Scottie.

I don’t exactly like the way that you phrased your question, though I don’t believe that you did it in the way that I’m probably perceiving it. However… A lot of the answers you seek are probably subjective and situational.

For me though, to look at a punishment as being something terrible is really doing a disservice to the nature of discipline in the first place. A real dominant doesn’t punish their submissive out of a need to hurt them or do damage to them, but more for correction and education.

And what would be considered the worst to some may not be to others or it may be different according to the context in which the punishment is set to begin with. For instance, I’ve taken away energy drinks for a week from a submissive who was addicted to them… I’ve also whipped a submissive with a steel belted flogger until she bled… Which is the worse punishment?

It all depends on the nature of the context and situation and who is involved.

And not all “punishments” are really acceptable.

For instance… There are some people who actually believe that ignoring their submissive is some form of punishment when it’s actually an egregious form of abuse.

Think about the three or four year old that you have in your life… Perhaps it’s your child, your niece or nephew… Your best friend’s child… Would you take that child and lock them inside of a closet and leave them there with absolutely no contact, food, water etc. for three days or over a weekend?

Of course not… So then why would you do it to your submissive? Because the concepts of the dynamic are the same.

A person who punishes simply for committing the act of punishing or hurting the other person is an abuser and a scumbag.

Someone else might make their submissive do something that’s on their limits list or not allow them to use the SafeWord… This is also an incredible example of abuse. It absolutely eradicates the trust that they have in you, and it destroys the feeling of safety that they are seeking in you.

The moment that your action devalues the submission of the person who is allowing you to discipline them and be their dominant, is The moment that you have become an abuser and don’t deserve the mantle that has been placed on you by them.

Mistakes are good things because they allow us to learn. And likewise, punishment should be seen as something that is edifying, necessary, and substantial for growth.

It should never be something that induces fear, panic, or a loss of trust and value.

Everything with purpose… And that purpose should always be more for the submissive benefit than it is the dominant.

- Reblog if you feel it’s helped you or may help someone else.

- Search for the “beard bows and BDSM podcast” wherever you find great podcasts.

- Snapchat: Mistersbeard

- Mister