Adventure Starts Here

I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise. “Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee.” And I don’t mean to. I don’t mean to.

It’s gotten to a point where i’m afraid to publicly express even the most benign approval of any artist or individual for fear that they may have done something problematic that I never knew about, and that a post will be made about how i support someone who is evil, and my income will suffer because of it.

I am afraid even to allow myself to form any sort of emotional connection to any artist’s work.

I’m afraid to form any sort of close friendships with other artists and even most of my own fans for fear that someday they’ll do something bad and then i’ll get called out by association for being friends with them, and my income will suffer because of it.

An unreasonable amount of pressure is laid upon queer people (particularly those with an audience) by other queer people to be in-the-know about who’s dangerous and who isn’t, and so, I am on eggshells 200% of the time, for fear that everything i’ve worked so hard for over the past 3 years will disappear overnight.

I’ve watched several friends’ careers fizzle and die over rumors, misinterpretations, quotations taken out of context, troll callouts,

Someone even put me on a TERF list last year (yup. for real. ME. 4lung. a trans lesbian. on a TERF list.) and a few people actually believed it.

I thought it was hilarious at the time, but now that my income is bound so closely to my web presence, this kind of thing would have had me devastated had it happened more recently.

I understand that everyone is just trying to keep everyone else safe. And I think that is very admirable and encouragable. But i’ll be damned if i’m not terrified of anyone who would take advantage of that fact for their own gain or amusement.

18 November 2021

I love these! From a series by photographer Sophia Vogel called With and Without. Which she summarises (translated from German):

The project and each individual image is intended to encourage society to think about itself, its own body, about acceptance. For diversity and against beauty ideals (advertising) and all the environs for the exterior. I advocate in this work for self-love and acceptance of one’s own body, as well as the acceptance of others with their peculiarities.

It’s also an excellent illustration of the absurdity of our default clothed habits. Even if you’re not able to overcome the wider cultural taboo of nudity, why wear clothes at home when it’s not cold? What purpose do clothes serve when you’re just sat at a computer or watering your plants? You don’t need protection from clothing most of the time. Indeed sometimes, like doing yoga, they’re just a hindrance! 

So today’s #htlmpchallenge3 topic is Tuesday Top Tips, when I read the post this was the first thing that popped into my head. Not only is it a very mindful thing, it has been very relevant to me lately.

One step at a time is such an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to implement. It can be easy to be overwhelmed and our mind loves to gather lots of thoughts all at once, it can be difficult to slow back down again. But it’s a good reminder that can help you overcome a lot of things.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot that’s outside of my comfort zone, I attended an event alone, I ate at a restaurant alone and these things filled me with nerves. But then I remembered just one step at a time.Think about getting ready at the time, then about just walking to the venue, then going through the door. By not allowing my mind to get caught up in the anxiety of future possibilities it allowed me to push past and have a fantastic time doing something new.

Likewise with stressful situations such as work, you can only manage one task at a time, help one person at a time. Whilst we may need to multitask at times, it is once again a good reminder to try and pull back to one thing at a time when possible. We are more productive when we put our whole into one thing as opposed to part of ourselves into many things.

It’s not a new tip I suppose, but a reminder on a Tuesday morning to pace yourself and don’t feel guilty for not doing all the things all the time.