Bly

Back from Caticlan.

A part of my heart is still there. I had this feeling that I somehow belong. Then I searched the maps and turned out I lived in that same island when I was around 7 years old and stayed there for a year or two. Roxas is in that same big island. I really miss the talaba and the crabs and the seafood that I remember in my childhood. The memories may fade but the flavor of talaba is something I will never forget. I even met some tribes there. Philippines is a beautiful country.

What my working station looks like at the end of the week.

Today is Friday, but I was forced to work overtime due to urgent unexpected bugs we had at work. Due to a deployment that I was against (personally), but I don't have a say lately in these decisions. At the end of the day, we will all just face the consequences. In this case I am directly affected and I am not going to be mad about it. I plan to also let them know of the consequences, I will only work on urgent ones and leave the rest for next week. Tomorrow is our wedding Anniversary, so I will turn off my notifications at work.

I initially pushed back to the their target timeline, but I was told by my direct manager that by me saying no to our director sounded like a disrespect. Well I don't know what politics and what feelings I may hurt by saying no but business is business and I was just trying to be reasonable and transparent. All of my teammates are very concerned about the way things are being done, no testing, direct deployments to production, no clear written requirements, the involvement of a lot people in the meeting with each own opinion and nothing is settled and my direct manager that also don't know how to push back to their expectations.

Sorry for the rant but I was immersed in work lately and I feel liken my world revolves around here now.

Regardless of those problems, I am happy to say that I do love working with them. We had a meeting earlier and we are all laughing at it. I am so glad they are just like me that is laughing at serious situations, oh I would like to mention that we are laid back and ranting a little bit in that call because the director is NOT in there. I guess we just have a very demanding top leader. I guess she has a lot of pressures too on her side or maybe it is for her ego and pride, because they tend to have those. And they all talk about AI. I don't think they know that it's not applicable to all their employees. For me, if I will translate what they said in the general meeting: They will utilize AI, see how it goes and will not add new employees. They will train the employees to use AI instead.

I ate a lot of ‘Kamoteng Kahoy’ last night.

Kamoteng kahoy is something like an equivalent of potatoes in the west. It is a starchy root crop food that you can grow in your backyard and its a staple in every provinces in the Philippines. I had mine given by my husband’s aunt, Ninang Janice. A sister of his father. We went to their hometown. Alvin last saw her since he was around a pre-schooler.

The house is a semi furnished investment and you can see a lot to be improved and it is a modern house that complements the surroundings. I can say it hasn’t reached its full efficiency yet. However, the people in it are very cozy and warm. They have welcomed us with open arms. I met Ninang Janice for the first time and she has this angelic face, she looks young to be a mother of three. I could tell she got her eyes from her mom. So I asked them for a photo of their late mother. I figured Alvin may want to see her as he never got a chance to met her in person, she died 2 weeks before he was born. They searched but no one has it. Until their father arrived and he showed us this very old small black and white picture from his wallet. And I thought this is the coolest thing ever. The photo is wrinkled, tested by the times. It is old but is kept safely in his wallet that you can sense the nostalgia in every corner of that two dimensional thing. Physically plain but it holds a bucket for your imagination and you can picture her with her 5 boys and a daughter with their Kubo. Her and her husband farming while their children are running around, her oldest taking care of their youngest. Something that you can watch on a very old Filipino film. I can still see a glimpse of it when we passed by their barrio with the dirt road remains that are not yet cemented and by the way the boys they tell me stories about the old times about this whole road was muddy during rain and so dusty during summer, making it difficult for transportation so they often walk miles. That day, that is not the only story I heard as they all gathered in circle in that house. Almost all of the siblings are complete, only one missing and cannot attend to this short notice. This is not a reunion but it became one because of a sudden gathering due to a death of one of their cousins. This is an unplanned surprise. I immediately initiated a group photo of this rare day. They look great. Growing up in a female dominated household, it was fascinating to just observe and listen to their stories and bickering.

Tita Janice is a fine host, she offered me suman, bili-bilo and a meal. I hesitated for a second but got too shy to refuse. I ate the whole thing and all the food I was given. They complimented how talkative and friendly I was, a quality she wished her future daughter in law possesses. I was so full that even at the wake ceremony I need to still eat biscuits, sopas and was offered coffee. All I managed to consume. The drive back home with just me and my husband is filled with backstories we just experienced.