Guess which dumb fuck deleted their blog by accide

“What if we were normal about men” every time i walk past a man i send a psychic shockwave directly to their prostate just to remind them it’s there

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

WE'RE pissing on company time

Y'all don't understand how much I want all the messy npc drama. Brennan, I beg, for my sake release the lady whistledown style gossip rag of you playing dolls with yourself 😭.

So basically what I'm hearing is theyre lowering the drinking age to "ehh whatever"

Three children in a trenchcoat holding up a stock photo of an old person to the camera and getting away with four liters of 100 proof vodka

parents got a new cat they named lord montague and this morning i heard my dad in the other room say "i would have to advise against that decision, my lord" followed by a crashing sound

babe wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on indeed until i start to cry