moon of the lepard variety

Simultaneously, he can be one of the most selfish people you can imagine. He will do and use everything he can to get what he wants. He will lie and deceive and exploit. Even the people closest to him are not safe. And when he gets like this, his actions can turn incredibly cruel. Even if he does not intend them to. Mainly, because selfishness is a tool of survival. And a hurt animal will lash out at anyone.

I do wonder if that is why he ruined tf!megiis date. Because he was stuck in the null/void for more than two months and it became a little too familiar in that time. Because the tears dropping down onto his cheeks taste like the same salty bitterness that he got to know all these years ago, when he first was imprisoned. Because he was lonely and tired and for the first time in a long while he didn't think he would have to be. That somehow he was not this doomed failure, waiting on his own decay. And someone dared to endanger that, so he lashed out. Because he is selfish and he will act out, if it ensures his survival.

I do wonder, for how long a bleeding lamb can limp before it grows too tired? If he will gnash his teeth and bite and bark, until he is no longer a little lamb? If his desire to cling onto tf!megii will spiral in catastrophic ways, tf!lukey himself is not even aware of yet? And if push comes to shove, will his desperation drive her completely away? There is only so long you can lick your wounds before they start getting infected .

THIS THIS THIS

about the bitsmp part, flight lukey did tell flight megi and flight legs that he used to have a pet polar bear that sat by his desk tbf

HOT TAKE I think it's interesting to go in chronological order. also because as much as its possible its out of order, the way irl lukey tends to storytell doesn't line up with that imo– all the out-of-order stuff was from Hope, and cc!lukey is far more play-by-play. (not saying those interpretations are wrong, just imo)

the realm > I mean, we all agree on this. this is where !lukey was made. I like to think before everything, lukey wasn't really a player in the same way– more of an NPC, or a mob (think villager– his village got attacked by pillagers). but once the realm ends, tr!lukey suddenly becomes !lukey, and is forced to search for another home

house heir > arguably the hardest to place on the timeline, but I say arguably because I'd argue its pretty clearly right after the realm. reasoning? this is the only time we see !lukey clearly distressed about not being on the realm. I don't think its a stretch to say his character on house heir was all masking and repression– because hh!lukey was extremely unserious, in a way no other !lukey variant has been. and to see that, at the end, he breaks down, because he thinks its a simulation? if that doesn't read as coping, idk what does. like. this is the only time we see !lukey want to go back to the realm. so I'd argue its directly after (maybe followed Bad?). for stages of grief, I'd call this denial. 2.5. he leaves house heir pretty abruptly, but is given a wayfinder stone, and seems to imply he teleported away someplace– arguably, the null, after he seemed so nervous about getting there. this begins our short period of bargaining.

bannerfall > this is the shortest by far, but also the most arguable. here we know only a few things: !lukey is with tubbo, has a ticket to the null (possibly one regained), and isn't too fussed about getting home. this is interesting, and I interpert it as lukey having gone back to the null with the wayfinder stone from house heir, meeting tubbo in the null (since we knew he became a keeper), and following him to bannerfall (supported by the fact that this is the same irl time as lukey visiting the realm public, aka what the private realm turned into). its also semi-implied that where Freddy is is some corner of the null????? so. I think tubbo with his newfound keeper powers used it for that shit

cobblemon > ohhhh cobblemon cobblemon. in my timeline, this makes sense, since lukey got into cobblemon through tubbo– after bannerfall, where they were last seen together. here, we see a more settled version of !lukey, who seems to be coming to terms with the fact the realm is gone... except for all the bloodthirst. yeah, we've definitely gone to anger. cobblemon!lukey (wants to be) a contract killer, or bodyguard, or something strong. here we get the return of my all-time favorite !lukey character trait: self-worth issues! yeah, he does spend all of cobblemon searching for some sort of home and generally feeling alienated. this is a !lukey that both wants to move on from the realm and find a new place to be, and is also desperate for any sense of home. fitting he's the only one to try and stop the apocolypse– he thought he had more time here.

the flight > OHHH THE FLIGHT MY BELOVED. if you're thinking "wait what about such and such smp!?", dw, I'll get to that later. as for the flight... its the closest !lukey's gotten to a new home, ever since the realm ended. here we finally see him both accepting that the realm existed, and that it's gone... and finally allow himself to make new connections (LAVENDERLOSS LAVENDERLOSS LA-) psst– bonus SMPs and final thoughts under the cut!

//ls spoilers

honestly? the only part about it that bothers me is the fact it was off stream. but lowkey a) he's gonna get his gear back, b) may is crafting him 2 hearts (so he profits 1), and c) he can use this to guilt-trip everyone involved.

the stocks are up icl. I think (while understandable) him logging off right after wasn't because he was genuinely upset. it was the natural way for him to leave, it makes a statement, anddd he was probably avoiding grinding his gear back (since he didn't know they were giving it back)

he's gonna be on today (according to may's stream yesterday) to at the very least get his gear and heart(s) back, so generally this is a win imo