leafyteahouse 🍁

After Nakamura finds out that Hirose got a girlfriend, he walks around town empty and processes it verrrryyy slowly. Not in the usual comical way, but in a sad, depressing way that helps the viewer realize he's truly upset. The quietness and solemn music only further push this.

What I want to focus on is the couples surrounding him in this moment however.

The straight couples surrounding him. There's like 7 of them in this 40 second clip alone, with Nakamura either completely out of frame or in frame but out of focus.

This moment means so much to me. It really highlights the prevalence of straight relationships in the media AND in the day to day. It displays a common factor in the queer experience: loneliness. Besides Matsumura, Nakamura doesn't know anyone else who is LGBTQ+ (to my knowledge). Nakamura being surrounded by happy straight couples after finding out his crush is dating a girl is, well, crushing.

Pointing out the obvious, I know, but dating while straight is completely different that dating while gay. For straight people, the question that the love interest likes the opposite sex isn't even a question. It's just assumed. For queer people, knowing if the love interest even likes the same sex is the most prominent.

since the anime is from Nakamura's perspective, it goes to show that Nakamura is observing this. I think this moment is him realizing he's been living in a fantasy world that just doesn't match up with reality, and he's now acutely aware.

It's unfortunately common for queer characters/relationships (whether canon or heavily implied) to be thrown to the side for the sake of straight couples/ships. The camera focus on these random couples instead of on Nakamura, the gay main character, reminds me very much of this. I see this as both a commentary on how some media fails its queer characters and Nakamura realizing the reality of his situation.

And then he tries to put his feelings to the side.

Which is understandable. Wanting the best for Hirose is noble, it's admirable. But it doesn't erase the hurt. Even after accepting Hirose dating Hana, and wanting the best for them, he's still horribly upset.

So I'm glad they let Nakamura cry.

Besides that, I want to say that I find the trope of the queer character learning that love is "about the journey, not the destination" (and/or that they only need self-love) to be old fashioned and disappointing. While I think that's a good message for most, too many queer characters AND REAL QUEER PEOPLE experience this for it to be a satisfying ending. Queer people deserve love too. Deserve to receive love back.

qifrey doodles