Homemaking but Without the Alt-Right Trad Wife Pipeline
Between TikTok and Tumblr, I’m seeing way too much bedrotting and overwhelm about what actually needs to happen to clean a room or maintain a home. There’s a real gap in basic home-training skills; and the people filling that gap are often alt-right tradwife influencers and crunchy pseudoscience.
I am here, as your big sister who’s been living alone and maintaining clean, functional spaces in both surgical/clinical and cozy domestic settings for 6 years now, to teach you the basic tools, how they work, and how to keep your home clean cheaply and effectively.
This is homemaking for Competent Women not patriarchal nonsense. I'll cover pet care and pet cleaning routines and supplies in a follow up post, and these are all going to be tagged as #Big Sister Chats
≽^•⩊•^≼ Tools and Supplies ≽^•⩊•^≼
The Perpetual Tools ♡ Basics You Actually Need
ᵔᴥᵔ An upright canister or Euro canister vacuum
- not a stick vac. If you’re only going to have ONE vacuum, it should be a canister with real suction power and attachments. Supplement with a stick vac later if you want.
- Cuban, Spin, Microfiber, Sponge, Deck Brush… I don’t care, just get a good mop head.
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: A handheld carpet cleaner/spot cleaner, and know where your local rentable wall-to-wall cleaner is (grocery stores, Lowe’s, Home Depot).
ᵔᴥᵔ Rubber or heavy nitrile gloves
ᵔᴥᵔ A Plastic Razor Blade
ᵔᴥᵔ A Garment Steamer or Iron (I am begging you and I promise it's worth it)
ᵔᴥᵔ A lint brush, lint stone, or lint comb
ᵔᴥᵔ A clothing drying rack or clothes line
ᵔᴥᵔ A dish drying rack with mat
ᵔᴥᵔ A Toilet Brush & Plunger Set
ᵔᴥᵔ Two Laundry Hampers or Laundry Bags
ᵔᴥᵔ A sponge with a non-scratch scrub side (Scrub Daddy, Scotch-Brite, whatever)
ᵔᴥᵔ An old toothbrush (For detail bits)
Nice To Haves ♡ Upgrades That Make Life Easier
ᵔᴥᵔ A Hand & Stick Combo Vacuum (Bissell Featherweight, Dyson stick vacs, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ Your own wall-to-wall carpet cleaner (if you have carpet)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Swiffer-type Quick Mop dusty and mist/damp mop system (O-Cedar Microfiber, Swiffer, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Wet/Dry Vac (there are very cool all-in-one mop/vac combos now)
ᵔᴥᵔ 1–2 divided cleaning caddies
ᵔᴥᵔ Scouring Pads / Steel Wool
ᵔᴥᵔ A Mini Bucket (for mixing small solutions)
ᵔᴥᵔ A Duster (instead of just using dry rags)
ᵔᴥᵔ Spray Bottles (Labeled with what's in them)
ᵔᴥᵔ Dedicated sink plunger
ᵔᴥᵔ Pumice stone for hard water and rust lines
ᵔᴥᵔ A floor and a hand squeegee (Wet messes, pet hair if you do the rubber brush + squeegee thing)
ᵔᴥᵔ Ironing Board/ Arm boards/ Tailor's Hams
ᵔᴥᵔ Disposable Exam gloves
The Barest of Cleaning Supplies ♡ The Minimum Effective Arsenal
ᵔᴥᵔ Bleach or an ammonia-based cleaner
- Something with actual documented pathogen-killing power (Clorox, Lysol)
ᵔᴥᵔ Distilled White Vinegar
- Bar Keepers Friend, Comet Bleach Powder, Baking Soda, pick one
ᵔᴥᵔ Oxygen Bleach / OxiClean / OxyPowder
- powder, liquid, pods, doesn’t matter just something effective
ᵔᴥᵔ Carpet cleaning solution (if you have carpet + a portable carpet cleaner)
ᵔᴥᵔ Enzyme Cleaner (if you have pets or a period)
Nice To Have Cleaning Supplies
ᵔᴥᵔ Cleaning solutions for any “Nice to Have” machines
- (steam mop, carpet cleaner, wet/dry vac)
ᵔᴥᵔ Surface-specific cleansers
- (stone-safe, wood-safe, bathroom-safe, etc.)
ᵔᴥᵔ Mirror & Glass Cleaner
- (Though 50:50 vinegar + water does this very well)
ᵔᴥᵔ Canned Air for electronics
ᵔᴥᵔ Screen Wipes / Screen Cleaner
ᵔᴥᵔ Essential or Fragrance Oils
- These do not CLEAN they're to make things smell nice, and be sure to check which ones are compatible with YOUR pets
ᵔᴥᵔ Fabric Scent things (sprays, rinses, beads, etc)
ᵔᴥᵔ Color Safe Fabric Sanitizer
ᵔᴥᵔ Dishwasher detergents & Rinse additives (if you've got one)
ᵔᴥᵔ Washing Machine Cleaners
- If your machine works with these AND you have them in home, but honestly, hot water + a baking soda scrub + rinse + vinegar will do this too
ᵔᴥᵔ Laundry Stain Remover Pre-treatment (tide pens work pretty well here tbh)
ᵔᴥᵔ Niche fabric detergents (woolite, delicates detergent, etc)
ᵔᴥᵔ Drain Cleaner/Liquid plunger
ᵔᴥᵔ Citric Acid or other hardwater problem solver if you have hardwater issues
≽^•⩊•^≼ The Routines ≽^•⩊•^≼
Daily Maintenance ♡ Because it's easier to keep clean than get clean
- Your mom and that navy admiral guy on all of the inspirational vertical shorts accounts were correct. It starts your day off correctly with an accomplishment and it makes your room look better
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have in unit laundry and a load, start it before class/work/etc
ᵔᴥᵔ Do dishes as you cook or right after eating
- if it's full, smelly, wet, etc, take it out on your way out of the house
ᵔᴥᵔ Switch your load from the morning into the dryer or onto a drying rack
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick sweep of clutter and things where they don't belong back into their rightful places
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick run through with a broom/dust mop/swiffer/stick vac (your surface level quick cleaning method for hair, crumbs, dust, and dirt)
ᵔᴥᵔ Dishes, get that sink cleared nightly and wipe it down and a quick pass over your prep surfaces (you can literally take your wet sponge from doing dishes, wring it out, and take a hand towel after it)
- it's the same concept as making the bed in the morning, so that you start and end your day with an accomplishment
ᵔᴥᵔ Put away any laundry you did that day, pull out and prep your outfit for the next day (iron/steam out wrinkles, hit it with a lint roller doesn't have to be perfect, doesn't even have to be starched, just presentable and not looking like you grabbed it out of the laundry pile and slept in it)
ᵔᴥᵔ As Part of your evening hygiene routine, wipe down the bathroom sink for toothpaste worms, makeup dust, etc. Grime will build up quick in bathrooms
Keep In Mind: These are all 2–10 minute tasks, totaling about 30 minutes to an hour of maintenance per day.
Doing these small resets cuts your deeper weekly cleaning from 6–8 exhausting hours down to 2–3 manageable hours.
This isn’t about perfection.
This isn’t about being a Stepford wife.
This is about saving time, energy, and effort for Future You, so she’s not stuck doing disaster recovery every Saturday.
The "Adulting" Midi Cleans (1-2x weekly) ♡ for a little more heft (1 hour max in addition to above daily)
ᵔᴥᵔ Run the Vacuum, just... hit the open floors, should take you maybe 10 minutes per room assuming fairly large rooms, my entire apartment takes me about 20 minutes and 30 minutes if I'm wrestling with the stairs, and I only do stairs once a week
ᵔᴥᵔ Quick scrub the toilet, just a quick inside the bowl with the toilet brush, swirl (not even 90 seconds)
ᵔᴥᵔ Hit all the kitchen and bathroom countertops with a quick wipe without moving your knife block, spice rack, etc. (3-5 minutes a room)
These are your touch up cleans, Not your deep cleans, not your maintenance cleans
The Weekly Reset ♡ 2-3 Hours Active Time
ᵔᴥᵔ Strip the bed and throw the linens in the wash (Pillowcases, sheets, duvet covers, mattress pad/protector)
- Blankets and comforters that don't have a cover should be laundered monthly, covers and sheets should be laundered weekly, and inserts should be laundered every 3-6 months
ᵔᴥᵔ Gather any dishes that didn't get caught in the daily sweeps
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have hard floors: Mop and dry with a towel (a towel under the feet works great for this and you can use your dirty towel from the bathroom)
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have carpet: use carpet powder or baking soda on freshly vacuumed carpets and let it set while you clean the rest of the house, then vacuum again at the end
ᵔᴥᵔ Remake the bed with clean linens (either the ones you just stripped, or a secondary set)
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe mirrors and surfaces
ᵔᴥᵔ Dust frames and bookshelves
ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy Nightstands, put books away, etc
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten Drawers and closet
ᵔᴥᵔ Clean Makeup and Skincare Brushes/Sponges
ᵔᴥᵔ Launder towels, washcloths, and bathmats
ᵔᴥᵔ wipe down toilet exterior, toilet seat, sink, and tub with lysol or bleach solution
ᵔᴥᵔ Scrub any necessary stains away
ᵔᴥᵔ Chemically clean toilet bowl (lysol or bleach into the bowl, then scrub with toilet brush)
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten throw blankets and throw pillows
ᵔᴥᵔ Sort Mail into shred, address, and file
ᵔᴥᵔ Clear your junk mail tab in your email
ᵔᴥᵔ Empty digital and real recycle bins
ᵔᴥᵔ Hit upholstery with a lint roller
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe Down surfaces, cooktop, and oven; move knife blocks,spice racks, and small appliances as needed
ᵔᴥᵔ Thoroughly clean any small appliances like toasters, coffee makers, or air fryers
ᵔᴥᵔ Check fridge for expired goods, wipe down one shelf (rotate which shelf you wipe down through the month)
ᵔᴥᵔ Check freezer and scrape frost if necessary
ᵔᴥᵔ Wipe the microwave out with a damp cloth if you have a microwave
ᵔᴥᵔ Sweep leaves, dirt, and gravel from front step, shake out welcome mats and entry rugs
ᵔᴥᵔ Tidy your shoe rack if you have one
ᵔᴥᵔ If you have dogs, now is the time to clean up poop in a back yard.
ᵔᴥᵔ Straighten up outerwear, "dump tray", and purse/bag
ᵔᴥᵔ Check the car for random fast food trash or general clutter
It's not your fault if no one taught you any of this, that's okay. I had to teach myself a lot of this, so I'm sharing this to help you learn so that you don't have to struggle through trial and error like I did. My asks are always open for your unique challenges and home keeping struggles and I hope this helped!