Orange Soda

There is a space between us that’s growing. With how foreign you’re starting to feel and how apart from me you’re growing I can’t help but feel like I’m just dead weight to you these days; the dog too. Sure, we have our moments where everything feels normal again, they’re just in the late hours when you’re done living as your day-self. We aren’t as happy as we used to be, and I don’t think the dog is to blame for that. I know I tend to lock up at times but I’m feeling more often now like I’m the one trying to hold this all together during the day while you do your part when it isn’t an inconvenience to everything else you’re trying to accomplish. The worst part for me is that we just keep on pedaling like there isn’t something out of sync with the gears under us. It’s obvious that we’re both changing gears in life, but it feels like you’re shifting into 3rd while I’m grinding against the transmission just to move out of neutral.  I know we’re supposed to trust that God has his plan for each of us, and that we’re all going to get where we’re meant to go when we’re meant to be there, but I feel like I’m not getting there fast enough to keep up with you. Along with everyone else in my life’s ever-thinning patience with me getting even slimmer, it’s obvious I’ve finally tapped into your reserves. I wish you would’ve printed that list. The real reason I asked you to keep that it is so you’d have reasons to stay with me because I feel like you’re starting to run out of your own. I have far more questions than I do have answers at a point in my life where I thought the opposite would be true, and at this particular time, when I spiritually need you most by my side, it happens to be the time which you mentally and physically need to be elsewhere just as much for yourself. Please do not receive my words as an affront because I don’t blame or hold you in contempt for anything happening. I just wish we could find a way to talk this out. I believe our relationship is strong enough that we could iron this out as we do most every other thing, but I am worried about future consequences if we don’t address it. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you before there’s nothing I can do about it. Please help me fix this. Please help me fix us. Tell me what you are thinking so we can meet in the middle like we always have.

https://soundcloud.com/the-d3generates/mix-1-its-a-trap