lavenderme

This is “Kindled” by Laura K. Cannon, which is part of her portfolio that can be found here: http://navate.com/2wk6im1sartc92iwza7il07bxq2mk5

“This went kinda viral on tumblr and people are arguing whether it’s a painting of Aphrodite. It’s not. If she must be a goddess, I think she’d be Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire.

But it doesn’t depict anyone specifically. After some soul-searching I realize that, while I wasn’t thinking about it at the time, it’s a painting about battling depression. I live with MDD so the idea of emerging from the depths is a powerful thing for me.

Is she being born from the lava, or is she climbing out of Hell? I think it’s both.”

She said she practiced this technique like 5 times in her office before she requested a meeting with her boss. I’m gonna share it with you guys because I really loved it.

You start off by thanking your employer for their support (whatever that means in the context of your work environment). You then say that you would like to take some time to discuss next year’s salary. You say, allow me to refresh your memory regarding some of my accomplishments or contributions from the past year, and you present a written summary of all that you’ve done. You close by saying, I hope that next year’s salary reflects this list of contributions and you thank them for their time and see yourself out.

I just loved how she made it seem so much less daunting of a task. She said not to underestimate your achievements as women have a tendency underreporting what they’ve done.

I have uploaded the complete series of Masters of Sex on Vimeo, for everyone’s viewing pleasure (and as a big fuck you to Showtime) since it’s no longer available on streaming platforms. All episodes are linked individually below the “Read More” and please enjoy – it was a show that certainly ended prematurely. I’ve also included a couple other links as a sort of viewing guide.

okay so you want to have a relationship? here are the culturally acceptable options: 

Fetishize your own inevitable abuse so you can convince yourself you chose this to make the reality of your situation less painful

Moralize your own inevitable abuse so you can convince yourself you chose this to make the reality of your situation less painful

Sometimes people hit a place in their life where things are going really well. They like their job and are able to be productive at it; they have energy after work to pursue the relationships and activities they enjoy; they’re taking good care of themselves and rarely get sick or have flareups of their chronic health problems; stuff is basically working out. Then a small thing about their routine changes and suddenly they’re barely keeping their head above water.

(This happens to me all the time; it’s approximately my dominant experience of working full-time.)

I think one thing that’s going on here is that there are a bunch of small parts of our daily routine which are doing really important work for our wellbeing. Our commute involves a ten-minute walk along the waterfront and the walking and fresh air are great for our wellbeing (or, alternately, our commute involves no walking and this makes it way more frictionless because walking sucks for us). Our water heater is really good and so we can take half-hour hot showers, which are a critical part of our decompression/recovery time. We sit with our back to the wall so we don’t have to worry about looking productive at work as long as the work all gets done. The store down the street is open really late so late runs for groceries are possible. Our roommate is a chef and so the kitchen is always clean and well-stocked.

It’s useful to think of these things as load-bearing. They’re not just nice - they’re part of your mental architecture, they’re part of what you’re using to thrive. And when they change, life can abruptly get much harder or sometimes just collapse on you entirely. And this is usually unexpected, because it’s hard to notice which parts of your environment and routine are load bearing. I often only notice in hindsight. “Oh,” I say to myself after months of fatigue, “having my own private space was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a scary drop in weight, “being able to keep nutrition shakes next to my bed and drink them in bed was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a sudden struggle to maintain my work productivity, “a quiet corner with my back to the wall was load-bearing.”