Lea’s World

I am sorry. I was acting like an ass. Im sorry for being insensitive. I truly love y’all so much. I swear to god i be meaning well. I’m not the most structured when i start talking and that has been a blessing and curse. I’ve grown too comfortable with viewing my supporters as my bestie that I can freely vent to with no repercussions. I feel the need to protect people that I feel are genuinely good people. If you know me, you know I speak on what’s unjust in MY mind. But it doesn’t matter if ultimately my opinion is perceived as toxic and ignorant and harmful. I made it very clear who specifically I was talking about but Carry on with your misconstrued judgement of me. My heart is in the right place and I can only pray you’ll one day see that. I see what’s being said and I feel the pain of those I genuinely I hurt and I’m sorry. I realize I need to stfu and stay offline. It’s so mentally draining trying to do good and it comes out completely detrimental. I’m sorry for triggering people and I’m sorry if I caused any trauma. Im sorry for victim shaming, swear that wasn’t my intent. I repeat that WAS NOT my intent. I’m learning how to deal with my feelings in private like most people in music. You see there is no room for growth in this industry publicly it is best to find your way in private. To have healthy and productive  conversations in private. I shouldn’t be aimlessly figuring it out in front of y’all. I was speaking on a very sensitive topic and I failed to facilitate sensitively, intelligently and healthily. I impulsively spiraled cause I was sick of seeing the distasteful shade especially at such a terrible and sad time towards someone I know is good person. With that said I wasn’t trying to discredit other people and their truths and opinions. Also I don’t need black men to stick up for me in order to do what I know is right in my heart and that’s speak up if I feel people are being distasteful towards them. Same goes for black women especially! everything I do is for black girl magic, glory, unity and our greatness. I INNATELY love on my people and don’t need a specific reason to look out but ultimately I want to be better and do it better. I want to grow. I want to be a light. I want to be enlightened. I’m not out here trying to protect toxic individuals. That’s not what I believe i did. My opinion, though filled with disarray came from a place of love and empathy and sadness. But my delivery was harmful. I shouldn’t have disrespected anyone in trying to communicate my feelings. Honestly I should’ve just ate my food and booked a therapy session. I love you genuinely. I’m excited to leave social media for good. I’m excited for true self love, healing, understanding and peace. To all the people who checked me from a place of love, I love you forever and I hear you and I deeply empathize more than you’ll ever know. I would love to keep the conversation going in real life. Don’t want to move in this world hurting people. Thank you for your constructive criticism. Thanks for checking me. IG live it’s been a fun ride sweet angel baby cakes, but our mental peace is most important so I’m out <3

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.