Kites flying high in the Summer breeze, not a care in the world.

I wasn’t gonna be salty, but enough of my fellow OC writers [especially female OC writers] are talking about side-eyeing the OC love posts and are actively avoiding their dash because we don’t wanna be reminded of hypocrisy, that. well. 

Imma be that bitch. 

[Partially because I don’t give enough fucks and don’t mind clearing out some followers. Cuz that’s what’s going to happen because I’m being “”bitchy””.]

Let’s start with this: I’ve been RPing for nearly 20 years now. Online written, tabletop, LARP, online tabletop, email exchanges. I’ve been there. Done it. [Except LiveJournal, amusingly.] The vast majority of my experience has been OC-only and OC-majority. 

It wasn’t until I came to tumblr that I had to really worry about people not interacting because of RPing an OC. Much less a female OC. And I started in the Supernatural fandom. Which is notorious for being bad to female characters. 

I do pretty well with interactions on my OCs. Most of the time. When I’m the one actively reaching out, talking to people OOC, spamming people with memes, loving on other people’s shit. I got busy and stopped meme spamming and my interactions dipped HARD. 

To the point that I debated giving up. 

And I have 400+ followers. 

I was gonna talk about my personal experience on RPing, but I decided instead to talk about what I see. [And this is over time, not just now. Cuz I’ve been here for 5+ years.]

I see OCs posting OOC about how they want more interactions.

I see OCs talking about how they don’t feel like people actually like their muse. 

I see OCs whose interactions die with other muses if it doesn’t fit into a narrow little window. 

I see female OCs have to dance a narrow line between not being too ship-happy and not avoiding ships. Because fall out of that space and you won’t get interactions.

I see female OCs get hate for shipping with canon. Or writing smut. And I see a lot of them turning to wlw heavy because other female OC writers are the most likely to be welcoming. 

I see those “LOVE FEMALE OCS!” posts. From people I’ve seen interact with maybe two female OCs. Or have consistently been seen NERFing OCs because their muse is canon and therefore definitely 100% always is better. [Even if the muse is weak in their canon.]

You love OCs? 

Actually fucking show it.

Go and love an OC you haven’t show any to. Someone who isn’t popular and gets showered with love all the time. Who isn’t “”RPC APPROVED””. Love on the female OCs, who don’t ever get that shit unless it’s from their active RP/ship partners.

Don’t tell me you love OCs if you only love them in theory. Especially female OCs.

They get ignored, feel unwanted or easily replaceable.      – Insecurities have a way with getting the best of us. In a community where muns are dropped because real life restricts their time online, or someone else replies more quickly, it’s easy to feel like you don’t matter… Especially if you’re one of the blogs being dropped as though you’re nothing more than a reply generator. 

They feel like you’re only writing with them for their muse / that they’re part of a collection.      – Admit it, we all have our favorite face claims / characters that we want interactions with, but there’s a difference between loving a face claim or character, and collecting them like pokemon. No, kids… You really don’t have to catch them all. In fact, a lot of people get turned off and feel like they mean less to you because you have so many of the same muse writing with you, and definitely if all of your threads / interactions become too similar. 

They feel like you only want their muse for smut purposes.       – Who doesn’t love a good smut thread? Some people write only smut, and that’s fine, but there are some that don’t take their partner’s feelings into consideration. If you want to write smut, or do nothing but shippy things, that’s great. You do you and have fun. But some people don’t like when they’ve been hounded for smut over and over. Please be respectful of this fact.

“I’ll follow you/write with you everywhere!” except for that blog…      – We’ve all heard this from people that offer praise from time to time. I’ll write with every muse you’ve got! (until you slap a self promo on the dash for that female muse, that other-fandom muse or an oc you’ve poured your heart into… Then when you get excited about said muse, they lie to you with “I didn’t know that was you!” as though they’d missed the 30 self reblogs of that promo you made for your new muse. 

Too many ‘tell me you like me’ memes reblogged, but not sent in.      – As much as we all hate feeling like nothing more than a meme archive, these are the worst memes to get swiped from your blog, only to receive nothing in your inbox. It wouldn’t kill you to send in the symbol or a little bit of something to make someone feel good. You’re following them for a reason, aren’t you? Tell them that!

They get ignored out of character simply because they aren’t sending constant replies, memes, etc.      – People seem to think that, if you aren’t keeping their muse entertained, you aren’t worth talking to as a person. You see them on the dash talking about having no one, about needing attention, and you think ‘then… what am I to them?’ Just because your partner isn’t clinging to your muse and making you their top priority doesn’t mean you can’t talk to them out of character, that you can’t plot with the other muses they have so you’re interacting, no matter which blog either of you are on. There are people behind these blogs. Living, breathing people that - if they liked you on one blog, they should like you on another. Stop treating them like only your favorite muse of theirs matters – not the writer behind it. 

… They lost muse

Just a small reminder that I’ve moved back to the main blog and this blog has been on permanent haitus.

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Unpopular opinion confession – I wish mutuals only blogs didn’t rub it in so hard.

Let me explain before you all get upset! You find a blog with a muse or full of muses you are interested in. In excitement, you click the follow button. You’ve read their rules and so your anxiety is high the moment you click follow. It’s all to do with their wording.

Many mutuals only blogs will inform you in often times an aggressive way that if they don’t follow you back, that means they do not want to roleplay with you, they do not want to plot with you, or speak to you. Basically, you don’t exist to them, so do not make any attempts to talk. Often though these muns may add that you can feel free to send them memes or tell them you like their portrayal, but asking about rping is off limits.

And look I totally get why these muns are super straight forward and even a little hostile sounding in their rules. They want to make it clear that they don’t want unwanted interaction. They’ve probably dealt with a lot of unwanted interaction. I get it. They probably have never been good at saying ‘no thank you’ so being a little hostile is how they guard themselves from having to turn people down. I get it.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t intimate the fuck out of me. Or give me massive anxiety when I see them online and wonder what they’ll make of MY blog after I’ve followed.

And it doesn’t change how badly it hurts when days then a week then weeks go by and I realize bluntly I did NOT make the cut, aka, I don’t exist to them. Not getting a follow back from a mun who is very blunt about ‘if I don’t follow you means I never want to roleplay” it just HURTS. It’s rejection that feels like rejection without a chance and it hurts. The wording of their own rules is their own special way of saying “Yeah I don’t like your muse at ALL!”

I always appreciate it when a mutuals only blog is open to non mutuals in that while they are mutuals only, they are not against hearing ideas from non mutuals. I’ve made partners through reaching out to mutuals only blogs who said in their rules or on anon they were perfectly fine with plotting with a non mutual who had an idea to share.

But I guess as a blog that’s never been mutuals only, it’s hard for me to grasp. I don’t like closing myself off to possibility and I also understand there’s no way I can look at every muse and know all the possible plot ideas unless I plot with that mun. I don’t want to close doors. I want to keep my doors open. But with that said, I STILL get it and I don’t want this confession to come off as mutuals only bashing.