゛ about me / this account ⸝⸝.ᐟ⋆

this is my side (but primary) blog, im also @candeecain

‧₊˚ ┊ hiii!! i’ll go by nora — blk blogger — she pronouns — 2005 virgo! been an on and off kpop stan for like a decade atp, a 2nd gen d rider unfortunately.. a ggs stan + SM boy groups!

‧₊˚ ┊ never say never but in the meantime, this will probably be a page exclusive to riize!! this is my first time in YEARS publishing fics/one shots/drabbles online and i’m actually going to pursue it this time, though i’m still trying to get the hang of it while still having fun lol.. so if you have any tips/criticisms PLEASE let me know, obviously not professional lolol (｡>﹏<)

THIS BLOG CONTAINS NSFW TALK.

‧₊˚ ┊ i’ll probably dabble in both smut and fluff, but if you have an issue to sexual/darker (?) content dni please! unsure about the topics i’ll limit myself to yet, but fs will never write about pedophilia or scat.

‧₊˚ ┊ feel free to interact!! would love to talk with people here, im into so many things and i LOVE music so don’t hesitate (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )

current repeat~

basic dnis, racism etc.

dni if you indulge with ai/ai content.

current library ⋮

1. unconditional [anton, 680 words]

2. covet [anton, 1.3k words]

3. don’t apologize [wonbin, 2.8k words]

4. vermin [series, anton, ongoing]

5. shy tears [sungchan, 5.9k words]

6. assertion [anton, 2.5k words]

long fiction story coming soon… (?) anton x reader college au

^^FINALLY PUBLISHED!!! working to finish!

filler in the meantime, gemme inspo ( ܸ. .)՞՞

divider @ suupersonic

“your place is nice”

“you say that every time you’re here” anton says, smiling down at you as you both linger in the kitchen area.

you couldn’t help but to repeat yourself every time you were here, it was in fact nice, really nice. a luxurious top-of-the-line sleek open penthouse. everything looked designer, custom, featuring a beautiful view of the city. the balcony was spacious, occupied with all the things you could ask for, including a pool that stretched all across it.

anton was having a great gathering with a bunch of people, some you knew, some you didn’t, but that never mattered, the two of you would always end up drifting from the crowd anyways.

much like now, standing isolated by the massive kitchen island having nothingburger conversations. it never matter what the topic was, it was always cool just talking with him. from the relatively short time that you knew him, anton always was a genuine guy, but talks always ended the same. you know.

he’d have passionate conversations about something he was interested in, or beg you to tell him something about your life, and always end it off with a kiss. which always led to more.

and you guys weren’t necessarily together.. but he did seem pretty exclusive to you, giving you intimate affection and calling you over to his place to ‘talk’, maybe you guys never pushed it further because what you two had seemed perfect as is, but the lack of labels did leave you confused—bothered.

loud chatter had filled the entire apartment, it’s alive with some playing games, others dancing—and everyone was getting drunk. bottles and cups were being chugged and passed around, and not that you minded, but the environment was all getting a bit overwhelming, and anton could sense that.

“wanna get some fresh air?” his voice sweet as he leaned closer to your face. you exhale and nod your head quickly, following behind him like a loyal dog as he leads you outside through the glass doors.

the night time breeze immediately relaxes you, taking a deep breath as soon as you're out the door. it really is nice to be with him, alone, and most of the glass had self-installed curtains covering them, making the balcony feel even more private. “what’s on your mind”

“nothing” you respond quickly, smiling at his constant awareness. he closes space to hug you, wrapping his arms around your upper back tightly, laying his face against your head as you automatically lean into it, placing your hands comfortably against his chest as he squeezes you.

“why are you always lying to me” he asked softly as he continues to smoosh your body. you can’t help but to let out a giggle, finally moving to pushing yourself away to look up at him, “i’m not, you’re being ridiculous”

you tried to seem nonchalant, forcing your words to sound convincing, but the way he’s looking at you seems like he doesn’t believe shit.

you sigh, rolling your eyes, “stop, i promise i’m okay” you insisted when he continued to give you that stare.

anton then smirked, walking you backwards as he leaned down to kiss you.

you didn’t care to think about how he was moving you, his kisses always so memorizing making you feel bliss.. just for peace to be interrupted once he shoves you into the pool.

for the split second of realizing the reality, you feel as if you’re trying to reach out for him, but once the water made the loud crash noise, it was too late. clothes soaked and your nose stinging ever so slightly.

“what the fuck anton?!” you spat, spitting out the water from your mouth, pushing your hair back with both hands.

“looks like you’re gonna have to take off your clothes.. bummer..”

at least someone finds this funny.. anton chuckles at you while he unbuckles his belt, staring at you struggling to wipe water from your face.

he then pushes his pants down completely, quickly kicking them off before reaching for his shirt. he was undressing so quickly you couldn’t even think of leaving the pool—you just stared up at him as you ringed water out of your hair.

when he takes his shirt off you swim backwards, trying to make your staring less obvious as he stands in nothing but briefs.

he wiggles his brows before jumping in, making a big splash as his body hits the water, you instinctively looking away as you try to avoid the wave from hitting your face.

he’s always been a fast swimmer, his body only submerged for half a second before he tugs at your waist, your movements not quick enough to escape.

anton lifts his head causing you to squeal, more water being forced onto your face. “it’s too late, take off your clothes” he says, his voice hoarse and needy.

“you’re disgusting..”

“i can’t have a quick swim with my girl?”

“your girl?” you repeated with a challenging tone, letting out a sarcastic laugh while raising your brow at him.

he responds by closing the gap between the two of you, kissing you deep and messy, you tasting him through the faint chlorine. the grip on your waist getting tighter as he slowly pushes you back against the pool wall edge, near the shallower end so both of you could stand.

you can’t help but to snake your arms around his neck, tilting your head and pulling him deeper, humming against his lips. the cool water sloshes around you continuously, but your body is somehow getting hot.

he goes to tug at your shirt, the wet cloth clinging to your chest. he tries to pull it up for you, but you stop him, huffing in his face, “what if they see us?”

“they won’t”

“they will”

“they’re drunk”

“what does that have to do with anything?” you said cautiously, whispering low.

anton’s hands slid down to your ass, tucking his hands into your pants to push them down seamlessly as he spoke, “you trust me right?”

you stare for a moment before nodding, biting your lip softly as he grips your legs, moving them up to fully take off your pants.

“i promise you, no one will see, they’re all too busy to notice we’re gone anyways” he coos, throwing your pants out the water. you nod, whispering an ‘okay’ as he places a hand back on your leg, pulling you closer to him while he slips the other into your panties.

you embarrassingly let out a soft moan as he circled his fingers around your slippery entrance, flustered that you were this wet, even underwater.

he chuckled arrogantly in your face, not saying a word as he watched you hold back, your face getting flushed with a deep rosé. his eyes were intimidating, dark with lust, it getting worse every time you accidentally let a desperate whine slip out.

you move your hands to grip his shoulder, hating the tease, “please.. anton..”

“what?” his voice was so low, the smug look on his face never leaving. he pushed two fingers past your barrier making you gasp, your breath shaky.

“please i-i..” you clench immediately around his fingers, the slight stretch feeling more harsh underwater, but you loved it, craving what it feels like with his cock.

but he just stared, waiting for you to complete your sentence as his fingers continued to pump heavy, sluggish. you try to steady your breathing, gripping harder onto his shoulder as you try to focus. “i-i need you so bad right now please.. please..” you managed to choke out.

“you’re disgusting” he taunted, snickering before swiftly pulling out his dick, then pulling both your legs to wrap them around his waist. he forced his mouth onto yours, pushing his tongue down while he forced your panties to the side, raising you slightly, his hands now harsh on your hips while he lined himself up.

you let go of the kiss and whimpered quietly as you felt the pressure of his tip entering. he slowly sinked you down in one smooth movement, the full stretch making you tense up, digging your nails into him to ground yourself.

he pauses for a quick moment, resting his forehead against yours to let you adjust only to unexpectedly raise you again and force you back down.

you were going to cry out, the thrust hostile, too much to handle in the water, but he swiftly pushed a hand over your mouth, muffling your sound, “baby you wanna get caught?”

you grip around him hard at his words, the adrenaline turning the arduous feeling into a gratifying one. he never halts, the water splashing as he continues the powerful pace, you sobbing against his hand, unable to shallow your cries.

“so tight.. for me.. fuck i love when i make you like this..” he started babbling, unable to control himself. you had a death grip on his arms, continuously moving your hands down his shoulders to his biceps, marking your territory.

you were already getting close, the feeling somehow getting more intense, everything feeling overwhelming yet euphoric. even the thought of anyone looking made you tingle, the worry completely out of your system.

anton was even starting to get unstable, speeding up and grunting, stuttering random praises along with your name, “y/n.. you’re so g-good.. sso good.. just for me..”

your muscles seized up tight, almost painfully as he continued to pound into your pussy. you rolled your eyes closed, squeezing your eyes hard as he fucks you through the best orgasm he’s ever given you. you could see white dots appearing even with your eyes shut.

he starts to almost whimper, slowly down tremendously before giving you one last slam, the water licking your bodies while you feel his warm cum releasing inside you even through the numbness.

your hands shake against his arm, your core tender and your breathing erratic through the nose as his hand stays over your mouth while he collects himself, his cock still buried deep.

the harsh hand on your hip slowly travels up, him kneading your boob through your cold shirt, your cleavage beneath it exposed, the air making the shirt sheer and cling. he lets go of your mouth, sliding that hand to cup your face, “i’m sorry baby”

you let out an exhausted shaky breath, shaking your head no while you move to grip his hair, grounding yourself, trying your best to stay conscious.

anton gives you a sweet delicate kiss, lips smacking at the disconnect before he starts to move you, carrying you towards the steps, your legs still wrapped around him making the journey easy. you lay your head on his shoulder, your eyes still closed, your body drained, weak. he was whispering sweet nothings into your ear, but you couldn’t comprehend a word.

surprisingly, he walks you out of the pool, the cool air on your full body making you shiver, gaining a little bit of your senses.

he stops by a lounge chair attempting to lay you down, but your grasp gets tight, hugging him hard, hoping he’d understand. and he does, chuckling at you as he turns around, gently sinking down onto the chair, leaning back while keeping you on top.

you sigh at the comfort, nuzzling your head against his chest. his hand traces your spine underneath your soggy shirt, caressing your bare back.

you both lay in comfortable silence, your breathing syncing up, the rise of his chest almost lulling you to sleep before he had pulled out, causing you to unexpectedly moan softly at the loss.

anton suddenly starts to chat, letting you get relaxed again before he does,”y/n, i really like you”

“i sure hope so” you joked, your tone drowsy. he starts to toy with your hair and you can almost sense his nervousness.

“no, i mean i really, really like you..”

once you register his words, you lift your head, peering into his eyes. he nervously inhales, trying to hold eye contact as he chokes on his words.

he eventually chuckles at himself, smiling while rubbing the side of his face, “you’re making me nervous..”

“say it” you tease, a big smirk growing on your face.

you can hear him swallow hard, his eyes focusing on his hand that is now twisted in your hair while he starts to splutter.

“i.. i really enjoy being around you.. a-and not just for sex.. obviously.. i mean it’s ggreat but.. i don’t know, i sound stupid..” he sighs

“no you don’t” you say, your smile bright, your cheeks almost hurting as you slide your hand to touch his face, rubbing his skin with your thumb. he hums quietly at the contact, sounding a bit more relieved.

“i’ve never felt this way about anyone before.. y-you actually listen to me unlike these assholes and you come when i call, no hesitation, and i’m so grateful for that y/n..”

his ramble makes your vision blurry, tears threatening to fall, your lip slightly trembling.

“you’re just so patient with me and god- it’s pathetic but.. i think about you all the time.. it’s-it’s like you’re my first ever crush or something,” he laughs at himself, “it’s so bad i don’t even know how to act..”

you breathe out a chuckle, sniffling, forcing your eyes down, unable to look at him any longer as the tears continue to threaten to spill.

anton is quiet for a quick moment before pushing the words out, making you dart up again, not caring if you cry.

“i love you, i really do, and i don’t want you to think i’m using you or anything..”

his voice was so small, tender, his eyes actually meeting your glossy gaze, watching you as the tears flow. you smile weakly, blinking away the blur from your vision, feeling a weight being lifted.

you jolt forward, giving continuous pecks all over his face, giggling in between.

you then rest your forehead against his, sandwiching his face with your hands, both of you smiling big, “is there anything else?”

“like what?” he says provokingly, the smug look returning.

you roll your eyes playfully, biting your lip, “do i have to ask?”

anton snakes his arms to hug you, crushing you against his body, “y/n.. will you be my girlfriend?”

you can’t help but to kiss him again, letting it linger while also being unable to stop smiling against his lips. the kiss felt different, it gave you extreme butterflies, making a feeling grow in the pit of your stomach.

“i love you” you affirm, keeping your face close to his.

“so does that mean we’re a thing now?”

you giggle, nodding your head eagerly, whispering a yes, needing him now more than ever, “can we sneak to your room now..?”

જ⁀➴ intro + current library

divider @ suupersonic

part three⁀➴༯ wc ⋮ 9881

complete silence fills the space, not even an echo was heard, but you break the silence, making soft noises as you stretch while rustling the sheets.

warmth and leather fill your senses, the smell light and the blanket relaxing. but the relaxed feeling doesn’t last long, a slight pressure forming in your head, positioned behind your eyes. it’s nothing crazy but still evident enough to cause you to become more alert.

you rub your forehead while leisurely looking around the room—it was dark, only a bit of natural light peeking through at the very bottom of his dark colored shades. every door in his room was closed, zero lights peeking, leaving you to assume you were alone.

you see a note by your handbag, in writing ‘take my car’ with a pair of keys sitting next to it. memories start to flood back as you reread to register the three words. god..

you swear last night had felt like a dream, but the ache from the light bruises that laid on your thighs started to become noticeable, the feeling telling you otherwise as a heat wave covers your face. you sigh deeply and rub your face again, feeling a bit.. conflicted? but it doesn’t matter.

you don’t want it to matter, you force it not to matter, so it doesn’t matter. you push yourself off the bed and fix it up quickly, grabbing your clothes from beneath his bed with keys and handbag in hand before unlocking and leaving the room.

you hesitately walk down the long mile, feeling like the hallway went on forever before finally reaching the stairs. there was not a single soul around. trash was everywhere, furniture and decor disheveled, you felt bad for whoever was going to clean this up.. maybe you could come back and help sungchan, but that thought was shattered immediately as before you even got to the front door, four women came barging in.

it spooked you at first, stumbling back as you watched the four of them pushing in two big trash cans and the most massive vacuums you’ve ever seen. they kept hauling in more cleaning supplies without giving you any notice, so you just gently walked past them, giving them a quick ‘hello’, though none of them responded. they didn’t even seem to care or be shocked that a random was just in the house. you wondered how long these women serviced this house specifically, what things they might’ve seen.

you walked down the driveway while rubbing your eyes from the harsh sunlight beaming almost directly above you, how late was it?

you spot his mustang and quickly hop in the drivers side, melting into his seat as you let out a sigh. the car smelt so fresh, yet his smell seemed to be permanent in anything he touched. you dug into your handbag to finally check your phone, taken aback at how it’s already almost 3PM..

you type fast as you try to acknowledge every text you received—

*sohee*

“checking in :)”

“dang you’re sleeping late are you at the house?”

“we didn’t even get to hang last night 😢”

“who was landi talking about anyways 🤨🤨👀👀”

“i gave her your number btw..”

*Unknown*

“I HARASSED SOHEE FOR YOUR NUMBER”

“ITS ME”

“WAS HE GOOD????”

“DAMN HE PUT YOUR ASS TO SLEEP LMFAO 😭”

—landi and sohee shot you a couple short texts while natalie blew up your phone last night, continuous texts and missed calls up until 8AM. and even though half of the messages seemed meaningless and random, clearly just drunken texts, it still made you a bit anxious. you tried to call back, but it went to voicemail, so you started the car and headed home.

you were never a ‘driving’ type.. much prefering your friends to chauffeur, so hopefully you don’t fuck his car up..

after a tense speedy bumpy drive, you finally arrived at the apartment, everything gratefully intact. you pat yourself on the back and quickly hop out, dragging your feet as you enter the building.

thoughts were nonstop running through your mind, the memory of last night causing the headache to become somehow worse. you didn’t understand why you were feeling this way, you’ve had noncommittal.. relations before, but for some reason you couldn’t brush this specific emotion off.

and when you walked into the lobby, who you saw made you even more tense, “how do you know where i live?”

anton looks up from his phone as he stood right next to the elevator, looking you up and down before giving you a questionable smirk, “i’m visiting a friend”

you raise a brow at his glare, “what does that mean?”

“nothing,” he lightly chuckles, “i really am visiting someone. was. looks like the world wants us together again”

you nod, humming sarcastically with your arms crossed against your chest. he leisurely steps closer while putting his phone in a pocket, his height causing you to gradually look up.

the only people in the lobby are the two of you—plus the young receptionist who seemingly dozed off—you unconsciously push your arms tightly against your chest, your nerves getting to you.

“how do you know where i live” you whisper, though still trying to sound opposing.

“i already told you.” he affirmed with authority, your face getting hot by his presence.

you break eye contact and avert your gaze down, huffing as you slightly shuffle in place.

anton teasingly tugs at the side of your shirt before moving both his hands slowly to grip onto your waist. “you look pretty in this” he says in a hushed tone, almost secretive.

“stop” you nervously chuckle, your eyes now staring down at a hand, seeing his thumbs move in antagonizing sluggish circles.

after what felt like eternity, you look up at him again, moving an arm to move your hand in front of his face, showing him his keys in between your first two fingers. “i need to go..” you say hushed

his smug look never leaves as he slightly tilts his head and hums before pulling his hands away from your body, taking the keys then shoving his hands in his pockets. he wastes no time to leave, only saying “see you around” before walking away. once you hear the doors open then close you let out a loud sigh, your hand immediately going to rub the side of your head.

shake it off y/n.. you think, standing there in the empty lobby before finally getting the energy to move, quickly heading to the elevator.

it takes no time before you’re at natalie’s door, frantically digging into your handbag for the key. you rushed into the unit, maybe quicker than you anticipated, causing your sister to give you a worrying glance. she stood right by the entrance, in the kitchen area with the fridge wide open.

“are you okay..?” she faltered, sleep evident in her tone and eyes. you stand frozen, blinking, and for some reason surprised to see her at her own place.

you shallow hard, forcing yourself to respond, “uh yeah.. sorry for getting here late..”

you start to head off to your room before natalie closes the fridge door hard, “did something happen??” her voice sounding much more alert.

“no no no i promise, i just need a shower..” you splutter as you continue to walk, practically sprinting. you enter and close your door, immediately dropping your old clothes and handbag, letting them hit the floor as you swiftly shove his shirt over your head, feeling an immediate weight lifted off your shoulders once it’s off.

you throw it across the room, not caring where it lands. while rubbing your face again, the door swings open, only briefly before slamming shut again, “shit, sorry!”

“we’re sisters, it's fine..” you giggle softly, falling into your bed for a moment, lying on your back shirtless, unable to feel embarrassed as the other feeling is eating at your mind.

“tell me what’s wrong you’re making me feel bad,” natalie speaks playfully through the door, “you’re bad at hiding your emotions”

there’s a pause, a long one.

“god.. i think i’m in love..”

your brain rushes out the uncertain thought before you can catch it, thinking aloud, unsure if she was still by the door.

it came out quiet, but not quiet enough, turns out she was yes, in fact, still by the door.

“WHAT? y/n please don’t tell me it’s sungchan..”

you blurt out a laugh, shaking your head at her constant disapproval, “no. it’s not.”

she cracks the door open, “cover your titties i want to come in”

you listen, giggling and shifting, sitting against the headboard and pulling the blanket over your body before she enters. natalie hesitantly walks closer and sits on the edge of the bed, her eyes to the floor.

she starts bluntly, “good sex doesn’t mean love y/n.”

“i know that but this was.. different?”

“how”

you choke on your own words before letting out a defeated sigh, “i don’t know..”

“i just don’t want you to be fooled, you don’t even know the person, you literally just got here” she breathed out a chuckle, turning to finally look at you, giving you a small smile.

“what’s their name” natalie’s question finally lets the embarrassment flood back to you, becoming too nervous to speak. you shove your face into the blanket, “i’m scared..”

“well if you’re scared then how can it be ‘love’?” she giggles sarcastically, getting up from the edge of the bed and slowly walking towards you. you lift your face and let the side of your head rest on your knees as you look up at her.

“i’m telling you right now please watch out for who you mess with.. the charismatic ones are the worse ones believe me..”

you breathe out a chuckle, smiling up at your sister as she touches your shoulder, squeezing it and patting it gently before her face turns, cringing as she touches your neck.

you quickly shift your shoulders at the sting sensation, realizing your potent markings.

“ew.” she replies, chuckles before walking closer to the door causing you to get slightly red.

natalie looks down to the floor where your clothes were for a noticeable moment before looking back up to you. you can’t tell what that was, but it was probably nothing.

“i’ll leave you alone.. but you know you can come to me right?” she says softly, holding onto the door knob. you shake your head yes, your smile growing as you stare at your sister.

“stop looking like that.. protect yourself please.” she says as she walks out and gently closes the door. you sigh in content, feeling less.. weird. good sex doesn’t mean love.. that’s all it is.. good sex aftermath.. yeeaaaah..

you comfort yourself with the words as you finally get up and head to the shower, rubbing the embarrassing hickey on your neck.

a week goes by and you feel great, school has finally started and you’re already half way through your first day. during the past week you’ve done your best not thinking about a certain someone.. carrying on as usual—messaging and hanging out with your new found friends, even getting the chance to chill with natalie occasionally. it was awkward at times, but it also somehow felt easy, this feeling being the first ever.

currently, you sit inside a sandwich shop nearby campus eating lunch with sohee and sungchan.

sohee was easy to find, spotting him in the library hibernating, hoarding himself in a corner resting his eyes with books and papers scattered around him. you had quietly sat next to him, waiting for him to eventually wake up, his startled reaction telling you he wasn’t just ‘resting’.

he needed to grab food and wanted to take you to this shop, the two of you eating peacefully for around ten minutes until sungchan came in to invade the table. so now the three of you chat about nonsense, light chuckles being exchanged throughout the easy conversation.

“so why haven’t you told us where you were last week” sungchan bluntly changes the subject, his face looking smug while he plays with his almost empty cup. sohee sighs and rolls his eyes, “god you’re still on this?”

“she’s just so suspicious about it duh i’m gonna stay curious”

your body heats up immediately, a nervous smile spreading across your face. sungchan has been bringing it up all week, begging for hints so he can discover the ‘mystery man’ who ‘made’ you discard his party. the vagueness you’ve been purposely giving him isn’t necessarily helping either, causing him to be more annoying about it.

“if she wanted to tell you she would've already” sohee says defeated, clearly uninterested in the investigation.

“does landi know?” sungchan continues to push, leaning his body towards you, completely ignoring sohee. you just shrug your shoulders, slowly chewing as you pick at your almost finished sandwich.

“bro you’re too old for this” sohee chuckles lightly, getting up from the table and crumbling his trash. you don’t respond to the question and follow sohee’s movements before throwing your trash away and following him out the door.

sungchan had rushed behind the two of you, “is he being nonchalant because he already knows??”

you shake your head while breathing out a laugh, “no” you say simply.

he continues to blabber as you and sohee head back to campus, sungchan joking that you ‘betrayed his love’.

you couldn’t tell him, you couldn’t tell them, even if you wanted to, it’s just too hard for you to admit for some reason, especially with the knowledge that he lives with the guy.

“i’ll find out by thursday, date for the next party and he’ll obviously be there.. or s-she!”

you laugh at sungchan’s unnecessary nervousness as he adds to his sentence, “very inclusive. who says i’m going to be there?”

“stop with this game, you're going to be there.” sungchan affirms, causing you to chuckle at him again. he drops the subject for now, but it probably won’t be long until he hints at it again.

“you coming with me?” sohee asks kindly as he starts to turn towards the direction of the library. you shake your head no while sighing, wishing you could, “i got a class in 15”

he smacks his teeth, “please don’t leave me alone”

“you’re not alone” sungchan smiles brightly, but you and sohee just stare, sohee rolling his eyes then moving his feet.

“i don’t get it, i’m trying to be super positive like you guys and i’m still not accepted.” he complained, following behind his good friend. you and sohee share a giggle before the both of them wave goodbye, you reciprocating before digging into your bag for your headphones.

you head over to your next class alone, leisurely walking as you listen to music on blast. you swiftly walk into the room, setting your bag on the floor as soon as you take a seat in the back, finally able to rest after the long walk.

you’ve been told that this class won’t have a high attendance, only just a nice handful of students of all grades. it intimidated you, sure, but you still were optimistic about this one, curious about the demographic.

so as you stretch while more bodies fill the room, your blood goes cold at the sight of one particular person. of course he’s here.. of course he’s in your smallest class.. of course he’s apart of that demographic..

anton walks in trailing behind two other guys, not seeming too interested about their conversation, and picks a seat closer to the front.

you stare at the back of his head for a moment as you awkwardly place your arms on the desk, then quickly look away, trying to seem as if you had never seen him in your life. god why am i acting so weird?? the answer still has yet to present itself to you, making you feel even more frustrated about it.

all the effort you put into trying not to continue thinking about his face this week all down the drain in seconds, his presence evident as you feel your lungs getting tight.

your feet anxiously bounce as you pick at your nails, GOD who cares?? you guys are adults, so it shouldn’t matter this much..

you try to brush it off, taking off your headphones, huffing as you shove them in your bag while the professor finally walks in. you lounge in your chair and do a good job avoiding his side of the room, listening attentively at the words spewing out of the professor’s mouth, letting the uninteresting noise distract you from this feeling.

but in a room of maybe fifteen people, you know that he knows you’re here, he has too, especially you being the type of student unafraid to ask questions and interact. and with that, it makes your anxiety almost unbearable, making you come off as a bit shy to the teacher.

but you still try your hardest to act nonchalant. act like he doesn’t exist. act like it doesn’t matter. and you do quite a good job considering the circumstance.

the class is now approaching its end and you still haven’t given it attention, refusing to look that way, but the burning sensation on the side of your face makes you want to give in. and you finally do. slightly.

only looking through your peripheral you see his face is turned, towards you? you can’t confirm, but you pray it’s not, your delusions telling you he’s just speaking to his peers.

but soon enough, the professor ends his class and waits for the needed students to leave.

you swiftly grab your bag and stroll down the short steps, the teacher giving you a friendly smile and trailing behind you as you both leave the class.

you thanked the gods that anton was one of the first to leave, him not being in sight as you left, but gratitude was cut short, jinxing yourself with the early hope.

“where are you going after this?” his presence startling you, he had waited right by the corner of the hallway, the only direction from the classroom to exit the building—or at least the easiest path to exit the building.

you stand frozen staring up at him, the grip on your bag getting tighter, your brain unable to process the simple question, “what..?”

“where are you going?” his calmness isn’t helping your anxiety, his question sounding genuinely serious, no teasing in his tone whatsoever.

“um.. i got one more class after this..” you hesitated while starting to walk again. he follows beside you, persisting with more, “will you be done by 2?”

“why?” your tone is a bit hushed, you slightly shake your head from confusion. but he just asks again, “will you be in the parking lot around 2.”

you sigh loudly, avoiding his question and gripping your bag even tighter, your face burning like it’s real fire. you reach for the door to head outside, but his arm comes blocking your way.

you look up at him annoyed, your eyes begging for answers as you lean on your hip and cross your arms. he puts his arm down and leans his back against the wall, his classic cocky look slowly forming on his face.

“why are you being shy around me?” he says, his eyes bore into you as he copies your position, crossing his own arms.

“i’m not” you try to say confidently, trying to remain in eye contact.

anton hums and smacks his teeth, looking down at the floor as he slowly nods his head.

he looks back at you with a smirk, your body feeling uncomfortable from the familiarity, “so yes or no”

in the short time you take to respond, your mind is in shambles. everything in you needs to say no, you’re clearly incapable of handling a guy like this in the long run—if they’ll even be a ‘long run’—with how you feel about him. this ‘crush’ shouldn’t exist, you don’t know him or what he’s done in past relationships, with the little you do know it should scare you off. he’s a fuck boy. you don’t want that do you?

but a sick part of your brain is intrigued.. interested in experiencing what he's offering, or at least interested in ‘seeing’ what he wants so badly at 2.

your brain will never let you forget that night, never forget that feeling.. you try to bury the cravings of his body against yours but you know you want it again, you need it again, you’re human after all with human needs.. so it shouldn’t be that terrible right?

you huff, reaching for your phone to look at the time, “..is 3 fine..?” you say almost like a whisper, giving him big eyes unconsciously.

his smirk grows into a full on smile, a devious one. “you know my car. i’ll be by the west building.” he says while forcing himself off the wall. he opens the door and walks out, holding it for you from the outside. you scurry out and give him a short thanks before he walks off, heading the opposite direction of you.

your school day officially ends, 2:35PM on the clock as you stroll around through different halls and centers. you didn’t need to be doing this, but you were stalling.

you text natalie, begging her to finish with her classes, but she doesn’t end until hours after you, leaving you without an excuse to ditch.

so you drag your feet through the hall heading towards the exit, no point in stalling when no one is going to save you.

“y/n!!”

you turn around towards the direction of the voice to see landi standing right outside a door, giving you a big smile as she seemingly unlocks the door.

you return the smile, a friendly warmth growing in your heart. you walk up towards her to greet, “finally! hey!”

“now i can kidnap you!” she says while taking your hand and bringing you into her dorm. the room was custom.. maybe a bit too custom for a college dorm. bright and girly decor all over the walls and ceiling, the wall where the door was was painted a nice pink, how has she gotten away with this?

she throws herself down on a massive bean bag, sinking in it as she exhales loudly, “you got class here?”

“no, just browsing i guess” you stand in the middle of the room letting your eyes examine everything.

“you can sit, please don’t be silly” landi lazily motioned towards her bed and you let out a soft breathy laugh as you pulled out her desk chair, turning it towards her before taking a seat.

landi rolled her eyes playfully and then stared at your face for a moment.

you look away from her glare, “you don’t have a roommate?” you ask, but she just giggles and puts her index finger to her mouth, doing the ‘shh’ motion.

“and how are you getting away with this??” you say in disbelief, raising a brow at her expression.

landi just shrugs her shoulders satirically, giving you a smirk that makes you desperately want to know, “don’t lead me on like this”

“i’ll tell you if you tell me what’s wrong” she wondered without hesitation.

you look back at her for a second before turning away again, letting a nervous giggle come out, “what?”

“you’re SO obvious,” she leans forward, slapping her hands on her knees, “tell meee”

you swallow hard, her never ending stare making you speak, “it’s nothing really..”

“sure” she chuckled, reaching out towards a dresser then opening the bottom one, digging past clothes to grab a box.

“you ever had one?” she asked while opening the box, taking out unimportant items before getting to a bag of gummies. you hesitately smile as she looks at you while opening the bag, “i’m willing to try”

she giggles while taking one, then biting another one in half. she gets up and walks to you, handing the half gummy to you, “not trying to be a pusher or anything but..”

your hand hurries to take it and you pop it in your mouth, chewing a couple times before stopping, your face turning at the taste, “why the fuck does it taste like that..”

landi blurts out a laugh, clearly amused by your expression, “i don’t think the intention is to taste good”

you swallow down the strong flavor, grabbing the water landi is handing you and quickly take sips. you then grab your phone to check the time, seeing it be dangerously close to 3, “i have to go..”

“awe come on, you mean to tell me i don’t get to witness your first high?”

you arrogantly shake your head, pushing in your seat before heading towards the door, “i’m sure i’m a heavy weight”

“that’s what they always say..” she gives a playful smile and holds the door open. you swiftly walk out, turning back before leaving, “you’ll be the first to know if something happens trust”

“well.. have fun with anton!”

you completely stop and do an 180, turning quickly as you try to catch her, but she slams the door close before you even get the chance to see her face again.

“HOW?” you barely shout through the door in pure disbelief, almost laughing at yourself.

“like i said, you’re obvious” she responds plainly, leaving you more dumbfounded, is it that bad..?

when you finally got to a parking lot, there his car stood—his tint was too dark to see if he’s inside. you look around, almost suspiciously, then go to the passenger side, knocking lightly on the window.

you hear the click of the lock, waiting a second before opening the door and hoping in quickly. you put your bag on the floor of the car and exhale loudly, sinking your back into the seat with your eyes lazily open.

“you okay?” he says with a hand on the wheel. you nod and look up at him, giving a light smile.

“wanna go anywhere?”

you simply nod your head no, fidgeting with both your hands in your lap. he slightly raises a brow while his eyes roam around your body. you get nervous again, holding your hands together still as you force yourself to speak, “i mean we can go anywhere you want to..”

he smiles at you then turns the key, “what do i have to do to help you become less.. shy”

you softly chuckle at yourself then turn your head towards the window, “i don’t even know why i’m being like this..”

the car starts to move as he continues, “i can drop you off if you’d like” his tone is kind, nonjudgmental.

your words first come out a bit too rushed unknowingly before you start to falter, “no no it’s fine i just.. i don’t know.. unnecessary stress i guess, i promise i’m not like this”

“oh really?” he says very clearly backhandedly, causing you to lightly elbow his arm that rests on the armrest.

you sigh again, leaning forward in your seat, “can i..?” you say before taking your shoes off slowly.

“you can do whatever” anton reassured, never taking his eyes off the road, giving you the comfortability to move your covered feet from the floor and push your knees against your chest, wrapping your arms around your legs as you let your head rest on your knees.

there's no radio, and when there's silence you can't help but to talk, no matter how anxious you ever were.

you wanted to break past this weird apprehensive barrier you’ve put up with him, you wanted to be friendly if this was going to be a consistent habit, so you speak your mind.

“sock sock shoe shoe or sock shoe sock shoe?”

“what??”

you fiddle with your own socks, squeezing your toes through them, “do you put both socks on first before the shoe or one sock then shoe etcetera”

“um,” he chuckles lightly, pausing for whatever reason.

“this is a very important question anton,” you add fake seriousness to your voice, “shouldn’t be hard to answer either”

“well i guess i just don’t think about it, what’s the point in remembering”

“it’s muscle memory, you do it everyday you should remember”

you turn your head to look at him, seeing his face actually think before answering, “..it’s sock sock shoe shoe”

“exactly! i have a sister who does sock shoe sock shoe and it drives me fucking insane” you griped jokingly, raising your head to lay it on the headrest.

you ask another question, asking too quickly to notice the slight stiffness in his face at the mention of your sister, “do you have any siblings?”

“..yeah”

“sister?”

“brother.”

“older?”

“younger”

you hum and nod, taking a moment to store the information, “is he nice?”

anton lets out a chuckle, shifting in his seat, moving the limb closest to you even closer as he shifted his elbow on the armrest, it dangerously close to actually touching you.

“you really know how to keep a conversation going”

“is that your way of saying i’m talking too much?”

“well..” his expression looks sarcastic, his eyes still on the road. you let out a quick little laugh and roll your eyes, “this is very normal conversation anton, i would like to have a little bit of knowledge about you”

“why?”

when the simple word comes out you feel puzzled, awkward again, was it weird to ask questions to a guy whom you’re in an unofficial unconfirmed ‘arrangement’ with? they’re simple questions

“what do you mean by ‘why’..? not trying to be weird or rude or anything..”

“what do you want?” he spoke softly.

“..what?” you pull away from your bubble to notice he had pulled into a drive-thru, his eyes taking their time to examine the food options.

“oh uh i don’t need anything really” you say a bit perplexed, the whole time you weren’t really paying attention to where he was actually going.

he doesn’t respond and continues to look for a moment while you pull out your phone, texting and scrolling through randomness.

the car finally pulls up and he orders—you not really bothered to listen. there’s a lengthy line when he’s finished, causing the car to be still for a while.

any comfortability you had was almost all gone, your brain making the entire vehicle feel stiff. you pray he doesn’t feel it too, hoping that being on the phone can mask your feelings.

painfully long minutes go by and there’s very little movement in this line, of course.. but to your surprise anton actually starts to talk again, “stop overthinking it”

you click off your phone and slowly look up at him, trying your best to lie through your teeth, “i’m not.”

“okay” he smirks, leaning his head back into the headrest. you roll your eyes as he continues to stare, “stop doing that look.”

“what look?”

“oh shut up.” you reply to his act. anton exhales a hushed laugh and finally faces forward.

he takes a moment before speaking again, the provoking look on his face dissipating as his eyes fixate ahead of us.

“people i choose to hang out with don’t usually ask those ‘simple questions’, i mean what’s the point in knowing the answer to them anyways”

you hesitate, indecisive, what’s the point? who cares what the ‘point’ is.

“i don’t know.. it’s nice to know i guess, don’t you think? like is there a reason you’re trying to be ‘mysterious’ or something.. or- not trying to press.. sorry” you vacillated.

“don’t be sorry,” anton tittered “i’m not trying to be anything i just.. don’t care to share, there’s no point”

you hold his words for a bit, unsure how to respond, thinking, why be so difficult on simple stupid questions?? now you’re making me feel bad..

you try to think up a ‘correct’ response, but before you can let it out the car pulls up to the restaurant’s window. he grabs the bag of food and thanks the worker quickly, leaving the bag in his lap as he parks.

“you eat it in the parking lot??” you remarked while half smiling and raising a brow.

“uh it’s fresh?” he objected, genuine confusion sprinkled in his expression.

“okay? dude nobody does that, you’re supposed to eat it when you get home”

“first it’s socks now it’s ‘would you rather eat fresh food yes or no’ who are you?”

“a normal person?? it’s still gonna be fresh when you get home”

“no it’s not”

“yes it is”

“no it's not!” he chortled, pulling out the food from the bag, “it’s probably gonna be frozen by the time we get there and reheating is gross”

“you’re dramatic..” you speak in disbelief, there really is a whole other world out there huh..

he then hands you a styrofoam box, a meal that seemed to be a similar meal as his.

you didn’t take it at first, “uh you really didn’t have to do that..” you say rushed, nervously chuckling.

“take it or i’m gonna throw it away.” he says with authority, you look at him for only a second to see he was serious about it too.

you huff, taking his offering, putting your feet back to the floor as you open the box, “you’re annoying”

an hour and a half has passed since school has ended for you and finally the car comes to its final stop, though somewhere quite unfamiliar.

“you live here too?”

“i guess” he says nonchalantly while getting out the car.

the neighborhood seemed much less intimidating than sungchan’s, still expensive looking though with dreamy brick houses and manicured lawns but it looked more.. realistic looking. a real neighborhood with a bunch of homes, families and pets making the place lively.

anton quickly went over to your side and held the door open. you gave a soft thank you and followed him up into the empty house.

throughout the end of the drive till now you felt a bit disoriented, confused as to why your senses seemed heightened, but it was easy to ignore, except for now.

before you know it, you're in his bedroom, and it looks much more personalized and lived in compared to his room at sungchan’s.

anton slammed his body onto his bed and loudly sighed, looking relieved, his back sinking into the mattress with his eyes closed. you feel light, exhilarated as you walk closer to the bed, looking down at his large frame, it easily taking up most of the space in this bed.

his feet still touched the floor, his legs spread open obnoxiously, practically begging for you to do something, so you position yourself between them while still standing, lightly touching his knees and making them barely sway.

“i like your room”

“you like everything”

“is that a bad thing?” you voice unconsciously had a soft, lewd tone, a small smirk growing on your face.

he opens his eyes and quickly darts his gaze at you, “you don’t seem so shy this time”

“i’m not a shy person it was just.. the alcohol”

“right..” he slowly raises with a groan and lets his hands reach your waist.

his touch felt like it tingled, every atom that laid beneath his hands seemed to jump nonstop causing you to unexpectedly giggle, “sorry” you quickly added, looking down slightly at him.

anton raised a brow, an amused smile forming as he responded, “what did you take?”

“nothing” you spoke almost immediately

he hums and slips his hands underneath your shirt, making the sensation even worse. he massages the area lightly, adding pressure from his palm and circling his thumbs, making the tingling feeling spread rapidly.

“stop” you chortled, gripping his wrists quickly and moving them away from your body.

“then how are we supposed to make sweet sweet love?” he teased.

“let me get used to it okay”

“to what? i thought you didn’t take anything?”

“quit being annoying” you giggled while bravely taking off your shirt with no hesitation. you let it fall to the floor and go to adjust your bra and hair, “do i look nice?” you say with true confidence.

“very nice” he replied, his glare roaming down your exposed body.

“your turn”

he listens and lifts his shirt swiftly, discarding it and tries to reach for you, but you stop him, forcing his hands down, “not yettt”

you move your own hands to rub up against his whole torso, laying your hands flat, rubbing up to his shoulders all the way down to his lower abs, taking your time to feel every inch of his skin.

“you look really good..” you almost whisper, biting your lip softly.

“i get that often”

you hum, finally taking his hands and slowly placing them on your waist, giggling again at the contact.

you get closer and move your touch to wrap around his neck, letting your fingers play with his hair, “don’t move”

you initiate, forcing your lips onto his, starting off hard, hungry, anton immediately giving the same hunger. both tongues move in unison, sloppy and careless, the feeling much more addictive than it was the first time.

you softly moan in his mouth as the wetness grows at a rapid pace, causing your legs to squeeze.

you break the kiss for a second, speaking quickly and hushed before resuming, “you can move now”

he doesn’t waste a second to dart his hands up your back, the tingles making you smile against his lips.

anton unhooks your bra and takes it off for you, never breaking the relentless kiss. your senses were all over the place, the intensity making your body burn.

you finally broke the kiss with a whine as anton went for your jawline and moved down to your neck, leaving a disgustingly wet trail of kisses behind.

both his hands occupied a breast, messaging and pinching your nipples, the sensitivity amped, tingles shooting throughout your entire body.

you huff and moan in response, gripping his shoulders for stability as your vision already starts to get hazy. his kisses continue to trail down from the collarbone to the tops of your boobs.

he taunts you, getting dangerously close to the nipples without ever touching them, kissing all around them, prolonging the tease as much as possible.

you let out a deep sigh, squeezing his shoulders harder as you say “please.. i want it now..”

he chuckles against your skin through the kisses while moving his hands down to your ass, gripping hard and messaging the back of your thighs.

he finally hooks his thumbs into your pants and breaks away from your boobs, looking up at you with devious big eyes.

your body already felt intense, everything making you wetter, making you clench your thighs harder, you needed him desperately.

you move your hands on top of his and force his hands to move both your pants and panties down in one go, leaving you completely bare.

you then take them off fully, quickly shaking them off your legs and kicking them away before reaching for his pants.

you latch onto his mouth again, not afraid to push yourself deeper into the kiss, the sound of smacking filling the air as you roughly shove his pants to his knees. a hand hurries to feel his clothed cock, rubbing him through his boxers.

anton groans in your mouth, slowing the kiss as you continue to tease the tip, feeling his precum through the fabric.

he reaches for the nightstand, never looking away to grab what you can assume is protection, but you’re feeling adventurous today.

when he brought his hand closer you could hear the crackle of the foil, so you break the kiss one final time and grab his hand, biting your lips and shaking your head as you slowly take the condom away and throw it back on the nightstand. whatever happens, a quick trip to the pharmacy will surely help.

“i want to feel you” you cooed as you brought down his boxers, almost immediately straddling him when his cock sprung free, holding onto it and stroking him lightly, making sure to tease the head the most, swiping your thumb across it lazily and deliberately.

anton’s face looked slightly taken aback, eyes scanning your face while he caressed the dip of your back. “are you sure..?” he says, letting out shaking pants and sounds that emerge from the back of his throat.

you eagerly shake your head yes, twisting your wrist and dragging your hand down to his base. your mind imagined getting down on your knees, tasting him and taking him all, filling your throat, swallowing everything he’d give you, but you couldn’t, your body wouldn’t let you anyways, feeling him inside right now was a must—maybe next time..

you raise your hips—your feet dangling off the bed—and press his tip against your entrance. both your pants synced, his hands supporting your waist gripping tight, his gaze never leaving yours though his eyelids struggle to stay open.

you bite down on your lip hard as you slowly move down, trying your hardest to suppress the shaky moan escaping your throat.

it doesn’t take long for him to fill you up, leaving negative space once you’re fully seated on him. you clench around him immediately, the stretch alone could make you cum on the spot. it feels so different.. it feels so much better

you stay still for a short moment, already breathless, the pressure and skin to skin contact making you feverish, you’ve never felt such intense pleasure before.

you slither your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers gripping the hair on the nape as you start to rock, causing him to groan.

“yeah..” anton's voice is low, a murmur, while his hands couldn’t stay still, traveling up to your upperback then back down to the sides of your waist, his large hands digging into your skin, “fuck you feel so good..”

at first he doesn’t assist you, letting you control the pace as he feels up your body, watching your movements.

those eyes make you become more greedy, the knot in your stomach tightening, so you pick up the pace gradually but quickly, lifting and sinking with urgency, your loud shameless whines trembling at every downbeat.

he responds to every moan you slip out with a one of his own, throaty and deep.

you try to stabilize yourself by moving your hands to his shoulders, digging hard into his skin as you lean to kiss him rough, just once before breathing in his face, purring, your voice unsteady, “so d-deep.. fuck.. you like me riding on your cock..?”

he huffs in your face, a thick growl spilling out, the words causing him to give in and snake an arm around your waist, the other hand slipping in between your bodies, his hand flat against your stomach.

he firmly slams you down fast, him somehow feeling even deeper and bigger, his control hitting a specific spot repeatedly and relentlessly. his hand started to press harder onto your stomach as he was feeling his visible bulge peaking through your skin.

it was brutal, your mind feeling like it was slipping in and out of consciousness as you desperately tried to silence the screams leaving your throat, biting onto your lip and squeezing your eyes shut.

“you take me so fucking good.. let me hear you..”

you obey, letting the cries out, blabbering words as you hit that high. the angle was just perfect, the sound of wet skin and the closeness of your bodies was pushing you even further, you couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“t-that’s i- f-fuck.. so good.. oh m-my god..” you try to form a complete sentence while he just kept fucking you.

you couldn’t breathe, your body feeling like it was trembling, your head spinning. your mind couldn’t even comprehend if you were still awake in his lap, the orgasm too overwhelming.

“y/n..” he whispers, surprised you could hear it in this state, and somehow you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“i-inside.. p-please..”

he doesn’t ask twice, moving both hands on the sides of your hips to keep you still as he releases inside you. you’ve never done this before.. without a condom.. and you loved it, the unfamiliar warmth and fullness making you squeeze harder around him, intensifying the pleasure, making you spill out even more desperate noises.

sweat clinged onto both your bodies as you both breathed hard, you milking the last desperate sounds from your throat before going quiet.

his hands lower down to rest on your ass as he leans forward, using your chest to lay his head. you both refuse to move for a long while, just sitting onto him in silence, regulating your breathing as he dick stays snugged inside you.

unlike the first time, the drugs must have killed all your intrusive insecurities as you sit in comfort, relaxed and rejuvenated.

he finally lifts his head and slowly falls back into the bed, his hands sliding from your ass to your thighs. you’d soon slide off, anton groaning at the loss of you, you doing the same.

you hop into his bed and lay right next to him, your body fully turned towards him, “that was really nice”

“was it?” he says quietly and sarcastically, making you smile.

“wanna go again?”

“what??” he breathes out a laugh, finally turning his head to look at you. you snuggle closer to him while wiggling your eyebrows, moving your hand to caress his shoulders.

“unfortunately i need a minute or two..” he pauses slightly before speaking again, “..but you could stay if you’d like”

“isn’t that rude?”

“how”

“over welcoming your stay or whatever”

“other way around” he chuckles, now turning his full body towards you.

he reaches to touch your face, toying with some of your hair which makes you giggle, “i hate how good you are at this”

“obviously you don’t ‘hate’ it”

you look into his eyes for a bit before the burning question slipped out casually, high you not really caring in the moment anyways, “how many girls have you fucked?”

he has a surprised smile plastered on his face, his eyebrows raised, “uh.. girls don’t usually want the answer”

“so like.. a lot then”

“sure, i don’t count”

“well how many girls have you fucked in between us.. like party till now”

he face finally tenses slightly, his smile becoming more of a nervous one, but he’s able to mask it quickly, “um.. a few i guess.. i don’t know”

“jesus..” you chuckle at his weird cadence, “what do you mean you ‘don’t know’ it’s only been like a week”

“okay.. two”

you hum and nod carelessly, slowly inching your hand to touch his chest as his hand continues to toy with your hair, “am i.. better?”

his hand finally stops and slips down to find comfort at your waist as he breathes out a chuckle while speaking, “are you competitive?”

“no..” you say fast, too fast.

“would you be jealous?”

“no” this time it sounds much more sure. he pretends to think though it doesn’t really look like he’s actually thinking, “i don’t knowww it’s hard for me to find someone particularly interesting.. in sex, the race is close”

you playfully roll your eyes and give a half serious stare, “are you serious.”

he just shrugs his shoulders making you break character. you take a short moment before asking your next question.

“so why have sex”

his face turns for a second, he almost looks confused, “i don’t know.. people like it”

“but do you like it?”

“do you like it?”

you giggle, “you can’t answer a question with the same question”

“do you like it?” he repeats more sexually, teasingly, snaking his hand in the dip of your back and gently drags your body flush with his. you can feel his cock is already hard again, it pressed against your thigh.

you chuckle in his face and bite your lip, “yeah..”

“and that’s what matters to me the most” he mumbles while pushing you on your back, then he kisses you.

it isn’t gentle, but it feels sincere—or maybe it's your intoxicated mind playing tricks.

you sandwich his head and let go of the kiss to speak against his lips with a smile on your face, “you have issues”

“no i don’t” he doesn’t let you reply and kisses you again, putting one hand comfortably on your throat and the other behind your leg.

your hazy mind drops the conversation when he slips back into you with ease, burying himself with no warning.

your mouth gapes open, your expression contorts, your walls still a bit sensitive which makes you breathe out a wobbly moan.

the hold on your neck wasn’t tight. his hand felt like it was covering your entire neck, the grip just enough to make the pressure add to feeling as he used the position to ground himself.

you move your hands to his biceps, holding on weakly as he continues to thrust, the pace quite antagonizing this time. it was slow, deep, deliberate, filling you up completely with a wet soppy sound.

your already sticky inner thighs were being painted even more with every hit, the wet noise filling the room, almost enough to drown out your weak whimpers. he was vocal as well, grunting every time his tip kissed your insides.

you were already close again, and he must’ve been too as he moved the hand on your leg to your hip, pulling you hard against him, upping the speed a bit.

“anton..” you whisper in between broken moans, choking on your words while digging your nails down his arm. he responds by going even harder, your aching pussy getting impossibly tight.

he crashes his lips into yours, drifting his arms to cage your face. he had moved your hands to lay slightly above your head, holding them.

all twenty fingers interlocked, his body hot and heavy on top of yours as he continued to rock into you. your legs were now wrapped around him, the intimacy was a lot to even shake your doped mind.

you came so hard that tears started to blur your sight. you sob against his lips, squirming as his rhythm stays steady, getting clumsy but still consistent. your hands clamped onto his hard that they even started to ache, but you couldn’t let go, the euphoric overwhelming feeling hitting you just the same as the first round.

anton finally gives you one last slam and groans, filling you up for a second time. his body relaxes on top of yours but you don’t mind the weight, his head dropping to the crook of your neck.

nobody speaks or moves for a long while, just hearing each other’s breaths and feeling your chests’ rise and fall.

but eventually, he slides out and hops off the bed before heading to the bathroom. you prop yourself up on your elbows and watch him emerge, lazily dragging his feet while he walks.

you hear the shower start to run, then a moment later he comes back out with a mouth full of toothpaste, “wanna jump in?”

“no i’ll wait”

“ouch.. you hate me now huh”

you smile softly, sitting up right and wrapping your arms across your torso, “the sight of you sickens me.. hurry up i’d like to be clean.”

he wiggles his brows at you and disappears back into the bathroom.

not this feeling again.. what was that about? even he has to know that that was a bit.. intimate right?

you almost want to get up and ask, but you’re not that intoxicated.. maybe just save the uncomfortable questions for a later date.

you showered and got dressed back into your clothes, making the decision to go home instead of staying for too long.

the reason for this decision was throughout the entire time in the bath your brain kept replaying the final position in your head. his fingers intertwined with yours, zero space between your bodies, you hate yourself for loving his intimacy, it’s like he knows exactly what you like, but this isn’t that.

you know that, you have to, you have to ingrain it in your mind that this whole thing is nothing. and it will always be nothing. staying over at his house with just the two of you would only give you false hope, and you shouldn’t torture yourself with that battle.

luckily, the feeling wouldn’t bother you too much anymore, after refreshing you were still spaced out, calm—you made a mental note to ask landi about these.

so you get dressed and slide next to him in bed, he was casually laying in loose knee length shorts and a basic hoodie, his damp hair wetting the pillowcase as he scrolled on his phone.

“can you drop me off at school please?”

he looks at you then looks at your clothes, “you really do hate me”

“i have to go,” you giggle, playfully rolling your eyes, “i’m sure you’ll see me again”

his stare drifts back up to your eyes and there’s a noticeable silence before he speaks, “where’s your phone”

“want to add another number to the list?”

“if it makes you feel better i’ll add you to my favorites”

“you’re disgusting.” your cheeks get so hot that you can’t hold eye contact anymore, forcing your gaze to look up at the ceiling instead.

“where’s your phone” he repeats.

“it’s in the car, i’ll just tell you my number.. once you drop me off” you say innocently, still refusing to look his way.

he eventually does roll out of bed, tiredly groaning as he gets up, “does the princess need anything else?” he says while walking out the room.

“not today” you tease, getting up to follow closely behind. he grabs his keys and opens the front door, holding it for you. you say a polite thanks and walk to the car, sighing in content once you sit in the seat.

for the rest of the drive you were elated, the open window made the wind brush your face nicely, the tingles nice and subdued this time, but you had to grip your own shoulders to keep your hands still, softly giggling to yourself at nonsense, trying your best to keep it unnoticeable, but your awareness was nonexistent.

your concept of time must have been fucked too, because it felt like 60 seconds and he was already in the school parking lot.

you rub your face trying to ‘wake’ yourself out of it, “thanks..”

“what are you doing here anyways”

“i’m gonna walk home”

“no you’re not”

“uh yes i am” you laugh, trying to open the passenger door, but he had it locked.

“look at you, don’t be prideful” he says with a smile, but with a bit of seriousness in his tone.

“i’m very capable right now, you’re acting like i’m drunk or something”

he sighs and starts the car again, not listening to any excuse you have.

“wait please, i can walk home i promise”

he ignores, pulling out of the parking lot and driving towards the apartment.

“it’s just i don’t want my sister to see me”

like always, there’s a slight noticeable shift in his body language that a sober eye could see if they were really paying attention—you were neither sober nor paying attention.

“why” he asks plainly, seemingly nonchalant.

“well i don’t know.. i feel awkward about others knowing about my sex life, especially her, you understand right?”

he hums and nods, touching his chin with one hand, the other lazily placed on the wheel, “so you want this to be a secret?”

“if you want this to be like a thing.. then yeah”

anton smirks and gives you a quick side eye before looking back at the road, “and how long do you think you can keep this from sungchan” he chuckles.

“god..” you huff, leaning deep into your seat, “he’s been asking every day.”

“you gonna tell him?”

“NO.” you make it very clear, “i’m too nervous, what if he gets annoying about it too.. you guys are friends no?”

“yeah, yeah he does get that way” he laughs to himself, clearly in thought.

“so he especially can never know. i can keep a secret”

“so where do you want me to park?” he’s already here, strolling the car in the parking lot of the apartments.

“furthest from my apartment..”

he breathes out a laugh and listens to your request, parking quite far from natalie’s place. if she were to ever be hanging around her side of the building, she’d still wouldn’t be able to see his car.

“thanks..” you smiled, grabbing your bag that you left in the car. he lets you hop the car without saying a word, you shutting the door and walking a few steps before turning quickly, rushing to his window before he got the chance to leave.

you lightly knock and he rolls down the window, “why’d you let me forget”

“i’m sure we’ll see each other again”

you can never stop smiling around this guy.. god.

you roll your eyes and tell him your number as he repeats it back to you after every group of digits.

he doesn’t put it in his phone, guess just relying on memory.

“okay.. bye..” you tap on the window beltline before turning to walk again. anton didn’t wait, pulling out and driving off in the opposite direction of you.

the sun was setting, still bright out but the sky was a deep orange and the color was quickly fading.

when you opened the door of the apartment, a familiar voice immediately starts to speak before you even get the chance to see her, “its like 7 o’clock where have you been?”

“..at a friends place”

“a friends place? you made a new friend on the first day?” natalie questioned. she was lounging on the couch with some snacks, never looking away from the TV as she interrogated you.

“i’m friendly unlike you”

“okay well who’s this ‘friend’.”

“a lovely lady named landi.. lovely lady landi.. LLL.. ain’t that nice..” you drag your feet to stand right behind the couch, somewhat hovering over nat’s body, putting your hands on the outside back to hold you up.

she looks up at you with a displeased raised brow, “landi?”

“sohee’s friend?”

natalie rolls her eyes hard, turning back to the TV clearly irked, “you befriend the worse people.”

“hey! she’s cool you’re just mean” you defend.

“whatever” she says sighing, shoving some snacks in her face. you giggle at her, feeling too careless to press her on this weird coincidence right now.

“you’re funny” you breathed, turning to head to your room. once you enter you feel your body immediately get heavy, so you throw your bag to the floor and jump into bed, even with these dirty clothes on, and almost instantly knock out.

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જ⁀➴ intro + current library

if you wanna be tagged just comment! (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) - @nosungluv @blu-kyl

i am GRATEFUL if you have patience and you came back to this story.. i freaking love you and im freaking sorry… HAVE AN INCREDIBLE DAY/NIGHT ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)