heart and mind / !

          𝒚𝒐𝒖   𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅   𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌   𝒊𝒕   𝒘𝒂𝒔   𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆   𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈   𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉 .   he   wasn’t   a   stellar   student   by   any   means ,   and   that   was   very   clearly   reflected   in   his   study   habits .   one   day  ,   he   would   be   sure   to   thank   the   girl   sitting   across   from   him   for   single - handedly   holding   him   accountable .   he  was   a   little   arrogant ,   a   false   belief   of   invincibility .   

          arms   were   folded   atop   the   table   &   he   leaned   forward   to   rest   his   chin   on   his   forearm .   as   much   as   he   didn’t   want   to   be   focusing   on   school   work ,   her   dedication   to   it   amused   him .   ❛  i   am   concentrating ! ❜   he   insisted ,   borderline   whined .   (  𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔   𝑜𝑛   𝘩𝑒𝑟 … )   ❛   1823            something   an   old   white   guy   created   because   he   was   mad   at   a  bunch   of   other   old   white   guys .   put   that   on   your   flashcard .  ❜

“  andy .  ”  she said , rather exasperated as she looked at him . not looking as tired as she sounded , maybe a little  amused  . the smallest of smiles on pursed lips , saying more than she would any time soon . pen twirled between her fingers , not in a rhythmic pattern - more mindless .  “  if the answer were  that  simple  , this class would be a one hour session for the entire semester . you need  specifics  . like ,  europe not being able to interfere in the affairs of the western hemisphere ...  ” 

𝚑𝚎’𝚜   𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐  .          head   supported   by   both   hands   as   his   mother   moved   effortlessly   around   the   kitchen    -    despite   her   reluctance   to   give   his   homemade   lunch   of    (  under   cooked  )   pasta   ,   ham    &    mayonnaise   a   real   compliment    ,    whatever   she   was   cooking   smelt   divine  .    like   the   warmth   his   childhood   was   so   rapidly   losing   all   forced   into   a   pot   ,   left   to   simmer   like   no   big   deal .    

@groupheart​     :    ‘ would you like to help me make dinner? ’ c'mon ham and mayo boy

❝  not   really   .  ❞       standing    regardless   of   his   words   ,   jacob   makes   his   way   around   the   table   to   the   oven   .     wooden   spoon   feels    &    looks   awkward   in   his   hand    ,   𝙖𝙨   𝙞𝙛   𝙝𝙚’𝙨   𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝   𝙩𝙤𝙤   𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙡    &    𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩   𝙛𝙤𝙧   𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨   𝙖𝙩   𝙩𝙝𝙚   𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚   𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚   .      with   little   to   no   confidence   ,    the   spoon   is   dipped   into   the   pot   ,   stirring   around   the   ingredients .    ❝  i   mean  .   .   .    ❞      started    ,    without   prompt   from   his   mother   .    ❝  i’ll   eat   whatever   you   call   this   …     but   i’ll   be   missin’   my   pasta .    it   was   great .  ❞       mediocre   .

laurie didn’t think she was the best cook in the world - she definitely wasn’t . but , recipes she had learned from her mother had come in handy - even if looking back at notes set off  a  wave  of  emotions  that laurie wasn’t too fond of feeling . of course , even if she weren’t to admit it , laurie missed her mother and father . especially missed cooking with her mother like this when she got the chance . but , there was nothing she could do to change that . she had chosen andy over them -  and  she  wouldn’t  change  that  . she loved him . loved the son they had too . they were her life . she could make her own memories of cooking with jacob now .

a smile came to her lips at the other’s response , amused as she watched him get up from his seat . she held out the spoon for him to take as she moved out the way .  ❛  just keep stirring . i don’t want half of it sticking to the bottom .  ❜  she commented , pressing a kiss to the top of his head . a quiet laugh left her as she went to grab the bread from the cupboard .  ❛  oh , i’m sure it was , honey . i mean , you can definitely make yourself that instead . your father and i can have this and we’ll save the rest for later .  ❜  laurie teased , glancing back at her son . 

what would you think laurie would be doing if she hadn't married andy and/or had Jacob?

I mean, honestly, it’s really hard to imagine Laurie without the two of them, you know? But, I will put on our big thinky brains and give it my best shot!

I think one of the main things is that she’d probably still be a teacher. She loved that job a lot and I feel like she’d stick with that. Maybe, given the option, may have pursued it more? Perhaps eventually working towards working in higher education settings - become a professor of sorts. How likely that is though, I’m not sure? I feel like she prefers helping younger kids a lot more than those that are older. Likes to be able to provide such a safe setting for them, help them learn and grow. It’s easier to build connections with kids when they’re younger. High school dramas or the intensity of working in a college may just be too much for her. Its extremely likely that even if she had been with Andy and never had Jacob, she would still be teaching. 

I also think she’d still be searching for some sort of companionship. Not directly but Laurie doesn’t like to be alone. She likes company. Living alone never suited her even if she tries to act so fiercely independent. And, not to go on some kind of mindless rant but I feel like if Laurie had remained close to her family (which obviously doesn’t seem possible unless she never married Andy) I feel like she wouldn’t almost work as hard to be such a safety net for others. I don’t think she’d be so forward as to make herself the emotional core of groups. Laurie, after basically losing her own family when marrying Andy, certainly tries to build an almost replica of those relationships in others. She tries to build a sort of family with friends. Without her marriage to Andy, I feel like she wouldn’t work as hard to have that connection with people because she still has the likes of her mother and father, and other family members, to be her company.