okay

a perfect astrological match 

all of the figs are turning black  i'm going to end up hungry 

I thought I was okay but I am not okay am I ever going to be okay what will make me okay if only I can make me okay but I don't even know how to get there without altering my brain chemistry I am just not okay everything is nothing and my attitude does nothing for me it's this horrible cycle okay I am not okay I thought I was okay but I am not okay am I ever going to be okay

lately in the nights that i've been up until morning, around 4:30 i hear someone scraping their car outside my window and driving off.  i never want to live a life where i am required to wakeup before my bedtime. 

sometimes my bedtime is just when i run out of cigarettes.  unless i stay awake until the stores open again  which is possibly in 90 minutes so  who knows 

I want a new tattoo so bad. I can't stop looking at tattos. I really want a small one on the inside of my left for arm close to the elbow. not text. and just in black and grey but I dono what. I really like how tattoos feel.

show me show me show me how you do that trick, the one that makes me scream