LEGEND

insane:

do i have to say it.

pureshadow.

goldenspice.

utterly compelled by:

interesting dynamics im extremely compelled by and always want to see more of.

puremystic - the respective healers of their groups, they shoulder a lot of burdens. Mystic Flour is probably the only beast that could truly break Pure Vanilla and get him to stop caring about everything and everyone. likewise, he's probably the one she'd have the easiest time healing with. he has so much love for the world, i think it would leak into her without her noticing until one day she wakes up and finds that her heart is beating again and she didn't even notice when it started.

purespice - put that bug in therapy. i think Burning Spice wouldn't think much of Pure Vanilla at first, but it's a well known fact that you do NOT fuck with healers, and Pure Vanilla is canonically hailed as one of the most powerful mages on Earthbread. i think once Burning Spice convinces Pure Vanilla to actually spar with him, their sparring is immensely good for both of them (but so very catastrophic). Burning Spice gets to vent his feelings and get sparring aftercare from the softest man in the world, and Pure Vanilla gradually learns to stop holding his own feelings back for the sake of others.

puresalt - im rapidly becoming more Insane about this one. Silent Salt wanted to split the Soul Jams to give everyone on Earthbread a more equal chance? Pure Vanilla was the deciding vote and persuading sway on allowing research into the magic candies to happen, so they could figure out how to split that power for everyone. Pure Vanilla is Solidarity embodied (ffs, he's who White Lily looked to in BY12 to learn Solidarity from) and you cannot tell me Silent Salt would not be insanely attracted to that. Pure Vanilla would also be strong enough and sane of mind enough to (gently) help Silent Salt realize his own flaws and fix them.

lilyflour - it's the Sheer Willpower White Lily displays just by Existing to oppose Dark Enchantress, who saw the truth and fell into despair the same way Mystic Flour did. White Lily held fast to who she was, refused to give up herself, and refused to give up so that she could continue to help all of cookiekind. White Lily did what Mystic Flour wasn't strong enough to do - she would definitely be drawn to White Lily's resolution. i dont know if Mystic Flour could fix any of White Lily's problems, but White Lily could definitely change a lot of Mystic Flour. it has the same basis as Mysticcacao to me.

lilysugar - (delighted) i want to watch this train crash in slow motion over and over. they both want the happiness of all cookies. they both believe they're doing the right thing. White Lily is smart, but i think if Eternal Sugar was careful about it (methodical), she could prey on White Lily's guilt to drag her into sloth, ultimately managing to convince her that it's true happiness. it's like hollysugar in a different font. this post mostly sums it up

shadowsalt - im honestly just really attracted to the ghost of their relationship as paralleled to the complex utter mess of feelings that is purelily's canon dynamic. like holy shit, what was going on with the Salt of Solidarity and the Fount of Knowledge. also incredibly compelled by the eventual fallout when Shadow Milk realizes that Silent Salt is responsible for the hell that was the Silver Tree.

they are queerplatonic:

firm preference for a queerplatonic relationship with these ones.

polyancients - yueah.

pureholly, purecacao

purecheese - im specifically a big fan of Pure Vanilla being called "my treasure".

cacaocheese

mysticsugar - codependent rot queens. Eternal Sugar encourages Mystic Flour not to care, and Mystic Flour assures Eternal Sugar that this is what brings her the most peace. sloth requires a certain amount of apathy, and apathy brings about sloth.

shadowspice - big fan of them roughhousing with each other. boys being boys (as in, shenanigans and dumbassery). they're both happiest in their corrupted states. Shadow Milk encourages Burning Spice to break free of any and all restrictions, and Burning Spice could probably help fill in that chasm of loneliness that Shadow Milk feels.

Feel Good:

ships i enjoy. this tier is interchangeable with the queerplatonic tier in terms of enjoyment!!

hollycacao, hollycheese, hollylily - she is their pillar. Hollyberry i love you. tbh with these three, they could be any flavor of friends, romantic partners, or queerplatonic partners and id enjoy it the same.

hollyspice - queens of self destructive habits. i dont think they would be good for each other as romantic partners, but their friendship would be absolutely everything for each other.

hollyshadow - she could fix him. he could try and get very close to breaking her mind, but i think her resolution is stronger than his. she is as relentless as Pure Vanilla is, and Shadow Milk is not immune to being picked up and flung over a strong muscled shoulder. she would encourage and 100% participate in any of his harmless pranks, she loves mischief and i think having a partner in crime to rein in his more destructive tendencies would be good for him.

hollysugar

mysticcacao

cacaolily - i pointed out White Lily's resolution above in lilyflour, but im reiterating it here because Dark Cacao absolutely would be attracted to the same exact quality in her. she is so strong and extremely resolute and she does what she does for the good of all. he would admire it. meanwhile, White Lily admires him for the same strength. they're both shy about feelings tho, so they'd need a push to actually become anything else <3

burningsugar - admittedly, i haven't thought about these two as much, but their kingdom interaction is adorable and i think they're cute.

so bad for each other 🍿👀:

i want to watch them be so bad for each other because it would be so fun and interesting to see what exactly happens and in what order everything blows up. that or they're divorced, exes, or kismesis.

goldensugar - Golden Cheese was all too willing to rot in the simulation of the Golden City forever, all for the happiness of her citizens. Eternal Sugar would absolutely encourage her to keep doing that, to go back to that, and i think it'd eventually wear Golden Cheese down because everything was so much easier in the Golden City...

burningsalt - corrupting was the best thing to happen to Burning Spice. are you kidding me. he's so fucking happy as a beast, like even when he's defeated, his defeat animation is FIRED UP. he's just so happy to be here, to make a mark on the world. finding out that Silent Salt is the one who sealed them away? i can't imagine the fallout but it would be devastating. we would get to see what Burning Spice is like when he's actually mad.

shadowflour - if you go with the theory that Shadow Milk is the one who spread the rumor that caused Mystic Flour's enleavenment to fail... the fallout from that would be devastating.

shadowsugar - mean girls. exes, divorcees, kismesis, whatevers funniest. like don't get me wrong, they love each other, but they WILL shade each other the way girls shade each other ykwim. its subtle and polite and ultimately based in love, but it is also seething.

i trust them w nobody except my wife:

i like to focus on the complexities of these ship dynamics, which is where my enjoyment of ships actually stems from. i tend to avoid others depictions of these ships, not out of hatred, but rather because i like it a Very Specific Way. and wifey plays toys with me

purelily

pureshadowlily

lilycheese

shadowlily

silentlily

500k or an AU:

i think it would either take an immense amount of work/slow burning, or displacement out of canon entirely to make these ships work. im mostly neutral on these.

hollyflour

cacaosalt

shadowcacao

goldenflour

goldenshadow

burninglily

burningflour

polysouljams (? do they have a name)

polybeasts

intriguing to dissect:

ive yet to think about these ones in depth, but a cursory glance gives reason to believe that doing so will yield intriguing results.

puresugar

hollysalt

burningcacao

cacaosugar

goldensalt

silentflour