Shitty Life Pro Tips

SLPT: Need to remove paint from your favorite shirt? Soak it in undiluted bleach and lay it out to dry for a night and the paint will be completely gone.

SLPT: Don't do anything. Ever.

SLPT: If you tell a pregnant woman congratulations and she tells you she isn’t pregnant, quickly tell her you meant on beating anorexia. This will save you some embarrassment and make the situation less awkward

SLPT: When someone yells at you, just do what they do in the movies. Get closer to them and ask,"Are you as turned on as I am?" Yelling will stop.

SLPT tired of high blood sugar? Don't eat anything, you'll be able to live like this for the rest of your life.

SLPT It's better to live in denial than face the truth.

SLPT: keep all your passwords posted on Facebook so it’s easily accessible. Edit: this works foe Reddit/titter/etc

SLPT: Feeling sick from not eating but don't actually want to eat ? Down lots of fluids that will get to the stomach fast and ease the feeling. Or of course you could just like .....eat...when you're supposed to..

SLPT: When the doctor ask you to take 2 pills a day, take 3 or 4 a day to surprise and overwhelm the virus.

SLPT: If pulled over for speeding, tell the officer you were just trying to get home because you left your newborn alone while you ran to the store.