who am i?

wahhhh. i want to relapse i need something really really awful to happen to me so i can at least be freaked out by something Recent and Legitimate

lately i just feel all fragile and weak and pathetic like a cliche stereotypical "character in media who was written to be a rape victim to give the hero motivation to protect/avenge them" i feel like i'm goi g to get made fun of for being soooo so so scared right now over stuff that hasn't happened in *checks watch* well less than a week but that's one of the lesser examples the worse shit it's been ummmm a few months since....wow that is way more recent than i thought i thought the last time would've been like Years n years away. i mean it's been a long time since i was Raped but that's not the Only Form of sexual assault . &even though i have been reassurred that many many times i still fear that i'm overreacting by referring to an instance where i was physically cornered and groped as a form of sexual assault. i don't knowwww

it's just like everywhere i look it's sexual assault clues man get me out of here. i feel like something is going to Happen Again is it too much to ask to not want to have to think about this for once