Still-Pretty-Awkward

I told my mom not to feed her dog too much cheese and she got offended like "I'm not an idiot, of course I wouldn't" but like I can literally hear her in the living room singing "You like cheese... cheese for baby"

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

reblog to stick a fruit sticker on a mutuals’ shirt where they can’t see

"Are you more of a family or career oriented person?" Babygirl im a bed oriented person. Snork mimimi

my friend was testing perfumes out at the store and she sniffed a bottle and anounced "ngl this bitch kind of sucks" The girl at the counter suddenly looked really sad, and my friend was like "I'm sorry, I wasn't talking about you." And the girl looked up and said "No don't worry, I didn't think that, but I just crushed a ladybug with my shoe" We both took a peak over the counter. she'd stepped on a red m&m