i know there is that translated interview that talks about how if ash had lived, he and eiji wouldâve just parted ways, and i guess these are my thoughts on that
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@leotacica
i know there is that translated interview that talks about how if ash had lived, he and eiji wouldâve just parted ways, and i guess these are my thoughts on that
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âA hurt tiger is the most dangerous beast on Earth.â
Coyote II
by Anime Philosopher A Perfect Day for Banana Fish Really nice analysis of Salingerâs short story and quite good ideas of how this will play out in the anime/manga.
This last scene was heartbreakingly beautiful and someone needs to give Ash Lynx a hug T^T

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Chapter 32 - Explaining âAnata, anata, anata (you, you, you)â
While I was reading chapter 32 spoilers I noticed that this statement by Yashiro might be lost in translation, so I thought about elaborating it for those that are interested. Explaining how second person is used in the context of Japanese conversation is actually pretty damn complicated but hopefully I can explain it in a way that makes sense ^^
In general, Japanese people avoid using the word âyouâ when conversing with others as it is impolite under most circumstances. If the person has a title, you would use that e.g. Sensei, Kashira, Senpai. If not, you use their names e.g. Yashiro, Yashiro-san etc. to avoid using the word âyouâ Â
So, when is it appropriate to use the word âyouâ?
Before we get to this, itâs helpful to note that there are several ways of saying the word âyouâ in Japanese. Iâve listed the most common ones used nowadays (in order of politeness)
Anata (ăăȘă) â most polite way of saying the word âyouâ (tend to be used more by girls than guys but can be both genders). In general, only used when referring to someone equal or lower than yourself, can be both formal and impolite depending on the context you use it in.
Kimi (ć) â used when referring to someone equal or lower than yourself (used more by guys than girls) less polite compared to Anata but much politer than Anta/Omae
Anta (ăăă/ăąăłăż) â can be used by both genders, comes from the word âAnataâ but way more informal. Impolite way of saying âyouâ in most context
Omae (ăć) â used only by guys and similarly to Anta, impolite in most context Â
Teme (ăŠăă)/Kisama (èČŽæ§) â used only by guys and rudest way to say the word âyouâ. You often hear it in anime/manga to insult/express anger at another person but in real life it is not generally used Â
So back to the question about when it is appropriate/okay to use the word âyouâ without necessary being rudeâŠ
1.     When older person is using it to refer to someone younger/less authority (e.g. teacher to student, boss to his subordinates, senpai to kouhai)
Yashiro often refers to his subordinates (Doumeki/Nanahara) as âOmaeâ and Misumi refers to Yashiro as âOmaeâ. While older person can refer to someone younger/less authority as âyouâ, in general, younger person should never be using the word âyouâ at someone who is older/has more authority unless they want to be disrespectful.
2.     When there is strong desire/need to emphasise the word âYouâ
e.g. I like you [Kimi/Anata ga suki], I need you, what is your name? etc (but even in this case, it is unusual for someone younger to use the word âyouâ when conversing with older person and whether itâs rude or not is very context dependent).
3.     Between two people that are intimate/close
Husband can refer to his wife as Omae and wife can refer to husband as Anata and it can be an endearment in certain context (more commonly accepted in western Japan than eastern).
Similarly, close male friends can use the word âOmaeâ especially in the context where their relationship is solid enough that formalities donât matter. (e.g. Yashiro and Kageyama)Â Â
So how is Doumeki using the word âyouâ? From volume 1-3 there is two instances where Doumeki uses the word âAnata (you)â at Yashiro
âIâll do anything if I can be by your sideâ (volume 1, chapter 3)
âI canât ask for it to stop if thatâs what you want to doâ (volume 3, chapter 15)
We see Doumeki using the word âAnata (you)â during a more intimate scene with Yashiro when there is only two of them together. While he should really be saying âKashira (boss)â instead of âAnata (you)â, he uses it here to emphasise the word âyouâ and to make his statement more personal by breaking the boundary between boss/subordinate relationship. While Yashiro is clearly noticing this, he doesnât comment on it. If it was coming from any of the other subordinates, like Nanahara or Sugimoto Iâm pretty sure theyâll be thoroughly beaten up. (He later does mention that he has a soft spot for Doumeki and it shows in this instance too)
From end of volume 4 onwards we start to see Doumeki use âAnataâ much more frequently. He says it a total of 5 times at Yashiro during the time they spend together at his apartment.
Some examples: âI have always loved touching your hairâ; âNo if I hadnât met you I would beâŠâ (volume 5 chapter 24)
Here the word âAnataâ conveys a more possessive tone akin to those exchanged between lovers.
In chapter 32, Doumeki again refers to Yashiro as âAnataâ
âI will not leave your sideâ
Yashiro repeats the word âAnataâ back at Doumeki to make a statement that he is overstepping his boundaries as it is not a term that should be used between a boss and his subordinate. He also states right after that it was a mistake for him to sleep with Doumeki (Just because weâve slept together, donât think that you can boss me around is the undertone here)
Doumeki briefly corrects himself and says âKashiraâ but is again saying âAnataâ later in this chapter which I find quite funny.
some ash appreciation I already love him a lot
Great anime for Saezuru fans to watch this season
I read Banana Fish over a decade ago (serialised from 1985-1994) and recently discovered that itâs been adapted into an anime (much to my present surprise!).
To refresh my memory, I went back to read the manga series again and I noticed quite a lot of similarities between Ash (main protagonist of Banana Fish) and Yashiro,
Ash is a leader of street gang
Charismatic, drop dead gorgeous, incredibly smart but genuinely cares for those close to him
Has had an abusive childhoodÂ
Meets pure-hearted cinnamon bun who will eventually help him heal and comes to terms with what happened in the past Â
Sounding familiar enough?
The story is plot driven and revolves around solving the mysteries surrounding Banana Fish and conflict between street gangs and mafia.
If you need a good anime recommendation this season, look out for Banana fish. It deals with quite a lot of heavy themes and by no means light hearted but I highly recommend it. Itâs regarded as one of the classics in the genre of Shoujo manga (Shounen ai) and I feel that fans of Saezuru will also greatly enjoy this series.
âăă©ăCDăćăéł„ăŻçŸœă°ăăăȘăïŒć·»ăæŹæ„çșćŁČïŒăăăăăéĄăăăŸăïœïŒăăšăâ
The 4th drama CD of Saezuru tori wa habatakanai was released today!
The double CD includes chapters 17-22 (unabridged), the extra booklet âA Flame in the Distanceâ that came with the first edition of Saezuru volume 4, as well as an original track that Sensei wrote the script for.
Yoneda-sensei also drew a new illustration of Yashiro and Doumeki for the booklet (the one in the upper left corner of the above picture).
Y: I heard the 4th drama CD is out?
D: Yes.
Y: So people are going to listen to all the perverted things you did to me, again âŠ
D: Iâm sorry.
Y: Iâll forgive you if all of the profits go to our group.
Sample tracks and info about the extra card/comic that you will get if you order from certain stores can be found HERE.

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Eat - Saezuru
Eat, heâd said.
After this urging from Yashiro, Doumeki could only lean in, grasping hold of the hand that held the spoon, he took it into his mouth. He ate from the spoon the way he wanted to eat Yashiro, tongue tongue licking the curved surface, his gaze did not leave Yashiroâs face, the slight parting of the lips , he remembers the feel of the soft lips around his cock, and something stirs, impulsively he reaches out for Yashiroâs waist, his hand is on the crisp cotton shirt, he pulls it upwards, untucking it from the trousers and as soon as itâs loose, his hand slips inside, stroking up Yashiroâs warm skin, all the time his gaze not leaving Yashiroâs.
Yashiro had not predicted this, he realised he no longer had a sense of certainty of what Doumeki would do, the obedient servant was stepping out of bounds, maybe it was seeing Doumeki in clothes he normally didnât see, maybe it was the surroundings that were strange to him, but Yashiro was curious to see how this would go, and he could not deny there was a frisson of excitement in it all.
Doumekiâs large hand against his skin, made him aware of the own rise and fall of his breath, his eyes were drawn to mouth and the tongue that moved slowly and surely over the metallic edges. The same tongue that had worked itâs way over his body earlier.
âI think youâve eaten it all now. â
Doumeki disconnected with the spoon, but a hungry look remained on his eyes. His grip tightened ever so slightly over Yashiroâs hand, and he bent his head down again and as he did, his tongue flicked out over Yashiroâs knuckles, a wet sensation that instantly cooled with the air contact, all the time the other hand working itâs way up the side of Yashiroâs body until his thumb grazed over the nipple and Yashiro felt the reaction somewhere else.
Doumeki slipped his tongue between his fingers, tugging at them, prying them loose from  the spoon that soon fell onto the tatami floor with a dull thud. Then he was kissing the knuckles one by one, working methodically from the ring finger to the pinky, then the second knuckle down, then the third, then the tips of his fingers. Yashiro could think of no one who had ever done this to him before, a sensation to savour, how could something like this turn him on, this light flurry of lips on skin, his cock stiffening to the response like he was some sensitive virgin? His eyes refocussed on the Doumekiâs bandaged hand, and on the spur of the moment, he bent down to kiss it.
Doumeki froze, his hands stopped moving, his mouth stopped moving, Yashiro looked up to realise how close their faces were, the tips of their nose almost brushing.
âBoss,â Doumeki said, and Yashiro could feel the warmth of his breath.
âWhat is it-â
Doumeki didnât let him finish his sentence, it was stopped by the contact of their mouths, this was far more shocking than the licking of the fingers, the thumb still circling his stiffening nipple. Yashiro reacted by pulling back, but he was backed up against the wall, and Doumeki was pushing forward, making Yashiro strongly aware of the physicality and the heat of his body and their tongues were meshing, warm, wet and desperate, and as the kiss deepened, he realised they both were, he wanted to feel every inch of Doumekiâs muscular naked body against his, he wanted to be licked as clean as the discarded spoon, and to have his brains fucked out, and for Doumeki to not stop touching him or kissing him, and the desire for having it all was so overwhelming and uncontrollable that he abruptly pushed Doumeki away with force. The look of shock on Doumekiâs face stung at Yashiro, his breathing was rough, and his thoughts were in disarray.
âI..â he started and stopped. What was he going to say? What would he normally say.
âHere isnât good, shouldnât you at least treat your guests better?â He said, trying to keep his voice light, wondering if his face, his body was not betraying him, he held his hand in a fist to stop the trembling.
âBoss.. I, there is..â
âThe bed?â Yashiro supplied.
Doumeki nodded mutely, in his usual way, and somehow that helped to calm Yashiro down. Yashiro made to get up, and Doumeki immediately lent his arm. Now he was on firmer territory.
âWhy donât you lead the way, we can finish eating in there,â regaining his composure.
Everything after that would be just like normal. At least thatâs what he was telling himself.
Scrolling down all my posts from my @macabowpen blog and saw that this had 81 notes!
This has been a proper slow burn, I donât remember many notes for it from the first few weeks when I originally posted??!!
chapter 25
I donât think Iâve ever gone through so many different emotions in such a short space of time. Itâs been almost 24 hours since Iâve read the chapter but itâs been on auto-play in my mind and I canât stop thinking about it ;-;
My feeling was so mixed up in the beginning because Yashiro looks so damn scared, uncertain, lost and nothing like the confident, in control, playful boss that weâre so accustomed to seeing...
But through midway, I feel he regains a bit of composure and starts ordering Doumeki, so I feel bit better about the whole situation
and I love that theyâre communicating quite well during sex
I also love the disobedient Doumeki going âNope, not going to hurt you bossâ
Here you need more lubricationâŠ
Let me go get you a pillow so youâre not going to be uncomfortableÂ
And Yashiro in the end is like, âgeez I give upâ and lets Doumeki do it from the front <3
But just as I was beginning to think it was all working out and this sex was not a bad idea after all...we get the flashbacks and crying Yashiro and I feel so sad again :(
His face at the end of the chapter also worries me immensely
Some people have commented that he looks determined but Iâm not so sureâŠhe looks tired, sad and more venerable than Iâve ever seen him...
Iâll just end by pointing out few other things that caught my attention (it would be great if someone can enlighten me because I feel unsure about both of these things...)
1. There seems to be some miss communication happening between Yashiro and Doumeki here
Yashiro doesnât think Doumeki understands his plea âdonât break meâ...
2. Weâve always known that Yashiroâs (sick, paedophile) step dad was at the core of how his personality/sexual orientation developed and in this chapter we get a little more insight into their relationshipÂ
Little Yashiro looks so pure and innocent here it breaks my heart ;-;
To me, it looks like heâs comforting his step dad, telling him âdonât worry about it, I enjoy painâ
Which leads me to question, why would Yashiro tell his step dad that he enjoys pain?? I feel like this is a key moment that leads to him being attached to painful sexâŠ
I always thought that little Yashiro would be more fearful of his abusive step dad but this panel makes me question my initial assumptions⊠Â
Misumi and Ryuuzaki
Iâve always wondered why Misumi and Ryuuzaki treat Yashiro differently. They donât seem to have any romantic feelings for him. I thought it was pity but still does not sit well for me. And I just realized that I guess I feel the same way as they do. Yashiroâs like a wounded stray cat that desperately needs to be cared for but retaliates as you try and help it. You just want to tie him down so you can tend his wounds but he seems to want those wounds left behind.Â
Pity is not enough to describe what I feel for Yashiro. I want to protect him, care for him, heal him and I guess thatâs what Misumi and Ryuuzaki feel, too. They want or hope Yashiro would pick them to cure him.Â
However, only Yashiro can choose who is going to heal him, and he chooses Doumeki. Â
ooooh this! âïž
I think both of them share a feeling with a common ground - one sided love. Or some sort of attachment. Maybe itâs not love, because all of them are damaged, but the bond between them and Yashiro is strong. So strong that both of them want to save him - in their own way. But honestly, I think that Hirata has smth for Yashiro too⊠his hatred is too emotional. I have a feeling that Sensei has smth for us in store in this area too! ^^
Misumi and Ryuusakiâs affection is a different kind of love for Yashiro. Too complex or shady to easily define them as paternal love and romantic love, respectively. On Hirata, YES I do think so. Not only is he feeling inferior towards Yashiro, on how heâs specially treated by Misumi, I do think thereâs more to brotherly jealousy going on with Hirata. Kind of reminds me of Ogawa Chiseâs Ibitsu no Kakera where the older brother hates and is jealous of his younger bro, while the younger one is obsessed with the older. Itâs incest brought by hate from the older bro. Obviously, itâs not the exact same thing with Hirata but his hate and envy is as strong as love for Yashiro. He denies it and is disgusted by it. Heâs ego is crushed because the public toilet is recognized not only with his bed skills but his money skills, as well. Also, Yashiro stand out, too much, in their world, and he hates it. And his disgust is not also the same with men Yashiro has slept with before. Others would taste Yashiro to feel empowered, a way of releasing their disgust. Hirata wonât give in to that, knowing heâd fall for Yashiroâs hands/power.Â
Insecurity, hate, envy, disgust andâŠlove.Â
Every character can get pretty complex, huh?Â
Iâm pretty positive that Misumiâs love for Yashiro comes from paternal or protective instincts rather than romantic. Misumi is respected by many not only because of his charisma but because heâs genuinely very caring and fiercely protective of people that he cares about. For example, he married his ex-wife knowing she only had a year left and made sure Amou was not left alone after her death. Misumi is fascinated and attached to Yashiro but more as a person rather than romantic interest.
Misumi said in volume 2 that Yashiro reminded him of his late wife so heâs attachments toward Yashiro might also stem from the feelings he has towards his ex-wife.
For Hirata, I find it difficult to see any love towards YashiroâŠ
I think the emotionally fuelled anger comes not because of love towards Yashiro but more of his emotional attachments toward Misumi. Hirata has had a longer relationship with Misumi than Yashiro and probably has worshipped Misumi. So that fact that Misumi chose Yashiro over him is unbearable. (To put it in an Asian context it would be like your dad giving all the inheritance to the younger son when itâs meant to go to the eldest ^^)
Out of the three, I think Ryuuzaki is the only one that might have romantic interests towards Yashiro. However, I donât think he has any self-awareness that he loves Yashiro and probably would never admit it...Â
Ryuuzaki risked his own life for Yashiro by telling the hitman not to kill and also vowed to take vengeance if something happened to Yashiro Â
Iâd say thatâs quite intense no?
I also find this panel from the backstory in volume 2 quite memorable. He looks kinda unhappy/mixed feelings when he hears that Yashiro is now with Misumi