Lavender chameleon

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

Never make life decisions while you're hair is untied

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

they should invent a high ponytail that doesn’t give me a headache and they should invent a low ponytail that doesn’t make me look like a miller’s apprentice going off to enlist in the continental army

thinking about this

@focsle

as a child of divorce few things are as funny to me as the concept of alimony like you have to pay your ex-wife recompense for the crime of being a fail husband

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i tried to microwave a popsicle

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i posted on the wrong blog again