Monkey Chatter of the Mind

Everything I know about the assassination of Julius Caesar I learned from the Shakespeare play about it. Which is the historical equivalent of getting all my news updates from memes.

in the bible in revelations i think or somewhere, it warns you that near the end times, false prophets will pop up claiming to be the messiah. do you ever think scholars from like 700 years ago studying the bible would have thought this would be one of them

Item: Inappropriate Douglas

Gonzo, get on tumblr, girl, you have a home here.

What no one warned me about when I got into Discworld is that Terry Pratchett would completely ruin all my future footnote experiences. Now, whenever I read a book (even if it is an academic text!!) and see a superscripted number, my monkey brain makes my eyes drop to the bottom of the page asap, expecting a funny, poignant, memorable, and potentially life-altering little treat, and instead I get hit every time with the soul-crushing disappointment of McFarthy, G. et al. (1997)

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the magic ratio for ganache (a firm one, such as you would use to make truffles or enrobe a cake) is 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per one ounce of chocolate. Chop the chocolate (or use chips), then boil the cream, immediately pour it over the chocolate, and whisk until smooth. People get so impressed whenever I make ganache but it is literally so easy. When it's freshly made you can dip fruit or cookies in it or use it to fill doughnuts, and if you let it cool and harden somewhat you can roll spoonfuls into balls to make truffles or use it as a filling for sandwich cookies. Also if you're feeling gremlinous you can just eat it with a spoon.

Important addendum I discovered last year: the above is the magic ratio specifically if you are using dark chocolate (which I always was because it's my favorite). The process is the same, but for milk chocolate the ratio is 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per 1.5oz of chocolate and for white chocolate it's 1 tablespoon of heavy cream per 2oz of chocolate. This is because milk and white chocolate have less chocolate per chocolate so they behave differently. Now you know. Go forth and make delicious ganaches.

And add salt. At least half a teaspoon. Trust me.

rest in peace a league of their own (2022) you would have loved and deserved the same treatment the gay ice hockey show is getting

The masculine gaze is a man saying Daniel Craig has "let himself go" after seeing the new Knives Out film as if I wasn't admiring his Cuban heels and lovely three-piece suits and thinking to myself he looked better than he did in James Bond