The following paragraphs are a discussion of deity work, with a focus primarily on safety and responsibility. Everyone needs to feel safe enough to work with their gods personally; no one should tell you how to worship.
Two disclaimers apply: first, I use the word 'worship' as a loose and accessible term for deity work, due to its dual noun/verb nature.
Second, I hold these opinions steadily enough that I will not take offense if you merely disagree. If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't.
But I do not accept the use of blatant fallacy to discredit or invalidate the work of others. If it works for them, and does not hurt you or your community, let it be.
All said, let's begin.
What are gods?
The only consistent answer for this is that gods are story incarnate. Gods are the things we see, love, and fear in ourselves, nature, our works, and other people. Gods cannot be blamed for a war, a famine, the greed of a pastor or the crippling doubt you are experiencing. They can only be credited with doing their jobs, because they do not act outside of their domains. Ares favor falls on the victor- but that's just a story. Both sides of the battle will be praying fervently to their war gods, but only one will win, and then credit theirs with being mightier.
Who was really mightier, though? The soldiers, of course. But war is inhumane, and as long as we can credit a god with our victory, the atrocities will be cast as preordained. Gods don't have the same standards men do.
Gods are the point where our consciousness intersects with things that are out of our control. I hate to offend some folks- but we were here first. We retconned history so that the gods were immortal and eternal, and because we all believed it, it became true- but only for the people who believe it.
When you begin your journey, the road is often littered with claims that 'your gods will choose you', or that you MUST wait for a spirit to reach out before beginning worship practices.
It's your choice, though. Nobody seems to want to admit that, to themselves or anyone else.
If you are interested in practicing deity work, the gods have already chosen you. It is your responsibility to know them, reach for them, speak to them, now. Similarly, it is your responsibility to maintain their sacred space, and make offerings appropriate to their domains, and (the BIG one that everyone misses) live in accordance with the values they represent.
Which brings us to the next point:
I'm going to use my gods as examples here, because I feel that it would be unfair to make claims about anyone else's deity work without providing my basis for comparison.
I worship Loki (the God of Mischief), Mephistopheles (the Shrewd Merchant), Auberon (the Autumn Lord), and the Sand-Man (God of Bedtime Stories). I also work with personal manifestations of the cardinal elements, and am friendly with the local sylph (air-spirits).
Do you see a pattern? Gold and orange and darkling purple, bonfires at dusk, travel hard and sleep harder. Make yourself at home wherever you go, subvert expectations, and talk your way into or out of anything you like. Everyone is a friend until proven an enemy, and no enemy will be forgotten for their crime. Tell tales for the children, the hungry, the old.
These are the tenets of my faith, but reader, I did all of that before ever meeting my gods. I worship these gods because I agree with their values- not vice versa. If you have to agonize to fit the 'ideal' practitioner for your god, by giving up parts of your own being, seek out somebody else.
Tricksters and Teachers
Some gods, of course, show up out of nowhere. You will go about your business, and suddenly Baba Yaga shows up and asks you to take care of her spider. Janus offers you a life-altering decision that shatters your mental health for years. Eros pulls one over on you and you find the love of your life.
Sometimes, worship is not the goal. Tricksters are often vilified, but their original function was CHANGE. "The way your world works isn't serving you or your gods. Monotony has overridden the function of your practice. Let's shake it up."
The lessons taught by the random arrivals of gods are intentional; if your knee-jerk response is to kick them out and triple-lock your wards, you might want to consider your relationship with change and personal growth.
Back to free will, though- you don't fucking have to. Not a single god will take offense to the polite decline of their offer. Most trickster gods will even be ecstatic if you pull your magic weapon on them before you realize who you're dealing with.
Respect for Gods and Sacred Space
I have one rule, and one only, in regards to gods and temples: your personal practice doesn't mean a damn thing at a temple, circle, or sacred gathering. Even Loki acknowledges that the only person he needs to speak for him at his holy rites is the appointed priest/channel/etc. Your work, in your home, is going to be completely different from anyone else there, so stick to what you can all agree on, and leave points of contention to the highest authority at the gathering.
In other words, respect your deity by respecting the other practitioners of that deity.
Everything is an offering, friends. If I make a good sale, I make it in Mephistopheles' name. If I prank my partner in a well-played jest, I am honoring Loki. Every story I write is an offering to the Sandman. Every pot of chili or apple pie is dedicated to Auberon. If you are doing something they would take pride in, you are making an offering.
Your altar is for ritual, but your worship extends far beyond its immediate surroundings.
That's all for the time being. To summarize, the gods are collective concepts, worship is a choice, and respect is more easily applied to humanity than it is to ever-changing deific personifications.
Take what you will, discard what you won't.
With love from this long-winded madman.
