Blue Canary In The Outlet By The Lightswitch

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

Her just pouring the puree straight over the duck's head because she knows there's no getting that duck out of the cup is killing me

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

That was the correct thing to say.

idk man not to sound like a cartoon hippie but if your entirrrrre blog and dash is about how the world sucks and everyones bigoted i think you are going to give yorself brain worms

"ah but all of this is important and true and if i dont reblog all of this important stuff waga baga THE WORMS! THATS WORMS! THE BRAIN WORMS!

i do not think you are doing activism chief i think what you are doing is sitting in your room flagellating yourself expecting something to happen

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors