thinking of you

I’m…not sure what I want to be, honestly. But maybe, yeah. Back home in Minnesota, maybe? Boys usually just give me that…look of terror, like how dare I expect a relationship in high school to have the potential to be forever. And it’s not…I mean, why would you get into a relationship at all if you just expect that it’s going to end? So he’s like Batman? He should come tell you that we’re “on the outs” because ew, how have you not – did you just say that you get…Oh. Does the cool help with…? Um. Thanks? I think? Um. You just…you have a really cute smile, and when I see it…I don’t know, it just makes me blush. It makes me crush on you a little. Oh gosh, please don’t repeat that!

My parents were high school sweethearts, so I definitely believe in that kind of thing. If you connect with someone, you shouldn’t be afraid of that, even if you plan on going in different directions in life. There’s always going to be chemistry, so you might as well just roll with it. You seem really awkward with this conversation, so I’ll just give you a simple yes to every question you’re trying to ask me. Oh. Ohh. Crush on me? Wow, that’s new. I don’t hear that very often, you must be a little delusional. My smile makes you crush on me? Guess I should do it more often, huh?

Well at least it’ll get you out of your room. Sure, you’ll be frustrated, but you’ll be frustrated outside your room. Chipotle delivery is the bomb dot com, I must agree. Although, sometimes I feel really bad about myself when I get stuff delivered. I feel super lazy and like I’m the scum of the Earth because I’m gonna turn out to be super obese and mooching off my parents because I can’t walk anywhere because I’m…well, super obese. Sorry, that got a lil bit off track, but y’know what I mean. We could go to the pet shop and look at dogs if that’d make you feel better. Or I could get down on all fours and bark at you. Whichever you prefer - or neither, feel free to pick neither, too. Ah, that does suck. But hey - at least you don’t have to worry about your future for a few more months. 

That’s what people with problems say. Three days could’ve turned into four. People with problems also try to be optimistic as a way to hide that they have a problem. At least, that’s what I say about my Wendy’s addiction. Wait, why was I not told about this pool? Ohh, Ly- um, yeah, you can vent to me later, you know. I’ll try not to ask but it might slip out if I see a sad face. I don’t want you to be upset, it sucks and your cute bunny dimples deserve to prosper. 

I don’t actually have a problem! I’m just trying to live my life, I guess. Wendy’s is really hard to be addicted to because that shit’s expensive. I’m a regular fast-food junkie, so I would know. That and Chipotle are some high quality dollar bills. Yes. Him. Thank you for reminding me. I’m not a sad face kind of guy, I’m just a dimple faced kind of guy. So, I want you to see that instead of the sad one. If I look sad, just remind me that bunnies should have dimples.

Oh my gosh, it was a joke! I don’t want kids until at least I have my art degree. And I’d need a boyfriend first, well, a husband, but it turns out if you say that to people they think you’re crazy, so I’m just going to stick with boyfriend. Nope. I don’t even really know what it’s about, except some mobster who kills a lot of people? Isn’t it violent? Um, I think soap actually helps you like get water into your skin deeper or something, but I’m not sure. I still think you should use some. Maybe turn your pool into a big bubble bath next time. Wait, who takes a five minute shower? And I would not stare!  Stop it! Now you’re just doing it on purpose!

Oh, art, huh? I see that. You want to be a teacher or something? Because I think that’s what I plan on doing. An English teacher, actually. I think that having a husband is still pretty significant, even if a lot of people don’t. The commitment is completely necessary. Well, okay, yes and no-- he’s a mobster in his mob family, but they only kill people who deserve justice. People go to The Godfather in search of justice for their loved ones and people who have done them wrong, and sometimes they don’t kill them, but let them know that someone is on the outs with them. It’s violent, but in a really good way. Okay, well I’ve been doing this for the past like, two months and I’m okay. I do shower in my shower, but for a quick fix of the bedhead and morning wood that sometimes occurs, it’s just best to jump in a nice, cool pool. Again, I take five minute showers just for solving those two problems. Oh, you’re actually saying that you wouldn’t stare? Because I can admit to you that I totally would be. Doing what on purpose? I’m doing nothing but giving you a nice, warm smile. At least I have all my teeth.

“Welcome to my life, man. Maybe you could try and solve a rubik’s cube whilst numbing your mind with movies? That’s what I do when I feel like I’m becoming a sloth. Here’s a tip, though; if you have wraps or pita bread in your kitchen, just rip those up and put them in the oven for like ten minutes. Viola! Instant pita chips. They’re not quite the same as chips, but you can dip them in shit which is good enough in my books. Make your own Starbucks as well. Just look up the recipe online. I’m sure someone’s gotten access to that shit by now. As for the puppy situation - I can’t really help you with that, seeing as I’m…well, a human. Aw, dude, you’re repeating? Well, now you’re stuck with me. And a bunch of other losers. At least you’ll be super smart this year. You’ll know all the answers to the tests and stuff, lucky duck.”

That would only frustrate me to the point of leaving my room, I guess. Which would end up being for my best interest, but I’d rather not let my rage interfere with any of my relationships and other duties that I’m completely neglecting. Oh, wow, that’s a pretty good tip. For the past three days, I’ve been really taking advantage of the Chipotle delivery. It’s pretty expensive, but I think it’s actually genius and worth it. I do see that you’re a human, and it kind of upsets me that not everyone is a dog right now. They can look like them, but they can’t actually be them. Uh, yeah. I didn’t get all my credits because I had a family issue, and they’re making me go until second semester. Kind of sucks, but I don’t care. At least I’m doing something, right? 

Wait, finally change your clothes? You need an intervention. Your laziness and boredom has gotten out of control. You’re always tan, that doesn’t count, and you are still a hermit. Oh, what ha- sorry! It’s like a reflex to ask that when someone tells me they’re sad. Let me dream that bunnies have dimples, Jeans. 

It’s only been like... three days. That’s really not that bad! Out of control... I don’t think so. It could be way worse. And yes, I’m always tan, but I’m more tan right now because I go outside and sit by my pool sometimes. I’m just upset about another person, I guess. I’m in love with someone. Aw, that’d be pretty cute, not going to lie.