legally.ginger

My phone is never on ring. You’ll be lucky if my bitch ass feels generous enough to put it on vibrate. The shit is in my hand at least 5 hours a day, if I don’t notice the notification or I’m busy then I wouldn’t have responded anyways, I would have just been irked that it went off at all. 

This is a also huge part of the reason people want to get Drumpf out of office so badly. Yes there’s the literally everything else but he’s also the one in charge of the big red button right now. Commander-in-chief of the armed forces I’ll remind you. That’s another reason why perceived temperament is really important for a lot of people when choosing the president. We don’t just have to think about this person’s policies. We have to think about whether or not we trust them with the football. The proverbial big red button. The key to ending life as we know it.

Lord & Ladles - scottish chefs cook historical feasts in historical mansions! you meet wacky old money people and learn about strange things their ancestors got up to! you get to watch as world-renowned chefs fail at catching a fish! someone makes a hedgehog out of marzipan! people in the olden times ate some crazy shit! every episode ends with the chefs cheersing each other while lying on vintage furniture!

Big Dreams, Small Spaces - cute british people have cute yards that cute gardening man helps to make into much cuter yards. one lady wants to grow vegetables to share with her neighborhood. one lady wants to sculpt a huge mud head covered in moss coming out of the ground. one dad wants a garden for his down’s syndrome kid so he makes a sensory garden with a thousand different smells and textures. one couple wants to grow flowers for their wedding. it’s all wonderful.

Nailed It! - a bunch of people probably got high and decided to throw money at this show idea. everybody tries their best and everybody comes away either having learned something helpful, having had a rollicking good time, or having won a bunch of money. all the judges are good sports and nobody is made to feel bad for doing bad. also there’s some fucking crazy shit they get up to with modeling chocolate i tell you what.

Skin Wars - actually a lot about artists and their craft??? not really at all about sexy ladies being naked??? very cool stuff done by people with atrocious fashion sense and a complete willingness to buy into the moment. a few bad apples but mostly the reality-show-ness is pretty toned down and people are there to make cool art.

A Cook Abroad - chefs go to different parts of the world and learn about food there. A dumb white guy makes bread with adorable egyptian ladies! A british man gets exhausted by the length of roads in argentina and is only recharged by steak! An awesome woman makes cheese in france!

Love Your Garden - british man does garden makeovers for wholesome deserving families with special needs. Maybe a little bit on the weepy side of things but his assistants are all great and have fantastic hairstyles and people in wheelchairs deserve flowers!

Puffin Rock - this show is supposedly for babies but it is SO PRETTY and SO CHARMING and it’s about animals and nature and stuff and doesn’t really completely shy away from that?? like, one of the characters is a little rodent and the seagulls are the bad guys and he’s actually afraid of getting eaten?? anyway baby birds sing songs with baby bunnies and play splishsplash with baby seals and snuggle with baby animals of all sorts in a beautiful hand painted island.

i’d also suggest the bbc historical farms series–it’s not on netflix, but it *is* mostly on youtube. the metafilter guide that originally introduced me to it is here. there are a bunch of different series of it, now, and each one is a group of archaeologists and historians living on a period location–victorian farm, they live in a farmhouse from the era, and they farm and raise animals and etc wearing period clothing, using period tools and sources as guides. and it sounds like it could be cringey, but they’re all experts in their fields and actually really invested in trying to do things well, so instead it’s a bunch of shows about teamwork and being friends (most of the core team stays the same) and learning things, and it’s delightful.

7 Days Out - might not be soothing for some people, but it’s a fascinating show about how huge events are put on and all the work that is done behind the scenes.

The Big Flower Fight - just like Bake-Off, but with flowers & florists

Next In Fashion - a nicer/friendlier version of Project Runway

The Toys that Made Us - history of iconic toys

There’s NO catty fighting. All the drama is in the skill! The contestants do not hate each other! They actively HELP if one of them is struggling.