The questions

The worse thing is anxiety. It consumes and destroys. Abstracts from reality. It tests my ability to think logically in a way that plain argument never will.

I don't know what I'm doing. I can't feel reality.

I am overstimulated. Nothing but sensation for the past 36 hours.

You have to be contradictions in order to find balance.

I am a philosopher.   And I don't fully believe in duty.  My father broke my heart.  I loved him.  He was my protector.  But he was an alcoholic.  And he was verbally abusive to women.  I am his daughter.

It's okay if you don't love someone as much as you'd like to.  That voice in your head is your own.  This is very simply you.   Humanity has a nature.  That nature is not as profound you would think.  It's our coding.  We must look at what that coding has produced.  It's difficult to look at the big picture and focus on yourself.   I honestly don't think I am crazy.  I am adept in logic.  I envision an incredible amount of scenarios in my head, possible worlds.  The difference between me and a scientist is that I don't collect data.  In practical matters I excel.   The problem is: I am lazy.  and I am slowly falling in love with life.