Lady Kyō

"My brother visits the PIRATES Palmdale set, seeing it all for the first time, and he happens to come on an odd day. All the actors are in the Black Pearl and the entire ship is filled to the brim with round blue plastic balls. It's the shot where the crabs overflow and pour out into the sea, but the crabs are created later via CGI, on set all we see are these blue plastic balls. So everyone is swimming around in these balls acting like kids, actors and crew in a goofy mood, a mock fight breaks out, people flinging the balls at each other, and they're bouncing everywhere. To my brother it must look like making a film is just goofy fun, and I guess it is.

Later, Michael Singer shows me a press release written on that day, titled "Blue Balls to Crabs."

Weeks later, we're still finding those blue plastic balls on the set. Gore's kids play with them, the extras and PAs throw them at each other. I stop by a group trying to juggle and offer a few tips, and impress them with my (limited) juggling skills. I show off a few moves and move on while they're still impressed, before I have a chance to screw up.

Blue Balls is the name of the kitten who lives (illegally) in the 'office' in the middle of the hanger. The officer is not really an office, but rather a giant cubicle created by the stacks and stacks of crates that were used to deliver the blue balls. The cat lives in there somewhere, every now and then you can look in through the boxes and see her."

~yawn~

It wasn’t any of my mom’s suggestions, which were go to the teacher, go to the principal, just keep going to an adult because *surely* that will *eventually* help even though obviously it wasn’t and my life was turning into a living hell in the meantime while the authorities she put all her faith in did nothing and she didn’t lift a finger because she thought I needed to handle it on my own to learn *responsibility*. The teachers said either what this post did, or to just ignore them. Obviously none of that worked.

You know what did work?

One week when my mom was out of town, my dad was waiting by the bus stop for me. He drove his car over to some of the kids who had been picking on me, and scared the living daylight out of them by rolling down the window and asking them “so you think it’s funny to make little girls cry?” He didn’t *do* anything to them. Just scared the little shitheads so badly they hopefully never bullied anyone else ever again because they realized there would be fucking consequences.

My best friend and I didn’t have a single other issue the rest of the year. From anyone who had bullied us, not just that particular group. For the rest of the year we were left completely alone by people who had up until then tormented us every time the adults’ backs were turned.

In people

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

The four-year battle between Katy Perry and a group of nuns has produced its first casualty. Sister Catherine Rose Holzman died on Friday at the age of 89 after collapsing in a court hearing. She was one of two Sisters of the Most Holy and Immaculate Heart of the Blessed Virgin Mary who fought their archdiocese’s attempt to sell their former home to Perry. Sister Catherine Rose was responsible for such zingers as, “In selling to Katy Perry, we feel we are being forced to violate our canonical vows to the Catholic Church.” Her passing is sad, to be sure. But one has to admire such a dramatic final slug in a fight she believed in so thoroughly.

and apparently, when she straight-faced, lifted her glass of chardonnay to her ear and swirled it, she baffled the other winery-goers so much that they all instinctively did exactly the same thing. that sort of crowd-think, that you aren’t quite sure what’s right but you’ll be damned if you’re mistaken for the plebian that you are

but watching that was enough for my mom to lose her composure, laugh so hard she cried, and spill the entire glass all over herself, in the process getting kicked out of the winery

Historically, the spices I have in my cabinet are an embarrassment of riches. I have there a large container of whole black peppercorns which I grate fresh over my food. Multiple containers of cinnamon because I forgot I already had some. Ginger, cardamom, red pepper flakes, whole cloves and ground, nutmeg and turmeric. Kings and emperors have not eaten food so well spiced.