I was so scared of someone breaking me

You say that life is beautiful and I can see that it can be. I just can't see how it can be beautiful for me. Beautiful things happen to other people. I'm destined to watch from the sidelines and dream that one day, that could be me: happy, free, smiling. But I know in my heart that it never will be. My dreams will stay dreams and my life will probably not be beautiful.

I've spent hours obsessing over why I'm not good enough. Hours lost, standing in front of the mirror, studying my face and wondering if it's because I'm not pretty enough. Reading back old conversations and wondering if I'm annoying, too needy, too much. Will anyone ever stick around? I try so hard, but I'm just never worth it in the end.