!BLOOD DRINKER!

I had a very similar experience as a young teen and still struggle sometimes but ive found eating more meat products has helped me.

It really was just a coincidence for me. I never related to vampires during my awakening, so I never searched for other people with experiences that might relate to vampirism online. I felt like I was descending into madness and that I was completely alone in my life experience. I can't even remember what I searched that made it pop up, but I stumbled upon vampirewebsite.com, which for those who know, is by far the worst place to start (but apparently they've got decent SEO because it's where I hear a lot of vamps first found out about the community). They have a bunch of clearly rediculous info, but they had a forum, so I joined. After my first post, I was summarily kicked for talking about blood cravings, which is a wild thing to do on a vamp forum. The confusion that came from my first vampire connection kicking me for talking about the only thing I assumed anyone was there for made me mad enough to start seriously looking. And with the new search terms I had collected, I found sanguinarius.com and the VCMB (Vampire Community Message Board). Sadly, since the last time I looked, I believe both of those sites have been dissolved, which kind of breaks my heart. They brought me out of my years-long awakening into a more coherent understanding of what I was going through. That's the reason I'm here on tumblr. In part, I do think it's helpful to get my vamp thoughts out from time to time somewhere, but I want to create a similarly accepting space where people can realize that there are others like them out there.

A while back, when I still used Reddit, a vamp in a community there shared this treat. This weird little chocolate bar with its objectively disturbing wrapper design is called Hematogen (that name alone will start ringing bells for the discerning vampire).

A product of Ukraine, it's considered a nutritional/medicinal product to help with low iron and anemia. And the source of that iron is albumin from cow's blood. It has a slight metallic taste, and I was originally referred to this treat specifically for its use as a potential substitute.

So, a i found the kin community, then a video on "real life vampires", then another video vaguely on sanguinarians and spooky encounters with vampires, and now this. Nowadays, saying im a vampire kin doesnt feel right anymore. Its been so watered down by the mainstream and it feels wrong to say that i wish i was one, or think i am one. Like, i wouldnt say ,,Oh i think i am/wish i was a guy." I am a guy, just as i am a vampire.

Still, the kin community was the first big step into it and i still love it dearly. Still wear gear (well... one red black bracelet that looks bloody, vampire-esque clothes, whatever that means). I am pretty pale and veiny, so thats very nice.

ANYWAYS, the main point of this ask is: how do i connect with other sanguinarians? I am from germany, a pretty small town, and ive never heard the word until a few days ago (and finally found something that matches for the first time). In the capital or such there might be meetups, but its hours away and those are likely roleplays. Now, i have heard that there are "secret sanguinarian meets in central europe" but either thats bullshit or theyre so secret that theres nothing to find about it. So yeah, help a vamp out please

If I'm being honest with myself, I still don't think I have any idea what otherkin are, especially in relation to vampirism... But I have quite a bit that could help you. While the U.S. vampire community experienced a schism that has left most of us without local communities to connect with (not to mention the size of the U.S.), Germany is home to a house that I used to be fairly well acquainted with. Sadly, life happened and I haven't been as active in online circles in a while, but they established a fantastic community that I enjoyed being a part of for a while. They may even be able to get you a mentor, which, if their people who do mentorship are better than the ones I have seen in my time in American courts, they should be able to set you up nicely with the information you need. I should also say that I don't know that they do mentorships, so I won't guarantee that is something you can expect. I'll give you a few links to look through below.

House Sauromatos: sauromatos.com - @sauromatos

Black Rose Society: @blackrosesociety-vampyres

I have a few different answers for you, so feel free to take whatever feels like it will work and leave whatever doesn't. First of all, if you haven't already, I would look up general resources on managing body dysmorphia. It's almost guaranteed that you will find practices that are helpful, and the people who help others manage body dysmorphia are certified and actually know what they're talking about, unlike me :P

The first thing that I want to make sure that I say is that I have met a decent number of vamps at this point, and in my experience, there are no phenotypical cues (observable characteristics) that make it clear that someone is a vampire. Each and every vamp I have met has been wildly different, and the thing that has made it clear that they were all vampires came from a deeper place than their looks. What I'm trying to get at is that there is a vampire that looks exactly like you because you are that vampire.

If that is too flowery for you and ultimately unhelpful from your perspective, there are ways to make changes. Depending on your circumstances, you may have to save up for them, but there are always fangsmiths (like psykic fangs) that can make custom fangs for you. I even started learning how to make them myself a while ago, but haven't tried my hand at that hobby in a while. There are cheaper options for fang caps as well, or you could even try to learn how to make them if you're particularly crafty. Some people even use coloured contacts, but I don't know much about them.

I thought this video was pretty well made and she references a few different resources that I hadn't heard of. And I always appreciate when people look at vamp history from multiple angles rather than just from one side of the divide.

The Black Books used to be the place to go. With that resource no longer available, you can always check the similar community connections map that The Vampire Coven has been putting together [https://thevampyrecoven.com/map/]. It isn't as full yet, but it has some features I like more. I have, however, had a difficult time putting my info into it, so I need to go back and try again.

Comparison is the killer of personal experience.

Hi! It depends on what you consider 'active'... I don't really use social media all that much anymore, but I still look out for asks so that I can keep being present with the tumblr community :)

Believe it or not, you're not alone. I don't know if they're still active, sadly I don't remember their username (it's been years), but I had a decent bit of correspondence with a vamp who was struggling with hemophobia. First off, I think you're on the right track, using it as an ingredient in cooking is a great way to work through hemophobia. Depending on how intense your reaction to blood is, you will, of course, have to work through a first step of seeing blood as an ingredient and getting comfortable cooking with it. I have pretty much always been a proponent of blood hot chocolate, and would definitely recommend a stovetop hot chocolate (something like this: https://www.livewellbakeoften.com/stove-top-hot-chocolate/) or an italian hot cocoa (https://www.insidetherustickitchen.com/italian-hot-chocolate-thick-decadent/). You can just add however much blood you need to the recipes, though I'd start small.

The Red Cellar also has a whole page of blood recipes: