Let me be your shelter.

Stephanie curiously raised an eyebrow at Casper’s answer, but she didn’t question it. He had probably not expected her to ask which city he was looking forward to visiting. “Well, we do need good food. Got to have our energy levels up and going with shows almost every night, right?” She tried to lighten the mood a little, even though that was nothing like her. Most of the time she was the one that worried too much and other people tried to snap her out of her worry-mode by joking. Astrid, for example, did exactly that. She could make Stephanie feel comfortable, but sometimes she wished that they could have a serious conversation without Astrid trying to fit in a joke. Stephanie could have serious conversations with Casper, but she often found herself trying to lighten the mood. They were friends, at least that’s what Stephanie thought, but still getting to know each other better. Friendships didn’t dive right into deep emotional stuff right away, conversations were light at first. Stephanie considered her and Astrid to have reached the stage of friendship where they could talk about serious stuff, but maybe Astrid thought differently.

Emily settled down in the double bed, only her feet covered by the blanket. Stephanie chuckled as she saw her little girl lying in a bed that was meant for two adults. It was quite a sight. She reached for her phone and snapped a picture of her daughter in the big bed. She tucked it back into her back pocket and smiled at Casper. “I guess it’s your turn.” The woman leaned with her back against the wall, folding her arms over her chest. Even though she hated bothering Casper with her daughter now that he finally had a room to himself, she also felt grateful for him staying with them and even bringing them a gift. He was too pure for this world. Stephanie hoped he knew that.

Casper nodded, relieved that she didn’t pry. A lot of people in the cast knew his parents, of course. They wanted to know what they were like. He never really knew how to respond to those kinds of questions. He didn’t really know what his parents were like. Dedicated to acting? That was probably the nicest thing he could say about them that he knew for sure was true. They didn’t have much to do with him before they realized he could hold a tune and act decently, and from then on out that was basically all they focused on. Lessons, training, auditions, that was what his life consisted of. Even though he never got anything but an ensemble or an understudy role before this one, they never let him give up. 

Stephanie smiled. “That does sounds like the perfect date, to be honest.” It had been a while since Stephanie had been able to have an evening like that. And as Casper mentioned it, she thought of asking Astrid and Brooklyn to watch Emily for a night so she could have one night for herself. Stephanie loved her daughter more than she could put in words, but she could use a night off from her mom-duties. She wasn’t going to bother Casper with watching Em for her when he finally had a room for himself. Plus, both Astrid and Brooklyn seemed to get along with Emily and their room was next to Stephanie’s so they could always barge in if things were hard to handle. “Thanks for the idea, I’ll have to plan in a date night as well.” The brunette chuckled quietly.

She watched her little girl get ready until Casper spoke up, her eyes darting back to him. She didn’t miss the way how he had called Emily by her nickname, it was cute. “Well, I think we’re most excited about going back to Seattle, right Em?” Emily nodded in approval. “It’s where we live, so Emily has her friends there and I do too. Plus, she’ll get to see her grandparents since they’re coming to see the show then.” Stephanie felt bad about taking Emily away from her friends just because she had to work. She had promised her that this would be the last time they would have to travel with a tour. Stephanie was going to try and find a job closer to home so Emily could go to school and stay with her friends. Yes, she did get private tutoring almost every day but it wasn’t the same as being in a class with your friends. “What about you, Casper?” She asked him curiously, her head tilting a bit to the side.

He chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think everyone in the cast and crew deserves a night like that, to be honest. Touring is ...” He paused, mulling over his word choice. Exhausting sounded a bit too dramatic, even if it was technically what he felt. “Hard work,” he finished instead, shaking his head. He was looking forward to a night alone in his hotel room, where he didn’t have to worry about a single pair of eyes being on him until the next day. That said, he didn’t begrudge Emily his time. He remembered how much he craved attention as a kid. Even though Emily was lucky enough to have a mom who gave her plenty ... She was still only one person. It was probably really hard for both of them. He had no problem playing around.

“Go brush your teeth, honey.” Stephanie told her daughter who happily skipped towards the bathroom. Then the older woman turned back to Casper. “If you want you can tuck her in bed, she can get ready herself, but I think she’ll like it if you sing her a song or tell her a story before she goes to sleep.” It was something Stephanie always did when Emily was ready for bed. She’d sing her a song or read to her from one of the books Emily had taken with her on tour and the little girl would fall asleep soon after. Stephanie really didn’t want to bother Casper with Emily, but he didn’t seem to mind. “You don’t have to though, I understand if you have other plans.” She showed the man a weak smile, hating to be a burden to someone.

Emily soon returned, putting on her brightest smile to show her mother that she had brushed her teeth. “Good job, Em. Now put your pajamas on and you’re ready to go to bed.” Stephanie smiled, putting her own hair in a ponytail. She wasn’t sure what it was, but with Casper in the same room she felt calm while Emily was getting ready for bed. Most of the time Stephanie was stressing, afraid that Emily wouldn’t get enough sleep and would keep her up for the rest of the night. Which never happened, yet Stephanie worried. But now she didn’t, she felt relaxed. Though part of her was now worrying if Casper thought she was a good mother. She was trying to be, but giving chocolate right before bed hadn’t been the smartest idea. She just didn’t want Casper to think that she was ungrateful for his gift. It was really sweet of him to think of Emily while he was out.

Casper shook his head. “No, really! Don’t worry about it. I don’t have any plans or anything like that. Just a date with hotel cable and these chips,” he joked. In other circumstances, he would have felt awkward about making that joke, would have worried that she thought he was pathetic or lame. But that concern didn’t really hold much weight with Stephanie. She just seemed really nonjudgemental most of the time. She was even nice to Natasha, even though by this point most of the crew had taken to avoiding her or snapping right back at her when she got into her moods. Maybe it was because she was too nervous about Emily to worry too much about what other people were doing, or maybe she was just nice like that. Either way, Casper appreciated it.

After Emily had politely thanked Casper and showed him a wide smile, Stephanie got a teddy graham out of the package and handed it over to the girl. “Just one for tonight. It’s almost bed time.” The little girl settled back at the desk with her drawings and happily hummed as she enjoyed her chocolate. “Do you want anything from the mini-bar? We haven’t gotten anything yet, but it’s paid for. It would be a shame if it would go to waste.” Stephanie hid the package in the drawer of the nightstand before Emily turned around and then just smiled at her like nothing was going on. However, the little girl stood up from her chair and flung her arms around her mother’s thighs, hugging her tightly.

“Aw, what’s up?” The brunette smiled down at her daughter, stroking her hair. The girl mumbled something inaudible, causing Stephanie to crouch down. “What is it, honey?” When Emily shyly whispered to her mom, Stephanie’s grin only grew. “You don’t have to be so shy, Em.” Stephanie looked up to Casper from her spot, Emily standing in between her knees. “She wants you to get her ready for bed. If you don’t want to then that’s fine, I think she might have a tiny little crush on you.” She laughed quietly as Emily hid her face against her chest, slowly rubbing her back. “I don’t blame you though, Em. Casper is very sweet, but I do think you should ask him yourself. It will give him a better impression of you.” Stephanie whispered her words, not realizing that Casper could hear her.

“Oh? No, thank you. I got my own.” He gestured at his bags. “Thank you, though,” he added reflexively, before realizing he had already thanked her. He laughed a bit awkwardly, shaking his head, but decided to let it go before he just made it more awkward by spiraling into a weird word vomit. He was pretty good at doing that, but it seemed to be easy to stop himself around Stephanie. She had a comforting air about her. Maybe it was because she was used to being around Emily, who seemed like a pretty mild-mannered kid but as still just a kid, so he was sure she dealt with her fair share of tantrums.

The woman suddenly became very conscious. What if Casper thought she was a bad parent for leaving Emily alone in their hotel room? She had read stories about missing kids after their parents had left them alone in their room. “No, not at all! No trouble at all. I just hope you don’t think I’m a bad parent now with leaving Emily alone in here…I swear I was out for just a few minutes.” Stephanie didn’t even know why she was trying to make sure that Casper didn’t think she wasn’t a good parent. Normally, she didn’t really care what others thought about her, but this time was different. She had put Emily at a risk and she shouldn’t have done that. “I’m glad you’re here though.” She flashed him a soft smile before realising what she had said. “And not…you know…some creep.” Casper was so calm and friendly, yet Stephanie managed to make things awkward. She hadn’t meant to, the words just escaped her lips before she could think about it.

“Sounds nice! If you ever need company…you know where our room is..” Casper was a decent guy. He got along with Emily and that was all that really mattered to Stephanie. If her friends couldn’t handle Emily or didn’t like kids in general there was no point in a friendship. Emily was a part of her and she would always be a part of her. Besides that, Emily was with her at least 80% of the time. Stephanie wanted to be there for her daughter even when touring the country, the father had gotten out of the picture a long time ago. “Oh my….those are her favourite…and mine too, but don’t let her know.” She whispered the last part, taking the package from the man. “You really didn’t have to, Casper. But thank you.” The brunette smiled softly at him, her eyes locked with his a little longer than usual. Their little moment was broken when the little girl noticed what was in her mother’s hand and immediately reached for the box.“Say thank you to Casper first, honey.”

Casper immediately shook his head. “Of course not! You’re not a bad parent, it’s pretty much impossible to be in the same room as your kids all the time.” Eventually, you’d have to leave, if only to go to the bathroom. Of course, that was often the time when stuff went wrong, but that was just how life worked. He remembered once when he was at his aunt’s house, his younger cousin had managed to wiggle her way out of her high chair and fall on the floor. And this was while his aunt had been in the room -- her back had just been turned for a second. Sometimes things like that couldn’t be avoided, but they were lucky that his cousin wound up being just fine at the end of it. He laughed a bit when she said she was happy he wasn’t a creep. “Well, I’m happy, too! That, um, you don’t think I’m a creep.”

The bus ride had gone surprisingly well. Emily was asleep for most of the time, giving Stephanie the chance to chat with some of the ballet girls who were seated near her. She knew it was a risk that she was taking, Emily would most likely not fall asleep soon after they would arrive at the hotel, but Stephanie also knew that waking up Emily wasn’t such a great idea either. Luckily, Emily had remained calm when they arrived at the hotel, diving straight into her sketchbook. Her plan was to make drawings for every single person in the cast and crew by the time the tour would end and she had gotten quite far already. Mother and daughter had settled into their hotel room, Emily busy with drawing in her sketchbook and Stephanie going over her notes about the costumes. She left for five minutes to discuss something with her co-worker in the costume department and told Emily not to open the door for anyone.

However, when Stephanie returned she was met with the sight of Casper sitting next to Emily and them both looking through her drawings. “Honey, what did I tell you about opening the door?” The woman sighed softly. Emily told her that she had checked to see who it was before opening the door and Stephanie gave her a kiss on top of her head. “That’s good, Em. But please wait until I’m back next time, alright?” The little girl nodded at her mom and then went back to her drawings. “Hey Casper, it’s nothing personal. Just trying to keep her safe, you know?” She rubbed her own arm awkwardly as she looked at the man. “She’s making a drawing for everyone, maybe you’ve seen yours already.” Stephanie smiled softly as she crouched down on the other side of Emily. “Who are you sharing your room with this time? Matthew?” She didn’t mean to come over as curious, but she was. Maybe he had come here to get away from the person he was sharing his room with and she couldn’t blame him for it.

Casper nodded as she said it wasn’t personal. “Of course! I’m, uh, sorry if I caused any trouble.” He definitely hadn’t meant to -- this was supposed to just be a quick thing, in and out, but it had wound up being more than expected. It wasn’t that he minded, since Emily was a pretty decent kid. But it still made him feel a little awkward. He didn’t want to be an accomplice in any youthful rulebreaking that Emily was trying to accomplish. Decent or not, kids could be funny that way. They came up with the weirdest ways to justify things, and he didn’t want to cause any unneeded grief for poor Stephanie. She had enough on her plate as it was.

“Are you sure? I don’t want her to be a burden..” It had become a habit for Stephanie, apologizing for her daughter. Kids could be overwhelming and extremely clingy and Stephanie didn’t want Emily to come over that way. Had Emily been awake, there would have been a different problem. She would have probably whined about how long it was taking and begging Stephanie to go to their hotel room. Children always managed to make a big deal about a situation as normal as Stephanie speaking to Casper. “You’re welcome. I figured you all deserved something for surviving opening night. It’s just a rose, but you know….that’s what the Phantom gave to Christine on her opening night as well. Though, I promise I will not try and abduct you into some secret passage underneath the theatre.” She was rambling and she knew it, she opened her mouth to apologise but swallowed her words. The word sorry had been said too many times in these few minutes.

“I see, you seem great with kids. The way you hold her and rock her, it’s perfect.” She smiled softly. “I mean, perfect in the way of how you hold your hands…and stuff…” Something was happening to her and Stephanie wasn’t sure what. She had never felt so nervous around anyone before. She couldn’t even manage to say what she wanted to say. “It’s not that she was freaked out, I think nervous is a better word. As if she was afraid she would drop Emily, even though that’s not really possible if you hold her tightly.” The brunette chuckled softly, playing with the rose in her hand. “Of course, yes.” Her arms brushed against his as she carefully took Emily back into her arms, handing the single rose back to Casper. She brushed some of Emily’s hair from her face and held her tightly. “I’m really holding you up, right? You should probably go to the party.” Stephanie couldn’t help but feel that she was keeping him away from the rest of the cast and preventing him from having a good time.

Casper shook his head, gently brushing some of Emily’s hair from her face. “Kids aren’t burdens,” he said automatically, before realizing that came off a little harsh. “I mean -- I understand why you’re worried. People can get weird around kids. But, um, you shouldn’t have to apologize for having one, you know? Anyone who makes you feel like that, is, ummmm ...” He frowned, thinking of all the time he spent with family, being told that he couldn’t hang out backstage with his parents because he’d just get in the way. He was always in the way, it felt like. “Is not very nice,” he finished, a bit lamely. “You know ... I think it’s good that you keep her around. That you try to spend time with her. A lot of parents in this industry ... don’t.” He knew that much firsthand. He rocked back and forth gently.

Stephanie blushed as Casper made clear he would rather spend time with her than at the party, but as he explained himself something dropped inside of her. He didn’t want to spend time with her for her, but because it was quieter. He wasn’t staying for her. She just smiled it off. “Yes! I understand!” She nodded and lifted Emily higher, carefully handing her over to Casper. “She doesn’t drool much though, she might mumble in her sleep but I think everyone has experienced that before.” As Stephanie picked up her bag and searched for the rose that was for Casper, Emily wrapped her tiny arms tightly around the man’s neck. “Found it!” The woman got the rose out, attached was a small card with Casper’s name on it and a message that said he had done greatly and that Stephanie was proud of him. “Oh, you can…push her arms away if you don’t want her that close. She won’t notice. I’m sorry, she’s just a bit….cuddly..” she was quick to apologize, knowing that Emily could sometimes be all over the place.

“Anyway! This is for you…” the brunette tucked a strand of hair behind her hair before offering the rose to Casper, completely forgetting to take Emily back from him. It was a cute sight, Casper holding the little girl in his arms. A loving smile played on her lips as she watched the actor interact with her daughter. There was something natural about the way he held her, like he had done it before. “Do you have kids of your own? You don’t seem too freaked out by her, unlike Astrid.” Astrid had seemed a bit nervous around Emily, but Casper didn’t come off that way. He seemed content. “Right, I should probably take her back. Sorry…” Stephanie showed him an apologetic smile before reaching her arms out to take her daughter back in her arms.

He shifted his weight a bit as Emily was passed to him, not minding when she put her arms around his neck. It was true that he wasn’t always fond of contact, but it was easier with kids -- kids were too young to have ulterior motives and things like that to figure out. Besides, she wasn’t doing it on purpose -- she was just clinging to him while half asleep. He wasn’t about to fault her for that, so it was weird for him to think that Stephanie even needed to apologize for it. But then again, he apologized for weird things all the time, so he got where she was coming from. “You don’t need to apologize,” he said to her, sounding a bit more sure than he usually did. “It’s fine.”

“I do! Not on my own, that’s impossible. But you know…I try…” Stephanie said softly. She just smiled at him when he mentioned being nervous all the time, he was laughing but as she looked into his eyes she could see it wasn’t genuine. It had always been easy for Stephanie to read people, but there was something about Casper that made her feel too nervous to do so. “No! No! It’s just some advice for next time. Please don’t worry about it. I’m sure everyone will think you look handsome just like this.” A light blush crept back on her cheeks, this time realizing what she had said. She couldn’t deny it though. Casper was handsome just as he was, he didn’t need to dress up. Her brown eyes had stared at him for a while until she realized she had been silent for some time.

“Oh! I just remember I had something for you. Actually everyone of the cast, but they were all gone so quickly.” She chuckled quietly before looking up at Casper. “But since you’re here I guess I could give it to you now. Do you mind holding Emily for a minute?” The little girl was still fast asleep. “I promise she won’t drool on you.” Stephanie smiled softly at the actor. She had bought a red rose for everyone of the cast to congratulate them on their opening night. Unfortunately, before she had the chance to hand them out most of the cast had already left to the party. So, she had decided she would just be early tomorrow so she could leave them in the dressing rooms. But since Casper was here, she figured she could just give it to him right now. “Or if you want me to give it to you tomorrow then that’s fine too, I understand if you would rather go to the party than talking to me.” Her insecurity took the better of her at this point, afraid she was bothering him.

“Well ... You do a good job!” He hoped that didn’t sound too lame. When she reassured him that it was fine, he nodded, although he worriedly fidgeted with his collar a bit. “Oh. Well, okay. Thanks for letting me know!” He always erred on the side of caution, so he guessed it made sense that he’d overdress. He’d just hang out at the edges of the party for a bit. Maybe he’d even tell Brooklyn that he wasn’t feeling well so that he didn’t have to dance with her ... It wasn’t that he didn’t want to dance with her, specifically. He was just tired of dancing in general. Or maybe he was overstimulated after everything that happened. Casper needed recharge time, but knowing these parties, he figured he’d be out until the small hours of the morning.

“Thank you.” Stephanie smiled shyly at his compliment. “I didn’t really…make them though.” Her cheeks heated up as she saw that he was blushing. “Is the costume alright?” After she said it out loud she realized how weird it sounded. “Like, does it fit? Cause if it doesn’t just let me know. Please?” Right now Stephanie just wanted to be swallowed up into the ground before she made an even bigger fool of herself. “Not that I hope it doesn’t fit! I mean, you should feel comfortable when wearing….your outfit. Sorry. I’m rambling and I shouldn’t because I know it makes your nervous. And I just only made it worse.” Her eyes darted away from Casper, desperate to try and focus on something else. She didn’t even know what was happening. Seeing Casper be proud of himself made her feel happy. A different kind of happy than seeing Astrid or anyone else of the cast be proud of themselves. Stephanie told herself that it was because Casper was more nervous than anyone else.

“Heading to the party?” Of course he was heading to the party. He was all dressed up for a party, yet she asked him this question. The brunette tapped her fingers onto Emily’s leg as a nervous habit, the little girl stirring against her. Stephanie’s dark eyes darted back to Casper, only now noticing how handsome he looked when he was so proud of himself. “Your tie…” she placed her bag onto the floor, her free hand reaching for his tie. She made sure it was straight before pulling her hand back. “There you go. You know, maybe next time don’t wear a tie to an afterparty. This party is not that formal, just wear a nice button up shirt and you’ll look just as handsome as you do now.” Stephanie didn’t notice the slip up and showed him a smile instead. “Not that you have to listen to me. Just some advice.” She quickly added in case he would get offended by her.

“Oh! Yeah, of course, but ... you keep them looking sharp, right?” As she rambled, he nodded along, but felt his face flush when she voiced her concern about making him nervous. Did everyone in the cast and crew know that he was a wreck? That was pretty embarrassing. He tried playing it off as a joke, mostly because he didn’t want Stephanie to feel bad about it. “Oh, don’t worry about it! I mean, I’m always nervous anyways, so ... you know, you can’t really make it worse.” He laughed, even though it didn’t really sound like a joke. Geez, he wasn’t very good at this. Whatever this was. Normal, human social interaction? Yeah, Casper wasn’t great at that.

Experiencing opening night from behind the scenes was so much different from being on the stage. It was definitely less nerve-wracking, but it also felt like it was just another show. Oh, how she wished she was on that stage with the rest of the cast. Even being an ensemble member would have made her incredibly happy. But she wouldn’t dare to say it out loud, she already felt lucky for having this job. Whilst helping Brooklyn with a quick costume change, she sensed the nerves coming from her, yet she remained calm and just smiled it off. Casper, on the other hand, was different. He hadn’t tried to hide the fact that he was nervous, but as Stephanie listened to him sing she couldn’t hear any. She admired it.

With Emily fast asleep on her arm, Stephanie locked the costume department, putting the key away in her purse. She would have loved to attend the afterparty, but right now her daughter came in first place. She was asleep and Stephanie didn’t want to wake her up because she knew that Emily would whine. Honestly, Stephanie herself couldn’t wait until the moment she could finally crawl in bed. It had been a long and stressful day, having to make changes to Natasha’s dress last minute. It was Stephanie’s own fault though, she should have let Natasha fit it earlier on. The woman was deep in thought about all the things she would have to do tomorrow when she suddenly bumped into someone. “God! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t-” When she looked up her eyes met Casper’s and for a short moment a warm and fuzzy feeling washed over her. “Sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin your suit..” the brunette smiled apologetically at the actor, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You were great, by the way. On the stage. You know….acting and singing.” God, what was happening to her? Normally she didn’t have any trouble talking with someone, but right now not one sentence would come out of her mouth correctly.

Casper made it. Honestly, he was still reeling from the relief. Part of him was sure that he had messed something up without realizing it, but the voice was easier to ignore in the wake of the applause. He felt like he had finally come up for air after swimming underwater until his chest burned. It was an amazing feeling, but the nerves from before had left him feeling pretty exhausted. Part of him wanted to just go back to the hotel room and sleep it off, but he knew that the others would be waiting for him at the afterparty. Plus, Brooklyn and Matthew might worry if he wasn’t there, and he wouldn’t want that. So instead he got dressed, taking just a bit of time to bask in the quiet relaxed feeling before he had to be around people again.