*:ļ½„ļ¾ā§ ļ¾ zaiden.
š»šÆš¬ š«š°šŗš»šØšµšŖš¬ š©š¬š»š¾š¬š¬šµ š»šÆš¬š“ šš¬š¬š³šŗĀ almost Ā painful Ā , Ā every Ā nerve Ā & Ā fiber Ā coiled Ā tight Ā withinĀ the Ā vampireās Ā tall Ā frame Ā tensing Ā with Ā burning Ā desire Ā āā-Ā desire Ā to Ā come Ā closer Ā , Ā to Ā reach Ā out Ā to Ā the Ā other Ā , Ā to Ā fallĀ back Ā into Ā their Ā old Ā vices. Ā but Ā years Ā had Ā passed Ā since Ā then Ā and Ā timeĀ had Ā a Ā fickle Ā way Ā of Ā tearing Ā the Ā world Ā down Ā mercilessly Ā in Ā its Ā wake Ā ;Ā zaidenās Ā narrow Ā field Ā of Ā vision Ā had Ā proved Ā to Ā be Ā nothing Ā more Ā than Ā a Ā thinlyĀ veiled Ā shamĀ & Ā the Ā reality Ā of Ā his Ā existence Ā , Ā of Ā the Ā sins Ā his Ā hands Ā had Ā committedĀ , Ā began Ā to Ā eat Ā away Ā at Ā him. Ā he Ā had Ā nowhere Ā to Ā go Ā , Ā no Ā one Ā to Ā turn Ā to Ā āā- Ā andĀ the Ā irony Ā of Ā it Ā isnāt Ā lost Ā on Ā him. Ā how Ā in Ā his Ā time Ā to Ā need Ā , Ā of Ā desperation Ā , Ā the Ā onlyĀ one Ā he Ā could Ā think Ā of Ā was Ā the Ā man Ā that Ā had Ā broken Ā his Ā heart Ā far Ā more Ā than Ā damien Ā ever Ā had.
āĀ no Ā ,Ā ā Ā zaidenĀ finally Ā answersĀ honestly Ā , Ā voiceĀ low Ā & Ā heavy Ā with Ā exhaustionĀ as Ā blue Ā hues Ā drop Ā to Ā the Ā ground.Ā it Ā almost Ā hurts Ā him. Ā being Ā so Ā closeĀ to Ā dane Ā , Ā but Ā not Ā being Ā allowed Ā to Ā leanĀ into Ā him. Ā his Ā muscles Ā are Ā rigid Ā , Ā tense Ā &Ā tight Ā as Ā he Ā flexes Ā his Ā jaw Ā and Ā stares Ā down Ā atĀ wet Ā boots. Ā ā Ā can Ā i Ā āā- Ā come Ā in Ā ? Ā ā Ā he Ā feelsĀ pathetic Ā for Ā having Ā to Ā ask Ā , Ā but Ā zaiden Ā knows Ā almostĀ too Ā well Ā that Ā right Ā now Ā , Ā heās Ā little Ā more Ā than Ā a Ā stranger.Ā ā Ā dawnās Ā only Ā a Ā few Ā hours Ā away. Ā ā Ā heās Ā pleading Ā now Ā , Ā surelyĀ dane Ā can Ā hear Ā it Ā in Ā the Ā reservation Ā clouding Ā zaidenās Ā quiet Ā murmur.Ā ā Ā āā- Ā if Ā itās Ā possible. Ā you Ā donāt Ā have Ā to Ā say Ā yes. Ā ā
For some reason, there doesnāt seem to be any other answer that he can possibly give to his question aside fromĀ āyesā. The word gets caught on the tip of his tongue, lost somewhere near the back of his throat, and he has to take a moment or two to clear it out before he steps back from the doorway. Leaving plenty of room for Zade to slip in past him, he keeps an elegant hand presses along the frame of the door, head lowering justĀ so like he means to duck it in respect. Old habits die hard, and if nothing else, he isĀ his elder, so that means something to him even when most forms of respect fail to anymore. Itās hard to look at him and to not feel the weight of what heās done, of the years that have passed in between theĀ āthenā and theĀ ānowā of who they were and what theyāve done. Dane knows that itās his own fault, and he knows that he should acknowledge it in some way, but he simply canāt seem to bring the words to mind that will make up for the weeks and months and the years. The heartache and the heartbreak and the way that he canāt see him anymore without seeing that pain on his features.Ā
āYou can come in.ā Words spoken needlessly, perhaps, and on the tail end of an exhale --- he doesnāt particularly want to be out in the hallway while they doĀ whateverĀ it is that theyāre doing right now, and although he couldnāt tell without the question being asked, itās obvious that Zaiden needs the privacy, too.Ā āI know I donāt ave to say yes, and I think that you must know me well enough by now to know that I wouldnātĀ say it if I didnāt want to. Or at least you usedĀ to know me that well.ā Itās been a long time, and whoās to say really what heās forgotten and what heās remembered.
