HOLD MY COCKTAIL MOLOTOV

getting into linguistics sucks because you will start listening to your friends' conversations thinking "wow! your vowels are fascinating!" but obviously you can never tell them this because you'll sound like a madman. and god forbid you ever meet a non-native speaker, because you'll start looking like a racist pervert every time they use non-standard grammar.

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

They should block chatgpt on uni WiFi the way they used to block coolmathgames

they should make chatgpt automatically redirect to coolmathgames so you can actually fucking learn something

honestly i think people should describe women as "handsome" more often.

not everything is getting worse. at least you don't hear high hopes by panic at the disco every day anymore

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

do not start gambling. go outside and locate a bug. now post it on inaturalist. bam. nature's gacha game

eating rice, there's definitely an upper limit to how much you can eat, but thinking about it in abstract? when filling a plate? it's hard to conceive of it. that's what makes it so dangerous