Champagne Supernova

I've finally been reading The Perks of Being A Wallflower (not finished yet) and I find it interesting, perhaps it's better than the movie. I want to follow Charlie's writing style here but nah, just forget it.

If I'm not mistaken, I've written about my cousins before. My cousins and I gathered for the second time (I guess) because of my uncle's wedding. This time it was more exciting although we could only be together in three days. I've counted how many cousins that came around and there were eleven cousins in total. You know what, nothing's better than being with your family.

Not only cousins, but also your mom, dad and even your selfish-stubborn-mean brother. I hate and love them all. Haha, this is true. Yesterday we attended a kind of religious gathering, and how odd that my brother came with us too. I just wanted to laugh when we got to dance awkwardly and undeniably silly, what I wondered about was whether my bro did that too or not.

Probably, I seem quite too cold when I interact with my family. All the time. I don't know why, I can't just be like a sweet daughter. I have my own characteristic.

I've just realized that it's been seven years I go through my daily life. Is it normal that you're never satisfied of what you did and surely what you haven't done in your life? sigh.

I find myself always wondering and asking when is the right time for me, when is everything that I planned going to happen? It always appears to be sad like lying awake at almost 3 AM just sobbing like a stupid kid instead of trying to sleep.