The Dark Lord

Remember when you had energy to do things? Those were some wild times

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to do silly, frivolous things that serve no other purpose than making you happy.

when i care, i care hard. when i don’t give a fuck, i reallly don’t give a fuck

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich