Ooh I need your lovin'

Polish ancestry (x); her father was born in north Poland (x)

parents got married in Kettering, UK in 1948 (x)

parents: Catherine Mary Tetzlaff née Gould, *1926 and †2020, and Edmund Anton Tetzlaff, *1913 and †1990 (x, x)

born on 11.02.1950 as Veronica Agnes Mary Tetzlaff

probably has dark eyes, maybe brown (deduced from pictures)

four siblings, 2 sisters and 2 brothers (x, x), so she's probably a middle child

grew up in Sheffield in a harsh working-class region in a fairly poor family (x)

her father was a steel worker (see marriage certificate), her mother was probably a stay-at-home mother (deduced by the number of children and period of time)

parents were devout Carmelites; children were most likely raised religious/catholic (x)

“She’s a very normal, very quiet, devout Catholic. She didn’t wear any make-up and wore fairly plain clothes. She wasn’t into the glamorous life at all.” (Ruth Bullen)

interested in art, literature and schooling children (see below)

has a keen sense of art and enjoys both painting and drawing (x)

moved to Hammersmith, London, presumably around 1968, for her studies (x)

studied to be a teacher in an all-woman class (x) of Maria Assumpta Teacher Training College until around 1971 (x) and probably already worked as teacher during the last year (deduced from the quote below)

after finishing, she worked as a nanny (x) and/or as primary school teacher (see quote from Hood below)

"During this period, I also met my current wife. Veronica was just out of college and teaching young children. Boy, we were different. Veronica was drawn to the arts, and loved poetry and paintings, whereas I was the stereotypical scientist." (John Deacon, 1986 in a German magazine, translated by me)

met John Deacon in a disco on 26.03.1971 (x, As It Began, x) and started dating him (x)

kept on working as teacher at a primary school in London (see below, x)

fell pregnant with their first child while still being unmarried (deduced by the dates)

"All I knew that my first teacher, Miss Tetzlaff was leaving to get married. As a young child, I was devastated but sadly accepted that." (Kevid Hood on fanpop.com, x, x.)

married in Carmelite church in London on Kensington Church Street on 18.01.1975 during a very long wedding service (x, As It Began)

her bridesmaid was a woman named Christina Bolten (see marriage certificate)

took the surname Deacon (she's usually mentioned as Veronica Deacon, not Veronica Tetzlaff, e.g. in "Mercury And Me", and apparently Cameron once mentioned it in a stream)

their wedding reception was held at her flat (x)

moved in with her newlywed husband into his bedsit flat (x - surely John didn't live in the flat alone with the baby, and it makes sense she'd move in right after the wedding too)

gave birth to their first son Robert John Deacon on 18.07.1975, whom they gave the nickname "frog" (x, x)

the song "You're My Best Friend", published as single on 18.06.1976, was written, at least partly, for her (x, x)

moved from their bedsit flat into the whole house (x), which was the reason why John had initially asked for an advance payment from Trident for (see "Queen: The Early Years", x), in April 1976 (x)

was gifted a small car by her husband early in their marriage (see below)

[About the gifted car] "She was thrilled to bits with it. A lot would have bought something top of the range, but she did not come from money and was just happy to have a car.” (Ruth Bullen)

joined her husband regularly on tours with their children, from the mid/late 70s (deduced due to her work and Queen in 3-D), until their eldest child had to go to school, so Veronica probably stayed home then as well (x)

according to John, she was friends, or at least got along, with the other Queen wives/girlfriends, Chrissie, Dominique, and Mary (x)

“I´ve heard that it´s just like this also in Japan. We got lots of fan letters from Japan. They were not only special but also warm-hearted, using every device. Japanese fans are wonderful.” (Veronica, 1976, attending an Aerosmith party with her husband, translated, x.)

described as “refined lady with a pure heart like a girl” (Reporter at the Aerosmith party in 1976, same source as above)

might´ve been rushed to a hospital overseas while on tour for one birth, apparently in 1978, but the German newspaper got other parts of the story wrong, so it´s not very reliable (x)

gave birth to Michael William Deacon on 03.02.1978, who played in his own band for a while (x)

gave birth to Laura Christina Deacon on 25.06.1979, who's an artist/painter (x)

Veronica might've decided on the name Laura and John decided the second name, as he once said he liked the name Christine (x)

was the reason her children, or at least Robert, went to a catholic kindergarten (x)

joined her husband with their kids on the South America part of the The Game tour, starting on 28.02.1981 (x)

probably influenced that their children went to a catholic school (x)

went with her family to their Los Angeles house for Easter 1983 (x)

gave birth to Joshua Luke Deacon on 13.12.1983 who, according to John in 1998, was the keenest computer player in the Deacon family (x)

“It took her a few years to realise she could have practically anything she wanted. It was ages before she got a nanny to help with the children.” (Ruth Bullen) 

was upset and/or sad that her famous husband could hardly be a normal dad to their children (see "Queen: The Early Years")

they likely had serious troubles in their marriage in the mid-80s, particularly during Queen's time in Munich and the Magic Tour (x)

"Veronica said when he came back off a tour he couldn't revert to being a normal person, playing with the kids, taking them to the park and things. She said it was non-stop [...]" (Ruth Bullen)

joined her husband in Tokyo, Japan for a one-week vacation starting on 30.05.1985, before the rest of Queen followed (x, x)

attended her husband's birthday party on 23.08.1985 (see pictures below)

was backstage with her husband, but without their children, at the Live Aid concert on 13.07.1985 (see "Mercury and Me" by Jim Hutton)

apparently has relatives in New Zealand (x)

appears to like loop earrings, or at least wore them on several occasions (see pictures below)

joined her husband in attending the Chelsea Arts Ball on 11.10.1985 (deduced from pictures by deaky_land on IG)

went on a vacation in France with her husband, their children and Roger Taylor and his family in 1985 (x)

joined her husband in attenting the Fashion Aid party in the Royal Albert Hall on 05.11.1985 (see pictures below)

"I've got a nice house, a loving wife and a couple of kids - that'll do me!" (John Deacon, June 1986, x)

was backstage with their children at the Queen concert in Wembley Stadium, London in 1986 (x)

went on several vacations in Biarritz with her husband, and sometimes their children too, in the late 80s (x, x)

in a radio interview on 29.05.1989 her husband mentioned the song "Veronica" by Elvis Costello & Paul McCartney as his favourite song, mainly because it's her name (x at ~28:10)

“[...] I have to admit that I’ve changed a lot over the years due to Veronica´s influence, but she still can’t stand any mathematics.” (John Deacon, 1986 in a German magazine)

considering her long love of art and their wealth, she might be an art collector (apparently Cameron once said she owns many paintings)

gave birth to Luke James Deacon on 05.12.1992 (x), who plays bass in his own band Kid Jupiter (see his Instagram)

joined her husband at the Crowday Ruins Concert on 18.09.1993 (x, see picture)

gave birth to Cameron Matthew Deacon on 07.11.1993 (x), who's autistic, bisexual and a Zumba instructor in training (x)

“She´s a lovely person, completely unpretentious. I’ve got the impression down the years that their children are the most important things to her.”  (Ruth Bullen)

took the photographs for Steve Gregorys album “Bushfire” which was published in 1994, which featured John on bass on a few tracks (x)

probably is the one taking care of of their garden, including the maintenance of the trees (Wandsworth website)

in the late 90s there was an art studio built in their home, presumably for her (comments on this post, Wandsworth website)

went to "Party In The Park" in Hyde Park with her husband on 07.07.2002 (x)

"Veronica sort of marches in and takes control when she finds out what's going on. [...] I think his wife probably made him get over it. She's a very strong character." (Lesley-Ann Jones in the Podcast Planet Porky, talking about the rumours about a possible affair of John's around 2002.)

is a grandmother to at least four children, two from Robert and two from Michael (deduced from several of Cameron's posts)

owned a little dog named Saffy for at least seven years, during 2008-2016, but it's likely the dog lived longer than that (see Cameron's Facebook and Luke's Instagram)

was mentioned in the acknowledgements of Peter Hince's book, which was first published in 2011 (see "Queen Unseen")

is “totally cool with it” that her youngest son is bisexual (Cameron on Twitter, 2013) -> she can't be extremely conservative if she accepts his sexuality and would like to "see [him] with a catholic man" (Cameron on Twitter, 2015)

probably had an operation on her heart or a heart condition, presumably in 2015 (Cameron on Twitter)

probably wears glasses nowadays (deduced from pictures)

would "walk over hot coals" for her children (Anna Deacon on Facebook, who generally speaks very positively about Veronica)

still very caring for her children, for example surprising them with cake they like or simply checking in on them (see Cameron and Luke Deacon's tweets)

still married to and living together with John Deacon (see Cameron's posts), and they still walk with their arms linked together <3

"For me, my wife is the best." (John Deacon, May 1984, x)

Pictures of Veronica!

This is a list of all known (to me) pictures of Veronica over the years, I apologize if I missed any or got anything wrong. There aren't any public pictures of Veronica in the 70s yet, but maybe we'll get lucky someday! The pictures below are in no particular order. I've not included images past 1997, in respect of their privacy.

1981 Queen's South America tour. There's a picture of her on an airplane, together with her two oldest children and Freddie Mercury.

1982 Queen's Hot Space tour. On April 18th, she's pictured at the Zurich airport, and on April 22/23rd at the hotel together with her family. (x)

1982 Queen's Hot Space party in early June. She's seen leaving the party together with her husband.

1984 Freddie Mercury's birthday on September 5th. It's not confirmed that it really is Veronica, but John is leaned onto a woman in a similar manner that he leaned on Veronica later on.

1985 John Deacon's birthday on August 23rd. There are two pictures of her at this party, in both of them she's pictured with her husband.

1985 Chelsea Arts Ball on October 11th. It's not confirmed that it really is Veronica, but in both pictures she's close to John, and her face and style looks similar to the confirmed pictures.

1985 Fashion Aid on November 5th. The two pictures of her aren't confirmed either, but the woman looks familiar and stands close to John.

1986 Queen's concert in Wembley Stadium on July 12. @growfasterfaster discovered her in the video footage, and it appears extremely likely that it really is Veronica. (x)

1993 Crowday Ruins Concert on September 18th. Veronica and John are pictured walking together at that concert, recognizable by their matching backstage passes.

past 1997 All in all 8 various private family pictures, ranging from Disneyland trips to weddings and fan meetings, during 2009 to around 2018.

A quick word from me: I doubt it's possible to provide 100% exact and reliable sources, especially with a person as private as her. Therefore, some of this is interpretation/speculation, and might not be true after all. 🔹If it makes you uncomfortable if I linked posts on your blog, let me know and I'll remove it asap!🔹 The recent video of them luckily isn't up on YT anymore, so obviously I can't provide a source for it.🔹In no way I intent to harm their family's privacy with this, all the info I found was/is public!🔹I'll *try* to update this post if there's anything new about her. This is meant as a work in progress, we'll see if I'm able to stick with it ;)

Special thanks to Lauren (@lickemagaindeaky), Kate (@warriorteam1924), El (@beydeaks) and Rachel (@eileen-crys) for your help and encouragement, thank you & ly!💙

& If you find more info about Mrs Deacon or know something to be wrong, please let me know so I can correct/include it! :)

---

July 1983

John Deacon loved evenings like this. It was summer, his favourite season, and he was sitting outside on the bench in their garden, with his wife in his arms. The couple sat in the shadow of their house, which they'd just expanded a few weeks ago, when they'd agreed that they wanted a fourth child, and therefore would need more space. Now, Veronica was four months pregnant and under her tight shirt, her husband was able to see her little bump, something which he'd loved the first three times already. He couldn't wait for this child to arrive, while also cherishing the time she was pregnant, yet for her, there was an overbearing shadow over this experience.

A few days ago, John's band had had a meeting to discuss the possibility of going back into the studio, the break was now almost eight months long, and the others missed being playing together as Queen. The bassist had been a bit more hesitant, but he felt a sense of both loyalty and responsibility towards them. Still, he hadn't been able to ignore Veronica's badly hidden devastation, which mirrored in her every move, every word and every interaction they've had since then. It had made him think, think about how much he'd enjoyed the time at home with so few musical projects to do, the little professional responsibilities, instead, he had only been a father and a husband. He'd thought about how Veronica had made some comments about having to birth and raise this baby alone too, thought about the times he'd heard her cry and had been too scared to interrupt her.

Today, he'd made the biggest decision of his life, or at least one of the biggest. Of course, Veronica had suspected something was going on no matter how much he'd tried to hide his emotions, but he'd been able to keep his mouth shut. Only now that all three kids were settled in their beds and asleep, he felt the burning urge to tell her. Having secrets from her, even just for a few hours, wasn't his most favourite thing at all.

"Veronica?", he spoke up and hoped his voice was firm and not trembling the way his heart was.

"Mh?", she hummed back. She nestled her cheek against him, her hands taking his one in her lap. He knew she hated that his wedding ring was still lost, and he wasn't eager to get himself a new one, while she hadn't taken it off since their wedding, except for only a few occasions.

John really wanted to tell her. He was almost bursting with nerviness, the news wanted out, yet in the end, he only said: "Are you cold?"

"A little, yeah."

Everything in him screamed to tell his wife what had been rumouring inside of him for the whole day, and he surprised himself when he realized that he was a little frightened, because of all the possible ways she might react to it. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her, he wanted nothing more, yet he wasn't sure whether she'd consider it great or devastating news.

"I'll get you a blanket."

"That'd be nice", Veronica mumbled. "Bring me another glass of wine too, yes?"

"Sure", he nodded eagerly, as he gently separated their embrace, pulling his large hand from her petite yet strong ones, and standing up. She looked back up to him, smiling a little at how caring he was - she knew he'd been putting a lot of effort into actively being a good husband to her. With the little free time he'd had during the last years, he'd spent all of it with their children, which she couldn't blame him for, but their couple time had almost been decreased to zero because of that. Only in the past months and several rather stern talks from her, he'd taken better care of their relationship, something that only made her fall deeper in love with this amazing man.

As John walked back in through their garage to pick up one of the blankets they'd reserved for outside use, Veronica let her glance roam over their garden. On the left side, there was still a bit of chaos from all the building work that had happened during the last months, but she was already busy planning what plants she'd put there. John had suggested buying a trampoline for their children, and while she was a bit concerned about the safety of that, she appreciated the idea. Now, they had the place and money to buy a big one of good quality at least, so she reconsidered shutting this idea down initially, and she was certain that all three of their children would be thrilled by it, especially Robert, who loved all kinds of sporty activities. It still made her smile how their eldest boy was almost always able to convince his dad to play football with him, despite John's general dislike of participating in such activities.

"Ronnie?", her husband called, and she turned her head to where he stuck his one out of the door. "Do you want white wine, or red?"

"I never take red wine, you should know that", she scolded him lovingly and he promptly blushed in embarrassment and went back inside. A few minutes later, he came back out, balancing two glasses, one tall one with white wine, the other smaller and filled halfway with gin tonic, as well as a thick blanket, which she pulled from his arm once he was in her reach. Carefully, she spread it over herself, before taking her glass from his hands, which allowed him to sit down more easily. Veronica felt gracious, and spread the blanket over his knees, too, before laying back against him.

"I wish life was always like this", she whispered with a sad smile on her face as she looked up to him. He quickly took the opportunity to kiss her lips, his heart racing as he thought that now was the perfect moment. He had to tell her.

"What if it were?", he mumbled, looking back into their garden to avoid his wife's eyes, because he knew the exact glance she gave him now, a bit irritated, and able to read him as well as nobody else could.

"It's not, though", she replied flatly, sighing at the nice thought nonetheless. She couldn't help it, a part of her still mourned the silent, more or less normal life they'd thought they'd have by now.

"Well, but what if it were?", John insisted. His vigour irritated her slightly, before she grew curious.

"What do you mean, John?"

"Well-"

"John", she said sternly and wound out of his embrace, before placing her wine on the ground so she wouldn't spill it as she sat to face her husband. "John, what's going on? You're acting weird."

He looked down at his twisting hands, taking a deep, nervous breath. "What if I stayed here?"

"Here as in home? Or here as in England?"

"Home."

"What- What does that mean? John, don't kid around! What- Are you saying…? What are you saying?!"

"Well, erm, what if I… stopped? With the band? Just, you know, stay at home, maybe I could go into production, but… Not with Queen."

Veronica couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly she felt, but mostly, she wasn't sure whether she could trust his words.

"You want to… quit Queen?"

"No, I…" He sighed deeply, trying to explain himself, yet not finding the right words to do so. He closed his eyes, struggling, and suddenly felt tears run down his cheeks as he was overwhelmed with the situation. How was he supposed to tell her what a conflict had been within him the past days, how to tell her what he'd decided today? No words seemed enough to let her know, while he desperately needed her to know how he felt and what he thought. If she wouldn't understand, no one else would. Veronica was the person he trusted most, he always came to her in both bad and good times, and if he'd fail to let her know his emotions now, he felt like giving up completely.

Frustration made his body tremble as he pressed his lips shut, trying not to sob, trying not to break down right now. A pair of cold arms sneaked around his body as Veronica hugged him tightly.

"Shht", she whispered into his ear. "Just let it all out, I'm here."

John's hands went up to grab her arm around his belly, and he leaned into her, his forehead placed at her shoulder as he followed her guide and began sobbing into her shirt. She'd been able to help him in many situations where he'd felt sick to the stomach, her calmness and touch always comforting him, and she'd help him now, too. She made him better.

Swaying him a little in her arms, she kissed his curly hair, which, as much as she'd disliked the short hair at first, she had to admit she'd grown very fond of. Veronica felt each of her husband's deep breaths, each of his little whimpers made her heart clench more, while she couldn't deny that she was both curious and anxious about what he'd been trying to say. Of course they'd talked about him quitting the band, but those had always been daydreams, for both of them, fantasies of a life they'd never actually have, a slow, calm life full of peacefulness and little stress. She had never allowed herself to actually consider this possibility, too scared to end up with regrets and hatred for her life as it was.

"Veronica?", John whispered into her shirt in a small, almost scared voice and she hummed as a sign that she was listening.

"I think I do want to quit."

Often, the couple was able to understand each other without or with just a few words, but now, it wasn't enough for Veronica to calm her pacing heart. "You really want to… retire? Never go back to the studio or touring?"

The bassist took another deep breath before he felt ready to sit up. Taking her hands in his ones, he finally looked into her hopeful brown eyes.

"Yes. I- I thought about it for a long time, and being home for so long now… I can't leave you again. It's not worth it."

"Really?", Veronica whispered back. The careful smile on her face, coupled with a few tears spilling over, broke his heart, and he knew that this had been the right decision. He loved her. He'd vowed to show her how much he loved her, and this would be his greatest promise; giving up the life he knew, his friends and his music, just for her and their family.

"It'll take some time to work it all out", he said softly, trying to stay focused on all the things he needed her to know about this. He'd made a mental list, but wasn't sure if he'd be able to remember all of it. "With the money, the contracts, the other three… It's a long process, and I might lose some money in court, but I'll keep getting the royalties for my songs, so-"

Veronica's lips were on his ones before he could finish the sentence, with such passion and excitement that it felt as if they were eager teenagers, not a married couple in their thirties. She wanted to scream and cry, but instead, she only kissed him deeper, her fingers tangling in his locks as he cupped her cheek with his large, calloused hand.

After a while, she pulled back, looking at him intensively. "Do you really mean it?"

"I do, Veronica", he replied firmly, and for the first time since making this decision, he was able to smile about it. "I mean it. I'm quitting the band." It was as if this huge weight had been relieved from his chest, and although he wasn't free from responsibilities just yet, in this moment, as his wife looked at him with sparkling eyes, her tears dripping on his hand, he felt free for the first time in years.

"I love you so much", she whispered in a hoarse voice. "So, so much. You're really going to quit and stay home, aren't you?"

Now, John broke out giggling, happiness spreading in his whole body in a way that he wasn't sure how to express, so he only held her hands tighter. "Yes, I will. We'll both stay home and take care of ourselves and our children."

"You'll stay with me?"

"Well, I might go into producing music, but not the the extent I was involved with Queen, you know, just some local projects, I'll be home for dinner every day", he explained anxiously, hoping she'd understand. He wanted to work, he felt the urge to do something instead of sitting around on his bottom at home all his life, but he couldn't break her heart again by leaving her to go across the world, it's a price he wasn't willing to pay anymore. He'd consulted with their lawyer already, figuring out if what he had would be enough to live off of for the rest of their lives if they wanted to keep up this style of living, because he didn't want her to end up poor once again, after all they'd gone through. It was a lot more complex than just quitting from one day to the next, but in that moment, he saw that Veronica didn't care about the details just yet. For now, all they focused on was that soon, he'd be free again.

"Yes, I'll stay with you", he corrected himself with a timid smile. "Forever, like we promised."

"John…"

"Mh?", he asked back, looking into her warm eyes and was met with nothing but utter love. She was always supportive, and now, he felt silly for ever questioning her reaction to such news. As difficult as it all had been for him, she hadn't been better off, stuck in London with their children for months on end with minimal support, always fearing for his well-being on tour. She was exhausted and scared, yet now, he was able to see how all those longstanding worries were relieved in a matter of minutes.

"I don't know what to say", she admitted with an insecure chuckle, her cheeks red, and he knew this wasn't because of the wine but because of the happiness and relief slowly spreading.

John grinned cheekily. After the news were out, he felt relieved, and decided to try to make this day end even better. "Well… How about 'You're such a good husband, let's go inside to have sex'?"

"Oh, you're filthy!", she scolded. But her laugh betrayed her, and he was glad he'd been able to lighten the mood a little. He knew this topic would lead to many difficult conversations, but the hope that it would be worth it in the end kept him going.

Veronica's hand stroked over his bare thigh, and he was very pleased at that moment that he was wearing shorts.

"Well, John…" His wife smirked at him. "You're such a good husband, how about we go inside and have sex, mh?"

The bassist giggled, blushing a little. "I did not think this would work! Thought you wanted to ask some more questions."

"True. It's not that late, I think we have time for both…"

"Go ahead", he encouraged her gently, knowing instinctively what she'd want to do first of those two options.

Veronica collected her thoughts for a moment. "You said you signed a contract already, when was it, maybe two years ago? And you said it's a big one, how are we going to get out of this with any money left? Are we going to have debt? Do we have enough money to put the children through school?"

John had expected such questions, so he was calm when he answered, even had a little smile on his face. He was planning their future, and although it was scary, he knew he was able to provide for them. "Well, yes, it's going to be a bit tricky. The others might lose money too, they might be upset with me, but I'm planning on giving them the liability to use the name Queen, you know? They might get a new bassist, or do other projects under that name, but without me, I won't earn anything from it. We might have to cut our vacations down a bit, if necessary, I'll sell our house in L.A. in a couple of years, you know, but we'll always have enough money, both for us and for the kids. You don't need to worry about money."

"Won't you miss touring?"

This question was more difficult, but he'd foreseen this as well, and had thought about his answer in depth. He wouldn't lie to her. "Probably, yes."

Veronica bit her lip a little. It wasn't that she was surprised by the answer, but a part of her felt bad that he was going to give up something he loved as dearly as touring. Swallowing her worries down, she thought of the next question. "You love working with the other three, won't you miss them?"

"I can still see them, I'm not cutting off contact. They're my friends, they just won't be my colleagues anymore, you know? In fact, Roger recently suggested going for a skiing vacation, the four of us."

"That's nice of him, I'd love to, but... But you won't be playing with them anymore then. You love playing with them."

He pulled her even closer and spoke very quietly, but she heard the sadness in his voice nonetheless. "I'll learn to live without it. I'll adjust."

Veronica stayed silent at that answer. Queen had been not only her husband's life, but hers, too. It had dominated every aspect of her life, their marriage, the way they raised their kids, the way she viewed herself. It hadn't been easy to adjust to that at all, it's been so different from anything she'd ever imagined her life to become, but the process had taken years. She'd known what she'd gotten herself into when she married a musician, although the extent had been vastly more than either of them had initially thought it'd be. This time, should her husband really retire, the process would be much quicker. The split in court might take years, but all that time, he'd be home, and as much as she hated to admit it, she'd gotten used to life without him. The changes would be dramatic for her already, she couldn’t imagine how difficult this decision had to have been for John.

"Do you think you can be… fulfilled, even without the band?"

"I hope so", he whispered with a thick voice. "I really, really hope so."

Veronica started crying, the pain in his voice hurt her heart, and he placed a kiss on her soft hair.

"Don't cry, Ronnie. I've made my decision."

"I don't want to keep you from doing what you love…"

"No, Ronnie, you're not doing that, I made the decision myself. See, I know you a little bit, that's why I only told you now, I knew you'd blame yourself if I hadn't. And in the end, I can still go into production and all that, maybe I'll build my own studio somewhere in London. - I promise, I will be able to deal with it. We'll be happy, okay? We'll be together and we'll be happy."

"You do know me well", she sniffled quietly and John hugged her as tight as he possibly could without smothering her.

"That's why I made this decision. For us."

"You're a good husband", Veronica mumbled as she melted in his warm embrace. He stayed quiet, wondering if her words were true.

Of course he wanted to be a good husband and father, but sometimes, he felt nothing short of an utter failure, making him believe she deserved someone better. Now, he tried to be this better person himself. The thought of her being with a different man, let alone marrying one, made his stomach turn; she was his wife, and he wanted it to stay this way. He wanted her to be proud to have him as his husband, and no matter how difficult this decision was and how deep the fear of regretting it was inside his heart, he knew he had to change. Not only for her, but for their children, too. He didn't want them to forget him, he didn't want them to be the children in school who had nothing good to tell about their dad, because he had to leave just when they'd gotten used to having him around again. He wanted to watch them grow up and be a major part of their lives. He wanted to actually do the parenting and not just hear about it in phone calls while he was in a different part of the world, playing to thousands of strangers he barely cared for. No, he wanted to be with his loved ones instead.

As much as he loved being a musician, after all, it was all he'd ever known in the past ten years of his life, John felt that now it was his time to make the change to be a great husband and father instead. He'd make sure to never leave them behind or forget any of them ever again; that's what family meant to him.

After a silent while of them hugging each other end sipping on their respective drinks, Veronica suddenly started giggling, making him lift his head to look at her, and she saw the silent question in his eyes. She smirked, her heart fluttering at the prospect of having many, many more evenings like this to come due to his decision.

"Now that I asked my first few questions... Since you'll be such a good stay-at-home husband, John, and you answered me so well, how about we finally go inside and have sex? I can't get any more pregnant, anyway."