should be the one asking that question. He scans your eyes for answers. Heart painfully clenching. The fact you are here, dawning upon him again. The fact that this would have not been his reality dawning upon him. How worse it could’ve gone. 

Why was he so scared anyway?

Why is he still so scared?

Why does he feel like he’s hanging by a loose thread? Like the thread is about to snap. Like it’s about to end. 

Why is he so afraid of losing you? What has changed? What’s causing this strange pain inside him?

“Jimin.” You step forward when he doesn’t answer you. Your eyes roaming over his features. Jimin feels your warmth as you step closer and closer. Stopping right before him. Waiting patiently till he answers. He doesn’t know how to. He most definitely is not okay. But why? You’re here. And all he wants is to hold you. Hold you close. Never allowing you to go. He just doesn’t want you to go. Anywhere. 

Oh, fuck!

This is not normal. He feels like he’s about to burst. From a feeling he can’t quite decipher. 

You look so vulnerable. Tired. There’s this insane urge inside him to protect you. But then what if he couldn’t? What if he failed? He has failed you just more than once already. What if he does that again? How could he forgive himself if that is the case? Then again, why can’t he forgive him? What’s so special? What are you doing to him?

A small shudder ripples through his body. Jimin forces himself to swallow the knot that is forming in his throat. Wanting to know what’s really happening. Yet as he opens his dry mouth all he manages is to repeat the same old shit. “You disappeared?” He mutters the obvious, stupidly. Closes his eyes. Reopens them. “Wh-what happened baby? You- uh I mean, did you just go back? Like how normally it happens?” Asks at last. And all you do is just gape at his face. A minute passes. Then two. Three. After what feels like an eternity you sigh heavily. Then shake your head slowly. 

“I- don’t kn-know… I don’t remember. I mean, just a voice… that’s all I can recall.” 

Now it’s Jimin’s turn to just gape at your face. Not knowing whether this is good or bad. Jungkook is the one who pushes forward first. Grabbing your shoulder and turning you to face him. 

“What voice? What do you mean? What did it say?” Showers you with a trail of questions, which Jimin thinks fair. Another sigh escapes your pretty lips. A moment of hesitation passes before you shrug. 

“That this is the beginning of the end.” A laugh which is very dry leaves your throat. A failed attempt to ease the tension. “That doesn’t make any sense, you know.” Add. Nobody joins you in laughing. Doesn’t agree with you. Hell, not even Taehyung does so. 

And the loose thread Jimin is hanging onto snaps. Making him drop into a pit with such a force that he feels like all his bones get cracked. Crushed. Pain shoots across his body. Starting from the chest.

No.

No. That can’t be right. Surely, he didn’t hear you correctly.

Beginning of what now?

How’s it already the end if he hasn’t even started it yet. What are you even talking about? What end? 

What does that even mean?

Well, he knows what that means. Oh, yes he knows. He’s been scared for a reason after all. He might not know a reason why but as you slowly turn around to face his frozen figure again. With your eyes dull and mirroring the same fear Jimin is feeling despite the smile on your lips, he doesn’t care for a reason anymore. Just because one thing is certain. He just doesn’t want to lose you. And he will not let that happen either. 

No one is going to steal you. 

Not when he just had you. Not even after ten years together. No. 

You are his. Jimin tries to respond to you with something. Fails. Not because of his incapability, but because your fake smile suddenly drops and you clutch your stomach tightly. Face twisting with pain. 

“Oh fuck!” You curse loudly before storming inside Jungkook’s apartment. 

…………………………

You wearily watch Jimin pacing around Jungkook’s living room. He is driving you mad with all that pointless energy wasting but you find yourself incapable of stopping him. There are much more pressing matters at hand. Because of course there are. And partially, you understand him. To say the least, Jimin looks simply terrified. Maybe even more than that. You’ve watched him grow pale as you state what you remembered.Then you’ve watched him turn into an overprotective father the moment he found out you were sick. You don’t even consider yourself sick—it’s just an upset stomach. You’ve been throwing up intermittently for the past day and Key has already dragged you to see a doctor. And he assured you the symptoms will disappear within the course of a few days. Jimin doesn’t buy that, however. He’s worrying too much. That leaves you with the question why? 

See now, you think you have all the reasons in the world to be scared to death. This is your life after all. Turning into dust apparently isn’t a good thing to look forward to. So of course, you’re scared. You have been ever since you opened your eyes in your bed. Drenched in sweat. Feeling nauseous. Then besides the fear of turning into dust, there’s the fear of everything ending. That fear has never left you to be honest. Since the very day you met that grandpa-kid, you’ve been scared. Scared of losing everything. It’s only that you’ve left that inevitable problem to the future you. This is that future. That problem has come to confront you face to face. And you have no place to run or hide anymore. But above everything, with you knowing undoubtedly that you like Park Jimin, that fear is gripping you like a vice crushing bones. 

When this ends- if this ends- you’ll lose him. 

When this ends- if this ends- you’ll never see him again.

Park Jimin will be just a memory.

And you feel your throat constrict at the thought. Eyes involuntarily starting to sting. You avert your gaze away from Jimin to collect yourself. This isn’t a time to be emotional. Swallowing down the knot in your throat you turn back to the man who’s still pacing around like a headless chicken. 

He’s so worried. Looks like he is about to slam his head into a wall. You’ve never seen him that worried. 

But why? What’s his reason to be scared this much?

True, he was worried the first time you thought this would end. True, he was the one who asked you to stay. True, he is still seeking you around. But to be that worried? It can’t be simply because he cares for you. Can it now? Can-

“Will you fucking stop walking around? I’m gonna throw up too! You are making her feel worse” Jungkook’s voice breaks your gloomy trail of thoughts. You snap your head to find him emerging through the kitchen with four coffees in his hand. Jimin stops his pacing as well. Scowling at Jungkook. 

“Then go ahead and throw up.” Says before he starts it again. 

“For fucks sake!” Jungkook grumbles. Yet ignore Jimin as he hands over a warm cup of coffee to you. You accept it gratefully. There’s only a few things you can stomach these days. Coffee is one of them, fortunately. He places the rest of the cups on the coffee table before sitting next to you on the couch. “He needs to save his energy to think. Not walk around. Ugh- fuck I’m getting a hedeache.” 

You snort softly at the way Jungkook grabs his head with both hands. Dramatic. But also he states a fact. Jimin needs to stop. 

“That’s not going to help Park. Can you please sit down?” You sigh as you place your sweet cup of coffee aside. Jimin halts for a second. Then eye you as if you’re stating something funny. Yet to your surprise he drops into an armchair after a heavy sigh. A moment of silence passes.

“So..” Then he starts. 

“So?” You question. 

“So, are we gonna sit here and drink coffee like nothing happened?” Jimin snaps suddenly. His eyes avert to Jungkook from you. “I thought you cared about her?”

“I fucking do.” Jungkook gasps loudly. Offended. 

“Oh, yeah? Then what? The best you can do is make her coffee?”

“I at least did that. What were you doing?”

Jimin opens his mouth to counter. His brows pulled together. Almost stand up again when you groan. “Neither of you are helping.” You drag a palm across your face, frustratedly. They both try to say something at the same time which you stop yet again. “Besides there’s nothing to be so panicked about. I’m pretty fine.” A lie. You’re not okay. But you want Jimin to calm down. Want Jungkook to stop worrying. “That happened because people thought I was Liya. As long as that won’t happen again, I’m sure I’ll be oka-”

“Okay? Are you kidding me Lil? You’re not fucking okay. You freaking disappeared.”

“Exactly! And how can you be sure that it won’t happen again?”

You blink at Jimin’s face for half a second before doing the same at Jungkook’s. Weren’t they so opposed to each other a minute ago? Now they are on the same side?

“What about the voice you heard?” Jimin states again. Followed by Jungkook’s sharp voice. 

“You gonna stay hidden or something, Noona? It is going to happen.”

 “It is. And what the fuck am I going to do if you just disappeared and never returned?”

Jimin practically yells through his lungs. And your heart skips a beat. No. No, that’s not the right term. That’s not a skip. Your heart stops. Entirely.  Just as how your lungs stop working as well. Just as how everything falls into a deep silence. Leaving you to gape at his face with round eyes. 

What?

Why would he have to say it like that? With that quivering tone. With that damned look in his eyes. As if you’re all he has. 

You keep staring into his eyes. He does the same. Just staring into yours. Completely speechless. That knot in your throat is starting to reform. A pain that is not physical, growing in your chest. You already like him. A lot. But when he’s looking at you that way. His eyes are glossy. Like he wants to hide you away, it makes you realize that maybe it’s not that you just like him. Maybe you’re too deep in this mess. Yes. You are. You are no longer just falling. You’ve already fallen. You just don’t like Park Jimin, but you love him. Of course you do. And you don’t want to leave him. It doesn’t matter how he might feel. Even if he doesn’t feel the same and looks at you that way for no reason, you don’t want to leave him. 

Because you love him. 

You are in love.

You inhale a shaky breath. Still staring into his glossy eyes. Not finding a way to break the sudden charm. You don’t even realize that everyone has gone uncomfortably quiet. It’s like nothing exists at this moment. Just you and him. Until a sudden cough- which suspiciously sounds like a scoff- erupts next to you finally breaks the spell. Making you turn your head toward the person who made the sound. Jungkook stands up from the couch just as your eyes land on him. 

“I need another coffee.” He mumbles softly, picking up his obviously still full cup of coffee. Yet before completely turning away and leaving he looks at you. Face completely void of any emotions. “That voice probably belongs to someone who pays you those visits sometimes, you know. Like that Halmeoni or that kid. Maybe we should try and find them.” Says aloud this time. As if nothing just happened. As if Jimin hasn’t just said he can’t live without you. Well, there’s a possibility that what Jimin said wasn’t that. Nobody except you must have seen anything in his eyes. You clear your throat awkwardly. Trying to shake off the tingling sensation you’re feeling. Trying to act as if your stomach isn’t full of butterflies. 

“Yes. Yes. That’s it.” Luckily for you, Jimin shouts as he jumps into his feet. Almost startling you a bit. Both you and Jungkook pay your attention to the man who suddenly appears as a kid who found their lost ball. “Why didn’t we think about that earlier?” Questions. Those damn eyes of his turning into crescents. To see that makes you strangely calm. You look at him with wide eyes. Then slowly turn your gaze to equally excited Jungkook. Uncertain about what they are talking about.

“Wh- what do you mean?” You question from no one specifically. Jungkook is the one who answers, however. 

“Well, they- whoever these people are, they know what’s exactly going on and you can ask them. Like haven’t they told you that you have a year? It doesn’t make sense that you’re suddenly in pain when you have a whole year to go. You- we have to ask and find what’s gone wrong and find a way to stop it from happening again.”

“We know what went wrong. People mistook me for Liya. That’s what happened.” You point out the obvious. 

“Yes but there should be a way to stop that from happening again.” Jungkook shrugs. Making his argument firm.

“But ho-” You start to raise questions but are silenced by a Jimin who suddenly kneels in front of you. 

“We can find a way Lil.” Mutters gleefully. Grinning from ear to ear. And you know he is not talking about preventing another incident. He’s talking about what you wanted as well. A way to stay here. A way to be greedy. There comes that feeling again. Your stomach is fluttering and heart skipping beats. He wants you here. Just like he wanted you here all those months ago. 

You know it’s not that easy. That it won’t be easy. Even if it works. If you find a way to stay here, what would that hold for your future. Will you keep shifting between two worlds forever? Or will you have to make an ultimate choice and choose a one world? Then what? What about your world? What about the life you’ve built? Will you give up on everything? True, that you always wanted this life but now when you think about it, it doesn’t seem easy. Yet the man before you, kneeling. Peeking at your face with such an excited look in his face, makes you forget the rest of the universe. Or every universe. For now, you just want to agree with him. Want to believe that there's a way that everything would be solved with everyone being happy. A happy ending. 

Your happy ending. 

You nod softly. “Yeah? I mean yes. Uh- but how?” You chew inside your cheeks to keep yourself focused. Not to let your mind go astray. 

You want to find a way. No matter what. You just want this life. This life with Jimin in it. So, you have to focus. 

“Do you remember anything they might’ve said that can help to find them?” Jimin asks again. That excitement never leaving him. You purse your lips thinking. Eyes briefly wandering to Jungkook since he was there with you the first time when the old lady visited you. There’s a chance that he might remember something you don’t. You find him already staring at you, gnawing on his bottom lip. For a minute you think he looks hurt. But then he turns his gaze away. Suddenly finding interest in one of the pictures on his wall. So, you go back into torturing your brain for something you’ve missed. Only to come up with nothing. Empty. 

“I don’t think so.” You shake your head in defeat. “Kookie?” Look at Jungkook expectantly. Just to be disappointed when he shakes his head as well. 

“I don’t think she mentioned anything else besides warning the shit out of you. And threatening to wipe away my memory.” 

Jimin exhales loudly. Gets back into his feet. “There must be a way though. If they can find you, that means they are around here somewhere.” Mutters more to himself. 

“Well it’s not like they are both from this world. I mean I met Halmeoni in this world but that kid was from my world. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. How are we ever going to find someone who just appears and disappears whenever they like?” You bring out a fair point. 

“Yes but what if you’ve met more than those two?” Jungkook perks up again. Raises one of his brows. You just gape at his face confusedly. Jimin questions him on your behalf.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, there’s a possibility that there are more people like them. It sure can’t be just two. What if Noona has met them without realizing they’re like this- uh- same mysterious creatures?” Jungkook explains with a little edge. You know he’s not certain for himself. Yet that seems like a good point. “Maybe you’ve met someone who you know how to find again and also someone like that Halmeoni.” He adds. “Think about someone who has talked to you like they know something…maybe. Or someone that makes you feel that sensation you know, the one you get when something strange happens.” Tries to make sense. And you get him. Only that nothing comes to your mind. You fumble for an answer. Trying to think hard for an occasion where something like that happened. But before you can even start to process. Jimin lets out a soft noise. 

“That old woman!” Then he exclaims loudly. Eyes wide and looking at you with a knowing look. Clearly expecting you to know what he’s talking about. You don’t. You have no single cue. 

“Wh-what woman?” So, you furrow your brows. 

“Ice cream cart?” Jimin tries again. “Namiseom Island?” And it hits you. You know exactly  what he is talking about. “I don’t know Lil, I felt damn strange. Like-”

“Like she knew something she shouldn’t.” You complete his sentence excitedly. Jump into your feet. You sure did feel strange. Especially when she talked about how short life can be. You have decided she’s been talking about life in general. Because, in a way, a human lifespan can be considered to be short. Or long. People will always think about the odds of dying tomorrow. Until this moment, you have thought that’s what she had meant. But what if she hadn’t? 

“Who’s this woman in talk?” Jungkook butts in. Confused. Just to get ignored when Jimin hurriedly turns around toward the front door. 

“We’re going now.” He states as he walks. You try to protest. In disbelief that he wants to go search for that old lady right at the moment. Before you can do it though, Jungkook starts following him.

“Well, I’m not just sitting back here.” Even walks past Jimin and already grabs his jacket from the coat rack. You roll your eyes in annoyance. They can be quite dramatic when they want. Almost follow them outside when you suddenly remember the fourth person in the room. Who has been awfully quiet the whole time. You turn around to find Taehyung sitting cross legged on the mattress on the floor. Your makeshift bed. His mouth is open and brows pulled together. Bewildered, to say the least. Giving you all a ‘what the hell look’. Poor guy. 

“You coming too Tae?” Yet you ask anyway. A beat passes where Jimin and Jungkook turn to Taehyung as well. Then Taehyung just shakes his head. Slowly. 

“Which doctor should I consult? It can’t be that all three of you are losing your minds. I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s crazy.” Declares in the end. 

…………………………

Empty.

The entire street is empty. 

Strangely, no one is walking down the beautiful lanes beneath the ginkgo trees today. Even when the weather is nice and bright. But that’s not what your concern is. Who cares if everyone in South Korea has decided to never visit Namiseom island again. No. You wouldn’t have cared even if half the population on earth has vanished. Your only concern is that where the ice cream cart once stood, there's now nothing. Empty. Not even a trace. 

But it was here the last time you visited. 

It was. You are certain. Now it is not. It’s a good thing that Jimin was there to bear witness. Otherwise you would have appeared crazy. 

“Fuck!” Jimin curses slowly as he steps forward, breaking the perfect line you'd formed with Jungkook and Taehyung. The latter has joined you in the journey to Namiseom Island despite his lack of faith in all of you. And now while Jungkook is sporting an expression of disappointment and again worry, Taehyung looks like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown. Well, it’s too bad but you have other problems to deal with. So, you follow Jimin close by. 

“Maybe, we came to the wrong place. Maybe it wasn’t here. We should take a look around.” You know it was exactly right here. There’s no way you would mistake it. Yet you suggest for the sake of it. As desperate as you are, Jimin doesn’t even waste a millisecond before he is nodding violently. 

“Yeah. Yes. We should.” There’s that crazy look in his eyes again. Worried. Hurt. Scared. Makes you want to hold him tight. But he is already walking away. Leaving you with no option but to go after him. That’s how you find yourself walking around Namiseom Island like a bunch of fools. To end up finding nothing. Just like you expected. 

And all you feel is despair. A tightness coils in your chest as you sit on a bench. Wedged between Jimin and Jungkook. Staring into nothing. You feel nauseous again. 

“At least that proves, she was exactly the one we should meet.” Jungkook mopes. Jimin lets out a bitter laugh at that. You think it’s ridiculous. Considering how excited and happy you were when this idea popped up in Jungkook’s head at first. Now you all look like deflated balloons. Except for Taehyung, of course. 

“Or… she just moved her ice cream cart away. That's the whole freaking purpose of having a vendor cart. You move that shit from place to place.” Taehyung retorts. Standing in front of the bench you are sitting. Covering all of you in his shadow. He looks comical now trying to prove his very valid point. 

“She was too old to do that.” Jimin mumbles wearily. 

“So what? It’s not like she doesn’t have a family or something. Someone might have helped her. And you guys-” He stops abruptly. Then sighs. “You know what? If this is a prank, it’s awesome. You got me.” Laughs very awkwardly. “Now you can stop.” His tone almost turns into a pleading. 

You feel a headache forming. This is absolutely absurd. Taehyung can be very much correct. Despite all the unbelievable things happening in your life, this old woman can be just another innocent human being. You can’t even believe you’ve driven all the way up here just because of a wild suspicion. It’s not too late to turn it back, however. You should just get the hell out of here.

“I need to find her.” Jimin blurts suddenly. Making every head snap into his directions. 

“Huh?” Taehyung furrows his brows so deep that it looks like it’s going to be carved into his forehead. 

“I need to find that old woman no matter what.” Jimin clarifies this time. No one says anything. You mirror Taehyung’s expression now. Confused. “I don’t care how Tae, just.. Can you ask Mr. Dong? Can’t ask Emi. She will rat me out to Liya and you know the rest of the story.” Jimin continues at the silence of the rest. Mr. Dong is Taehyung’s secretary. You’ve met him during your time at the R.U.N. A good man. 

“Holy fuck, dude!” Taehyung exclaims with an exaggerated drop of his shoulders. “Tell me you’re joking.” Rubs his face. 

“No. I’m not.” To much of his dismay, Jimin states firmly. Gets to his feet. “I just want to find the woman Taehyung-ah. Just help me will you?” Grabs Taehyung’s shoulder. “Please.” Adds. 

“You want me to make my secretary work his ass off to find an old woman who we don’t know shit about?” 

“Yes. And pay all he wants.”

“Gosh, this is damn ridiculous. I-I-”

“Please. C’mon, I’ve done far worse shit for you.” 

A silence falls over. You and Jungkook are watching the two friends who are gaping at each other. To be honest, you think Jimin is being ridiculous as well. That’s just too much. Yet just as you are about to point that out. Taehyung gives up with a heavy sigh. 

“Fine. To hell with it.” Then he eyes you. “This shit better be worth it Li.” Says. 

…………………

At first, you tried to convince Jimin that he shouldn’t go to that length to find an old woman. There was a possibility that all his effort would come to nothing. But Jimin was Jimin. He didn’t listen. He didn’t give a fuck, to say the least. Then as you finally agreed with him, you slowly started to wait for the news. For anything. Something. You would text him every morning as the first thing as soon as you woke up in his world. And every day you received a negative response. Which passed on to Jungkook when you went home. 

The days slowly passed by. One by one. For everyone’s - or at least Jimin and Jungkook’s- pleasure, you didn’t have any awful- as they call- heart attacks. You were doing fine. Day by day, you’ve recovered from having to endure such pain. You suspect the upset stomach you got was mainly due to that than anything bad you ate. Yet with the days, you became normal again. Living your best possible life in two different worlds. The day at the gallery and the incident is slowly starting to fade into the memory. Life is slowly settling back onto a normal track where you are simply struggling with unemployment. 

Just like now. “You can come back to the company, baby.” Jimin whispers into your neck. You’re alone in Kim’s kitchen. It has become such a normal thing for your friends to take advantage of Namjoon’s restaurant. It doesn’t matter how much he would complain. As for now, you are in charge of making Anju for the night. Nobody assigned you. You have volunteered. And just a few minutes after you entered the kitchen, there was Jimin. Right behind you. 

You don’t get to see or meet Jimin at all these days. Just a few sneaky meetups are all you get. You find it insane how you miss him every day. How you long for him. You would never tell anyone but you’re always looking forward to Taehyung or Hoseok to just barge into Kim’s restaurant. Because by experience you know Jimin would be there too. Like now. 

You try to step away from his hold. Not because you want to but because you’re afraid of someone walking in and witnessing this. You don’t even know how Jimin manages to sneak in after you. Jimin doesn’t allow you to step away from him. He tightens his grip while whining. “Please. I missed you.” Hides his face in your neck. Is hugging you from the back. 

“What if someone comes in?” You hiss. Eyes darting between mixing up your peanuts and the door. 

“Let them.” Jimin mumbles again. His soft breath kissing your neck as he speaks. Melting you against him. It’s really hard not to give into his warm embrace. Especially when he gives you a gentle kiss. Right into your pulse point. “I don’t care. Just miss you.” Another kiss. You shiver. Close your eyes. Reopen them and give in. Just lose yourself in his familiar soothing scent. Allowing yourself to feel relaxed. 

“Me too. I miss you too.” Admit. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm.” You sigh as Jimin starts to rub your stomach soothingly. You let your head fall back into his chest. 

“Then come back to work, princess.” Thousands of tingles shoot across your spine when he slowly sneaks his hands inside your t-shirt. “You know everyone will love it if you do. Come back, hm?” His words almost don’t reach your ears. You are slowly falling victim to his trap. Even your breathing is turning uneven. Who can blame you, though. You really do miss Park Jimin. Everything about him. His soothing touch to his breathy voice. Of course, you’re losing your mind on him. And to make things worse or better he starts drawing mindless patterns across your stomach. Making your skin pebbles under his touch. Making you tremble. All the while slowly kissing your neck and jaw. Inhaling your scent. Keeps dragging his fingers across your skin agonisingly slow. Up and down. Down and up. To your sides. Then down toward your waistband. Plays with it. Dips his hands inside. Not all the way down but just a little then pulls out again. You bite onto your lower lip to suppress the moans that are about to slip out. “Lil? Come back?” He groans in your ear, reminding you that you haven’t answered his question. 

Oh yes, the question.

You straighten up like an arch. Trying to collect yourself. This time manage to step away from a slightly surprised Jimin. Turn around to face him. You give him a stern look just to earn a pout in return. 

“Oh, c’mon! Don’t be a stubborn goat, lady.” Whines. You gasp in feigned offense. 

“Goat?” You absolutely love it when you two would start bickering out of nowhere. Remind you of the old days. He’s always regarded you as a stubborn goat, hasn’t he? 

“No. You’re a stubborn donkey.” He says with a stern face. Places his hands on his hips. You gasp again. Louder this time. Yet before you can counter back he starts scolding you. “You fucking need a job, Lil. Why can’t you just take back your old job when the freaking CEO offers you the position himself.” 

You roll your eyes. He’s been asking you the same thing for weeks now. 

First time was the day after you returned from your failed trip to Namiseom. He made an unannounced appearance in front of Kim’s in the evening. Asked you to come out. That was the first day you’ve felt like a real mistress. Sneaking out inside his car. Like a sleazy fox. Just to share a stolen moment of breathless whimpres. Laying in the backseat of his car while his cock was drilling in and out of you. His possessive bites decorating your skin in purple marks while you stained his expensive seats with your essence. Moaning out his name while he fucked you sensually. As if he had all the time in the world and it wasn’t just a moment you borrowed from the universe. And after you’ve both ended riding your highs, as you were drinking up his sweet scent and cuddling on his lap was when he brought up the idea first. 

Come back to work with Hoseok, baby. I’m going mad. I just want you around. 

It felt compelling. Especially when he asked that with a still husky voice and you were running high on your hormones. Aftermath of your orgasms still on your veins. But you said ‘No’. Because no matter how good the offer was, you will not go back into the company. It's too much trouble to go through. You didn’t want to meet Liya again. Not when you are back into being the same nasty bitch you are. Only difference? You are in love now. Despite everything, you wouldn’t risk your forbidden moments with Jimin for anything. It’s all good this way. Even though you have no job. Even though you will eventually become a burden on Jungkook’s shoulders. Or not. You’ll maybe become a burden on Jimin’s shoulders. Like a real mistress. A sugar baby. Your inner self- sane woman who’s still alive inside you- will scream at you. Even though you’ll feel like shit, you won’t go back to work in the R. U. N. If that’s the price for Jimin, then so be it. 

“No, Park. I’m too freaking ashamed to go back there.” You give him a firm shake of your head.

“Nobody knows anything.”

“What if they do? Emi knows for sure. And She will let Liya know that I’m back and I’m not- uh- I’m not risking anything Jimin.”

“Risking what? She can’t make decisions for my company.”

“Yes but she can make your main sponsor say bye to you. You still haven’t figured things out Jimin. You still want time and I’m not going to ruin things even before they start.”

“That-” Whatever Jimin tries to say gets drowned with a loud voice closely followed by the loud thud of kitchen door slamming against the wall. And for no surprise you find Taehyung barging in with a wide grin. J follows him and Jin follows her. Then of course everybody follows everyone, making you thank yourself for stepping away from Jimin. 

Still, with at least a five steps between you and Jimin, you feel nervous when you see your friends. Now you call them your friend. Because you feel that way. Somewhere along this shitty line, you’ve become friends. And you’re scared of them judging you. Of them deciding they no longer want to be friends. But no one shows even a sign of suspicion or noticing something off. 

“Guess what?” Taehyung barks happily. 

“What takes you so long to mix up some peanuts?” Yoongi doesn’t allow you or Jimin to ask ‘what?’ from Taehyung. Taehyung, however, doesn’t care. 

“We just decided, we are going camping.” He exclaims happily. 

“You did? Wow, good for you. Have fun then.” Jimin says with a serious face. Making you and several others snort. Taehyung lets out a very fake laugh. 

“Very funny.”

“What? You didn’t ask me or Lil if we wanted to join.” Jimin states innocently. A small smile is creeping up on his lips.

“No need. I as your best friend made the decision for you. You’re going. And Jungkook here-” He points to Jungkook who has started munching on peanuts without a care. “As Li’s guardian-”

“My what?” You butt in for the first time. Not even knowing whether you should be offended or not. 

“Guardian.” Taehyung repeats himself. Goes back to continue what he was saying. “He made the decision for Li. So, you’re going too.” States. Firmly. You gape at his face in pure disbelief for a minute before averting your gaze to Jungkook in a silent question. Jungkook gulps down his mouthful of peanuts first. Then takes another handful. 

“What? I am your guardian. You are under my protection little lady.”

Jimin beats you in the scoff he lets out. Nobody minds him. Not even Jungkook. 

“Isn’t she older than you?” Hoseok joins Jungkook in eating peanuts. You watch the way Jungkook gives a sneaky smile. Almost like a smirk. Looks you dead in the eye. You both know why. 

“Oh yes, she is. But age is just a number, Hyung. Who cares?” Winks. You don’t think you’ll be able to roll your eyes as much as you want. 

“I am not going.” So, you simply announce.

“Why not?” Jimin gasps right away. You just want to bang your head on a wall. He is asking why now? And Jungkook forgot that you can’t as well. 

“Well, I don’t think I’d be able to stay up for a few days at this rate Mr. Park,” You say to Jimin first. And his face instantly turns serious with the realization. Then you turn to Jungkook to find that the smirk has already vanished. In its place now is gloom. “Too bad you forgot that as my so-called guardian, Jeon.” Nonetheless you say without a care of other people hearing your absurd conversation. They won’t understand a thing anyway. Proving your suspicions true, Namjoon gasps. 

“Wait? What the fuck? You’ve never gone camping? Why would you ever think you have to stay up? We’re gonna have tents and- you know what? We’re definitely going and we’re taking her with us no matter what? This is so sad.” He shakes his head in sympathy. Well, fuck, this isn’t your desired outcome. 

“That’s stupid Namjoon. Even if she’s never gone camping, why would she think she has to stay up?” Jin butts in. Slapping Hoseok's hand away, who is trying to steal the peanuts on Jin’s hand. Instead of Hoseok he hands them all to a grinning J. 

“Ask her? She said so.” Namjoon argues, offended. Jin doesn’t ask you, however. Says something else to Namjoon as you pay your attention to Jimin and Jungkook who now look like wounded puppies. 

“Sure we can come up with something.” Jungkook hesitantly mumbles. Eyes wandering over to Jimin. You follow Jungkook’s action, looking at Jimin expectantly. He doesn't look like a brat who would whine and pout until you agree anymore. Instead he is serious now. You know he won’t do anything that would put your well being under a risk. No. You know he’s already decided to step away. Listen to you. Yet before any of that Jungkook stands up abruptly.

“Wait!” He bursts out. Grabbing everyone's attention. “That old lady. I mean the one who visited you at the cottage,” He looks at you. You know what he is talking about, though you have no idea where he is going with this. Not to mention that everyone is staring at him as if he’s a lecturer and they all are students without a single clue. “She did that because you stayed up, didn’t she?” Jungkook disregards every curious look upon him. “She came because you were doing something you shouldn’t be doing. No more than seventy two hours in one place, yeah? You almost spent more than two days there and boom there she was to warn you.” Jungkook looks excited like a little kid. Eyes all lighten up and face bright. 

“Gosh, no.. not this again!” You hear Taehyung groans. But you don’t pay him any attention. You are fully focused on whatever Jungkook is saying. 

“And then, you didn’t wish- I mean you wished for something you shouldn’t and there that kid came. Again, warning-” He steps away from where he is standing. Rounds the table to walk over to you. And you’re beginning to understand where he is going now. Slowly. But surely. The pieces falling into their places. “Noona? Do you get what I’m saying.” Jungkook grabs your shoulders. Gives you a gentle shake. “You- we don’t have to look for them. They’ll come find you if you just break a rule. Do something you shouldn’t do. Like-”

“Staying up for a few days.” You complete it for him. Jungkook nods enthusiastically. Looks past you at Jimin. A beat passes then even before you can so much as blink you are being yanked back. 

“No! Hell no! Are you kidding me Jungkook?” Jimin drags you back at the same time he steps between you and Jungkook. Lets you go before focusing on speaking with Jungkook. “That’s too much of a risk to take. What if she- what if-” Stutters. Swallows down what was about to say. Changes it at the last minute. “No. We’re not doing that.” Declares. Making Jungkook’s jaw go slack. Despite the fact they both would agree on some things, you know they can’t stand each other. Jungkook appears like he wants to say something else but is interrupted by the tentative voice of Yoona. 

“What are we talking about again?” 

“Yes. Are we talking about a movie or something?” It’s J who chimes in as well. 

“Nope. I think they are talking in a secret code. Those words have different meanings.” Hoseok puts his two cents on the table as well. You turn your head to find everyone gaping at the three of you like you’ve grown second heads. Well, fuck that. This might look more than crazy. You force yourself to give them a smile. Which for sure comes out as a grimace. Awkward. Everyone waiting for one of you to answer. 

“It’s a.. Movie?” Jungkook is the one who manages to bring something up at last. Hesitantly. His eyes on J. Just to let her know that her guess was the correct one. For a moment nobody says anything. Then Jin perks up. 

“Yeah? What movie? Sounds interesting. I feel like you three are characters in it.” Raises his brow. Jungkook sighs heavily. Knowing his lie is obvious. Leaving you to stupidly stare at your friends’ judging faces. You have no idea what to say. Jungkook shouldn’t have started this here. Now you would never find a way to-

“That’s a movie they want to produce” Taehyung grumbles suddenly. Every single head turning toward him. 

Oh, fuck no!

“What?” Yoongi snorts. 

Exactly! 

“Yup. The movie we want to produce.” Then you hear Jungkook agreeing. That’s the stupidest lie you’ve ever heard. Yet even with its absurdity, it makes your friends turn into each other instead of gawking at you. Splitting into two teams to debate how stupid that is. Good. They’ve got distracted. And you take the opportunity to check with Jimin. As soon as your eyes land on him, he shakes his head. Firmly. Mouth a thin line. 

“We are not doing that.” Says. Just grab a chair and sits down. 

But what if it’s the only way?

……………………….

Your blood is boiling. You're so mad, you feel like you could punch a hole through a wall. Or so you think. Probably won’t try it though. But still you’re so mad. Mad at Park Jimin. Who the hell does he think he is, to demand what you should or shouldn’t do in your life? You are fully capable of making your own decisions. Whether they are bad or good. Yet here Jimin is. Ordering you around. Saying ‘No’ whenever you bring up the idea of staying up until someone mysterious would visit or going on that camping trip. 

And to make matters worse, Jungkook has turned his back on you as well. He no longer is excited about his own idea, nor does he want to go on the trip. According to him—even though he hates admitting Jimin's right, he wasn’t thinking through when he brought up the idea. Now though, he doesn’t even want to think about that. 

That drives you up the wall. 

It’s been weeks since the day the idea came in. Since the day Taehyung and J had started planning on the camping trip. An odd pair to be working together, but apparently, they are in charge. Yet no matter how hard you try, these two men in your life are acting like stubborn bulls. Now you’re running out of patience. There’s only so much a girl can take after all. 

See now, it’s not that you wanted to go on a darn trip at first. No. All you wanted was to try out the theory Jungkook brought up. In desperate hope that it would work and you’ll find a way somehow. Then somewhere along the line of you trying to persuade Jimin and listening to Taehyung and J ramble about the same thing over and over again, you wanted to kill two birds with one stone. If you are about to risk your life trying to test out another theory, then you might as well do it while enjoying a weekend trip with the new crackheads in your life. You want to go on that trip. You want to see what will happen if you break a rule. It doesn’t matter how bad things could go. And Jimin and Jungkook can go fuck themselves. 

You barge inside Jungkook’s cozy kitchen. Just out of the shower, your hair still wet. You’ve made up your mind while showering. No one can rule your life this way. 

“I. Am. Going.” You state just as you spot Jungkook standing in front of the stove. Cooking something that smells delicious. He turns around to face you in surprise at your unexpected voice. 

“What?” Asks innocently. 

“Camping. I am going, Jeon Jungkook.” You repeat, more firmly. Yet as how it was all these times, Jungkook sighs heavily. 

“No Noona, you-”

You shut him up by throwing the towel in your hand toward him. He catches it with ease for your annoyance. 

“You fucking don’t get to decide what I do, Jungkook. I decide what I want and right now I’ve decided I am going.” You declare once again before you turn around. Ready to leave when Jungkook starts to say something else. 

“Bu-”

And knowing exactly what he is about to say you turn toward him again before he can even start. “And neither does Park Jimin. He doesn’t get to say what I do either.” Jungkook closes his mouth, proving that he indeed was about to bring Jimin up a second ago. Feeling victorious, you waste no time in storming toward the coffee table in the living room. Just to pick up your phone. You have just rendered one man speechless and there’s another one to go. 

I’m going on that trip Park.

You shoot Jimin a quick text. Almost lock your phone screen and toss it away when it vibrates with a new message. You roll your eyes. At this rate you will start to believe that the CEO of R.U.N has no job to do. That’s how much Jimin has been texting you these days. You open the new message. 

You are not.

A bitter scoff leaves your mouth. 

The fucking audacity of this man. Oh, only if you could throw a wet towel right across his face as well. Unfortunately though, that is not an option. So, you opt into another text message. 

Try stopping me!!!!!!!

Then you toss your phone away just as Jungkook steps before you. 

“Noona!” He whines. Your towel is still in his hand. Looks like a hungry baby. You will not fall into that trap though. He can whine all the much he wants, you’ll not give a fuck. 

“What?” You snap. Feeling guilty instantly when he winces. Just for a second, however. He gains his posture rather quickly and your feelings shift into anger just as he opens his mouth. 

“Oh, c’mon, we can’t do that. You can’t. You didn’t even want to go on that stupid trip in the first place.” Jungkook finally throws your towel into the couch. 

“Well, that’s before you came up with the idea.” 

“Fuck. I’m such an idiot then.”

“No. You’re such a genius.” 

“Noona…” Jungkook even stomps his feets like a child. You groan, exasperated 

“My god, Kookie. Will you please stop? I just want to see if it works and I want to go on that trip.” A silence falls over following your words. Just Jungkook looking at you with wide eyes. Eyes that are troubled. Worried. Scared. You know they care. Both him and Jimin. But they need to understand as well. “Listen Jungkook. I just don’t plan on dying, you know. I don’t want to do something that would harm me either. All I want is to just try. I’m not going to stay past seventy two and fuck everything up.” You step closer to him. He just pouts. Adorable. “I promise I’ll just sleep before the clock runs out.” Put your hand on his arm, feeling him relax under your touch. 

It’s amazing how close you’ve become. You thank god every day for not letting it ruin between you and Jungkook after that day. It would have hurt so bad if you had fucked up your relationship with Jungkook. In the end, he is the home you come to after an exhausting day. Even when you love Park Jimin. A lot. Too much perhaps. Jungkook is your home. And you want him to understand you. 

“But what if something bad happens, Noona..” He concedes after a long minute. Takes your hand in his. Squeezes. Peers into your eyes. You squeeze his hand in return.

“But what if not? What if nothing happens? What if everything went so good and-” You let out another breath. “Please Kookie. Let’s just go and enjoy ourselves. Even if this doesn’t work or even if they come and say I’ll just have to stop coming here from tomorrow, then at least we’d have good memories.”

“Oh, fuck don’t say stuff like that. Not fair!” Jungkook this time squeezes your hand as if he wants to break it. Making you almost whimper. 

“Please. I want to go and I want you there as well.” You give your best puppy eyes. Despite these two men being a pain in the ass for you with their ridiculous commands and demands, they have made it unbearable when they’ve decided not to go as well. How stupid is that? 

Jungkook lets your hand go. Allowing it to fall limp. Groans. Pushing both of his hands through his tousled black hair. Then gives you a look. Utterly done. Yet instead of saying anything to you, start fishing inside his pocket. You watch curiously as he pulls out his phone. Starts typing something furiously while muttering something inaudible to himself. You are just about to ask him what the fuck is he doing when you hear your phone vibrates yet again. Still confused, you slowly bend over to grab the device. Quickly unlocking it. There sure is a message from Jimin but you ignore it. Go to the group chat J has created for the very purpose of this trip. The newest text there is from Jungkook. 

Count me in. I’m coming……

A slow smile spreads across your face. 

“Happy?” Jungkook questions affectionately. You beam at him. Nodding your head crazily before throwing your arms around his neck. He returns the hug instantly. Arms protectively wrapping around your waist and crushing you in his hold. 

“Thank You.” You mumble. 

“You’re so fucking annoying.” He grumbles. 

………………………….

A vein throbs in Jimin’s head. This is how he’ll die. He’ll have a stroke. The thing is, he’s not exactly mad. No. He is frustrated. Tired. Freaking exhausted. He is annoyed at the fact that he can’t get mad even if wants to. 

Arguing with you is like asking a boulder to move on its own. No use. And if this was anyone else, Jimin would’ve strangled them by now. But alas. This is you he has to deal with. It’s impossible to get mad. How can he after all? 

He swears he was about to give you a piece of his mind when he turns around after you whine out a ‘please Park’. Then there you are. Stubbornly pouting. Cheeks puffing out. An adorable scowl on your forehead. Nose scrunching up a little bit. Getting angry? At you? Who’s he kidding? He just wants to swallow you whole. And top of everything, you have to look like that. The pretty floral dress you’ve chosen for the night dancing around you to the gentle melody of wind. The silky material hugging your ethereal curves divinely. The gloss you have applied on your luscious lips glistening under the street lamps. Just as how your eyes are shining. That starry night. His starry night. How can he be mad at you?

“For fucks sake, Lil!” So he grumbles frustratedly. Steps toward you. You just look to your side. Obviously mad at him. “C’mon baby, listen to me. Stop being stubborn please.” He takes another step forward. You turn your head even further away. He is sure you’ll even snap your neck trying to keep your head turned away from him. “Spring Roll!” So he does his best to make you look at him. 

“What?” You bark. But still don’t look at him. Leaves him with no other options but to grab your face. Squeezing your cheeks and turning you to face him by force. 

But fuck!

Shouldn’t have done that now. You are apparently a witch. Are bewitching him with your fiery gaze and even more pouty lips. When Jimin gently shakes your face and talks to you sternly next he certainly doesn’t feel the way he sounds. It’s just a pretense to get you to relent. “Do you think this is a game, Lil? Huh?” 

“No.” You answer with the same fiery tone. Try in vain to push his hand away. “I know what I’m doing, Park.” Add. Well, that’s the case. Jimin doesn’t think you know what you’re doing at all. He doesn’t want you to do this. No. It’s too much of a risk. He doesn’t even want to humor the thought. There are a million things that can go wrong. You never returning? That’s not the worst case after all.  Sure, it would make Jimin die everyday while being alive. It would hurt him greatly. The prospect of not seeing you ever. Not even a glimpse. But still you’ll be safe and alive somewhere. Even if it is in a different universe. The worst case, however, is something bad happening to you. Turning into dust? Well, isn’t that another fancy way to say dying. The thought alone makes Jimin tremble.

No. He won’t let you. This is all Jungkook’s fault after all. Then the idiot decided to give up like that. Now he has to make sure you don’t do something stupid. All by himself.

“You don’t know what you’re doing baby. You’re acting like a kid.” He stops squeezing your cheeks so you can actually speak. He does it hesitantly. Ready to grab your face again in case you turn your face away again. You don’t. This time you keep your shiny eyes on him. 

“Oh, fuck you, Park. You’re the one who’s being a kid right now. You’re not even listening to me.” You huff. Fuck, you are impossible. Are pouting again. He gets this strong urge to kiss that pout away. Kiss you until you’re breathless and forget about this argument. Or maybe he can just turn you around, bend you over the car hood and fuck all your senses away. That’s not the rational thing to do, however. You’re too precious for him to just avoid confrontations. He has to face it.  

“I am listening to you lady, you just-”

“Then why the fuck can’t you understand that I just want to try.” You interrupt Jimin’s words. And he just swallows his next words up. Not knowing what to say anymore. 

“Lil…” Just rests his forehead against you. You don’t show any dislike. Just sigh in content. So he closes his eyes. Enjoying the close proximity. Enjoying your soft breaths fanning his face. Your body warmth radiating into him. And he feels you relax. Knows that if he’s to open his eyes now, he would witness that fire leaving your eyes. Wondrous. That is. What a single touch from him would do to you. Amazing. How it is the same for him. He relaxes in your hold as well. Especially when you bring a hand to cup his cheek. This feels good. Too good. All he wants is to stay in this moment. Your touch, your breath, and your soft voice are igniting a fire inside him. That fire is not lust though. No. This is something else. This is a kind of fire that is so intense it makes him want to cry. It’s soothing and painful at the same time. It’s a restlessness. It’s a yearn. It’s a fascination. 

God it hurts so good. He doesn’t even know how to explain it to you. Yet it seems an argument won’t solve the problem at all. So, he gives up. Changes the course. “Please.. I don’t want to risk it. I want you to be safe.” Speaks so softly that even he can’t hear his voice properly. You hear him of course. You always will. You just nod. Hand still cupping his cheek. Forehead still resting against his. Gives Jimin a fake sense of hope that you’re about to relent for a second. Then you inhale a long breath. 

“I know.” Mutter. Your breath tingling his lips. “I know Jimin. But I’m so fucking scared.” Admit in a hush voice. Jimin goes rigid on your hold. Squeezing his already closed eyes even tighter. Of course, you’re scared. This is your life after all. If he’s scared of you dying, then you might be petrified. Jimin has always wondered whether you really wanted to do this. Or even if you do, how long it will be until you change your mind. True, you were the one who rushed to him, panicked and scared, when you first heard you only have a year. True, you agreed with him right away when he asked you to stay. But what if you have now changed your mind.  What if you’re being so stubborn because you want to go back. 

Jimin suddenly doesn’t want to listen to you. But you do speak. Completely oblivious to the turmoil he’s going through. “I’m so freaking scared Jimin.” Your voice comes out hoarse. Jimin snakes his arms around you. Places one in your waist and the other on the back of your head. He would understand if you just want to end it. He would just give you the right-

“Oh, c’mon, we were supposed to have a year.” Then you suddenly choke out. Forcing Jimin to snap open his eyes. 

Wait what?

He directly peers at your eyes. Eyes that are glossed over now. Covered with a sheen of tears. No. That’s never been his intention. He doesn’t want you to cry. Before he can say anything, though, you start again. “You were supposed to have a year to make me want to stay. I was supposed to have a year to decide. I just-” You gulp harsh. “I just want to stay, Jimin. You don’t want me to stay anymore?” Ask with such a broken voice Jimin feels his heart physically bleeds. 

“No, baby. Lil, no… I- why would you even say that.” He instantly pulls away from you, so he can get a better view of your gorgeous face. Cups your face with both of his hands. “God, I want you to stay. I want you to stay until you don’t want to anymore. Until you’re so tired of me. Until you’re done with me.” Mumbles, warmly. He’d never admit the sickening joy he feels at your confession. You want to stay. And blame him for yearning for that. 

“Then let’s just try.” You put your hands on top of him. Peer at his eyes. Yours glinting. Beautiful. Oh, so fucking beautiful. He’s growing weak. Even his knees buckle under your soft gaze. He can’t say no. Not after what you’ve said. 

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

What the fuck are you doing to him. Why’s he so weak when it comes to you?

“Fuck, Lil. You just, ugh-” So, he groans. Decides he would give in then. But of course, he still can come up with a good deal. If he’s losing then might as well try to bargain. “Twenty four hours then.” Offers. And your soft expression instantly morphs into a furious one. Damn adorable. 

“Oh fuck, that’s just a day Jimin. Fuck that! Seventy hours.”

“Forty eight.”

“Sixty eight.”

“Sixty. That’s it. No more. That’s more than enough.” 

You open your mouth. Then as if you change your mouth at the last minute, close it back. Sigh. “Fine. Deal.” Agree. “Deal.” Jimin agrees as well. A moment passes. In that moment your expression turns back into an excited one back again. “You know, besides this whole deal, I want to go on that trip so bad.” Say with the most endearing smile he has ever seen. He can’t help but peck your lips. “Yeah?” Questions against your lips. 

“Mm hm, it’s going to be fun. We can sneak out in the night and then fuck.” Your tone is comically serious when you say that. A throaty laugh erupts from Jimin. 

“Is that a bribe, lady. That’s.. Not going to work. That’s terrible.” He shakes his head in displeasure. Or at least trying to appear disappointed. The smile that is spreading across his lips gives him away. 

“It won’t?” You raise a brow. 

“It won’t.” He confirms. You tilt your head cockily. 

“Are you sure, Park?” Ask confidently before dragging your hand through his stomach. And he knows where your destination is. He works at light speed when he grabs your hand and holds it still. Making you giggle prettily. His entire body flushes at the sound. 

Oh, he would do anything to keep hearing that sound. Anything.

“You little minx.” He drops his lips once again toward yours. Catching your lips in a searing kiss. You reciprocate it happily. Curling your arms around his neck and slowly starting to press your body desperately against him. Making blood rush to his cock. Making him painfully hard. It’s funny how he is twitching inside his pants within mere seconds. Just because he is getting drunk on your lips. Just because he feels your body against him. Looks like he would have to take care of the cum stains in his car seats again.  

A minx indeed. 

His minx, nonetheless. 

……………………..

You are giddy like a school kid going to their first ever sleepover. You have been buzzing with excitement for the past few days. Even disregarding your nerves about the prospect of what might come out of this. Poor Key and Jungkook had to endure your excited rambling for almost a week. Jungkook did it happily though. Not Key, however. She wasn’t happy about you going missing for an entire three days. Especially, with her knowing what can happen if things go wrong. She was terrified of the prospect of you wiping out of her memory. You had to reassure her hundreds of times yesterday before bed. Promising on your friendship that you would return safely. Before she forgot you.

You are certain that anything like that won’t happen, though. You have that positive feeling. In your stomach. Of course, you are buzzing. Besides, this is your first time camping. You are a little sad that Key can’t join. Maybe, you will arrange another trip in your world. With Key. And Chan. You not so surprisingly found out that you are very happy about the idea of Key dating Chan. Even though she doesn’t admit it yet. They make a cute couple. And you should arrange that trip. Because you are definitely not opposed to feeling this way again. 

Entire two- hour drive to the camping site with Jungkook and Taehyung was filled with nothing but an endless laughter. Even Taehyung’s very off-key singing has brightened up your mood. You will never admit it to his face but Taehyung is the best company someone could ever wish for. He has you choking on laughter describing all the weird people he met during his search for the ice cream vendor. Jungkook too. All three of you are still trying to calm down from the last joke cracked by Taehyung when he finally brings the car to a halt. You take in a deep breath before practically jumping out of the car. Into the first breezes of summer. Feeling the soft but warm sun kissing your skin and letting wind play with your hair. Crunching green grass under your feet. 

“Fuck, I love this!” You mumble to yourself. Throw your head up to feel the sun in your face. Fill up your lungs with fresh air. Then take a good look around your campsite. Eyes falling on the few people who are already here. You spot Yoongi in the distance. Carrying some heavy bags while Hoseok walks behind him. Probably bossing around. You spot Namjoon and Yoona as well. Helplessly staring down at a tent. They are not going to get that thing up. Not unless someone else helps them. 

Grinning from ear to ear, you raise both your hands to wave at them. Three pairs of hands greet you back. Yoongi greets you with his foot. He just raises his one foot and tilt it side to side. Understandable. His hands are full. You snort loudly before finally turning around to see what Jungkook and Taehyung are doing. Find them bickering over luggage. You walk over them to offer a hand. 

“Need help?”

“No.” Jungkook exclaims. 

“Yes.” Taehyung bursts out. Whips his head to Jungkook in disbelief. “Of course, we need help. There’s so many bags.”

“Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” Jungkook rolls his eyes. 

“I am. Take this.” Taehyung disregards Jungkook as he forces a heavy bag into your hands. You barely catch it, balancing it out on your arms hardly. 

“Yah! You stupid..” You hiss, finally managing to save the bag from falling. Taehyung pays you no attention. “Very gentlemanly… And he’d talk about his impressive dick.” You mutter under your breath. Yet unfortunately he hears it. Straightens up immediately. 

“I do have an impressive dick.” Points out. 

“Well, that doesn’t count if you are not a gentleman.”

“Why are we talking about his dick?” Jungkook butts in, unloading more bags. 

“Good question.” You nod in agreement with Jungkook. 

“Because, I have an impressive one.” Taehyung yet again notes. 

“How can we believe it? You have to show us then.” Jungkook challenges Taehyung with a smug look on his face. Okay, you shouldn’t have brought this topic up. This is going to become a headache now. Luckily for you, though, just before Taehyung can reply to Jungkook’s challenge, the sound of an oncoming vehicle diverts all your attention. You all turn around to witness the infamous black E.W. 

Jimin. 

A huge grin breaks on your lips at the sight. Initially, it was planned that you, Jungkook, and Taehyung all would be riding with Jimin. Then Jimin had to attend an important meeting together with Jin. You believe that the meeting has nothing to do with the new game they are launching soon. For some reason, you think it has everything to do with Jimin’s plan for escaping the vice grip Liya’s father has on their company. His plan for freedom. Whatever the real reason might be, it has made you travel without Jimin. You with Jungkook and Taehyung and Jimin with Jin and J. You would be lying if you say you weren’t a teeny bit upset but that’s not a problem. He is here now. 

You contemplate moving forward for a second. Not knowing what exactly you should do. It’s not like that you can jump into his arms freely. Then before you can do anything Taehyung beats you to it. A huge gasp leaving his mouth and dropping the bag on his hands. 

“Jimin-ah…” Shouts through the top of his lungs. Making you flinch at the loud noise and Jungkook cursing slowly. 

“Yah! Yah! We have eggs in that bag idiot.” He yells after his curse. 

Taehyung, though, doesn’t even hear Jungkook as he’s already running to Jimin. Dramatic. Only- if only you can roll your eyes to the back of your head. Since you can’t do it, you just opt to watch the way Taehyung runs halfway toward the car. Stops when Jimin gets out of the car before he could reach it. And naturally your eyes roam over to the man you’re in love with. Still in his work attire for no surprise. Your stomach does that flip over instantly at the sight of him. Butterflies. Eating you from the inside. In a good way. Just for a long second, however. Even before you can process the feeling, Jimin slams the car door shut. The butterflies in your tummy instantly disappear at the sound, just like how Taehyung’s smile does. 

Jimin turns to face you then. His jaw slack. Eyebrows pulled together. The expression is so tight. Pissed! Undoubtedly, that’s how an angered man would look. And you know how this specific man looks when he’s mad. 

Oh! Something might’ve gone wrong.

You wonder if it has to do something with the said meeting. Or something else that went wrong with the company. You don’t get to think too hard, though. A sound of a second car approaching takes your attention away from Park Jimin and toward a white car. It’s very familiar. You are certain you’ve seen it somewhere. You furrow your brows in confusion as the vehicle comes to a halt. A couple seconds pass. It’s unfortunate the driver had parked it in a way that obscured their face from you. So, you wait patiently until the driver’s side door opens. Until a figure gets out. 

A figure wrapped in a black blazer set just similar to Jimin. Her raven silky hair framing her perfectly maintained face. Tall in her four inches. And wearing a condescending smile. 

Of fucking course, the car is familiar!

Because it’s Kim Liya’s. 

Your stomach drops. A weird sensation engulfs you whole. Really? This again? You immediately avert your gaze toward Jimin. Are met with his apologetic eyes. You can’t believe it. You didn’t know she was coming. Why is she here anyway? Maybe that’s such a selfish thought but nobody has ever mentioned her presence. This is just like the day at the restaurant. Like J’s birthday. Liya has made a surprise appearance and you’ve ruined everything that day. This can’t be happening again. 

You wouldn’t have come if you knew she was coming. Not to be a bitch but this is going to mess things up. You should not believe your gut feeling after this. Everytime you think it’s going to be good, something like this happens. See now, you are well aware that you have no rights to have such bitter thoughts. You know you’re an outsider. This is her life. These people are supposed to be her friends. Or not. Liya is not exactly fond of this friend group. She has made it obvious. Everybody knows it. Which is why you question her presence on this occasion. Still you are the outsider, though. You shouldn't question her presence. This is her world. Her life. She can be anywhere she wants to be. 

And now you can’t do anything about it either. She is here and so are you. It’s going to be an exhausting trip. You would still go through it. You have other important matters to attend to after all. This is nothing. Just three nights of enduring her presence. Just three days of seeing her being Jimin’s girlfriend. The person who you are not. 

Well, it sucks to be you!

You throw another brief glance at Jimin. His eyes are still on you. No longer pissed but remorseful.  You ignore him. Turn around to take the bag to the campsite just as a second figure- who you recognize as Seoyoen- steps out of the car. 

“I thought you didn’t want to come here.” Taehyung asks in apprehension. 

“Plans change, baby.” Seoyeon answers. 

That’s the last thing you hear before you walk over to your other friends. 

………………

You all stand in a circle in the middle of your campsite. Surrounded by the newly built tents. Maybe not all of you are standing since Hoseok and Yoongi are lying down. Yoongi’s face is covered by a hat and you suspect he’s already in dreamland. Meanwhile Hoseok is constantly complaining. 

“Yah! Get this shit done already kids. I need to eat.” He grumbles once again. Prompting J and Taehyung who’ve been going over something on a tablet together, to raise their heads. You find it amusing to see them working together. Especially, when they act like they’re on a mission to save the world. 

“Shut up, Hyung. This shit is important.” Taehyung disregards Hoseok’s complaint with a wave of his hand. Hoseok gasps offended. 

“We are almost done. We just need to make sure we’ve got everything.” J backs up Taehyung. They’ve been saying that for a good twenty minutes now. It’s really ridiculous. Both of them are not the type to be perfectionists. They are the type to just roll with it. Type to eat, drink, and then sleep. No hard stuff. But it seems they have much more to themselves. Are surprising everyone with how meticulously they’ve planned this trip. Everything is on spot. From this place to your food. You’ll give them credits for that. They deserve that. Only that it is getting tiresome now. 

“God, J,J, we’ll know if we’ve missed something. Let’s worry about that later.” Jungkook speaks behind you. His chin is placed on top of your head. Is using you as leverage. You agree with him wholeheartedly. And with Hoseok as well. You are hungry. 

“Yeah? Then what will happen if one of you idiots chopped off your fingers by mistake and we have no first aid kit here? Wait, do we have a first aid kit?” J turns to Taehyung. Both of them immediately rushing to check that. 

“Fuck, I thought Hobi was bad at planning.” Namjoon whines. 

“They are not bad at planning. They are too good. And that’s worse than being bad.” Yoona corrects her boyfriend. Taehyung and J are still rummaging through the bags. You slowly avert your gaze from them to your left. Stealing a glance at the man standing there with Jin. The man you’re in love with. He has changed into much more comfortable clothes now. Is talking with Jin but his eyes are undoubtedly on you. You have not seen Liya and Seoyoen around. Probably still at the bathhouse. Good. You have time to stare at Jimin then. He gives you a soft smile once he notices you’re glancing. You reciprocate it hesitantly. 

You’ve sworn to yourself that you’ll not be a bitch to Jimin about this situation. No. It’s not his fault. Liya does what she wants. She’s completely allowed to be here. But apparently it’s really hard not to be a bitch when you are jealous. You can’t help but think through your time ahead on this trip. Jimin and Liya would be sharing a tent together. So what? They share a house together everyday. They share a bed. They share food. They share a life. That realization makes you even more jealous. 

God this is pure torture….

Still it’s not Jimin’s fault. It’s no one’s fault. You have to go through this.

You get distracted from his soft gaze and smile when you catch the sight of two friends who are coming toward you through your peripherals. You immediately turn your head away from Jimin. Paying your attention back to J and Taehyung. Just as you do they both straighten up like bolt of lightning. Abandoning their search for whatever they are looking for this time.

“Fuck!” J yells. Taehyung turns to all of you with his hands placed on his hips. Dismayed. As if he’s just discovered one of you ate his favourite cupcake. 

“What? What happened? Who died?” J’s shout makes the peacefully sleeping Yoongi sits up abruptly. His eyes are droopy. He in fact, it seems was in dreamland. 

“We have no water!” J clarifies the reason for her sudden outburst just as Seoyeon and Liya join the circle. 

“What do you mean?” Seoyeon questions very confusedly. 

“We have no water, that’s what I mean.” J regards her with a look that clearly questions her intelligence level. 

“We heard that, J, but what do you mean we have no water? There’s a freaking river nearby.” Hoseok- very much startled like his cousin- points his finger where the said river is located at. 

“That’s probably not safe to drink.” Liya is the one who answers Hoseok. J agrees to her with a firm nod.

“And there’s no drinking water in the camp site. Unless you want to risk it and drink from the river.” Taehyung adds.  “Hell no!” Seoyeon scrunches up her face in distaste when Jungkook perks up. 

“It can be safe, though. People in the movies always do that shit.” Shares. And earn a unified chorus of disapproval. 

“Unfortunately, this is not a movie and I’ll not drink water from a river.” Liya levels Jungkook with a pointed look. You hear Jungkook scoff. “As if we would give a fuck.” Mumbles. 

“Okay, no one wants anyone to end up in a hospital so that’s a no.” J takes charge of the conversation again. 

“And what are we going to do about it? How did we even miss damn water? I mean it’s water.” Jin questions as he walks next to J and peers over the tablet on her hand. “Which idiot forgot to bring what they were assigned to.” He glances over whatever on the device with furrowed brows. For a minute. Then takes it in his hand. And at that Taehyung and J go weirdly quiet. Yoongi is the one who picks up on that firstly. An amused chuckle leaves him. 

“What’s going on?” Jimin joins the chaos for the first time. His voice makes you glance at him again. He isn’t looking at you this time, however. Full attention on his older friend who’s still scanning through the device. Before answering Jimin’s question, Jin throws a brief glance at J. She is just trying her best to avoid looking at anyone.

“That… it seems….wasn’t assigned to anyone.” Jin exhales as he gives the tablet back to J. 

“So much for being too good.” Hoseok teasingly muses. Making both J and Taehyung break into a ramble of thousands of excuses. 

“Yah, people make mistakes.”

“At least we didn’t promise you a weekend in a luxury cottage and then made you do the dishes.”

“Not fair blaming only us.”

“You should’ve checked the details too…”

“Okay, all right, shut it.” Jin interrupts their ranting with a groan. “This isn’t going to solve the problem. What are we going to do?”

“What else? Someone obviously has to go back and bring some water bottles.” Yoona shrugs. 

“Nope!”

“No way… I’m not gonna move a finger.”

“You gotta be kidding me!”

Like that the hell breaks again. Loud voices of disagreement flowing across the otherwise peaceful campsite. 

“They should go, they forgot it.” Jungkook grumbles from behind you. To which Jimin agrees with a beat of heart for your surprise. Jungkook and Jimin are a very weird duo.

“Yes. You are the ones who created the problem so you should be the ones to solve it. Leave us out of this.” Jimin points a finger right at Taehyung. The man in the receiving end leaves a horrendous gasp. 

“Yah! Yah!” Taehyung shouts. “I’m unfriending you from now on. You should take my side and defend me, moron.” Pouts hard that you really feel sorry for him.

“Yah!! What about the time then you ratted me out to Hyung an-“ Jimin starts with a loud whine. Only to get interrupted by Jin.

“Shut the fuck up you two.” He gives both men- who are acting like siblings more than friends- a death stare. Works like magic. Both go silent instantly. “And really Jimin-ah? Kook?” Gives a look to Jungkook as well. You turn around to find Jungkook in utter disbelief that he got called out too. “You gonna just blame like that and leave it to them? What kind of friends would do that?” Asks. “It’s not fair to do that.” Adds. Taehyung and J agree with him wholeheartedly. Jin apparently is back to being the eldest of the group it seems. Or not.

“You’re just saying that because you are whipped for that woman, Hyung.” Hoseok calls the buff out. A sneaky smirk on his face. Jin-like you’ve seen before- turns into red. His face is visibly burning.

“Tha-that’s not-“

“So what if he is? Jealous?” J, however, is thriving. Happiest she’s ever been. Hoseok scoffs at the answer for the question. Yet whatever he wanted to say to that never comes out when Jin takes the matters back into his hand.

“Enough! We are going to do this very fairly.” He orders with a strange glint in his eyes. Strange enough that it makes you squint your eyes in suspicion. He’s not up to any good. You know he isn’t. 

“Oh, c’mon, don’t tell me you’re gonna do that draw thing again!” Namjoon suddenly gasps.

See, you knew he wasn’t up to any good.

…………………..…

“My God, can we just act like adults? Can’t someone just volunteer and go buy the water bottles? It’s like a twenty minute drive. Why make so much of a fuss?” Liya groans from where she is sitting on the ground. Cross-legged. You think she is making a valid point. You people are being a little extra here. 

Everyone is sitting on the ground in a circle. A bowl filled with pieces of papers in the middle. As if you’re about to perform some kind of a ritual. And to add more to the part of being extra, everyone is looking like a bunch of cows who are about to be slaughtered.

“Then you should go and do it.” Hoseok answers Liya with a sneer. “Since you’re so matured.” Adds deliberately. His head tilting to the side a little. Liya gives him a look that clearly screams that she wasn’t talking to him.

“No one’s gonna volunteer Liya. Everyone is so immature. Let’s just get this over with already.” Jin butts in hastily. Saving- probably a heated argument between his friend and his other friend’s girlfriend. Reluctantly they both accept that and pay attention to the silly little thing you’re about to do. “Okay, so, we know it’s just a twenty minute drive and one person can totally handle it, but to be fair we will choose two.” Jin explains the rules- if you can call them that. 

“Or….” Jungkook drags. Is sitting next to you. “You just want to make two people suffer.” Comments, making Jin gasp. 

“I would never-” He starts. 

“Yes you would. We all know that. Just get ahead with this. I can eat the whole GrillGo, at this rate.” Yoona whines from next to her dear- very bored looking boyfriend. You’ve come to know that GrillGo is these peoples’ favourite place to eat junk foods. And you’ve come to love the place as well. Even the mention of the name makes your stomach growl. You can’t agree with Yoona more. Think it’s very fair that she kicks her leg as well. 

For a second, Jin looks like he’d argue. Then he shrugs. Admits. Drags the bowl toward him. “All right, here’s how this will go. Since these two almost planned everything-” Gestures at Taehyung and J. “Their names won’t be here. And-”

“Yah! How’s that fair?” Jimin almost throws a rock at Jin. His plump pretty lips agape in disbelief. Jin isn’t the one who answers him, however. It’s Taehyung who looks even more in disbelief. Or offended. Or a mix of both. 

“Yah! Why the hell can’t you just be happy for me.” 

“For fucks sake, guys, please!” Yoona falls into her back dramatically. Jimin mouths a ‘fuck you’ to Taehyung as Jin shoves the bowl into J’s hand. Not minding the comment Jimin had made. 

“A..nd-” Instead he starts again. “They’ll choose two names. Randomly, of course.” You expect everyone to protest and start mini protests but they look dejected. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Only Yoongi mumbles. 

And like that the game begins. J takes the bowl as if she’s presented with a kingdom, not just pieces of papers with her friends’ names on them. She gives the bowl a good shake. Tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth. Then pushes her hand inside, quite not picking up one right away. 

“Hurry the fuck up, woman.” Jungkook groans. J shoots him a death glare. But then finally picks up one. Unfolds it. “Oh, god please tell me it’s not me.” Jungkook interjects again. 

“Well, unfortunately it’s not you. Such a shame.” J rolls her eyes. “It’s Park Jimin.” She informs you as she shows the piece of paper to the rest of you. Everyone breaks into a loud chatter. Even someone starts clapping. Jungkook lets out a noise in satisfaction while Jimin does one in resignation. 

“Of course, it's me. Fuck my life!” Gets to his feet. Pats the dust off his clothes even though there are none visible. “I can go by myself. No need to make everyone suffer.” Adds thoughtfully. Such a sweet thing to say. You would’ve cooed at that in a different time. By the look of your friends’ faces you know everyone thinks the same. Or not. 

“Fuck you, you little prick!” Taehyung yells through the top of his lungs. Startling several of you. “I swear to god Jimin-ah, you and I fucking enemies from now on.” 

“Wha-what the… what the fuck? What did I do this time?” Jimin takes a step back. Eyes wide. Looks innocently clueless. 

“What did you do?” Taehyung repeats. Shows him the bowl which is in his hands now. “You’re stealing my chance to choose a name.” Says as if it’s very obvious. Absolutely ridiculous. Jin was right. They are the most childish adults you’ve ever met. 

“Are you fucking seriou- you know what? Go ahead.” Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose. Frustrated. Taehyung pouts for a second before letting it go and going to fish for a second name. He does it more quickly than J. Unfolds a paper swiftly and stares at it while everyone expectantly looks at him. And you swear you see a quirk in his mouth before he manages to hide it. Then regards everyone with a look which he probably thinks is serious. Yet to you, he’s clearly amused. Excited. Is living his life. There’s a glint in his eyes. And so he fails miserably to hide the elation in his voice when he finally speaks. 

“It’s Li.” Just as the name leaves his mouth, everything falls silent. No loud chatter this time. No clappings or noises of satisfaction that they didn’t get picked. You feel hot suddenly. Feel the weight of the burning gazes on your skin. You know everyone is looking. Because, it is not okay for you to leave with Jimin considering the history you’ve shared. See now, your friends might have never confronted you about what happened. Might have never even brought the topic up and treated you differently. Still, it’s clear everyone knows what you did- what you’re still doing without their knowledge- was and is wrong. There’s no denying that. You don’t know why everybody decided to forgive you so easily.. It doesn’t matter in the end anyway. What matters is the fact that they’ve given you a second chance. The fact that they’ve not made a big deal and was even cool with the fact that you and Jimin were still close. 

This, though, would change that. Surely. Hanging out with Jimin on other times is something else. But, doing it in front of his girlfriend? What kind of a shameless, insensitive bitch would do that. 

Oh no!

You should protest immediately. And it becomes certain when a scoff breaks the silence, closely followed by Seoyeon’s voice. “Are you kidding me?” You guess that question is directed at Jin. You don’t hear whether anyone answered that question. Simply you pay no attention to that. Instead, you open your mouth to disagree with the decision. Before you can do so, however, Taehyung rushes to his feet. Storms toward you. Bends down and grabs your arm. And pulls you into your feet. All in the blink of an eye. 

“Move your lazy ass, Li. The faster you get this done, the faster we can actually enjoy this trip. Go on. Chop chop.” He turns you around. Toward Jimin, who’s looking at you with a dumbfounded expression. 

“No but-” You try again. Just to get cut off. 

“No buts. That was a fair game and you lost. Shoo now.” Taehyung starts pushing you forward. You keep your eyes on Jimin, not daring to look at anyone else. You know they are judging. Heavily. They should be. You know Seoyeon and Liya must be ready to burn you down with their intense gazes. 

You should really put up a fight. But you feel too awkward and uncomfortable to do that. Being in the spotlight is hard. Taehyung takes leverage in that. Keeps pushing you forward. Almost push you past Jimin. You still don’t dare to look at anyone. Your face is still burning.

They are judging. 

They are judging.

They are judging.

So, you just turn your head around to look at that one person, who will never judge you. Catch Jungkook’s wide eyes. He gives you a reassuring smile. 

You’re fine. 

You turn your head back again. This time toward the man who’s in front of you. His astonished expression has changed into something softer. Is waiting for you. Clearly doesn't give a fuck about what others think. He used to think about that a lot. Which is what made you fall into this pit in the first place. But then if he doesn’t care, then neither will you. 

If Jungkook will never judge you, then you won’t care about others doing so. 

If Jimin will wait for you, you’ll always walk up to him.

You’re fine. 

………………………….

Neither Jimin nor you say anything at all as you walk to his car. You keep the silence intact when he revs the engine and pulls the car into the dusty road. You still keep it that way even when five minutes of your twenty minute drive passes. And you almost become certain that would be the case for the remainder as well. At least, until you hear a soft sound escapes Jimin.

You turn your head to find a grin appearing on his lips. His whole face lights up with it. That’s when you realize that the sound you heard was a soft laugh. 

You don’t hesitate for a second before raising your hand and hitting his arm, with a horrendous gasp leaving your mouth. Jimin squeals first at your unexpected attack but then it soon turns into a full blown laughter.

Unbelievable!

“Yah!” You shout. “Don’t laugh, Park.” It does nothing but make him laugh harder.

“Wh- why not?” He manages in between his pretty giggles. Having a hard time concentrating on the road. 

“That’s so fucked up. Why are you even laughing?”

“Because this shit is funny, Spring Roll. Tae is my man after all. Can’t believe he just…” He trails off giving way to another laugh.

“Yes he’s a sneaky little shit, you know.”

“Who cares? It’s not like we did something wrong?”

“Haven’t we?”

At that Jimin’s laughter finally dies down. He regards you with a serious look now. “No we haven’t Lil. I don’t even know why Liya is here. But I know that she isn’t here to enjoy herself or to be with me. She’s just here to piss me off. She has something up her sleeve and I don’t like it. She isn’t innocent.” He throws a brief glance at your way. You stare at him expectantly. “She knows we’re- she and I- are not fine. She knows everything. And guess what? She’d still act like nothing wrong. Like she knows nothing. How could someone do that? She’s a woman on a mission, not a woman in love. I’m done with that shit so no, we’re not doing anything wrong.” Jimin accelerates the car with that.

Well, you still don't think it’s okay. Not really. But what’s the difference in the end? You did what you did. You do what you’re doing. Will anything ever change the fact that you’re in love with this man? The answer is simple. 

No.

You’re already painfully in love. 

…………………………

To regard Liya as a villain makes Jimin awfully guilty. Because she probably isn’t. But when he told you that she was a woman on a mission, he had told the truth. He’s still very much tangled up in this mess without a way out. Kim is a powerful opponent after all. It’s not that easy to flatten a mountain. Especially when he only has a spoon. But he will not just sit back and watch. Not anymore. He really is done. He made a mistake accepting their help in the first place. Choosing the easy way. 

So what? People can’t make mistakes? Jimin can’t make mistakes? He can and he should be having a chance to make up for them. 

He’s been under this pressure ever since the day he promised you that he’s going to find a way. And your little incident hasn’t helped him either. There’s a lot going on. He really needed an escape. Just for a day. And you both know his type of escape isn’t a camping trip. No. His escape is you. But then it had to be ruined like that. Like this. So, sue him for being happy when he gets the chance to be with you. Blame him for being a shameless asshole. Who cares he said. And certainly he doesn’t. Not anymore.

He won’t tell you what exactly happened. Not because he wishes to keep things away from you but because he’s getting this insane urge to protect you lately. Cover you up in a bundle of blankets maybe. Get you into your Spring Roll state. Keep you in his arms and forget the world around you. Make you live in a bliss where nothing bad happens.

In reality though, he might not be able to do that. Yet he can just let you enjoy this trip. Even with the tension on your shoulders. With your unconscious pout whenever you see Liya or Seoyeon glaring at you. With your longing glances at him. He just wants to make sure you enjoy it.

So, he wouldn’t tell you that Liya has made an unannounced appearance in his office this morning. Just after that shitty meeting. All he wanted was to find a loophole in Kim’s life. What he got was the part he already knew. About the scandal surrounding Liya and her mom. About the woman who was abandoned by Kim so he could marry Liya’s mom. About a shitty past that should be buried for good. Which he all knew, not because he dug into Kim’s life but because Liya trusted him to confide in him. That’s not what Jimin wanted. No. If he brings Kim down that would be through something really bad he did. Not with this. Jimin might be an asshole but he isn’t a monster. 

Still he would do his best to win this battle. He’d no longer be the pawn. Which is what he exactly did when Liya stood there in front of his office room with a- very fake- pretty smile. Was apparently there to let him know about an interview. An interview he didn’t know about and was organized to announce their upcoming engagement. Jimin swears he just wanted to say that there won’t be any engagement. But no smart player reveals their hand in advance. So, he had opted into a simple ‘No’. Because he had other plans. Of course, Liya knew what that other plan was. And to Jimin’s surprise she hadn’t made any fuss. Just another smile. And a single line. 

‘Okay, I could use some fresh air too.’

That was it. Now she is here. And something feels very off. Jimin can feel it in his skin. A prickling sensation. Yet he won’t tell you about any of that. True both of your moods were ruined the moment Liya stepped out of her car- as much wrong as it sounds. But still, no need of making it even more awful to you. You won’t be that happy to be reminded of the engagement now, will you? Jimin doesn’t know what exactly sends you off. 

Are you that jealous? 

Maybe. Probably. 

And that makes Jimin’s heart beat faster. If you are jealous that means he’s that important to you. Just like he’s jealous of Jungkook because you are that important to him. 

He glances over at you for the hundredth time. You are finally loosening up. That scowl leaving your beautiful face. And are finally starting to give in to that smile Jimin oh so adores. There’s no way he’d ruin that. He wants you to keep smiling. Without a care in the world. 

Because you are that important to him. 

He wants to keep you away from all the hardships and all the blames. Want to take your side when other’s point their fingers at you. Want to make it easy for you. Just like Jin does with J. 

You’re just saying that because you are whipped for that woman, Hyung.

Hoseok had said. They all know it is true. Even though Jin hasn’t mentioned anything explicitly, they know he’s whipped. And if Jimin wants to do the same for you……

He wanders his eyes over you once again. This time he gets caught, however. You frown at him. In a playful way. Then smile. 

Fuck, he is so whipped for you!

……………………

You unbuckle the seat belt. You’ve reached a supermarket in a small city. Market itself isn't that big but you are positive it’ll have enough water bottles for a couple people. Or twelve people. You place your hand on the door handle, ready to open the door. To get your business done faster. People back at the campsite won’t be happy when you spend a half a day on a task that only takes an hour. Yet before you can, Jimin stops you. 

“Lil.” He calls, making you halt your movement and turn to him. Questioning him with a raise of your eyebrow. He doesn’t answer your non-asked question. Instead another smug smile plays across his pink lips as he reaches for the back seat. That’s only when you realize there’s a bag there. How come you’ve not noticed that? Well, it’s very possible because you were so engrossed in the glint in Jimin’s eyes throughout the whole ride. With a bit of a struggle he grabs the bag then sits back on the seat properly. Hands it over to you. You whine loudly in complaint. 

“A gift? Again? Why woul-”

“You haven’t even seen what it is. Stop freaking complaining.” Jimin cuts you out. 

“It doesn’t matter what it is. It’s still a gift and there’s no reason for you to buy me gifts out of nowhere.”

“Will you please just see what it is first?”

“But this is-”

“Spring Roll!” That’s a stern way to say a name that is used as a nickname. You blink at his face dumbfounded. “Please, see what it is.” He pleads softly. Stark contrasts to the way he called you a second ago. 

Well, him bringing you gifts make you more guilty than fucking him or being in love with him. It makes you feel dirty. Like a whore. Like a cheap person. He knows it too. But Jimin doesn’t care. He’s been bringing something with him everytime he visits you lately. No matter how much you complain, he doesn’t listen. 

You bet this is a piece of jewellery. That’s what he’s best at giving. You already have a box which started to fill out slowly back in your home. What are you going to do with so many earrings? Especially with ones too expensive you can’t wear them to a frat party or a free drink friday at a club. You huff in annoyance peeking inside the bag and finding a box which is undoubtedly too big for a pair of earrings. Then it must be a necklace. You bring the box out. Throw a sneaky glance at Jimin. He has that amused glint in his eyes. 

Weird!

You skeptically pull the carefully placed lid up. Knowing well that there’s something going on. And just as you open the lid your suspicions become true. You are most definitely not staring at a necklace. Or any kind or jewellery for that matter. Instead, you’re looking at a purple device. Curved. Slim. Tiny. Two heads at either side. And there’s a tiny remote beside it as well. You stay staring at the purple thing for an extra minute or two. Then you notice the tiny button on one of the two bulbous heads with a tiny ‘power’ carved under it. And you know exactly what it is. Because of course you do. 

A vibrator!

A freaking vibrator!

You feel your face go red. Cheeks burning up. The AC of the car does nothing to cool you down as you snap your head toward a grinning Jimin. He is elated. 

“Like it?” Even questions as if he just gifted you flowers.

“Oh my god Jimin… you got to be-” You throw your head up. “Seriously?”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Jimin’s eyes go wide. Yet that grin never leaves his face. 

“Are you seriously gifting me a fucking vibrator?” You lean forward, closer to him for more emphasis. He just shrugs. 

“Yes, and?”

You hide your face behind your palms. Partially because you’re frustrated but more because you’re embarrassed. Jimin apparently doesn't like that. He removes your hands gently. “Are you blushing, woman?” Tries to peek at your eyes when you turn your face away. He holds your hands tight. 

“No, but why would you gift me a vibrator?” You groan, giving up trying to avoid his eyes and looking straight at him. 

“You know why, Love. That’s not even a question.” Jimin rolls his eyes. But you almost don’t notice it. Your heart skips a beat. Just as how it always does. Jimin needs to cut some slack for your poor heart. He needs to stop using that pet name. Gives your poor heart hope that he means it. He probably isn't and you know that. That must be just a gentleman thing. He never did that before, though. There comes that question again. 

Why?

You don’t get to dig too deep inside your thoughts, however. Jimin grabs your attention by yanking you forward. Brings his face closer to you. Close enough to share a single breath with you. “I brought you a vibrator so I can play with you.” Murmur in such a low voice a shiver runs down your spine. “You know I love to play.” Places a soft kiss on your lips. This time he makes your breath hitch. Now you’re burning up for a whole nother reason. You gulp harshly, heart already starting to beat violently against your rib cage. 

“Yeah?” You manage to question nonetheless. Jimin nods. With his- now filled with lust- eyes boring into yours. “And you had no better time to give me this? You thought giving me this while we are on a camping trip with all our friends and making me incredibly horny but not being unable to do anything about it is a good idea?” You whisper against his lips. 

“Oh we can definitely do something, baby. And yes this is the perfect time to gift you this because that’s exactly how I planned it.” He lets your hands go. Cups your face instead. Brushes his thumb over your bottom lip. You gasp softly. “You promised some sneaking outs and risky fucks baby. Stay true to your words.” Blows to your lips, making you tremble visibly. Yet you gape at him with wide eyes. This guy can’t be serious, now. 

“B-but now Liy-”

“We are alone now, aren’t we?” He places another kiss at the corner of your mouth. And you nearly moan. Jimin keeps his inviting gaze on you. “What do you say? Wanna do this now?” Rubs his thumb over your cheek. You lean into his touch. Close your eyes to gain some strength. Why would you be so weak around Jimin all the damn time? Well, it’s because he is Jimin. You open your eyes back with a sigh of resignation. Nod. “Words baby.” Jimin grumbles. 

“Y-yes.” So you hastily stutter.

“You sure?”

“Yes, Park.”

“Alright then. Put that on.” Jimin withdraws from your close space. Giving you the space you need to do as he asked. You, however, just stupidly stare at him for a second time. “What?” Jimin gives you a look of disapproval. You know what that means. He’s into this fully and is already playing. And it gets you dripping when he plays. You gulp harshly.

“Are-aren’t we gonna go and get the water first?” You look behind you at the supermarket. Voice breaking up with nervousness. 

“We are.” Jimin answers rather steadily for your likings. Oh you know what he is implying. This guy can’t be serious at all. Yet despite your inner nervous self you can’t help it but squeeze your thighs together, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Jimin. His lust filled eyes grow even darker. You have an exhibitionist inside you and this is time you should accept that. 

“And you’re gonna make me wear this inside the store?” You glance at the purple thing. Sitting prettily in its velvet box. You wonder if this is expensive.

“Yes.” Jimin answers rather impatiently this time.

“And are you gonna make me uh… cu..”

“Hell yes baby that's the whole point. You gonna be my little slut and cum-“ Jimin brings his face closer to you again. Nuzzling his nose in your cheek. “Only if you want to though. If you’re not hundred percent down, then we don’t have to do it. But if you want to, you know you can trust me.” Places his palm over your thigh to give it a squeeze. 

You tremble once again. Feel that familiar fire inside your stomach, making your core pulse. You both know what your decision is going to be. You trust him. Of course, you trust him more than you should. There’s no way you would say no. 

“Fuck!” You exclaim. Giving in entirely.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, I mean fuck, Jimin, you’re so crazy.”

“So what’s new? C’mon put that thing on.” He commands again but doesn’t wait as he takes the vibrator in his hand. “C’mon.” Urges you to take your shorts off. Is he going to put that in you? You feel another powerful twist inside your guts. A tight clench of your hole around nothing. With a simple nod you bring your already shaky hands to unbutton your pants. Quickly as you can. Then after another glance at Jimin for reassurance you pull the piece of garment down. Down, down, and down until you take it in your hands. Together with your panties. “That’s a good girl. Open up now.” Jimin keeps guiding you, disregarding the small whimpers you are letting out. You bring your feets up on the seat. 

Car park of the supermarket is pretty lonely save for a few other vehicles here and there. And Jimin had parked the car in a corner. Not secluded but away from other vehicles. You suspect that’s a deliberate move. In the end, it’s not as anyone would witness you. So you spread your legs. Slowly but surely. Putting yourself on the view for him. Like a pretty gift. 

“Fuck, baby.” Jimin groans. Puts his hand between your legs. Just a barely there touch on your clit that gets you squirming on the seat. “We need you nice and wet.” He says before taking his hand away, just to put two fingers inside his mouth. You watch in awe at the way he coats those two fingers in his saliva. You are wet to be honest but you’ll let Jimin do whatever he wants with you. You say nothing but mewl when he places those two fingers which are now covered with his spit on your already throbbing clit. 

“Ahh… Ji-Jimin…” You buck your hips up. Forward. Into his fingers. Burning up with a new desire. This will never get old. This feeling. The sensation. This fire. It will never die down. It will never get boring. Not with Jimin. He knows you too damn well. Starts rubbing slow but tender circles on your sensitive nub while shifting his gaze between your pussy and your twisted face. 

“Yes, princess. Drip, hm? Drip for me.” Mumbles sin in your ear. And you listen. Or your body does. You in fact start dripping within mere seconds of his wet fingers playing with you. Just like he wanted. Nice and wet. Jimin stops his ministrations once he’s satisfied with his works. Drags his fingers up and down your slit to spread the wetness across. Hums in approval. “Gonna put this thing on you, okay, love?” Asks you softly as he presses that power button. Nothing happens. You don’t know how it works. Never owned a toy before after all. Yet you nod in agreement anyway. Jimin brings the vibrator closer to your throbbing core and you have to clench your teeth so hard to stop panting like a bull. You can’t be this affected when this hasn’t even started yet.

How pathetic?

But all your attempts come in vain when one of the cool, tiny, bulbous heads of the toy touches your clit. You reel. Already wanting more and more. And Jimin gives you exactly that. He wastes no time in starting to press the other end of the vibrator inside your hole. You moan aloud. It’s not big enough. It’s too tiny to be precise. You don’t feel full at all. Yet just as Jimin gets the little remote in his hand and presses a button everything makes sense to you. 

Oh that’s how it works.

You may not own a vibrator but you certainly have seen enough to know how they look and work. This, though, is something you’ve never seen. It starts vibrating your clit and insides ever so slowly. You know that’s the slowest setting but your breath tangles in your throat. The dual simulation makes your eyes roll. This thing is good. You feel vibrations after vibrations going through your entire body. Gush after new gush of arousals seeping out of you. You clutch the seat for some kind of control as the little toy creates wonders on your clit. 

“Oh fuck, Jimin…” You moan desperately. Humping the air and needing more. It’s good but certainly not enough.

“Yeah? You like it?” Jimin mutters in your ear, followed by a kiss. You only nod. Drowning in numbing pleasure. Your brain is turning into a mush. This wouldn’t have been this good if you were alone, however. You know what makes it this good is the man who’s holding the remote. His intense stare and his presence. And you want him to give you more. Instead of that Jimin turns the vibrator off the next second, reducing you into a whiny brat. “No… not yet baby.” He picks up your discarded clothes. “Can’t have you coming too soon. We have to buy some water after all.” His voice oozes mischievousness as he guides you to put your legs back down.

The toy is still securely attached to your cunt. Residues of what happened are still going through your body. 

You shiver once again before you finally take a deep breath. Ground yourself to put your clothes back on and get out of the car.

Knowing very well that it’s just the beginning.

……………………

Your original purpose was to buy enough water for you. Such a simple task. But it’s the hardest you’ve ever done. You were distracted the moment you entered the supermarket. Not by any other snack or drink. No. Nothing piques your interest at this moment. Nothing despite the vibrations on your cunt. Again. Even before you figured out where you should look for bottled water Jimin had begun his favorite game. 

You snap your head toward Jimin as he presses the remote for a third time now. 

You are standing in the noodle aisle. For no specific reason other than walking around trying to find what you are looking for. Unfortunately for you, you weren't able to find it until Jimin turns on the vibrator again.

“Jimin.” You hiss. Trying hard not to squeeze your thighs or bend down.

“What?” Jimin nonchalantly asks as he takes a packet of noodles in his hand after pocketing the remote. You’re at a higher level of intensity now. Not the highest setting but now it’s enough to make you seethe. You look around hastily. You agreed to this. Yes. But now you’re really inside and doing it for real, you feel mortified. There’s couple people inside. Wandering around. There must be cameras. What if you get caught?

“Maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe let’s–” You start only to get cut off with a mewl you, yourself let out when the vibrations intensifies. This time you actually do bend down. Gasping. Crossing your legs. Jimin clicks his tongue. 

“You can’t change your mind like that baby. You need to stick to a decision.” His words almost don’t reach your pleasure induced mind when he grabs your arm and straightens you up. “Hm?” Looks at you expectantly for an answer. You don’t even know what he’s talking about. Only whimpering at the tingles between your legs, which makes you forget about the world. “You wanna stop, Lil? You can’t stick to one word?” Jimin asks you again in a dangerously low voice. Feels threatening. Taunting. Adds more fuel to your fire. Yet despite his words you can see that genuine concern in his eyes. 

It’s not fair he makes you decide things when you can’t focus. You are partially worried that someone might actually catch you. The pleasure, however, is getting unbearable. Your whole body trembles with the vibrations on your cunt. You can’t see things properly. Don’t even realize that you’ve shaken your head. At least not until Jimin turns off the vibrator again. Edging you for the third time in that hour. You bite into the inside of your cheek to control the helpless cry which is about to leave your mouth. Hold on to Jimin for your dear life since you can’t trust your legs. “Good baby?” Jimin this time asks without that teasing tilt in his voice. Cups your cheek affectionately. You look up at him. 

“Yes- yes I mean..” You pant breathlessly. “Holy fuck stop edging me..” Almost hit his arm. Yet he catches your hand swiftly. Pulls you closer to him. Jimin’s eyes go back to glint in amusement. That smug look reappearing. 

“Yeah? No edgings? Want to cum here then? While there are other people around? Want to be my little slut and cum in front of everyone?” Whispers. And you exhale shakily. 

“Jimin…”

“C’mon, then. Let’s buy those damn water bottles first.” He withdraws from you just to start walking away through the aisles. Dragging you with him. You try to protest which comes fruitful as he effortlessly makes you move with him. Still hot and bothered. Core still throbbing. Trying your best to walk normally with the toy rubbing against your clit with every step you take. 

Jimin walks over a few more aisles with his fingers entangled with yours. Here and there. Without interrupting your journey by making you suffer. Until he finally stops in front of the aisle where the products you’ve been looking at are. Then he turns to you. 

“How much do you think we’ll need?” Questions ever so normally. As if he hasn’t put a vibrator inside your panties and doesn’t have the remote to it in his hand. You gape at his awfully beautiful face. “Lil?” He urges you when you don’t answer him. 

“Seriously?” You take a couple steps forward to stand side to side with him. 

“Hm?”

“Are we just- are you?”

Jimin just raises his brow. Smug. Too cocky. You want to wipe that smug look off his face. It’s unbelievable he’s affecting you this much. You love him, of course. But why the hell are you not in any control? Why would you always-

“Oh, you wanted to cum, yes?” Jimin disrupts your trail of thoughts. First by his voice. Then before you can reply to him, with a gentle vibration in your pussy. You close your eyes shut. 

Here you go again!

That wasn’t exactly what you wanted to question. Honestly, you don’t even know what you wanted to ask. Were just baffled at how unaffected he is acting. Now, you’re getting distracted. Yet again. The toy massages your throbbing clit and your inner walls, just perfectly. Gentle. Like a soft caress. Just for a few seconds because in the next, it’s no longer a gentle caress but a deliberate touch. Firm. Jimin has turned up the speed. You open your eyes to find him looking at you attentively. Stares right into your eyes. Turns the speed another notch up. Then another. And another. One by one. Into the highest setting. 

“Oh, please..” A plea leaves your mouth. You really don’t know what you want. Why are you begging? Is that the need to cum? Or do you want Jimin to stop and take you somewhere else? Whatever it is, you don’t get to sort it out when Jimin steps behind you. Arms wrapping around your figure that is slowly starting to shake. He hugs you tightly. As if he’s trying to prevent that tremble. 

“You asked me to stop edging you baby.” He mumbles as he places his chin on your shoulder. “I’m doing just that. Giving what you want. You wanted to cum, so, go on princess. Cum. Cum hard for me. Let’s drench your panties.” He holds you even tighter. You are gasping for air. It feels too hot. Too good. Jimin’s words are making it even better. You squeeze your thighs together as tight as you can. Trying to control the sensation that is going through you. Your mind is completely splitted between the pleasure and fear of someone catching you. Only you though. Jimin doesn’t even seem to be phased at the idea of getting caught. “C’mon, let go.” He drags one hand upward to your breasts. Doesn’t touch it though. Just hoevers it under your boob. Teasingly. 

“Jimin, we- we can't… what if-”

He shushes you softly. Steals a kiss onto your neck. “Just trust me. Let go. I’m not stopping until you cum.” Steals another kiss. “Fuck, you look so hot baby.” Another sneaky kiss. You doubt you look any hot right now, however. You are just trying to control your facial expression so even if someone walks in they won’t suspect anything right away. Even if you’ll be on a camera, it won’t look like you’re milliseconds away from falling apart. You’re failing at that miserably. Vibrations on your clit are too powerful for you to do that. All you are able to do is clutch Jimin’s arm tightly and focus on staying up right. Even that is becoming impossible now. You are reaching that high so fast. Every vibration makes your mind hazy and that knot inside your tummy gets tight. Tight and tight. Then out of nowhere it snaps.  

You let out a tangled cry as your legs buckle. Jimin holds you tight without letting you fall down. You give up trying to control anything. Your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. Whole body trembling. You fall back into Jimin’s firm body completely. 

“Yes. Like that. Fucking hell baby. Shit! Just like that.” Jimin curses low. Gritting his teeth. His grip is so tight on you that you fear he’d break you. “Cum hard for me. You’re such a good slut, you know. My pretty slut.” Rubs soothing circles into your tummy. Aiding you in riding your high. Keeps rubbing until it finally starts to die down. Slowly. Allowing you to see things clearly again. Making you wince in overstimulation since the toy is still working. Jimin picks up your signs of discomfort right away as he switches off it immediately. Yet keeps holding you close. “Are you okay, love?” Inquires gently. You barely nod in response as you take a lungful of breath. Your tenses up body relaxing after the intense orgasm. Or just starting to relax which turns into a complete opposite when you hear the sudden footsteps. Rushed. You almost jump away from Jimin in panic. Looking around you hopelessly to find a place to hide. You might have came already and the vibrator is off now but you’re certain anyone would notice your fucked up appearance. 

Jimin, however, doesn’t let you take a step away from him. Instead he turns you around to face him. Pulls you back into his chest. You can feel how fast his own heart is beating. This time his arms don’t wrap around you so tightly. It’s gentle. Like a normal hug. You freeze. He pats your back. 

“Oh my, you’re freaking cute, Lil.” Kisses the top of your head. You freeze. Heart pumping. He really needs to stop doing this. Nicknames. Compliments. Soothing hugs. It makes your heart hurt. Bleeding. He needs to stop making you fall for him even more. He does just that. With another gentle kiss. And you hear someone walking past you. And you indefinitely hear a soft coo. 

………………………….

You squirm in your seat, impatiently waiting for Jimin to finish up loading the insane amount of bottled water you just purchased, into the car. He takes more than enough time to finally get inside. After your embarrassing orgasm, he hasn’t started anything. Yet. But has promised you more with a dangerous tilt to his voice, just as that someone who came your way at the supermarket walked away. That time he wasn’t just saying it to make you suffer. He wasn’t trying to play anymore. He was aroused. To a point that it leaked through his voice. And it made that dying fire inside you lit up again. Made you want something more when you had a mind shattering orgasm. Now you are dying to have that more he promised to give you. 

You look at the man who just sat restlessly in the driving seat. He does the same. Eyes hooded and dark. 

“Please tell me you’ll fuck me now.” You burst out before you can process what you just said. Jimin’s eyes slightly go wide before he regains his composure. A slow curse leaving his mouth. He averts his gaze away from you to the outside. Scanning the area. At this rate, you actually don’t care about the place you are in. You just want Jimin to have you. You’re still buzzing from your previous orgasm. Still burning from the need for him. You just need more. More of Jimin. Not just orgasms. You need Jimin. “Please baby, need you.” So, you let him know. Jimin shudders. 

“Yeah? Are you fine if I-”

“Yes. Yes.” You don’t let him complete his sentence. Say a loud ‘fuck it’ in your head as you hastily unbutton your shorts for the second time in the day. Start pushing the clothing item past your hips when Jimin stops you. 

“Hey, hey! Are you sure, Lil? I know I said that it’s fine but I need you to be hundred percent sure, love. It’s day and there’s other vehicles around.” Jimin peers into your eyes. You on the other hand are already nodding madly. 

“I’m sure. Please. Just… god, I need you inside me right now, Jimin. I-”

“Fuck! Okay, get on my lap.” This time Jimin doesn’t let you complete your horny ramble. And he doesn’t have to say it twice. You get rid of your shorts in record time. Put your hand on the toy to get rid of it as well. Just to get your hand yanked away. “Keep it. Gonna fuck you with it.” Jimin clarifies his action briefly before pulling you into his lap. Shifts the seat back to give you more space. You moan at his words which soon turns into a squeal at the sudden movement. Jimin disregards that. Only pays attention to unbutton his own pants and free his hard cock. You know he’s been that way since the very moment he put the vibrator on you. It must damn hurt. Park Jimin is an amazing creature. That much control is truly amazing to you. There’s nothing to be surprised about, though. You’re used to it now. 

Jimin pumps his hard cock few times just as soon as he frees it from the tight confines of his pants and boxers. You keep your hips raised to make it easier for him. Watching the way he pumps his pretty cock. Squeezing the base. Making pre cum leak. You watch in awe. Breath hitching and ears roaring. Jimin doesn’t take much time. Put both of your misery to an end. “Sit, princess. Take me in.” Commands you while holding his throbbing length up for you. You nod in understanding as you align your entrance with his tip. Maybe the design of the vibrator makes more sense now. The reason why it’s tiny. You can take a dick in your vagina while it’s still inside and it won’t make it painful. You take him easily. You’ve been dripping a river after all. His bulbous head breaches inside your tight rim of muscles in one swift motion. Making you moan aloud. Making Jimin curse aloud. “Oh, fuck.. So wet baby. Holy fuck! you’re so wet.”

“God Jimin, you fe-feel so-so good.” 

Jimin nods as if he’s in a daze. “Yeah?” His nails dig into your thighs. “Yeah? Then take me all the way down slut. Go on. Keep going.” Hides his face in your neck. Kissing and sucking. No biting though. That would be awful to walk back with marks on you. You do as he asks. Take him all the way down. Until you’re fully seated on his lap. Until his hot cock is safely buried inside you to the brim. 

You halt in that position. Reveling in the feeling of Jimin inside you. Being so full. Feeling so full. Jimin gives you that minute to bask in the feeling as well. Then he pulls his face away from your neck. Throws his head into the headrest and keeps his eyes on you. Blindly search for the remote. Gives you little to no warning when he pushes that button. Instant vibrations start to massage your clit and your walls. This time though it’s not just you who feel it. 

“Fuck!!” You and Jimin both moan in unison. But what gets you shaking is the way Jimin says it. His reddened face. Mouth agape and panting. Oh so utterly fucked up. Losing it to you completely. It would never fail you to feel this intense pleasure, just by looking at the way Jimin is pleasured. It’s like clockwork. What gets you is what gets Jimin. Especially when he doesn’t let it show all the time. He’d be the one to play you. Get you pliant and control you and himself. But there are moments like this. Where he fails to control. Where he shows you that he wants to mound you. You love it. You love the feeling. There’s nothing like this feeling. It’s how it always was. Yet at this moment, you feel it ten times harder. Not just the fullness. Not just satiating your burning desire. No. There’s something else. It makes you want to have everything. You are so greedy for this man. That’s what makes you clench around him tightly. Making Jimin bucking his hips upward involuntarily. Trying to pull you down on his cock even more. 

“Holy fuck, Lil. Do-don’t squeeze that hard, baby. I’ll just cum right away.” He whines through clenched teeth. Oh he shouldn’t have said that to you. If anything his voice and words make you do it even harder. Not on purpose, no. You’re completely a goner. 

“So-sorry… Fuck, Jimin… I feel like I’m freaking… god…”

“I know. I know.” Jimin slaps your ass slightly. Then molds the soft flesh in his hands. Nods. Licks his lips. “Go on baby, ride me. Have what you want, yeah? Cum on my cock.” Lands another slap. You just give him a firm nod before finally raising your hips a bit, dragging his cock through your pulsating inner walls. Until only the tip is remaining inside. You take a second. Then drops down into his lap again. “Ah yes fuck..” Jimin gulps harshly. His moans are the sweetest melody to you. You want to keep hearing them. So, you do the exact same thing again. Quickly fall into a rhythm. Bouncing on his cock. Up, down, up, down. 

Despite his words, Jimin only gives you the control for only a couple of seconds, however. Before you know it, he’s plunging onto you from the bottom. All the while dragging you down as well. You let him. Allow him to use your body as he pleased. Just try your best to match his pace. 

Rest of the world doesn’t exist to you at this moment. It’s just pleasure and Jimin. The fact that you’re in a public car park doesn’t even reach the farthest corner of your head. Everything is a blur for you. Only thing that makes sense is Park Jimin. And the pleasure he’s giving you. 

“Jiminie…”

“Got you baby. Cum on me, hm? Please? Need you to cream my cock.” 

You hide your face in his neck. Drooling. Jimin picks up the pace. Reaching even deeper inside you. Hitting that spot. That paired with the vibrations are making you see stars. And that high is reaching you faster than you can comprehend. Especially when Jimin is pleading you to cum. “C’mon princess, cum for me, please..” He does it once. Then twice. Just as a third ‘please’ leaves his mouth, your body listens to him. You muffle your high pitched moan by biting into his shoulder as your whole body convulses. Thighs trembling. “Yes, yeah… fuck!!! Let go, love.. Like that, cum hard.” Jimin grunts. You do. Cum hard on his cock. Jimin doesn’t stop his thrusting as you do. Not even when your high starts to dissipate and is replaced with oversensitivity. Not even when you start to cry in complaint. 

“Ji-Jimin. Too-”

“Please, Lil.” All he does is whimper. This isn’t a angry fuck like the time he intentionaly made you cum in a raw just because he was posessive. No. He isn’t trying to torture you either. You know it. That voice of his is enough to let you know that much. “Shit! I can’t.. I’m close baby… so fucking close, take me, yeah? You can take me. Please..” Jimin holds you pressed against him as he continues to plunge into your quivering hole. Making inaudible gasps escape your mouth. 

Oh how you love it when he loses his control. Even if that makes you have to deal with the sensitivity of your cunt. It’s not a problem anyway. All it takes is a couple of thrusts for your pain to turn into a new pleasure. Another bubble of orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. 

“God, yes…. I- I..” You pull away from his shoulder to face him. Stutter on your words helplessly. Yet, Jimin understands you. 

“Yeah? You gonna take me like a good girl?” Jimin rests his forehead against you. Is panting hard. Breathless. You fall back into a rhythm of bouncing on his cock, matching his thrusts. 

“Yes. Yes. Yeah.. Jimin… fuck, need you to cum inside me.”

“I will, baby. Really gonna get you fucking pregnant. Gonna fuck you full of me.” Jimin brings one of his hands to your spent cunt. Presses on your clit over the vibrator. You fall into a state of delirium. Your brain is failing in finding a way to react to such intense pleasure. It’s all too much. There’s that feeling again. You can feel the way how air is charged with something else other than sex. Something is there. Something more. You’ll blame it on your feelings for Jimin. The case is, however, he is feeling it too. He’s not just fucking you for the sake of it. He can’t have enough. You can see it. Feel it. Taste it. He wants you. Just as much as you want him. 

Jimin wants you. 

The man you are in love with can’t get enough of you. 

He is losing himself in you. Your heartbeat is matching with him. You’re sharing one breath. Act as one. 

“Cum one more time for me, love.” He breathes out. And you swear what does the trick is that damn nickname. Or maybe the sensation of being wanted so much by Park Jimin. Whatever that is, you fall apart for a third time right at his cue. This time your ears are starting to ring and your vision is turning black. Not for long since Jimin follows you right behind. You have to force your eyes open and come to your senses so you won’t miss that mesmerising sight. His jaw clenched and eyebrows pulled together. Sweet moans which are dangerously close to your name leaving his mouth. His whole body tenses as you feel his length twitch painfully inside you before the hot ropes of cum paints your walls. 

“Oh fuck, fuck, fuck…” You blindly chase his lips to ground yourself. Jimin does the same. Just a messy kiss with lots of teeth and spit. Somewhere in that kiss Jimin manages to turn off the vibrator. He pulls away first, gasping for air. Both of your chests heaving up and down as if you’ve run a marathon. You try to control your breathing as Jimin peers into your eyes. His own laced with concern like how it’s always after every intense sex with him. But you think there’s something else too. 

There definitely is. 

………………………

Jimin stares at your eyes without blinking. He is just unable to look away. He can’t. You have him trapped inside you. Both physically and mentally. He can’t escape you. He doesn’t want to escape you. He feels free. Relaxed. Even with the struggle for breathing and trying to calm down, he feels relaxed. Cared for. He feels like he is home. 

Without even knowing what he is doing, he brings a shaky hand to wipe down your tear stained cheek. You sigh pleasantly. Your thighs are still trembling beside him. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this here. In a place where he can’t properly take care of you after he ruined you. What an asshole he is? His self loathing gets interrupted when you peck his lips quickly. Just as if you know he is blaming himself. Well, Jimin thinks most of the time you do know what he thinks. You are simply amazing. So, he returns a peck as well. Manages to crack up a smile from you. 

There’s nothing to be surprised about this anymore. Jimin feels that familiar warmth shoots across his body. The same feral urge to keep watching the way you smile, getting to him. Overwhelmingly so. Oh he prays to heaven that whatever you and he are doing here will work. It has to work. You and he have to find a way. He doesn’t want to go without seeing that smile.

Jimin gulps harshly. Heart beating in his throat. This time it has nothing to do with the sex. Even though his sloppy cock is still buried inside you and you are ever so gently torture him with occasional clenches. Still, that’s not the case for his heart to pump blood extra fast. There’s something else. There was something else. There was something else all the time. He doesn’t know since when, but this isn’t about sex anymore. Sex with you was always great. You have him wrapped around your pinky finger. Yet he felt like floating as he fucked you a few minutes ago. And that wasn’t all about the lust. It was uncontrollable how he wanted you when he had you all to himself. He wanted more, more, and more. To consume you whole. To be his. And here comes the problem. He wanted more of you but not just in a sexual sense. He wants more of you. Just you. 

Maybe just more date nights. He wants them to be normal. Not a sneaky date where you have to hide. Wants to be able to bring you gifts without making you feel like a cheap whore. Wants to make you feel like the beautiful woman you are. You deserve all the gifts in the world after all. He wants to walk back to his group of friends with his hands entangled with yours. With nobody there to judge it. With nobody there to point out why it’s wrong. He wants it to be right. Nothing wrong in being yours. Wants to be yours. Just like he wants you to be his. 

Like Jin and J. Like Namjoon and Yoona. 

He wants to be with you!

He exhales a shaky breath, eyes darting between yours. You are innocently staring back at him. No. Not just innocently. They sparkle. His starry night. And so do they speak. You are looking at him as if he is your whole world. 

No. This is not good….

Or it is good….

Jimin feels like he is about to explode. 

‘Then what? Do you love her?’ Taehyung had asked him once and he said no. Because that can’t be the case. Because all he does is care. But he cares too much. He always had. And you feel like home. His person. 

‘I don’t know if that feeling is love Jimin……….’ Taehyung’s voice echoes in his head. 

Love? What a strange word. How does love feel? Jimin thought he knew. He was once in love with Liya. That’s how he believed at least. The thing is, however, he never cared this much. He never wanted her this way. Not fair, yes. But it is what it is. Maybe he was in love  with her, in a different way. This? This is new. And if this feeling isn’t love, then what words can he use to describe it. 

Love. 

Holy fuck. 

He is in love. 

The reason why he is so scared is because he is in love. That unexplainable feeling he gets when it comes to you, has been love. 

He is really going to explode. It’s too much. He can’t keep this feeling bottled up inside. 

“Lil-” He breathes. Completely in a trance. He loves you. You hum in response. He doesn’t know what he should do. He probably should go back. Ask you to move away. Then think things through. “I think I love you.” His tongue slips even before his brain can catch up. And everything falls into a deafening silence. Only the distant voices of some people accompany the surroundings. Your eyes go wide. Just as his own do. In realization that he just said that aloud. Out of nowhere. Just like that, he made a confession. The panic arises in Jimin’s throat. You make it worsen when you start to shake your head. 

Denial?

Disbelief?

Rejection?

Jimin doesn’t get to figure that out as you start to quickly pull away from him. Scurrying away from his lap. As fast as you can. As if he burns you. 

“No Lil- Hey- I-I just-” He tries to stop you but it’s already too late. You’ve practically jumped into the passenger seat. Are pulling your pants up in a record time. Don’t even look at him. 

No. No. No….

What has he done? What kind of idiot is he? Who would just say something important like that, out of the blue. Saying it after sex while high with emotions must be normal for other people, yes, but not for you guys. You are not normal. You are in a forbidden relationship. And until now, it was just lust. Or it was supposed to be lust. Then he changes it like that in a heartbeat. Even without thinking of the possibility of what you might be feeling. 

You care about him a lot. You get jealous. You look at him with that look in your eyes. You smile at him like he’s the reason for that smile. You bicker with him like you are a married couple with two kids. Still, that doesn’t mean you are in love with him. And he’s an idiot who doesn't know when to shut his mouth. 

Jimin’s chest tightens painfully. An unexplainable weight heavy on his shoulders. 

You might not ever reciprocate his feelings!

He loves you!

Oh boy he does. Even though it took him more than enough time to just admit it, he does love you. He knows that for sure by how it hurts to think you’ll not love him in return. How else can he explain the pain? He is in love. 

But even before he can even figure things out and actually let you feel the way he feels, he ruined everything. Even before he started, he ended things. Now, what? What if you run away? Did he scare you away? No, he can’t afford that now. No, he needs to make things clear. He needs to-

You open the car door. 

“Lil-”

You get out.

“No baby, wait!” Jimin feels like his mouth is full of sand. Feels like an invisible hand is choking him to death. It never was this much of a struggle for him to get dressed. Fingers shaking. Almost trips over his own feet as he gets out as well, finally. “Lil, fuck, please.” Jimin hurries after you. Like he is in a dream. 

Damn, you are fast!

How did you even walk that long in a mere second. It’s a good thing that Jimin is fast as well. He reaches you with just a few long strides. Only one thing echoing inside his head. 

He won’t just let you walk away. He just needs a moment to explain. He just needs you. 

“Spring Roll!” Jimin grabs your shoulder to turn you around. You hiss slowly in annoyance as you are forcibly turned around. That fiery look back in your eyes. The thing is, however, the fire is dying down. Is getting replaced by a glossy look. “Lil,” Jimin swallows first to get rid of the sandy taste. 

“What?” You snap. Shake off his hand from your shoulder. 

“Fuck! Let me just-”

“Let you do what? Explain?”

“Yes… Listen, I didn’t mean to-”

A bitter chuckle escapes your lips. That doesn’t suit you. No. He wants you to giggle like a schoolgirl. Wants you to smile like a ray of sunshine. How did he manage to get you from exactly that to this. “Of course, you didn’t mean it Jimin.” You cross your hands across your chest. Another scoff. Shake off your head. “Course you don’t mean it.” Mutter more to yourself. 

“What? Lil?” Jimin furrows as he tries once again to touch you, just to get rejected. He has no idea what you’re talking about. 

“For fucks sake Park!” You let your arms fall limp beneath you. This time finally look at him properly. “You can’t just fucking play with me like that. You can’t just call me nicknames, bring me gifts, beg me to stay and all that shit. And you would just confess out of nowhere? And then say you don’t mean it? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Holy fuck! What are you even talking about?” This time Jimin doesn’t give a fuck about you trying to escape his touch. Maybe he does have an idea about where you are going. Well, fair!