Getting Meaner

I am sooooo depressed jesus fuck. I can't stop feeling fucking miserable I want to cry every moment of the day I just feel so disappointed by my life like there's an empty void in my heart that will never be filled it's almost impossible to do the easiest things right now. I just feel so fucking stupid and lost all of the time like there's no way for me to touch real happiness and all I do instead is want and want and want. Fuck me for all of this fuck me fuck me fuck me I saw a girl i wanted to ask out at pride and I didn't say hi and I had a chance to and I want to die every second of the day I can't let go of this feeling I feel so horrible. Why can't I feel happy anymore

I am so unchill I need to be put down immediately

Feeling very upset. Someone I was messaging on here deleted out of nowhere. She seemed cool and I wanted to be friends and I don't know why but this wave of fear and sadness hit me. I hope she's okay?

Uh oh

If this musician girl doesn't message me back I'm gonna end it all

Fuck all that blanchardian noise but yesterday was my first time hooking up with a girl who by her own description used to be a faggy little twink and by god yeah that was really something else

I can't believe it took me this long to work up the courage for hookups holy fuck

Hey I haven't used this blog that much in the last little while, some updates: broke things off with that maoist girl about two months back and it sucked so bad, i am also now on grindr attempting to have as many hookups as possible in my 1 week off work and so far it's going very successfully

I swear to christ when my ideology prevails and takes over the world I am going to have to deliver some kind of state-mandated seminar on how to properly massage the prostate because the number of girls who have told me nobody's ever done that to them before is absolutely criminal

Dick hurts so much not from atrophy but cause this girl keeps asking me to fuck the shit out of her when her pussy is only like 3 inches deep