My therapist suggested replacing âis there anything I can doâ with âwhat do you needâ when comforting someone as the first kind of assumes you as part of the equation in helping someone which isnât always helpful. It also kind of pressures the person suffering to kind of come up with something FOR you to do. Like I get so frustrated with that first question as a person who gets it a lot.
The second not only takes the pressure off but also might help the person really consider what their actual needs are like hey I havenât eaten, maybe thatâs a reason I feel crappy. It kinda takes the asker out of the immediate picture so the person struggling can focus on what they actually need, and then if you CAN help, you can offer it.
Weâll see if this works better!
