Escape

“Today I missed you and it didn’t hurt to miss you like the earth longs for the rain when summer begins to fade, and it needs the drops to soothe the feeling of transition. Today I missed you and I was happy for the space you left how it was empty, null but not at all broken when autumn suddenly comes to take the leaves to the ground so that the trees can remember their roots. Today I missed you and I was there at the supermarket sniffing the flowers that reminded me of how beautiful a struggle winter is because what comes after that was the day I first kissed your smile that’s as annihilating as your giggle. Today I missed you and that’s all these words can express because you were searching for something while I was searching for something else and we both had to let go for our truths and honestly, I hope you find what makes you spring.”

i’m trying so damn hard to get over you. you told me to let you go and i don’t think you understand just how fucking hard that is for me.

Looking back, I realise he was never great. But he had so much potential, and I could never forgive myself if I didn’t fight for us. So I turned a blind eye to all the red flags and fell in love with a lie. I romanticized betrayal by calling it a misunderstanding and when I gave my all, only to get nothing in return, I still called it compromising.

“…I thought I was broken and I thought I was used up and I thought I had nothing left to give. I’d given everything and I didn’t really know what was left. But there’s a part of us that is unbreakable. You always find it again.”

“He touched me in places eyes couldn’t see, & left scars in the same place. In retrospect, the pain wasn’t worth it. But if you would’ve asked me a month ago if I would change anything I would have told you no. He held my hands the way I needed my heart held, & that’s not something you could ever understand”

A series of events: