I Don’t Know What To Put Here

You see, Shane loves the Pike kids, and he makes an effort to be a good “Uncle Shane” for them, but he knows he struggles to connect with them. He’s had enough nights watching the twins to know they can often find his company more annoying than fun. He follows the game rules too closely, doesn’t have a “creative enough” imagination, and when he says a half an hour on the tv he does actually means thirty minutes exactly (and can’t be bribed otherwise). So when Arthur got old enough to really have a personality aside from “baby” Shane is hopeful that maybe he’ll get along with a boy better.

And miraculously, he does! Kids have always kinda worried Shane, knowing he’s entirely responsible for their wellbeing but not always understanding what they need. It’s not like that with Arthur though, he almost immediately feels like they’re on the same page, speaking the same language, and something settles in Shane knowing he has a place in this extended family. There’s still things that Arthur does that stump Shane, like needing to copy sensation on to the opposite side of his body or preferring to hide in kitchen cabinets when there’s a loud noise, but he vaguely remembers growing out of similar things when he was younger, so really it’s just another point of connection for them. Overall they get along really well, having a nice time playing quietly within a defined set of rules while Ilya gleefully takes over whatever chaos the girls are getting up to in the backyard.

Shane feels like him and Arthur really get each other.

Which makes the current situation so much more upsetting. Arthur keeps pushing the shark up to Shane’s mouth, making him feel bad every time he has to gently push Arthur’s hand back, all while wracking his brain trying to figure out what’s happening. Even moreso, Shane can’t parse why he’s being so insistent on this, interrupting their play entirely. He feels like he’s really messing something up every time he refuses, though he can’t figure out what. He can tell the little man is getting more and more upset with every rejection, but he absolutely does not want some toddlers toy in his mouth. He tries to explain this, calmly, clearly, the way they usually communicate, but Arthur just yanks on Shane’s hoodie string hard, like that was all the explanation needed. It doesn’t clear anything up though and just earns a surprised yelp from Shane. When he looks back up Arthur seems seconds away from tears and instead of responding just runs off.

Shane knows it’s best to give him some space to settle before talking it over, so he instead goes about cleaning up the lego pieces they were organizing into colored piles. It’s about then that Jackie and Hayden return, and Shane fills them in, hoping they can take over the second half solving the situation (Shane is a little relieved it isn’t him doing the talking because he feels like he was the problem in the first place). They both smile, agreeing to take over while thanking Shane and Ilya for babysitting and waving them off. Shane feels like they’re taking this too lightly, but he just nods his farewell, trying to hide how absolutely dejected he feels.

Ilya holds his hand the whole way back, giving rhythmic squeezes instead of talking.

The next time they go over to the Pike’s a few days later, Shane feels sickeningly nervous. Hayden had called sometime after that last visit and said they figured out what the problem was, but was gonna have Arthur talk to him about it. Something about a teaching moment or whatever. Great for toddlers, apparently horrible for full grown adults with only a pinch less anxiety than what is needed for spontaneous combustion.

Opening the front door Shane thinks he might’ve actually crossed the threshold to start creating flames when it suddenly all washes away as little arms wrap around his legs before he even so much as makes it out of the entryway. When Shane looks down he can see soft little dark curls buried in between Shane’s knees. Shane smiles, reaching down to pet his hair and causing Arthur to pull back a bit, still clutching Shane’s pants with one hand while the other pushes a package grasped in a tiny fist up, still looking squarely at the floor. Shane squats slowly, taking the small box with both hands, asking if it is in deed for him. Arthur just nods.

Inside the box is a sealed container with a bright red silicone hockey stick threaded on a black cord. Shane stares for a second, feeling some of that previous anxiety rise up again as he’s not able to immediately understand, but figures he’ll start with what he knows and thanks him for the gift. Arthur’s still looking at the ground, though peeks up to catch Shane’s gaze, mumbling out something that sounds like he’s asking if he likes it. And Shane really doesn’t want to mess this up, but he also doesn’t want to lie, so he goes with the next best thing of just being honest and admitting he doesn’t really know what it is.

Surprisingly, Arthur lights up and starts explaining it’s something called chewelry and it’s very important to wear because it’s against the rules to chew on sleeves and collars and strings and Uncle Shane was gonna get in trouble chewing on his strings but daddy said you didn’t like sharks but I know you like hockey because you’re fast and you also like red like me so we got the red one that isn’t a shark but it’s a hockey stick — Arthur pauses, taking multiple deep breaths — and you wear it around your neck so you don’t lose it and also you don’t share it because of germs but you clean them with pasta water — Jackie mouths “boiling water” from where she’s standing behind him — and it makes the dentist not get mad at you.

Shane stares for a long second, trying to process the sudden onslaught of information, but before he can respond Jackie nudges Arthur’s shoulder and he goes back to looking at the floor, sway back and forth. “I’m sorry I tried to give you the shark when you don’t like sharks and pulled your strings and ran away. I love you.”

Shane feels stuck for a moment but then Ilya taps him on the back and that’s all he needs to push himself forward, pulling Arthur into a tight hug, continuing the swaying motion and returning the sentiment while trying not to cry. They finally leave the entryway when Shane promises to let Arthur teach him the best way to chew on his gift.

So that’s how Shane ends up wears his new necklace for the rest of the day, and then also every time they go to the Pike’s house, and on some weekends too, and maybe to practice sometime, and during movie nights and while reading contracts and on long trips and—

Scott Pilgrim

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Heated Rivalry