ooooo! lover boy

a minute to perform? performing before seniors? trying to impress someone? 

easy. 

hot! 𝘩𝘰𝘵! 𝙝𝙤𝙩!

              besides sports actually, there isn’t a lot of things hyoseop is actually good at, he can bake, he can paint, but is there anything else? for a while hyoseop believed his only talents were in things where he had to use his muscles; running, swimming, soccer. he had never really talented in anything besides sports, he wasn’t the smartest in school, and he didn’t feel like he had many talents. now however, starting in legacy, he was slowly starting to see he might have other talents too. for starters, he obviously had some sort of rap talent, how else could he have gotten into legacy (perhaps it was just his looks making him get in though). and as he lived with other people, he let his dormmates taste when he was baking, they seemed to enjoy it, so maybe he did know how to bake. 

and standing here today, he learned of another talent he had, pretty useless though he would say himself. coffee art really wasn’t something hyoseop was set on using his future for, foremost he hated the smell and taste of coffee, so he wasn’t expecting to work with coffee for forever. but he had gained the talent of coffee art already, so why not use it while he knew how to do it?

a trainee mission, really not where hyoseop had expected to be using his coffee talent, but he didn’t mind it. “matt!” he grabs the wrist of the younger. “since it’s going quite slow right now, and there aren’t that many here, would you like me to teach you coffee art?” he smiles to the shorter.

                                                                             <3 @lgcmatt

    he can’t believe they’ve expecting him to do work. and not even work in the sense of like idol training but like, goods and services type work. matty can’t say he has ever done work like this before. he’s never had a reason to. honestly he’s been use to things being done for him except for anything in the music world. that he has worked hard for to better himself and to reach for the skies and all that jazz. but to make coffee? 

     maybe he’s a little lost. and has been a little lost since the start of this. the whole idea of making coffee wasn’t really hard and yet he some how kept making messes left and right. spilled milk, dropped beans, knocking over cups--you name it! it’s both funny and frustrating. so when hyoseop comes over and asks about coffee art the rapper almost wants to just say no and vacate the cafe all together.

ah, future dreams. this is what i's all been about. the years of training and working to get even a taste of the spotlight. sure, matty started out in this company because he wanted to break away from what his parents expected of him but some how he grew to really love the world of music. he always has liked music, but now he couldn't imagine himself doing anything else. he couldn't imagine not waking up early every day to grind and sweat putting together performances in the hopes that one day he would be on stage. he's let a lot of chances fly past him but this time he was going to try and make headway.

the first step would be to get through this sort of interview situation. he waits for his name, focusing on keeping calm because he knows if he stresses himself out all he is going to do is make a fool of himself.

easier said than done. though honestly speaking matty has never been one for stressing over things like this. there has been very little that has gotten to him since joining the company. this of course is not counting the whole mess with his social life because that doesn't count. but the industry? he's had training for this all his life. it's not all that different what his parents wanted from out of him all his life growing up. the whole knowing how to public speak and to make himself look good. he knows how to do that.

once his name is called he moves with confidence to the room. his eyes find the chair easily and he takes a seat with a smile. that is when he gets the explanation of what is expected of him. the card in his hand feels heavy when he's handed it.

"the night before your debut, you are told to head to the hair salon. as the hairstylist is doing your hair, you begin to sense that they’re not doing their job well and end up giving you a hairstyle that you strongly dislike. will you tell the hairstylist about your honest thoughts or accept the terrible hairstyle that is given to you and face the press the next morning?"

he hums, re-reading the prompt once more to make sure he truly understands what it is asking of him. his legs cross over his lap and he taps his chin in thought. "well." he starts, smile still on his lips. "it's important to look good for debut as well as feel comfortable, no?" he speaks with confidence, comfortable in his words. and that shows in his body language and tone. "i would mention something once the hairstyle starts to go south. perhaps mentioning a popular style in season."

the scenario is one that he hopes he would never have to deal with though as he couldn't imagine accidently upsetting his stylist. "i wouldn't want to step on their toes as my looks are in their hands, but i also want to be proud of how i look especially for my debut." he relaxes more, hoping that he is giving off a comfortable façade so they would see him as a problem solver. "open communication between my stylist and i will promote a positive relationship going forward, which will be good if they are someone on my permanent team, no?"

focus on me,

backdated to the summer of 2021 !

when he met ( @lgcmatt ) the first time, forced to hear a string of flirtatious pick-up lines that grates his ears the moment they locked eyes, aiden hadn’t known the turbulence he invited into his life yet. now, though, that fact is crystal clear. matty is a tumultuous tornado that’ll leave more than a dent in aiden’s carefully crafted plan forward, but he supposes none of that matters anymore—he’s starting to learn that nothing ever goes to plan, no matter how much he tries to organise everything accordingly.

besides, that’s not what is important right now. matty sitting on a park bench, color drained from his face, lips trembling furiously, hugging himself and looking even smaller than he already is—so vulnerable as opposed to the usual vivacious personality he’d adorn—that’s what matters. aiden knew, of course, he had a feeling that often times matty would force a smile on his face, too wide that it’d falter, though no one sees. unfortunately for matty, aiden picks up on little things like that, even more so because they’re friends.

he didn’t want to say anything when he first noticed, but there’s no way he can ignore it now. not when matty is in such a state, reduced to—this. aiden grabs ahold of one of matty’s hands, wrestling his fingers open so he can place an unsealed waterbottle within, bringing it up to matty’s lips. “drink,” aiden instructs, leaving no room for complaint. “sober up a little,” he adds on, voice softer.

only once he’s certain matty is holding onto the bottle properly does he let go, moving to sit beside the other with a huff, stretching his legs before him. aiden waits patiently for the sound of chugging to cease, leaning back against his elbows. “you know i don’t like prying,” he starts, letting out a small breath, craning his head to face his friend—the side of matty that matty hasn’t shown anyone else, aiden recognizes. “but i can’t just keep letting you destroy yourself. i can’t watch you dig your own grave like this. so, open up. you’re the one who called me, remember? let me hear it. what made you resort… to all this?”

although his voice is firm, there’s gentle concern accompanying it. he’s worried, he’s not going to hide that fact. matty has to know that.

it's the middle of the summer and yet the warmth in the air does not seem to settle into his skin. the temperature on his weather app almost taunting him as another chill runs down his spine. he wonders if maybe this is karma for what he has done. for what he has been doing. for what he probably will keep doing because nothing in life seems to be going well for him and this is the one place he has control. his own body and mind and what he does with them in the night.

maybe it's just easier this way. to drown out the yearning ache in his chest with another burning drink and another unknown face. oh yeah, this is exactly what his spiraling mental stability needs.

he tells himself this is okay. tells himself this is what he needs if he wants to keep feeling okay. if he wants to be able to wake up the next day and face himself in the mirror. he says just one more time and you'll feel good. and yet each day he avoids looking at himself. he avoids his reflection in the mirror because he's afraid it's going to look back at him and scream i told you so! those judgmental eyes that have so often been cast onto strangers would instead turn onto him and he isn't sure he could handle that. so he drinks, and he talks, and he waste away his very little free time he has in this painful trainee life. hoping that one day something will click and make sense.

it didn't, and it still doesn't, and maybe that's why he made the phone call.

the breeze that dusts over his skin almost seems to laugh at him. is this what you were looking for? the wind asks him as he hunkers farther onto the bench. avoiding looking up at the figure standing before him. he can't bare to see the disappointment pained on aidens face. it' easier to kid himself when it's just him dealing with this. it's harder when his best friend is the one he sees in the reflection before him. his composed friend who never seems to do anything wrong. a perfect idol in comparison to the train wreck that is nam matthieu.

so he does as told. accepting the water bottle in both of his hands and taking long drinks. trying to take it slow so he doesn't choke. so he doesn't upset the swirl in his stomach. he feels the warmth of the other boy settle beside him on the bench and it takes everything in him to not look over. still too afraid to see what kind expression aiden could be making. so he waits. and he listens.

"this?" he gets out through a rough voice. his throat is sore from crying, among other reasons, so he takes another long drink. then the water is lowered to his lap and he stares at it. "you mean... dirtying myself with whatever dirt pile i can find?" he says quietly, bitter--angry at himself. he wonders what he should say. how he should say it. how much of it does aiden already know? the other boy has always been good at reading people and matty knows he's bascially like an open book for aiden. someone who pretty much has his heart on his sleeve no matter how much he tries to cover it up. he doesn't want to be obvious but he know's there is no chance of him changing any time soon.

— sunflower house

      he pretends to swat at the camera at matty’s cheesy greeting, and he’s a bit regretful that he can’t really speak. he doesn’t want the cameras to know that he’s on call with someone when he had said he was planning to sleep early, and he had already spent an hour in the bathroom the other day so he didn’t want to do it again in case he drew any suspicions on what he was doing. of course, he was just on the phone that time and would’ve been this time too but this is probably safer. 

      unable to hold back the eyeroll that he gives when matty says that the would’ve been i the studio all night had he not asked to call, it makes him feel a bit relieved that at least tonight he doesn’t have to worry about the younger male not sleeping. it’s not a constant worry that he has, but sometimes when his friends say things like that? it does make him worry a bit. training is hard and he thinks everyone needs their sleep to be able to deal with it.

     he knows better than anyone what lack of sleep does.

     knowing better than to apologize again for not having called in a while—they’re both aware of what being an idol does to their schedules, and it’s something they had knowingly given up when they both became trainees but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad for not having tried harder to keep in touch better. he’s sort of been bad at keeping up with his friends since he had debuted, and he knows he can’t really blame himself when he’s barely had time to sleep let alone chat with friends, but jiho still feels like he’s to be blamed for their lack of communication.

      he makes a mental note to himself to text matty more often, especially now that he’s a bit more free with his spare time. he should probably catch up with most of his friends, actually, but as his oldest friend, matty takes priority for now. 

     switching to their kakaotalk chat again, jiho frowns slightly as he types out ‘how have you been?’ and ‘hope training hasn’t been too hard’ and then lastly a quick ‘stop staying in the studio so late! you wake up so early!’ he wags a finger at his friend playfully, shaking his head after. it’s harder than he had thought it would be to stay quiet, but he doesn’t want to get up now, nice and  comfortable under the covers.

this is something he has missed. 

the easiness that comes when he speaks with jiho is something he has cherished since they met. the feeling wells in his chest and threatens to overwhelm him but matty is practiced in this. he has had years to sit on these feelings. they walk with him like an old friend in a park. a comforting warmth in his chest that he is so sure he had repressed. of course they came barreling back when he received the update from jiho and his relationship.  

the simmering affection coming back to a boil. though he feels like its a little cheap of him to be feeling this way. to think he might have a chance just because the obstacle is out of his way. where does he get the right to think like that? a spoiled brat. the ideology of a rich kid who has always gotten what he wants. 

maybe he just feels hope? hope that there is a chance now. hope that maybe this time he can amend his mistake from before. who knows, really? 

the messages from jiho pop up at the top of the screen and he finds himself smiling as he reads them. his elbow rests on the table and his chin goes to rest in his hand as he gazes at the older. the idol bundled up under his blankets on his bed. looking oh so cute and comfortable. 

“i’ve been... good.” he says, only a moment of hesitation because he wonders if jiho knows anything about his last year and a half. if anyone ratted him out to his old friend. if maybe aiden decided to one of the nights that they had an argument. he doesn’t think so and he doesn’t want to expose himself. to put that upon jiho would feel like he was laying a burden on him and the older doesn't need that. “better these days, just working hard to hopefully debut one day.” he replies with a smile, feeling like he was being honest for once. “i have to work hard if i want to catch up with you!” 

@lgcalex

the party is in full swing. 

the music is boring, the small talk is dull, and matty has already figured out each escape path he could take to get out. of course, he won’t. the shining son of his parents would never do something to disgrace their name. at least, not something that would be noticed. during a business party like this one? he needs to be on his best behavior. 

at some point he has found himself meandering over to the refreshment table. he’d just escaped from the grasp of one of his parents old investors. an old man who tells the same stories every time he talks. it’s a wonder no one has said anything. it’s there he finds a familiar face and matty feels himself smirk. his hand wraps around of the various non-alcoholic drinks and settles beside alex. 

is he being sneaky? 

no, not really. okay--sure yeah, he was trying to pretend he’s sneaky and that this is some top secret mission. but really. he’s not trying to sneak. ok. back it up. 

the dorms are a fun thing even after all these years of being in them and matty can explain why very easily. everyone always has something they keep secret. even if it isn’t a huge secret it’s still something they have stashed or hidden away like little chipmunks preparing for winter. sometimes it’s internal sometimes its external. in this case, matty has found an external stash and boy oh boy. he takes great pleasure in diving into it. 

though he’s sure cameron knows that there’s a sneaky quokka in his snack stash so far matty hasn’t been caught. alas. today would not be his day. 

— sunflower house

for @lgcmatt​  +  ·

     it’s been somewhat difficult to act as normal since the conversation he had had with his boy-ex-boyfriend. and it’s worse because they’re being filmed 24/7 aside from inside bathrooms, so he had ended up hiding in the bathroom for almost an hour to have that talk and he had had to continue just. acting normal in front of the other team a members. it’s been a few days since it had happened, and he’s thought it through and realized that he wasn’t personally in the wrong but he was still allowed to be sad. because who wasn’t sad over a breakup? even if it was mutual and on good terms and they had decided to continue being friends. it was hard still. a year and a half. just gone. 

     and not knowing who he could really talk about it with was difficult too, because he wanted to talk to haru about it or other friends. but haru was busy filming in team b, and he didn’t want to disrupt his spare time like that. or even distract him from the show at all.

     on a night that they didn’t have anything to do, waiting for the next set of instructions, jiho had climbed into bed early and texted matty to ask if he could call. considering they had been friends for a long time—since before legacy and even before jiho had ever started taking being an idol as a serious career path for himself—he thought he could trust the younger to distract him for a bit at least. he had texted him, explaining that he was sad and also telling him the reason why since he figured that matty deserved to know, as one of the people who had supported their relationship, before also adding that he probably couldn’t talk much since the room was being filmed and he was pretending to be sleeping and catching up on some rest.

     so with his face only lit up by his phone screen’s light and his stuffed cat tucked carefully under his chin, he waits for matty to pick up his call since the younger had very enthusiastically agreed to chat with him. or. at him, more likely. he knew that matty would be able to keep the conversation going even without much, if any, input from his end, considering how easily matty held conversation on his own was was one of the reasons why jiho enjoyed being in his presence so much. he watches the screen patiently, his blurry features the only thing displaying before he’s greeted by his best friend’s face.

     “hi,” jiho greets quietly, keeping his voice low, fully covered by the blankets and he’s glad he has a bottom bunk that’s somewhat not fully seen by the cameras. he waves a hand at the screen, a small smile appearing on his lips. switching apps really quickly to their chat on kakaotalk, he types out a quick ‘i feel like i havent seen you in forever 🥺’ text to matty, and then also a ‘sorry for calling you so late’ before switching back to the facetime app to hopefully catch the younger’s reactions to those messages.

         there has only ever been on thing he’s felt regret for, recently. 

 the light of his phone screen brightens the dark room as he rests against the wall of his dorm. he’s comfy in bed fully knowing they could be here a while. even if they aren’t, he wants to be able to give jiho his full attention. the older boy has always been a light in his life--someone who took care of him when he was new and unaware of his surroundings. all these years of being friends has formed a strong fondness in his chest for jiho. 

  which is why a smile blooms across mattys face as jiho’s comes into view. 

   he was, of course, already aware of the reason that jiho wanted to have this call. it’s been a while since the two of them have been able to do something like this. between the older being a debut’d idol and also him being in a relationship--past tense now. matty never wanted to intrude on that. didn’t want to take time away from jiho and his previous boyfriend when the idol had so little time as it is. 

                his one regret. 

   “hey hey~ i didn’t know they had cell reception in heaven~.” he greets, teasing in his tone but a smile on his face. he can’t help but fall to his default. his mind has been playing romantic movie after romantic movie in his head ever since he heard the news. he knows he needs to be sympathetic--supportive. that he needs to be there for jiho while the other grieves the loss of a relationship. no matter how amicable it was. but he also finds it hard to be sad. yet he has found it so easy to latch onto hope. 

hey whats up! bringing to you all a fresh dude named matty! he’s a wanna be rapper from France who has been in the company since 2019. he’s fluent in three languages and passing in a fourth one. adapt in chaos and here to have fun! i’d love to plot with y’all and get some threads!! 

for the trainee event he is in group GREEN and i would very much like plots 

here have some fun facts ;