dedicated to a marine

welcome home sir 😍

words of affirmation

I've read many blogs about the roller coaster that is deployment in hopes of understanding what it is I'm feeling better. It's helped in some ways but in others, it hasn't because our situation is different. You left on a bad note. And as angry as I was at you, my heart still hurt because I love you and I knew being without you for over half of a year would be hard. I've been missing you so much while you've been gone but just because we hadn't talked about it in awhile, the pain you've caused is still there. We are coming up on four months since you've been gone. I'm supposed to be happy we are passed the halfway point. I'm supposed to be excited that we are in the final stretch. But I'm not... You wrote me today saying you know you've taken a certain joy away from me and it's twisting you up inside to see it in fruition. Honestly, I don't know how to respond to that. These tough conversations and low emotions, accordingly to the blogs, are supposed to come closer to when you finally get to come home. But it's happening now... What does this all even mean? I hate that I'm resentful. Both towards you and your job. You got to put our life on hold and leave... but what you failed to realize is you actually just shifted your responsibilities and it's more weight on my shoulders now. People truly underestimate not only the strength, but also the burden that milso's have and carry. I am trying to be strong. Today is one of those days where it's a little bit hard.

gram'd it so you know it's real

Either you're being really sweet or you're trying to tell me to eat healthier... 🤔 Thank you for thinking of me either way ❤️

I get it - things are hard over there. I'm not naive to what you're doing in your line of work. I understand emotions don't process like normal and the things you see and do make it difficult to "feel." Now with that being said... why does that justify using me as your punching bag? And when I get upset with you, you hide behind your deployment as a means to not take ownership over your actions. I can't be positive and optimistic anymore. I'm angry all of the time and I've never felt this way ever in my life. We are both too old for these stupid ass games. Get over yourself.

Has it really been only one month?! 😭😞

just remember, you promised

but which is the most important? it's hard to say because you're gone. the six month countdown starts now.