Lemons are better than buses

theres a petition going around. PLEASE sign it. this is HUGE

they have to repierce their ears every time they wearing earrings cause it heals when they take it out and the only way to pierce it is to bite it with vampire fangs

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

panic really does turn you into a complete fucking moron huh

Lost half my brain cells listening to Ballad of the Mona Lisa.

I have vastly misunderstood this post.

Honestly shoutout to The Social Network for giving us the line “you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole” because if that doesn’t epitomize women’s feelings for entitled male nerds I don’t know what does

MY FAVE

Of course in Aquarius season.

love when pets walk by like they have somewhere to be

So fun story, my oldest dog (Sagan) is very very attached to me, to the point where if you don’t watch him when I’m not around, he WILL go look for me. So one day the weather is nice at my office, so we prop a door open. I go to pee, and Sagan immediately is like “She’s been tooken I must go find her” and just quietly walks out the propped door to look for me. I get out, realize he’s not there, and jet down the street calling for him. People realize I’m obviously calling for a dog, and they’re like “Fluffy black dog? He was walking that way.” Apparently no one stopped him because he was just calmly walking down the street with like, purpose, and they didn’t want to interrupt him???? Sure enough he was sitting on the little patio off the Dunks a block away cause he knows this Bostonian bitch has a Dunks problem. But honestly you’d think he was meeting me there like we made this plan last week.

What was your opinion on the Jim Carrey grinch?

Jim Carrey Grinch said bitch, ate glass and threw a whole child in the garbage. He is an absolute champ and the only rightful heir to the throne.

I don’t know who this white boy is but I trust him

This is the second time Shaggy has shown up on my dash tonight and I’m not even mad