lee

i’m sorry you’re going through it. the good thing is you are going through it. you’ll come out of the other side of this.

CREATE BAD ART

WRITE SHIT

It turns out that you can become the person you’ve always envisioned but you’ll still have the person you were before inside of you and you have to treat them with as much forgiveness and love as possible

Sorry, blackthorns as a concept are so gothic. What do you mean there are a bunch of orphaned kids with dark hair, pale skin, and creepy/mesmerizing blue eyes? What do you mean the oldest is constantly drugging his uncle to keep him sane? What do you mean the uncle is a raving lunatic hidden in the attic who befriends vampires and is weirdly obsessed with the ancient history/myths his family is named after? What do you mean the only Blackthorns who don’t have startlingly dark hair are half faerie, smelling of the wild woods, with horrible knowledge, and ears like knives? What do you mean they’ve looked the same for the last 200 years? What do you mean a villain is trying to hunt them for their blood? What do you mean they listen to the raging sea on stormy nights? What do you mean they wake up every day to see their brother wearing the face of the father he killed?

what’s it called when you’re so disconnected from reality that cold water doesn’t feel like anything and you can barely taste food anymore

you have permission to still feel heartbroken over things you feel like you should have moved on from by now

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

You must forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Yes, if you knew then what you know now things might be different. But the past is in the past, and you are here today. Move forward with grace and self love.

I am still learning! I am allowed to make mistakes! Big mistakes!!! Huge mistakes!!! They will not stop me from growing!!!!

Don't lose what makes you you in order to get over a break-up. We always talk about post-breakup glow up online but you don't need to. I get the want to come of as put together but there's frankly more strength in just learning from the relationship and then going on with how you want to go on. You don't 'need' to look 'better'. It's a good motivator to get up and do the things you want, but never let it be something you feel like you have to do.

it’s crazy how much you can read if you read

maybe you don’t have to constantly pick yourself apart. maybe you don’t have to think about your past today. maybe you’re learning to let go, maybe you’re learning to be okay without answers. maybe it’s enough to exist peacefully in your routines. moderate your vices and your symptoms and go easy on yourself when you slip. maybe it’s enough to be the campy roommate. maybe it’s enough to be kind to strangers and the shy teenager you work with. maybe you’re okay to spend a day not thinking about that thing you’re always thinking about. maybe you’re nicer to people than you believe you are. maybe there’s nothing wrong with the things you like. maybe you’re allowed to be gross and ugly and weird and maybe you should stop pretending to live your life under a camera. maybe it’s enough to buy yourself coffee and vegetables. maybe there was nothing wrong with you back then, maybe there’s something incredible waiting for you, maybe there’s nothing you’re supposed to do today but wash your face and get some rest.

i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.

i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.

This is brilliant!!!!!!