☽ CelestialThoughts ☾

And a thousand plum purple flowers bloom

Bringing in tides of firework violet

Is it better to speak or to die?

I let myself drown in waves of thinking we are something more

Sometimes I think I can hear your thoughts or see your colors

When I wanted you today you texted me out of the blue

Green sprouts grow from my skin, reaching for you like the sun.

Do you want more of me?

I do love you, and it hurts more than waking up before dawn.

It hurts to breath sometimes.

Everything you do makes me sing.

Words are futile devices, but I never had the right ones to say to you anyways.

It’s been a few months since my last thoughts of you became immortalized in this form

Time came and passed and I thought I loved you and that you needed to know

But I didn’t tell you in time but perhaps there was never a right time and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway

It really broke my heart when I learned of who you are doing now

I’m not so sure she can love you like I do but I really do hope she makes you happy.

It’s kind of weird because I’m having trouble remembering what my life was like before you

I can’t really imagine how my life will be since I focused so hard on planning our future

But now I’m the fool who made a poor emotional investment in you when I knew I’d never make a profit

I don’t really want your business to fail too, but it feels a little better to think I do until I think of you

But then I remember that I really don’t want my pain to be your pain too

So I shut up and swallow you and close my eyes until the sun turns my eyelids into a fiery dance

Does the dying mother turtle know she is the last of her species?

Is she aware of her own extinction?

When the sun sets cherry red over the sea, 

is the sailor grateful to have been spared another day?

When blood read tears leak through the morning haze, 

Should we all heed its warning as a symbol of our own mortality?

When trees lose their leaves in fall I wonder if they fear death, 

or if they simply know they will sleep until warm spring breezes stir the buds of May. 

This is the winter’s tale, the midsummer night’s dream,

the circle of life,

Drown me, Ophelia.

Drag me to your flowery depths.

Take my breath from my lips and the sigh from my tongue.

Make my tears mix with the moss and the leafy willow tree.

Wrap my heart in the rosy gossamer of your gown,

She sang her hopes and dreams and loves to the wall in the back of the room

I watched as you thought she whispered her desires to you,

As your eyes screamed your own into the void of chairs and tables and me between you.

And then she saw me as I tore my heart from my own chest watching you watching her.

The warmth in her eyes did not pity me,

But she understood what you could not.

And so we left together,

You wanting suburban peace

When summer is over,

And my sunset tears have dried to my cheeks,

When the lake shore sand

Is more garnet than glass,

I will whisper your name to the clouds.

Why do I keep swiping

When I know i won’t see you on that app.

When can we make out to lofi beats?