HASTA LA LATER KEITH.

no phone i did not “miss a call” i watched it ring the whole time

body parts that need regular moisturising are literally so fucking stupid like. my brother in christ we’re 60% water

what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

At 4am you experience new, worse emotions that suck bad and aren't good. However, you can play videogames a bit longer. "The Beast's Dilemma"

[wakes up] [clown vanishes] aaaahhh that was a nice rest. i slept like a baby all night. time to start the day [gets up] [takes a shower and brushes teeth] [gets dressed] [goes about my day taking care of business] [comes home] fwoo i’m tired. it’s time for a hard-earned night’s rest. [lies down] [falls asleep] [evil clown materializes in my room and watches me sleep all night]

no text post has ever started better than “[wakes up] [clown vanishes]” I’m hooked into the story I want to know more about this world

SOOOOO SICK OF BEING ONLINE MAYBE I AM AN ADDICT TO MY PHONE MAYBE THE BOOMERS WERE RIGHT!!!!!!!!! please god please please please let me go to an art museum let me lay in the sun and read a book or something oh my god I am going to KILL MY SELF !!!!!!!!!!!!! #ketodiet #indiefilm #cottagecore #style

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.