whose heart are you?

laying an egg hard and loud

will the person who tagged this “stephen colbert” please approach the bench.

whore

1984 IF IT WAS GAY: WIG MOTHER IS WATCHING

can you people stop being gay? cut it out lol

FUCK YOU

what are you? gay?

You fucking wish. You just wish you were me.

oh yeah? oh yeah?

Yeah, you fucking stubborn asshole

*pushes you on to a locker and we passionately make out*

*doesn’t stop you*

Huh

im sorry did you need something you homophobe

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?

drinking from a mug that says "world's most pointless animal"

in 2014 my friends and i went on omegle with the search term "furry" and people would ask "a/s/f/o" which is Age, Sex, Fursona (Species), Orientation and every single time we would respond with "I am Job the turtle. I am slow but I will rock you" and every single time they would immediately disconnect

Did you seriously just allow the seed of cruelty to sprout

revealing your scaring the hoes type interests early on in a relationship is a good way to secure only hoes of bravery and fortitude that will craft horrible dreams and beautiful nightmares with you

i can name all four warlords of draenor

nvm i am thiking of the teletubbies

teenie weenie, tinky winky, lala, po, and kargath bladefist

SLUT WORLD IS UNDER ATTACK

Tumblr needs to introduce warioware style minigames that appear randomly as you scroll your dashboard